Chapter Eighteen: New Year's Eve

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Chapter Eighteen: New Year's Eve

Hermione

He's at it again. I'm surprised he gets any reading done at all, the amount of time he spends watching me. I think the badge is getting to him – he's becoming anxious whenever anyone mentions it. I suppose I'll have to keep it hidden at Hogwarts. Too many nosey students around, and sure as Hagrid has an unsavoury creature in his back room, some Ravenclaw will know the reference. I want to tease him, not get him in trouble.

I wonder what we are doing tonight. No doubt the boys will have something planned. Pity the girls are all at back at home, we could have invited them to a party.

Just keep watching, Snape. Tonight's the night.

***

"Three minutes to go! Where are Luna and Neville?"

"I saw them sitting in the kitchen a few minutes ago, Harry. Shall I go and fetch them?"

"Yes, we should all be together when the clock strikes midnight. Hermione, do you know where the professor is?"

"Lurking in the library, I should imagine. I'll find him."

...

"There you are. Come and join the party – it's almost midnight."

"I don't think your friends need me around, Granger."

"Harry asked me to find you especially. Not that I wouldn't have done so anyway."

"I don't doubt it."

"What's that? Oh, it's cheering from downstairs. It must be midnight already."

"Granger... no. It's not a good idea."

"Happy New Year, Severus. Don't turn away. It's midnight, and I insist on a New Year's kiss. Mmm. That's better. Mmmmm. Oh, Severus!"

"Shut up and kiss me again, woman."

...

...

...

"Hey, Hermione, did you find..."

"Er... Harry. I think she did."

"Oh, my. Have I had too much to drink, or are Hermione and Professor Snape snogging in there?"

"Ginny, you've only been drinking fruit punch."

"Oh."

"Exactly."

"Well, I think it's beautiful. Makes sense with her badge, and all."

"You know what the badge means, Luna?"

"Of course. Don't you?"

***

Snape

I'm a coward. A pervert and a coward. I have a beautiful, intelligent witch who loves and desires me, and I'm hiding in my bedroom, rampant with need and shaking with the effort to control myself.

I have to leave. Everyone has gone home from Hogwarts this year, but the house-elves will still be running the kitchens.

Tomorrow. First light.

Now, I just have to survive the night.

***

Hermione

Well, it's now or never. Almost had him in the library. Bloody man must have incredible willpower to leave like that. I couldn't have done it.

He's not going to run again.

Right. I'm showered, perfumed, and wearing only my skin under this robe. I defy you to turn me away this time, Snape!

***

"What are you doing in here?"

"Staking my claim, Snape."

"What claim?"

"My claim on your heart. My claim on your body. My claim on you."

"I can't... We shouldn't... Merlin's balls, you're naked!"

"So are you, conveniently."

"So beautiful. So soft."

"Touch me, Severus. Let me take your hand and show you. Yes... there... and there. Oh, heavens, yes, there!"

"I can't..."

"You can. I can. Oh, my, it's so hard and so eager. I want to touch it."

"Don't... Don't... Oh, gods, don't ever stop."

"Mmm. It feels so good to hold you in my hand at last. You like that? What if I did it with my tongue?"

"Merlin, stop, Granger, before it's too late!"

"Spoilsport. Just when I was enjoying it, too."

"Just give me a minute... Minerva's knickers. Minerva's knickers. Minerva's knickers. Minerva's..."

"Snape, I've finally got us both naked at the same time and actually touching each other, and you are rabbiting on about Professor McGonagall's knickers. Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Dammit, Granger. I thought you knew everything."

"Not everything. Only almost everything."

"You obviously don't know when a man is about to lose control. Imagining Minerva's knickers..."

"Oh. But I wouldn't mind."

"I would. For once, I'd like to come inside my witch."

...

"Mmmm. What was that for?"

"Calling me your witch. Now, kiss me again, or I'll find a better use for my lips."

...

"Mmmm. Do you think we could get on with it now, Snape? I think I might die from frustration if we don't."

"You and me both, Granger. Are you ready?"

"I've been ready for weeks. Now, Severus. Now!"

"Merlin, you feel so good... so tight... so perfect! I can't hold back!"

"Don't then. Faster. Fuck me, Severus! Yes... yes... yess!"

