Tea and Sympathy
Chapter 6 of 26
sweetflagWhen Hermione discovers that an incurable Snape has been left to waste in a secret hospital ward, she sets out to do what so many have failed to do before and cure him.
This is my response to the Dictionary Drabble Challenge. The chapters have to be less than one thousand words and contain the listed words.
ReviewedAt first, he thought that the dark line carving through the furze was some visual disturbance, some mirage or fatigue-induced hallucination, but as he neared it, he saw that it was a parting in the gorse. Fluttering playfully in that cutting were a few of the ravens that had shadowed him since he began his exploration of this strange land, and as they jumped and flapped vigorously, he saw the coruscation of light on water droplets. Stumbling mid-step as his mind realised what it meant, he changed direction and charged through the stiff and prickly foliage to get to the stream.
Falling to his knees and with mouth hanging open at the wondrous sight of the trickling, glistening water, he let out a choked sob. Sobbing, he crawled forward, his eager lips parted and trembling at the prospect of the cool water trickling down his parched throat. Next to him, the high-spirited ravens cawed and played in the slender river.
Oh, it was delicious!
Scooping up heavenly handfuls, he gulped the nectar down, not caring that it ran copiously down his chin and throat or that those who knew him would be shocked at his lack of usual patrician sensibilities. His only drinking companions were the gathering ravens, and they seemed uncaring of good table-manners. Satiated, he sat back on his haunches, shivering slightly as the wet tips of his hair let cold drips trickle down his collar. One prerequisite, and the most necessary, for survival existed here, and for the first time, he felt some hope flutter in his rumbling gut, but there were two others that he needed—food and shelter. He sighed and turned to study his travelling companions.
“So, how’s the fishing here?”
oooXooo
The letter had suggested some way to prink and disguise her appearance, and as she walked along the passageway, she cast the recommended charms. By the time she emerged, she was taller, blonde, with green eyes, and closer to twice her actual age. Her uniform had also undergone a transformation; her cotton blouse and wool-knit skirt had blended into a russet, calf-length woollen dress, and her shoes and knee-length socks had fused into sleek, dark-brown, suede knee-high boots. The school robe was now a warm, black, hooded cape. Although her face was roughly the same, she suspected that the new colouring and height difference would be enough to allay suspicion—if Ron was anything to go by, then even the change of clothes would have been sheer hyperbole.
Adira’s portrait opened without fuss, and the small girl in the frame smiled and giggled as Hermione slipped into the empty room. Panting with a mix of exertion and exhilaration, she pushed the portrait back against the wall and crept over to the door. It was foolish as the letter had informed her that nothing would hinder her as she made her way to the rendezvous. In fact, the latter had caused a mild surfeit with all the superfluous directives and recommendations, but her feelings had been easily outweighed by her need, and it was with some dark humour that she wondered if she had the time for this clandestine meeting if he was the raconteur that his letter portended.
Her only shift from his pedantic plan was a step to ensure her safety, and that was a thin hair grip that held back her fringe. The slender, metal comb was a Portkey that would magic her back to the safety of her private room if she felt in anyway threatened.
As directed, the corridor was empty, and as she walked closer to the required room so her nerves began to thrum with fear. Breathing erratically and her body trembling, she stopped outside the door. Summoning a strength, she gripped her wand in one hand and knocked firmly on the knotted and peeling door with the other.
It swung open with only the softest of sighs, and beyond the threshold, she saw a fire gently flickering in the hearth and two plush arm chairs angled towards it. Between the chairs and the inviting fire, a table was laid for tea, and with a puzzled frown, she noted that there were three cups and saucers.
“Come in, Miss Granger,” said a familiar voice, and as her head turned to the source, she saw the elderly orderly rise from the chair on her left. “I am so glad that you decided to join us.”
“Us?” she queried in a choked gasp.
“Yes,” he replied softly. “There is another who will be vital to our success, and as such, he was also invited. I assure you that we cannot do without him, despite what you may think.” He smiled warmly at her bemused expression and gestured to the table laid for tea. “Care for some tea while we wait for Mr Malfoy.”
“Lucius Malfoy!”
