Chapter Twenty-two: Can't Take My Eyes Off You

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine. If they were, I would keep them to myself to play with.

Chapter Twenty-two: Can't Take My Eyes off You

Hermione

I'm sure all the flowers and chocolates have softened everyone's brains. If they're not wandering around looking starry-eyed, they're pairing up and heading off to dark corners to snog or goodness knows what. And how can I be suitably irritable when I have roses still arriving every hour or so? Three more, for goodness sake!

I'm never going to live it down. Hermione Granger, the grinch of Valentine's Day, receiving roses from an unknown bloody admirer.

Thinking of admirers, where's that damned Snape? He didn't appear at breakfast, and I can't see him here now. He has to eat sometime. Although, he's a bigger killjoy on Valentine's Day than I am, so he's probably done the smart thing and hidden in his quarters.

Bastard.

He could have invited me.

I'm sure we could have found a way to occupy our time.

I've hardly seen him over the last week. He's probably avoiding me after the Astronomy Tower incident, the coward. It's not like he wasn't participating fully before his damned conscience got the better of him – again. I know one part of him was definitely eager to continue.

Oh, gods, here's another bloody owl. I thought half a dozen would have been enough. This must be costing some idiot a fortune.

Surprise, surprise, a rose. Perfect and red. Rather Gryffindor really. And another note.

And if you feel like I feel.

What's that supposed to mean?

There are no words left to speak. That doesn't seem to stop him.

I thank God I'm alive. So does everyone since the war, you prat.

There's nothing else to compare. With what?

Please let me know that it's real. I don't know what it is.

Pardon the way that I stare. Now, that's just creepy.

You'd be like heaven to touch. Creepier.

And if you feel like I feel.

I just don't get it! I should know what this means. It's so familiar. Perhaps all the perfume in the air today has scrambled my brains as well.

Oh, there's Severus. What's he smirking about? Thinks it's amusing, does he?

Funny that, I would have thought he would be jealous.

He should be jealous.

Why isn't he jealous?

Perhaps it's him.

No.

Snape. Roses?

Never.

***

"So, any more clues, Hermione?"

"No, Gin. Just more meaningless messages. Some of which are a little stalker-like. Look."

"Oh. I see what you mean."

"And everyone knows I'm getting them. Girls I've never spoken more than two words to are stopping me in the corridor and asking about the damn notes. I think I'll hide in my room this afternoon. I was nearly thrown out of the library this morning!"

"That would be a first. Look out, here comes another one!"

"The thought of you leaves me weak. Oh, for goodness sake. That's so..."

"Sweet. Romantic..."

"I was thinking more along the lines of sickening and pathetic."

"Hermione, you have no sense of romance."

"And I'll be the first to admit it. I just wish he would come forward, so I can at least tell him to shove off!"

"But you might change your mind when you find out who it is."

"There's only one man who could make me change my mind, and he's the last person who would send roses."

"There is someone? Really? You dark horse!"

"Fuck! I didn't mean to say that. I'm just so frustrated. Yes, there is someone. NO, I'm not telling you. Don't give me that look, Weasley. It won't work."

"Spoilsport!"

***

Hermione

Thank Merlin. Only two more since lunch. It's quite a lovely bunch now with ten roses. I suppose it would be too much to hope that this is it. They usually come in dozens, and there's the Valentine's feast to get through yet.

These last two messages are disturbing.

I want to hold you so much. At long last love has arrived.

He's serious, whoever he is.

I wish it was Severus.

Perhaps I should have sent him roses. No, he would have run a mile.

I could have showered him with rose petals at lunch. Would have been worth it to see the look on everyone's faces.

...

All right. It's nearly dinner time. Must stop imagining Severus naked and lying on a bed, strewn with rose petals barely covering his interesting bits.

Just a little longer.

Mmmm.

...

Now, where's that red dress? If I'm going to be receiving more roses, I might as well dress the part.

Dress. Hmm. Great cleavage, Hermione. Wonder if Severus will remember this dress from the Halloween Ball. He certainly appreciated it then.

Make-up. A little mascara and lipstick should do it. Wouldn't want to appear too interested.

Hair. Up or down? Up, I think. Makes me looks older. Just the thing for an insecure older man.

I think I'll go down to the dungeons after dinner and see what's up. Hopefully, Severus, if he lets me through the door.

