Weeding
Chapter 16 of 26
sweetflagAfter invading her mind, Lucius has to face Hermione
ReviewedAuthor's Notes: Words and their definitions follow the chapter.
She allowed the anger to suffuse her, relishing the chance to just let it burn—so controlled for so long—and now, she could just let go! There was no real thought, just some primal urge… There was the man who had hurt her, and that was enough.
Lucius had just enough presence of mind to end legilimency, but not enough time to defend himself before a furious witch launched herself at him. Surprised by the ferocity of her assault, he merely lifted his arms to ward off her blows. Cursing, he tried to aim the wand while blocking her punches, but she was a mad dervish, an ever-moving target, and ironically, a ballistic weapon can be rendered moot when the target is too close.
Relying upon his own instincts, he grabbed hold of her—physical assaults could also be hampered by proximity—and he suffered her shoes against his shins, her nails against his skin, and her fingers ripping his hair. Grunting with the effort of holding her and from the sharp sources of pain, he manhandled her so that her back was pressed against his chest, and he clung on.
A particularly nasty elbow to his solar plexus knocked the wind out of him, and he involuntarily collapsed onto the floor, curling up around his throbbing abdomen. Using his sudden disability, she yanked her wand free and lunged away from him.
Through his tears, he saw her spin and point her wand at him, and after rummaging through her mind, he wondered if she really was as bad as she feared. A tintinnabulation filled his ears after the surcease of her vociferous protests, and in that dreadful silence, he waited for her to strike. He wasn’t kept waiting.
”Crucio!”
Gritting his teeth and tensing, he expected his muscles to explode into agonising life, but other than a sharp sting from where the spell struck, and the hint of what could have been strumming his nerves, there was nothing. Licking his lips, Lucius slowly rose to his feet and walked over to the closest chair, falling into the soft cushions. She couldn’t do it! The thought buzzed in his skull, and he hoped that he could manipulate it to suit his goal. She had put her all into it, and she hadn’t been able to cast the curse.
”Crucio!” she screamed out again, her body vibrating with the desire to hurt the man who had abused her.
Lucius, despite his unease, smirked. “Give it up, Miss Granger,” he drawled. “You just haven’t got it in you.” He was gratified to see her anger burn all the hotter; it was a dangerous game, but sometimes a point could only be made and understood through pain. “You misprize me, and yet, you just cannot do it… I, who have hurt you and worked to kill those whom you care about, and you still cannot summon enough hate to harm me!” He waved disdainfully at her and sneered. “Your suffering is nothing more that some kitsch attempt at martyrdom.”
Her mind was a mess. Memories and emotions had combined and colluded in a way to convince her that her hate and desires to see others suffer for their crimes indicated some inner evil. Those terrible thoughts stirred up by that Horcrux had twisted her affections, giving them a rawer and more primal aspect that had contradicted her normal thoughts and feelings she had felt for her friends. The Horcrux had made her view them… differently, and in turn, had introduced her to some very basic and confusing urges. At this particular stage of her life, and given her possible lack of experience, those ideas would have potentially seemed so very wrong. Lucius almost felt pangs of remorse for her: such a precious aspect of a relationship tainted by a fraction of Voldemort’s soul. In short, she thought she was in some way damaged and rotten.
Hermione feared that she had been polluted, corrupted, and that deep within her, she had some terrible seed; she feared it growing, and she feared its discovery. Keeping it from her loved ones had been her main focus, and her current task made it impossible for her to keep that vile secret to herself: Snape would unearth it.
Feigning languor, Lucius crossed his legs and idly plucked loose hair from his clothes. From the corner of his eye, he watched her simmer and the way she cogitated over her next course of action. Swallowing nervously, he hoped that she was too furious to recall that some very nasty hexes required little emotional investment… He doubted that he’d survive sectumsempra.
”Avada Kedavra!”
The smallest of whimpers bubbled up from his paralysed lungs when she cried out her curse, but as that terrible, green light washed over him, he realised that it lacked intent. Exhaling, he sagged and almost laughed out. Through his sudden exhilaration, he saw her sway and clutch at her head, muttering incomprehensible phrases.
