Charges
Chapter 18 of 26
sweetflagHermione finds that her charged task is not as straightfoward as she first thought, and Lucius really does discover that caveat emptor should be respected.
ReviewedAuthor's Notes: Words and their definitions follow the chapter.
Weaving through the throng of chattering pupils, Hermione headed along the corridor, following the intermittent flash of sunlight on blond hair. Any attempt at subtlety was rendered moot by the sheer press of bodies as she elbowed and nudged people out of the way, but in a way, the multitude concealed her intentions—for all intents and purposes, she could have been on an expeditious mission to find an alfresco sanctum.
Draco had been a feature of her day-to-day existence, but despite being constantly aware of his presence, she had never really paid that much attention to him, and so it was with some shock that she saw the same echo of concealed pain in his sloped shoulders and drawn features as she had seen in his father. It was also odd to see him so alone. Not so long ago, a group of satellite, sycophantic Slytherins had orbited him, but now, he was a solitary star, pulling and shining upon no one.
Nibbling her lower lip, she wondered how she could be so… forgiving. The Malfoys had been the worst of the worst; they had had a hand in some of the most terrible of atrocities, and yet, here she was, sympathising with them. It was confusing: almost… abnormal. Shaking her head, she edged past a group of first-years, cursing under her breath that they should waylay her now after all her previous efforts. Pushing past them, and with a rush of adrenaline, she jogged to the main doors and out into the bitter, autumn weather. Draco was nowhere to be seen.
Huffing in peeved disgust, she wrapped her cloak around her body and sauntered down the stone steps. It seemed pointless to continue chasing; her target had disappeared, and searching the castle grounds would be otiose. Wiping windswept hair from her eyes, she watched the wind torment some distant trees and the black specks of birds flitting across the bruised and heavy sky. There was a storm brewing.
~X~
The black-toothed maw opened up, and Lucius felt his stomach churn. Reminding himself that this was just a small part of a much larger scheme, he smiled back and extended his gloved hand and purse to the smirking vendor.
“It’s all there, but do feel free to check,” Lucius said sardonically while the man ripped open the purse and tipped a few of the galleons onto his palm.
“O’ course, I believed ye,” he replied smarmily, “but it pays to check.”
With a grin, the seller shoved a large leather satchel into Malfoy’s chest. “It’s all in it, but feel free to check!” he added facetiously and winked as he pocketed his money. “A pleasure doin’ business wi’ ye.”
Seeing that as his hint to leave, Lucius nodded and made his way out of the dingy alley, cradling the desperately needed satchel and ingredients against his chest. Knockturn had never been a pleasant place even when he had been considered a welcomed visitor, and now, it suffocated him and made him feel incredible filthy. Wandless, it was also now a place to fear. Pulling his hood further round his face, he hoisted the satchel upon his back and headed to the less precarious cobbles of Diagon Alley.
The junction was just up ahead when he heard a sound that made the hiss of a Basilisk seem a euphonious melody—he heard the muted pops of Apparating wizards. Inhaling sharply and closing his eyes as he sent out a rapid and silent plea to whichever god was still on his side, he upped his pace towards Diagon. As he peered into the darkened shop-front windows, he saw the reflection of the duplicitous vendor point him out to two large and brutish wizards before slinking back into the shadows.
Swallowing and feeling nauseous, Lucius gripped his precious burden, and he frantically pondered what he could do. Breathing hard and with sweat trickling down his back and temples, he caught sight of a group of potential allies. Slowing down so his pursuers could close in, he aimed for a group of well known witches, who were chatting and laughing raucously around a brazier. The women had the ironic sobriquet ‘ladies of the hour’—they were not ladies, and you rarely got the hour’s worth.
Barging through them was almost suicide in its own right given their tendency to hurl curses with both tongue and wand, but he had no choice but to ignite their wrath. When the two wizards came to follow his example, the ‘ladies’ introduced the two to their intense disapproval. Smirking and relieved that the women had turned on the closest targets for their vengeance rather than the instigator, Lucius breathed a sigh of relief as his feet struck the less stained cobbles of Diagon Alley.
~X~
The feel of warm lips against her temple drew her from her sleep, and her sore eyes focused upon the smiling face of her husband. Something in his expression halted her breath and made her heart leap—such a long time since she had seen such unfettered joy. Her lips couldn’t resist lifting up into a smile.
