Chapter Twenty-Seven: Shall not die windily

Warning for instance of vulgar language.

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Chapter Twenty-Seven: Shall not die windily

23 – 25 May 1998

Severus surreptitiously took in his surroundings as he approached the Dark Lord, but it took him only a fraction of a moment to realise they were in the Shrieking Shack. Two Death Eaters in full robes, hats, and masks stood a few feet behind the Dark Lord. One of them Severus recognised as the traitor Pettigrew, despite the mask. There was no mistaking that bent and cowering figure.

Severus paid obeisance to Voldemort, but the Dark Lord impatiently ordered him to stand.

"Pettigrew tells me that the tunnel from this place is still open. Is that true?"

"I believe so, my lord," Severus responded. "It has not been warded as the tunnels into and out of the castle proper have been. Few have ever learned of the tunnel, few of those are currently alive, and fewer still are in residence at the castle. It is, however, unsuitable for bringing more than a few Death Eaters at a time onto the grounds. The way is narrow and it has a guard of sorts."

The Dark Lord's eyes became slits. "And you know the egress point and can emerge without causing any distracting reactions?" he asked, ignoring Severus's comments.

Severus nodded. "I do and I can. The Whomping Willow has its secrets, but they are known to me, as they are to Pettigrew."

"Then that is how we shall proceed." Voldemort looked around the room, then he gestured to the two standing behind him. "Go. Leave us."

"But, my lord," Pettigrew began in a stuttering voice.

"Do you wish my punishment?"

"No, my lord, but I can..."

"Crucio!"

The Dark Lord's punishment was brief, a mere instant, but Pettigrew collapsed, twitching. The rat had been subject to the curse so frequently in recent days that he had become hypersensitive to it. Severus felt no pity for the treacherous Gryffindor, though, despite the fact that Pettigrew was often tortured simply as a means for the Dark Lord to vent his anger or relieve his boredom and rarely for anything he had actually done or failed to do. Severus believed that, oddly, the Dark Lord had become fond of the rat...or perhaps "fond" was too strong a word. But the tyrant was attached to him and did give him regular treats. There was something about Pettigrew's existence and about his place at his side that gave the Dark Lord a boost to his self-image, perhaps as a symbol of the domination that he could achieve even over a supposed friend of Potter and ally of Dumbledore, a successful subversion that could be replicated. Severus suppressed a shudder at that thought. Or the Dark Lord could simply like having a lapdog who would cringe, crawl, beg, and fawn, despite the pain and punishment, in anticipation of those irregular pats on the head and the unpredictable but succulent treats tossed in his direction.

After both other Death Eaters had Disapparated, Voldemort indicated with a gesture that Severus should remove his mask, then said, "The tomb is not far from the tunnel exit, correct?"

"Correct, my lord." Severus removed his mask and waited, not wanting to elicit a Crucio.

"Then that is how we will enter the grounds and gain access to the rotting carcass of the old fool," Voldemort declared.

"As you wish, my lord, although if you desire only desecration of the tomb and the remains, there is no need for you to do so personally. I could do it alone, or you could send Pettigrew. He might enjoy such a task."

Voldemort raised a thin lip. "Did I say anything about 'desecration,' Severus? Disturbing the old man's grave would hardly be desecration, though it will certainly cause an uproar in the castle. If that was my only aim, I certainly would not consult you about it." He ran one long, bony finger along his wand. "Pettigrew would be up to that task, as you say. I have another objective in mind, and it will remain between the two of us. Do you understand me?"

Severus gave a slight bow. "It is always as you wish, my lord. I was simply concerned for your safety."

"My safety will not be in question. Only yours," the Dark Lord replied, sounding amused. "You may save your concern for yourself."

"Shall we go now, then, before dawn approaches? The entrance to the tunnel..."

"Did I say that we would do this now? No. Come here Monday morning at three-thirty. Do not be late."

"That . . . is a very good plan, my lord," Severus said obsequiously, but wondering why the Dark Lord would inform him in advance.

"And the wards?"

"It will now be a simple thing for me to lower the Anti-Apparition wards," Severus said. "Whenever you wish them to be lowered, you will have the freedom of the grounds, my lord. Say the word, and I could lower them now with no more delay than that required for me to return to Hogwarts."

"Very good. You continue to please me, Severus." The Dark Lord nodded in approval. "I had concerns about you, but you have learned your lessons well. I will reward you. Just as Malfoy has been an example of the consequences of incompetence and treachery, you will serve as an example of the rewards available to those who please me."

"I am humbled, my lord," Severus said, his head lowered. "I will endeavour to continue to do all I can to earn and deserve your favour."

"Reenter the Hogwarts ground using the tunnel. Ensure that the way will be clear on Monday. And kill that Gryffindor witch who has risen above her station." Voldemort sounded venomous.

"I will do as you wish, my lord, though it would still please me to keep her longer, have her see me as rightful Headmaster. And she might still be useful."

Voldemort's eyes narrowed. "If I did not know of your loathing for all things Gryffindor, I would suspect you have developed a soft spot for the frigid witch. Do not allow your role as her comforter and confidant to confuse you, Severus. As for her usefulness . . . she may not be as formidable as she believed herself to be, but she could still be capable of some grand Gryffindor gesture of self-sacrifice and cause us some annoyance once she understands the new order of things. She could hardly be a threat to us, but it's better to be rid of her and any others who might distract us from our purpose. And you must give me Hogwarts with no irritating resistance from her and her friends."

"My pleasure in her humiliation is nothing in the face of that purpose," Severus said, trying to sound suitably apologetic.

"There are other witches whom you may choose. You will have pleasure enough when I take my rightful place," the Dark Lord replied with haughty dismissal.

"I live for that day, my lord," Severus said fervently.

"Do you have any inkling that there is a spy in our midst, Severus?"

Severus could not completely mask his surprise at the sudden change in topic. "No, my lord! If I had even the slightest suspicion of such a thing, I would tell you immediately!"

"You have heard nothing from the scrawny Scot or anyone else in the Order, nothing that might hint at a secret source of information?"

"No, I haven't . . . although there are occasionally meetings to which I am not privy, but I always know who the attendees are, and none are any who I believe are among your followers," Severus replied.

"You do not know all who have chosen to join me, Severus," the Dark Lord reminded him, an undercurrent of anger in his voice.

"Of course not, my lord, but I always inform you of those meetings and who attends them! The one at Grimmauld Place after the last regular meeting is the most recent one I know about. I already reported to you who was present at that meeting...McGonagall, Weasley, the werewolf, and that Tonks witch."

