Loose Lips
Chapter 13 of 26
sweetflagWhen Hermione discovers that an incurable Snape has been left to waste in a secret hospital ward, she sets out to do what so many have failed to do before and cure him.
This is my response to the Dictionary Drabble Challenge. The chapters have to be less than one thousand words and contain the listed words.
ReviewedAuthor's Notes: The words and their definitions follow the chapter.
“Again!”
“Please, no!”
“Legilimens!”
“No… Please.”
“You will learn, Miss Granger!”
“Protego!”
“Not good enough, Miss Granger. Legil—”
Dazed, disorientated and sick to her stomach, she collapsed as the spell slipped from her mind; through the fog of intense fatigue, she saw two indistinct shapes scuffling: one was her tormentor, and the other, her unexpected saviour. Trembling, she crawled towards her chair and clumsily clambered into the soft cushion. Harsh words hissed out, and then, she heard the susurrus that came with the room morphing into one that suited best. Opening her eyes, and tilting her head to the side, she saw Lucius standing before the hearth, his back was bowed, and his hands gripped the mantelpiece with a fierce strength.
“If I had known that he would have attacked you so viciously, Miss Granger, I would never have relinquished my role of tutor to him.” The usually clipped voice was thick with disgust, and Hermione’s eyes swept the familiar room; Meadowes must have fled after Lucius grappled him.
Pulling the cushion from behind her back, she cuddled it against her straining chest and swallowed to moisten a throat that still burnt from her cries. “I agreed to his tutoring,” she whispered.
The tall man whipped round and strode towards her, his face white and trembling with rage, and his eyes narrowed and hard. “You asked to be taught Occlumency, not to have your brain violated; there is a difference.”
“He believes that I need to learn, that the ski--”
“Don’t be such a naïf!” he spat out angrily, interrupting her foolish attempt to redress Meadowes’ actions, and content to berate her over her Gryffindor pride. “Forcing you to learn Occlumency will not help us to heal Severus.”
The anger did not diminish at the sight of her discomfort, and he thought back to their last lesson. If she hoped to learn the skill to keep Severus out of her head, then she was deluded: the man was too talented. Sighing, he gracefully slipped into the chair opposite hers and lazily traced patterns on the chair arm with his forefinger.
“Do you really think that you could keep Severus out of your head?” he asked casually. He didn’t need her to speak or nod; the way that her head dropped while her hands writhed nervously around each other gave him his answer.
“Was this some hunt for glory, Miss Granger? Did you seek to eclipse Potter by curing a man that could not be cured?” he demanded harshly, ignoring the hurt flashing across her face. “Now that the time to complete the task looms, you realise that it requires more hard work than you had originally thought, and you no longer think the prize is worth the effort!
“What do you want, Miss Granger?” he queried bitterly. “Accolades? Recognition? To be more than merely Potter’s side-kick?”
“Cure Professor Snape,” she said breathlessly.
“Then forget this foolishness of learning Occlumency and focus on that task,” he hissed out.
It was there on her face—her fear making her desperate to object to the idea of letting go of her chance of protection. Her lips trembled as she tried to formulate some argument, and her dark eyes shimmered as she silently beseeched him not to make her surrender her only defence.
He saw her hands dart out to grip the chair arms, the knuckles whitening, and she lurched in her seat as though tugged by an invisible hand; with alarm, he watched what colour she had drain from her face and her eyes roll up in their sockets. One trembling hand flew to her mouth, and as she struggled to stand, he saw her heave.
Lucius leapt to his feet; fear and anger surged through him—it couldn’t fail, not now! Gripping her bicep, he spun her around to face him, using his arm around her waist to pin her in place against him. From the corner of his eye, he saw her right hand swoop up in a tight arc, her wand pointed at his chest; he grabbed her wrist, squeezing and twisting, ignoring her gasp of pain. She struggled, and he tightened his grip until he felt the bones grind together; the wand fell from her limp fingers.
“You will stop this foolishness!” he snarled out, pushing her away from him and swiftly moving to pick up the dropped wand. “Decide now whether to help me or slink away; do not waste my time or Severus’!”
“I… I can’t,” she muttered weakly, massaging her reddened wrist and watching him warily.
“What could possibly stop you?” he demanded. “Legilimens!”
