Chapter Thirty-Two: Guerdon unsought

Chapter Thirty-Two: Guerdon unsought

6 June 1998

Severus glanced over at Hermione. She looked lovely, dressed in a simple gown of deep black with bias insets of pearly grey. It seemed they would have little opportunity to speak. She was sitting between Potter and Weasley at a round table in front of the head table. He was sitting with other Hogwarts staff at a table adjacent to the one where Minerva and Albus were sitting on the dais with the Minister and other notables.

Severus thought he should feel more disturbed that Dumbledore was with Minerva at the head table, although he, her Deputy, was sitting at another table with the Hogwarts matron on one side of him and Pomona Sprout on the other. He had nothing against the Hufflepuff Head of House, and when they discussed Herbology, Sprout was more than tolerable, but he never would have sought her company for any other reason. Severus presumed that Poppy had been seated beside him in the event that he had a sudden fit of swooning, but despite that, he didn't mind her company. Filius was on the other side of Pomona and MacAirt was next to Poppy. Decidedly better company than Potter and his friends, Severus told himself, though he would have liked to have been nearer Hermione.

At each place was a booklet, and as the awards were announced, the names of the recipients and the reasons for their awards would appear in it. Severus was somewhat alarmed by the number of blank pages. Fortunately, when the new chief of the Wizengamot, Tiberius Ogden, stood and asked their patience waiting for the dinner to begin, he also explained that the second- and third-class awards would be announced and delivered in groups, rather than being individually presented, and he hoped that everyone understood that this was a testament to the great bravery and honour displayed by so many, and no slight to any individual.

There had been another awards dinner the previous evening for those who received Merlins for their general service during the final days leading up to Riddle's defeat or recognising their participation in the Battle of the Ministry. Severus had received an invitation to that dinner, as well, but delivered by conventional owl rather than by the Headmistress, and he had declined to attend. Two such evenings in a row would be unbearable, and he could only imagine the strutting and preening of some of the recipients. When he felt a slight twinge at the unwanted thought that he should be more respectful of those who had contributed to the Dark Lord's...Riddle's...downfall, he reminded himself that he was still under Healer's care and that he really wasn't well enough yet to go out two nights in a row.

Severus turned to Poppy, who was chatting with Alroy about his father's greatly improved health.

"He's here tonight," Alroy said, gesturing toward a large round table on the other side of the room.

Poppy laughed. "That looks like a McGonagall family reunion."

Alroy grinned. "I would have preferred to sit with them...no offense to your company, Poppy...but the 'powers that be' seemed to want to keep the Hogwarts staff together."

"No, I understand," Poppy replied.

Severus looked across the room at the "McGonagall family reunion," as Poppy had called it. He didn't know why Quin would be seated with them, but Severus could see his profile and the bright golden red hair of the woman whom Severus took to be his daughter, Aine. The grey-haired witch on his other side was probably Professor Gamp, though he couldn't see her face. Gamp's other son, Robert Crouch, his wife, daughter, and her family were seated at another round table nearby, and the sight of Crouch gave Severus a peculiar sense of dislocation. He turned his attention back to the McGonagall table.

He recognised Gareth, Melina, and Healer Egidius. Murdoch was there, as well, with a tall, heavy-boned witch...one might call her stately, though she seemed more athletic and robust than elegant...whom Severus assumed was Murdoch's wife, Estelle. Beside her, an elderly witch seemed even more petite for being seated next to the taller woman. There was a young boy sitting between the elderly, sharp-looking witch and a somewhat younger, tall wizard with silvering blond hair. A fringe of black hair fell over the boy's eyes, and his pale face wore a solemn expression until the long-haired wizard beside him leaned over and, with a poorly suppressed grin, whispered something into his ear. The skinny boy's face immediately lit up and a broad smile softened his angular features. The old witch raised an eyebrow at the tall wizard, but the boy turned to her, pulled her closer, and, cupping his hand by her ear, whispered something that brought a slight smile to her face.

The other witch and wizard at the table had their backs fully to him, but Severus believed they were closer to his age and likely Melina's children. He wondered who the young boy was. There was something familiar about him, but he wasn't old enough to be a Hogwarts student. Severus shrugged to himself. All children begin to blend together after a while. He probably just resembled a hundred other runty boys whom Severus had seen pass through Hogwarts.

He remembered what he had been going to ask Poppy. "Were you invited last night, as well?"

Poppy nodded. "I didn't attend, however. I had another obligation. Filius and Pomona went as Hogwarts representatives. I think Albus was here, too. He'd planned to attend, though I know he had some argument with them about the seating."

"Seating?" Severus asked.

