Chapter 10 - The Nervous Breakdown

Thanks a lot to my beta-readers, Orodruin and AmyLouise, for correcting my mistakes.

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and I am not earning anything by writing this story.

Chapter 10 - The Nervous Breakdown

Only half an hour had passed before his two friends returned to the hospital wing. They carefully looked around for Madam Pomfrey.

"Don't worry, she isn't here and won't come back soon. She had an emergency call from St. Mungo's and is over there now," Harry said to calm the nerves of his friends.

The two walked over to his bed, and Hermione said, "You look a little better. How do you feel?"

"I'm fine. Maybe Madam Pomfrey will release me after supper or whenever she comes back," Harry replied. Damn, I hadn't thought about that. Maybe she won't come back in time, and then I'll have to stay here for another night. Fantastic – that's the punishment for my happiness over her leaving. I was just so happy that I would have the possibility to speak with Hermione and Ron without an audience, Harry thought guiltily.

"Great, so you'll come back tonight. It was really boring to sleep without worrying that you'd throw a pillow at me if you thought I was snoring," Ron said happily.

Okay, I should say it now, Harry thought and took a deep breath.

But before he could react to Ron's outburst of friendship, Hermione said, while pretending to be shocked, "You snore?"

"Of course I don't! It's just Harry's imagination," Ron answered, blushing.

When both looked back at Harry, they realized that he was paler than before.

"Everything okay, Harry? Should we call someone?" Hermione asked, worried.

Harry sighed. Better I get it over with soon. "No, you don't have to call anyone. Please just sit down and let me tell you what I wanted to tell you during your last visit."

Ron was looking as if someone had taken away his Chudley Cannons poster, and Hermione looked so worried that Harry immediately added, "It's not that bad, but I'm still not sure how you will react to the news."

"Merlin, don't torture us any longer," Ron said, still very worried but also impatient. He sat down on the foot of the bed and looked expectantly at Harry.

Hermione sat down beside Harry and placed her hand on Harry's hand.

Harry took another deep breath and started to explain what Dumbledore had told him. At the end of his explanation, Ron's mouth dropped open.

"You have to live with Snape? The greasy git?" he asked, shocked.

"He will live with the Dumbledore-Snape family, Ron," Hermione scolded him and tried to mimic his shocked reaction to embarrass him into stopping. She turned around to Harry and added, "I think it's a wonderful idea, Harry. You'll enjoy living with a real family." She smiled at him warmly but seemed a little unsure.

Ron wouldn't be Ron if he was able to understand Hermione's non-verbal cues, so he didn't stop. "Good idea? Are you crazy? You can't come back to our dormitory? But that's not fair! Why won't they let you come back?" He jumped up from the bed.

Hermione was furious. She looked at Harry's shocked face and jumped up, starting to shout at Ron. "Didn't you listen to anything Harry told us last time? Of course they won't just let him go back to your dormitory! You are so selfish, Ron."

Harry, meanwhile, was lost in panic. He didn't take it well. He is furious and will never visit me down in the dungeons. I will lose him as a friend. Harry started to feel dizzy, and his breathing quickened. He had the feeling that his mind was running off, and his thoughts were twisting. From far away he could hear Hermione still arguing with Ron.

He could only catch parts of what was spoken, but what he caught made him panic even more. Ron was saying something about Snape still being a cold bastard, and that Harry wasn't a mental freak. The word freak was echoing in his head and wouldn't go away. He flinched when he felt a hand placed on his chest and another one on his head. The familiar feeling of calming magic flowed through his chest and head, and he started to relax. The headboard was lowered, and Harry could breathe more freely.

"That's it, Harry. Calm down. Everything is okay." James's calm, deep voice penetrated Harry's foggy mind.

Harry tried to shake his head. No, nothing is okay. He doesn't want to be my friend any longer. Tears were running down his cheeks, and he started to sob. He tried to fight it. Merlin, this is embarrassing. I'm such a freak. Freak. Freak. Freak; it echoed in his head.

"It's okay, Harry. Just let go. It's only me and James." Harry could hear Ivy's voice and felt her taking his hand. "I sent your friends away."

More sobs escaped Harry. "No friends. I'm a freak," he croaked desperately.

James increased the flow of magic and gently said, "That's not true, Harry. You still have your friends, and you are not a freak. Everything will clear up when you speak to them next time."

"No!" Harry said, still in despair. But the steady flow of calming magic ebbed his sobbing, and he slowly calmed down.

Ivy started to stroke his hair the moment James took his hand away from his forehead. "Harry, you know Ron. He didn't mean what he said. I'm sure he already regrets it."

Harry felt that all of his thoughts were disentangling themselves again, and he was beginning to think more clearly now. He was also more aware of his surroundings and looked first at Ivy, then at James, who was still letting a trickle of magic flow though his chest.

"Better?" James asked softly. He eyed Harry closely, and when he saw him nod, he removed his hand from Harry's chest.

