31: Visiting Godric's Hollow

Chapter 31: Visiting Godric's Hollow

The morning after the trio moved to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Remus joined them for breakfast. Having decided they wanted Dobby to focus mainly on finishing the household cleanup, and since their previous housekeeping arrangements had worked quite well, they decided to continue with them, so Harry was standing at the stove, manning the bacon and eggs. Hermione had toasted up a stack of bread, and Ron set the table.

"I guess you still want to see Godric's Hollow then?" Remus asked when he was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee.

"Course," Ron said around a mouthful of toast. He swallowed his food, then continued, "We've been meaning to go since school got out."

"Thanks for agreeing to take us," Hermione said with a nod. Though Remus had helped her with warding her parent's house a few days earlier, he managed to avoid speaking to her directly most of the time. He hadn't made eye-contact with her since their discussion about Severus, and his attitude was really starting to irritate her. "We know how busy you are." Her words would have been perfectly polite if she hadn't emphasized 'busy' a bit more than the others, alluding to their discussion outside the tent.

Remus finally met her gaze, and though he said nothing about her comment, Hermione knew he caught her point. He gave a slight nod in her direction. "Someone probably should have taken Harry there years ago. Who better than me?"

"I'm sure you would have if I'd thought to ask earlier." Harry brought over the pan of eggs he had finished cooking.

The conversation turned to other subjects while they ate. Though Hermione felt Remus's eyes on her several times during the meal, there were no more allusions to their private conversations.

When breakfast was cleaned up, Harry turned to Remus. "So how are we getting there?"

"Since none of you have been there before, and Harry's still slightly too young to Apparate, I procured a Portkey." Remus pulled a glove from his pocket.

Ron's eye widened. "I thought they were supposed to be hard to get a hold of."

"Yeah, well, keep it to yourselves, all right? It's not exactly sanctioned, but it's too close to the full moon for me to do side-along Apparition with Harry, and there isn't a nearby Floo connection." Remus made the comment matter-of-factly, as though carrying around illegal Portkeys were a matter of course.

Once a Marauder, always a Marauder. Hermione smiled despite herself. She supposed members of the Order of the Phoenix tended to blur the edges of the law to do their jobs sometimes, so she shouldn't be surprised. "Let's go to it then."

They gathered around the old glove, each of them taking a finger, and Remus activated the Portkey. Hermione felt the familiar yank behind her navel and the whirling, bumping and spinning this type of travel was known for.

After a long moment the group landed with a lurch in a copse of trees. Hermione felt her stomach turn over in complaint, then begin to settle down. She rubbed her side where Ron had jabbed her with an elbow in the maelstrom.

"Bloody hell," Ron said rubbing his entire right arm and staring at her. "What was that?"

"What was what?" Harry asked.

"I ran into Hermione and got blasted with this surge of power. Weirdest thing that's ever happened to me traveling Portkey."

Remus lifted in eyebrow at Hermione as if to say, 'don't they know?'

She shook her head slightly in response, and he rolled his eyes at her, but it was clear he was amused. "Sorry, Ron, didn't mean to do that. I hate Portkey travel. Good thing Harry's taking his Apparition test tomorrow." She rubbed her side again. "You need to watch those elbows." Her other arm was a bit sore as well from where Harry had bumped into her during their journey, but as he had no romantic interest in her, he hadn't been affected by Severus's spell. She decided to consider the results more later.

A glance at Harry showed him pale, his eyes riveted on something behind her. Hermione turned and saw the charred remnants of a foundation. Plants and vines had begun to grow through the cracks in the cement and the rubble had been hauled off, but there was no question in her mind that it was what remained of the Potter home.

"There was more left after . . . well, after," Remus said as they walked over. "But some Death Eaters came back a few weeks later, angry I suppose, and burned what remained of the home to the ground. Eventually we had the rubble hauled off."

Harry walked slowly over to the crumbling cement wall of the basement and almost reverently placed a hand on it. Silence seemed to have descended around them, only punctuated by the occasional bird warbling.

Harry's eyes watered up, but no tears fell as the others lined up beside him. A sense of solidarity flowed between them. Then Harry turned and followed the line of the foundation. "Do you remember the layout?" he asked Remus.