“I have a way to talk to Draco, my dearest,” he said softly. “We are on the path to freeing ourselves from this nightmare.”
Narcissa’s hands slowly reached up to cup his face, her fingertips tracing the outline of his smiling mouth and catching the tear that slid down his cheek. His eyes had never looked so brilliant or so clear as he looked down upon her, knowing that he had finally found a way to rescue them from this pitiful state.
“I am sorry for doubting you,” she whispered up to him, regret and pain thickening her voice.
He swooped down and pressed his lips against hers. “I doubted myself at times.” He straightened and held out his hand to her. “Severus will wake, and when he does, he will spill all the secrets that he has kept for us.”
1. euphonious
2. sobriquet
3. otiose
4. waylay
5. sanctum*
6. expeditious
7. alfresco
*(Number 5 on the list was a repeat from a previous week's challenge.
The word given was chosen at random from a previous month's list on
dictionary.com.)
.......Words with Definitions. ......
euphonious \yoo-FOH-nee-uhs\, adjective:
Pleasing or sweet in sound; smooth-sounding.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
sobriquet \SO-brih-kay; -ket; so-brih-KAY; -KET\, noun:
A nickname; an assumed name; an epithet.
------------ --------- --------- --------
otiose \OH-shee-ohs; OH-tee-\, adjective:
1. Ineffective; futile.
2. Being at leisure; lazy; indolent; idle.
3. Of no use.
------------ --------- --------- ---------
waylay \WAY-lay\, transitive verb:
1. To lie in wait for and attack from ambush.
2. To approach or stop (someone) unexpectedly.
------------ --------- --------- ---------
sanctum \SANK-tum\, noun;
plural sanctums or sancta::
1. A sacred place.
2. A place of retreat where one is free from intrusion.
------------ --------- --------- --
expeditious \ek-spuh-DISH-uhs\, adjective:
Characterized by or acting with speed and efficiency.
------------ --------- --------- ---
alfresco \al-FRES-koh\, adverb:
1. In the open air; outdoors.
adjective:
1. Taking place or located in the open air; outdoor.
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Latest 25 Reviews for For Him
267 Reviews | 5.69/10 Average
Gosh... Can't you authors make things less complicated and angsty for once? ;))
Magnificent first chapter! Why isn't this fanfic completed yet?
This is very nice. (At least the last part, not Bella, of course.) Hermione's conflicts are very clear and believable, and I love the way you've shown young Sev. I'm a bit worried about older Severus--I'd like to see him a bit stronger, since it looks as if Bella will find him soon. But I wonder where Lucius has got to, now? Sorry to hear about your hands--that can be really painful. Have you tried a dictation program? They're amazing, once you learn them and get them used to your voice.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you again. It's reassuring for me that the characters and their interactions are believable. I've never really considered the dictation program--partly because I had no idea that such a thing existed, and partly because I find it very difficult to talk when I'm writing. That probably makes no sense, but everything seems to go straight from brain to fingers. Thank you... I'm hoping the fingers will start to behave soon, as most of my hobbies and work involves them. On the other hand, I do have a good excuse now as to why my granny squares look like some temporal distortion as seen on Star Trek.
You write so much better when you aren't trying to fit it around the vocabulary words! You clearly have a wonderful, convoluted plot in mind (assuming that all the threads eventually come together), and yet I have frequently been tempted to abandon your story, reading it through, because of the awkwardness of the language. It's never wise to try to use arcane words based only on their definitions, since the words you were given all have hooks and connotations and if you aren't fully familiar with the universe of the words you use, you can make errors that are really jarring--especially in writing that is otherwise smooth and competent. . I'm so glad the challenge is over, and I look forward to the rest of the story. (Except Bella, who is simply disgusting--those fingers!)
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for your review and kind words. The drabble challenge was thrilling and... challenging. Trying to get it all done in less than 1,000 words was also very trying. I'm so glad that you managed to get past the vocabulary. My ignorance must have shone through quite a lot in the chapters, but I did enjoy the challenge of learning new words and trying to do them justice; I think it helped me quite a lot. It was great fun. Thank you again for the review.
