Drink

A/N: Yay!! It's update day... Enjoy the fireworks!

To her own heart, which was shaped exactly like a valentine, there came a wing like palpitation, a delicate exigency, and all the fragrance of all the flowery springtime love affairs that ever were seemed waiting for them in the whisky bottle. ~ Jean Stafford, The Collected Stories of Jean Stafford

Hermione managed to get to breakfast at in the Great Hall on time for once, and she sat down beside Severus with a small smile on her face.

'Hello Severus,' she said quietly. 'I didn't see you around yesterday.'

Severus nodded in her direction. 'I was out of the castle all day.'

Hermione felt a twinge in her stomach when she realised that he was in no mood for conversation and that more than that, his previous good humour with her seemed to have vanished. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. His hair looked worse than she had seen it in a while, and he looked even more tired than she herself felt. He was staring out at the students with a familiar scowl on his face, and Hermione worried her bottom lip with her teeth before trying again.

'I was hoping to start the next phase of the trial on Friday, if you are free?' Hermione felt him tense at her words, and she sighed deeply. She should have known there tentative friendship would crumble at the first sign of weakness on her part. 'Obviously, if you've changed your mind I could approach someone else?'

'Did I say I had changed my mind?' Severus looked at her with a steely gaze and his jaw clenched.

'No, but... I just thought.... Well, never mind then.' Hermione felt tears pricking her eyes at his cold response to her. There was nothing of her friend Severus in that gaze, but all of Professor Snape. Suddenly Hermione found she wasn't hungry, so she pushed her plate away and stood to leave.

'Goodbye, then,' she said miserably. Severus just looked at her blankly and didn't reply, so she walked away as fast as she could, hoping against all hope that he couldn't see how upset she was. With a heavy heart, she hurried down to the dungeons and into the Potions classroom.

There were days when Hermione didn't feel at all confident in her ability to teach, days when she felt was too young and should still be sitting facing her Professors. Today was going to be one of those days, and she opened the drawer of her desk and withdrew a Calming Draught, swallowing a good mouthful. She felt the effects almost immediately. She had created the potion herself, making it stronger and longer lasting. If she was honest with herself, she knew full well that she was immune to the regular strength potion due to overdosing herself with it.

She put the instructions for today's potion on the board, and stared at the rows of potions benches before her. In her minds eye, she could see herself, Harry and Ron in their usual places. Her face would have been alert and eager to learn, whereas Harry would be stony and most of the time furious with Snape even before he had opened his mouth to speak. Ron would just try and keep his head down and try to get through the lesson as quickly as possible, without drawing attention to himself. Hermione wondered how her own students viewed her, and if she inspired any of them with her teachings the way that Severus had inspired her. It was one of the things she would probably never know.

A knock at the door pulled her out of her daydream, and she smiled with a confidence she didn't feel when Phoebe Gilroy entered the room.

'Good Morning Professor,' Phoebe said as she took her seat. Seeing that her student was early, Hermione took the opportunity to talk with her before everyone else arrived.

'Hello, Phoebe. Did you get chance to discuss the Healer apprenticeship with your father?' Hermione watched as Phoebe took her potions text book from her bag, obviously stalling before answering.

'I'm going to Salem, Professor. My father feels it is for the best.' Phoebe looked at Hermione, and she could see the disappointment and sadness in the girls' face.

'Oh dear. Perhaps if I wrote to him...' she started.

'No!' Phoebe exclaimed, a look of horror on her face. Hermione stared at her in shock as the reality of the situation hit her. Gaius Gilroy would not allow his precious Slytherin pure-blood daughter to be influenced in any way by her Mudblood Potions teacher, even if it was for her own betterment. Hermione felt her anger bubble up, and she turned away from Phoebe briskly as the rest of her students filed into their seats. It wasn't Phoebe's fault, Hermione knew that, but her temper flared at the thought of such an outdated way of thinking damaging the potential of such a gifted student.

'Quiet everyone!' Hermione raised her voice, something she rarely did, and her students looked up at her warily. 'Instructions are on the board. Get on with it,' she said, her voice harsh. She resolved to seek out the Head of Slytherin House at the earliest opportunity and tell him exactly what she thought of Phoebe Gilroy's admirable parentage.

***

Severus wasn't fairing much better in his first class of the day, Hufflepuff and Raveclaw first years. He had set them a test but allowed them to refer to their text books for reference, and the room was filled with the sounds of scratching quills and pages being turned. He sat behind the desk, giving the semblance of concentration. It was trick he had learned during the Dark Lord's revels, to remain calm and still while his thoughts ran riot, with no-one any the wiser.