As she fell to the floor, he slipped off the chair and knelt next to her. While she wept, he pulled back the cuff of his jacket until the faded, but still recognisable Dark Mark was exposed.
“I can’t…” she mumbled. When she realised that he was next to her, she looked up, her eyes shimmering, and her cheeks red and damp. “I wanted to hurt you,” she said simply. If she was surprised by his accepting nod, she made no sign. “I’m… I’m scared,” she sobbed out, her breath coming in huge, erratic gulps. “Scared that I’m…”
“Because you burn with hate and anger, because you feel that you need to hurt or destroy, don’t let it disconcert you; it does not make you a proponent of… this!” he hissed out. Her eyes widened, her gaze flickering to his forearm. “It just makes you human… Hermione.”
She sobbed out, tears pouring down her already slick cheeks, and she fell against him, weeding out all that shouldn’t be thriving.
The word list (swiped from the past week's list from dictonary.com).
1. kitsch
2. suffuse
3. disconcert
4. vociferous
5. tintinnabulation
6. misprize
7. proponent
.......Words with Definitions. ......
kitsch \KICH\, noun:
1. Art characterized by pretentious bad taste.
adjective:
1. Relating to, or characterized by, kitsch.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
suffuse \suh-FYOOZ\, transitive verb:
To spread through or over in the manner of fluid or light; to flush.
------------ --------- --------- --------
disconcert \dis-kuhn-SURT\, transitive verb:
1. To disturb the composure of.
2. To throw into disorder or confusion; as, "the emperor disconcerted
the plans of his enemy."
------------ --------- --------- ---------
vociferous \voh-SIF-uhr-uhs\, adjective:
Making a loud outcry; clamorous; noisy.
------------ --------- --------- ---------
tintinnabulation \tin-tih-nab-yuh-LAY-shuhn\, noun:
A tinkling sound, as of a bell or bells.
------------ --------- --------- --
misprize \mis-PRYZ\, transitive verb:
1. To hold in contempt.
2. To undervalue.
------------ --------- --------- ---
proponent \pruh-POH-nuhnt\, noun:
One who argues in support of something; an advocate; a supporter.
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Latest 25 Reviews for For Him
267 Reviews | 5.69/10 Average
Gosh... Can't you authors make things less complicated and angsty for once? ;))
Magnificent first chapter! Why isn't this fanfic completed yet?
This is very nice. (At least the last part, not Bella, of course.) Hermione's conflicts are very clear and believable, and I love the way you've shown young Sev. I'm a bit worried about older Severus--I'd like to see him a bit stronger, since it looks as if Bella will find him soon. But I wonder where Lucius has got to, now? Sorry to hear about your hands--that can be really painful. Have you tried a dictation program? They're amazing, once you learn them and get them used to your voice.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you again. It's reassuring for me that the characters and their interactions are believable. I've never really considered the dictation program--partly because I had no idea that such a thing existed, and partly because I find it very difficult to talk when I'm writing. That probably makes no sense, but everything seems to go straight from brain to fingers. Thank you... I'm hoping the fingers will start to behave soon, as most of my hobbies and work involves them. On the other hand, I do have a good excuse now as to why my granny squares look like some temporal distortion as seen on Star Trek.
You write so much better when you aren't trying to fit it around the vocabulary words! You clearly have a wonderful, convoluted plot in mind (assuming that all the threads eventually come together), and yet I have frequently been tempted to abandon your story, reading it through, because of the awkwardness of the language. It's never wise to try to use arcane words based only on their definitions, since the words you were given all have hooks and connotations and if you aren't fully familiar with the universe of the words you use, you can make errors that are really jarring--especially in writing that is otherwise smooth and competent. . I'm so glad the challenge is over, and I look forward to the rest of the story. (Except Bella, who is simply disgusting--those fingers!)
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for your review and kind words. The drabble challenge was thrilling and... challenging. Trying to get it all done in less than 1,000 words was also very trying. I'm so glad that you managed to get past the vocabulary. My ignorance must have shone through quite a lot in the chapters, but I did enjoy the challenge of learning new words and trying to do them justice; I think it helped me quite a lot. It was great fun. Thank you again for the review.
