16. In Another World

16. In Another World

It was Friday, and Hermione was again bending over her cauldron and stirring, counting carefully as she observed the colour of the swirling liquid and hoping that this would have her project complete. She suddenly started feeling a little odd.

'Severus!' she shouted through the open lab door. In a few moments, Severus appeared at the door and walked over to where she was standing. With a resigned look on his face, he kissed her softly.

'Thanks,' she murmured and then turned her attention back to the potion.

'No problem,' he murmured in reply and went back to the front of the shop.

Over the course of the week, it had become evident that Hermione suffered the effects of them being apart sooner than Severus, and they had got into a routine so that they would know to come together as soon as she started to weaken. In the beginning, it had been amusing and not unwelcome to share kisses while at work, but more recently, it had become a chore and had lost some of its charm.

Severus turned the sign on the door and locked it securely. He pulled his robes from his arms and hung them beside Hermione's on the hook by the lab door and went in to see how she was progressing. He watched her, crouched over the cauldron, brow furrowed in concentration as she bit her lip and continued stirring. Her hair was tied securely at her nape and revealed her long, graceful neck. Severus was reminded of the night they were revealed to each other and couldn't believe it was only a week ago that she had stood before him in her red dress, looking so beautiful that he had been speechless. He smiled softly and walked over to her, unable to resist planting kisses on her creamy skin.

'I'm feeling alright, Severus. You don't need to kiss me,' Hermione murmured as she stopped stirring.

Severus stiffened a little and stepped away from her.

'Very well,' he stated.

Hermione looked at him suddenly.

'Oh, gods, I'm sorry, Severus. I was so tied up with the potion. I didn't mean I didn't want you to kiss me....'

'It's perfectly fine, Hermione. Are you almost done?' Severus's jaw was set as the burn of her rejection settled in his stomach and tied knots.

'I just need to decant this. Next week, we can begin the trials.' She smiled unsurely at him.

'Good. I will help. Then perhaps we can go and eat? I'm hungry,' he muttered, avoiding her eyes and not returning her smile.

Since he had acknowledged his feelings for her, being in her company was becoming almost painful.

They had spent the first night in his bed, both of them so exhausted they had just fallen asleep. The second night, they had compromised and ate at Hermione's flat, spending an enjoyable hour on her sofa before Apparating back to Spinner's End. But something had to be done. Neither of them was used to spending so much time in another person's company, and the more she lay beside him, the more he wanted to make love to her. So much so that the previous evening, he had suggested she retire early so that she would be sleeping when he came to bed. Her hands on him were like a sweet torture, and he felt it would be easier if they didn't explore each other too much. It just left him wanting more, and he was so scared he would be pushed over the edge and end up doing something he would regret.

The irony of it was that he knew he only had to say the words, and she would be his. He had been close, tip of the tongue close, on a couple of occasions. But he just hadn't been able to do it.

Hermione started to decant her potion into the prepared phials, and as she did so, Severus stoppered and sealed them and moved them onto the storage shelf. Hermione was feeling very sad. Over the last few days, Severus had withdrawn himself from her, and she felt as lonely as she had done before her visit to Valentine Passiflora. They still kissed a little, through necessity, but he hadn't touched her in two nights, and she started to feel that he was regretting the whole situation. They were hardly talking. Most evenings they sat and read separately with no discussion, no debates like they used to have at work, and she admitted to herself that she was actually missing the way things were before. Hermione filled the last phial and Scourgified the cauldron quickly before turning to Severus.

'Where do you want to go tonight?' she asked him.

'I would prefer to return home this evening, if that suits you?' he replied, his gaze taking in her tight t-shirt and the knots in his stomach tightening slightly. His cock gave him away by becoming hard almost immediately, and he turned, walking to collect their robes.

'That's okay, Severus... I suppose we will need to decide how the weekend will go, too,' she murmured half to herself as she took her cloak and fastened it around herself.

Severus felt his heart drop. He had forgotten they would need to spend the whole weekend together. He felt as if his body would be on fire at the end of it.

'Let's go. We can go and get something to eat first. I'm too tired to cook,' he muttered.

Hermione gave him a small smile and took his hand in hers.

'I'm sorry, Severus, she said softly, her eyes a little glassy.

'For what?' He frowned down at her, his breathing a little stilted as her body pressed against his slightly.

'For everything... This whole situation. If you think it's a good idea, we could contact Valentine and see if there is a let out clause or something...?' Hermione bit her lip, hoping he would say no.

Severus stared at her, her words piercing his heart like small daggers with poisoned tips. She had obviously decided this was a bad idea. Damn her. He had let her get too close, and now, here was the rejection he had known would come.

'Whatever you think is best, Hermione,' he whispered hoarsely.

Hermione let go of his hand, and he saw anger flashing in her eyes.

'Fine. I'll owl her now, shall I? See if we can get out of having to spend the weekend together, because I know how much you hate this. I can see it in your face,' she spat at him.

'It was your suggestion,' he muttered. 'I get the feeling you are hating this more than I, Hermione.'

Severus's voice was dangerously soft, but Hermione was too furious with him to recognise the signs.

'I am hating it... I hate that you bristle every time we have to do something that's not in your routine. I hate that we don't talk any more. You are my best friend, Severus, or haven't you realised that? And now, this has thrown everything up in the air! The thing I hate most is that you haven't touched me in two days! Do I repel you suddenly, Severus? Because you certainly enjoyed it before!'

Hermione's mouth twisted into an ugly grimace as she snarled at him. She turned and walked to the other side of the lab, her fists clenched as she fought the urge to punch something.

Severus was on her in an instant, grabbing her shoulders and pushing her against the wall of the lab.

'OUCH! Severus, what are you doing?' Hermione glared at him, pushing against his hands to no avail.

Severus held her firmly and moved his face close to her, his lips curled in a familiar sneer she hadn't seen since her school days.

'You think it's been easy for me, do you, Hermione? I let you into my home, and within minutes, you were poking your nose into my memories, making me feel again. I let you into my bed, touch you, and please you. I have never touched a woman the way I touch you; did you know that? Of course not, because it's all about you, isn't it? And the more I touch you, the more I want you. But no, we can't make love until you're ready, because you don't know if I love you.' Severus glared at her, his eyes a little wild.

'It is torture, Hermione, to lie beside you and not make love to you.... Worse than being tortured by the Dark Lord himself,' he hissed softly.

They stood still for a long moment until Severus relaxed his grip and stepped away from her, turning his back, his shoulders slumped and trembling. Hermione was shaking, fear and anger battling inside her.

'Do you love me, Severus?' Hermione demanded.

Severus stiffened, his eyes closed, his hands clenched tightly. Hermione saw him tense, but like a dog with a bone, she wasn't going to let go, and she stepped closer to him. She wanted to touch him but was scared to, not knowing his reaction. She took a deep breath.

'I love you, Severus, if that helps... I don't want to end this; I want to make it work. Tell me, Severus.' Hermione saw Severus relax his shoulders a little, and he turned to face her.

Severus looked at her, her eyes bright, her hair hanging loose now around her shoulders. She was smiling at him, her face tipped upwards as she waited for him to speak. He opened his mouth, and nothing came out; his heart started to pound in his chest.

'Just say it,' Hermione murmured, stepping closer to him and sliding her arms around his waist slowly.

'Hermione....' Severus paused, and she smiled brightly at him. He took a sharp breath.

It was the smile from the photograph.

It's a while since I read this and I just remembered, the chapter title is taken from a Barry Manilow song...!

'In another world, I would walk away.

But not in this world.'

I think I might just be a genius! :p