"Oh, fuck! Hermione, I love you!"

...

"Satisfied now, witch?"

"Mmm. Very. Was pretty good for the first time. You were amazing."

"Your first time? You were a v..."

"Virgin. Yes. I was never interested when I had offers, and during the last year or so, well, there hasn't been any opportunity."

"You do realise I'm going straight to hell for this?"

"Don't be daft, Snape. Nothing that heavenly can be a sin. Now lie back down and let me explore. I didn't get much of an opportunity before."

"Yes, well, I apologise for that. You did ambush me though."

"Don't apologise. It was fantastic. And I can feel something else down there I'm interested in."

"You don't need to... You'll be sore."

"Shh. I want to. And I'm not uncomfortable, just..."

"Horny?'

"Snape! I didn't think you'd know such an expression!"

"Granger, I've been horny for the last four months. I know all about it."

"Well, let's see if we can do something about it."

"Mmm, let's."

***

Snape

What have I done?

Nothing much, only deflowered a student, betrayed her trust, and potentially ruined both our reputations.

I have to get out of here. I can't think straight with her naked body wrapped around mine, and her hair tangled in my fingers. All I want is to wake her again and make her mine yet again.

Mine.

My woman.

***

Hermione

Well, that didn't go the way I expected. So much for flying through time and space. It was more like one of Neville's cauldron explosions, all heat and urgency and liquids.

Always thought all those poetic descriptions about sex were a load of bollocks. Give me hot and steamy any day. Gods, he was magnificent. And he fitted. And felt fucking incredible.

He said he loved me.

I knew it.

Why isn't he back from the bathroom yet?

***

My beloved Dearest

Severus Snape

***

"Have you seen Professor Snape this morning? He hasn't shown up for his usual coffee."

"Not me, Harry. Mind you, I only came downstairs ten minutes ago. Where's Hermione?"

"Dunno. I haven't seen her since last night in the library. You don't think...?"

"Hermione and Snape?"

"Well, they did seem to be enjoying their New Year's kiss last night. And who would kiss Snape anyway? They've both been acting kind of odd lately."

"Yeah. She bosses him around, and he doesn't object. What's that all about? It's almost like they are..."

"Flirting?"

"I think there was a lot more that went on at that Muggle school than they are telling us. Harry, we have a mission. We must investigate."

"But how?"

"Those friends of Hermione's. The Seth Sneyd Fan Club. I bet they'll know."

"You just want an excuse to meet the blonde one with the big..."

"Amelia. Her name is Amelia. I'd appreciate it if you showed a little respect to my next girlfriend."

"That's jumping the gun a bit, mate. You don't even know whether she has a boyfriend already."

"She can't have one; she was too busy drooling over Snape, for goodness sake. The girl must be desperate."

"Hmm. You may have a point there, Ron. How do you suggest we contact them?"

"Kingsley will know. Hermione said he was the one who swore them to secrecy."

"Brilliant. I'll Floo him now. We haven't much time before school starts back."

"Or Hermione comes downstairs..."

***

Hermione

Oh, Severus.

Why?

He never seemed to care what other people think about him before.

Why now?

No. It's not that. He's still afraid my feelings are transient. The man is so fragile under that hard shell. So much pain in his past. So much loss. No wonder he doesn't trust fate to deal him a fair hand.

How do I show him how much I care? How much I need him?

I wonder if I should talk to Professor McGonagall. But that would mean breaching Severus's privacy.

Maybe there's another way.

***

Snape

Peace.

Cold stone and empty halls.

Time to think without Hermione's presence filling my senses.

Oh, Merlin, how I wish I could fill her again.

And again and again.

How can I do it? How can I stay away?

I'm no longer cold and empty. Hermione has seen to that.

I need to talk to Minerva.

***

"What did he say, Harry? You didn't tell him about Hermione and Snape, did you? We don't want to get them into trouble. Hermione is scary enough alone without Snape being after our blood as well."

"I told him we wanted to thank the girls for being such good friends to Hermione. He was a bit reluctant, but eventually agreed when I promised to be very discreet about contacting them. There are some advantages to being The Boy Who Vanquished Voldemort, after all."