"They wanted to put him at the head table, and he didn't think that was appropriate since he has no official role in the Ministry or at Hogwarts, other than as a teacher." Poppy replied. "It's different tonight, of course, since he's here accompanying Minerva, who is seated at the head table on her own account."

"Did they have him doing anything official?" Alroy asked.

"He presented the posthumous awards," Pomona said, overhearing the conversation from her place on the other side of Severus. "It was quite affecting. They presented Scrimgeour's Merlin last night, even though he died at Hogwarts, because he participated in the Ministry battle, and when he was at Hogwarts, he was acting in his capacity as Minister. His wife accepted for him. She's here again tonight, too." Pomona nodded, gesturing with her chin toward where Madam Scrimgeour sat.

"She doesn't look well," Poppy remarked.

"Many of us don't look as well as we might," Filius chimed in. "How are you feeling, Severus?"

Severus frowned. "I am fine." He recalled the little wizard's visit the week before, and the books he had brought with him as a get-well gift. Severus tried to relax. "I am recuperating well, thank you."

"Rolanda looks better," Alroy observed, "but I am still surprised to see her here."

Severus looked at the other rectangular table at which other Hogwarts staff sat facing them. Madam Hooch didn't look well. An obvious Glamour hid the right side of her face, her right arm was clearly immobile, and the normally lively witch seemed to be using all of her energy to remain upright in her chair. He suddenly regretted never visiting her or any others at St. Mungo's. Not that he had been up to that level of activity until recently, but he knew that Hooch had only left hospital the previous afternoon. She had sent him a card, dictated to an Autoquill, but still . . . she had been more injured than he and had managed that.

No one expected anything from him, he reminded himself, and certainly they wouldn't expect any gestures of insincere sympathy or condolence. He swallowed. It wouldn't have to have been insincere. But he didn't know what to expect of himself now, let alone what he should do.

Trying to avoid thinking about the impossibility of his new life, Severus looked back over at Poppy. She had chosen to wear a pale bluish grey robe with an under-robe of a slightly darker shade. His own attire was more typical of the other attendees, though his choice had been dictated by his wardrobe rather than any etiquette of mourning.

"If I had known they were going to be so late to start, I would have gone over and talked to Rosemary and my dad," Alroy said with a sigh.

Severus knew that Alroy's sister's name was Aine. "Who is Rosemary?" he asked Poppy in a low voice.

"She's there next to Aine, the one with the fancy hairdo," Poppy said, pointing out the one feature of the witch that Severus could see. "She was a Ravenclaw just a couple years behind you, but you probably wouldn't recognise her after all these years."

"And the others?" Severus asked, thinking that he wouldn't have recognised her regardless of the amount of time that had passed.

"Her brother Calum is next to her. You know Gertrude, Gareth, and Melina. Brennan is the old gentleman between Melina and Calum..."

"But he's a Muggle," Severus interrupted, puzzled.

"He had a charm placed on him, a binding of some sort, years ago, so that he can interact with the wizarding world freely, rather like a Squib. He hasn't dared go to McTavish Street in the last few years, though, with the attitudes of certain people towards Muggles and parents of Muggle-borns and half-bloods," Poppy explained. "He's a chemist, had his own shop till he sold it to Boots and retired, so he used to enjoy visiting Murdoch at the apothecary."

"I see," Severus replied, though he didn't entirely. He knew that the parents of Muggle-borns would accompany their children to Diagon Alley, but he hadn't heard of Muggles moving freely in the wizarding world other than that. Of course, there were always those Muggles who had to be treated at St. Mungo's for some reason. His gaze fell on Egeria, now seated between Estelle and the older witch. "Who is the witch next to Healer Egidius?"

Poppy gave a crooked smile. "Siofre Tyree, Egeria's mother-in-law. She's a firecracker. She's also the reason Pettigrew's not dead. When it became obvious that his silver hand was infecting his body, in an attempt to stop it, Siofre poured a near-overdose of Dreamless Sleep down his throat, then cast a Petrificus on him. Not exactly a recommended treatment, but it slowed the progress of the silver until Riddle was dead and it stopped on its own. The silver nevertheless did a lot of damage, and the Healers are still doubtful they'll be able to cure him."

Severus was puzzled. "Why was she with Pettigrew?"

"Albus had to drop his captured Death Eaters somewhere, and he couldn't very well bring them to the Ministry or any other public place, since he was still believed to be dead. So he showed up on their doorstep, startling the entire household with his appearance, but Siofre took it in stride. She had the Tyree house-elves empty out the wine cellar, and she kept the Death Eaters there." Poppy took a sip of water. "I understand that Hyatt Crabbe tried to cause some trouble when he regained consciousness, but he's still in the secure ward at St. Mungo's, recovering from Siofre's . . . discipline."

