22: Making Memories

Chapter 22: Making Memories

Hermione woke in her husband's arms to the sound of bird song. It took only a moment for her to determine Severus was already awake. As he didn't say anything, she decided to enjoy his embrace in the silence for another few minutes.

It never ceased to amaze her that being in this man's arms made her feel utterly safe, utterly cherished...even when he fought the enchantment on them both. She rubbed her cheek over his chest, loving the feel of the crisp hairs moving against her skin.

"Ready to face the day?" His voice was low, rough from sleep, and his chest rumbled beneath her fingertips.

"Not remotely, but I suppose we can't stay here forever."

"No matter how we might wish it." One of his arms swept possessively along her back, but he made no move to extricate himself.

Another long moment hummed between them before she spoke, "I was wondering..."

"Of course you were."

She pinched his chest lightly in rebuke. "You were creating your own spells from scratch when you were still a student, right?" She didn't wait for him to respond, as she already knew the answer. "How much theory did you have to study before you were able to do that? And do you still create your own spells?"

"A lot of the theory is not covered in the Hogwarts curriculum until seventh year. Even then they don't cover enough for really complex spells. I did most of my study on my own time during fifth year. And yes, I do occasionally create my own spells still. Is there something in particular you want to create? What you need may already exist."

Hermione bit her lip as she considered what she should tell him. She didn't want to cause any trouble for him, but there was no one else she knew who was so suited to her question. She didn't realize she had been stroking his chest with her fingertips until he put his hand over hers.

"You'd better stop that if you wish to continue this conversation," he warned.

"Oh, sorry." She paused to thread her fingers through his. "Well, suppose I wanted a spell that could use a blood bond, or rather, shared blood to transfer an emotion from one person to the next. Would something like that already exist? If not, what would it take to create something like that?" She figured he might guess where she was going with this, but she didn't say right out what her purpose was. She knew he wouldn't ask.

There was a long pause before he answered. "I doubt such a spell is in existence. After all, why would someone normally want to do that, especially as it's a rather unique set of circumstances? Something along that line might be possible. I'll have to consider it."

"One other spell I was thinking about was maybe finding a way to harness a specific emotion of those around them. To magnify it, then direct it. Specifically through the bond. But maybe that would be just one spell, not two." Hermione licked her lips, but as her cheek was pressed so closely on his chest, she caught the tangy, sweet, salty flavor of his skin on her tongue. She felt a slight peak in desire from both of them.

"I imagine it's a particular emotion you're seeking to magnify. Something very specific? Those are both going to be incredibly complex spells to create, but I think they're possible. I could play around with them for you, see if it's better to run them side by side or together as one. Should I focus on hate?"

Hermione wondered if he were playing devil's advocate or if he was thinking about Harry needing to hate Voldemort to cast the killing curse. She was unable to determine his emotional response to her question as he had begun stroking her back with his long, skilled fingers, which distracted her.

"I was thinking of something a bit more positive. Hope, determination, but I suppose you could hypothesize using love as the basis."

His fingers stilled on her skin, and she knew she had caught him off guard. Several seconds passed as he seemed to be trying to figure out why she would need a spell like that. "I could. It might be hard to try out as there is little love between Wormtail and myself. I'd have to work on it in my spare time. On a scale of one to ten, how important is this spell to you?"

"Twelve. It could be pivotal."

She sensed his confusion. "All right. Are these spells to be used independently, or in tandem? Who casts them, the recipient, the person sending the emotion or a third party? There are many variables I need to understand."

Biting her lip, Hermione looked him in the eye. "How much do you need to know? How much do you feel it is safe to know?"

"It might be safer if I didn't know what I was creating, but then, it would be far more difficult to make the spell succeed if I don't understand the intended application."

Harry would be livid when he knew she had brought Severus into so many aspects of the fight, but Severus was completely right. He would need to know nearly everything. And she had some questions about destroying the Horcruxes. She took a deep breath and began explaining.