Ignoring her startled gasp and look of betrayal, he forced his way into her brain. No perceived comity on her part would stop him from ensuring that she cured Severus. Using the anger and resentment that had bubbled away beneath the surface for the last four years, he ploughed through her mind, searching for something that would either answer his questions or force her to learn what she thought she had to learn.
~X~“Foolish fop!” the man muttered viciously as he stormed through the ward. “Somethin’ akin to a chthonic being is on some demonic peregrination, and he’s worried about manners!” he spat out while unlocking the door to his office.
“First sign of madness,” said a voice jovially from behind him, “talking to oneself.”
“Healer!” he let out in a surprised gasp. “Just the ramblings of an old man; ignore me.”
“Quite fortunate for me that you have such a tendency to prattle on,” said the young man with a strange smile haunting his face. Suddenly, Meadowes felt quite vulnerable. “Oh, yes,” he breathed as he stepped closer. “You used to mutter in my room all the time; no doubt, the result of working alone for so long.”
Meadowes backed into his office—a stupid, silly thing to do, but his brain was still processing all the hints—and the Healer followed, closing the door behind him—her!
31st August.
1. comity
2. berate
3. peregrination
4. naif
5. chthonic
6. redress
7. fop
.......Words with Definitions. ......
comity \KOM-uh-tee\, noun:
1. A state of mutual harmony, friendship, and respect, especially
between or among nations or people; civility.
2. The courteous recognition by one nation of the laws and
institutions of another.
3. The group of nations observing international comity.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
berate \bih-RAYT\, transitive verb:
To scold severely or angrily.
------------ --------- --------- --------
peregrination \pehr-uh-gruh-NAY-shun\, noun:
A travelling from place to place; a wandering.
------------ --------- --------- ---------
naif \nah-EEF; ny-\, adjective:
1. Naive.
noun:
1. A naive or inexperienced person.
------------ --------- --------- ---------
chthonic \THONE-ik\, adjective:
Dwelling in or under the earth; also, pertaining to the underworld
------------ --------- --------- --
redress \rih-DRES\, transitive verb:
1. To put in order again; to set right; to emend; to revise.
2. To set right, as a wrong; to repair, as an injury; to make amends
for; to remedy; to relieve from.
3. To make amends or compensation to; to relieve of anything unjust
or oppressive; to bestow relief upon.
noun:
1. The act of redressing; a making right; reformation; correction;
amendment.
2. A setting right, as of wrong, injury, or oppression; as, the
redress of grievances; hence, relief; remedy; reparation;
indemnification.
------------ --------- --------- ---
fop \FOP\, noun:
A man who is overly concerned with or vain about his dress and
appearance; a dandy.
Story Actions
To follow, favorite, like, and more either log in or create an account.
Leave a Review
Log in to leave a review.
Latest 25 Reviews for For Him
267 Reviews | 5.69/10 Average
Gosh... Can't you authors make things less complicated and angsty for once? ;))
Magnificent first chapter! Why isn't this fanfic completed yet?
This is very nice. (At least the last part, not Bella, of course.) Hermione's conflicts are very clear and believable, and I love the way you've shown young Sev. I'm a bit worried about older Severus--I'd like to see him a bit stronger, since it looks as if Bella will find him soon. But I wonder where Lucius has got to, now? Sorry to hear about your hands--that can be really painful. Have you tried a dictation program? They're amazing, once you learn them and get them used to your voice.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you again. It's reassuring for me that the characters and their interactions are believable. I've never really considered the dictation program--partly because I had no idea that such a thing existed, and partly because I find it very difficult to talk when I'm writing. That probably makes no sense, but everything seems to go straight from brain to fingers. Thank you... I'm hoping the fingers will start to behave soon, as most of my hobbies and work involves them. On the other hand, I do have a good excuse now as to why my granny squares look like some temporal distortion as seen on Star Trek.
You write so much better when you aren't trying to fit it around the vocabulary words! You clearly have a wonderful, convoluted plot in mind (assuming that all the threads eventually come together), and yet I have frequently been tempted to abandon your story, reading it through, because of the awkwardness of the language. It's never wise to try to use arcane words based only on their definitions, since the words you were given all have hooks and connotations and if you aren't fully familiar with the universe of the words you use, you can make errors that are really jarring--especially in writing that is otherwise smooth and competent. . I'm so glad the challenge is over, and I look forward to the rest of the story. (Except Bella, who is simply disgusting--those fingers!)