"That witch?" Severus asked in disbelief. Crabbe, even without a wand, was a dangerous man.

"She's tough," Poppy said, "always has been. And she wasn't alone, of course."

"Who are the others?"

"The boy is her great-great-nephew, Eoghan Tyree. Or great-great-great." Poppy frowned. "I think he was her brother Murdoch Tyree's great-grandson, but it might be one more generation removed. Siofre and her husband were close to his parents; when they were killed, Eoghan moved in with them and Lydia, Siofre's sister-in-law. When Lydia died a few months later, Siofre and her husband adopted him. He'll be starting at Hogwarts in another year." She looked up at Severus for a moment, as if deciding what she should say next. "It's a funny thing, you know, Severus, but..."

Severus never learned what was funny, nor the identity of the other older wizard at the table, since at that moment, Minister Shacklebolt entered the room and everyone went quiet as he stepped up to open the awards ceremony.

Severus attempted to pay respectful attention as the third-class Merlins were awarded. Shacklebolt and Minerva took it in turns to read the names of those receiving the awards, and their names appeared in the booklet, with a description of some of their activities in support of the Hogwarts defence or their role in the Order of the Phoenix. Poppy stood as her name was announced. After a few more recipients' names were read, her Order of Merlin, third-class, appeared in front of her. Severus thought that food would be more welcome at that moment, but then he was distracted as he heard his name read by Shacklebolt. Pomona nudged him in the ribs, and he stood.

He tried not to think as he stood and waited for the medal to appear in front of him, but a part of him felt ashamed that he should be receiving one at all. A greater part of him, though, felt as though he'd been kicked in the stomach. Order of Merlin, third-class. If he was going to be awarded one, shouldn't it have been a first-class Merlin? Did they value him so little? But it was probably because he hadn't been in the battle itself. It seemed that none of those who received the third-class awards had been directly involved in the battle. Colin Creevey had received one for taking photographs. Photographs. Severus tried to betray no emotion as he sat down and looked at the medal in its open box.

There was a break between the third-class awards and the second, and small baskets of crusty bread appeared on the table with little crocks of tapenade and plates of butter. Next to him, Poppy began to spread tapenade on a piece of bread. He closed the box with a snap and put it beside his plate, then he picked up the booklet. His name seemed to jump out at him. Beneath it, he read, "Invaluable service providing information that saved many lives and provided cures for others." It was one of the briefest descriptions in the booklet. Severus closed it and swallowed. Hermione was still there, and Blaise and his Slytherins, too, and they would still receive their awards, otherwise he would beg off, plead fatigue, go home.

"Here, eat some of this," Poppy said, placing a couple small pieces of bread on his plate. She had spread tapenade on one and butter on the other.

Severus looked at it and didn't respond. Poppy didn't say anything more to him, just chatting with Alroy as she ate her own appetiser. He watched the other guests, trying not to stare at the table where Hermione sat with several other students. She saw him looking in her direction once, and flashed him a broad smile. He nodded at her, then looked away, focussing on a group of Aurors and Hogsmeade residents. Aberforth was there, sitting between a reedy-looking pale witch in Auror's robes and a stout old witch with blue hair and a hat to match. Severus thought he may have found one other wizard in the room who might be as uncomfortable as he was.

It seemed no time at all passed, and the second-class Merlins were presented. Severus clapped politely at all the right points. Melina and Murdoch, he noticed, each received a second-class award, as did a few others at that table, though he did not look at the booklet to see why.

Before the first-class Merlins were awarded, the attendees were fed soup. Severus did eat some of his soup after being prodded by the witches on either side of him. Pomona was irritating him with her clucking, mothering noises, and he ate just to shut her up.

"I wish they'd fed us first and then given the awards," Alroy said, grumbling slightly.

"If they do it the way they did last night, they'll serve the entree next and then announce the first-class Merlins afterward," Pomona said. "They present those in groups, though they hand them out individually, and last night, there were a few speeches, too."

Severus didn't allow his expression to change at that news. He had hoped that the first-class awards would be announced quickly, then he could leave without having to sit through the rest of the meal.

He thought he had masked his feelings, but apparently not well enough, because Poppy leaned toward him and said softly, "I'm sure it won't be too bad, Severus."

Severus simply glanced over at her out of the corner of his eye, then turned his attention back to his soup. The entrees arrived, and Pomona tried to engage him in conversation. He, in turn, attempted to be polite, but found it wearying to speak. He wished that someone like Vector was sitting next to him instead. She always seemed to know when he didn't want to talk during a meal...which was almost always...though when he did, she was given to sensible conversation and not inane pitter-patter. But Vector was sitting next to Slughorn at the other staff table. Severus didn't know why Slughorn was seated with the rest of the Hogwarts staff, since until the previous year, he hadn't taught at Hogwarts in well over a decade. He had stayed at the castle after the battle, though, leaving only earlier that week, when most of the students were gone and Severus was more ambulatory. The odious man had stopped and seen Severus before he left, proudly displaying a ring he wore on his right-hand ring finger. Two intertwined snakes, one winding to the right and one to the left, one gold, one silver, each with one tiny emerald eye.