When he had a clear idea of what she needed for the spells, Hermione began asking general questions about the process of destroying a Horcrux without destroying the object itself. They never spoke of what the end goal was, but danced around the edges of the subject for some time. It was amazing that they could have an entire discussion on the subject without bringing up the word Horcrux once. Hermione gleaned a great deal of information while asking hypothetical questions about theoretical events. He pretended to not understand what she was referring to as he answered her questions, but from the detail of the answers she knew he understood it perfectly.

"And now," he said when the topic was played out, "we need to let the Dark Lord know I've finally manipulated you back into my pocket."

"You have a pocket?" She ran her fingers along his bare skin in a manner she now knew would tickle horribly. "Where is it?"

His hand stopped hers when she felt his sides twitch from being tickled, and she looked up into his eyes, smirking. "I was convinced some time ago, in case you've forgotten."

"But the Dark Lord doesn't know it. And we have to make it look as though I've been trying to convince you, manipulate you into believing me despite everything that has happened...without telling you much of the truth."

"Particularly since manipulating, by definition, includes the use of lies, or the twisting of truths until they look like something else entirely. What did you have in mind?"

Severus filled her in on the general idea, and Hermione added a suggestion or two. When they had finalized their plans, both dressed, and Severus made it look as though it was evening in the room instead of several hours past daybreak.

Hermione stepped outside the door, took a deep breath, then knocked timidly on the front cottage door. When Severus opened the door a moment later, she noticed he had returned the furnishings to perfect organization. She bit her lip and hesitated before greeting him. "Hello, Severus."

"Hello, my pet." He took her hand and drew her into the room. Hermione followed, filling her face with both excitement to see him and hesitation as she remembered their first post-Hogwarts meeting. This time, instead of swooping down on her immediately, however, he sat her on the nearby loveseat. This was to be a carefully choreographed seduction.

She fidgeted a bit, then looked him in the face. "I want to believe in you, Severus, but I'm not sure I can. You k...killed him. Please help me understand."

He knelt before her on both knees and took her hands in his. Hermione knew he was already in acting mode...she couldn't imagine him debasing himself so much in real life. Then again, if he were working to manipulate her, she supposed he might do so. "My pet, you know I've been spying for Dumbledore for years. Since before you were born. He knew about the vow I made to Narcissa. I told him, and he made me promise to follow through. He felt his spy was necessary to the eventual overthrow of the Dark Lord."

Hermione managed to look confused and infused her voice with a thread of doubt. "But why would he want to die? How can I believe you? He was just a man; maybe you tricked him. After all, he didn't know about the Dark Lord being in Quirrell's turban in my first year. He wasn't infallible."

Severus let out a low chuckle. "Of course he knew about Quirrell, my pet. Dumbledore was always one to keep his enemies close so he could keep an eye on them. If he had Quirrell in the school, he could monitor his activities. You may have noticed that I kept a close eye on him that year."

It was a skillful blend of truth and lies; Hermione knew what was true and what was not, both because she knew the truth and because the bond made it clear. And she wondered, if she hadn't felt this inner confirmation from him, would she have known what was true, or what was not with a man like this? "Really? I mean, Professor Dumbledore knew all that time?" She did her best to sound awed and dumbfounded.

Her let out a low rumble of silky laughter that would have turned her into a puddle of lust if it didn't have such a cold edge to it. "Of course. Didn't you say Dumbledore made some cryptic remarks about my trustworthiness?"

"Well, yes. Of course. But you know how he was. He always said things like that with a twinkle in his eye, like he knew things we didn't and he was having a good joke by keeping it to himself." She made the comment sound exasperated and just a touch petulant. They had decided it would be best if she appeared to be questioning her loyalty and support of Dumbledore's tactics.

"There you go." He skimmed a finger over her cheek and looked at her intently. His desire grew in her, and she realized they were going to take things much farther in this memory than she had been prepared to do. The thought of making love for the Dark Lord's eyes to see made her extremely uncomfortable. "I've missed you, you know. I've missed our talks, your brilliant mind, your kisses, and more." During all of this his face grew closer as, hypnotically, his eyes trapped her and his lips dropped to hers.