“Oh, dear,” he said quietly, the smile slipping from his wrinkled face. “I can understand why the prospect seems minatory to you,” he said sympathetically, “but you must be aware that Mr Malfoy has been stripped of his wand, and I would not put you in danger.” He inhaled slowly and wiped a trembling hand over his forehead. “Of course, I accept that that is a matter of trust for you and not a certainty, and I can only implore to your sense of amending a wrong to help you see past what you consider a dubious alliance.”
Fidgeting with her wand, she nibbled her lower lip, and she pondered what she wanted… and then, she began to wonder what would compel Lucius Malfoy to assist a disgusting Mudblood! Curiosity battered at her, and while a part of her screamed out its frustrations at her potentially deadly naivety, she nodded her head and walked over to settle herself in the inviting chair. Meadowes settled back in his chair and studied her carefully—her lack of caution was alarming, and curing Snape seemed too close to an obsession for her… and he feared for her.
Author’s Notes: The words and definitions for this week’s Dictionary Drabble Challenge are listed below.
The word list (swiped from the past week's list from dictonary.com):
1. minatory
2. raconteur
3. surfeit
4. patrician
5. hyperbole
6. apprise
7. prink
-----------------------------
minatory \MIN-uh-tor-ee\, adjective:
Threatening; menacing.
------------------------------
raconteur \rack-on-TUR\, noun:
One who excels in telling stories and anecdotes.
----------------------------
surfeit \SUR-fit\, noun:
1. An excessive amount or supply.
2. Overindulgence, as in food or drink.
3. Disgust caused by overindulgence or excess.
4. To feed or supply to excess.
--------------------------------
patrician \puh-TRISH-un\, noun:
1. A member of one of the original citizen families of ancient Rome.
2. A person of high birth; a nobleman.
3. A person of refined upbringing, manners, and taste.
4. Of or pertaining to the patrician families of ancient Rome.
5. Of, pertaining to, or appropriate to, a person of high birth;
noble; not plebeian.
6. Befitting or characteristic of refined upbringing, manners, and
taste.
----------------------------
hyperbole \hy-PUHR-buh-lee\, noun:
Extravagant exaggeration.
----------------------------
apprise \uh-PRYZ\, transitive verb:
To give notice to; to inform; -- often followed by of; as, we will
apprise the general of an intended attack; he apprised the commander
of what he had done.
---------------------------
prink \PRINGK\, transitive verb:
1. To dress up; to deck for show.
2. To dress or arrange oneself for show; to primp.
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Latest 25 Reviews for For Him
267 Reviews | 5.69/10 Average
Gosh... Can't you authors make things less complicated and angsty for once? ;))
Magnificent first chapter! Why isn't this fanfic completed yet?
This is very nice. (At least the last part, not Bella, of course.) Hermione's conflicts are very clear and believable, and I love the way you've shown young Sev. I'm a bit worried about older Severus--I'd like to see him a bit stronger, since it looks as if Bella will find him soon. But I wonder where Lucius has got to, now? Sorry to hear about your hands--that can be really painful. Have you tried a dictation program? They're amazing, once you learn them and get them used to your voice.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you again. It's reassuring for me that the characters and their interactions are believable. I've never really considered the dictation program--partly because I had no idea that such a thing existed, and partly because I find it very difficult to talk when I'm writing. That probably makes no sense, but everything seems to go straight from brain to fingers. Thank you... I'm hoping the fingers will start to behave soon, as most of my hobbies and work involves them. On the other hand, I do have a good excuse now as to why my granny squares look like some temporal distortion as seen on Star Trek.
You write so much better when you aren't trying to fit it around the vocabulary words! You clearly have a wonderful, convoluted plot in mind (assuming that all the threads eventually come together), and yet I have frequently been tempted to abandon your story, reading it through, because of the awkwardness of the language. It's never wise to try to use arcane words based only on their definitions, since the words you were given all have hooks and connotations and if you aren't fully familiar with the universe of the words you use, you can make errors that are really jarring--especially in writing that is otherwise smooth and competent. . I'm so glad the challenge is over, and I look forward to the rest of the story. (Except Bella, who is simply disgusting--those fingers!)
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for your review and kind words. The drabble challenge was thrilling and... challenging. Trying to get it all done in less than 1,000 words was also very trying. I'm so glad that you managed to get past the vocabulary. My ignorance must have shone through quite a lot in the chapters, but I did enjoy the challenge of learning new words and trying to do them justice; I think it helped me quite a lot. It was great fun. Thank you again for the review.
