Chapter 13
Chapter 13 of 18
livvy6Voldemort and Ginny finally meet and she is ready to compel the evil wizard to share his secrets of the hidden Horcruxes.
ReviewedA/N: Thank you to all of you who continue to read and review. This is a HUGE chapter. I hope you all enjoy it! Thanks also to my wonderful beta, Shellsnapeluver!
***
Minerva worked feverishly to transfigure the perfect outfit for Ginny to wear to meet Voldemort. As she placed the final touches on the dress, Professors Snape and Dumbledore reiterated the plan several times to get Ginny to remember exactly how she was to react when Lucius came to take her to Voldemort.
The general plan was for Ginny to go to Hogsmeade, where she would let Lucius Malfoy place her under the Imperius Curse and take her to Tom's side.
"It's a ridiculous plan," snapped Harry as he tried to soothe his girlfriend. The young witch was having a difficult time knowing soon she would be in Tom's presence again. "Can Lucius be that stupid?"
Professor Snape was irritated. He did not want Potter involved in this, but Miss Weasley had insisted she could not go through with the plan unless Harry knew all the details.
Severus shrugged. "Depends on how desperate he is. He has to be anxious to make the Dark Lord happy. Especially after all that happened the night I was outed."
Minerva finished the dress and laid it on the young girl's bed. She kissed her on the forehead for luck and left the room without a word. Ginny touched the material of the dress gingerly and finally picked it up.
"Excuse me," she said demurely. "I must go change."
After Ginny had left, the wizards began to talk amongst themselves.
"How do we prepare her?" whispered Harry as his eyes darted between Snape and Dumbledore. "She was trembling earlier."
Snape stood with his arms crossed, not looking at Potter or Dumbledore, but at the closed bathroom door where Ginny was on the other side. "Let me talk to her alone. She needs to understand her part and how to play it," he whispered calmly.
Harry made to argue, but Dumbledore hushed him. "Harry, Professor Snape knows what he is doing. Let's leave him to it," the older wizard said gently as he placed a firm hand on the young man's shoulder.
Harry left, but Severus knew he wanted to stay. He knew the boy didn't trust him to be alone with his witch, but it couldn't be helped. Severus knew he was the only one who could prepare the young woman fully for the reality that lay ahead.
***
When Ginny emerged from the bathroom, she looked around quickly and said, "Where is Harry?"
Snape stood by the door and explained as he began to walk slowly towards her. "Potter and the Headmaster left. I think it would be prudent for you to become relaxed and mentally prepared for tonight. You need to be calm and confident. You can do this Miss Weasley," he said in a soothing voice.
"You heard what we said?" he asked quietly.
Ginny fidgeted with her dress. "It's hard not to. This isn't the largest room in the world," she retorted as she looked around her.
Snape regarded the young redhead in her new dress. She looked quite lovely. She would be perfect. "Nevertheless, it has kept you and everyone around you safe. The sooner we finish with this nightmare, the safer we'll all sleep tonight," he said coolly.
He sat on the bed and gestured for her to join him. "Ginevra," he whispered softly, "tonight, you must remember to play your part. You must resist Lucius when he first abducts you. When he tells you what he plans to do with you, you must become calm. If you cease to resist when he tells you that you are going to see the Dark Lord, he may forgo placing you under the Imperius Curse. Lucius hates to do more work than is necessary. You will use that to your advantage. It would be wise for you to act eager and happy to be reunited with the Dark Lord."
He placed his hands inside his robes and drew out a crystal phial. "Do you know what this is?" he asked.
Ginny shook her head.
"This is a mild lust potion that I have manipulated, and yes, it is Dark magic. The true look of the Dark Lord would repulse you since the wizard you remember was the once young and handsome Tom Riddle. He is no more like that young man. He is more serpent than man and revolting to behold. You CANNOT under any circumstances show your revulsion, so I have concocted a potion to bypass the problem.
"Now, you will drink this, and it will make him desirable in your eyes. You will only see the young Tom Riddle you knew in your dreams and as a young child. However, you will still remain in control of your senses. You must compel him to tell you about the Horcruxes, Ginevra. We already know of the Diary, the Ring, the Locket, and one other I cannot reveal to you. There are three more. Three missing ones that we do not know."
He wrapped a hand around her waist, pulling her to him tenderly to help aid her to accept him pouring the liquid into her mouth. He swept his strong hand behind the nape of her neck, and her head succumbed to his touch. Her pink lips opened and he raised the phial to her mouth. As she swallowed the clear liquid, her trusting brown eyes searched out his black ones. He cradled her mind in his and helped her to ease into the transition.
