15: Silver Linings
Chapter 15 of 47
Fawkes_07Professor Snape has a bit of ?splaining to do.
ReviewedThe fact that Snape did not jump entirely out of his own skin is proof that such a feat is impossible, for if it could be done, he would certainly have accomplished it at that moment.
"Mother of Merlin!" he bellowed.
Hermione's voice immediately took on its normal tone, unlike the low, groggy mumble with which she had uttered his name. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!" He heard a few light thumps and clatters, then she lit her wand, having obviously just retrieved it from his nightstand. "I came down to read, and when you weren't here, I thought I'd just wait." She pointed the beam of light at her own face, as if to prove it was only her, as if anyone besides the two of them ever entered this room. "I had a nice fire going when I lay down for a minute... My goodness, it must be very late!" Now the beam swung out to find him, wild-eyed, panting, and half undressed.
Snape was blinded by the thin beam of wandlight, but he could hear the smile spread across her face. "Not one word, Hermione. Not one." He turned his back coldly and began patting around (with a trace of panic) for that cursed bathrobe.
He heard the rustling of bedclothes Merciful Goddess, she's IN MY BED! and pulled on his nightshirt as she stoked the fire ablaze again. She turned back from the hearth with a warm, sleepy smile and endearingly squashed, lopsided hair.
"Don't be angry, Severus, please," she said. "I'm sorry I startled you so. I should have left, but really, I thought you'd show up any minute. I just fell asleep."
As if I can hold a grudge when you look at me like that. "Hermione... it's late, you shouldn't be here. Now that you have a fire, you should go."
She was looking at him as if mesmerized, giving him a disconcerting feeling that something very strange was going on immediately behind him. "I've never seen you wear anything but black before," she said softly.
The nightshirt. It had once been a beautiful garment, made of unbleached linen. Despite his self-denial, Snape had always loved fine things, and had indulged in the purchase of this nightshirt when he received his first pay from Hogwarts--that is, as a professor, not a spy masquerading as a professor. He'd justified the expenditure by reasoning that he would spend a third of his life wearing it and it was made to last, and it had. Unfortunately, fifteen years of constant use had left it a bit threadbare and misshapen, but it was certainly comfortable--and it was most certainly not black.
Snape felt a bit sheepish. "Believe me, I looked for a black one," he said. "It was either this or stripes." Men's fashions were unfathomable to him.
"You look incredible," she said, in a tone that brooked no argument.
My love... "No. Don't speak of that. Get back to your tower."
Hermione wrinkled her nose disapprovingly. "Spoken like a king banishing the queen for another year."
She stepped toward him slowly, giving him ample time to realize precisely what she had in mind, and that he ought to put a stop to it immediately... and that his vocal cords appeared to be in active rebellion as she was still coming closer and he could say nothing, nothing. She was halfway across the room already. Snape was reminded (out of nowhere) of Xeno's Paradox: that the distance between two points can be cut in half, and halved again and again, and so on infinitely; therefore it was impossible to move the points together as there was always another half-step to take. It was a curious intellectual distraction, and it gave him something guiltless to ponder as she came up and settled against his body, proving decisively that Xeno was all wet.
"Hermione," he whispered, brushing a great many errant curls from the top of her head, to no avail. Like the rest of her, her hair tended to resume whatever course it had decided upon no matter how he might try to intervene. Unlike his stiff, heavy robes, the thin nightshirt did not dull the contours of her face against his chest, nor, he realized with a start, her perceptions of his body. And, cursedly fearless as she was, she took immediate advantage of that fact, her hands tracing unpredictable paths over his back and ribs.
"Hermione!" Snape said sharply, taking half a step back from her. "Don't do this. Not tonight. You have no idea..."
She fixed him with a withering glare. "Oh, come now. What's the matter? It's late, but it's the holidays!"
He closed his eyes, shaking his head in frustration. "I am aware it is the holidays. I am even aware that your roommates have gone home and therefore you won't be missed, no matter how late you return to your room." Or even if you failed to return... stop it already, you lecherous imbecile. "Hermione, you have no idea where I was tonight. This is not the time."
He felt sudden tension snap throughout her entire body, which was not unpleasant in the slightest, but fortunately (?), she reared back to look him in the eye. "Well?" she demanded.
Stepped into that one all on my own, didn't I? Snape sighed. "I believe it's customary at such times to give you three guesses." She responded with an even sharper glare, making him sigh again. She made no protest as he extracted himself and sank wearily into the armchair by the fire, resting his forehead in his hand.
"I was Summoned tonight by the Dark Lord. I was with him some nine hours. You will pardon me for being a bit... disheveled."