For obvious reasons, Severus had not reported that Crouch had attended at Minerva's side, and on Weasley and McGonagall's orders, he had been leaving out mention of Shacklebolt for some time. The imposing Auror was crucial to the Order's defence of the Ministry, and he was one of the few Order members whom Voldemort would view as a serious threat. Although Severus did not entirely obscure the fact that Shacklebolt still attended Order meetings, he greatly downplayed his role and conveyed the impression that Shacklebolt was far more interested in maintaining his position at the Ministry than in helping the Order. He had even implied to the Dark Lord that Shacklebolt might be a Ministry spy and that he was not entirely trusted by Arthur or Minerva. Now Severus wondered if that had been a mistake.

Did the Dark Lord have another spy among them? Did he test Severus's statements against those of the other spy? Could that spy even be Shacklebolt? That seemed impossible, but perhaps someone else?

Severus clamped down and Occluded. He could give nothing away. The Dark Lord was testing him, and no one else was relevant. The question of whether there was another spy was an issue he could deal with later. If he showed any excessive interest in Shacklebolt, the Dark Lord might deduce that he was more crucial to the Order than he had been led to believe, and that, in turn, could undermine the defence of the Ministry.

"And you, Severus?" Voldemort cocked his head to one side, considering him. "You have served me well, but in your comfort with the Headmistress, have you told her things you should not?"

Severus allowed surprise at the question to show on his face. "Absolutely not! McGonagall believes me, at most, a reluctant follower or even a pathetic turncoat. I tell her only what you instruct me to. We discuss little more than the security of Hogwarts. She believes that I have little knowledge of the Death Eaters and that I am unimportant to you." Severus sneered. "If she knew the rewards of serving you, my lord, and how very pathetic she and her paltry words of thanks are, how I despise everything about her, and how I relish her humiliation, she would be shocked."

Voldemort stared at him, but Severus detected no Legilimency. He relaxed his mind and left it unfocussed, ready in case the Dark Lord decided to spring upon him with a sudden Legilimens.

"I believe there may be a spy among my followers at the Ministry," the Dark Lord said finally. "Someone who is attempting to compromise our activities these last few days."

Severus thought quickly. Recent Death Eater raids had elicited only the most cursory and almost feeble response by the Ministry. The attacks that were supposed to be distracting and exhausting the MLE, stretching it thin before the attacks on the Ministry and on Hogwarts, were barely causing a ripple...though the Prophet complained bitterly about the Ministry's inability to prevent the attacks and their lacklustre response to them. In addition, because of the Order's efforts to close businesses in wizarding Edinburgh and London, there were fewer good targets. Not that that always discouraged a scheduled attack, but burning down a building with no one inside it was not as satisfying as murder and mayhem.

It did not seem that the Dark Lord suspected that there had been anything beyond genuine accident and natural catastrophe prompting the initial closings. Now that the attacks were picking up, businesses were closing in reaction to them, not only in the larger wizarding districts in major cities, but even in smaller communities, and families with means were hiding in their homes and commissioning Gringotts goblins for expensive new wards...fearing that a witch or wizard hired might be a Death Eater.

"The Prophet complains of lack of Ministry action," Severus remarked thoughtfully. "It could be a sign that the Ministry has become demoralised and ineffective. They have always been incompetent. I am sure that when you have taken your rightful place and can present the wizarding world with strong leadership, everyone will welcome you and your strength."

Voldemort appeared to relax, and he nodded. "True. They all crave an iron hand, and when we have restored the supremacy of the wizarding race, they will enjoy the fruits of purification. They will understand that one must burn to cleanse and destroy to build." The Dark Lord's eyes shone at the thought, and his right hand gripped his wand tightly as he stroked it over the palm of his left hand. "My power will be supreme. There will be no weakness allowed in the wizarding world, no Muggle-loving, no Mudbloods, and the pureblood world will bow to me." He bared his teeth in glee.

Severus, sensing the Dark Lord's mood, fell to his knees and touched his forehead to the floor before straightening slightly and saying in a hushed voice, "It is an awesome and inspiring vision, my lord. Thank you for allowing me the privilege of serving you as you come into your own."

The Dark Lord's hideous smile grew. "Not all have been accorded that privilege, and some who were, squandered it. You are much like me, Severus. You recognise the weakness of the wizarding world, the fools and idiots who populate it, and you desire the supremacy that is your right...but," he added in a warning tone, "do not attempt to rise beyond the station I grant you. Only I convey any rights; continue to serve me well and your rewards will continue to be great."

Severus lowered his head meekly. "Only those who have earned your favour deserve anything, even a crust or a breath. I endeavour to always be deserving, my lord, and desire correction when I fail you. You set all standards and your might ensures that they are met. I always strive to attain those standards and thereby be deserving."

"You are my ultimate disciple, Severus. You have not yet reached your full potential, and you have many bad habits to break, but I forgive you," the Dark Lord said with clearly patronising generosity, "because you have been forced to serve me from afar for so many years, living among Muggle-lovers. When I take my place, you will have the opportunity finally to reach your potential. So many others do not understand me. They follow me, and they are, in their way, loyal and useful, but they seek to please me without the understanding you show. You know that my will sets all standards, that your will must be subjugated to those standards, and that your pleasure and satisfaction are dependent upon meeting those standards. You do not allow some fleeting but inconsequential desire of your own to distract you from obeying my will." He nodded and stepped toward Severus where he still knelt on the hard, dirty floor. When the Dark Lord placed a long, bony hand on his shoulder, a mockery of an affectionate gesture, Severus did not react except to bow his head further. "Do not allow yourself to slip, Severus. As we approach victory, do not become distracted by any fleeting desires or bad habits. Your reward is dependent upon it."

Suddenly, the Dark Lord raised his hand and stepped back. "Do not forget Malfoy. The greater the rewards I have given, the greater the punishment for failure!"

Severus did not move, though he braced inwardly for the Cruciatus. When it was not immediately forthcoming, he said, "Malfoy was always interested only in himself and his short-term pleasure, my lord. He allowed himself to fall into the danger of failure because of it, regardless of what he believed of his own loyalty to you. I did not see it before, but it is clear now. His downfall will not be mine."

He heard the Dark Lord take in a breath and let it out in apparent satisfaction.

"Rise now and go. You will encounter a few Death Eaters outside the door. Tell them to join me."

In one more gesture of submission, Severus quickly touched his head to the floor before he rose, trying to stand fluidly and without effort despite the cramping in his joints.

---

"I was confused at first when he told me that we're to enter the Hogwarts grounds together on Monday morning," Severus said to Minerva. "I simply didn't understand why he would inform me in advance of something that could place him in a vulnerable position. But I think I understand now."

"Why did he, then?" Minerva asked, pouring them each more tea.

Severus had described the meeting to her as they shared a bracing pot of Assam. She had been dressed and waiting for him when he returned, and Robbie had joined them and was now apparently dozing in his wingback chair.

"I actually thought that that was why you had been called this morning," Minerva continued. "I stood at the window watching the tomb, waiting, and when you didn't appear, I became concerned about you."

