When Needs Must...
Chapter 3 of 26
sweetflagWhen Hermione discovers that an incurable Snape has been left to waste in a secret hospital ward, she sets out to do what so many have failed to do before and cure him.
This is my response to the Dictionary Drabble Challenge. The chapters have to be less than one thousand words and contain the listed words.
ReviewedDelay her!
He twisted the mop head in the bucket and then slopped it onto the floor. Wands were forbidden in sub rosa unless some emergency dictated otherwise, and many of the chores, therefore, had to be done by hand. He didn’t mind; since the first insurgence of the corruption that was Voldemort, he had had little desire to perform magic; events had rendered him despairing of it. Soapy water oozed out over the dark, tiled floor, and he began the soothing motion of cleaning while his mind was free to ruminate over the task of delaying Miss Granger.
An idea had popped into his head almost as soon as the words had emerged from the hulked thing. How odd that several years ago he would never have thought to obtrude in any way, and yet now, he was foisting his will and intentions upon a few highly influential people. Swallowing the bile and his discomfort, he began to mop with angry vim and reluctantly planned his meeting with Minerva.
~X~
The NEWT timetable was, on paper, less busy than the one constructed for the OWLs, but each highlighted session was an intense, two-hour long battle to absorb as much as possible without the brain collapsing in terror. No wonder they were called Nearly Exhausting! It had bothered her immensely at first, the notion that she was struggling and not doing them aright, but her doubts had been assuaged when she observed the same tensions resting upon the shoulders of her peers.
Next to her, Ron moaned and slumped across the desk. “Is being an Auror worth this?” he whined. “I mean, all the nasty Dark wizards have been got rid off—we did that last year!”
It was a familiar Friday afternoon ritual and Hermione let it drift over her; Ron and Harry generally became more restless as the weekend neared and the chance to release the week’s tension on a broom became so teasingly close. She was wise enough to see it as a natural vent, and she was glad of it, recalling the often repeated tirade of the final year student that they had suffered while being students at Hogwarts. While Ron grumbled under his breath, she daintily turned the page, her eyes lapping up the words and her mind thrumming with the theories it disclosed. It was a soothing distraction from her anxieties regarding Snape.
It was a special kind of lure, though; she never moved far away from the thought of putting things right for Snape, and if Ron suspected that she diverted a large proportion of her free time to that task then he said little about it. Perhaps it allayed his fears about his own dedication to the Quidditch team and the hours of practice it demanded.
They parted company at the base of the main staircase in the entrance hall; Ron gave her a peck on the cheek, and Harry waved at her before Ginny swept up, and with wide grins, they hurried down to the broom sheds and the Quidditch pitch. Clutching a book to her chest, she watched them until the curve of the path led them out of her line of sight, and then sighing, she turned and began the long walk to her room.
It was reassuring that the general day-to-day activities of school-life had dulled the impact of them being in school, and as she passed groups of students, they barely battered an eyelid—such a relief after the stares, whispers and awed questions that had pestered them at the start of the year. Absorbed in her own thoughts, it was only at the last moment that she saw Headmistress McGonagall approaching her.
The Office had changed since the last occupant; the gadgets had gone, and a few more potted plants erupted in various corners, and of course, there was Dumbledore smiling down upon her from his portrait.
“I’m afraid to say, Hermione, that after consideration, your excursions from the school will have to cease.”
Hermione blinked and then felt her lips twitch in a bemused smile. “But, it was all agreed; I was to have personal free-time beyond the school.”
“Certain issues have been raised regarding your safety; if you are outside our walls then we cannot ensure your safety at a time when we have that responsibility.”
Frowning, Hermione licked her lips, and Ron’s earlier argument sprang to mind. Without the chance to leave the school, she would have no chance to continue her visits to Snape—unless….
~X~
“Your method of delaying her was exquisitely simple.”
He bowed his head in mock gratitude. “I expected her to cadge for leniency,” he said quietly and with a hint of scepticism. Her acceptance of the situation had been too… quick and it made him wary.
The hunched being gave the impression of shrugging dismissively before a series of wheezes and dry coughs wracked the twisted form.
“You did well,” it finally rasped out. “Well enough… for a reward of sorts.”