Only Remus' voice and the sound of their footfalls through the deep verdure disturbed the silence as they continued their way around the house. Remus described the upstairs, main floor and basement layout as well as he could. Then he detailed the way Lily had decorated: the bowls and vases of flowers she scattered around the house, the many pictures crowded together on the living room wall...both Muggle and wizarding variety intermixed...the loving way she planned the nursery when she learned she was pregnant.

Tears flowed from all of them now and were silently wiped away as they all mourned the lost opportunities, the love and happiness Harry would have felt if James and Lily had lived. Hermione felt a lump form in her throat, then wondered if Harry would have been half the man he was today if he hadn't been forced to live without his parents. Would he have turned into the kind of arrogant prat his father was in school, or would he have learned the compassion of his mother? Would he be as determined to make something of his life, even if the only gift he could give the world was Voldemort's death, or would he have grown complacent in a loving, wealthy home?

There were too many variables to be able to deduce. The possibilities would have taxed the capabilities of the most accomplished Arithmancy master, so Hermione set them aside.

When they finished walking the perimeter of the house, Remus turned and headed down a little path that curved between trees and around boulders, down a hill and past a small stream, leading to a flat plot of grass with white and gray headstones dotting an area the size of a Quidditch pitch.

"I haven't been here for a couple years," Remus apologized as he walked to the right and began scanning headstones a few rows in. "I know they're buried near here."

After a moment he came to stand in front of a large gray headstone with both Potter names listed on it. Their birth and death dates preceded the words Together in life, together forever.

Harry fell to his knees and ran a hand over the words on the stone, tears pouring down his cheeks. Remus settled a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze, then motioned for Ron and Hermione to step back with him and leave Harry in privacy.

They watched him from a hundred feet back for a long moment, then Ron wandered off, weaving between the headstones, stopping to read one every so often. Hermione understood his need to move, to do something more than stand and watch Harry's pain. She could see Harry's lips moving. He was speaking to his parents, and she could imagine what he was saying and wondered if she was even partially right about the way he felt, the things he wished he knew.

Her eyes welled with tears again and she had to blink them back.

When Ron was sufficiently far away, Remus turned to her. "We need to talk about the situation we discussed the other day, but cannot speak freely, not even here." His voice was carefully modulated, his words chosen so if someone did happen to overhear them, they wouldn't understand the context.

Hermione lifted a brow. This was the first private moment they had together since she told him about the vow the Headmaster had required of Severus. She had hoped he would try and speak with her today, though she hadn't expected privacy to be handed to them on a platter, as it had. "That is not unexpected."

He nodded. "Tonks and I were discussing the situation..."

Slashing a hand through the air, Hermione cut him off. "I did not authorize you to discuss it with Tonks."

He let out a huff of irritation. "I didn't give her certain pertinent details. She is only aware of general items. But she agrees with me that something specific needs to be done to ensure that the information we are gathering remains accurate and complete. After events of this spring, you can understand why we are concerned. The pressure for me to divulge my source is growing."

"Yes, yes. Of course I understand. I had plenty of concerns of my own and made sure to clear them up post-haste. But Remus, they aren't going to trust once they know the truth. Most won't listen to the truth anyway, not if they know the source."

"That's why we felt it necessary to require the same assurances that the Headmaster asked for. With an audience this time."

It took only a moment for Hermione to understand what he meant. An Unbreakable Vow. A shiver traveled down Hermione's spine at the thought. "I don't know if that's acceptable. Dumbledore was one thing, one of you lot is another."

Remus pushed the hair from his face and glanced around to verify the location of both boys. "That was why both Tonks and I thought compliance was most likely if you took the Headmaster's role, rather than someone else. You are already filling it in this situation in nearly every other way."

"Me?" The thought had merit. She hated the position it would put her in, but realized instinctively that it was their best option. She had Severus' best interest in mind, wouldn't trample on his personal space...indeed, he had so little personal space where she was involved that it would hardly be more imposition than he was already under. And it might provide protection for him both from angry Order members and the eventual court case, should they fail to get away safely. If the other members knew of his role in the war, perhaps she could get enough support to keep him from life in Azkaban.