"I think that the Dark Lord has found himself in a position where he believes he must rely on me and trust me...whether this is a conscious belief or not," Severus said slowly. "In order to become comfortable with something that he might perceive as a weakness, he is demonstrating to himself that he does, indeed, have reason to trust me. I also believe he won't be as vulnerable as we might think. Even unaware that we'd be unlikely to attack him at that point, he must have some other reason for thinking that he won't be vulnerable. In addition, over the past few weeks, he has encountered more frustration and failure than he had counted on...even the lack of resistance by the Ministry frustrates him and deprives him of the attention and flashy publicity he desires. He has come to fear that one of his minions in the Ministry may actually be a spy." Severus hesitated, then decided to wait until later to address his own concerns with Minerva about a possible spy. "In me, the Dark Lord has come to see what he most desires: a competent, loyal servant, not unambitious but willing to subjugate my own ambition to his, one whom he has carefully moulded and formed, one of his successes. It bolsters his self-image, and it's also very convenient for him since he sees me as his key to the gates and doors of Hogwarts. Of course, he phrases it differently when he speaks to me, emphasising to me that it is my reward that depends upon my loyalty and my carrying out his will."

Minerva nodded slightly. "I suppose that could be the case, and certainly you are better acquainted with him than any of us, but I also worry now that the trip to the Headmaster's tomb is a mere feint, and that it truly is you who will be vulnerable, that he has some ambush in mind for you, and perhaps for Hogwarts as a whole."

"That is possible," Severus acknowledged, "but I do not favour that interpretation. No doubt he has some plan in mind to punish or kill me if something goes wrong, but his manner this evening . . . he sent Pettigrew and the other Death Eater from the room, and although I did not believe we were truly alone, and indeed, there were several Death Eaters just outside the door, it was still an unusual gesture, particularly when not at one of the manors or the Riddle house."

"He met with you alone at the Grangers'," Minerva pointed out.

"There were others in the house, though, and I could occasionally hear them. I never believed we were alone then, whereas this morning, by sending the others away, the Dark Lord tried to give me the impression that it was just the two of us there, even though he must realise that I would guess that there were others nearby," Severus said. He gave a crooked grin. "Of course, the Dark Lord believes, not without reason, that I wouldn't dare to attack him alone even if I were a traitor. His wand was out the entire time, and I had pocketed mine as soon as I arrived, as none of us are allowed to simply have them casually in hand in his presence and we brandish them only at his behest or with his permission. I am also not so foolish as to be confident that I could defeat him even in a fair duel, not without a good deal of luck, anyway, and I would certainly be killed if I tried...if not by him, then by one of his guards. He only has reason to have fear with regard to what else I might do, what betrayal I might orchestrate. No, he met with me alone because he wants no others to know of our business, and he met with me alone in that particular place in order to demonstrate to me that he is according me special privileges. For himself, it was another test of my unquestioning loyalty, one that I passed."

"I'd like to view your memory of this meeting, Severus. We can do it together; you might notice something you didn't at the time."

Severus nodded, then reflexively cast a glance at the auburn-haired wizard, who had not stirred in the last several minutes.

Minerva smiled slightly. "I'm afraid that he was up most of the night and had only come to bed just before you were called. I'll tell him about it later."

Severus remembered his concerns about a spy. It seemed unlikely in the extreme that if there were a spy, it could be Crouch, even given Severus's own initial distrust of the wizard. Crouch simply didn't seem to have the opportunities required, especially if he were both spy and traitor...to either side. His time was well accounted for. He very rarely left Hogwarts; when he wasn't teaching, he was usually with Minerva, although that had changed somewhat in recent months. And the Dark Lord had never reacted in any way toward Crouch except to tell Severus to eliminate him if he was an obstacle.

Severus felt a curious sense of relief at being able to dismiss Crouch as a candidate, either as a spy or a double-agent; it would be personally difficult on Minerva if he were a traitor, and Severus wanted to believe that Crouch genuinely had the affection for Minerva that he appeared to. There was something else in that relief, but Severus couldn't identify it, unless it was simply that it was welcome to have one person, however little Severus may have once liked him, who was what he appeared to be. Besides, Crouch had turned out to be both competent and useful.

Despite that, he preferred to speak with Minerva alone about the possibility that there might be another double agent, whether it was for the Order or for the Ministry.

Severus stood. "We can view the memory now, if you like, and then we can discuss one particular point that I would like your opinion on."

After they had left the Headmistress's sitting room, Robbie opened his eyes. He took a long, deep breath and let it out slowly. He stood, stretched, and poured more tea into his cup, passing his hand over it to rewarm it, then he took a gelatin capsule from his pocket and swallowed it, washing it down with the tea, then grimacing slightly. He crossed over to the window where Minerva had stood in the dark and waited for Severus to reappear.

The auburn-haired wizard looked out the high tower window. Cold dawn light now revealed the Hogwarts grounds, though the Forbidden Forest was still a formless shadow. Tendrils of mist gently curled their way across the earth, wreathing the white marble tomb with ribbons of fog. A peculiar expression crossed the wizard's face, and he turned away.

In the bedroom, he stripped off his robes, then, holding his breath, he tore off a large white adhesive patch from his hip. He removed his wand from the wandpocket of his outer-robe and cast a nonverbal spell, incinerating the patch. He took another apparently identical patch from a small, password-protected drawer in the wardrobe, then snagged his silvery-grey dressing gown, tossed it over his shoulder, and proceeded to the bathroom and a bracing shower to prepare him for the day.

Down in the Headmistress's Office, Minerva and Severus emerged from the Pensieve and Severus restored his memory.

"You did very well, Severus," Minerva said. "When you told me about it, you underplayed your manipulation of him. It was impressive."

Severus could not hide his pleasure at her words. "It was satisfying."

"I enjoyed the way you sprinkled the truth in your statements, particularly when you declared that Malfoy's downfall would not be yours." Minerva smiled at him and gave his arm a squeeze. "I cannot sufficiently express my pride in you. I admire your strength, loyalty, and cunning. Thank you."

Severus inclined his head slightly. "I wish the Headmaster were here to share our successes," he said softly. "But it's his sacrifice that has enabled me to continue as I have. Any gratitude should be to him for that sacrifice. I just . . ." Severus swallowed. "I just wish he hadn't had to die and leave us both."

"You miss him. I know he would be proud of you, though," Minerva replied, rubbing his upper arm. "He had great faith in you."

Severus looked away, but did not pull back from her affectionate touch. "I didn't understand. I didn't understand until it was too late. I didn't want to understand." He gave a mirthless laugh. "The story of my life, isn't it, Minerva? To discover only after I've lost someone . . . lost them, driven them away, killed them . . . I used to tell myself that the Headmaster was just my other master, a master like him, the only difference being that I really did serve the Headmaster, though only because doing so also served my own purposes, which I defined narrowly, deliberately ignoring . . ." He let out a shaky breath.