"Armed with his wit—a wit that had kept him dancing just one step ahead of death for decades—and a fierce determination to discover if he could finally call himself free, Snape rode his anger like a devil and stepped into the storm."That? Is one of the most glorious sentences I've read in a long time. It made me *shiver* with pleasure and anticipation.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for the review, and I'm sorry for the delay in response. I'm so thrilled that the line was a good one. Thank you for reading.
VERY INTERESTING READING. WHAT SUSPENSE! I FOUND THIS STORY AGAIN, I READ IT LAST YEAR AND ITS STILL WHERE IT WAS, I HOPE YOU ARE WORKING ON AN UPDATE. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE. YOU HAVE ME HOOKED! ;D
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello. It's lovely to read your review. I am working, very slowly; I have had to put writing on hold for quite a while now. I hope to get back to everything 'fanfiction' in the next few weeks.
wow...just wow. this is so well written and interestingly plotted. thanks so much
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello again :) Thanks for reading!Thank you for those kind words. Hope you enjoy the rest of this tale.
This reality is terrifying. Will Snape be able to hold on to his sanity? Who is this voice he hears?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello :) It's lovely to see you again.Thank you for the review and the stars.I know this is mean, but you'll find out :D
OK, I got lost on this chapter. I'm going to re-read it tomorrow. So far the story is pretty good though.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for that :) I hope that the next chapters make more sense.
I think Hermione should let someone else know what is going on. She is taking risks that don't need to be taken.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
True, but don't you find that logical people tend to be the last to see the logic of a situation, especially when it's personal.Thanks for the review and the stars :)
It's getting interesting. Poor Ron feels threatened by Hermione's distance I think.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you :)Ron always strikes me as being rather insecure; JKR makes him work hard for eveything.
Not bad, I'm wondering why Lucius isn't the ring leader.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Does he feel that he could be?Thanks again :)
The old man in this chapter, is he the same old man from the hospital?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Yes, he is. :)Thanks for the stars :)
Well, there is certainly some hidden agenda here.Not bad, although I'd like more description of thoughts, feelings etc. However, that may have been planned for this chapter.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review. This was in response to a Dictionary Drabble challenge, and as result, quite a few of the chapters are constrained by length and specific words to use. I didn't delve as much as I would have liked. Hopefully, the chapters will become more satisfying as they go on.I will say that I have changed the rating, as the story does darken in places; this may not yet be apparent, so I thought I'd warn you about the rating change--just in case it's now not quite your cup of tea. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)
Good start, I liked how you had Hermione as compassionate 'healing the soul, instead of the body'.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)
I as a little confused about Bella's plan as well, but then I read your reply to ClayPotter and and went all "ah!".The parts about Snape are about the best I have read in a long time! Wow! As for “I’m not crabby; I’m complicated.” I am so going to print that on a t-shirt!/M
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review :) Some aspects of this were written so long ago, that I think some pieces aren't connecting as well as they should. I will fix that!I really enjoyed going back to Snape--the poor dear has been neglected.Shucks! I should have thought of the t-shirt thing first! I will--promise!--get to your wonderful story as soon as some annoying other stuff has disappeared :)
I hate to admit this but, I am totally confused now. I can only assume that Bella put a finger inside each of Hermione and Draco, then wiped their memories clean of the horrible incident. So now she can take over either one of them at any moment as she wishes? But since she can only inhabit one person at a time, she is still inside Meadows during the house hunting incident?Please help me understand what is going on. That previous chapter was so horrifying, and this one makes no mention of their torture, or how they got out of it, or anything.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Yes, she has put a finger inside them and wiped their memories. Bella is still in Meadowes. I will do another chapter with her as the main character; she can have a chat with Meadowes about what she's planning. That should clarify things. Her idea to use Hermione and Draco was very spur of the moment, but she needed somewhere safe to keep those fingers. The fingers are her anchor points, if you like. She can site one and travel to and from it at will, or use it to fall back on if one is destroyed. Think of inns dotted along long roads: resting places for travellers heading towards their destination. She has yet to place all of them--eight remaining. She herself cannot move more than a set distance from her current anchor, so she needs the anchor to be carried--Draco and Hermione have the anchors with them at all times and carry them around--Bella doesn't have to possess either of them, but she can use them as a base to possess someone else. Bella knows that Hermione wants to help Snape and that she has access to all those who worked against Voldemort (the Order members, including Harry); all those who Bella wishes to take vengeance upon. It makes no mention, because no one knows--there are hints ... Hermione rubbing her belly, thinking that she ate something funny, but nothing else, because if they knew, they'd remove what they were carrying. Bella didn't want to torture them as such; granted, she enjoyed doing it (she IS a nutcase, remember :D), but she didn't want to create any lasting problems. I hope that clarified something... anything....