Harry started to wipe away the tears on his face with his free hand. He felt wetness on his neck. Merlin, I'm such a baby. He tried to wipe the wetness away from his neck and was surprised when he suddenly felt totally dry. When he looked at James, he could see that he had his wand in hand and obviously had dried his face, neck and bedclothes with a spell.

He closed his eyes in annoyance at his behavior, and when he opened them again, he said desperately, "Madam Pomfrey will not release me after this." He almost felt like sobbing again.

"No worries, Harry. This has nothing to do with your dismissal from the hospital wing. You will have emotional problems like this for some time. It's absolutely normal. We'll teach you to control it with therapy sessions. Right now, I want you to drink this potion to help you to relax." James moved the headboard up again and handed Harry the vial.

"Do I have to go to sleep again?" He eyed the potion skeptically.

"No, this potion won't make you sleepy, it just prevents you from dwelling on negative thoughts for a while," James explained patiently.

Harry trusted James. It's crazy that I feel so safe around these two. Two days ago I thought I would never feel safe again in my life and now this. He drank the potion and handed the empty vial to James.

James was glad that Harry had calmed down and reacted positively to their help. He placed the empty vial on the night table and took Harry's wrist to feel his pulse.

Harry relaxed. The potion was letting his thoughts just swim on the surface of his mind. No deep dwelling was possible, and so he could concentrate on the present situation. Ivy was still holding his hand and stroking his hair softly. James had finished his pulse reading and looked thoughtfully at Harry.

"How do you feel? Do you think you could have supper with us?" James asked Harry.

"I'm fine. The potion worked really well," Harry said, relieved.

"Yes, it is quite good, but it doesn't change the fact that we will have to speak about this later, Harry," he said, looking seriously at Harry.

"I know!" Harry answered sullenly and lowered his eyes.

It wasn't the time to speak with Harry about his reaction to the discussion with his friends. James and Ivy had heard Hermione scolding Ron while they were still outside the infirmary. When they had gone in, they could hear Ron saying things about Severus and about Harry's mental status. I think the word freak let Harry get lost in his depression and started a panic attack, James analyzed. I'll have to speak with Ron and Hermione later.

"Can we all eat at the table or is it better for Harry to stay in bed?" Ivy asked James.

"He isn't an invalid, Ivy. A bathrobe and slippers, and then we all can eat our supper together at the table. What do you think, Harry?"

It felt so good that James didn't treat him like a freak or a mental patient. Harry nodded happily and sat up to let Ivy help him into the robe and the slippers.

_______________________

They had hardly started to eat when the hospital door opened and Alastor Moody came into the room. He looked a little surprised at the small group at the table. "Oh, enjoying your meal?" He limped over to the table. "Good to see you again, James. It seems you and my wife have done wonders for young Harry here." He patted Harry's shoulder and smiled at him when he looked up into his face. "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine," Harry said, and after a quick glance in James' direction, he added, "At least, I am now."

"Problems?" Alastor asked worriedly.

Harry sighed heavily. Before he could start to tell Professor Moody that he would prefer not to speak about it, the old man said, "It's okay if you don't want to speak about it. Just know that you always can come and talk to me, okay?"

Harry nodded. It felt awkward that so many people were worried about him and wanted to help him. Maybe I really should have told them earlier. That would have spared me a lot of trouble.

To change the topic, Professor Moody, his hand still resting on Harry's shoulder, asked James, "How is Severus? Did you have to bind him to the bed?"

"He is fine, Alastor. But I have to admit that I had to drug him a little to keep him in bed. Tomorrow he will feel much better, and I'm sure I will pay for it," James answered cheerfully. "Why don't you join us?"

"No, no, I just wanted to see Poppy. Is she in her office?"

"She was called to St. Mungo's for an emergency," James explained. "She didn't know when she would be back. You really can join us for supper; maybe she will arrive soon."

Alastor thought about it briefly and said, "Okay, but just for a cup of tea. I'm not hungry." He sat down in the free chair at the table.

James Summoned another cup, plate and silverware. Before Alastor could protest, he said, "Not eating regularly doesn't do you any good. You don't want to be a bad role model for Harry, do you?"

Alastor glared at James. All the arguments about how he was much older than James, and knew what was good for himself were discredited by James's choice of reasons. Damn manipulative Healer, Alastor thought grumpily.

Harry smirked because he knew that his Defense Against the Dark Arts professor was cornered by James's argument. It's funny to see what an effect James has even on the most feared professors of Hogwarts.

"There, there, Alastor," Ivy said calmingly and patted his arm. "Poppy will be so glad when we tell her you ate with us."

"Not you as well, young lady. I pampered you while you were a baby and now you think you can manipulate me like this sneaky Healer here?" Alastor growled at Ivy while gesturing with his head to James.

Harry almost spat his mouthful of tea on the table at Alastor's words.

"Look, you made Harry upset by refusing to eat with us," Ivy said innocently. "You don't want him to be upset, right?" With that she filled his cup with hot tea and offered him the breadbasket.

Alastor glared daggers at Ivy but grumpily took a slice of bread and placed it on his plate.

They all ate peacefully together until Poppy arrived.