He held her to him and stroked her hair, while whispering against her ear. "You must allow him to seduce you, Ginevra, yet hold back. You are a pure-blood and deserve a virgin's wedding. I want you to promise him everything he asks of you, no matter how frightening or embarrassing. Promise him children...powerful children. Remind him you come from good stock; your mother bore six sons before you. You will do the same. You will reign next to him and be his confidant. He desires to control you and make you his slave. You will not understand this. He will not tell you of it nor shall he be honest about his intentions. You will be obedient. If you must, let him touch you, and follow your instincts. Touch him if you feel it will get you the information we need. He is already using you. Use him in return.
"Let him know you are a virgin. Let him experience the pain of want. He will understand your rights as a pure-blood. You deserve a virgin's wedding. Do not allow your innocence stop you from speaking words that until now you have only whispered in the dark. He is all encompassing darkness, and there is no good or love in him. Do not forget. His ability to charm is of legend. He is a master in the art of seduction. However, you shall be the stronger. Turn his charm against him. Use his strength to become his weakness."
Overcome with the sensuous words being poured into her ear, Ginny turned to the man whose voice was making her burn and yearn for lust and power. She kissed him, opening her mouth to taste his. He was slow, letting her find her way before he responded and matched her eagerness to search out his mouth, lips and tongue. She pushed her breasts into his chest as she took over, trying to see if she could do this...if she could tempt a powerful, older wizard. She was so grateful he was allowing her to explore and feel out her way before tenderly pulling away.
"You are ready, Ginevra," he whispered. "Just like that, respond only to Tom. He is the one from whom you require answers. Do you understand?"
Her mind was so fuzzy, and all she could see was her Tom. He was leading her away. "Tom, don't send me away," she moaned as she skimmed a hand down his wool frock coat to cup his manhood. Severus' hand grasped her wrist and stopped her from touching him intimately.
"I'm not Tom," he whispered as he passed a hand over her face. You will see him soon. Now go."
***
As Ginny made her way into Hogsmeade with the rest of the sixth-years who had been given "special permission" to go out and have an evening in the village, she began to feel strangely light and calm. The haze of Professor Snape looking like Tom went away like a fog that had lifted from her eyes. She couldn't believe she had kissed Snape and tried to seduce him. She fairly shuddered in remembering.
She didn't know why she had been gifted with such a dress. It was the palest of greens, like a silvery, mint silk with a matching wrap to stave off the evening spring chill. She loved how the pearl bead work on the bodice had looked in the mirror. Her red hair was loose and long down her back. She had thought to pull it up, but Snape had insisted she remain simply her lovely self. She wore the lightest of powders and the lightest of lip-gloss to shine her lips. She felt like an elfin princess in her small ballet flats that matched the silvery hue of her dress. The other girls declared she was gorgeous, and how could Harry not be jealous with her leaving the castle wearing such a dress?
Ginny drifted along with her classmates, smiling and chatting, but she wasn't there, really. She was waiting, waiting for Tom, so she could see him again.
She and a couple of girlfriends stopped off at the Three Broomsticks, and after drinking a glass of butterbeer, she excused herself and went to the loo where she was followed by a hooded man.
Lucius Malfoy.
His covering could not mask the blond hair peeking from out of the black material. She made to scream, but he clamped a hand over her face. He picked her up and Apparated into a glen.
He stood her on her feet and, with a wave of his wand that he took from his cane, he vanished his black robes. He was elegantly dressed and looked every bit the gentleman.
"Ginevra," he whispered. "You have nothing to fear from me." His hand dropped from her mouth, and she shook with fear. "Look around you, Ginevra." He waved his hand gracefully around them. "This is what you have been born for, not that hovel in a filthy wasteland. You are a pure-blood, and I have come to bring you to your rightful station. The Dark Lord has waited for you. You are now old enough to be his consort."
Ginny's face relaxed. "Tom?" she asked weakly. "Tom is waiting for me?" she whispered.
Lucius smiled as he caressed her glossy, red hair. "Yes, that's right. He's waiting me to bring you to him. He has longed for you for so many years. Now, you and he will finally be reunited. How does that make you feel?" he asked with concern in his tone.
Ginny smiled. "I've dreamt of this moment. I..." She dropped her face and closed her mouth.
Lucius looked at her with pity. His grey eyes were forlorn in their expression. "Oh, Miss Weasley, you can tell me. I am the Dark Lord's most trusted servant. Soon, I shall be your servant as well as my wife and son. Entrust me with your secrets," he said soothingly.
Ginny whispered as she raised her head. "I have very intense dreams of him. He comes in my dreams, into my mind, and we reminisce about what we once had and what we could have again. He does things... makes me feel things."