Hermione couldn't imagine how they would manage if he went to Azkaban, how she would survive if she couldn't prove he was goaded into slaying the Headmaster from several directions. Then again, leaving behind her home and family to make a new name for themselves on the other end of the planet wasn't hugely appealing either. As far as the three mostly likely options: death, Azkaban...leading to a slow, lingering madness and into death, and moving to Tahiti, the third was the best, but . . . there were no good options at this point, better not to spend too much time dwelling on them.

"I'll make the suggestion and see where things go," she finally said. "We'll be working on a project tonight, but a few days may be required to consider your suggestion."

He nodded, and as Ron was making his way back over to them, they turned the subject. A few minutes more and Harry walked back over to them, his face red, his eyes bloodshot.

"Hey," Hermione said when he came over, then reached out and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back tightly, burying his face in the crook of her neck for a long moment.

When he pulled back, he wore a new look of determination. He turned to Remus. "So, are the property boundaries pretty much just the fenced area around the house then?"

Remus shook his head. "No, you own everything to the west of the cemetery, at least fifty acres. I'm not sure of the exact boundaries, but we could get a plot plan or something for you, if you'd like."

"I'd appreciate it," Harry said. "Do you have a general idea you can show me?"

After they finished up at the house, Remus pulled out the Portkey, again and they arrived in the copse of trees in the park across the street from Order Headquarters.

"Why didn't we reappear at Headquarters?" Ron asked.

"Only the secret keeper can make a Portkey arriving there, and that person didn't make this one. I have some things to take care of, but I'll see you kids in a few days. Be careful, especially now that Harry is," Remus checked his watch and smiled, "eleven hours from adulthood. Voldemort will be getting more and more anxious to force a confrontation."

"And we're not quite ready for that yet," Harry said. "But we're working on it. We'll be careful. Promise."

Remus said goodbye and Disapparated. The other three stood for a moment in the clearing, looking at each other.

"So what did you think? Fifty acres ought to have space enough," Harry said.

"I'd say so. I was thinking about popping back there and taking a little flight, checking out the area to see if there's one spot that's better than the others. Something large enough, but well sheltered." Hermione wondered how they would take her offer.

Ron started to protest, but Harry nodded. "She's right, she can cover the area in no time. If we finished our, er, Transfiguration projects, we might have gone too, but as we haven't . . . ."

Glad that Harry was being sensible about this, Hermione nodded. "I'll meet you back in the house in fifteen minutes or so."

"I don't know. I don't want you running around here alone." Harry put a restraining hand on her arm. "What if Snape remembers the area that Headquarters was in? He could be skulking around here."

"Harry, that's not possible. Don't you remember what it was like before they told us the location again? I knew it was in this section of London, but the area I knew about was huge. There's no way Snape could pinpoint this neighborhood." It frustrated her that she couldn't tell him Severus was innocent...well, not exactly innocent, she supposed, but not the evil, foul traitor that he thought of. Then again with Remus' request, maybe that day would be coming sooner than she thought.

All of the maneuvering and secrets were giving her a headache.

"You never know, Hermione," Ron reached out to touch her shoulder, then backed off with a short yell of pain. "Bloody hell, what's going on here? First you shock me when we're Portkeying, and again now." He shook his hand and stared at her. He stared at Harry, who was still touching her. "Didn't you feel anything mate?"

"No, nothing."

Maybe a migraine, rather than a normal headache. Hermione pinched the skin on the bridge of her nose. "Let me go check things out, then I'll meet you back at Headquarters. I promise you'll get a full explanation at that time."

"I want to know now!" Ron crossed his arms over his chest and snarled at her.

"After I check out the property. I promise, Ron, I'll tell you everything I can."

"Everything you want to tell, not everything you know."

"Give it up, Ron, we know she 'can't' tell us everything going on. It's complicated." This last bit was just tad sarcastic and had Hermione wanting to snap at Harry.

"Yes it is. I'll meet you at Headquarters in fifteen minutes tops. I promise." Not wanting to deal with anything else, she popped back to the copse of trees they had left only a few minutes earlier. Hermione put her head in her hands for a few seconds and took some long, deep breaths to calm herself before changing to her starling form and flying above the tree tops.

