Chapter 25 – End of the Guardianship

Thanks a lot to my beta-readers, Orodruin and AmyLouise, for correcting my mistakes.

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and I am not earning anything by writing this story.

Chapter 25 – End of the Guardianship

"You are a disgusting freak, Potter! Get out of my quarters! How could I think you would be worthy to live with me and my family? You disgust me!" Severus spat at Harry, who cowered in front of his feet.

"I'm sorry, sir. Really! Please don't send me away," Harry pleaded helplessly.

"Sorry? Do you believe that changes anything? You disgraced our family in that shop. The whole world is speaking about it. You are nothing but a weak freak." With that he grabbed Harry's hair and dragged him to the door.

"No, please. I'm sorry." Harry whined and tried to ease the pain of the pulled hairs by grabbing after Severus' hands.

"Please, don't throw me out. I will be good. I promise."

"You are nothing but a freak, Potter. I want you out of my sight and away from my family." He had dragged Harry to the door and now let go of his hair. When the door opened, Harry could see nothing but blackness. They didn't want him anymore. He had screwed it up because of a damn pair of boxer shorts. He looked into the blackness that awaited him with tear-filled eyes. Severus grabbed his shoulder to push him out, but he didn't let go and instead started to shake him.

"Harry, Harry!"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, please don't send me away." Harry sobbed.

"Harry, wake up."

Wake up? Harry realized that Severus had called him Harry and not Potter. His voice also was not harsh and bitter as before but softer and worried.

"Wake up, Harry. It's just a nightmare. You are safe here. Come on, open your eyes," Severus instructed the sobbing boy while shaking his shoulder.

Slowly, Harry opened his eyes. He could see the blurred face of Severus right in front of his own. He backed away and covered his head with his arms.

"It was just a nightmare, Harry. It's over. Please calm down," Severus said calmly. He was relieved that Harry had finally woken up. It had taken him quite some time to get him awake. What he had heard while he tried to wake the thrashing and screaming boy worried him a lot. He slowly touched Harry's shoulder. After two attempts, Harry stopped flinching away.

"It's okay, Harry. Nobody is sending you away. It was just a dream."

"I'm sorry," Harry said, between sobs.

"Come here, Harry." He cautiously dragged Harry onto his lap and encircled him with his arms. "Shh, it's over. There is nothing to be sorry about or scared about, Harry." He had the feeling the name Harry was coming out of his mouth like a mantra, but he was sure that Harry needed to hear him using his first name as often as possible to wake fully from his nightmare.

Finally, Harry realized that it was all a dream. He clung to Severus and didn't try to tell him how sorry he was. He buried his face in Severus' chest, so he wouldn't see what a baby he was. I must look like a real ninny.

"Like I said, there is nothing to be sorry about. Do you want to tell me about your dream?" He damn well knew what the dream was about. Harry had been very vocal while he was thrashing like hell on the bed. Severus knew from experience that it was good to speak about nightmares, and so he hoped Harry would open up.

Harry shook his head. "It was horrible." At least he had stopped crying, but he didn't stop burying his face in Severus' chest.

Severus rummaged in his pocket and took out a fresh handkerchief. "Here, Harry."

Harry took the handkerchief and first cleaned his face, then blew his nose. While he pocketed it, he said, "I will buy you a new one."

"You are welcome to keep it. You don't have to buy me a new one," Severus said softly, but couldn't resist rolling his eyes.

Harry noticed that he was sitting on Severus' lap and wriggled free. "I'm too old for this." He blushed and sat down beside Severus. The scary feeling that had captured him after the bad dream had vanished completely. Now the embarrassment over being such a baby as to cry over a nightmare took over.

"You are never too old for a hug, Harry. Especially when you are scared," Severus said convincingly.

"Yeah, scared over a dream," Harry said sullenly.

"A nightmare, not just a dream. Nobody can control his feelings while he dreams. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. I had many nightmares myself and also have been woken up screaming and scared."

Harry looked straight into Severus' face. There was no sign of mocking in Severus' expression. He meant it all seriously. "And has someone seen you like this?" He gestured at his own face. "Crying like a baby?"

"Yes, many people saw me like that. I fear even more than have seen you. But I don't like to be called a crying baby by anyone, especially not you." He raised an eyebrow.

Harry's mouth dropped open when he realized what Severus meant. "Oh, I didn't mean you. I meant... I..." he stuttered helplessly.

"Then you shouldn't think about yourself as a crying baby either." He patted Harry's head and softly pushed it against his shoulder. Harry didn't resist. It felt good to lean against Severus. Seeing that Harry didn't complain, Severus went on. "I have learned that speaking about my dreams lowers the risk that they haunt me another time. It takes a lot of courage and someone you trust to speak about it. I know you are brave enough. Braver than any other boy your age, Harry; but am I someone you can trust to speak to about your dream?"

Harry leaned a little more into Severus. "It was about you," he whispered, almost inaudibly.

"What exactly about me?" Severus encouraged Harry to continue.

Harry sighed and then told Severus about the whole dream. It felt good to speak about it, and it lost its scariness a little. Now and then, he looked up into Severus' face and saw that he was looking seriously at him, and that encouraged him to tell Severus everything. In the end he sighed and felt relieved when Severus drew him into another hug.

While he hugged Harry and softly stroked his hair, Severus said, "We would never throw you out, Harry. Quite the contrary. We want to adopt you, Harry, not just be your guardians. We didn't want to push you into a decision, and I only told you about it now to show you how much you mean to us, not to pressure you at all."