"You do so long for him in return your feelings don't you?" Lucius whispered as he stroked her hand delicately.
"Yes," she admitted softly. "Please, I need to see him!"
Lucius took her arm and enfolded it within his own. Ginny walked into the gardens of Malfoy Manor. Evening shade and dark butterfly bushes were lush and fragrant around her. The two peacocks she knew the Malfoys kept as pets lazily strutted along the manicured lawn.
"Your gardens are charming," she whispered.
"Soon," he drawled, "all of this will be yours. Everything I own, I willingly give to the Dark Lord."
He led her up the stairs and brought her inside the lavish manor. Crystal and silver shone from every surface. The lighting created a sense of warm and welcome. She turned to Lucius and inquired, "Am I acceptable? My dress, is it appropriate?"
Lucius smoothed her hair lightly and said with a shining smile, "You are the picture of loveliness. The Dark Lord will be most pleased."
"Where is he?" she asked eagerly.
"Allow me to lead you," he offered with a slight bow.
Lucius walked Ginny upstairs where the Dark Lord's bedroom was located. Ginny noticed his unease.
"Is there a problem?" she asked.
"No, my dear, I just need to go see if the Dark Lord is prepared for you," he said with a strained smile.
He tapped on the door, and it swung open of its own accord. Tom was alone, wearing a dark green and silver robe that swept the floor as he walked. He turned, and Ginny saw him look towards Lucius. She only could see her Tom, her wonderful, handsome Tom.
"My Lord," Lucius said as he bowed.
"Is she here?" Voldemort snapped angrily.
"Just outside. I wanted to make sure you were alone," he said uncomfortably.
Voldemort smiled cruelly. "Afraid of Bellatrix ruining the evening?"
Lucius nodded. "More or less. The last thing we need is for fucking Bellatrix to frighten off the young woman."
Voldemort laughed coldly. "No matter. I am the master here. Now, bring me my bride," he said commandingly.
Ginny stepped back from where she was eavesdropping and bypassed Lucius as she came inside with her arms reaching out for him.
"Tom," she whispered as she dashed to him. "I missed you, so!"
She began to feel afraid. She pulled out of his arms and said worriedly, "Tom, aren't you pleased to see me?"
"You are pleased to see me?" he asked coolly.
"Oh, yes," she replied.
He kept his eyes on her. "Leave us, Lucius," he snapped.
"Very good, my Lord," Lucius whispered.
Ginny heard the door click shut, and Tom took her face into his hands. "I cannot stop thinking of you, my pet. You are going to remain with me. Has Lucius told you?" he asked.
"Oh, yes," she answered.
His thumbs stroked her pink cheeks. "You will never leave me, Ginevra. Never. Do you understand?" he asked, looking at her intensely.
"Yes, Tom, I understand," she accepted.
He pulled her to him and kissed her passionately. She closed her eyes and remembered all the dreams and promises he had made. She felt desperate for him, yet Snape's voice was nagging her brain. Tom was kissing her neck and sliding his hand over her body.
"Tom," Ginny whispered, "If I am to be your consort, we must share more of our minds. I loved it when we wrote to each other, you were pouring yourself into me, and I was pouring myself into you. You told me you wanted me to save you, Tom. I want to help you. I want to do everything and anything you need."
"You do, Ginny?" he whispered as he glided a hand across one of her breasts. Her nipple reacted to the touch, and she choked out a whimper she was trying to hide.
He laughed darkly as he whispered against her lips, "I have found a hidden treasure." He urged the hardening point to rise and react to his touch. However, Ginny remained focused.
"We must be powerful," she said as she pushed his lips from her. She looked into his eyes, the dark brown eyes that called her from deep inside. "You and I will create a new breed of wizards. We will be indestructible and prevailing. No one can stop us. Not Dumbledore or Snape...no one!"
She began to stroke his neck and chest delicately. "I want you to open your mind to me, let us share again what we once did," she whispered.
He kissed her hard and desperately. "Only if you give me your innocence. I need to possess you," he hissed.
"I am a virgin and a pure-blood. You cannot expect me to give up what is owed me!" she replied frantically.
"Of course," he replied. Then without warning, he tore the dress off her and threw her on the bed. She scrambled to get away, but Tom was lying completely on top of her.
Terrified, Ginny screamed, "No! Not like this. Don't, please!"
"Be still!" he snapped. He pushed her thighs apart and lightly touched her small curls covering her sex. He pushed one finger inside her and rotated it around.
"Yes, my bride," he groaned as he brushed her lips with his own. "You are pure. I can feel you around my finger. You will learn to satisfy me, and in return, I will bring you all the pleasure you deserve." Ginny stiffened as he continued to explore her barrier. She was petrified he was going to break her and make her bleed.
