24: All The Pretty Horses
Chapter 24 of 47
Fawkes_07Snape returns to the Forbidden Forest as promised, and has a pleasantly unexpected encounter.
ReviewedSnape despised the Forest on the sunniest days. Prowling around it at night, he silently cursed Potter and his entire ancestry every time he tripped over a root or turned his ankle in some unexpected pit. It was too dark to even hope of collecting any useful Potions ingredients, and it appeared that he wouldn't even find Potter.
Hearing something in the distance, Snape paused below a scraggly elm to catch his breath. Voices, female. The pitch was right for the Prat's friends, but they sounded far too jocular. Whoever they were, they were laughing raucously. When he heard the prancing of hooves, he knew the Fates had finally cut him some slack.
Four female centaurs capered in the clearing ahead--probably all of the mares in the herd. They were much more pleasant than the stallions; they had all the sensibility and wit of their species and were far more lovely to gaze upon than the idiot males (who seemingly existed only to guard them obsessively, in hopes of being favored at the annual estrus). Centauras were scarce and thus were constantly pampered, and they ruled the stallions with an iron hoof. They also adored certain scented pomades for their long, thick hair. Snape had definitely wandered into some good luck.
"My eyes I do not trust in the dark, but my ears revel in the laughter of lovely maidens. Have I perchance stumbled into the greatest temptations in the Forest?"
"Why, Severus Snape! What a lovely surprise! What brings you to our midst? Have you something new and delicious for us?" The centaura cantered across the clearing to him, causing all manner of ripples and bounces about her person.
"Sadly, all I can offer at the moment is myself, Klytemnestra, though you may partake of as much as you wish," he replied with an exaggerated bow.
She flashed her perfect teeth in a wicked smile. "How cruel you are, making such a tempting offer, yet you are without a stepladder, darling Severus. Did you perhaps leave it in some dark corner of the woods, where I must follow you and be left to your tender mercy?"
"Lure you away, and affront these other most worthy beauties? Klyta, my dear, I fear it must be all of you, or none."
She laughed gaily. The mares lacked nothing, except for males who were not so poisoned with their own testosterone that they could carry on a decent conversation. A shame, really, for they were flirtatious and funny, all of which was wasted on the stallions. Klyta offered her hand as she knelt on her forelegs. "Very well Severus, if I must share you, then you will at least mount me first, lover." Snape took her hand and glided onto her equine back, pressing up firmly against her upper body but careful to place his hands only on the sides of her waist. The centaura were the ultimate reason the Forest was forbidden, for though they spoke lasciviously and seductively, they did not suffer any but their own species to touch them. Few male students would survive beyond their third or fourth year if allowed to encounter these deadly vixens.
The centaura bucked irregularly as she trotted across the clearing, forcing him to grip her tightly with his arms and legs. "Klyta, you mischievous imp, perhaps I should bring a crop with me next time, that I may compel you to behave," he breathed into her ear, noting that she was wearing the lavender-scented gel he'd made.
She laughed again in a musical little whinny, then called to her comrades. "Look here, I have another guest, much more pleasant than the first."
Oh, shit. If Potter's been stampeded to death, that will really cause some problems. "Another? I must share you with another man? Unbearable! Someone give me a bow!" he bellowed in a fair imitation of Magorian, the current alpha male. The centauras cackled and the dappled one, Nausicaa, came up alongside and hoisted him over onto her back. He shrugged at Klyta with mock helplessness, then hung on carefully for dear life as the bucking and prancing began anew.
When Nausicaa finished with him, he begged to be permitted a respite to "recover his strength," and she let him slide from her back. He would eventually have to play with the other two, but he had a decent segue at the moment. "And I would see my rival, who has surely courted the others already unless he is blind, deaf, and foolish."
"Alas, Severus," said the silvery mare, Leucothea, "our other toy is not nearly as much fun. I'm afraid the stallions have already played her out." She sneered and pawed the ground, pointing with one of her human arms at a lumpy heap at the edge of the clearing. For a brief moment he caught his breath in terror that it was Hermione, but he knew that was absurd; the centaurs had a strict code of conduct and did not harm the young. I can't have her, and neither can they, he reminded himself with relief.