In this form she could understand all of the bird calls around her, understand the story the wind was trying to tell, the moods of the sun. Maybe those last two were mostly fantasy, but she felt one with nature in this form, like she belonged in the sky.

While she enjoyed the first few minutes of freedom, however, she didn't stop paying attention to her surroundings. Being a small bird had its own set of drawbacks. She was in danger to large birds of prey, and if she landed, she could be hunted by smaller scavengers like fox and cats. Still, she stretched out the first few minutes of her time swooping and reeling through the air.

After she felt her tension released somewhat, Hermione circled a bit higher and took a good look at the land below her. In only a moment she located the foundation for the old home, then flew out to the cemetery. Using her memory of the guidelines Remus gave her for the property, she figured the basic property lines. She flew a bit lower over the area to see it more closely. The acreage had a good amount of woods on it, but several large, open spaces as well.

She swooped down in a few clearings, circling them at three feet from the ground to check for visibility. She discounted the first spot because it was too near the property line. A second because she could see a bit of a road through the trees, and she didn't know what kind of light or explosion might result from the spell they were using on the Horcrux. The third was entirely too small for their purposes, and the fourth lay near a small stream and was marshy.

Finally she reached a spot that looked perfect. She took a quick fly around the area, checking ground conditions, foliage thickness, size. Then Hermione transformed back into her own shape and walked around a bit. The spot was near the middle of the fifty acres, the most remote place she could find and well insulated from curious eyes. They would place some Muggle-repelling charms first, of course. Deciding that, she cast a few on the spot so they would have time to warn off anyone in the area. The pasture grass was growing well, but still didn't reach her knees, so it wouldn't be too long. She settled her hands on her hips and nodded. This was it. Then she focused and Apparated back to Grimmauld Place.

*****

Harry and Ron were waiting not-so-patiently when she arrived back at Headquarters. They each had a butterbeer open in their hands and lounged on the library sofa eating sandwiches. Ron's face was hard, his eyes searching her face as she appeared in the door. Harry tipped his bottle toward the third, unopened bottle sitting beside a plate with a sandwich for her on a table by her preferred chair. "So what's the word? You were a little longer than we expected."

"It took a few minutes, but I found just the spot." She took a few minutes to describe the location and setting. Harry and Ron fired off the list of requirements they had come up with, and it seemed to fit far better than anywhere else they had considered. It was very nearly perfect. "And since you already own the property, there's no one's permission to gather."

"Right. We can run over in a bit and do it. I want to get it over with." Harry took a drink of his soda. "Ron's right: it's creepy carrying this thing around. When it's done I'll get Bill to put the locket in my vault for now."

Hermione took her first bite of sandwich and nodded. She would probably be a few minutes late to meet with Severus, but he would understand. Their appointments were rather fluid, and the next steps in the potion didn't have to be done until this evening. The ham and cheese sandwich was dry, and she peeled up the bread to see Ron had left off most of the mayonnaise and all of the mustard. After considering getting up and fixing the sandwich...he obviously was trying to annoy her...she decided it wasn't worth the effort. Though it would at least postpone the hassle of explaining the shocks Ron kept getting.

"Well, you said we'd get a full explanation. Or something similar to it." Ron dangled the butter beer bottle from his fingers, glowering at her.

Where to begin? "When I went to visit my soul mate the other day, he noticed I had a few bruises on my arm. One of the Order members got upset about my soul mate and my keeping him a secret and had grabbed me harder than they planned on. This made my soul mate very angry, and when I refused to tell him who had done it, he cast a spell on me. It's a protection spell that works several ways. First, if anyone tries to harm me physically, either intentionally, or in the heat of the moment, they will get zapped."

"I wasn't mad at you," Ron said. "And I wasn't hurting you."

Hermione licked her lips, her mouth seemed strangely dry all of the sudden. This was an incredibly awkward conversation. Harry sat back, curious, but more detached than anything, while Ron visibly worked to keep his anger tied. "No, it also works that way on anyone who is attracted to me. Call it his little reminder that I'm off limits, I guess."