Instead, his mood changed, and he was holding her, gently stroking her naked breasts with his fingertips. "We are connected, you and I. You are in my blood. My word is law. If I say we are married, it shall make it so. You are in me, Ginevra. I feel you closer to me than any woman has ever been. I long to feel myself inside you."
Ginny kept her body close to his. "I want to please you, and I want to know everything about you. Open your mind to me, Tom," she whispered against his cheek.
"I will tell you everything," he said desperately, "I must have you, Ginny."
"Tell me about your deepest secrets of immortality. I want to stay with you forever," she said as she began to stroke the length of his erection though the silky fabric of his robe. She easily shifted the robe open, licked her index finger, and slid it down the shaft. "Tell me first how to be immortal like you, and I shall do more than this," she whispered seductively.
She teased and fed his lust as he whispered to her all of the secrets of his madness. As he was nearing the end of his confession, he spoke of splintering her soul, of making her his equal in every way. As he grew more eager, she began to stroke him, and he choked on his desire and roared out an explosive orgasm that left him weak and near sleep.
He cupped her face, and as he slipped into slumber, he whispered, "You are mine."
"And you are mine," she whispered as watched him close his eyes to sleep.
She hastily repaired her dress and stole out of the bedroom quietly, padding her way cautiously down the stairs.
"Lucius!" she hissed "Lucius!"
A house-elf popped in front of her and bowed gravely. "I am being Mr. Malfoy's most personal house-elf. Is Miss requiring him?"
Ginny swallowed and drew her wrap closer to her. "Yes, I need him now," she whispered. The house-elf popped away, and she nervously put her shoes back on while she waited. She hid herself in a corner and watched as Lucius came walking down the corridor.
"My dear!" he said concernedly. "Has something gone amiss? Where is His Lordship?"
"Shh," she said calmly. "He's sleeping. I think he... overexerted himself. I have many things to do. My mother and father must be informed, and a wedding must be planned at the soonest possible date."
Lucius smiled and bowed gracefully as he took Ginny's hand in his own. "My Lady, I am yours to command," he said as he gave her the customary kiss one inch above her skin.
Ginny was a poor witch. Nevertheless, she was a pure-blood and knew the traditions and expectations of her.
Ginny was growing anxious. "Lucius, I must depart. If my mother were to discover I was alone for so long with my fiancé, I would be in so much trouble. Not that my family will approve of my marriage to Tom, of course, but the proprieties must be observed. I must remain a virgin on my wedding night in order for there to be no whisperings behind my back," she said urgently.
She went to open the door when the small house-elf popped in front of her opening it for her.
"My Lady," said Lucius, "No one would dare to insult or even speak of such a delicate matter concerning your marital bed," he reasoned.
"Be that as it may, Lucius, there are fools amongst the Death Eaters. I do not want to see anyone dead on my wedding day because of a stupid comment at the wrong place and time. All of the old rules must be observed. The bridal sheet must be shown to the guests as proof of my purity taken. Now, let's go to the Burrow," she said authoritatively.
She swept out the door as if she owned it herself and waited for Lucius to take her arm. She could tell he was very reluctant to depart, but he had to comply with the Dark Lord's intended. Ginny smirked inwardly at her ability to read his mind so clearly. His emotions were so obvious on his face.
***
Lucius took her to the Burrow where the house was already vacant. He walked around in the darkness and finally lit his wand. He looked panicked and unsure of himself.
"My Lady, there seems to be no one about," he said in confusion. Ginny glanced around and found the Portkey that would take her away from this nightmare laying right on the mantle where Harry told her it would be.
"Don't worry, Lucius," she said calmly. "Many times my family must go to their Order meetings...and no, Lucius, I cannot tell you the location," She saw the glimmer of hope in his eyes. "I'm not the Secret-Keeper."
Lucius shrugged. "You cannot blame me for trying," he said amiably.
"Please sit, Lucius," she said. "I will need to wait I suppose for their return. Hopefully, it shall only be Mum and Dad returning, and not my brothers." She turned to face him. "Are you sure you want to confront the Weasley clan?" she asked, hoping to frighten him away.
"Oh, no," he said pleasantly as he ran a hand across a sofa chair, looking for dust. "I wouldn't dream of leaving you alone with so many people who would attempt to interfere with the Dark Lord's plan."
Ginny was growing increasingly nervous. He was becoming suspicious. Soon, he would realize this was all a ruse and then force her back into his Manor and lock her up with Tom, who would rape her without any remorse or conscious.
