Chapter Four: Though they be mad they shall be sane

Note: AU. Not DH-compliant.

Chapter Four: Though they be mad they shall be sane

September 1997

"Late again, Potter?" Snape said, almost crooning the words. "Off . . . gallivanting? The Headmistress may look the other way, but I do not." Severus turned his head slowly and gazed unblinking at the young wizard who had skidded to a stop behind his friend. "And Weasley. Of course." The Potions master looked around the room. "I do seem to see a classroom filled with diligent students. Or at least, ones who care enough to come to class . . . on time." He turned abruptly. "Miss Granger," he said. "Tell me. How long does it take to prepare the base for today's potion?"

Hermione hesitated, turning her head slightly in the direction of the two boys.

"I did not ask you to consult those nitwits, Miss Granger."

"Working efficiently," Hermione said softly, "it takes one hour and nineteen minutes, according to the textbook."

"And how long is this class?"

"One hour and forty minutes, sir."

"And how long have you and your classmates been working on the potion?"

"Ten minutes, approximately."

"Ten minutes, approximately," Severus parroted. "Why 'approximately,' Miss Granger?"

"Because you lectured for approximately ten minutes before we began, sir."

"Hmm, I see." He pivoted sharply on a heel, turning back toward the two boys. "Now, Potter, if you retain your Potions genius from last term, of which I have seen not a scintilla of evidence, do you believe that you and your . . . pasty friend could complete the assignment before the end of the class?"

Harry stuck out his chin and narrowed his eyes defiantly. "I could try. If I could just get on with it . . . sir."

"You could try. But first, you must decide: are you a student here, Mr Potter?" He raised an eyebrow and looked at Ron. "Mr Weasley? Or is this a . . . hobby of yours? If it is a hobby, leave. Now. If not, and you are, indeed, a Hogwarts student, the same as all of the others in this room, then you will spend the next month, both of you, every evening from now through Halloween, in detention. With me. Brewing this same potion. Until you can do so efficiently in one hour and nineteen minutes. Decide. Now."

The entire classroom had gone completely quiet as soon as Snape had asked Hermione how long it took to prepare that day's potion. Now, it seemed impossibly quieter, as though everyone were holding their breaths.

Suddenly, a look of resolution crossed Harry's face. "I can't decide for you, Ron...or you, Hermione," he said, turning to look at her, "but . . . I have made my decision." He cast one last glance at Hermione, ignored Snape, then turned and left the classroom. Ron barely hesitated before running out after him.

Hermione shifted, looked at the door, looked at her potion, then looked up at Professor Snape, an expression of consternation on her face.

"Back to work! All of you!" Snape barked. He took a few deliberate steps forward, raking his eyes across the classroom, and came to stand beside Hermione. In a low voice, still looking out over the classroom of now-diligent students, he said, "Potter was right about one thing, Miss Granger. He couldn't decide for you." He turned his head slightly, looking at her through a curtain of hair. "And neither can I," he said softly.

Snape walked to the back of the classroom and surveyed the students, showing no reaction when Hermione began to carefully slice her Shrivelfig into one centimetre sections, his mind turning to the conversation he had had with Minerva a few days before.

"The boy is in peril every time he leaves and then returns to the school. He is a dangerous fool. I have done all I can to misdirect the Dark Lord, but he is becoming impatient with me...as you are aware."

The last time he had returned from a meeting with his false master, he had barely been able to stand, let alone walk, after several extended bouts of the Cruciatus, and Severus had thought that, just for a moment, he had seen some compassion in the witch's eyes, some softening toward him, but then it was gone, and Minerva seemed as unyielding as ever and began to debrief him on his latest encounter with the Dark Lord.

"Each time I see him leave the castle," Severus continued, "I wonder whether the next time that he returns will be the occasion of his capture or death. For all that I have provided misinformation to the Dark Lord, he has other spies. You know as well as I that Hogsmeade, the Hogwarts gates, and even the Forbidden Forest, are under constant surveillance. And I do not know or recognise all of his agents." Severus shook his head and looked out the window at the sky darkening over the forest, trying to ignore the presence of the third person sitting in the shadowy corner of the room. "I am not as trusted as I once was, and he has always harboured doubts about my true loyalties, but ever since the Order helped Draco and Narcissa disappear following the Headmaster's death and I was unable to provide any information about their location, his trust in me has diminished further. Bella has proven very effective at undermining my position. I do not have the access to him that she does; my duties here at the school provide her the opportunity to sow further seeds of doubt in his mind, and I have little opportunity to counteract that doubt."