"Snape's Slytherin, you see!" Slughorn had said with some enthusiasm. "Zabini got them made for all of us. He even gave them to the young ones who stayed behind in the Hospital Wing. Theirs are silver, though, don't you know. To distinguish the combatants. They'll be heirlooms, Severus, passed down generation to generation, and any Snape's Slytherin can always count on another to recognise him...or her! Many fine witches, too. Yes, indeed! A proud House we have, Severus." He suddenly looked awkward. "I was ashamed for years . . . my own role . . . Well, that's the past, eh, my boy?" he exclaimed more heartily. "Riddle's gone. We have a new generation of Slytherins. Young Blaise will lead us into a nobler future, mark my words, Severus. He will go far!"

Slughorn had clapped him on the shoulder and left him with a bottle of a Pinot Noir that he described as "particularly fine." Severus had put it in his cupboard next to his unopened bottle of firewhisky.

The entrees were cleared away and coffee and tea served. Tiberius Ogden stood and announced that the Orders of Merlin, first-class, were being bestowed upon those who had given most, risked most, and achieved most. He went on to describe the dangers that had been faced by many, but especially those who had engaged in the Battle of Hogwarts, and that most of the first-class awards that evening would acknowledge those brave souls who had participated on the battlefield in Hogwarts defence.

He began by slowly naming those who had been killed in defence of Hogwarts, and one by one, next of kin or other representatives rose to accept the awards on behalf of those whose lives had been sacrificed by the attacking Death Eaters. Beside him, Minerva, as Headmistress, presented the closed box to each person, and Severus could see from the tight line of her jaw that she was doing all she could to maintain her composure.

Pomona rose to accept an award on behalf of one of her students whose family had been killed in a Death Eater raid only the week before the attack on Hogwarts. His chest tight and his throat burning, Severus could barely attend to the ceremony as the names of other students were read. He had done all he could to warn of the attacks in wizarding Britain. He had lowered the wards on the school in order to trap Riddle and his army, not in order to bring children to slaughter. There would have been far more death and destruction if he had not. Severus felt nonetheless acutely uncomfortable, and his discomfort was not eased when Arthur and Bill rose and accepted the medals for Molly and Percy. Perhaps he did not deserve a Merlin, first-class, after all.

Thankfully, the posthumous awards came to a relatively quick conclusion, and Minerva took a moment to sip some water as Ogden began to describe the Battle of Hogwarts, using only broad brushstrokes but still managing to convey the fury and violence of the confrontation. He paused a moment as if considering his words.

"The attacking Death Eaters would have killed and injured far more if it were not for the leadership of one person, a witch whose foresight and strategic planning brought the defenders rapid success. Though it no doubt felt much longer to those who were fighting and who were falling, the attackers were overwhelmed in number and in tactics, and from the spell cast by Arthur Weasley shortly after sunrise to the moment the final Death Eater ceased resisting, the primary battle lasted less than an hour. Her leadership and her bravery were instrumental not only in the success of the battle, but also in Tom Riddle's ultimate defeat. For the great debt of gratitude that the wizarding world has, I am proud to present this Order of Merlin, first-class, to Headmistress Minerva McGonagall."

Severus needed no prodding to stand when everyone in the hall who was able stood and clapped. Ogden placed the Order of Merlin around Minerva's neck, the heavy medal resting on her chest, then he leaned toward her, kissed her cheek, and whispered something in her ear. That was all it took for her self-control to waver, and her tears spilled over. Albus, standing now beside her, handed her a surprisingly staid white handkerchief, and she wiped her eyes.

The rest of the awards went fairly predictably, beginning with Aurors, then the Hogsmeade residents who had defended the gates and a few others, such as the old Tyree witch who had guarded the Death Eaters and so severely incapacitated Crabbe when he attempted to escape. Severus noticed that some names added themselves to the blank pages without having been read off, then he saw that each had the note beside them, "Presented 5 June 1998." Kingsley's name appeared in that way, as did those of most of the Aurors. Severus was thankful for that. He could leave as soon as the last name was read. Go home...return to Hogwarts...and put his third-class medal in the drawer with his watch. Dumbledore's watch.

Minerva presented the medals to the faculty and staff who had been selected to receive one of the first-class Merlins. From their table, Flitwick and MacAirt stood and walked up to accept their Merlins. Severus wondered vaguely why Sprout hadn't been named at the same time, but didn't consider it long.