She let a nice distance grow between them and then she swiftly snatched the Portkey, activating it, and was transported straight into Dumbledore's office.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Longing
505 Reviews | 6.88/10 Average
As a person who has and still is struggling with recurrent major depression, I know all the cognitive distortions that a woman can have, who then resorts to cutting. Snapey is Forever My Prince, but his hostility and loathing towards Hermione makes me wanna get Medieval on his Hiney ~ the utter bastard he's being. Hypocrite too,knowing that all that bile should be self directed.
Thank you for your note at the beginning of this chapter. When I was not so much younger than I am now I cut myself to release the 'pain' I was feeling. A combination of childhood trauma and abuse (mental) and frustrations with education and career had choices eventually drove me to do it on occasion throughout my life. You described the feelings that would drive a person to this sort of behavior perfectly in the previous chapter. I have friends who find cutters disgusting and I speak only to explain that sometimes people are driven nearly out of their mind with despondency. I hope your readers can try to understand that mental illness is not disgusting but something that must be accepted and understood in order to help those in need.
Oh god. I didn't notice the author's name. I'm sorry if I've disturbed anyone.
Rest in peace Livvy.
Oh god. I didn't notice the author's name. I'm sorry if I've disturbed anyone.
Rest in peace Livvy.
Thank you for your note at the beginning of this chapter. When I was not so much younger than I am now I cut myself to release the 'pain' I was feeling. A combination of childhood trauma and abuse (mental) and frustrations with education and career had choices eventually drove me to do it on occasion throughout my life. You described the feelings that would drive a person to this sort of behavior perfectly in the previous chapter. I have friends who find cutters disgusting and I speak only to explain that sometimes people are driven nearly out of their mind with despondency. I hope your readers can try to understand that mental illness is not disgusting but something that must be accepted and understood in order to help those in need.
Lovely well written. So,so much emotion abounding is this. I cried for all Hermione went through, both the good and the bad. A very touchy subject handled very well.
This would be an EXCELLENT story if not for the 'she luuuuuurvs him' aspect. A teenager may fancy a teacher, but 'love' comes from a reciprical relationship. This ship uses this trope ad naseum, and it's ridiculous. And she now still has feelings for him, even after all this? After he has shown himself to be a callous son of a bitch? I can't buy into it.
I really wanted to like this story, I really did. There are brilliant aspects. But now this is just a huge cliche-fest. She still loves him, he loves her, oh joy the world is rosy again! Ugh. Please. After what he put her through she wouldn't be able to stand the sight of him, never mind still 'love' him or allow him to touch her. And Snape.....I'm just shaking my head. Poor, lonely, misunderstood Snape, huh? And now he 'loves' Hermione??? I'm guessing you're either very young or you prefer the Harlequin Romance type of stories. There was so much potential in this story.
I don't usually read SS/HG stories, and I don't usually read stories this OOC, but I just wanted to comment - that even if Hermione wasn't completely raped (the act of intercourse did not occur with a man) - the damage emotionally from what DID happen to her is tremendous - and she may as well have been raped by every person there - especially Bella - something like that does not just shake somone up - something like that first chapter would make someone suicidal.
I think my biggest problem with this story, thus far, is how insignificant the first chapter's events has been recieved by the professors - Dumbledore, McGonagall, Flitwick - and who ever might know of the event - are all canny people - they're also old enough to know such horrors - what happened to Hermione is torturous, and for her to just "go back to classes" after a few days - is bizzare enough, but without any other help than a pat on the shoulder and a few kind words from Dumbles or her head of house - that to me, seems really bizzare.
If this situation happened today, in my world, to an 18-year old woman - she'd be placed on leave from school/work and likely put on suicide watch as well as immediatly put into counseling. This is a very close subject for me (sexual abuse) and it bothers me to see it written so casually - or the reaction of Hermione's "allies" at least.
Hermione hurting herself was very disturbing and I wanted to strangle Snape for doing that to her!!! She had to almost die for him to finaly admit his feelings! But I'm glad it worked.
I just hope she won't do that whenever she'll feel down...it wouldn't be fair to her or her loved ones..or it can became a sort of blackmail if she won't be carefull..do as I say or I'll cut myself...
He broke her and then he put her together again...they were lucky, some are not so fortunate. I'm glad they ended up together.
Great story. Thank you.
How did Harry get everyone out of the infirmary so that he could be with Ginny?
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
He just closed off the curtained area and made it silent to others. HE probably did a Notice-Me-Not-Spell. Either way, I think no one, not even Molly would want to ruin a private moment. Everyone knows that Ginny is the one Harry loves and vice-versa. At least that's how I see it. Even if Molly objected, I think Arthur would have demanded her to come along and stop being so blessed nosy! Arthur does have his moments ;)Thanks for reviewing!Livvy
Ginny was so brave! And so was Harry. Will Dumbledore stop using Severus and Harry now? Can the at last have some small amount of peace?