"Albus did not think of himself as your master, Severus," Minerva said softly, her hand resting on his bicep. "Your boss, your leader, perhaps your commanding officer, to use a military term, and he wanted to believe he was also your friend, although that was hard for him with all of the other roles he had to play. He loves you like a son, despite the difficult road you both travelled to get to that point."

Severus turned his head, gazing down into her eyes with some amusement in his own. "Your habit is back, Minerva."

"Habit?"

"Referring to the Headmaster as still living."

"I didn't." She paused. "He does still love you, though."

"And you?"

"Me? Of course he still loves me."

Severus glanced toward the stairs to her suite.

"And I love him," Minerva continued, noting his glance. "But what is this?" she asked curiously, pausing as she felt something hard beneath the thin layers of his shirt and over-robe.

Severus stepped back. "The gift from your nephew. At his suggestion."

Minerva's eyebrows rose. "What was that?"

He frowned slightly and shook his head. "Never mind. It's nothing." He drew himself straighter. "In any event, it is time for me to return to my rooms, attire myself properly, and check on Slytherin House before breakfast, make sure that Zabini has survived another night."

"How is he coping?"

"Surprisingly well...or perhaps not so surprisingly...and I have the sense that he has, indeed, gathered other like-minded Slytherins to him these last few weeks."

"Perhaps another branch of Dumbledore's Army," Minerva suggested.

Severus snorted. "No, never. And I mean no disrespect to the late Headmaster, and he could be as clever and wily as any Slytherin when it was required of him, but whatever it is that Zabini may do, he would create no 'Dumbledore's Army' himself, and Dumbledore's Army, whether led by Potter or by Longbottom, would never have him or any other Slytherin."

"And what would you say if Longbottom did invite Slytherins to join Dumbledore's Army? Even Zabini?" Minerva asked.

"I would say he was a fool," Severus replied reluctantly.

Minerva made an open gesture with both hands. "You see?"

"Hmmpf. You will speak with Arthur and Shacklebolt about the spy? It concerns me. If there's someone whom the Ministry believes to be their spy, but who is actually serving the Dark Lord, all our work could be undermined. If they tell him anything..."

"Of course. I don't think there's another spy, though...other than any Ministry workers who have escaped detection...and you needn't worry. No one outside of the Order knows that you are providing such important information," Minerva reassured him, "and very few in the Order itself know precisely what that information is. Scrimgeour knows you are a loyal member of the Order and no doubt has correctly concluded where it is that Shacklebolt gets his intelligence. But even Gawain Robards is bypassed. Shacklebolt reports only to Scrimgeour."

"And the Order . . . there is no one else in the Order, or not in the Order itself, but perhaps a Death Eater who has come to a member claiming to want to betray his master?"

"I would know it if there were, I'm sure, unless there's some member who is operating on his or her own, but I've seen no evidence of that."

Severus nodded. "I think it's actually I whom the Dark Lord seeks, but he's blind to my true allegiance. I'll be unsurprised if he chooses a scapegoat to punish. If someone in the Ministry goes missing in the next few hours, we will know why."

"As long as he does not choose you, Severus."

"My moment will come, Minerva. It's only a short time off now." He raised his hand and fleetingly touched his fingertips to her cheek. "When he learns that you are not dead, he will certainly kill me. But I will do what I can to delay that moment until you are ready and it's too late for him to change his plans. And as I promised, I will not meekly lay my head upon the chopping block, despite any loss in dignity it might cost me. I doubt any death he metes out will be very dignified, in any case."

---

As he showered and then dressed for breakfast, Severus's thoughts turned to Hermione. They had met for an hour on Thursday evening. Rather taking than a "brain holiday," they had discussed Potter. She was convinced now of what it was that Potter had to do in order to defeat the Dark Lord, although she was not completely confident that he would succeed. Crouch's discussions with her had apparently helped her to hone her theories, although she told Severus that she never could have done it without his initial assistance, and Severus didn't believe that she was merely humouring him. It was difficult now for him to remember those earlier conversations, though, his life was so consumed by the present and by his anticipation of the next few days to come.

As he pulled on his boots, Severus wondered whether anyone would ever write his biography. It was not a far-fetched idea, given his role in the war. Minerva had said that, if she lived, she would tell everyone the truth of his allegiance, and Hermione knew it, too. Nonetheless, any biography of him was likely to be an unflattering portrayal, even if it acknowledged his importance in the Dark Lord's downfall. Unless, of course, it was written by one of his friends. One of his very few friends.

Severus thumped his heel on the hard stone floor of his bedroom, settling the boot onto his foot. Saturday morning now. On Monday morning, he would assist the Dark Lord in violating the Headmaster's tomb, then on Monday evening, he would loose a horde of Death Eaters upon Hogwarts. And then the Dark Lord would discover his betrayal and would kill him.

Fewer than three days before his final acts on this earth. If he could, he would see Hermione later and say good-bye to her. He'd made a habit of not appreciating those whom he cared about and who cared about him, not realising until it was too late to enjoy it and to express his appreciation. It was too late for many things, but he could at least try to let Hermione know that he appreciated her presence in his life. And if she thought him peculiar for it or did not return the sentiment, well, he had less than three days to endure any humiliation.

Oddly, he seemed to hear the Headmaster's voice in his head, asking him whether he would love someone who would be cruel to him . . . That moment seemed so long ago now, when he had lain curled up in agony on the floor of Minerva's sitting room and had admitted to Albus that he was suffering from the Actus Adfectus Amor Verissimus. Of course, this was entirely different. It wasn't as though he loved Hermione. Severus swallowed, closing his eyes as he tried to chase away the thought that he wished he had had the opportunity to come to love her. Perhaps even possessing that wish was a sign of love . . .

Friendship. It was losing the opportunity for friendship with her that he regretted. He would tell her that.

Severus had been resigned to death for so long, and had actually yearned for it to come take him sooner, that it surprised him to find that there were any things that he could wish he still had life left to do. A half smile crossed his face. It would even have been nice to have bought McGonagall that drink he owed him. These people, these friends he would never have . . .

Severus touched the flick knife hidden beneath the sleeves covering his left arm. It was little more than a talisman for him; it was unlikely that he would have any opportunity to defend himself, but he had it there, and he had carried it with him each of the last few times he had been summoned, and he would have it on the last day.

---

Hermione smiled up at him as he entered the Headmistress's library and closed the door behind him.

"I didn't know if I would see you today," she said.

Severus returned her smile with a small one of his own. "I was unsure myself whether I would find you here, though I hoped I would." He had vowed that, other than remembering the fact that he would be dead in a few days time, he would keep any thought of the Dark Lord, the war, and Potter from his mind, and focus on Hermione and try to be the friend to her that he wished he could be. "I wanted to see you."