He was feeling guilty at the way he had treated Hermione at breakfast, and his stomach was roiling with it. It wasn't her fault that he had been so cool towards her, and he hadn't meant to take his bad mood out on her the way that he had. Spending time in Spinner's End and then dealing with Winky had triggered off a familiar nightmare, and he hadn't been able to shake the sense of dread afterwards. He wished that communication between them was smoother, that they could talk in the easy way she did with Harry Potter.

The reality, which had hit him as soon as the witch had scurried away, was that he had grown to care for her far more than he had realised. He couldn't call it love, but he knew that it had the potential to be, and now he had hurt her and was feeling like the total shit that he was. He wanted to apologise, to grovel at her feet and beg her to not turn away from him as Lily had done. He didn't find it easy, dealing with emotions, and he lacked experience with relationships. Communicating with women really wasn't his strong point, and although he knew he had had treated her badly, he had no idea how to make things right again.

He focussed his attention on the class, and noticed a Hufflepuff girl with her hand raised.

'Yes, Miss Carson?' He stood and pulled his frock coat down smartly before walking over to the witch. The girl started to tremble under his gaze, and he mentally sighed. His reputation preceded him still, and he wondered if there would ever be a day that he would just be seen as a Professor and not a former Death Eater.

'Sorry, Professor,' Sally Carson said quietly. 'I don't feel well.' She cast her eyes down to study the toes of his boots.

'Go to Madame Pomfrey, child. You may return after supper tonight to complete your test.' He tried to inject kindness into his words, and as the girl looked up at him with grateful eyes, he felt a tingle of warmth. He stood aside to let her pass by, and heard her whisper a soft thank you as she passed. Heartened, he walked slowly down the rows of desks to the bottom of the classroom and marvelled at how a simple word of thanks had made his heart feel suddenly lighter. Perhaps apologising to Hermione would be as easy. He walked back to his desk and checked the time, then turned to the class.

'Tests on my desk. You may leave. Quietly,' he added, wincing at the sudden scrape of chairs on the wooden floor. As he went to close the door on the last student to leave, he saw Hermione walking towards him, her face full of fury. He braced himself for the storm, thinking he was about to get his just desserts and not blaming her one bit.

'Can I speak with you, Professor Snape? It is a school matter,' she said firmly, as if speaking to him about anything else was the last thing she wanted. Severus felt himself shrinking beneath her gaze and ushered her in, closing the door to the curious gaze of students walking past.

'What can I do for you, Professor Granger?' Severus fought to keep his face blank and clasped his hands behind his back to stop himself from reaching for her. Her hair had come loose from its ponytail, and he itched to tuck the stray curls behind her ear. Her eyes flashed with anger, and she took a breath before letting rip.

'Gaius Gilroy is a total bastard, Severus!' Hermione spat at him. 'I managed to secure a fantastic opportunity for Phoebe with Augustus Pye, but because I suggested it, because the idea came from her Mudblood Professor, he wont even entertain it! Honestly, he doesn't even care what the girl wants, and Severus, she is so talented, so skilled. She deserves so much better!'

Severus crossed his arms and leant against his desk as he watched Hermione pace and shout in front of him. Her breathing was laboured by the sheer force of her temper, causing her breasts to rise ad fall with each breath. Her robes flared as she walked, almost rivalling his own, cheeks held two, rosy pink spots, and her eyes sparked as she vented on behalf of her student. Severus imagined her passion in the throes of orgasm as he watched her, and felt the urge to grab her and kiss her to shut her up. He settled on letting out a small chuckle instead, and immediately realised it was the wrong thing to do. Hermione turned and started towards him, her eyes narrowed.

'Something amusing you, Snape? I suppose you think I'm getting my comeuppance, don't you? I mean, how dare Hermione Granger, Mudblood witch and friend of the always despised Harry Potter think she has the right to teach Slytherins!'

'Hermione,' Severus tried to interrupt her, holding up his hand to stop her and failing.

'No. I've had enough. You don't like me. I get it. But surely even you can see that Phoebe deserves this chance? Or perhaps I was wrong about you and you still uphold the Dark Lord's beliefs after all?'

Severus blanched at her words and reeled back as if struck. Suddenly he saw himself in her eyes, still a Death Eater and not to be trusted. He felt himself shudder at the coldness that ran through him, her words chilling him as she cut him to the quick.

'You forget yourself, Professor. I will consider Miss Gilroy's situation, and I will thank you to get out of my classroom.' Severus turned, his cheeks burning at her words and waited for the door to close behind her.

'Severus, I'm sorry... I didn't mean that, I didn't,' Hermione whispered, her voice trembling.

'I have a class in two minutes. Just leave,' he muttered. He sat in his chair and pointedly ignored her, and was grateful when his next students arrived and left her no choice but to go. He sensed her eyes on him as she left, and he waved his hand to close the door on her without looking up.

***

Hermione felt the flutter of nerves as she approached the door to Severus' quarters. She clutched his old bottle of Ogden's in her hand and hoped he would accept it as a peace offering, even if it had been his Firewhiskey to begin with.

