6: Secret Meeting

Chapter 6: Secret Meeting

Every day Hermione wrote something in her diary, and occasionally she and Severus would continue in the same back-and-forth banter. She couldn't believe how easy it was to talk with him on paper. After their short conversations...sometimes questions, sometimes laughing at something in class, and other times just observations about life...she found herself better able to focus on homework.

They made plans to meet Sunday afternoon in his quarters, and Hermione debated whether she should ask to borrow Harry's invisibility cloak. Of course, if she borrowed it, Harry would want to know what she was doing, where she was going. And if he didn't like her answer, he might look on the map to see where she had gone. That was a chance she didn't dare take. Better to let him believe she was going to study somewhere. She just hoped he wouldn't spend the afternoon looking for Malfoy on the map and accidentally catch her out.

That left a question of how she would get to Severus's rooms without detection. After spending several hours searching the library Friday night, she decided a basic Disillusionment Charm would work best. She hurried to her room to practice in private. 'Lav-Lav' would be far away, as the annoying girl had been avoiding Hermione ever since she found out Ron had spoken to Hermione in the hospital wing, while he kept pretending to be asleep whenever Lavender went up. Honestly, Hermione no longer cared what her annoying roommate did with or without Ron, as long as she did it somewhere else. And as Hermione had just seen Parvati in the library, she would most likely have a while to perfect the charm.

A few minutes' practice was enough to ensure that Hermione could perform both the spell and the counter spell effectively, and she settled down in bed to read ahead for her Potions class before sleep.

Accordingly that Sunday afternoon, she left the common room and walked down a nearby corridor where she could ensure a moment of privacy and cast her Disillusionment Charm. Then she cast Muffliato on herself so others wouldn't hear her footsteps, then headed toward the dungeons. She knew she got after the boys for using Muffliato when they were in class or in the common room, but the spell did have its uses. Hermione figured she would keep that fact to herself for the time being, however.

It took more than ten minutes to arrive at Severus's office door. She looked both directions, then ended the muffling spell before raising her hand to knock. After a long moment, the door opened and Severus stood before her in all his black-clad, scowling glory.

His expression was one of deep suspicion as he looked through her and off to each side.

He blinked and looked right at her, then stepped back to allow her through the door. "Best come in."

When the door closed, she tapped herself on the head and shivered as the spell dissipated. "I don't know if I'll ever get used to that feeling," she said with a shiver. "How did you know it was me?"

He crossed his hands over his chest and gave her a long look, but said nothing.

"What?" She touched her hair and straightened her skirt, wondering what he was staring at. "Is something wrong?" She could feel the longing to touch him begin to grow inside her.

He let out a long breath. If it had been anyone else, Hermione would have sworn it was a sigh, but Severus Snape would never have sighed. "Yes. You look like a school girl. Do you know how much it irritates me to be in lust with a school girl? It goes against everything I've ever believed in."

"In lust?" It was frustrating to have such a shallow word applied to such deep feelings.

"What else do you call it? It's all hormones and enchantments." Though his look of disgruntlement didn't change, he took a step toward her.

"You have a point." She hated to admit it. After all, it felt so much like true love, it was made to feel like true love, but she didn't even know the man. Of course, she respected him, and just lately she'd found him wildly attractive, senselessly attractive...okay, sexy as all get out. But she didn't know anything about his personality that was the least bit attractive. Well, beside his wicked-funny sense of humor and apparent ability to hold reasonable conversation when they wrote each other. Those had to count for something, if very little. Still, she took a step closer. "I can't say I'm upset that you don't routinely fall for your students. It would make things rather uncomfortable if you did." With his next controlled step in her direction, she marveled she could hold a train of thought with him so near.

"I always have a point." He slid his hands inward along her shoulders and pulled her to him, slowly, every so slowly, pulling her near. Then his lips touched hers and her brain disengaged.

His lips were soft and sure, tantalizing, enchanting, numbing her to everything except for the points where their bodies touched. Then his kisses grew firmer and he parted her lips to taste her. That seemed to be both their undoing, and everything whirled into sensations of hands and fingers, mouths, teeth, tongue and the long length of his body pressed against her own. The sensation grew and multiplied as Hermione fought to keep up, warred against her spiraling reactions as she wondered which of them was more desperate.

She felt his fingers crawling up the loosening buttons of the demure, white school shirt she wore beneath her school robes...robes that somehow seemed to be missing. The question of missing robes seemed completely unimportant, however, as her fingers struggled with the buttons of his vest and finally with his own white shirt.

About the time his lips trailed from her collar bone, down along the swell of her breasts, she managed to get the first few lower buttons on his shirt undone. She splayed her fingers along his chest beneath the cotton. When one hand glided up her side and over her ribs, she moaned out, "Severus."

He stiffened, paused for a split second, pressed and held a kiss to the side of her throat, then, impossibly, pulled away. His hands seemed to hang in the air where they had been touching her body before he turned toward the wall and took in a deep, shaky breath.

"Why did you stop?" She let her hands fall to her sides, feeling bereft.

"If I hadn't stopped now, I wouldn't have stopped at all." He turned back to face her, straightening his shirt and beginning to return his buttons to their previous arrangement. His eyes, however, roamed over her disheveled state, pausing to linger over her bosom.

"And would that have been so bad?" She didn't bother to do up any buttons, but wrapped her shirt around her, holding it closed by crossing her arms in front of her body.

"Yes. We have things to discuss. I believe it was only a couple days ago you were saying you weren't ready to go that far." His fingers were now finished with their work, and he hesitated, then walked over to her, separated her arms and as she showed no signs of doing so, began to rebutton her shirt himself. He was back in full Professor Snape persona now, all business, and his touch was clinical. At least Hermione thought so until, when finished, he allowed a couple fingers to caress her collar bone before stepping back.