Response from ClayPotter (Reviewer)
Yes, I understand now. Thanks so much for the clarification.
Sorry. Can't read any more. Your rating is too low. The gratuitous violence of Wrapping Gifts bumps it into MA, and I'm not interested in Bella enough to continue reading this.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Fair enough. Thanks for reading thus far. I will, of course, ask one of the admins to seek their opinion on the rating and change it accordingly, and I will use their advice to rate future chapters.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for pointing out the inappropriate rating. I have upped it to M(R)--for mature teens.
ooooooo!
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Given the stars, I'm edging my bets that that was a good 'ooooooo!' :DGlad you're liking it!Thank you.
Response from keske (Reviewer)
yeah! a very good OOOOOO!
So, how are they going to get out of that?!
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
It's a bit tricky, isnt it? :DThanks for staying with this story and for reviewing :)
wow! i'm speachless! thanks so much
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Glad you liked it :)Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Hanibal Lector meets The Exorcist. I'm impressed!And as horrible Bella is, I must tell you how much I love the way you depict Lucius and Narcissa. Truly lovely./M
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)They just want their happy-ever-after. Thanks for reading... makes me all giddy with happiness :)
So far our heroes are always being out flanked by Bella. Are they ever going to win and cure Severus?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)In truth, they're not actually fighting against Bella--they have no idea that Bella is even up and around and a problem. What is happening here is taking place over a few days. I guess that posting at rather irregular intervals may be seemingly stretching this out--sorry :(The ingredients arrived on Friday, they saw 'Meadowes' on Saturday and by Wednesday, the Malfoys will be... possiby... your neighbours :DBella is following her own little agenda, and Hermione and Draco are now a huge part of that... whether they want to be or not.I can sense your possible frustration, so I'll try and get some very long chapters done to help speed this along. Many thanks for reading this story and taking the time to review :)
That was dark. How is this going to work out?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review.This is the darkest chapter in this story. I won't be delving into such shadows again. Err... are you asking if this is going to have a 'happy-ending'? Or are you just querying if the story will descend into a pure horror tale?
Response from makaem (Reviewer)
It was more of a general whine on my part. I like to guess where I think a story is headed-- in this case I'm drawing a blank, at least for anything that will bode well for Hermione. So I'll just have to wait. As for the question, I don't really expect to get an answer (although one would be nice), I stick those in a lot of my reviews. It means I like a story enough to do the equivalent of thinking outloud. But, as a general rule, do you do horror stories?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
So... you like the story *grins* but feel that it could do with some more clues.... okay. I've just responded to another email about doing some longer chapters to help speed things up... I'll see if I can also make them more satisfying for you.Regarding horror, I do enjoy reading horrror and some of my stories do incorporate the genre. Maybe I will write one dedicated to it s some point.Thank you for reviewing and reading the story :)
Response from makaem (Reviewer)
Crap, now I feel awkward. I didn't do a very good job of answering your question. I started to say that I was usually pretty good at figuring out plot line, but that your story was keeping me guessing. Then I decided that sounded too arrogant on my part... You don't need to drop more clues. Your story is great just the way you've written it. I meant that as a complement, but I didn't say it very well. MA
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
I didn't mean to make you feel awkward--sorry.My concern was that I was being far too vague and not providing enough information, resulting in a confusing and inaccesible plot. I can breathe easy now... you're enjoying the story.Thank you for the lovely compliment :)
Oh, okay, Poor Severus hope from a patch of blue sky, and then lost it. Meadows - he's so trapped. I hope Hermione sees rigth through him.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review :)I'm sure that he'll have his patch of blue again.Next chapter is in the queue... and well... er... :D