Chapter Thirteen: Spy Tactics

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Chapter Thirteen: Spy Tactics

Snape

I'm so pathetic. Sitting here drinking alone, just because I'm too fucking afraid to risk my heart again. She deserves so much better. Gods, I wish this bloody mission was over. With any luck I will be able to avoid her for the rest of the year and get on with being a miserable bastard again.

Cheers, Snape. Drink up.

Oh, who the hell is that? Can't a man get pleasantly sloshed in peace?

Go away.

If I pretend not to be here...

Fuck, it's Granger. Forgot to get that key off her. Hope she's happy now. Here I am, half-dressed and half-plastered.

Come to take advantage of me, witch?

I may just let you.

What on earth is she looking for in my bathroom?

***

Hermione

What in Merlin's name has he been doing? Just when I make a major breakthrough, he has to be sprawled on his couch, shirt undone, trousers off, and smelling like a distillery.

Damn you, Snape. How can you look so bloody enticing even like that? I must be crazy. Or have no taste.

He must have some Sober-Up potion in here.

Yes! Once a Potions master, always a Potions master!

Now, to get him to drink it.

***

"What are you doing fosshicking around in my bloody bathroom, woman?"

"Here, drink this."

"Sshober-Up? Why should I? I shpent a long time getting this pleasantly pisshed, so why shpoil it now? Don't you want to take advantage of me?"

"Oh, gods. He's a whiny drunk. Cute, but whiny."

"Will you shtop talking about me as if I'm not here, Granger. Ish not polite, you know. Come and sit on my lap and tell me all the wicked things you want to do to me."

"Tempting though that offer might be, by morning you'd be hung-over and horrified. Not a sight I'd like to contemplate before breakfast. Just drink the bloody potion; I have something important to tell you, and I need you sober. Now!"

"All right. All right. Don't shout. I'm drinking. Bloody bosshy witches."

"Thank you. Do you think you can string two sentences together now without making offers you'd regret later?"

"Yes. Thank you, Granger. Do you think you can stop staring at my crotch long enough to tell me why you felt the need to barge in here yet again? I could have been otherwise occupied."

"I wouldn't have been complaining. Maybe next time. Anyway, you need to get dressed. We're going down to the village."

"Why? Oh, for Merlin's sake, Granger, my face is up here... Now, tell me what is going on."

"Sorry. Can't help myself. Forbidden fruit and all. Although why it has to be forbidden is beyond me."

"Granger!"

"Oh, right. The girls went to the market this morning. Amelia came back with a pendant she had bought from a stall there."

"And this is a good reason to interrupt my afternoon's activities?"

"It is when the pendant has been crafted from the same magical clay we found, and the stall-owner is also selling special pendants that guarantee the recipient will fall in love with the giver."

"Fuck. Why didn't you say so sooner, girl?"

"You were hardly in a fit state..."

"Point taken. I assume you want to check out this stall-owner?"

"Yes. Apparently, he's only there once a month, so I thought we should go down there now and see what we can find out."

"What are we waiting for then?"

"Er... perhaps you should put some trousers on. Pleasant as the view is, I'm not prepared to share it with any other girl."

"Possessive wench, aren't you, Granger?"

"Get used to it, Snape."

***

"Where is this stall?"

"Over there, in the corner. Let's go... What?"

"We can't afford to just wander over there. If he's a rogue Death Eater, he might recognise you, and he'll definitely recognise me, even with the short hair. Just follow me."

"Professor Masterspy in action. I should feel privileged."

"Silence. Now, we'll lurk under this tree and watch for him to appear. I think he must be behind the stall at the moment. Fuck, he's looking straight at us. Come here! Mmmmph."

...

"Mmmmmmm. You kissed me."

"You noticed. Always knew you were quick. Now, next time I'll face away from him. Keep your bloody eyes open and see if you can get a look at him."

...

"I could get used to this spying technique. Can we do it again? I need another look."

"Granger. Don't play with me. What did he look like?"

"Spoilsport. He's youngish, around thirty, with a thin, blond, scarred face, as if he had acne in the past. Almost like an older version of Stan Shunpike. Sound familiar?"

"Edgely. He's related to Shunpike – a cousin I think. He joined late last year and never had a chance to participate in anything too serious before he was caught. Pleaded temporary insanity and had his wand snapped and a tracer put on him to prevent him using another."

"Couldn't Voldemort get around that?"

"He could have if he'd wanted to. But Edgely was of little use to him. He'd already been caught once and was too big a security risk."

"But how would he know the Coercion Charm?"

"Edgely was incompetent as a Death Eater, but he wasn't entirely stupid. He learned as much as he could while he was with them... us."

"Them, Severus. You were not one of them."

"Forget the positive affirmations, Granger, and concentrate on the job in hand. Now, kiss me again and tell me what he's doing now."

"I thought you'd never ask."

...

...

...

"Are you quite finished?"

"Mmmm. Nearly."

...

"Granger..."

"Hold that position for a minute, Snape. There's a girl approaching the stall. Bingo! It's Katrina, and she's handing him a package. What shall we do?"

"Avoid being seen for a start."

"You didn't think of that when you were snogging me under the tree for anyone to see. What would any teachers or students have thought if they'd seen us?"

"I'm a spy, Granger. There were none nearby."