There was a pause after Shacklebolt read Argus Filch's name, and Hagrid wheeled the old caretaker up to the front of the hall to receive his award. Severus was surprised to see that the old man was crying as Minerva placed his medal around his neck. Filch had, foolishly or bravely, tried to stop Goyle from escaping the dungeons after the Slytherin had killed Sinistra, then he had lain on the cold, hard stone for more than six hours before anyone noticed that he wasn't where he was supposed to be and went to look for him. Severus looked down at the booklet, which simply said that Filch had "exhibited heroism and fortitude beyond the call of duty in trying to protect the students of Hogwarts." A small note beneath that indicated that Filch was the first Squib ever to be awarded an Order of Merlin.

The surprises didn't end with Filch's award. Shacklebolt, who had taken over from Ogden after the Headmistress had received her award, announced that although the centaurs who had participated in Hogwarts defence had declined their awards, their names and collective contribution would be noted and never forgotten. With that, the centaurs' names appeared in the booklet, with a description of their role in the battle.

Neville Longbottom was singled out to receive the first award to a student. Shacklebolt gave a brief description of Dumbledore's Army and Longbottom's role in reforming it to train the students in "self-defence." Neville said something softly to the Headmistress as she handed him his award. She smiled and nodded, then made a gesture to Kingsley. Neville stepped up to the podium and pointed his wand at his throat to amplify his voice, which wavered just a bit for his first few words, but then gathered strength.

"I thank Minister Shacklebolt and the Headmistress . . . and everyone for this honour. There are a lot of other people I could thank tonight, people who have helped and supported Dumbledore's Army, but I want to thank one wizard in particular." Neville stopped and cleared his throat. "I know that this wizard wanted to remain anonymous at the time he helped me, but things have changed a lot. Without this wizard, there wouldn't have been a Dumbledore's Army."

Severus sighed. He had wondered how long it would take before people began to sing the praises of the great Albus Dumbledore. He deserved it, Severus had no doubt about that, but he hated thinking about the Headmaster because then he began to feel all those confused emotions that he so wished would simply go away. He took a sip of water and tried to maintain an air of slight boredom.

"I learned a lot from this wizard," Neville continued, "even when I didn't know I was learning it. The most important lesson he taught me, though, was maybe the simplest: Don't be a victim, Longbottom."

Severus swallowed the wrong way and would have choked on his water if Poppy hadn't cast a quick Anapnea and saved him from embarrassment.

"He also told me essentially that if I ever told anyone about it, he'd deny it. I hope he doesn't." Neville smiled shyly as he looked over at Severus. "I would like to thank Professor Severus Snape for the lesson and advice he gave me that day, leading me to revive Dumbledore's Army. He saved many lives by doing it, and I know that he didn't do it for any obvious gain to himself and certainly not out of any affection for me." His grin grew a bit bigger. "I'm sure he celebrated the last day that I'd ever be able to melt a cauldron in his Potions class. Anyway, thanks, Professor Snape."

Neville glanced back at Minerva, who was smiling warmly and began to clap. Severus could feel the heat rise in his face as the others in the hall followed suit. This time, Poppy nudged him, and he stood briefly and gave what he knew was an awkward bow. He really should kill Longbottom. Or his toad.

But then the applause subsided and Kingsley began to read out more names. Longbottom placed the medals around the necks of the students who filed past him as Shacklebolt read them off in groups of four. Severus clapped politely as group after group of students filed up to accept their awards. His lower right eyelid began to develop a tick when group after group of students consisted of Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Gryffindors. Dumbledore's Army. But there were still others left who were not Slytherins...Potter and his sidekicks. It made sense that Longbottom would give them out to members of the DA. Minerva had said that Zabini and Hermione were receiving Merlins, and they surely deserved them. He might not receive a Merlin, first-class, Severus thought, but they would not neglect the Slytherins who fought in the battle.

The parade of Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Gryffindors came to a conclusion, and Neville stepped down and returned to his seat between Luna and Daphne. Minerva now stood at the podium and Kingsley stood to one side.

"The next Order of Merlin, first-class," Minerva announced, "we are very pleased to present to a young man whose leadership and courage were vital not only in defeating Riddle in battle, but in defeating narrow-mindedness and prejudice. Slytherin House has produced many admirable witches and wizards over the centuries, ones who have made positive contributions to wizarding society. But both within Slytherin and outside of it, the notion of what makes a good Slytherin, a 'real' Slytherin, has grown increasingly narrow, particularly in the last few decades. There have been those outside of Slytherin who believed that 'Slytherin' was synonymous with 'evil,' or at least, with greed and a self-centred disregard for anyone else. Blaise Zabini, a seventh-year Slytherin prefect, displayed that ambition, achievement, and cunning are not antithetical to bravery, loyalty, and independent thinking.