"Have you had new ideas about Harry and Riddle?" Hermione asked.

"No, or if I have, they are irrelevant. I don't want to discuss them. I don't even want to take a brain holiday . . . just see you," he said awkwardly.

Hermione blushed. "Well, um, I'm kind of sick of going over all of that again and again, too. That and everything else."

Severus nodded as he pulled out a chair and sat down at the end of the table rather than across from her as he usually did.

"Was there something in particular that you did want to talk about, Professor?"

"Severus," he said. His cheek twitched in a slight smile. "As you have said, we are friends here. No, nothing in particular. Except that."

Recovering from her mild surprise at the explicit invitation to call him by his given name, Hermione asked, "Except what?"

"Just that we're friends . . ." He cleared his throat. "Friends of a sort. I appreciate it. I wanted you to know." He felt like a fool.

But Hermione smiled at him. "I appreciate it too. I'm really happy that we've had this time together. It's meant a lot to me. I'm glad you feel we're friends. I hope that after the war, we can do things that are more fun and that we'll be friends outside of this room."

"That's one of the other things I wanted to . . . that's a topic I wanted to address," Severus said awkwardly. "I can't say very much about it, but it's likely that this will be our last meeting. Events are moving rapidly, Hermione. I didn't want it all to end without having told you."

Hermione's expression grew more serious. "It's that close, then?"

"Yes, it's that close. But this has been a good thing in my life. I didn't do anything to deserve it, but I'm grateful. That's all I wanted to say. That and good-bye."

"No, not good-bye," Hermione replied. "Remember that hope and optimism thing we talked about? I can't say good-bye. Not yet, anyway." She reached over and laid her hand over his. "I'd rather think about some of the things we can do after."

Severus swallowed past the lump in his throat. This was harder than he'd thought it would be, though not at all for the reasons that he had imagined. He didn't want to say good-bye, either, but it seemed pointless to pretend that there would be any "after." Still, he could humour her and give her another good memory of him.

"All right. What would you like to do?"

"Well, after all the hoopla died down...because I'm sure that there will be celebrations, and maybe even one or both of us will have to recover from some injuries, and then there will probably be awards. You'll get an Order of Merlin, of course. But after all that is over . . . I think I'd just like to take a walk with you. It probably sounds silly, but it would be nice. Just the two of us, outside somewhere, and not hiding in a closed-up room without any windows," she said, looking around them. "And then I think I'd like to cook you a meal. Not that I'm much of a cook. But my parents will be back by then, and so my mum could help, and you could talk about history with my dad, and then after, we could take a bottle of wine and go sit in the back garden, just the two of us, and we could take a brain holiday. What about you? What would you like to do?"

"I would . . ." He shook his head. "I don't know. But your ideas sound very good. Although dinner with your parents . . ."

"Why not? I think you would enjoy it. Something ordinary, for one, and my parents are interesting people." Hermione giggled. "Every time I see them again, I'm always surprised by how much more intelligent and interesting they've become since the last time I saw them!"

Severus let himself smile at her joke. "I think it would take me a while to get used to not having to be friends in a closed, windowless room, that it would take time for me to get used to being able to have friends at all. And I think I would have no idea what to do with them or with myself."

"But it will be good, won't it? Good to be able to be yourself without being a spy and everything?" Hermione asked.

"Of course, Hermione, it would be very good," he said softly. It would not happen, but it would be nice.

"Severus," Hermione said, trying out his name, "you have to sound more positive than that if you are ever going to learn about hope and optimism. It will be good. And we will have dinner after everything has settled down. If you still want to be friends then, of course."

"In the highly unlikely event that I'm still alive and the Dark Lord is dead, then yes, I will want us to be friends." He turned his hand over and took hers gently, looking into her eyes. "The Headmistress, too, hopes that I will live, and I've asked that she forgive me if I don't. Please, Hermione, don't be angry with me when I do die. I will try to fight, but . . . I don't want to talk about this. It's the way it has to be. Let's just enjoy these few moments." He squeezed her hand.

Hermione nodded. "All right. As long as you know that I hope we do have that opportunity to become better friends."

"You tempt me, Hermione," he said softly. Fleetingly, he thought of taking Hermione, leaving with her, going far away, but he could never escape the Dark Lord, and she would never agree to abandon her friends to evil. "But I do remember that if I choose any other path, you will be one of those with no opportunities at all, and I cannot allow that. Only the Dark Lord's defeat can create a world worth living in. I've long since come to terms with my role in his defeat."

"But after his defeat, if things go well for both of us, we can spend more time together," Hermione said.

"Yes, we can. We will."

---

"I think it is time," Minerva said on Sunday morning. "I'm going to bring Poppy to see you as we discussed last night."

"You know that I respect your decisions, but..."

"Poppy has taken too much on faith already, as have so many others. I'm sure she would do whatever I asked of her, whatever was required of her, even without knowing more, but I think it's time to tell her. Especially since there might be complications, particularly with the tomb opening tomorrow."

"She is no Occlumens. Severus..."

"...has no reason to practise any Legilimency on Poppy, and although she is no Occlumens, she also doesn't broadcast. Does she?"

Robbie sighed and shook his head. "No, she doesn't. Still, even one person beyond the circle of those who need to know..."

"It's no different from your involving Aberforth," Minerva argued.

"It is."

"No. We could have made the same requests of him without having him learn anything more than what he needed to know in order to help. I believe he would have agreed. This is my decision. You can think of it as a warm-up for our meeting with Hermione tomorrow. I am going to see Poppy now."

"As you wish," Robbie replied, bowing his head, acquiescing.

Minerva hesitated, looking up at him. "What is it you fear? I know that I decided, what now seems a very long time ago, that we would restrict who knew anything and how much or how little any of them would know, and it was my decision not to include Poppy in any of it at that time, but we are nearing the end now, and what I am asking of her is scarcely on the order of what I would have required sixteen or seventeen months ago. We are very close to the end of it all. I don't see the harm, and it could be helpful."

"It isn't simply a matter of restricting information for reasons of security. Poppy is of a very different disposition than Aberforth. Have you considered the effect on her? And she doesn't normally broadcast her thoughts and feelings, but with this . . . she's bound to be emotionally affected. It could be that something in her manner will change. Beyond that consideration, though, she may actually be more effective on Monday and Tuesday if she knows less. It could distract her. We don't know how she will react."

"That's possible, but not likely. I know she's likely to react differently than Aberforth did, especially as he claims that he always suspected. I'm certain that Poppy does not. But we will deal with that." Minerva looked at him speculatively. "I will bring her to the Heart of Hogwarts. I don't think there's any good way to tell her what we're doing. Meet us there. I will return with her in . . . twenty minutes. I will make the trapdoor available to you before I leave."

"You want me to . . ." The words were soft, barely a whisper.

"Yes. Before we get there, preferably."