He peered more closely. It was Umbridge. Ugh. Her eyes were open and she was breathing, but really, there was little else that could be said. Snape recalled the night Firenze had moved into the castle, and how he had speculated on the ways Umbridge might welcome him. It certainly seemed that centaurs did like that sort of thing after all. Ugh. A shame they didn't just finish her off, but really, this might just make her more manageable than anything Lucius could have dreamed up. "Ugh. My regrets that you have been burdened with this for even a moment. Yet, how can any appreciate your beauty without some ugliness to compare with it, on occasion?"
The mares giggled again, and the black one, Nephele, grimaced in disgust. "Do you know this creature, Severus?"
"I'm afraid so. May I ask how you acquired her?"
"She came into the woods with some foals from the school," Nephele replied disdainfully. "Got a bit cheeky with the males. I believe she called them 'half breeds,' a mistake I imagine she will not repeat."
Klyta grinned dangerously. "I'm quite sure every one of them demonstrated that there is nothing 'half' about their breeding."
"Well, perhaps some of them are closer to half," smirked Nausicaa with a knowing glance at her girlfriends.
Snape grinned. If there were any stallions within earshot, they would kill him for being privy to that comment. "Ironically, it was my search for the missing foals that led me to the delights of your company. I hope the stallions were not so crass as to teach this woman her lesson in front of the young ones?"
Nephele snorted. "Oh, it wouldn't surprise me, the show-offs. But one foal was a lass and they probably feared she would throw herself wantonly upon their irresistable bodies if she caught sight of them." Her voice dripped with sarcasm. "No, your young have left the forest. Several thestrals are missing; I suspect they have all gone exploring."
"You are undoubtedly correct, as usual, fair Nephele," said Snape. "I beg you, allow me to rid you of this filthy woman; her presence is an affront to this earthly paradise."
Nephele grinned slyly and tossed her hair. She had always been his favorite, and not just because her coat and mane were black. "But Severus," she complained with a pout, "that would mean parting company already, and I have not yet had my way with you." She knelt on her forelegs and held out a hand. "I shall escort you to the edge of the forest."
"Far be it from me to refuse." Snape climbed onto her back and, to his suprise, she took his hands and pulled them around her, placing them on her belly. Well, well! He quickly cast a Mobilicorpus spell upon Umbridge to haul her along behind them, though he let her lag behind a little way.
"Severus," began Nephele, taking his hands again and raising them to her ribs, "I find it disconcerting that the stallions have bred with this creature."
"Do you now, Nephele? Surely you can't be jealous."
The centaura laughed. "No, not of her--by the heavens, I've coupled with every one of them as well, though never all in one night." She continued to raise his hands inexorably toward her soft breasts. "I don't think it's quite fair that the stallions have permitted themselves to mate with a human while we mares remained chaste."
Snape grinned and softened his voice innocently. "Poor Nephele, I don't think Madam Umbridge can satisfy you."
She arched her back, resting her head on his shoulder and bringing his hands to their exquisite destination at last. "Aye, and poor Severus. It seems it is up to you to restore equity in the forest."
Snape was no fool. Centaura were legendary teases, though it was most unusual for them to yield this much physical contact. He left his hands where she had placed them, but kept them absolutely still. "But my dear, it would hardly be equitable to relieve you of your chastity and not the others."
Her eyes gleamed as she put her hands behind his head and hungrily pulled his mouth onto hers. Within seconds, three other pairs of hands set to work at the buttons of his robe.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Fair Exchanges
909 Reviews | 6.76/10 Average
I've warned you that i will continue to harrass you about finishing this story until my dying day. And i always keep my word. Hope you are still around, that all is well for you, and that this story remains on your eternal to do list.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Sigh. It is. It really is. I need a time machine.