"He and Daphne Greengrass, another seventh-year Slytherin, quietly gathered around them other like-minded Slytherins, ones who did not believe that being a Slytherin meant unswerving allegiance to a Dark Wizard, the Dark Arts, or dubious and distorted medieval notions of wizarding purity. He led students from his House in the battle against Riddle, and he and his fellow Slytherins stood with Harry Potter when he defeated the self-styled lord; the Slytherin contingent prevented any Death Eaters from reaching and assisting their master. Many of them were wounded or cursed severely, but they did not retreat and none betrayed us. The wizarding world owes its gratitude to Blaise Zabini and the Slytherins who followed him. I ask now that Mr Zabini come forward and receive his Order of Merlin, first-class."

As Blaise stood and walked up to accept his medal, the applause grew. He bowed his head as Kingsley Shacklebolt placed the Order around his neck. Minerva paused in her own clapping to shake his hand, then she stepped back to let him have the podium.

Blaise stood quietly for a moment, waiting for the applause to die away, showing the natural grace and poise that had become increasingly evident over the last weeks.

"Thank you, Headmistress McGonagall, Minister Shacklebolt," he said, speaking distinctly but softly, with no amplification, causing the room to come to complete silence in order to hear him. He smiled and said, slightly more loudly, "I would also like to express my appreciation for the wizard who, in difficult times, led our House well, Professor Severus Snape." Blaise paused, as if considering his audience, though it was doubtful that he hadn't planned every word and gesture, though he seemed at ease and his speech unrehearsed. "Professor Snape was an exemplary Slytherin in every way. Not only was he a spy who fooled even Tom Riddle, whose magical power and mastery of the Dark Arts were unquestionably great, Professor Snape was able to impart to us some of the most essential tenets of Slytherin House, ones that did not promote the Dark Arts or include following a mad blood-purist whose ideas would be disastrous for the wizarding world if implemented. And he did this without ever exposing his true allegiance or endangering his position among the Death Eaters.

"I did not at first recognise what he was saying, what he was trying to encourage in us, but every year, from my first year through my seventh, he recited certain of Salazar Slytherin's maxims, always the same ones. These were not lessons about blood, or about the supposed inferiority of Muggles, or about the hypothetical dangers posed by Muggle-born witches and wizards. They spoke of ambition, of the strength to be found in flexibility, of independent thought, and of questioning authority, even that which is most venerated or ancient. All of these Slytherin precepts could be distorted by Death Eaters espousing blood purity, and those who were so inclined heard what they wished to hear. But I, and others, with each year's repetition of these Slytherin values, heard more. To follow a leader without question is not Slytherin. To adopt a practice without evaluating it is not Slytherin. To act in accordance with tradition merely for the sake of that tradition is not Slytherin. Being incapable of bending can snap you, and to refuse to grow is most assuredly death. A Slytherin thinks independently and deliberately. We choose our loyalties; we do not have them thrust upon us.

"Professor Snape," Blaise continued, turning his head and looking directly at Severus, "some of us heard you. We listened and we heeded you. Our thanks go to you, Professor. We are Snape's Slytherins."

Severus sat motionless. He had no idea how to react. With what he thought were inadequate measures, he had tried to steer the students away from the Dark Lord, but they were so young and so influenced first by their families and then by their peers, he had doubted that he had had any effect at all on them, particularly given that he couldn't openly speak out against pureblood ideology or the folly of the Dark Lord's...Riddle's...plans. He certainly hadn't dared hope that any of them would actually listen to the speech he made each September. But now he was being nudged from either side, and he rose briefly, nodded at Blaise, and sat before the applause subsided. Hermione was looking at him, smiling and applauding vigorously, and Severus had to work at not betraying the warmth he felt at her approval.

As he sat down, it struck Severus that this was, perhaps, better recognition than a Merlin. The speeches were being transcribed. There would be a record of what was said of him. The memory of his contribution to Riddle's defeat wouldn't consist solely of the one line of text beneath his name in the awards booklet.

Blaise stepped back and let Minerva return to the podium.

"The next Order of Merlin, first-class, is awarded to one of Snape's Slytherins. He joined them as we prepared to defend Hogwarts, and there are many here tonight who are alive because of his participation." Minerva smiled. "Please, Twiskett, come forward and accept your Order of Merlin, first-class."

Little Twiskett, wearing a Slytherin-green tea towel and his face blushed lilac, trotted up from the back of the room. Blaise bent and put the medal around the house-elf's neck. The medal was on a shorter, narrower ribbon than the others, so it didn't drag on the floor or look too much like a sash.