"But..."

"I know. But she's a strong Hufflepuff. She can take it."

---

Minerva smiled at Poppy. "I wanted to thank you again for your help with Severus...taking care of him so well and then participating in our little melodrama."

"I've been wondering about that," Poppy admitted, "but I know that there's a lot you can't tell me. Did it help him?"

"Not as much as I had hoped, but some. Riddle was amused by it, and now he's come to believe that Severus exercises some control over me," Minerva replied. "I have more to ask of you, but before I do, I have some information for you. It isn't something that you strictly need to know, Poppy, but it's something that I need to share with you. Let's get on with it, if you're ready."

Poppy looked confused, but she nodded, unsure what she should be ready for.

"You have been in the Heart of Hogwarts before, haven't you?" Minerva asked as she led her to the library.

"Only once. It was very impressive."

"It is also quite secure, one of the two or three most secure places here in the castle, and that's saying a lot."

Minerva waved her wand and the trapdoor appeared. Another flick, and the door opened. Unlike when she had brought Draco into the Heart, she hadn't removed the wall along one side of the stairway, and there was a lit torch beside every third step. She'd wanted Draco unbalanced and out of his element. Poppy, on the other hand, she wanted as comfortable as possible.

"I'll go first. If you would close the trapdoor behind us, that would be helpful," Minerva said.

When she reached the tenth stair down, Poppy waved her wand and the door closed gently above them.

"Thank you. As I said, I have something to show you before we talk." Minerva made the turn to the final three steps, and she looked back up at Poppy. "I am so glad I can rely on you, Poppy."

"Always!"

Minerva opened the door at the bottom of the stairs, stepped through, then stood to one side to let Poppy by.

Poppy took in the dimly lit room. The ornately carved round table was as she remembered it from her single visit many years before. The room had been empty but for that table when she had seen it last; this time, there was a chair as well, across the room to her right, partly in shadow. A figure rose from the chair and turned toward them. Poppy blinked. Everything swam and went black. Minerva caught her as she fell.

---

"Hot, sweet tea. I'm becoming quite good at dispensing it lately," Minerva said, handing a cup of the same to Poppy.

Poppy took the tea and leaned back into the sofa again. "Something to share with me indeed!" she grumbled. "Really, Minerva! Don't you think it's a little late in life for you to begin developing a flair for the dramatic?"

"I have always had a flair for the dramatic," she replied primly. "I merely reserve it for special occasions! Now, while we wait for Robbie to return, let me tell you what we expect over the next two days . . ."

---

At three twenty-nine, Severus Apparated from the gates to the bedroom of the Shrieking Shack. The room was empty, and his apprehension increased. He fought to breathe calmly as he listened for any sign that there were others in the house. He heard nothing, but his skin prickled and he felt that there was someone else present.

The new moon cast no light, and amorphous shadows filled the room. Severus chanced a Lumos and was immediately glad he had. He picked up the parchment he could now see lying on the ancient mattress.

Proceed as planned. Open the tomb and wait. Destroy this.

Severus presumed the Dark Lord wanted him to go through the tunnel to the grounds. He wasted no time, turning and leaving as soon as his eyes had scanned the short message, Vanishing the parchment as he did so.

This was only the fourth time he had been in the tunnel since that first occasion many years ago, and one of those trips he could not remember, since he'd been Stunned and dragged through it unconscious. He associated the tunnel with humiliation, danger, and pain, but he thrust those associations from his mind, concentrating on getting from one end of the tunnel to the other. The next part of his task didn't bear thinking about; it certainly didn't even bear doing, but he would.

As he hurried down the tunnel, Severus continued to have the feeling that there was someone nearby. He looked over his shoulder a few times, but saw no one. He exited from the base of the Whomping Willow, pressing the knot to calm the tree so that he could pass safely. Now he was certain there was someone else there, close behind him. If it wasn't the Dark Lord, he would be very surprised.

Severus hated wearing his robes and mask on the Hogwarts grounds, and he felt vulnerable as he crossed the open lawn. He knew, though, that Minerva was watching for him, so he waited until he was beside the tomb before Disillusioning himself. He glanced back toward the tree, but saw nothing. Beneath the Disillusionment Charm, his mask covered a grimace of distaste as Severus used his wand to attempt to raise the top of the tomb. The tomb seemed to be solid marble, however, and so he swallowed his bile, lifted his wand, cut through the air, and cast an Abscidere, violently separating the top of the tomb from its base.

The marble cracked irregularly, the top split in two, and then it fell apart. Severus did not allow himself to react to the sight of the corpse, though he took a step back and averted his eyes. He didn't dare look toward the castle, knowing his gaze would automatically be drawn to the Headmistress's Tower. Although he hadn't felt the Dark Lord's presence since he had stepped beyond the Willow's perimeter, Severus knew he must still be nearby, watching him.

The note had simply said to open the tomb and wait, and so Severus waited, and when he felt the air move beside him and heard a hissed laugh, his flesh crawled, but he did not move.

"Very good, Severus, very good indeed!"

As he saw the shroud first ripped down the middle and then torn from the body, Severus tamped down his disgust and Occluded, watching with detachment. The wand, which had been placed beneath the Headmaster's crossed wrists, slid out, floated from the tomb, and disappeared as the Dark Lord caught it in an invisible hand. The Headmaster's left arm rose, startling Severus at first, then he saw that the Dark Lord was removing the ring from the Headmaster's dead hand.

Revulsion filled Severus as he watched the corpse sit up in the tomb and then flop backward over the edge, head, torso, and arms dangling out and facing the castle. The Dark Lord hissed a laugh as he cast one final spell to split the Headmaster's thin robe down the front.

"Come, Severus. I must speak with you, but not here."

Severus assumed that the Dark Lord was returning to the Whomping Willow, and he walked quickly, hoping not to bump into the other wizard. He was himself only the faintest shimmer beneath his Disillusionment Charm, but the Dark Lord was completely invisible. Wishing this all to be over quickly was to wish to be closer to the moment of his death, which was approaching ever more rapidly, but Severus did not care. These minutes were not ones to be lived, only endured.

Avoiding the Whomping Willow's flailing branches, Severus reached out and pressed the knot once more, then hurried into the tunnel, feeling the Dark Lord close behind him.

"Remove the Disillusionment."

Severus obliged, and he felt a warm trickle as removed the charm. Voldemort did not do likewise, however, and Severus continued on to the Shrieking Shack, the invisible presence following with only a faint whisper of robes.

The Shack was as empty as it had been when Severus first arrived. Despite that, the roiling in his gut didn't cease.

"You did well, Severus," the Dark Lord said, "although you did not show the enthusiasm for the task you might have."

"I wished only to serve you, my lord. The pleasure in the moment was yours to take, not mine to steal from you, though I did savour the spectacle and my own small role," Severus replied, bowing his head.