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
I think Dumbledore will be hard-pressed to get Snape to do anything so dangerous again. He is done with the past and wants to make a new start with Hermione. He's ready to let go and allow love to lead him.Thanks for reviewing!Livvy
Thank you for having Severus prepare Ginny. I was worried. He really is a Master Spy. She did better than I expected. Poor Lucius. He is in sooooo much trouble.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
LOL! Yes, trouble all around in Voldemort's camp. I'm glad Ginny and Snape's talk was sufficient for you to feel what was coming believable for Ginny to go through. Ginny is a tough gal :)Thanks for reviewing!Livvy
I don't feel like Ginny has been given enough preparation for this "bargining" tonight. She's just a lamb. I hope the Molly in her comes out. She needs the Molly Weasely strength but the subtlety of a Slytherin. She isn't recieving much emotional support for this terrifying event. I am hoping Minerva can help her until it's time to go with Lucius. If she is smart and careful, she might be able to get information from Lucius that will help her. She hasn't been told there will be healers there to make sure she is fertile. Now, Hermione needs to learn to trust Severus. She seems more infatuated than truely in love. Does she really want all of him or does she just want to be desired by him? She's afraid of him. How can she truely love him, give him her heart and be afraid of him at the same time? He needs her heart as much as she needs his. He is only human. He is a man with many insecurities. Does she realize this? Without giving away whom it was, it might help her to know a little bit of his story with Lily. I think since Dumbledore is happy to meddle for the greater good, it would be good for him to give Hermione a little bit of sympathy for his scorned heart in the past and why he had been so afraid to give it again. She has no appreciation for what a leap into the flames he has taken when he declared his love for her. I feel she is only thinking of his power to hurt her. She really needs more imformation to understand how fragile he is and her power over him.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
Wait until next chapter. Ginny will get a talk that will get her head straight. As for Hermione, she loves Severus, but is scared of him. He is a man and he ahd made it clear that she couldn't be woman enough for him. That stuff lingers. You can;t take stuff like that back. Snape will have to prove his sincerity to Hermione for her to feel at ease with him. All she feels is that she is still inadequate and very hopeless.Thanks for reviewing!Livvy
Expert story weaving, that! It must have been difficult to write this chapter without it being salaciously creepy. I hope Hermione understands what he has told her about dark magic. Harry did very well. Your Harry is the Harry I shall always think of from now on. I really like this Harry. Poor Ginny. This isn't over for her. She will be used for the greater good just like Severus and Harry have been and shall be still. Our Hermione is so young. I know she and Severus belong together, but he may be more than she is mature enough for. Her imaturity prevents her from being able to comprehend what a powerful, dark and complex man she is in love with and also happens to worship her. She needs to accept that though he has chosen the light, he is a dark wizard with a great deal more life experience than she has had. Severus Snape comes with a lot of baggage. She needs to come to grips with that if they are to have a successful relationship. There are sides to him that are down right scary. He would be a lot to handle for any woman. While she needn't allow him to be purposely cruel to her, she needs to have some understanding for the horrors he has faced and the horrible things he has been compelled to do for the greater good. She needs to be willing to take the whole package without judging him. While it isn't an excuse to hurt her, his life really has sucked! He could use a little TLC himself.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
Baggage is right. Snape, Harry, Hermione, and Ginny are all wounded people with baggage. At some point something will have to give and a leap of faith will be required. Snape has serious ass-kissing to do. He has really screwed the pooch with this. But Hermione will have to stop her "victim" mode in order to meet him half-way.Thanks for reviewing!Livvy
Bless his heart. I hope she tells him that he means as much to her as she does to him. He deserves to be rewarded with loving words to match his own.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
Yes, Hermione will have no trouble accepting his words of love. Severus is such a man of action that her eagerness to be with him will be more than enough. Her choosing him is what he was afraid would never happen. They will be okay.Thanks for reviewing!Livvy