"We spoke with Twiskett before the awards, asking that he accept our gratitude and the Order of Merlin, the first ever awarded a house-elf. He agreed, but he said he didn't want the money associated with the award, therefore it will be put into a Gringotts account established to support the Society for the Promotion of Elvish Welfare."

Severus glanced over at Hermione and saw that she was grinning broadly. Now that she was older and understood the wizarding world...and house-elves...better, she might be able to do something that actually served the interests of the house-elves.

"The next of Snape's Slytherins is not a member of Slytherin House," Minerva said, "but he joined Snape's Slytherins and is proud to be counted among their number. Mr Ronald Weasley."

Ron, in new black dress robes, bent his neck as Blaise placed the medal around it, and the two shook hands. As Weasley returned to his place, Minerva began to read off the names of the actual Slytherins who had fought with the group. He noted that Professor Slughorn was in that group, but not Professor Gamp. Hardly surprising.

Finally, Kingsley returned to the podium to announce the last of the Orders of Merlin, first-class, and Severus almost breathed a sigh of relief. He could leave and forget this night had ever happened. Except, perhaps, for Blaise's speech. That had been rather gratifying. And Hermione's smiles.

"In the end," Kingsley said, "no matter the number of Death Eaters killed, captured, or incapacitated, if Tom Riddle and his familiar, the snake Nagini, were undefeated, the wizarding world would remain in peril. The next Order of Merlin, first-class, is awarded to Hermione Granger, the daughter of the dentists Anne and Jerome Granger, for her great heroism in killing the snake Nagini and rescuing Professor Snape from death, as well as her work supporting Harry Potter and finding a method for him to defeat Riddle."

Hermione caught Severus's eye as she approached Minerva to accept her award. For a moment, her smile seemed to reach out and touch him physically, but then she turned and Minerva placed the Order of Merlin around her neck.

Kingsley waited until Hermione returned to her seat before continuing.

"In the final confrontation with Riddle, Harry Potter relied on the assistance of others. We begin by presenting the Order of Merlin, first-class, to the first in that encounter who struck a wounding blow to the Dark Wizard, Professor Pomona Sprout, Head of Hufflepuff House."

Pomona rose and accepted her award. As she returned to her seat to the sound of applause, Kingsley waited for silence before continuing. Touching her medal, Pomona leaned toward Severus and whispered, "It barely did anything to him, really. It was just a lucky hit."

"The next award goes to Madam Gertrude Gamp of Slytherin House, my former Arithmancy teacher," Kingsley said with a smile. "In addition to facing Riddle, she contributed her Arithmantic expertise to the defence of Hogwarts."

After Gertrude returned to her table, Kingsley continued. "Minerva McGonagall, as we noted before, also stood beside Potter, and with her was Albus Dumbledore, who, in addition to his many other contributions...and deceptions!...joined Professor McGonagall to create a powerful shield that helped Mr Potter defeat Riddle."

Albus stood and accepted the medal, and this time, rather than the handshake she had been offering all the others, Minerva reached up and kissed his cheek. Albus smiled and blushed, then sat back down. He was forced to stand again and take a bow, the audience's applause was so loud and their enthusiasm so high. He refused, however, to make a speech, for which Severus was doubly thankful. The evening was dragging long, particularly now that Hermione and Blaise had both received their awards.

When finally everyone had taken their seats again and stopped clapping, Kingsley cleared his throat and said, "The next wizard provided the opportunity for Harry Potter to defeat Riddle. He threw a charmed knife...er, skeen dew," he corrected himself after Minerva leaned forward and whispered to him, "and he wounded Riddle, striking him in the side and drawing blood. Gareth McGonagall, Ravenclaw."

Gareth, dressed in kilt and plaid, walked somewhat stiffly up to the dais. He kissed his aunt's cheek as she put the medal around his neck, then he whispered something to her that made her smile. Severus looked down at the booklet. The page he saw was entirely devoted to Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore and a recitation of some of the contributions he had made to Riddle's defeat the second time around. Severus flipped the page and tried to avoid looking at the information about Gertrude Gamp and just read what was written below Gareth's name. He blinked. He had forgotten that Poppy had told him that Gareth had saved Malfoy's life. He wondered whether McGonagall knew that Malfoy had been with him when they had attacked his mother, that he had been the one who had cast the curse on her face. It had healed well, though, with only slight scarring that Severus could see, unlike the curse he himself had cast. Severus swallowed hard.

Kingsley was wrapping up his speech extolling all the virtues of Harry Potter, a wizard who had had far too much responsibility thrust upon him far too young and who had risen not only to face his destiny with Gryffindor courage, but who had destroyed the Dark Wizard, Tom Riddle.