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for your review and kind words. The drabble challenge was thrilling and... challenging. Trying to get it all done in less than 1,000 words was also very trying. I'm so glad that you managed to get past the vocabulary. My ignorance must have shone through quite a lot in the chapters, but I did enjoy the challenge of learning new words and trying to do them justice; I think it helped me quite a lot. It was great fun. Thank you again for the review.
"Armed with his wit—a wit that had kept him dancing just one step ahead of death for decades—and a fierce determination to discover if he could finally call himself free, Snape rode his anger like a devil and stepped into the storm."That? Is one of the most glorious sentences I've read in a long time. It made me *shiver* with pleasure and anticipation.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for the review, and I'm sorry for the delay in response. I'm so thrilled that the line was a good one. Thank you for reading.
VERY INTERESTING READING. WHAT SUSPENSE! I FOUND THIS STORY AGAIN, I READ IT LAST YEAR AND ITS STILL WHERE IT WAS, I HOPE YOU ARE WORKING ON AN UPDATE. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE. YOU HAVE ME HOOKED! ;D
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello. It's lovely to read your review. I am working, very slowly; I have had to put writing on hold for quite a while now. I hope to get back to everything 'fanfiction' in the next few weeks.
wow...just wow. this is so well written and interestingly plotted. thanks so much
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello again :) Thanks for reading!Thank you for those kind words. Hope you enjoy the rest of this tale.
This reality is terrifying. Will Snape be able to hold on to his sanity? Who is this voice he hears?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Hello :) It's lovely to see you again.Thank you for the review and the stars.I know this is mean, but you'll find out :D
OK, I got lost on this chapter. I'm going to re-read it tomorrow. So far the story is pretty good though.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you so much for that :) I hope that the next chapters make more sense.
I think Hermione should let someone else know what is going on. She is taking risks that don't need to be taken.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
True, but don't you find that logical people tend to be the last to see the logic of a situation, especially when it's personal.Thanks for the review and the stars :)
It's getting interesting. Poor Ron feels threatened by Hermione's distance I think.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you :)Ron always strikes me as being rather insecure; JKR makes him work hard for eveything.
Not bad, I'm wondering why Lucius isn't the ring leader.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Does he feel that he could be?Thanks again :)
The old man in this chapter, is he the same old man from the hospital?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Yes, he is. :)Thanks for the stars :)
Well, there is certainly some hidden agenda here.Not bad, although I'd like more description of thoughts, feelings etc. However, that may have been planned for this chapter.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review. This was in response to a Dictionary Drabble challenge, and as result, quite a few of the chapters are constrained by length and specific words to use. I didn't delve as much as I would have liked. Hopefully, the chapters will become more satisfying as they go on.I will say that I have changed the rating, as the story does darken in places; this may not yet be apparent, so I thought I'd warn you about the rating change--just in case it's now not quite your cup of tea. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)
Good start, I liked how you had Hermione as compassionate 'healing the soul, instead of the body'.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)
I as a little confused about Bella's plan as well, but then I read your reply to ClayPotter and and went all "ah!".The parts about Snape are about the best I have read in a long time! Wow! As for “I’m not crabby; I’m complicated.” I am so going to print that on a t-shirt!/M
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review :) Some aspects of this were written so long ago, that I think some pieces aren't connecting as well as they should. I will fix that!I really enjoyed going back to Snape--the poor dear has been neglected.Shucks! I should have thought of the t-shirt thing first! I will--promise!--get to your wonderful story as soon as some annoying other stuff has disappeared :)
I hate to admit this but, I am totally confused now. I can only assume that Bella put a finger inside each of Hermione and Draco, then wiped their memories clean of the horrible incident. So now she can take over either one of them at any moment as she wishes? But since she can only inhabit one person at a time, she is still inside Meadows during the house hunting incident?Please help me understand what is going on. That previous chapter was so horrifying, and this one makes no mention of their torture, or how they got out of it, or anything.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Yes, she has put a finger inside them and wiped their memories. Bella is still in Meadowes. I will do another chapter with her as the main character; she can have a chat with Meadowes about what she's planning. That should clarify things. Her idea to use Hermione and Draco was very spur of the moment, but she needed somewhere safe to keep those fingers. The fingers are her anchor points, if you like. She can site one and travel to and from it at will, or use it to fall back on if one is destroyed. Think of inns dotted along long roads: resting places for travellers heading towards their destination. She has yet to place all of them--eight remaining. She herself cannot move more than a set distance from her current anchor, so she needs the anchor to be carried--Draco and Hermione have the anchors with them at all times and carry them around--Bella doesn't have to possess either of them, but she can use them as a base to possess someone else. Bella knows that Hermione wants to help Snape and that she has access to all those who worked against Voldemort (the Order members, including Harry); all those who Bella wishes to take vengeance upon. It makes no mention, because no one knows--there are hints ... Hermione rubbing her belly, thinking that she ate something funny, but nothing else, because if they knew, they'd remove what they were carrying. Bella didn't want to torture them as such; granted, she enjoyed doing it (she IS a nutcase, remember :D), but she didn't want to create any lasting problems. I hope that clarified something... anything....