She let out a little laugh, but it sounded forced and hollow, even to her ears. "It has nothing to do with your intentions, only your attraction. If you were to get involved with someone else, and your feelings grew platonic again, the phenomenon should go away. That's why Harry wasn't affected, because he feels nothing for me but friendship."

"So I can't share a friendly hug with you unless I want to get zapped? What kind of bloke is this? That spell sounds almost dark. I've never heard of anything like it. I think it's time you told us who he is, Hermione."

She let out a huff of frustration. "I can't tell you who it is. The spell is Greek, and I didn't understand the words, but as he isn't coercing me into anything, I'd hardly call it dark."

"I imagine he can still touch you."

"Of course he can, he's my soul mate. We'd both go mad if we couldn't touch each other." Ron's face hardened and Hermione set aside the remainder of her sandwich, she wasn't hungry anymore. "You really have to get over this Ron. I'm sorry things didn't work out the way you wanted them to. I care about you, but we can't keep up with this never-ending battle. Just as I start to think you're getting over it, moving on and accepting that you and I are never going to be more than friends, you start up on this again. Don't you get it? This isn't only hurting you and me, it affects your family, Harry, and everyone else when you act like this."

"Fine, just shove all the blame off on me, as if it were my fault." Ron stood and clenched his hand in fists at his side.

Unwilling to be towered over when they were arguing, Hermione stood as well. He still had several inches on her, but they were closer, at least. "It is your fault. Grow up Ron. Just grow up. I want to leave things the way they were between us before Dumbledore died. We were friends, we got on fine and we sometimes went out with other people. I hate being at odds with you and Harry, and you agreed we need to work together."

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to have someone you love flaunt their relationship with someone else in your face?"

"I do seem to remember watching you snogging Lavender in the middle of the common room for several months last spring...I don't know how this could be worse since you've never seen me with him and I don't bring him up in casual conversation. But you don't love me now any more than I loved you then."

She saw him begin to protest and cut him off, lifting her voice a bit more in volume. "No, Ron, you don't love me, not like that. You love me as a friend, but not as a lover. I was convenient and we always thought we'd get together. It's not the same. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time accepting it." This last she said with a low voice. She was sorry, in more ways than one. Sorry for him, sorry for herself, sorry all the way around...well, not sorry about her love for Severus, but for everything else.

She rubbed her temples, the headache her flight had cured now returning. "Can we get through this Horcrux destruction today? Then I'll spend the night elsewhere while you take a break."

"You'll spend it with him." It was an accusation dripping with venom.

She didn't bother to answer, denying it would be stupid since she had been planning to see Severus all day, and agreeing would only add fuel to the fire.

Then he had to take things altogether too far. He stepped up until he was less than a foot away from her. "You're nothing but his whore!"

Fury took over her and she shoved him away from her. Not thinking, too angry to consider, she rubbed her ring with her thumb, saying the charm to reveal the ring. "I'm not his whore. I'm his wife. You were still too chicken to break up with Lavender when I married him in March, so don't start on me."

Ron looked up in shock from where he lay sprawled on the floor, all color draining from his face. "You're . . .you married him?"

Angry with herself for getting out of control, for sharing her secret, more angry with him for pushing her so far, she turned away and looked at Harry's shocked face. "I told you my situation was different than yours. I can't take this today, I'm sorry. I'll see you back at the Weasleys' tomorrow after your test; we'll set things up afterward. That's if this arse has the decency to apologize by then."

She stalked off, slamming the front door behind her, and knowing with pleasure that Mrs. Black would be yelling her head off by now. Already cursing herself for her revelation, she cast a variation of her secret spell. No matter how many people asked, Harry and Ron wouldn't be able to speak of her revelation in another person's hearing, whether they knew the person was there or not. This was beginning to get completely out of control.

She closed her eyes and Apparated to the cottage.

_________

AN: Thanks to my beta, countrymouse, and to RobisonRocket for catching my errors.

I received some flack from readers when they got to this last bit, and I seriously considered changing what Ron said, but I just couldn't. I don't think Ron would really believe something like that about Hermione, but he isn't known for being terribly level-headed, and I think he's feeling horribly jealous and confused, so he's being a total prat. Can't be helped. Won't last forever.