"Armed with his wit—a wit that had kept him dancing just one step ahead of death for decades—and a fierce determination to discover if he could finally call himself free, Snape rode his anger like a devil and stepped into the storm."That? Is one of the most glorious sentences I've read in a long time. It made me *shiver* with pleasure and anticipation.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for the review, and I'm sorry for the delay in response. I'm so thrilled that the line was a good one. Thank you for reading.
VERY INTERESTING READING. WHAT SUSPENSE! I FOUND THIS STORY AGAIN, I READ IT LAST YEAR AND ITS STILL WHERE IT WAS, I HOPE YOU ARE WORKING ON AN UPDATE. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE. YOU HAVE ME HOOKED! ;D
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello. It's lovely to read your review. I am working, very slowly; I have had to put writing on hold for quite a while now. I hope to get back to everything 'fanfiction' in the next few weeks.
wow...just wow. this is so well written and interestingly plotted. thanks so much
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello again :) Thanks for reading!Thank you for those kind words. Hope you enjoy the rest of this tale.
This reality is terrifying. Will Snape be able to hold on to his sanity? Who is this voice he hears?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello :) It's lovely to see you again.Thank you for the review and the stars.I know this is mean, but you'll find out :D
OK, I got lost on this chapter. I'm going to re-read it tomorrow. So far the story is pretty good though.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for that :) I hope that the next chapters make more sense.
I think Hermione should let someone else know what is going on. She is taking risks that don't need to be taken.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
True, but don't you find that logical people tend to be the last to see the logic of a situation, especially when it's personal.Thanks for the review and the stars :)
It's getting interesting. Poor Ron feels threatened by Hermione's distance I think.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you :)Ron always strikes me as being rather insecure; JKR makes him work hard for eveything.
Not bad, I'm wondering why Lucius isn't the ring leader.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Does he feel that he could be?Thanks again :)
The old man in this chapter, is he the same old man from the hospital?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Yes, he is. :)Thanks for the stars :)
Well, there is certainly some hidden agenda here.Not bad, although I'd like more description of thoughts, feelings etc. However, that may have been planned for this chapter.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review. This was in response to a Dictionary Drabble challenge, and as result, quite a few of the chapters are constrained by length and specific words to use. I didn't delve as much as I would have liked. Hopefully, the chapters will become more satisfying as they go on.I will say that I have changed the rating, as the story does darken in places; this may not yet be apparent, so I thought I'd warn you about the rating change--just in case it's now not quite your cup of tea. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)
Good start, I liked how you had Hermione as compassionate 'healing the soul, instead of the body'.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)
I as a little confused about Bella's plan as well, but then I read your reply to ClayPotter and and went all "ah!".The parts about Snape are about the best I have read in a long time! Wow! As for “I’m not crabby; I’m complicated.” I am so going to print that on a t-shirt!/M
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review :) Some aspects of this were written so long ago, that I think some pieces aren't connecting as well as they should. I will fix that!I really enjoyed going back to Snape--the poor dear has been neglected.Shucks! I should have thought of the t-shirt thing first! I will--promise!--get to your wonderful story as soon as some annoying other stuff has disappeared :)
I hate to admit this but, I am totally confused now. I can only assume that Bella put a finger inside each of Hermione and Draco, then wiped their memories clean of the horrible incident. So now she can take over either one of them at any moment as she wishes? But since she can only inhabit one person at a time, she is still inside Meadows during the house hunting incident?Please help me understand what is going on. That previous chapter was so horrifying, and this one makes no mention of their torture, or how they got out of it, or anything.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Yes, she has put a finger inside them and wiped their memories. Bella is still in Meadowes. I will do another chapter with her as the main character; she can have a chat with Meadowes about what she's planning. That should clarify things. Her idea to use Hermione and Draco was very spur of the moment, but she needed somewhere safe to keep those fingers. The fingers are her anchor points, if you like. She can site one and travel to and from it at will, or use it to fall back on if one is destroyed. Think of inns dotted along long roads: resting places for travellers heading towards their destination. She has yet to place all of them--eight remaining. She herself cannot move more than a set distance from her current anchor, so she needs the anchor to be carried--Draco and Hermione have the anchors with them at all times and carry them around--Bella doesn't have to possess either of them, but she can use them as a base to possess someone else. Bella knows that Hermione wants to help Snape and that she has access to all those who worked against Voldemort (the Order members, including Harry); all those who Bella wishes to take vengeance upon. It makes no mention, because no one knows--there are hints ... Hermione rubbing her belly, thinking that she ate something funny, but nothing else, because if they knew, they'd remove what they were carrying. Bella didn't want to torture them as such; granted, she enjoyed doing it (she IS a nutcase, remember :D), but she didn't want to create any lasting problems. I hope that clarified something... anything....