He could sense her wide, fearful eyes on him, but did not look at her. He wasn't certain how she would react to the stark reality of his subjugation to the Master, but if there were ever a time for her to flee in rage or horror, it would be this moment. Snape waited silently for her reaction. He had no other choice. When she finally cleared her throat, he braced himself for the worst.
"Did he hurt you?"
Snape was too exhausted and drained from the events of the evening to hide his shock, and bolted upright in the chair. "No," he responded automatically to her question, then received another surprise: she launched herself across the room and into the chair in what looked like a single step, yanking him so tightly into her arms that he had a sudden insight into the last earthly sensations of that firework piglet.
She was crying. He was dumbfounded. "Hermione... dear girl... hush now," he stammered, along with any other endearments he could come up with, stroking her back lightly as his mind reeled. Snape had counted on anger, fear, or disgust; the best reaction he dared hope for was cold anxiety regarding whether the Dark Lord had learned about her. The notion that she would be worried about him had never entered his imagination. He had never seen such a thing before. Well, not true; Albus worries too... but not like this.
He held and soothed her long after her tears were spent, until she began to melt against him like a pat of butter and her breathing slowed and quieted. My love. How many nights had he fallen asleep in this armchair, staring at a good fire until his eyes could no longer stay open? There was nothing (well, perhaps something... down, boy!) he'd rather do at this moment than drift off before the fire, curled up cozily with a good Hermione.
But only tonight. Tomorrow he would depart for the holidays to his house on Spinner's End. Snape had spent a lot of time pondering the fact that Hermione's roommates were gone for the spring break. He was absolutely certain now that she had done the same. If he had any hope of sticking to his decision about waiting until she learned Occlumency, a retreat was not only in order, but rigidly in demand.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Fair Exchanges
909 Reviews | 6.76/10 Average
I've warned you that i will continue to harrass you about finishing this story until my dying day. And i always keep my word. Hope you are still around, that all is well for you, and that this story remains on your eternal to do list.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Sigh. It is. It really is. I need a time machine.
Hello again! I don't know if you are even still around, but reading the rest of this story is on my bucket list, so while I still have breath in me, I shall continue to nudge you toward writing. Hope all is well with you and yours.
SPOILER Warning******In case someone has gone this many years without getting through the last book in the series****************************I hope this new turn in their relationship keeps her from wishing she could just hold hands with someone and walk around the lake. She's had a man now. I can't imagine, at least I hope she doesn't go back to boys. What are you going to do about the Ron thing? She can't go with Ron now. It would would be too mean to Severus! I hope she understands when Albus is killed. Poor Severus! There. Again I'm saying it! I don't mind his sacrifices if I know he will be rewarded with the love he deserves for what he has had to pay to rid the world of Tom Riddle. I hope you work this out so that he doesn't suffer at the end and you'd better not kill him off like the witch who kills small beloved pets like owls, and sweet dear magical creatures like house elves protecting their loved one, cruelly rends twins assunder with one on this side alone without his other half and the other one on the opposite side of the vale tellikng jokes without punch lines! Please tell me you will not follow that part of cannon. You are already forcing Severus to do things I don't know if Hermione can forgive him for. She must forgive him though.When are you going to work on this story some more? Do you know? Are you planing to finish this story or did the last cannon book kill your joy when she killed off our Potions Master in an incredibly un-Severus Snap like end. ....As if the Potions Master of all masters wouldn't have antivenin.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
You know, it's funny... DH actually kind of DID kill off a lot of my motivation to keep writing fanfic, even though I never really thought of it that way until just now. I wrote my own Book 7 for my kids--HP and the Heirs of Slytherin, it's here on TPP--starting in about 2006, just because I KNEW JKR was going to blow it. I just knew I wouldn't like her book 7. A lot of these fics kind of spun off during the process of writing HoS, including Fair Exchanges. HoS has a lot of legilimency/occlumency in it, and Hermione asks Harry not to look at her dreams. That sparked this story... Anyway, once I finished HoS, I kinda moved on to other projects and my unfinished fics have been sort of waiting on the vine for me. I know how they all end, and some of them are just a few chapters from complete. But part of the trouble with Fair Exchanges is that I hate DH so much I have no desire to read it carefully enough to make Fair Ex canon-compliant. It can't even be HoS compliant, because my alt. universe has even more trouble ahead for Snape. If it's any comfort, though, the last two chapters of this story were written LONG ago, and it wraps up the story in a way I really liked. I posted them on some other ff sites, if you want to go hunting for them. I kept them off TPP, though, because I wanted to post the whole thing properly here.