"Armed with his wit—a wit that had kept him dancing just one step ahead of death for decades—and a fierce determination to discover if he could finally call himself free, Snape rode his anger like a devil and stepped into the storm."That? Is one of the most glorious sentences I've read in a long time. It made me *shiver* with pleasure and anticipation.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for the review, and I'm sorry for the delay in response. I'm so thrilled that the line was a good one. Thank you for reading.
VERY INTERESTING READING. WHAT SUSPENSE! I FOUND THIS STORY AGAIN, I READ IT LAST YEAR AND ITS STILL WHERE IT WAS, I HOPE YOU ARE WORKING ON AN UPDATE. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE. YOU HAVE ME HOOKED! ;D
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello. It's lovely to read your review. I am working, very slowly; I have had to put writing on hold for quite a while now. I hope to get back to everything 'fanfiction' in the next few weeks.
wow...just wow. this is so well written and interestingly plotted. thanks so much
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello again :) Thanks for reading!Thank you for those kind words. Hope you enjoy the rest of this tale.
This reality is terrifying. Will Snape be able to hold on to his sanity? Who is this voice he hears?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello :) It's lovely to see you again.Thank you for the review and the stars.I know this is mean, but you'll find out :D
OK, I got lost on this chapter. I'm going to re-read it tomorrow. So far the story is pretty good though.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for that :) I hope that the next chapters make more sense.
I think Hermione should let someone else know what is going on. She is taking risks that don't need to be taken.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
True, but don't you find that logical people tend to be the last to see the logic of a situation, especially when it's personal.Thanks for the review and the stars :)
It's getting interesting. Poor Ron feels threatened by Hermione's distance I think.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you :)Ron always strikes me as being rather insecure; JKR makes him work hard for eveything.
Not bad, I'm wondering why Lucius isn't the ring leader.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Does he feel that he could be?Thanks again :)
The old man in this chapter, is he the same old man from the hospital?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Yes, he is. :)Thanks for the stars :)
Well, there is certainly some hidden agenda here.Not bad, although I'd like more description of thoughts, feelings etc. However, that may have been planned for this chapter.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review. This was in response to a Dictionary Drabble challenge, and as result, quite a few of the chapters are constrained by length and specific words to use. I didn't delve as much as I would have liked. Hopefully, the chapters will become more satisfying as they go on.I will say that I have changed the rating, as the story does darken in places; this may not yet be apparent, so I thought I'd warn you about the rating change--just in case it's now not quite your cup of tea. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)
Good start, I liked how you had Hermione as compassionate 'healing the soul, instead of the body'.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)
I as a little confused about Bella's plan as well, but then I read your reply to ClayPotter and and went all "ah!".The parts about Snape are about the best I have read in a long time! Wow! As for “I’m not crabby; I’m complicated.” I am so going to print that on a t-shirt!/M
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review :) Some aspects of this were written so long ago, that I think some pieces aren't connecting as well as they should. I will fix that!I really enjoyed going back to Snape--the poor dear has been neglected.Shucks! I should have thought of the t-shirt thing first! I will--promise!--get to your wonderful story as soon as some annoying other stuff has disappeared :)
I hate to admit this but, I am totally confused now. I can only assume that Bella put a finger inside each of Hermione and Draco, then wiped their memories clean of the horrible incident. So now she can take over either one of them at any moment as she wishes? But since she can only inhabit one person at a time, she is still inside Meadows during the house hunting incident?Please help me understand what is going on. That previous chapter was so horrifying, and this one makes no mention of their torture, or how they got out of it, or anything.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Yes, she has put a finger inside them and wiped their memories. Bella is still in Meadowes. I will do another chapter with her as the main character; she can have a chat with Meadowes about what she's planning. That should clarify things. Her idea to use Hermione and Draco was very spur of the moment, but she needed somewhere safe to keep those fingers. The fingers are her anchor points, if you like. She can site one and travel to and from it at will, or use it to fall back on if one is destroyed. Think of inns dotted along long roads: resting places for travellers heading towards their destination. She has yet to place all of them--eight remaining. She herself cannot move more than a set distance from her current anchor, so she needs the anchor to be carried--Draco and Hermione have the anchors with them at all times and carry them around--Bella doesn't have to possess either of them, but she can use them as a base to possess someone else. Bella knows that Hermione wants to help Snape and that she has access to all those who worked against Voldemort (the Order members, including Harry); all those who Bella wishes to take vengeance upon. It makes no mention, because no one knows--there are hints ... Hermione rubbing her belly, thinking that she ate something funny, but nothing else, because if they knew, they'd remove what they were carrying. Bella didn't want to torture them as such; granted, she enjoyed doing it (she IS a nutcase, remember :D), but she didn't want to create any lasting problems. I hope that clarified something... anything....