"Smug bastard."

"Stop talking for once and follow me."

"Yes, boss."

"About time."

"About time, what?"

"About time you learned your place."

"Get fucked, Snape. And yes, that was an offer."

"Your language has deteriorated considerably since you've been spending time with Muggle teenagers, Granger."

"Spending time with you is more likely to be the problem, Professor. Hey, you could have warned me you were going to stop!"

"Shhh. She's taking a shortcut through the woods. We need to stop her and question her."

"How? It's suspicious enough being seen together without blithely going up and asking her whether she's been consorting with any Death Eaters recently."

"She's a witch. We don't need to worry about her finding us out. We do need to find out what is going on. I suspect by the look on her face, she's not doing this willingly. She might need help. Besides, you and I, Granger, are two accomplished wizards. I hardly think a fifteen year old who's been attending a Muggle school for nearly a year is a threat."

"You know, Snape. That's one of the nicest things you've ever said to me."

"Well, make the most of it; you won't get a repeat offering. Now, do you have your wand?"

"You need to ask?"

"Right. You catch up with her and engage her in conversation while I circle around between her and the school."

"Okay. Be careful."

"You too."

***

"Psst. What are they doing now, Cathy? I can't see."

"They seem to be following Katrina. And arguing. Wait... no, they've split up. Harmony's catching up with Katrina, and Seth is sneaking around behind them."

"I can't believe they spent so much time kissing under that tree. Anyone could have seen them."

"Didn't you notice, Lee? They were pretending to be snogging while Harmony checked out that stall-owner. Well, they actually did snog, but she was watching him the entire time. Looked like they didn't want him to see their faces."

"Look, girls. Harmony has stopped Katrina. Wonder what that stick is for? Seth has one, too."

"What sticks, Amelia? Oh, those ones. That's his lucky baton. Remember we asked him about it on his first day. Hey, look at that. She just pointed it at Katrina, and she fell over."

"And Seth is using his now. I've never seen a conducting baton do that before. How the hell did he do that? Katrina had a stick too, but he made it fly over there."

"This is definitely not normal. I thought they must have been working for the police, but this is weird."

"You're telling me. Cathy, what do you think?"

"I think Miss Harmony Grant has a great deal of explaining to do."

"They seem to be interrogating Katrina. Oh, look, she's crying. And Harmony is hugging her."

"Bloody hell. Do you see what I see?"

"What, Amelia?"

"That man from the stall. He's sneaking up on them. And he's picked up Katrina's stick. Those things look pretty dangerous. I'll bet he's up to no good. Girls, we need to take action. Our friend and our teacher are in trouble."

"What can we do?"

"Run. Run and yell. That'll distract the stall guy. Ready... GO!"

***

"So, you're telling us you were sent here to escape from the situation in Greece, but you were foolish enough to be seen using your wand, which you were supposed to have left at home. Furthermore, now you are being blackmailed by Edgely into performing dark magic on the clay so he can make money from gullible Muggles? What part of wrong do you not understand, Miss Wallace?"

"Oh, go easy on her, Snape. She's terrified of you. Why don't you just loom a bit less and let her explain."

"She's a foolish child, Granger. She ought to be terrified."

"Snape? Granger? Are you...?"

"Yes, Katrina. I'm Hermione Granger, and this bad-tempered git is Severus Snape."

"But you two are heroes. Why are you here at my school?"

"Because, young lady, your little escapades have come to the attention of the Ministry of Magic, and we were sent to investigate."

"I'm so sorry. I just missed using magic so much I came into the woods here and practised a few Transfiguration exercises. I didn't know he was watching. He said he'd turn me in to the Ministry, and they'd send me to A-Azkaban. I didn't know what to do. My parents would never have understood. He said it was just a simple charm to encourage people to think well of others."

"And it did not occur to you to question why he did not use the charm himself?"

"I wondered, but I was too afraid to ask."

"Well, I think you need to talk to Kingsley Shacklebolt, Miss Wallace. He will deal with you as necessary."

"He won't send me back, will he?"

"Don't worry, Katrina. Kingsley is very fair. His main concern will be bringing Edgely to justice. As long as you cooperate and tell him everything you know, I'm sure everything will be all right."

"I just love it here so much. Everyone is a lot friendlier than in Greece, and girls get more freedom."

"I think that's enough chatter, Granger. We need to get back to school to notify Shackle... What the fuck is that racket?"

"Bloody hell. It's the girls! And Edgely! Stupefy! Incarcerous!"

"Well done, Granger. Now, what do you propose we do with these three?"

"Er... explain?"

"I think we'd all better stay right here until Kingsley arrives. Can you watch this lot while I send a Patronus message?"

"I'm on it."

"Expecto Patronum!"

"Snape? What was that?"

"I have no idea."

"It used to be a doe, didn't it? It's not one now. Looked like a large cat!"

"I see your formidable powers of observation remain unchallenged. Now, stop your infernal giggling, witch, and do something about your friends."

"Like what?"

"I suggest you talk to them before they develop lockjaw from standing there gaping with their mouths wide open."

***

A/N: This was written for the Severus Big Bang Birthday Bash on LiveJournal. Thanks to karelia, who betaed. Hugs to the girls at work, who brainstormed with me over morning tea.