I don't know what to say. So many people missing so many opportunities to spare another from pain. I was a little surprised when Snape left her crying there. I thought he would rise to the occation and tell her he loved her, but I underestimated how much his own lack of selfworth still controled him. Stupid man...I say that with a certain amount of fondness. I'm not angry at him, just shaking my head at how stupid men can be when it comes to women's emotional needs. I know he never meant to hurt her when he left her there. But in his heart he knew what she needed and he couldn't gather the courage to do it. Just being a stupid man. "Although we adore them individually, as a group you must agree their rather stupid." (a line from a song in Disney's Mary Poppins) Couldn't Minerva have given him some gentle advice before she sent Hermione down there? Given in the right way, I believe he would have listened. I suppose she has no idea he's in love with Hermione. But Albus knows. Couldn't Albus have shared that information in confidence with Minerva? Even with all her proper ways, taken in context, she would have been better prepared to help both Hermione and Severus if she knew. And had Albus not told Severus not to let Hermione know he was watching over her at all. He didn't leave any opening for Severus to tell Hermione how much he cared for her.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
Yeah, Snape punked out. His emotional maturity stopped at age seven, I think. Inside, he's a scared little boy wanting love badly, but afraid to ask and accept, thinking it will only bite him in the end. He just has plain old-fashioned problems that can;t be solved with potion-making or talking his way out of it. He's going to have to face the fire. But, yes, he screwed up badly.Thanks for reviewing!Livvy
I suppose he thinks it is unethical to tell her how he really feels about her, a student. But this is not a normal situation and her life depends on it. He needs to tell her how he really feels about her and why he was so cruel. He needs to hold her and let her cry while he whispers how precious she is to him into her ear. He may as well give them both permission to fall in love with the condition that nothing can come of it until she is of age. I know he thinks his reputation will sully her, but can't he see that she only cares what he thinks and not what anyone else thinks? They need each other.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
SNape is still not ready. He has a strong moral ethic about propriety and his private life being private. He still thinks this is something that can be contained. He'll be schooled in how wrong he's being later. He's got some growing up to do.Thanks!Livvy
It's about time Dumbledore came to his senses somewhat. I can't imagine what will come of Severus watching over her but not speaking to her. I think it would help Hermione at some point soon, if Dumbledore talks to her about Severus' feelings for her. Not to ask her to forgive Severus but to help her understand why he had been so horribly cruel to her. She needs to know in order to heal. She needs to know he never thought any of those things about her in reality.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
This is penance for Severus. Dumbledore wants Severus to really SEE Hermione. He could talk until he was blue in the face, but Snape is a man that needs to experience things on his own. Yes, Hermione needs to know. But things take time.Thanks for reviewing!Livvy
I've never approved of the way the children are always sent back to their dorms after frightening or traumatic events without first having the opportunity to decompress with an adult. The girls need to be taken back to Minerva's office, given tea and have a chance to express their fears and anger. They need to recieve councel and comfort from their head of house. I also hope they will all keep quiet and not tell the rest of the student body about what Hermione has done to herself. I am hoping Ginny makes sure Parvati and Lavander keep this between themselves. Ron and Harry don't need the gory details either. Ginny has her experience with Tom Riddle as reference. To my knowledge, no one ever helped Ginny cope with that trauma. What can I say for Severus. I'm glad Dumbledore had the wisdom to let him heal Hermione. I suppose he thinks Severus is getting what he deserves when it comes to Ginny being his enemy. If I was Poppy I'd be pissed too. I don't think she was told the extent to which Severus has already seen Hermione nude. It isn't very fair to her if Dumbledore doesn't give her more information so that she knows what she's dealing with.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
I agree whole-hardheartedly, but it is just not how things are done. Ginny will become a main character and will protect Hermione fiercely. I hope you continue to enjoy the tale!Thanks for reviewing,Livvy
Lycanthropy! That is how clueless Severus is regardig the power of his words to wound one Hermione Jane Granger. I wish he'd use ligilimense on her and see what damage he is doing. I know he knows he's a total bastard, but with a self image no better than Hermione's he can't imagine she would care so much more about what he thought about her than she did anyone else. If he knew the damage he was doing, I think he would stop. His hatred toward her is his armor. When he finds out, if he finds out, Hell, next thing you know, he might be cutting himself for doing that to her. Why has Dumbledore instisited no one speak of that evening? Why doesn't he see that people need to decompress after such an event. I understand his desire to stop possible gossip through the student body. But, he obviously expects Hermione just to stuff it all down and forget about it, like Ginny with Tom Riddle. Is that what Dumbledore does with his pain? I find denial to be very helpful. But somtimes it does affect my functioning. I sleep too much and avoid things. Denial I guess, is my drug of choice. "Prentend it isn't real and it never really happened." "Hurry think of something else that can't hurt you as fast as possible. Just change the channel" "Go to sleep and don't think. Just put the pillow over your head and think about make belive things that don't hurt you because they aren't real."