"I may have changed my mind by now," she said. She felt like her brain had melted into a puddle of lust and she would give nearly anything to return to their former activity.

"Even so, we need to talk before we go any further, and I will not allow your teenage, potion-effected hormones to make decisions you aren't prepared for. Not yet, anyway." Severus turned and walked over to the book shelves, removed a book near the middle of the second shelf, and the wall opened to reveal a door. He placed a hand on it and muttered something she couldn't hear, and the door opened. "My rooms are through here. I would rather conduct this conversation is more comfort and certainly more privacy as I sometimes get visitors to my office." He gestured for her to go through, and Hermione stepped into his private quarters.

The rooms were little different from the student facilities, besides being a bit more spacious and holding more book shelves for his collection. The room was a bit cluttered, but the house-elves obviously took care to keep it clean. His orderly mind was reflected in the perfect organization of the books she could see from where she stood. Her expectations of green and silver everything covered in snakes were misplaced she realized, though the forest green and blue furnishings, generously augmented with black accents, suited him. There was a chess game set up on a side table along one wall.

Severus seemed to see her eyes light on the table and said, "Occasionally I play a match against the Headmaster or even, on rare occasions, Professor McGonagall." Hermione lifted a brow at him, copying his usual expression of disbelief. He smirked. "We get along quite well when we aren't arguing over who started the last fight between your friends and Malfoy's bruisers...the bullying prats."

That comment surprised Hermione. "But I thought you liked Malfoy."

His expression was sardonic. "Friendships with people in power can come in handy, Hermione. Sometimes you have to play the odds, even if you do get stuck dealing with arseholes from time to time. Part of being a good spy is knowing who to play nice with. And Mr. Potter could always use a bit of chastening, which makes coddling Malfoy a bit more bearable."

"That was a rather generous description of the Malfoys, though. Right foul lot of evil prats if you ask me."

He lifted an eyebrow, and amusement played at the corner of his lips and in his eyes. "Quite. Take a seat, will you?" He gestured, wand in hand, to the sofa sitting before the fire, and the fire flared to life. "We didn't get much of a chance to talk at our last meeting. Though I could have used the diary to discuss the situation, I thought face-to-face might be better."

Hermione walked over and settled on the edge of the sofa. She wasn't sure what to do with her hands or how to act. The whole situation was so unreal and awkward, and hormones were still stirring through her blood from their kisses. If she hadn't caught an occasional flash of desire in his eyes as well, she would think he had turned his emotions completely off. He has been a spy for two decades. He has to be able to master his reactions, she reminded herself.

"Tea?" he asked.

"Yes, please." It would give her something to do with her hands, if nothing else.

Severus pulled out his wand and waved it a bit. A tea set appeared before them and he began to pour out. "I spoke with the Headmaster after our discussion Tuesday night. He apprised me of some school rules I hadn't been aware of before." He met her eyes, then blew over his cup of tea, focusing on the brown liquid before him. "Apparently it is fine for a teacher and student to be involved romantically so long as there is a binding in place."

Hermione all but coughed up her tea at his words. "A binding. As in marriage?" She hadn't planned on marrying for years yet. A decade, even. Of course, she realized the potion would make staying single for so long impractical, as so much time spent apart would undoubtedly cause frustration and difficulty. But the way he spoke. . . "Not right away, though."

"You mean like tomorrow? No. But Albus has requested before things become . . . desperate," there was that word again, "that we make that step. Of course, that gives us a little leeway. But I think it unrealistic to put the day off for long. Already I find it difficult to pull back. And your reactions speak for themselves."

Hermione couldn't speak, part of her thrilled at the prospect of marrying this man, but the rest of her revolted. She was too young, he was too difficult, and things were too uncertain. It was all completely ludicrous, but she couldn't dismiss it out of hand. School rules were a compelling reason to take it all seriously. And, of course, the potion was pushing them very firmly in that direction.

After giving her a moment to consider his words, he spoke up. "Marriage is a very serious step, regardless of whatever artificial means have been employed to bring this about. It increases the personal danger for both of us. This is a war, Hermione, and word of a personal relationship between us can mean death to either of us...possibly with a very long, painful bout of torture beforehand. What is going on between us must remain perfectly secret unless or until I can manage to make certain parties aware in a light that will please them. Even then, I prefer to live my life quietly, without fanfare, which is the safest course under the circumstances."

"You mean Voldemort, of course."

He hissed. "Don't say his name, not around me. If you value my life, and by extension your own, do me this one favor." His face was black and threatening.

"I will try not to speak it around you."

"I would appreciate it." He took several swallows of his drink, then placed the cup and saucer on the table before them. "I will reset the wards to recognize you, but I must ask that you not come here except when we have an appointment or in case of emergency. I wouldn't want to draw extra attention to our relationship."

"Okay, Severus." She set her own cup down, not interested in finishing it, and turned toward him.

He pulled her into his chest and dropped a kiss on her forehead, then leaned back against the arm of the chair with her snuggled against him. "Excuse me, I want to talk, but I feel drawn to hold you." The words sounded as though he was pained to speak them, confused that he could even feel such a thing. When she was settled in place, his voice returned to normal. "Perhaps it may alleviate some of the distraction in our brains as well. I cannot always touch you to help you focus in my class. It was risky enough to do once. Now, about that question you had on the infusion of wormwood used instead of the powdered form."

Hermione was dazed. She was snuggling with Severus Snape, the unapproachable, unlovable, evil git of the dungeon, and he was all but inviting her to ask all the questions she wanted.

Surely the world was about to come to an end.

She smiled to herself and proceeded to discuss the matter thoroughly before they continued onto other subjects.