The old man’s lip curled up in disgust—disgust at the flutter of excitement in his gut and the way that he was compelled to dangle on the end of the creature’s hook… but the bait was irresistible.
“I seem to recall… being courted by a rather… dashing boulevardier,” she uttered in a wistful, breathless whisper. “He told the Dark Lord… of a suitable place for His more… lavish experiments and interrogations.”
Despite his appalled stance and the hate coursing through him, he leant closer to catch the thing’s quiet and struggling speech. He knew that it could just be another dead end, but he couldn’t take the risk that this would be the place where his love’s tortured body lay unclaimed. Until he found her body and put her to rest, he was tied to the thing chuckling in the chair.
“A small cottage on the… outskirts of a Muggle mire… called Potemkin village.” She emitted a hideous, chilling cackle. “Such a… wonderfully apt name.”
Author’s Notes: Words and the definitions are listed below.
1. tirade
2. obtrude
3. Potemkin village
4. boulevardier
5. cadge
6. aright
7. ruminate
----------- Words with Definitions ---------------
tirade \TY-raid; tih-RAID\, noun:
A long angry speech; a violent denunciation; a prolonged outburst
full of censure or abuse.
-------
obtrude \uhb-TROOD; ob-\, transitive verb:
1. To thrust out; to push out.
2. To force or impose (one's self, remarks, opinions, etc.) on others
with undue insistence or without solicitation.
3. To thrust upon a group or upon attention; to intrude.
---------------
Potemkin village \puh-TEM(P)-kin\, noun:
An impressive facade or display that hides an undesirable fact or
state; a false front.
--------------
boulevardier \boo-luh-var-DYAY; bul-uh-\, noun:
1. A frequenter of city boulevards, especially in Paris.
2. A sophisticated, worldly, and socially active man; a man who
frequents fashionable places; a man-about-town.
------------
cadge \KAJ\, transitive verb:
1. To beg or obtain by begging; to sponge.
2. To beg; to sponge.
--------------
aright \uh-RYT\, adverb:
Rightly; correctly; properly; in a right way or manner.
-------------------
ruminate \ROO-muh-nayt\, intransitive verb:
1. To chew the cud; to chew again what has been slightly chewed and
swallowed. "Cattle free to ruminate." --Wordsworth.
2. To think again and again; to muse; to meditate; to ponder; to
reflect.
3. To chew over again.
4. To meditate or ponder over; to muse on.
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Latest 25 Reviews for For Him
267 Reviews | 5.69/10 Average
Gosh... Can't you authors make things less complicated and angsty for once? ;))
Magnificent first chapter! Why isn't this fanfic completed yet?
This is very nice. (At least the last part, not Bella, of course.) Hermione's conflicts are very clear and believable, and I love the way you've shown young Sev. I'm a bit worried about older Severus--I'd like to see him a bit stronger, since it looks as if Bella will find him soon. But I wonder where Lucius has got to, now? Sorry to hear about your hands--that can be really painful. Have you tried a dictation program? They're amazing, once you learn them and get them used to your voice.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you again. It's reassuring for me that the characters and their interactions are believable. I've never really considered the dictation program--partly because I had no idea that such a thing existed, and partly because I find it very difficult to talk when I'm writing. That probably makes no sense, but everything seems to go straight from brain to fingers. Thank you... I'm hoping the fingers will start to behave soon, as most of my hobbies and work involves them. On the other hand, I do have a good excuse now as to why my granny squares look like some temporal distortion as seen on Star Trek.
You write so much better when you aren't trying to fit it around the vocabulary words! You clearly have a wonderful, convoluted plot in mind (assuming that all the threads eventually come together), and yet I have frequently been tempted to abandon your story, reading it through, because of the awkwardness of the language. It's never wise to try to use arcane words based only on their definitions, since the words you were given all have hooks and connotations and if you aren't fully familiar with the universe of the words you use, you can make errors that are really jarring--especially in writing that is otherwise smooth and competent. . I'm so glad the challenge is over, and I look forward to the rest of the story. (Except Bella, who is simply disgusting--those fingers!)
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for your review and kind words. The drabble challenge was thrilling and... challenging. Trying to get it all done in less than 1,000 words was also very trying. I'm so glad that you managed to get past the vocabulary. My ignorance must have shone through quite a lot in the chapters, but I did enjoy the challenge of learning new words and trying to do them justice; I think it helped me quite a lot. It was great fun. Thank you again for the review.