The long silence that followed did nothing for the storm in his stomach, but Severus remained still and unmoving.

"That disgusting, Muggle-loving, shrivelled old cuntrag!"

At that acid invective, the storm in Severus's stomach raged more fiercely, but he did not move, only bracing himself for a Cruciatus. His tension grew as he heard the Dark Lord pace angrily, then the mattress exploded, and Severus closed his eyes and turned his face from flying shreds of ticking, horsehair, and mouse viscera.

Severus waited, but no Crucio came. Instead, the Dark Lord appeared in front of him.

"I should have cut off his dick and stuffed it down his throat," the Dark Lord spat. He was looking at the ring; he had apparently confirmed that the Horcrux in it had been destroyed.

"I find that more enjoyable when the subject is alive to experience it, my lord," Severus replied softly, hoping that the Dark Lord would not ask him to go and defile the corpse more than it already was. He could do it, but the mere thought sickened him.

The Dark Lord chuckled. "You are right, Severus. Dawn will come soon and the corpse will be exposed. A pity the Headmistress will not see it. Did she die in agony? I have heard nothing of her death."

"I have been providing her with sleeping draughts and other calming potions. The one I gave her yesterday contained some additional properties. Her body will be found soon, I imagine," Severus replied.

The Dark Lord frowned. "She was to be dead by teatime."

"I gave it to her then; she said she'd take it before retiring for the night. I did not wish to be present at her death, lest someone's suspicions might be raised too early, my lord, and if I pressed her to take it sooner, I was concerned that she might become contrary and not take it at all. She can be quite headstrong. I know how important it is to you that I be available to drop the wards; I did not want to be in a room somewhere answering questions from Aurors just at the moment of your need. I'm sorry if I misjudged that."

"As long as she is dead, you are Headmaster, and you drop the wards and give me Hogwarts. And Potter."

"When Potter hears of the tomb, he'll come."

"And if he does not cooperate, the Granger girl is still there. Keep an eye on her, Severus."

Severus bowed.

"Return to the castle. Drop the wards when I call you. I will not be patient."

With only the slightest snap, the Dark Lord Disapparated.

Severus let out a shuddering breath, then Apparated to the gates. He stripped off his Death Eater garb, Disillusioned himself, then used his password to open the gates. He avoided looking at the tomb as he hurried across the grounds, heading straight for the dungeons and the safety of his rooms. As soon as his door closed behind him, he felt nausea and bile rising in his throat, and fell to his knees and retched. His stomach had been nearly empty, but his muscles continued contracting painfully as his body tried to purge itself.

He collapsed back against the door and sat there several minutes with his eyes closed, cold sweat beaded on his forehead, then he drew his wand and banished the mess in front of him. He was just gathering the strength to get up and find a glass of water when there was a light knock on the door.

"Severus?"

"I'm..." Severus cleared his throat. "I'm here. Just a moment."

He pushed to his feet. He cast a quick breath-freshening charm, but the bitter taste remained in his mouth.

When he opened the door and saw the pain in Minerva's face, he felt ill again. Before he could say anything, though, she raised her hand to his cheek and said, "Oh, Severus, I am so sorry. So sorry."

"What? What has happened?" Severus hadn't thought that his adrenalin could spike any more than it had, but he felt panic surge through him and barely remembered to close the door behind her.

"Nothing! Nothing more! I am sorry that you had to do that. I saw it. I haven't gone out yet. I'll wait until someone else informs me. But I watched. It must have been very difficult."

"I didn't do it all. Just opening up the . . . just removing . . . I didn't do anything to him," Severus said.

"Even if you had, it wouldn't be your fault. And the body is nothing but an empty shell. But I'm sure it was awful for you."

Severus shrugged one shoulder, displaying a nonchalance he didn't feel. "It had to be done. It seems that it was another test of my loyalty." He sighed. "Come and sit down and I'll tell you everything over some tea."

---

Minerva set down her cup. "I am surprised that he was not angrier about my delayed death."

"So am I, but he wants me fit to help him take Hogwarts. He didn't even Crucio me when he discovered that the ring Horcrux was destroyed. I'm sure that he wanted to." He drank off the last of his tea, then reached for the bottle of nutritional potion that Twiskett had brought with it.

"At least we know what he expects next and where you will be," Minerva replied thoughtfully. "That means that once he calls you . . ."

"I won't be coming back," Severus finished for her.

"Perhaps not until after the toe-rag is dead. But do try. I wish you could drop the wards and not go to him."

"We have discussed that all before. I must go. And when I do, he will know or suspect, and I will leave him in no doubt. I will no longer pretend to serve him. I will do what I have to in order to frustrate and delay him."

Minerva sighed. "I had better leave so I can be in my quarters when the tomb is discovered. It shouldn't be long now."

"Before you go, perhaps you will help me with one last task?" Severus asked.

"What's that?"

Severus pointed to the black robes heaped by the door. "Destroying those."

"You may need them again."

"No. I am never putting them on again, Minerva."

"Then it will be my pleasure."

---

Hagrid had woken Pomona a few minutes before six, pounding on the Head of Hufflepuff's door. She could scarcely get a sensible word from him, and when she did, she used the Floo to go directly to the Headmistress's Office. She was too rattled to wonder at the fact that the Headmistress was up, dressed, and in her office. The two witches went to the window and looked out at the sight that had so disturbed Hagrid. Minerva turned away quickly.

"Cast a charm around the tomb so that others can't see it, then have Filius take a few photographs as evidence for the Ministry," Minerva instructed calmly. "Once Filius has finished . . ." Minerva swallowed and blinked. "Once he has finished, I will restore the Headmaster's dignity. Other than that, we will touch nothing until the Aurors arrive. But before we do any of that, Professor Crouch must check for traps. It is good that Hagrid had the sense not to touch anything."

"How could anyone do this?" Pomona cried.

"We have all witnessed worse atrocities in our lives," Minerva said softly. "This was calculated to be a blow to us, to weaken our resolve. We won't let it. You go now while I send a message to the Ministry. I'll send Poppy to take care of Hagrid..."

"I told him to stand outside the doors and make sure that no one leaves the castle or approaches the grave," Pomona said.

"Good. I'll tell the other staff. Professor MacAirt and Professor Snape will inform the prefects that there has been a disturbance and, until we are certain that the students are in no danger, everyone is to remain in their dormitories. No one is to move freely about the grounds, Pomona, no one. If you see anyone who is, stop them. Only you, Filius, and Robbie have any business being out on the grounds this morning. And no students are to roam the castle. Breakfast will be delayed."

"Are you all right, Minerva?"

"I have to be," she replied. "It's what I must do for Albus and for the school. Go now and get Filius; have him cast a charm to screen the tomb from view. Poppy will join you shortly. Don't allow anyone to approach the grave except Robbie. Filius is only to take photographs and wait for me. I do not want anyone to . . . it's my duty to . . . I wish to take care of the remains myself." Tears glittered in Minerva's eyes.