...

Damn the man. What's the point in dressing like this if he isn't even going to turn up to dinner? Now, all the other unattached boys are going to think it's all for their benefit. As if I'd want a mere boy after having a man like Severus.

Oh, great. Here comes Malfoy the Magnificent. Bugger off. These breasts belong to your Head of House. Even if he is behaving like an idiot at the moment.

***

"Granger. I see you dressed up for me tonight. Or didn't dress, as the case may be. Fantastic assets you have there. Would you like to accompany me to the Slytherin table? Nothing like a little inter-house cooperation, is there?"

"The only inter-house anything you're going to receive is a good punch on the nose, Malfoy, if you don't stop staring down my dress. I said I didn't want to be your partner today, and I meant all day. Surely those roses I've been receiving all day tell you something?"

"I heard from a very good source you had no idea who was sending the roses. So that tells me there is no competition."

"I will tell you once and for all, I'm not interested in you, and I'll never be interested in you. There is someone else, and if he saw you ogling my breasts, you would probably lose any useful bits in your trousers. That is, if he got to you before I did. So do me and yourself a favour and GO AWAY!"

"All right, all right! I get it. You think you're too bloody good to associate with Slytherins."

"Oh, I don't mind Slytherins; it's just you I find offensive."

"Hermione!"

"What! Oh, it's you, Harry."

"Weren't you a bit harsh on Malfoy? I mean, he's a prat and all, but he has improved this year."

"What is it with you and Ginny sticking up for Malfoy? If you two like him so much, perhaps you should go out with him. Try a nice little threesome; I'm sure he'll know what to do!"

...

"I told you, Harry. If Snape doesn't see the light soon, she's going to be hell to live with."

"Too true, Ron, too true. I wonder if that is the dress."

"I'll bet is, and she's wearing it for Snape to get a good look at her cleavage and hopefully get a clue. Where did she go?"

"Over to our table. Do you think it's safe to join her yet?"

"No. I'd let her calm down first. We don't want a repeat of the canary incident."

"Eww. No. That was very scary, even for her."

"You deserved it though."

"Did not."

"Did so!"

"Boys! What are you arguing about?"

"Oh, nothing, Gin. Just waiting for Hermione to... er... settle."

"Why? What did you say this time, Ron?"

"Oi! It wasn't me. It was Malfoy. He tried propositioning her again."

"That pillock will never learn. Thinks he's Merlin's gift to witches young and old, that one. Sure, he's gorgeous, but fabulous hair and a buff body don't do it for every woman."

"Hey! Since when did you think Malfoy was gorgeous?"

"Don't worry, Harry. I prefer messy, black hair to blond. Besides, you know I appreciate your finer bits."

"I did not need that information, Ginny. You're my sister. You're not supposed to talk about my best friend's bits. Or not in front of me, at least."

"Oh, get over it, Ronald. Let's go and join Hermione. Looks like another owl is on its way."

"Great. That'll really ruin her mood."

"Maybe not. Look at the way she's smiling. Why is she looking at the staff table? Harry?"

"I've got a feeling she's figured out who's sending the roses."

"You know about her mysterious man?"

"Yeah. Of course. Why wouldn't we?"

"You were there, Ginny. New Year's Eve."

"No! Snape? I wondered, but she threw me off the scent by changing the subject!"

"And they say boys are clueless, Harry. I think Ginny goes around with her eyes closed half the time. Oi! Don't slap me!"

"You deserved that, mate."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Isn't this where I came in? Now, stop arguing and tell me more about Hermione and Snape."

"No way. You'll get us into trouble. If you want to know, you go and ask She Who Must Not Be Inflamed."

"Ron! That's no way to talk about Hermione."

"But it's true."

"Come on. Let's all be brave little Gryffindors and go and talk to our friend."

"You first."

"Boys. Great heroes of the war and afraid of one average-sized witch... Hey, Hermione. So? You look like Crookshanks when he's caught a rat. Spill!"

"Look. I've figured it out. It's him. The man I..."

"Snape, you mean?"

"How did you know? Oh, you've been talking with the blabbermouths. Thanks, boys. Last time I trust you with a secret."

"They only opened my eyes to what I'd already seen. Snape? Hey, just where was he while you were away? And where were you?"

"Okay, okay! I'll explain. We were sent away on an undercover mission..."