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
Dumbledore is so concerned with his "Greater Good" that people are mere pawns in the process. I think you have something in common with SNape. Denial is how he functions. He rationalizes and sticks to a version of the past that is most comfortable for him and never allows for that to change. Severus has been isolated and an outsider for so long, he can only think of his ways of handling things - but there is one problem: he can't risk Hermione knowing the extent of his feelings. It is his defense mechanism. He'd rather she hated him and somehow be safe than to know he loves her and be a target. It's a rough road Snape must walk.Thanks for reviewing!Livvy
I agree this behavior is very in character for Hermione. I can even see where it could make perfect sense to her, even though I've never known much about self mutilation other than it exists. I've never given it any thought before, but I could totally see something like this happening to Hermione. Dumbledore is canny enough to see there is more to Snape's vitrol toward Hermione than meets the eye. I hope it occurs to him that Severus doth protest too much. There are also other pieces to the puzzle that is Snape that I would hope he would notice. Dumbledore must have been at least a little bit surprised that he would give away his cover to protect Hermione's honor. He knows he's required Severus to hurt innocent people before and Snape has complied. What was different this time, that she was a student and an Order member? Would he expect Severus to blow his cover for any student or Order member? He wasn't being asked to kill her. Also, he knows Snape is immature socially. When I was a girl in elementary school, if a boy liked a girl he often teased her mercilessly and was overtly mean to her. Does Dumbledore recognize this immature brand of infatuation; his students are usually old enough to be past that stage? Does he even care enough about Severus Snape to see he is being emotionally self distructive not only distructive toward Hermione? Has he already given Severus up as someone who is dispensible "for the sake of the greater good" and therefore, divorced himself from too much emotional attachment to Snape? He did say he had other spies. On the Hermione side of things, I am a bit surprised that Poppy didn't run any diagnostic spells on Hermione no matter how much she would never suspect her of lying. Hermione could tell her that her periods have been very heavy, irregular and unusually frequent and that is why she is anemic. If she were thinking straight, this might be a good way to perhaps get ahold of blood replenishing potion. If she hasn't over taxed her magicall abilities too far, I would think she might consider putting a glamor on her injuries in the future, in case Poppy wants to examine her. Since it wouldn't be something she would expect from Hermione, Poppy might not notice. But like any self distructive addiction, people do get sloppy when they have lost perspective and the normal instinct for self preservation. She is now in an abnormal self preserving mode. I wouldn't expect her to be reasoning as well as she normally would.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
Dumbledore and his "greater good" just makes my blood boil. He was a master manipulator who used people as pawns. And all that Snape had done for the Order, he was still seen as disposable.Hermione is sloppy. Her mind is consumed with her doubts and all the terrible things Snape said. She has made it mean more than anything else. It shows her desperation to be loved. She is very much like Severus: unable to emotionally withstand and communicate needs.Thanks for reviewing!Livvy
"I have endured more tortures and humiliations than that-swot-could ever imagine, and you are worried about her feelings being hurt?" If only Dumbledore had been as concerned for Severus' feelings back when he was a student and was ridiculed and abused by Dumbledore's Gryffindors. Does he know how his own mean and careless attitude when Severus had been through his own "harrowing ordeal", having almost been killed by a werewolf purposely set upon him by other studants, affected the very fabric of who Severus Snape was so much that he would join Voldemort? Dumbledore is a hypocrite. Are Albus or Minerva fretting over Severus' pain from the dark mark? I am sorry for Hermione, but I am just as sorry for Severus. How could he help but to UNDERESTIMATE his ability to wound with words? Shame on you Dumbledore. If he is so worried about Hermione's reaction to Severus' words, why didn't he try to mitigate the damage by helping her understand some things about the man and why he would be such a verbally cruel person in order to take some of the sting away?
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
Spot on. Dumbledore is as culpable for Severus turning to the Dark as any Death Eater. There are answers as to why Severus' was so deliberately cruel.Thanks for reviewing!Livvy
Damn frustrating. Both love the other and they are each so afraid that they each stop just before the other is convinced it is real. They give enough to stir the heart but never enough to fill the emptyness. One of them is going to have to take a leap of faith and throw themself on the fire. Severus tried. He really tried. I hope she thinks it through an believes him.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
Once the damage is done, it takes a lot to undo the damage. Snape has years of making up for and it won;t be easy for Hermione to accept and believe him. She is still so very wounded by his words because it cut into the very center of her insecurity of not being attractive enough to get a boy to notice her. Rough stuff.Thanks for reviewing!Livvy
Forgive me. I normally don't read dark fics. I read only SS/HG fan fiction for the most part and this is my way to escape the darkness in real life, so I had to read the last chapter before I decided if I could read this story. I saw there were so many who had made it a favorite. I'm glad I did. This will be a wonderful story, I can tell from all of the reviews. Knowing there is hope will help make the dark places more barable. And so it begins.
Response from livvy6 (Author of Longing)
Thank you so much for reviewing! I hope you keep enjoying.Livvy