Hello again! I don't know if you are even still around, but reading the rest of this story is on my bucket list, so while I still have breath in me, I shall continue to nudge you toward writing. Hope all is well with you and yours.
SPOILER Warning******In case someone has gone this many years without getting through the last book in the series****************************I hope this new turn in their relationship keeps her from wishing she could just hold hands with someone and walk around the lake. She's had a man now. I can't imagine, at least I hope she doesn't go back to boys. What are you going to do about the Ron thing? She can't go with Ron now. It would would be too mean to Severus! I hope she understands when Albus is killed. Poor Severus! There. Again I'm saying it! I don't mind his sacrifices if I know he will be rewarded with the love he deserves for what he has had to pay to rid the world of Tom Riddle. I hope you work this out so that he doesn't suffer at the end and you'd better not kill him off like the witch who kills small beloved pets like owls, and sweet dear magical creatures like house elves protecting their loved one, cruelly rends twins assunder with one on this side alone without his other half and the other one on the opposite side of the vale tellikng jokes without punch lines! Please tell me you will not follow that part of cannon. You are already forcing Severus to do things I don't know if Hermione can forgive him for. She must forgive him though.When are you going to work on this story some more? Do you know? Are you planing to finish this story or did the last cannon book kill your joy when she killed off our Potions Master in an incredibly un-Severus Snap like end. ....As if the Potions Master of all masters wouldn't have antivenin.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
You know, it's funny... DH actually kind of DID kill off a lot of my motivation to keep writing fanfic, even though I never really thought of it that way until just now. I wrote my own Book 7 for my kids--HP and the Heirs of Slytherin, it's here on TPP--starting in about 2006, just because I KNEW JKR was going to blow it. I just knew I wouldn't like her book 7. A lot of these fics kind of spun off during the process of writing HoS, including Fair Exchanges. HoS has a lot of legilimency/occlumency in it, and Hermione asks Harry not to look at her dreams. That sparked this story... Anyway, once I finished HoS, I kinda moved on to other projects and my unfinished fics have been sort of waiting on the vine for me. I know how they all end, and some of them are just a few chapters from complete. But part of the trouble with Fair Exchanges is that I hate DH so much I have no desire to read it carefully enough to make Fair Ex canon-compliant. It can't even be HoS compliant, because my alt. universe has even more trouble ahead for Snape. If it's any comfort, though, the last two chapters of this story were written LONG ago, and it wraps up the story in a way I really liked. I posted them on some other ff sites, if you want to go hunting for them. I kept them off TPP, though, because I wanted to post the whole thing properly here.
She is being a normal girl, unfortunately for Severus. Severus Snape requires a remarkable woman. Strong, forgiving, able to make her own happiness most of the time and able to consistantly see past the Death Eater Double Spy. He needssomeone who wants him especially because he isn't like any other man on earth. And he needs someone older than Hermione. I would be thinking just exactly what she is thinking. He is looking for a life time commitment. She just isn't there yet. I don't se how this can end well for either of them unless you figure out a way to turn cannon around soon. I hate the way things turned out in the cannon. She ruined everything! I can't stand it. I hope you can salvage this back story so that it comes out much better than the original. Severus deserves better. I hate feeling sorry for Snape, damn it! I want him to show them all. I want him to end up with the best end of any stick.
Poor Severus. I wish she'd run off to Polynesia with him. I hope she's worth it in the end. She has no real idea what he faces here. They are living in the moment when they see each other. He knows more about her than she knows about him. There is so much more to him than there is to Hermione at this point in her life. How old is she, 15 or 16? Well, at least he can have someone pure. I hope she never asks about his other lovers. I don't think she is ready for the answer. I'm not sure I'd be ready for the Centaura. And we know that in his youth he willingly committed rape in this story, though he reqrets it now. I don't know that Hermione could really handle that knowledge. She might be able to handle the idea that he had possibly been forced to do it, but not with certainty that he had ever willingly done it. He's so screwed is she ever finds out all the things he has to do, unless she is a very unusual individual and not very judgemental. I hope for his sake she is as remarkable as he thinks she is.