***

Severus

She should have figured it out by now. I saw her giving young Malfoy the sharp edge of her tongue as she entered the Great Hall. That'll teach him for messing with my woman.

Gods, she looks sexy in that dress. I could just lick my way down to her delectable breasts and ease the fabric aside until I found those exquisitely sensitive nipples...

Damn, these Muggle trousers don't hide anything.

Too late to worry about that. Seth Sneyd is here, and he's not ashamed of his desires.

She should have had the eleventh owl by now. That note should clinch it. Time to deliver the final rose.

***

"So, what did the last note say?"

"You're just too good to be true."

"What does that mean, apart from the obvious?"

"You'll see. Hopefully soon."

"Hermione, that is an awfully lascivious expression on your face. Don't tell me you and Snape have already..."

"Oh, yes. Definitely. Several times."

"He was that good?"

"Ginny! Stop it! We don't need to know."

"Oh, yes we do, boys. I want details! Aw... Now you've ruined it. I'm sure she was about to kiss and tell."

"Sorry, Gin. I'm not saying any more."

"Hey, who's that?"

"That, my friend, is Seth Sneyd."

"Seth Sneyd? As in, Snape-as-Seth Sneyd?"

"None other."

"Holy flobberworms! When did he get so hot?"

"Hey! First you tell me Malfoy is gorgeous, now Snape's hot? I'm wounded."

"Oh, give over, Harry. I can still look, you know. I notice you were checking out Hermione's cleavage before."

"Harry!"

"Oops, sorry. Couldn't help it. You do have fantastic..."

"Shhh. He's playing. Listen, Ginny. Isn't he brilliant?"

"Mmmm. I can hear it; I can see it – I just can't believe it."

"Look, he's coming over here. And he has another rose."

...

"What does the note say? Hermione? Hermione! The note?"

"Can't take my eyes off you."

"What?"

"It's a song. One we played at Grimmauld Place. The notes were the lyrics, but they were all mixed up, which is why I didn't remember where I'd seen them."

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off you

"I didn't know Snape could sing as well."

"Neither did I. Now, hush, he hasn't finished."

I love you, baby

And let me love you, baby
Let me love you...

"Gods, yes! Mmmmmphhh."

"Er... Harry? Is it right that Hermione is snogging the daylights out of Snape right here in front of everyone?"

"She's what? Oh, so she is. I was still getting my head around Snape singing. He doesn't seem to be minding it one bit, though."

"No. He doesn't."

***

"Mmmm. I take it that was a yes?"

"You didn't need to ask. You had me the moment you walked in that door. I can't believe you just sang in front of the entire school. Especially dressed like that. And stop smiling, Snape, you're scaring the young ones."

"I was desperate. I knew I couldn't compete with young Malfoy in youth, looks, or assets, so I had to use the few talents I did have. Although, if I hadn't seen you despatch him so brilliantly at the door, I might have left it at the roses and messages and hoped you'd figure it out."

"You idiot. I don't care about looks and money. It's you I want. You may be an old pervert, but I happen to think you're an incredibly sexy old pervert who belongs to me. And you played and sang for me even after you knew I wasn't with Malfoy."

"I know. I have no idea what came over me. If it ever happens again, lock me in the bedroom and throw away the key."

"Only if I get to be locked in with you. Besides, I loved it. I didn't know you could sing as well. Just another one of your many talents?"

"Come here, and I'll show you just how talented I am, Granger."

"Mmmmm. Indeed. Er, Snape, you do realise the whole school is watching?"

"Let them watch. Perhaps they'll learn something useful for once."

***

A/N: "Can't Take My Eyes Off You," written by Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio, was a 1967 single by Frankie Valli.

A huge thank you and hugs go to lady_karelia, who spotted the bloopers and herded the commas into submission.

Thanks also to the girls at work, who all participated in some way in this story, helping me brainstorm the plot over morning tea and even lending their names for characters: Catrina, Leigh, Denise, Julie, Cathy, Caryl, Carla, Fliss, Phil (okay, he's NOT a girl), and of course, Amelia! The girls will return in the epilogue when I write it.

Special thanks to Catrina for reading over the first draft and advising me on boarding school life in Scotland. The Muggle school is loosely modelled on Morrison's Academy in Crieff where both Catrina and Ewan McGregor were educated.