"Armed with his wit—a wit that had kept him dancing just one step ahead of death for decades—and a fierce determination to discover if he could finally call himself free, Snape rode his anger like a devil and stepped into the storm."That? Is one of the most glorious sentences I've read in a long time. It made me *shiver* with pleasure and anticipation.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for the review, and I'm sorry for the delay in response. I'm so thrilled that the line was a good one. Thank you for reading.
VERY INTERESTING READING. WHAT SUSPENSE! I FOUND THIS STORY AGAIN, I READ IT LAST YEAR AND ITS STILL WHERE IT WAS, I HOPE YOU ARE WORKING ON AN UPDATE. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE. YOU HAVE ME HOOKED! ;D
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello. It's lovely to read your review. I am working, very slowly; I have had to put writing on hold for quite a while now. I hope to get back to everything 'fanfiction' in the next few weeks.
wow...just wow. this is so well written and interestingly plotted. thanks so much
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello again :) Thanks for reading!Thank you for those kind words. Hope you enjoy the rest of this tale.
This reality is terrifying. Will Snape be able to hold on to his sanity? Who is this voice he hears?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello :) It's lovely to see you again.Thank you for the review and the stars.I know this is mean, but you'll find out :D
OK, I got lost on this chapter. I'm going to re-read it tomorrow. So far the story is pretty good though.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for that :) I hope that the next chapters make more sense.
I think Hermione should let someone else know what is going on. She is taking risks that don't need to be taken.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
True, but don't you find that logical people tend to be the last to see the logic of a situation, especially when it's personal.Thanks for the review and the stars :)
It's getting interesting. Poor Ron feels threatened by Hermione's distance I think.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you :)Ron always strikes me as being rather insecure; JKR makes him work hard for eveything.
Not bad, I'm wondering why Lucius isn't the ring leader.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Does he feel that he could be?Thanks again :)
The old man in this chapter, is he the same old man from the hospital?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Yes, he is. :)Thanks for the stars :)
Well, there is certainly some hidden agenda here.Not bad, although I'd like more description of thoughts, feelings etc. However, that may have been planned for this chapter.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review. This was in response to a Dictionary Drabble challenge, and as result, quite a few of the chapters are constrained by length and specific words to use. I didn't delve as much as I would have liked. Hopefully, the chapters will become more satisfying as they go on.I will say that I have changed the rating, as the story does darken in places; this may not yet be apparent, so I thought I'd warn you about the rating change--just in case it's now not quite your cup of tea. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)
Good start, I liked how you had Hermione as compassionate 'healing the soul, instead of the body'.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)
I as a little confused about Bella's plan as well, but then I read your reply to ClayPotter and and went all "ah!".The parts about Snape are about the best I have read in a long time! Wow! As for “I’m not crabby; I’m complicated.” I am so going to print that on a t-shirt!/M
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review :) Some aspects of this were written so long ago, that I think some pieces aren't connecting as well as they should. I will fix that!I really enjoyed going back to Snape--the poor dear has been neglected.Shucks! I should have thought of the t-shirt thing first! I will--promise!--get to your wonderful story as soon as some annoying other stuff has disappeared :)
I hate to admit this but, I am totally confused now. I can only assume that Bella put a finger inside each of Hermione and Draco, then wiped their memories clean of the horrible incident. So now she can take over either one of them at any moment as she wishes? But since she can only inhabit one person at a time, she is still inside Meadows during the house hunting incident?Please help me understand what is going on. That previous chapter was so horrifying, and this one makes no mention of their torture, or how they got out of it, or anything.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Yes, she has put a finger inside them and wiped their memories. Bella is still in Meadowes. I will do another chapter with her as the main character; she can have a chat with Meadowes about what she's planning. That should clarify things. Her idea to use Hermione and Draco was very spur of the moment, but she needed somewhere safe to keep those fingers. The fingers are her anchor points, if you like. She can site one and travel to and from it at will, or use it to fall back on if one is destroyed. Think of inns dotted along long roads: resting places for travellers heading towards their destination. She has yet to place all of them--eight remaining. She herself cannot move more than a set distance from her current anchor, so she needs the anchor to be carried--Draco and Hermione have the anchors with them at all times and carry them around--Bella doesn't have to possess either of them, but she can use them as a base to possess someone else. Bella knows that Hermione wants to help Snape and that she has access to all those who worked against Voldemort (the Order members, including Harry); all those who Bella wishes to take vengeance upon. It makes no mention, because no one knows--there are hints ... Hermione rubbing her belly, thinking that she ate something funny, but nothing else, because if they knew, they'd remove what they were carrying. Bella didn't want to torture them as such; granted, she enjoyed doing it (she IS a nutcase, remember :D), but she didn't want to create any lasting problems. I hope that clarified something... anything....