She is being a normal girl, unfortunately for Severus. Severus Snape requires a remarkable woman. Strong, forgiving, able to make her own happiness most of the time and able to consistantly see past the Death Eater Double Spy. He needssomeone who wants him especially because he isn't like any other man on earth. And he needs someone older than Hermione. I would be thinking just exactly what she is thinking. He is looking for a life time commitment. She just isn't there yet. I don't se how this can end well for either of them unless you figure out a way to turn cannon around soon. I hate the way things turned out in the cannon. She ruined everything! I can't stand it. I hope you can salvage this back story so that it comes out much better than the original. Severus deserves better. I hate feeling sorry for Snape, damn it! I want him to show them all. I want him to end up with the best end of any stick.
Poor Severus. I wish she'd run off to Polynesia with him. I hope she's worth it in the end. She has no real idea what he faces here. They are living in the moment when they see each other. He knows more about her than she knows about him. There is so much more to him than there is to Hermione at this point in her life. How old is she, 15 or 16? Well, at least he can have someone pure. I hope she never asks about his other lovers. I don't think she is ready for the answer. I'm not sure I'd be ready for the Centaura. And we know that in his youth he willingly committed rape in this story, though he reqrets it now. I don't know that Hermione could really handle that knowledge. She might be able to handle the idea that he had possibly been forced to do it, but not with certainty that he had ever willingly done it. He's so screwed is she ever finds out all the things he has to do, unless she is a very unusual individual and not very judgemental. I hope for his sake she is as remarkable as he thinks she is.
Hello! I think Draco just passed out! What do you do with this lie. How to explain that 2 men who appeared to absolutely despise one another were lovers on the low down. Would Draco even fall for that? I don't think he has been present at the OP meetings to observed the apparent mutual hatred. Draco doesn't know how much the murrauders stalked and abused poor Severus. Maybe he'll fall fore it. Poor boy wil be manipulated by the Uncle he trustes. That must taste like shit to Severus.
And Hermione can't know about Draco! She would not understand.
Severus Snape is the most adept spie of all the world if he pulls this off. He must feel like he can never get clean from lying regulary to those few who trust him, beastiality, cheeting on his overly homornal girlfriend that he shouldn't be with, but amazingly they actually love each other and trust each other. Now, add buggery in order to manipulate his godson. He must keep Hermione and Draco apart. And what would the dark lord or Albus Dumblebutt have to say about all of this distasteful activity. Dude, when this is all over you are going to need some serious counceling!
OK. What should he do now? I say, let the twirp kiss you so that you can get on his good side and find out his secrets. Hey! It's a dog eat dog world out there right now. Just hope that Hermione doens't find out you cheated on her with 4 Centaras and her worst enemy at the school and all in the same week. It's a fine edge you tread, poor Severus. I actually feel sorry for you.
Lucky in many ways it seems, our Severus. The Dark Lord needed a laugh. Oooooo, let a name slip in there that starts with an H. So who actually rescued the toad in the forest after all? Make up any answer you like. I had assumed it was Albus. But why he would bother is beyond me. Does Severus have to go back to fetch her?
So! Our dear potions master is hung like a stallion! Well of couse he is! Those naughty girls. It's a good thing Hermione doesn't know. And, isn't he terrified of being caught in the act by the stallions while making love to the mares? I'm sure they would kill him. I'm glad he gets some small reward for his hard work protecting Harry. It really is too bad they didn't kill Umbridge. I know Jkr needs her later in the story. I hope she has permanent damage though.
There's no way that will happen under these circumstances. I don't believe it. Girls need a mood or something to get then started.
Don't worry Hermione, dear. After you've been married for more than 3 decades you actually will grow together down there from lack of use. You see, the little man is victim to depression, high blood pressure, diabetes and sundry medications for said infirmities, but eventually this will only spark a sense of resigned bitterness. Dreams though few and far between will be a welcomed relief. So cry no more dear girl and by the gods grab him while you can! Perhaps in your world magic will make these things not so. If that is the case, get over it you silly girl. He must truly be desperate to put up with this. You all must be. I was quite emotional the first 20 years. It was dreadful! Now I am resigned to the fact that what ever you were fighting about the first 2 years are the same things you will be fighting about in 10 years until eventually you just look at him and shake your head. Put up with it or try to train a new one. Here is the most important thing you will ever know. They cannot be trained. Don't waste your time.
I love, "like a raisin through a guinea pig"! I take it you speak from experience based on your picture of Mr. Flibbert, I believe his name was. One of the things that annoyed the hell out of me in the movie version of TGoF was the hormonal Hermione whining and bitching in her high pitched self righteous girl BS. I think she was pissed off just like in this chapter for the entire movie. I realize it is true to life but it is still annoying. I have two drama queens of my own and it doesn't get better when they grow up. I am grateful for grandsons. They are loud and every game requires growling and yelling and running in the house, not to mention accidentally bumping into each other on purpose etc. but I am looking forward to much less drama as when they reach puberty. I look also look forward to Hermione in this story finishing her O.L.W.S. I'm hyper-sensitive from PTSD after raising two daughters.