Response from ClayPotter (Reviewer)
Yes, I understand now. Thanks so much for the clarification.
Sorry. Can't read any more. Your rating is too low. The gratuitous violence of Wrapping Gifts bumps it into MA, and I'm not interested in Bella enough to continue reading this.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Fair enough. Thanks for reading thus far. I will, of course, ask one of the admins to seek their opinion on the rating and change it accordingly, and I will use their advice to rate future chapters.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for pointing out the inappropriate rating. I have upped it to M(R)--for mature teens.
ooooooo!
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Given the stars, I'm edging my bets that that was a good 'ooooooo!' :DGlad you're liking it!Thank you.
Response from keske (Reviewer)
yeah! a very good OOOOOO!
So, how are they going to get out of that?!
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
It's a bit tricky, isnt it? :DThanks for staying with this story and for reviewing :)
wow! i'm speachless! thanks so much
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Glad you liked it :)Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Hanibal Lector meets The Exorcist. I'm impressed!And as horrible Bella is, I must tell you how much I love the way you depict Lucius and Narcissa. Truly lovely./M
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)They just want their happy-ever-after. Thanks for reading... makes me all giddy with happiness :)
So far our heroes are always being out flanked by Bella. Are they ever going to win and cure Severus?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thank you for the review :)In truth, they're not actually fighting against Bella--they have no idea that Bella is even up and around and a problem. What is happening here is taking place over a few days. I guess that posting at rather irregular intervals may be seemingly stretching this out--sorry :(The ingredients arrived on Friday, they saw 'Meadowes' on Saturday and by Wednesday, the Malfoys will be... possiby... your neighbours :DBella is following her own little agenda, and Hermione and Draco are now a huge part of that... whether they want to be or not.I can sense your possible frustration, so I'll try and get some very long chapters done to help speed this along. Many thanks for reading this story and taking the time to review :)
That was dark. How is this going to work out?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review.This is the darkest chapter in this story. I won't be delving into such shadows again. Err... are you asking if this is going to have a 'happy-ending'? Or are you just querying if the story will descend into a pure horror tale?
Response from makaem (Reviewer)
It was more of a general whine on my part. I like to guess where I think a story is headed-- in this case I'm drawing a blank, at least for anything that will bode well for Hermione. So I'll just have to wait. As for the question, I don't really expect to get an answer (although one would be nice), I stick those in a lot of my reviews. It means I like a story enough to do the equivalent of thinking outloud. But, as a general rule, do you do horror stories?
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
So... you like the story *grins* but feel that it could do with some more clues.... okay. I've just responded to another email about doing some longer chapters to help speed things up... I'll see if I can also make them more satisfying for you.Regarding horror, I do enjoy reading horrror and some of my stories do incorporate the genre. Maybe I will write one dedicated to it s some point.Thank you for reviewing and reading the story :)
Response from makaem (Reviewer)
Crap, now I feel awkward. I didn't do a very good job of answering your question. I started to say that I was usually pretty good at figuring out plot line, but that your story was keeping me guessing. Then I decided that sounded too arrogant on my part... You don't need to drop more clues. Your story is great just the way you've written it. I meant that as a complement, but I didn't say it very well. MA
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
I didn't mean to make you feel awkward--sorry.My concern was that I was being far too vague and not providing enough information, resulting in a confusing and inaccesible plot. I can breathe easy now... you're enjoying the story.Thank you for the lovely compliment :)
Oh, okay, Poor Severus hope from a patch of blue sky, and then lost it. Meadows - he's so trapped. I hope Hermione sees rigth through him.
Response from sweetflag (Author of For Him)
Thanks for the review :)I'm sure that he'll have his patch of blue again.Next chapter is in the queue... and well... er... :D