"And what do you see as the consequences of this? What avenues are open to us?" Minerva asked.

"At some point, fairly soon, I believe, the Dark Lord will have discovered the various methods that Potter is using to reenter the school grounds, if he has not already, and he will not waste time in laying his traps. Potter, in the current circumstances, would have little chance of escape or survival from such a trap, and I have no doubt that his friends who accompany him on these expeditions of his would likewise suffer," Snape said, sneering. "Even if, in some fatalistic saviour complex, he is willing to chance his own safety, he should consider that his three friends do not share whatever protective nimbus he believes destiny has placed about him. You must convince him to leave the school and not return."

Minerva appeared troubled. "I have tried to tell him that it is best that he wait until he has left Hogwarts to do whatever it is he is trying to do on these outings of his, hinting as broadly as possible that he can leave school immediately, if he wishes. I cannot very well tell him that he should leave school now; if I were to do that, I cannot say that he would do as I recommend. Harry has a peculiar interpretation of some of what the Headmaster imparted to him during those last weeks, and he has developed some notion that it is important that he maintain a tie to Hogwarts in order to demonstrate his loyalty to him...there seems to be some other reason for it, as well, but whatever that reason may be, he will not discuss it with me."

She shook her head, poured herself some tea, and then continued. "Harry could also very well believe that I was trying reverse psychology in order to persuade him to abandon his quest until after his NEWTs. I was surprised that he returned to Hogwarts at all, to be quite frank, but he insisted to me that there was something of importance he had yet to accomplish at Hogwarts. I rather doubt, however, that he has even attempted whatever that may be, but he will not tell me any more about it. Our conversations have been most unproductive. I have indicated that the Headmaster entrusted me with certain secrets regarding his mission, but even after I had named the key element of his primary search, he would not speak with me about it. He will not tell me what he is doing or where he is going; when I offer the assistance of the Order, he insists he must continue on his own...in which he is correct; in the end, he must go on alone...but he is taking this belief to an extreme. In our conversations last winter, the Headmaster and I discussed the necessity of creating some delays in order that the final encounter not come before Harry is fully prepared; however, it appears that our tactics have become somewhat too successful, yet it is now too late to change them. And if we were to tell Harry what we have done in order to . . . pace his progress toward that crucial moment, he would not believe either of us, of that I am completely certain. The only person he may have believed about it was the Headmaster, and he is . . . unavailable." Minerva grimaced as she pronounced the peculiar euphemism. "Harry may have resented the manipulation, but he would have believed him. He will not believe me. And he certainly would not trust your participation in the plan."

Severus snorted. "His trust in me, ironically, is lower than it was when the Headmaster was here." As much as he disliked using euphemisms for the word "dead," Severus disliked even more causing Minerva pain, and as she never referred to Dumbledore as dead, he would avoid reminding her of what she no doubt felt keenly her every waking moment. "I think that even the suggestion that I was involved in creating a set of roadblocks for him to overcome would raise his suspicions of you. But I do not understand why he has isolated himself from you and from the Order."

"Despite the Headmaster's reassurances to Harry last winter in their final meetings together, I believe that Harry blames the Order for what happened to him and, by extension, blames me as well," Minerva replied. "He also seems to have interpreted the Headmaster's activities as being something separate and apart from the Order's work, and as a result, he has separated himself from the Order, believing its role to be something so wholly different from his own that involvement with the Order would hinder his progress. This means, as you can deduce for yourself, that we are unable, except through very indirect means, to help him either to overcome the roadblocks we ourselves set in his path or to dismiss them as irrelevant, let alone help him to achieve what he truly must before the last encounter with Vo – You-Know-Who." Minerva sighed. "In addition, I have reason to believe that the little group Harry does have around him is becoming divided. That could be as detrimental to Harry as deciding to leave them all behind and proceed entirely alone."

This news alarmed Severus, though his expression did not change. "I have seen no sign of this. How do you know?"

