14. Darkness Rising

14.Darkness Rising

Severus watched Hermione's face closely as they approached the front door of his home in Spinner's End. It was not a particularly welcoming dwelling, and the derelict houses on either side, accompanied with the ramshackle railings and grimy, smoke-covered windows of most of the houses in the terrace, made the whole thing seem unwelcoming. Severus was aware of this, and it had served him well during the war. It had also suited his mood. He hoped the inside of the house would be more reassuring to her, but he still felt a small knot of apprehension as he withdrew his wand and took down his wards. It had been a long time since another human being had crossed his threshold, and the last time... He shook his head ruefully as the memory of Narcissa's Unbreakable Vow washed over him.

Hermione was watching as the emotions passed across Severus's face like storm clouds gathering. She took his hand and squeezed it gently.

'Would you feel happier if we went to my flat instead, Severus? I don't mind, really....' She smiled at him softly, and he knew she could see his internal battles before he had even had to voice them.

'No... no. It's perfectly fine. I just... Well, my home is not a castle, nor is it beautiful, Hermione. It would not have been my intention for you to see it as it is.... I hope you will forgive me.' Severus paused with his hand on the door handle a moment.

'Open the door, Severus.' Hermione nudged him a little and laughed under her breath.

Severus allowed himself a small smile. Now it was her turn to reassure him. He pushed the door open, and they stepped into a small hallway with narrow stairs leading up and one door off the cramped space that lead into a sitting room. With a flick of his wand, flames appeared in the small, Victorian fireplace and candles in sconces flickered on the walls.

Hermione stepped into the room and smiled. It was wonderfully cosy and suited Severus perfectly. Along with a soft, cream couch and a cream rug over dark-stained floorboards, a large armchair sat beside the fire. It was covered in dark brown leather and looked old and battered and cracked along the arms. It suited him, she mused. She squinted a little at an old, framed photograph on the mantle and stepped closer to see it. There was a woman with hair a little longer than Severus's and not quite as dark, holding hands with a small boy in an oversized shirt and shorts. She was smiling at the camera, but the boy had a slight scowl on his face.

'Eileen Snape...' Hermione whispered under her breath.

Severus had been watching her as her eyes had explored the room and started to relax a little as he realised she wasn't repelled, but he took a sharp intake of breath as he heard her say his mother's name.

'How did you know?' he murmured softly, and Hermione spun around, realising she had spoken out loud. She caught his eye and saw pain and a flash of irritation there.

'I'm sorry, Severus.... The Half-blood Prince....' She shrugged a little. 'You know how I love to find answers, and besides, you look like her.' Hermione smiled warmly at him and turned back to look at the photograph for a moment.

'I will show you your room,' Severus said a little stiffly and turned. Hermione heard him as he started to walk up the stairs and sighed, slowly following him.

Severus hated his house, if he was honest with himself, but it was the memory of his mother that made him stay. It held no pleasant memory for him, no happy family time spent reading together or playing board games by the fire. On darker nights when the Firewhisky was doing its worst, Severus saw his father in the shadows and drank more until he disappeared.

They reached the narrow landing, and Severus lit the sconces. The walls were cream, and a threadbare carpet ran the length of the floor, not quite reaching the walls and tacked to the boards with old, rusted nails.

'Parts of the house need attention. I try and look past it,' he muttered. He was starting to wish they had gone to her flat after all.

Severus walked to a room at one end of the landing and opened it, peering inside. He sighed.

'I was thinking you could use this room. I haven't been in here for years. I forgot how bad it was....' He shook his head.

Hermione peered inside the room. An old, iron-framed single bed sat along one wall, flanked by a large, dark, wooden wardrobe. A single window alongside it looked over the front street, and a small wicker chair sat along the other wall. The whole room was a little dingy, with dark, flowered wallpaper and cobwebs the only decorations, along with a layer of dust.

'Severus....' Hermione took his hand in hers, and he felt the warmth against his palm. 'Look at me...'

He looked at her, his eyes heavily lidded, his throat constricted as he saw the compassion in her eyes.

'Severus, why haven't you cleansed your house?' Hermione looked at him incredulously.

'What, you mean, employ a house-elf or something?' He was confused.

'No... I mean... the negative energy, Severus. It's so oppressive; I'm surprised you can even breathe in here.' Hermione frowned at him.

There was no wonder he was so sullen a lot of the time. Hermione was no Seer, nor was she psychic, but even she could feel the heaviness in the house.

'Something awful happened up here, didn't it?' she whispered softly as she looked around the dark room.