Severus listened as Harry gave an acceptance speech, suitably humble for the Boy-Who-Lived-Twice. Potter began to drone on about everyone else he had to thank, and when he mentioned Sirius Black's name, Severus tuned out completely. He wanted to leave. He could go to bed, perhaps take some of the sleeping potion Melina had left with him a few days before when he had admitted to not sleeping very well now that he was more recovered. It wasn't Dreamless Sleep, but his dreams didn't seem as vivid, and it had helped him sleep several hours straight the one time he took it.

Severus felt Poppy's elbow in his side, and he scowled at her.

"Pay attention," she whispered softly.

He just grimaced at her, but turned his attention back to the dais. If she could tell he wasn't paying attention, he'd either have to do a better job pretending or actually listen to Potter. He didn't hate Potter as much as he once had, but his existence still rankled. There were very few Gryffindors who weren't intolerable. Minerva. Hermione. Possibly Dumbledore, though Severus still tried to avoid thinking about him or looking at him. Poppy elbowed him again. Hufflepuffs were hardly more tolerable.

". . . and although Tom Riddle might have been happy about his death, we were all happy that he was alive . . ." Harry was saying.

Oh, gods, more about Dumbledore. Severus bit back a sigh as Poppy prodded him again. Annoying witch.

". . . taught me a lot and even saved my life. I didn't always appreciate him, but without this wizard, I don't believe that Tom Riddle would have been beaten, or it would have taken much, much longer and cost everyone much more." Harry cleared his throat.

None of the panache of Blaise. It was the rare Gryffindor who could match a Slytherin in that, Severus thought.

"I think it would be easy for this wizard's contributions to be forgotten and lost, since he did a lot of it in secret and we probably won't ever learn the full extent of it." Harry folded the parchment that he'd been reading from. "Even though I'm not on the Merlins committee, I asked to speak with them about the awards. When I think about everyone who got an award tonight, it's sometimes hard for me to see why there are different classes to them, because we all did what we could, and I'm sure that there's no one here who would have refused to do more if it was . . . if it was required of them. Um, when I went out to face Riddle that first time, I might have seemed alone, but I knew my friends, people I loved, were there and depending on me. I was pretty sure that I would survive, too, though there was a chance that I wouldn't, and then during the battle, as Minister Shacklebolt points out, I wasn't alone."

Severus kept himself from sighing. He wished Potter would shut up. Just say that Dumbledore was the greatest living wizard and be done with it so they could all go home.

Harry swallowed and cleared his throat. "There was a wizard who also faced death, but he did it alone and with the certain belief that he could not survive. He struck the first blow in the Battle of Hogwarts and he was the first of us to confront Riddle."

Severus suddenly went cold. Poppy's hand rested on his elbow. He twitched.

"Unlike me, he didn't have any hope that he would survive when he faced Riddle, but he still went willingly. We will never know all that Professor Snape had to endure as the spy for the Order of the Phoenix, but I know that he came near death many times. I am glad that he didn't die in his final confrontation. Professor Severus Snape, alone and out-numbered, confronted Tom Riddle, defied him, and wounded the snake Nagini before he was almost fatally wounded himself. If it hadn't been for the actions of Hermione Granger and Albus Dumbledore, he surely would have died."

Clapping began softly, then grew louder. Hermione and Blaise stood, Snape's Slytherins following suit and others joining them. Severus, by now a little more accustomed to these words of praise from former students, merely nodded, though he felt uncomfortable. He told himself that most of the clapping was for Hermione and Dumbledore. Harry waited, cleared his throat, and then finally asked to be able to continue.

"As I said, some of the distinctions between the deeds of the people who received the different Orders of Merlin seemed a matter of chance, and we all did whatever we could. Professor Snape did all he could, and he willingly offered his life, with no hope of ever seeing any reward, or even living to see another day. The Order of Merlin committee was going to award Professor Snape an Order of Merlin, first-class, but that didn't seem right to me, and I told them that."

Severus stiffened. That brat thanks him for what he did then has the nerve to say he didn't deserve a first-class Merlin! It was a mere matter of chance! He wished he could Disapparate, but Poppy's hand was now clutching his elbow almost painfully, so he couldn't even get up and leave the room. He couldn't leave without creating a scene at this point, anyway.

Harry nodded at Minerva and stepped back. As she stepped up to the podium, Albus came to stand beside her, holding something in front of him. Poppy released Severus's elbow.

"Professor Severus Snape, my dear friend," Minerva began, smiling and looking directly at him, "I am very happy and honoured to ask that you step forward and accept the first-ever award of the Order of Merlin Without Peer."

Note: As I noted in my recent LJ entry, the epilogue is still to come, so it's not over yet! For a little peek at what's to come, take a look at the LJ version of the table of contents.