He hadn't appeared for lunch or dinner in the Great Hall, and Hermione couldn't blame him. What she had said was rude and unforgivable, and she really hadn't meant it. She desperately wanted him to take her seriously, to not treat her like a student. He had laughed at her, but that was not an excuse for her words. She didn't understand what was wrong with her. She knew exactly what Severus' role had been during the war, and the huge sacrifices he had made. Hermione had such respect for him and had grown to care for Severus in a way she hadn't even begun to unravel, and she would never knowingly hurt him. She just had to make him believe that.

Hermione smoothed down her white shirt, then ran her hand subconsciously over the back of her hair in a vain attempt to tame it, and then knocked firmly on the door. She waited a moment and was about to knock again when the door was wrenched open. Severus looked dishevelled, his frock coat open to reveal a white shirt, unbuttoned at the neck and giving a glimpse of pale, smooth skin. His hair was lank and seemed greasier than ever, and Hermione caught a whiff of whisky on his breath as he grunted at her.

'What do you want now?' he snapped, blocking the doorway and not letting her get a toe over the threshold.

'Please, Severus. I want to apologise. Can we talk?' Hermione looked up at him with pleading eyes, but his eyes darkened and he took a step closer. She wasn't going to allow him to intimidate her now she had come so far, so she stood her ground and stared him out, hoping he couldn't tell that her knees wanted to give way.

'I do not want your apology, Granger. Just leave me be,' he muttered. He stepped backwards and made to close the door, but Hermione could sense the fight had gone from his words and decided to use a little Slytherin in her approach.

'If that's what you want, Severus, I'll just go and drink this by myself,' she said quietly, lifting the bottle of Ogden's to his view. 'Of course, if I drink the whole bottle I might have a few problems teaching the Slytherin third years' tomorrow morning.'

Hermione held his gaze, and was about to walk away when she saw him give in.

'Don't be ridiculous, witch. And if I'm not mistaken that bottle is mine anyway. Come in, if you must.' Severus stepped aside, and Hermione felt her stomach flip over at her victory. She hadn't thought it would be so easy.

She walked into Severus' quarters and realised immediately why he had wanted to live here instead of the dungeon. The room living room was spacious and bright, the walls painted with a pale stone colour that worked as a backdrop to the comfortable furnishings. An ornate rug sat before the hearth, surrounded by a comfortable- looking brown sofa and two matching armchairs. At the opposite side of the room a large, stained glass window looked out over the lake and beyond that the Forbidden Forest. She almost jumped when Severus spoke in her ear.

'Jealous, Granger?'

She turned and glared at him for startling her, but laughed when he raised his trademark eyebrow and grabbed the bottle from her hand.

'Glasses are on the table beside the fire,' he murmured.

Hermione smiled at him and went to collect two glasses. When she turned back, the bottle was on the table in front of the sofa and Severus was nowhere to be seen. Shrugging, she sat on the sofa and poured a small measure of firewhisky for herself and a larger one for Severus. She lifted her glass and swirled the liquid, wondering where he had gone to in such a hurry. Her question was immediately answered when he stepped out of what she assumed was his bedroom, dressed in a black t-shirt rather than his shirt and frock coat. The fabric of the t-shirt clung to his torso as he walked, and she found herself transfixed by the broadness of his shoulders and the sliver of flesh that appeared when he bent to lift his glass and the t-shirt rode up his back slightly. Hermione looked away quickly and took a slug of her drink to distract herself. Unfortunately she was not used to drinking neat spirits, and the whisky almost choked her as she swallowed. She started to cough, and then splutter, until she felt a warm hand on her shoulder and took the glass of water Severus held for her. She drank the cool liquid and gave him a rueful grin, trying hard not to sigh at the loss as he removed his hand

'Thanks. Making a good showing so far, aren't I?' Hermione put the two glasses down and sat rubbing her legs in anticipation of what she needed to say.

'You should mix a little water with it,' he said, gesturing at the drinks. Hermione watched as he slumped into the chair beside her and stretched his long legs out before him, crossing his sock-covered feet at the ankles.

'I am so, so sorry for what I said to you this morning, Severus. You know that I didn't mean it, don't you?' Hermione looked at him as he sipped his whisky and closed his eyes. It was always so hard to tell what he was thinking.

'You should engage your brain before you shoot your mouth off,' he said. 'I have had worse said to me, Granger, and I have no energy left in me to fight.' He opened his eyes and looked at her. 'We are and have always been on the same side.'

Hermione laughed in relief, and raised her glass at him. 'You and me against the bad guys,' she said, then swallowed the rest of her now diluted firewhisky.

'Indeed,' he murmured in agreement. He leaned forward and shoved the bottle in her direction, and Hermione grabbed it with a grin.