It didn't take much effort to put up a token struggle with herself and him when he drew her into his arms. Nor was it impossible to let herself be drawn in after a time. The whole experience was different than usual, however. She could tell the experience was made to look as though he was continuing the manipulation. It wasn't loving. Though it was gentle, it catered more to his enjoyment than hers.

The whole experience left her feeling almost dirty, but she knew that might have been because she remembered throughout the encounter that Voldemort might see her with Severus. When it was all over, he held her in his arms for a long time. Then he rubbed a long stroke along her back.

"I'm sorry, my dear. I know that was far from pleasant for you. I hated to ask it of you. I promise to try and stop the memory as early on as I can. I don't want to share that with him." He pressed his lips to her temple to seal the promise. "If I had a choice I wouldn't share any of my time alone with you with him."

Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and breathed deeply of his scent. "It's getting late. The boys will wonder what happened to me."

He buried his face in her neck. "If you weren't staying at the Dursleys', I could come to you at night. We could sleep in each other's arms far more often."

She pressed a kiss to his chest, then backed away to look him in the eye. "If I weren't at the Dursleys I would have to be somewhere equally secure, if not more. Then I would have to explain my absences to more than just Harry and Ron. We each have our responsibilities. I have to be near Harry for me to carry out mine. But I want you to start looking into more permanent living arrangements. Somewhere we won't be touched by all of this. Somewhere we can go when it's all over."

His fingers brushed the hair from her nape and caressed the skin there. She still didn't feel settled after their acting job, but his touch was slowly wiping that dirty feeling away. "A life on the run: is that what you want?"

"Of course not, but unless you have other ideas, it's the best I can come up with. Please, I don't want to live without you, not even for the short months I would stay sane after they locked you up in Azkaban." She felt tears welling in her eyes, and her voice hitched on a sob.

"Shhhh, it's all right. I've already begun. I'll tell you more when I have details."

After another moment, he turned her chin up to face him. "How long since you took the potion last?"

"Nearly a month. I'll get to the apothecary in the next day or two and pick something up before we meet again." Hermione blushed, knowing the person who helped her at the shop would wonder what a young girl like her needed birth control for, and whether she was some loose woman.

"No, what they stock isn't always effective, and you'll be open to scrutiny. I'll make up a batch and bring it with me. There should be enough to last several months, and I won't have to worry about bad brewers." His hand caressed the back of her arm, before he pulled away. "We'd best get cleaned up."

*****

Less than an hour later, Hermione was popping back to the tent. It was considerably later than she had ever stretched one of her visits before. When she arrived she found Tonks, Remus, Mad-Eye, and the boys gathered together in conference.

"Hermione! We were worried you'd been kidnapped or something. Where've you been?" Harry's tone was accusatory, but she saw relief in his eyes.

"I told you I had a date with my soul mate last night."

"Yeah, that was last night. What about this morning? Unless you . . ." Ron looked a bit sick and turned away.

Understanding his line of thought, Hermione fortified herself for any reaction she might get from the others. Not even the greatest prude would see anything wrong with her spending the night with her husband. If they knew about the marriage, that was.

Which none of them did.

"We've had people looking for you. You should've returned last night." Remus's tone was even, but she saw his nostrils flare once, then again. He looked at her, searching her face, then leaned in and took a less subtle sniff at her. His eyes hardened and narrowed, but he said nothing more.

"I apologize. If someone would have sent me a Patronus message, I could have reassured you that I was perfectly safe. I don't want people worrying about me. I know what I'm doing and take excellent precautions."

"Are you sure about that?" Remus asked, his voice as flinty as his eyes. "Are you sure you're not being just a little too trusting?"

"Constant Vigilance, Miss Granger. We can't afford to lose you now, and taking risks is dangerous in these difficult times." Mad-Eye's magical eye focused in on her, then wandered the tent again. His other eye stayed peeled on her. "It's too dangerous for you to keep this boy secret. We can't keep you safe if you're off in some unprotected location. Not to mention any, er, activities you're involved in that you shouldn't be."