Hello! I think Draco just passed out! What do you do with this lie. How to explain that 2 men who appeared to absolutely despise one another were lovers on the low down. Would Draco even fall for that? I don't think he has been present at the OP meetings to observed the apparent mutual hatred. Draco doesn't know how much the murrauders stalked and abused poor Severus. Maybe he'll fall fore it. Poor boy wil be manipulated by the Uncle he trustes. That must taste like shit to Severus.
And Hermione can't know about Draco! She would not understand.
Severus Snape is the most adept spie of all the world if he pulls this off. He must feel like he can never get clean from lying regulary to those few who trust him, beastiality, cheeting on his overly homornal girlfriend that he shouldn't be with, but amazingly they actually love each other and trust each other. Now, add buggery in order to manipulate his godson. He must keep Hermione and Draco apart. And what would the dark lord or Albus Dumblebutt have to say about all of this distasteful activity. Dude, when this is all over you are going to need some serious counceling!
OK. What should he do now? I say, let the twirp kiss you so that you can get on his good side and find out his secrets. Hey! It's a dog eat dog world out there right now. Just hope that Hermione doens't find out you cheated on her with 4 Centaras and her worst enemy at the school and all in the same week. It's a fine edge you tread, poor Severus. I actually feel sorry for you.
Lucky in many ways it seems, our Severus. The Dark Lord needed a laugh. Oooooo, let a name slip in there that starts with an H. So who actually rescued the toad in the forest after all? Make up any answer you like. I had assumed it was Albus. But why he would bother is beyond me. Does Severus have to go back to fetch her?
So! Our dear potions master is hung like a stallion! Well of couse he is! Those naughty girls. It's a good thing Hermione doesn't know. And, isn't he terrified of being caught in the act by the stallions while making love to the mares? I'm sure they would kill him. I'm glad he gets some small reward for his hard work protecting Harry. It really is too bad they didn't kill Umbridge. I know Jkr needs her later in the story. I hope she has permanent damage though.
There's no way that will happen under these circumstances. I don't believe it. Girls need a mood or something to get then started.
Don't worry Hermione, dear. After you've been married for more than 3 decades you actually will grow together down there from lack of use. You see, the little man is victim to depression, high blood pressure, diabetes and sundry medications for said infirmities, but eventually this will only spark a sense of resigned bitterness. Dreams though few and far between will be a welcomed relief. So cry no more dear girl and by the gods grab him while you can! Perhaps in your world magic will make these things not so. If that is the case, get over it you silly girl. He must truly be desperate to put up with this. You all must be. I was quite emotional the first 20 years. It was dreadful! Now I am resigned to the fact that what ever you were fighting about the first 2 years are the same things you will be fighting about in 10 years until eventually you just look at him and shake your head. Put up with it or try to train a new one. Here is the most important thing you will ever know. They cannot be trained. Don't waste your time.
I love, "like a raisin through a guinea pig"! I take it you speak from experience based on your picture of Mr. Flibbert, I believe his name was. One of the things that annoyed the hell out of me in the movie version of TGoF was the hormonal Hermione whining and bitching in her high pitched self righteous girl BS. I think she was pissed off just like in this chapter for the entire movie. I realize it is true to life but it is still annoying. I have two drama queens of my own and it doesn't get better when they grow up. I am grateful for grandsons. They are loud and every game requires growling and yelling and running in the house, not to mention accidentally bumping into each other on purpose etc. but I am looking forward to much less drama as when they reach puberty. I look also look forward to Hermione in this story finishing her O.L.W.S. I'm hyper-sensitive from PTSD after raising two daughters.
Here it is 2014 and still no end in sight. Please finish this, it is too good and to frustrating to stop here,
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Sigh... I know. I really would like to finish it someday. Too many projects, not enough time!