Response from ClayPotter (Reviewer)
Yes, I understand now. Thanks so much for the clarification.
Sorry. Can't read any more. Your rating is too low. The gratuitous violence of Wrapping Gifts bumps it into MA, and I'm not interested in Bella enough to continue reading this.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Fair enough. Thanks for reading thus far. I will, of course, ask one of the admins to seek their opinion on the rating and change it accordingly, and I will use their advice to rate future chapters.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for pointing out the inappropriate rating. I have upped it to M(R)--for mature teens.
ooooooo!
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Given the stars, I'm edging my bets that that was a good 'ooooooo!' :DGlad you're liking it!Thank you.
Response from keske (Reviewer)
yeah! a very good OOOOOO!
So, how are they going to get out of that?!
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
It's a bit tricky, isnt it? :DThanks for staying with this story and for reviewing :)
wow! i'm speachless! thanks so much
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Glad you liked it :)Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Hanibal Lector meets The Exorcist. I'm impressed!And as horrible Bella is, I must tell you how much I love the way you depict Lucius and Narcissa. Truly lovely./M
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)They just want their happy-ever-after. Thanks for reading... makes me all giddy with happiness :)
So far our heroes are always being out flanked by Bella. Are they ever going to win and cure Severus?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)In truth, they're not actually fighting against Bella--they have no idea that Bella is even up and around and a problem. What is happening here is taking place over a few days. I guess that posting at rather irregular intervals may be seemingly stretching this out--sorry :(The ingredients arrived on Friday, they saw 'Meadowes' on Saturday and by Wednesday, the Malfoys will be... possiby... your neighbours :DBella is following her own little agenda, and Hermione and Draco are now a huge part of that... whether they want to be or not.I can sense your possible frustration, so I'll try and get some very long chapters done to help speed this along. Many thanks for reading this story and taking the time to review :)
That was dark. How is this going to work out?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review.This is the darkest chapter in this story. I won't be delving into such shadows again. Err... are you asking if this is going to have a 'happy-ending'? Or are you just querying if the story will descend into a pure horror tale?
Response from makaem (Reviewer)
It was more of a general whine on my part. I like to guess where I think a story is headed-- in this case I'm drawing a blank, at least for anything that will bode well for Hermione. So I'll just have to wait. As for the question, I don't really expect to get an answer (although one would be nice), I stick those in a lot of my reviews. It means I like a story enough to do the equivalent of thinking outloud. But, as a general rule, do you do horror stories?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
So... you like the story *grins* but feel that it could do with some more clues.... okay. I've just responded to another email about doing some longer chapters to help speed things up... I'll see if I can also make them more satisfying for you.Regarding horror, I do enjoy reading horrror and some of my stories do incorporate the genre. Maybe I will write one dedicated to it s some point.Thank you for reviewing and reading the story :)
Response from makaem (Reviewer)
Crap, now I feel awkward. I didn't do a very good job of answering your question. I started to say that I was usually pretty good at figuring out plot line, but that your story was keeping me guessing. Then I decided that sounded too arrogant on my part... You don't need to drop more clues. Your story is great just the way you've written it. I meant that as a complement, but I didn't say it very well. MA
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
I didn't mean to make you feel awkward--sorry.My concern was that I was being far too vague and not providing enough information, resulting in a confusing and inaccesible plot. I can breathe easy now... you're enjoying the story.Thank you for the lovely compliment :)
Oh, okay, Poor Severus hope from a patch of blue sky, and then lost it. Meadows - he's so trapped. I hope Hermione sees rigth through him.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review :)I'm sure that he'll have his patch of blue again.Next chapter is in the queue... and well... er... :D