Response from ClayPotter (Reviewer)
Yes, I understand now. Thanks so much for the clarification.
Sorry. Can't read any more. Your rating is too low. The gratuitous violence of Wrapping Gifts bumps it into MA, and I'm not interested in Bella enough to continue reading this.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Fair enough. Thanks for reading thus far. I will, of course, ask one of the admins to seek their opinion on the rating and change it accordingly, and I will use their advice to rate future chapters.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for pointing out the inappropriate rating. I have upped it to M(R)--for mature teens.
ooooooo!
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Given the stars, I'm edging my bets that that was a good 'ooooooo!' :DGlad you're liking it!Thank you.
Response from keske (Reviewer)
yeah! a very good OOOOOO!
So, how are they going to get out of that?!
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
It's a bit tricky, isnt it? :DThanks for staying with this story and for reviewing :)
wow! i'm speachless! thanks so much
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Glad you liked it :)Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Hanibal Lector meets The Exorcist. I'm impressed!And as horrible Bella is, I must tell you how much I love the way you depict Lucius and Narcissa. Truly lovely./M
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)They just want their happy-ever-after. Thanks for reading... makes me all giddy with happiness :)
So far our heroes are always being out flanked by Bella. Are they ever going to win and cure Severus?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)In truth, they're not actually fighting against Bella--they have no idea that Bella is even up and around and a problem. What is happening here is taking place over a few days. I guess that posting at rather irregular intervals may be seemingly stretching this out--sorry :(The ingredients arrived on Friday, they saw 'Meadowes' on Saturday and by Wednesday, the Malfoys will be... possiby... your neighbours :DBella is following her own little agenda, and Hermione and Draco are now a huge part of that... whether they want to be or not.I can sense your possible frustration, so I'll try and get some very long chapters done to help speed this along. Many thanks for reading this story and taking the time to review :)
That was dark. How is this going to work out?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review.This is the darkest chapter in this story. I won't be delving into such shadows again. Err... are you asking if this is going to have a 'happy-ending'? Or are you just querying if the story will descend into a pure horror tale?
Response from makaem (Reviewer)
It was more of a general whine on my part. I like to guess where I think a story is headed-- in this case I'm drawing a blank, at least for anything that will bode well for Hermione. So I'll just have to wait. As for the question, I don't really expect to get an answer (although one would be nice), I stick those in a lot of my reviews. It means I like a story enough to do the equivalent of thinking outloud. But, as a general rule, do you do horror stories?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
So... you like the story *grins* but feel that it could do with some more clues.... okay. I've just responded to another email about doing some longer chapters to help speed things up... I'll see if I can also make them more satisfying for you.Regarding horror, I do enjoy reading horrror and some of my stories do incorporate the genre. Maybe I will write one dedicated to it s some point.Thank you for reviewing and reading the story :)
Response from makaem (Reviewer)
Crap, now I feel awkward. I didn't do a very good job of answering your question. I started to say that I was usually pretty good at figuring out plot line, but that your story was keeping me guessing. Then I decided that sounded too arrogant on my part... You don't need to drop more clues. Your story is great just the way you've written it. I meant that as a complement, but I didn't say it very well. MA
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
I didn't mean to make you feel awkward--sorry.My concern was that I was being far too vague and not providing enough information, resulting in a confusing and inaccesible plot. I can breathe easy now... you're enjoying the story.Thank you for the lovely compliment :)
Oh, okay, Poor Severus hope from a patch of blue sky, and then lost it. Meadows - he's so trapped. I hope Hermione sees rigth through him.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review :)I'm sure that he'll have his patch of blue again.Next chapter is in the queue... and well... er... :D