"He's not dangerous, we're very careful in every way, and the location is protected. I'm not sure exactly where it's located, but it is secure. I assure you." Hermione resigned herself to placating and calming though she still felt a bit off from her encounter with Severus that morning. Today was certain to be a very difficult day.

*****

That afternoon Severus appeared before the Dark Lord, his enacted memory ready for viewing. The leader was holding court with several of his minions, planning something with Bellatrix Lestrange, which Severus was able to extract from her mind as she passed him a few moments later. He made a mental note to have Hermione warn the Longbottoms ASAP, then turned his attention back to the gathering around him.

One by one the others reported, received responsibilities, or simply listened to propaganda before being dismissed. Well into his second hour, and after watching more than one Death Eater punished for not completing their assigned task in the manner their lord saw fitting, Severus was nearly alone with him. When he was called to the front, Severus bowed low and kissed the hem of the Dark Lord's robe. "Master."

"Severus, I hope you have useful news to report."

"I have gained the girl's trust once again." He spun out the memory, pulling out of it before things grew too intimate. He was relieved when the Dark Lord didn't ask to see more.

"Very good, Severus. Very good. I am pleased with your progress, and with the preparations you made in case of Malfoy's failure. You are well placed to receive information for me from the chit."

"She is weak and naïve and right in the middle of the Order's loving arms. She'll be a useful contact."

"What news of Potter?"

"He's spending a lazy summer with his friends, playing chess and Exploding Snap." Severus curled a lip in derision. "The girl complains of his and Weasley's lack of interest in anything but entertainment, and that when they aren't playing games, he drops into melancholy over the loss of his mentor."

The Dark Lord wore an evil grin as he chuckled low in exultation. "While he wastes his time, we will prepare to end him once and for all."

Severus held back a shiver at the pronouncement. Not if I have anything to say about it.

*****

"I know Muggles take things easier in certain areas than wizards, but gees, Hermione." Harry was helping her set the table for dinner. Ron had popped back to the Burrow for a few minutes to pick up a book of Bill's on curse breaking that Hermione wanted to borrow.

Though Hermione had thought Ron was nearly over his interest in her, his finding out she had spent the night with her soul mate had thrown him again. She hated that, but nothing was going to change, so they would both have to live with it. If she dared to tell him she was married, it might go a way toward lulling him, but that still wasn't an option.

"It's not like you're thinking."

"Oh, it isn't? So you sat and talked all night, never doing more than holding hands and kissing? After the times you hinted that I be careful not to take things too far with Ginny, it's hypocritical, that's what." He set the glasses on the table with a little more force than necessary.

"If this were just some bloke I was dating you would be right, absolutely, but Harry . . . the situation is different. I'm nearly two years older than Ginny, and don't wave that away as unimportant, in a few years it won't matter in the least, but right now it's significant. And, well, we have a commitment. We're soul mates; that means there will never be another man for me. Never. Not just because I only want him, but because though I may find another guy attract-TIVE, I will never again be attract-TED. He's it for me. I didn't choose it, that's just the way things are. And our relationship has progressed to an adult commitment. Ginny's not any more ready to do that than you are."

"So are you talking marriage here? I mean, come on, you're only seventeen."

"I know. I figured I'd at least go another fifteen years before I settled with anyone. But things aren't always what we expect, or what they seem. And magic has a way of making things take on a life of their own." As illustration, she nudged the drying towel with her wand and it floated up and did a pirouette in the air before dancing across the room to the side of the sink. "If it weren't for the war, you might have witnessed my binding by now." It was a very careful obfuscation of the truth, and she held her breath to see his reaction.

Harry watched the performance, then shook his head in resignation. "I still say, be careful."

"I'm very careful, don't worry."

________

AN: Huge apologies for taking so long to get this posted up. I take fully responsibility for being so slow this week. A big thanks to my beta, countrymouse, for taking such a quick look at it, and to RobisonRocket for catching my remaining errors.