Seeing Harry looking up at him, astonished, he added, "We will speak about this later, but first I want to say some more things. You are no freak, Harry. I don't know what we can say or do that will make you finally realize this. You are a normal teenager who just had a great burden on his shoulders and damn horrible guardians, Harry. You will cope with what you have gone through, and one day you can be as jolly or rebellious as any other average teenager. You just have to give yourself time to heal and stop pressuring yourself. If someone made a mistake yesterday, then it was us. We went overboard on the whole shopping trip. You were very exhausted, and we should have noticed."

Severus sighed, "We all have to learn, Harry, not only you. James assured me that it was okay for you to get an attack after such a long and exhausting afternoon. You just have to learn to notice the signs of an attack starting and use your applicator. We shouldn't have let you out of sight. You will stay the rest of the week here with me, and on the weekend, you can go to Diagon Alley with Albus, Minerva and the twins. On Monday, you can start going to classes again if you feel like it. You will be okay, Harry."

Severus looked Harry deep in his eyes. He could see tears forming in them again, and so he pulled the boy to his chest.

"I would never hurt you, Harry. You are safe here. You are already a part of our family. We love you like a son." It surprised Severus how easily the words had come from his lips.

"Can we talk about the adoption thing now?" Harry asked carefully, not taking his face out of Severus' robes.

"If you want... What did you want to know yesterday?" Severus asked.

"Yesterday?" Harry's head emerged from Severus' chest, and he looked at the window, confused. It was charmed to show the weather outside even though they were in the dungeons. It was bright and sunny. "Have I slept that long?"

"We brought you home, and James checked on you. A sleeping spell let you sleep until now. It's ten in the morning; I am sure that would have been your next question."

Harry grinned. "Maybe you are related to this Charlee Seer on the door?"

Severus laughed. "Oh, Merlin, no. You want to hear the story about her?"

Harry nodded eagerly.

"Minerva is not very fond of the subject of Divination. Like our Professor Trelawney, almost all Trelawneys are Seers. Charlee Trelawney had gone to school with Minerva, and to put it mildly, she didn't like her. So once when we had a row, I put that face on the door. It's not like a painting; it doesn't inherit any character traits or memories. Only the face and the voice are like the person, but it's just a charm. If I wanted I could change the face to any other person I choose."

Severus grinned at Harry. "But I don't want to."

"That's wicked," Harry said, grinning back at Severus.

"What do you think about something to eat?"

"We haven't spoken about the guardianship and the adoption thing." Harry wanted to know all about it now.

"Okay, but after we speak about it, you will eat a full breakfast. Deal?"

"Deal," Harry said, happy that Severus didn't force him to eat first.

"Right now, we are your guardians. The problem is that the Ministry still has the ability to intervene in many things. Like your health care, your education, and more. Only Albus' high influence in the Ministry makes it possible for us to take you in. I don't want to lie to you, Harry. The Ministry still wants you in St. Mungo's. We won't let them take you away from us; but like I said, they have great influence. They can demand a therapy progress record from James at any time." Seeing Harry's shocked face, he added, "Of course, James would never tell the Ministry or anyone else what you two talk about without your permission. They only get a report about your physical and psychological health progress, and if you are working togeth..."

Harry almost jumped out of the bed. "But I'm not getting better! What if they really take me away to St. Mungo's?" He breathed heavily and frantically ran to his clothes, lying on a chair beside his bed. When he found the applicator, he used it and instantly felt much better. His heartbeat calmed down, and he could breathe freely. Exhausted, he sat down on the bed.

"I think you just proved yourself wrong, Harry," Severus said calmly.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, puzzled.

"That was the first time that you realized by yourself when to use the inhaler. That is quite some progress. I'm sure James, Ivy and the rest will be as proud as I am when they hear this."

Severus smiled at Harry and ruffled his hair. Seeing Harry smiling proudly back, he went on with his explanations. "They will not get you away from us even if you never make any progress. We wouldn't let them take you, but we have to ask their permission for many things. For example when we want to spend the holidays at our Mansion, or want to decide something about your education. That makes it difficult. Therefore, we would like to adopt you. Emotionally, it wouldn't make any difference to us, but it would make things easier. We see you as our son, no matter if we remain as your guardians or become your adoptive parents. It's important that you know this."

"I don't want the Ministry to interfere. I would like the adoption," Harry said, not daring to look up in Severus' face. "What will happen with my name?"

"That is up to you, Harry. It can stay Potter or you can change it to Snape. It makes no difference to us. You had loving parents who gave you your name; unfortunately, they are dead. This name, some photos, and memories from other people are all you still have of them. It is absolutely understandable if you want to keep this connection to your parents. We don't mind at all." Severus meant every word he said. He didn't want Harry to feel bad about it. If he had been in Harry's place, he would choose to keep his name.

"I would like to keep my name if that is really okay with you all," Harry said shyly.

"It is, Harry." Severus smiled and stood up. "And now it's time to keep your part of the promise. A full breakfast before James shows up at noon."

With that they both left for the living room. Severus was relieved that now he wouldn't have to constantly battle with the Ministry and that Harry had opened up to him. Harry was relieved to have a real family and also that Severus had listened to him. He was especially happy that Severus was proud of him for using the applicator in time. Maybe his life really would start to become normal.

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