Minerva allowed herself a small, brief smile. "It is difficult for me to . . . to completely relax these days, as you may imagine, let alone sleep. For that reason and others, I have taken to napping in my Animagus form for a short while most afternoons. I long ago found that I could learn some of the most intriguing things while in my tabby form. Lately, I nap in a particular tree at the edge of the forest when I am able." A genuine grin flitted across her face. "Last week, Misters Donahue, Cauldwell, and Whitby were most confused to discover that they had lost House points and received detentions for activities that they had theretofore believed were undiscovered."

Minerva grew more serious. "But I also overheard a conversation among Harry, Ron, and Hermione a few days before their last outing, and when Luna Lovegood joined them, the argument grew more heated, not less. I had hoped that we could subtly provide Miss Granger with information that would speed Harry's progress, but the kind of information I had planned to provide her would not have been well-received by Harry and the others. Harry has become quite a leader over the last few years, but that is not always to the best, I am afraid. His judgment, while not as bad as you make it out to be, is still that of a very young man...but the kinds of errors he is making are the sort we all make all of the time, regardless of our age, I am afraid. He has become convinced of certain facts, and all that he sees reinforces his convictions. Anything that contradicts his strongly held beliefs, he explains away. Hermione seems to have the greatest ability of the four to actually look at all of the facts before them, sift them, weigh them, and make determinations about their relative veracity or utility. We had hoped to be able to make use of this ability, but something has changed in their dynamic. Although we knew that Miss Lovegood might be a factor to consider, neither the Headmaster nor I realised the extent to which she would become involved in their plans. She has become a wildcard, but I fear that trying to interfere with the group and with her involvement would have worse consequences than allowing events to play themselves out. Albus always assures me..." Minerva stopped, catching herself, then swallowed before continuing, "He always assured me that events will unfold so that Harry will have his final encounter with Riddle and be in a position to overcome him. And yet . . . it is so important that he achieve certain other goals before that time comes. We thought we were helping him do that . . . now I am not so sure."

"The fact remains that Potter must not continue to come and go as he has," Severus answered. "He is at his most vulnerable each time he leaves and each time he returns. Here he is safest, but I believe we are agreed that it would serve no purpose for him to remain here in what is, at best, temporary shelter, while growing no closer to achieving what he must prior to his encounter with the Dark Lord. I have little faith in his skills at this point, and I do not see how he could possibly defeat the Dark Lord, but I do not believe that further training would be sufficiently effective in what little time we have left, and any training would be moot if he did not first accomplish his other goals."

Severus had forgotten the presence of the third party, sitting there silently in the corner of the gloomy sitting room, like a bizarre chaperone, and he startled to suddenly hear his voice.

"While I agree with you regarding the mootness of further training if Mr Potter is first unable to finish the other tasks laid before him, I disagree with your estimation of his ability," the voice said softly from the shadows.

Severus turned his head slightly toward the dark figure. "Do you?" he asked evenly. "And your experience is so vast as to make you a better judge of his competence?" It was difficult to keep his resentment from his voice.

This wizard, this . . . this interloper was now the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Severus had protested his appointment strenuously. The man had been an apothecary in Amsterdam, for Merlin's sake, not an Auror. He may have fought against Grindelwald, but that had been decades before. When the previous June, Minerva had announced to the staff that Alroy MacAirt was going to teach Transfiguration beginning in September and step into the position of Gryffindor Head of House, Severus had anticipated continuing to teach Defence. He was not unaware of the curse on the position, but he had made it through an entire year of teaching, and he had presumed that he would continue in the fall. However, it appeared that Slughorn wanted to return to retirement now that Dumbledore was no longer Headmaster, and Minerva had asked that Severus step back into his old job in Potions. It was bad enough he would have to teach in the same school with this unsettling wizard, but now the man was taking the Defence position...a job for which Severus was convinced the older wizard was entirely unsuited.

Severus had argued to Minerva that it made far more sense to have him continue as Defence teacher, and for this wizard who had been teaching Transfiguration since Dumbledore's death to become the Potions instructor, since Crouch had been a successful apothecary in Amsterdam, but Severus's arguments fell on deaf ears. Minerva would sit, appear to listen to him, but then offer no answer whatsoever except that Severus was free to leave Hogwarts if he preferred. Minerva knew very well that Severus would not now shirk his duty. Even had he not promised Dumbledore that he would stay on at Hogwarts and support Minerva, he would have done so, and continuing his work for the Order was the only thing that made his continued survival meaningful to him and that gave any meaning at all to Dumbledore's sacrifice on his behalf.