You do know that as long as this story sits unfinished, I am going to pop in periodically and bug you, right? Now I am not pressuring you. I know that real life can be a bitch. All I'm saying is that I probably have a good fifty years left in me, and I am going to continue to encourage you until I take my last breath. Oh, but please don't wait that long as I do want to read the end, lol.
Hi Fawkes_07, I have enjoyed this so much! It is of course beautifully written and plotted. I think you've captured all the characters quite well. The sense of humor in this story is wonderful and was a great surprise. Love the interactions between H and Severus, and also between Severus & Draco. I see that it has been some years since you've updated. Please, please don't abandon this story! Happy writing!
Ah, I remember following this story every week. It's a shame RL got in the way and it's gone 3 years-ish without an update. I hope you're doing well and come back to it some day. Thank you for the wonderful half-fic, for what it's worth :)
What the what?? I followed you over from MNFF to see what I'd missed, holy mess!!!! I LOVE this story, it constantly shocks me!!
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
LOL, yeah, MNFF had an issue with the human/centaur thing. Glad you're enjoying it... I hope to finish it someday if I ever get my life back.
wow, this story just gets creepier and creepier, in the most interesting and hilarious way possible. this has to be the best story i have ever read on any fanfiction site. u are an awesome writer; i have never laughed this much at a story. i now see why mnff just couldnt bear it, lol, way too many disturbing things. i just got used to the thought of draco being a sex god in other stories, now u make him gay! bwahahaha, talk about a monkeywrench. im sad snape gave that 16-year-old release to the mares. i wished my girl hermione had gotten a piece of that. now that would have been fun to read and write, im sure, hehe. again, u are brilliant!
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
<laughs> Wow, glad you're enjoying it! Yeah, MNFF drew the line at the "bestiality" elements (though they don't seem to mind human/werewolf and human/veela). Eh, whatever.Hadn't thought of the 16-year gap ending with the ponies... I guess this is sort of a tragic story, huh?
More Please!?!?!? I so like how this story is going. Love the HG/SS relationship. I so can not wait for more.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Sigh... I know. I really do intend to finish it, and the funniest stuff is yet to come. You just would not believe the times I've had the past couple years--broken ribs, my mom passed away, a new nonprofit opened in town and begged me to write their grants... I don't even READ fanfic any more, much less write it. But someday things will settle down.
I tried to read this story when I was 16 years of age, back then I could barely read English (not my first language) and I had to consult the dictionary every 3 minutes or so but I do remember little bits of it... This amazing first chapter for example. It's so well written and so true to the characters. It's a pleasure to be able to read it again.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Wow! That's so cool! I'm glad you liked it well enough to come back to it! Thanks!
Aww, Snape's going to be a father. *snickers*
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Not after he gets that potion ready...
The age of consent in the UK is 16 not to mention the use of the Time-Turner so she's actually almost two years older than her peers. She could've consented before.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Hmm, I suppose so. But she used the date to such a fine advantage... had to go with it.
You are a wonderful writer, and I always look forward to reading more of your story. This is byfar my favorite Snape/Hermione fanfic ever. I thank you soooo much for updating! I love love love everything about it! Are you though, planning to go canon and kill him off in the end, or will I have to wait and see? You make my week!
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Heh, well, I don't like to give out spoilers but I'll just say I don't consider DH as part of canon. So that may answer your question...
I went back and reread the last chapter to refresh the story in my brain. It has been a damn long time woman! Come back to the potterverse! We miss you. Im all sorts of confused about H's trouble in potions. Whatever could it be?
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Herms was totally upstaged by Harry in potions that year, on account of Harry having the HBP's potion text. She was pretty po'd about that--but she can't tell Snape or that would ruin Harry's surprise. But I think it's funny that she would be in such a good position to blow Harry's scheme out of the water...
ROFLMAO! Oohhhh noooo. Snape, you silly man. I was afraid something like this would happen. Can wizards and centaur breed with each other?! You really do love torturing Snape. It's a fun kind of torture, though.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
*snerk* It IS fun to torture old Sev. Maybe Voldy thinks so too, I dunno.