Here it is 2014 and still no end in sight. Please finish this, it is too good and to frustrating to stop here,
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Sigh... I know. I really would like to finish it someday. Too many projects, not enough time!
You do know that as long as this story sits unfinished, I am going to pop in periodically and bug you, right? Now I am not pressuring you. I know that real life can be a bitch. All I'm saying is that I probably have a good fifty years left in me, and I am going to continue to encourage you until I take my last breath. Oh, but please don't wait that long as I do want to read the end, lol.
Hi Fawkes_07, I have enjoyed this so much! It is of course beautifully written and plotted. I think you've captured all the characters quite well. The sense of humor in this story is wonderful and was a great surprise. Love the interactions between H and Severus, and also between Severus & Draco. I see that it has been some years since you've updated. Please, please don't abandon this story! Happy writing!
Ah, I remember following this story every week. It's a shame RL got in the way and it's gone 3 years-ish without an update. I hope you're doing well and come back to it some day. Thank you for the wonderful half-fic, for what it's worth :)
What the what?? I followed you over from MNFF to see what I'd missed, holy mess!!!! I LOVE this story, it constantly shocks me!!
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
LOL, yeah, MNFF had an issue with the human/centaur thing. Glad you're enjoying it... I hope to finish it someday if I ever get my life back.
wow, this story just gets creepier and creepier, in the most interesting and hilarious way possible. this has to be the best story i have ever read on any fanfiction site. u are an awesome writer; i have never laughed this much at a story. i now see why mnff just couldnt bear it, lol, way too many disturbing things. i just got used to the thought of draco being a sex god in other stories, now u make him gay! bwahahaha, talk about a monkeywrench. im sad snape gave that 16-year-old release to the mares. i wished my girl hermione had gotten a piece of that. now that would have been fun to read and write, im sure, hehe. again, u are brilliant!
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
<laughs> Wow, glad you're enjoying it! Yeah, MNFF drew the line at the "bestiality" elements (though they don't seem to mind human/werewolf and human/veela). Eh, whatever.Hadn't thought of the 16-year gap ending with the ponies... I guess this is sort of a tragic story, huh?
More Please!?!?!? I so like how this story is going. Love the HG/SS relationship. I so can not wait for more.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Sigh... I know. I really do intend to finish it, and the funniest stuff is yet to come. You just would not believe the times I've had the past couple years--broken ribs, my mom passed away, a new nonprofit opened in town and begged me to write their grants... I don't even READ fanfic any more, much less write it. But someday things will settle down.
I tried to read this story when I was 16 years of age, back then I could barely read English (not my first language) and I had to consult the dictionary every 3 minutes or so but I do remember little bits of it... This amazing first chapter for example. It's so well written and so true to the characters. It's a pleasure to be able to read it again.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Wow! That's so cool! I'm glad you liked it well enough to come back to it! Thanks!
Aww, Snape's going to be a father. *snickers*
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Not after he gets that potion ready...
The age of consent in the UK is 16 not to mention the use of the Time-Turner so she's actually almost two years older than her peers. She could've consented before.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Hmm, I suppose so. But she used the date to such a fine advantage... had to go with it.
You are a wonderful writer, and I always look forward to reading more of your story. This is byfar my favorite Snape/Hermione fanfic ever. I thank you soooo much for updating! I love love love everything about it! Are you though, planning to go canon and kill him off in the end, or will I have to wait and see? You make my week!
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Heh, well, I don't like to give out spoilers but I'll just say I don't consider DH as part of canon. So that may answer your question...
I went back and reread the last chapter to refresh the story in my brain. It has been a damn long time woman! Come back to the potterverse! We miss you. Im all sorts of confused about H's trouble in potions. Whatever could it be?
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
Herms was totally upstaged by Harry in potions that year, on account of Harry having the HBP's potion text. She was pretty po'd about that--but she can't tell Snape or that would ruin Harry's surprise. But I think it's funny that she would be in such a good position to blow Harry's scheme out of the water...
ROFLMAO! Oohhhh noooo. Snape, you silly man. I was afraid something like this would happen. Can wizards and centaur breed with each other?! You really do love torturing Snape. It's a fun kind of torture, though.
Response from Fawkes_07 (Author of Fair Exchanges)
*snerk* It IS fun to torture old Sev. Maybe Voldy thinks so too, I dunno.