Severus let go of her hand and stared at her for a moment. Hermione saw tears in his eyes, and he turned, his shoulders slumped as he walked back down the stairs.

Hermione waited for a moment, not sure what to do. She closed the door of the bedroom and walked back downstairs and into the lounge. Severus was standing with his back to her in front of the fire, his hands against the mantle, his shoulders bunched up slightly. He was breathing deeply, and Hermione realised that he was sobbing.

Tentatively, she approached him and ran her hands along his slim back, her fingers stroking him and trying to soothe him.

'Is your kitchen through there, Severus?' she asked him quietly.

Severus nodded, his breathing relaxing slightly as tears continued to fall from his eyes, unwanted and ashamed.

Hermione gave his shoulders a squeeze and planted a small kiss on his arm.

'Back in a little while,' she said softly.

She could feel tears in her own eyes, and she realised that something must have triggered a memory for him. Hermione knew that while he was here on his own, he was safe. No one could ask him awkward questions; no one would comment on the feel of the house, and his memories could lurk and remain unspoken. She had prompted this, and she felt helpless. So she decided to do what her mother used to do whenever there was an emotional crisis. Make food and hot tea and help Severus back from the precipice.

The little kitchen was lined along one wall with old Formica cupboards in pale blue, with silver metal handles. An old electric cooker stood beside a single, stainless steel sink, and a battered table with two lemon vinyl-covered chairs sat along the other wall. Hermione found two plain, white mugs and smiled to herself. She removed her wand and Transfigured them to match his mug at work and made two steaming mugs, one coffee and one tea. She found enough cheese, ham, and bread to make sandwiches, and two tins of vegetable soup. She had a feeling Severus needed something warm inside him. She sat everything on the table and walked back into the lounge. Severus was sitting in his armchair, his face covered by his hands. He couldn't see her, but he felt her.

'Hermione... forgive me...' he croaked and rubbed his face before his hands fell into his lap.

'If you forgive me first.... I asked too many questions. It wasn't my place, Severus. I'm so sorry.' Hermione walked over to his and rested her hand on his shoulder.

'It was unexpected.... I knew you would be curious, but I didn't expect my reaction to be so extreme. I have never shared my childhood willingly.... Potter saw only what I allowed him to see. There was much more.... Voldermort was kind at times, compared to my father....' Severus stared up at her and took her hand in his.

'Come and eat.' Hermione pulled Severus's hand a little and smiled at him. He was emotionally spent and curled himself out of his chair, allowing her to pull him into the kitchen. He sat heavily onto one of the chairs and started to eat, realising he was ravenous.

Hermione smiled as she watched him eating but felt sad as she saw the dark shadows around his eyes. This house was not healthy for him, and she wondered if he would allow her to cleanse it for him another day. She pushed his mug of coffee in front of him and lifted her own, sipping slowly and chewing on a sandwich. Severus put down his spoon and lifted the mug, his eyes widening as he looked at it. He looked at Hermione and smiled at her.

'You're drinking out of a Slytherin mug?' He chuckled.

'It's your home. You would hex me into next week if I had transfigured a Gryffindor one.' She smiled widely, relieved as he seemed more himself.

'I'm starting to think a little Gryffindor might not be a bad addition to my surroundings...' He looked at her pointedly and smirked.

'Oh, well, in that case....' Hermione grinned and withdrew her wand, pointing it at Severus's mug and Transfigured it to Gryffindor colours.

Severus laughed at her and she smiled.

'Are you feeling any better?' she asked him, taking her hand and covering his softly.

'I am... Thank you.' He looked away from her again and took a sandwich.

They ate until all the sandwiches were gone, and Hermione stacked the dirty dishes in the sink and began to run the tap. She heard Severus push his chair back and shivered as she felt him stand behind her, his hands on her shoulders, his face nuzzling her neck.

'Leave them... I want to show you my room,' he murmured in her ear, his warm breath causing her crotch to moisten with a gush.

Hermione leant against his chest and closed her eyes, feeling his heartbeat under her for a second. She turned and snaked her arms around his waist, looking up into his dark eyes.

'Don't you mean you want to show me your bed?' she murmured, her eyes serious, her mouth parted a little.

'Yes... That was what I meant.' Severus bent his head slowly, never taking his eyes from hers as he covered her lips with his and pushed his tongue into her mouth.

Hermione gasped and melted her body against him as he kissed her with increased fervour, his hand coming up to cup her breast gently. She pushed him away purposefully and smiled at him.

'Your bed, Severus,' she murmured, smiling as he took her hand and pulled her from the room.