"You're my hero, mate. Now, act normally – I can hear Hermione coming downstairs."

"Good morning, boys."

"Mornin' 'Mione. Hey, what's up? You look like shite. Too much to drink last night?"

"No, Ron. I had very little to drink last night."

"But you were all over Snape at midnight. I thought..."

"I must have been drunk? Hardly! I knew exactly what I was doing, and so did he. The bastard!"

"Did you? Did he? Do we need to go and defend your honour?"

"Harry! This is not the seventeenth century, and you're not my father. If you need to defend anyone, I suggest you watch over that bloody professor of ours. If I catch him first, I might have to hex some sense into him."

"Er... Hermione. Exactly what did he do?"

"It's more what I did that's the problem."

"Okay. What did you do?"

"Ifellinlovewithhimandseducedhimandscaredhimaway."

"Hermione, we can't understand you if you talk into your hands. Look at me. Speak clearly."

"I fell in love with him and seduced him and scared him away. Happy?"

"You did WHAT?"

"You heard, Ron. Shut up and let her talk. Tell us what happened, love. I thought you hated him."

"I never hated him, Harry. That was the problem. The reason I was so angry with him over summer is because I'd really expected him to be different, more relaxed. When he continued to behave in the same horrid way as before, I just lost it."

"So, what changed?"

"He did. Well, he didn't really. I knew all his acting as the cool, charming Seth Sneyd was just that, acting, but when we were alone, he gradually started changing. It was like some of Seth's characteristics had rubbed off onto Snape. He was still sarcastic and impatient, but he was also witty and fun at times. The longer we were there, the more he opened up, and the more I liked him. We both realised we were physically very attracted to each other but tried to deny it as long as possible until... certain things happened... No, Ronald, I'm not going to explain more..."

"If you both feel the same way, what's the problem?"

"Oh, Harry, he admits he cares for me, and I know he wants me, he still has this bloody stick up his arse about having a relationship with a student. And when he found out I was a virgin before..."

"I thought you and Viktor Krum..."

"Not that it's any of your business, Ron, but no, we didn't. Anyway, when he found out he had taken my virginity, he panicked and then disappeared this morning, presumably back to Hogwarts. He left me this note."

...

"Eww. This is a bit soppy, especially for Snape. Are you sure he wrote it?"

"Of course I'm sure, you idiot! It's his writing. Surely you've seen enough comments scrawled on your essays to recognise it by now!"

"So... clearly, he really does love you. Why can't you wait until you graduate?"

"Harry, that's a whole year away. Would you want to avoid Ginny for a year just for some ill-founded matter of principle?"

"Well, no, but that's different. We're much closer in age."

"That's not the point. Besides, I suspect that's not the main problem. He knows damn well I'm not taking Defence this year, so he won't be my teacher. And Merlin knows he has little regard for other people's opinions, so the age difference should not be an issue."

"True, but if that's not it, why did he leave?"

"I believe he doesn't have enough faith in me, or his own appeal, to allow himself to risk getting hurt. He thinks I'll drop him like a stone, if I so much as get a hint of interest from someone my own age. I've told him I'm not interested in anyone else, but he is so stubborn!"

"I guess all you can do is go to Hogwarts as planned and wait to see if he will change his mind."

"I've figured that much out myself, Harry. Doesn't mean I have to like it. But I do have to get packed. I'll just grab some toast and coffee and go back upstairs. Don't forget you two have to pack as well."

"Typical. She has a crisis in her love life, and she still remembers to nag us about packing! We have two more days before we have to go back to Hogwarts!"

"Never mind about that. I'm going to Apparate to the Muggle school on Sunday afternoon and see if I can find Amelia. Kingsley said they should be back by then, as they start back at school on Monday."

"Why? Hermione told us all we needed to know."

"So. I'll just thank her as we told Kingsley then. You going to come?"

"Sure. Let's not worry about packing until tomorrow. Then, we'll figure out an excuse to disappear on Sunday that Miss Clever-Clogs won't see through."

"Sounds like a plan, mate. Look, it's cleared up outside. Quidditch?"

"Thought you'd never ask!"

***

A/N: Written for the Severus Big Bang Birthday Bash on LiveJournal. Many thanks to karelia for her beta advice.