Response from ClayPotter (Reviewer)
Yes, I understand now. Thanks so much for the clarification.
Sorry. Can't read any more. Your rating is too low. The gratuitous violence of Wrapping Gifts bumps it into MA, and I'm not interested in Bella enough to continue reading this.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Fair enough. Thanks for reading thus far. I will, of course, ask one of the admins to seek their opinion on the rating and change it accordingly, and I will use their advice to rate future chapters.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for pointing out the inappropriate rating. I have upped it to M(R)--for mature teens.
ooooooo!
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Given the stars, I'm edging my bets that that was a good 'ooooooo!' :DGlad you're liking it!Thank you.
Response from keske (Reviewer)
yeah! a very good OOOOOO!
So, how are they going to get out of that?!
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
It's a bit tricky, isnt it? :DThanks for staying with this story and for reviewing :)
wow! i'm speachless! thanks so much
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Glad you liked it :)Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Hanibal Lector meets The Exorcist. I'm impressed!And as horrible Bella is, I must tell you how much I love the way you depict Lucius and Narcissa. Truly lovely./M
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)They just want their happy-ever-after. Thanks for reading... makes me all giddy with happiness :)
So far our heroes are always being out flanked by Bella. Are they ever going to win and cure Severus?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)In truth, they're not actually fighting against Bella--they have no idea that Bella is even up and around and a problem. What is happening here is taking place over a few days. I guess that posting at rather irregular intervals may be seemingly stretching this out--sorry :(The ingredients arrived on Friday, they saw 'Meadowes' on Saturday and by Wednesday, the Malfoys will be... possiby... your neighbours :DBella is following her own little agenda, and Hermione and Draco are now a huge part of that... whether they want to be or not.I can sense your possible frustration, so I'll try and get some very long chapters done to help speed this along. Many thanks for reading this story and taking the time to review :)
That was dark. How is this going to work out?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review.This is the darkest chapter in this story. I won't be delving into such shadows again. Err... are you asking if this is going to have a 'happy-ending'? Or are you just querying if the story will descend into a pure horror tale?
Response from makaem (Reviewer)
It was more of a general whine on my part. I like to guess where I think a story is headed-- in this case I'm drawing a blank, at least for anything that will bode well for Hermione. So I'll just have to wait. As for the question, I don't really expect to get an answer (although one would be nice), I stick those in a lot of my reviews. It means I like a story enough to do the equivalent of thinking outloud. But, as a general rule, do you do horror stories?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
So... you like the story *grins* but feel that it could do with some more clues.... okay. I've just responded to another email about doing some longer chapters to help speed things up... I'll see if I can also make them more satisfying for you.Regarding horror, I do enjoy reading horrror and some of my stories do incorporate the genre. Maybe I will write one dedicated to it s some point.Thank you for reviewing and reading the story :)
Response from makaem (Reviewer)
Crap, now I feel awkward. I didn't do a very good job of answering your question. I started to say that I was usually pretty good at figuring out plot line, but that your story was keeping me guessing. Then I decided that sounded too arrogant on my part... You don't need to drop more clues. Your story is great just the way you've written it. I meant that as a complement, but I didn't say it very well. MA
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
I didn't mean to make you feel awkward--sorry.My concern was that I was being far too vague and not providing enough information, resulting in a confusing and inaccesible plot. I can breathe easy now... you're enjoying the story.Thank you for the lovely compliment :)
Oh, okay, Poor Severus hope from a patch of blue sky, and then lost it. Meadows - he's so trapped. I hope Hermione sees rigth through him.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review :)I'm sure that he'll have his patch of blue again.Next chapter is in the queue... and well... er... :D