"Is, um, Professor Crouch nearby?" Pomona asked, trying to be tactful despite the circumstances.

Minerva shook her head. "He said he was going to his quarters. I'll send him to you. Please be quick, Pomona. I don't want others to look out their windows and see. Take the Floo to Filius's rooms. That will be fastest, and under the circumstances, I doubt he'll mind the unannounced arrival. Have him cast a privacy charm immediately. Don't let anyone else see this. Please."

"Of course, Minerva!"

Without further delay, Pomona left, using the Headmistress's Floo. Minerva cast one more glance out the window, then winced and turned away. Whatever she had said to Severus about the corpse being a mere shell, the sight was disturbing, even more now in the daylight than it had been when she had watched from her sitting room window. If Severus had to endure being there while the toe-rag despoiled the grave, then she could endure watching it from afar. She had known that it wouldn't satisfy Riddle to simply take what he wanted and leave. Any man who would do the other things he had done, everything from parricide to mass murder, would feel compelled to violate the dignity of a corpse.

---

Severus sat at Minerva's right as she made her announcement to the school: classes were cancelled for the day owing to the vandalism of the Headmaster's tomb. Aurors had already arrived and would be investigating the incident. There was no danger and no reason for fear, though out of an abundance of caution, students would be confined to their Houses for the day. Staff and prefects would escort everyone from the Great Hall after breakfast, and no one was to leave before that time. Lunch would be served in the common rooms, and an announcement would be made later regarding dinner. Each common room would have a member of the staff present at all times, no student was to go anywhere unaccompanied by a member of staff, and any student caught anywhere else in the castle during the extraordinary curfew would be a candidate for immediate expulsion.

It was her final pronouncement that caused the students to really sit up and take note, Severus thought, but when breakfast arrived, most of the students tucked in with no hesitation, though perhaps with less enthusiasm than usual. Hermione, he saw, only played with her food and didn't participate in the hushed conversations of those around her. She was wearing her floor-length school robe again. He didn't like that particular robe on her; its multiple pleats that began high on the chest made her look shapeless, even somewhat bulky despite the fact that she'd lost weight in recent weeks. Perhaps she was trying to hide that fact. Or she simply liked the robe. It did have an unusual stand-up collar and a fancy Gryffindor crest embroidered directly on the left shoulder, rather than a patch. She was wearing her hair in a loose ponytail that day, held in some kind of a Muggle hairclip. It was looking very shiny and full . . . very soft . . .

Severus averted his eyes from the Gryffindor table and shoved a forkful of eggs in his mouth. They tasted wretched, but he swallowed them and looked over at the Slytherin table. There were whispered conversations over there, too, but fewer disturbed expressions. Even Zabini and his clique appeared unperturbed. Indeed, they were quite expressionless. And they were the only ones at the Slytherin table who were not talking. Severus looked around the room. It seemed they were the only students in the Hall, other than Hermione, who weren't engaged in conversation and speculation. They were eating, almost mechanically, but they were eating, and when Kevin Harper pushed his plate away, most of his breakfast uneaten, Zabini nodded to Daphne Greengrass, who was sitting beside the younger Slytherin. She proceeded to slather a piece of toast with raspberry preserves, cut it into four triangles, take one for herself, then silently offer the others to Harper, who began to nibble a corner.

Severus willed away the lump in his throat and took a sip of tea. What would happen to his House, to his students? Would any of them be alive the next day? Any of them at all, the other students, Hermione, his colleagues, Minerva?

He glanced over at Minerva just as she turned toward Crouch and nodded. Crouch stood and walked down to Gryffindor table, where he stopped and said a few words to Hermione. He continued to the back of the Hall, stopping to speak to a few Gryffindors and Ravenclaws, then he took up position at the doors, relieving Alroy MacAirt to have a hurried breakfast.

It was clear to Severus that the purpose of Minerva's signal and Crouch's trip to the back of the Hall was not only in order to give the Gryffindor Head of House time to eat breakfast. Crouch had given Hermione a message. Severus worried about what they had in mind for her. Perhaps Potter was arriving...Minerva had sent him a Patronus...and they wanted her to explain her theories to the boy. That was a reasonable explanation, given Hermione's work over the last months, but Severus was inexplicably uneasy. He had had the sense in their last few private meetings that there was something that Hermione was keeping herself from saying. He hoped that it was only her fears for his safety that she'd been avoiding, but he felt there was something more.

As the prefects and staff prepared to lead the students from the Hall, first Hufflepuff, then Slytherin, then Ravenclaw, and finally Gryffindor, Severus saw that Crouch had joined the Gryffindors and was standing near Hermione. As he left with Slytherin, he wished he could stay behind and speak to them, but it was pointless.

The rest of the morning went tediously slowly. Two young Aurors questioned him briefly, ones chosen by Shacklebolt and who had obviously been told to do whatever the Headmistress said to do and who still were close enough to their school years to feel uncomfortable in his presence.

Where was he when the tomb was vandalised? He didn't know when the tomb was vandalised, so he couldn't say. Where was he between midnight and six o'clock? In bed in his quarters. Had he noticed anything suspicious on the grounds before he retired for the night? Nothing. Did he know of anyone who might want to vandalise the tomb? He didn't care to speculate on such matters. Did he have any direct knowledge of anyone who expressed the desire to vandalise the tomb? None. Did he know how someone could enter the grounds to vandalise the tomb? The grounds were well warded and the gates protected; perhaps by broom, if they flew high enough.

Lunch in Slytherin House was peculiar. Again, Zabini and his group sat together and were nearly totally silent, and there was a clear distance between Zabini's Slytherins and the rest of the House. It was as though they existed in completely different spaces, neither group acknowledging the existence of the other. Sinistra had joined him in his baby-sitting duties, and he was careful to thank her, and from her smile, he believed that she knew he was thanking her for more than just helping him watch the Slytherins eat their lunch.

At a few minutes past one, he received a message from Poppy saying that she needed to see him immediately. Anticipating an emergency, Severus left his students in Sinistra's hands and went up to the matron's office.

"Nutritional potion?" he asked disbelievingly as she held the bottle out to him.

"If I know anything, it's that you will need your strength in the coming hours. Drink up, Severus! Then I want to cast some diagnostics on you."

Severus shook his head, but humoured the witch. It gave him something to do while waiting for his summons.

Five minutes later, Severus asked, "What was that last one? I didn't recognise it." It had felt more invasive somehow.

"Just another diagnostic, checking your magical reserves," Poppy said briskly.

"You've not cast it before." He frowned.

"It's something Minerva asked me to do. Just one more precaution, that's all. And you're in better shape than you were a month ago. You have a ways to go, but I'm pleased."

Severus restrained himself from repeating his usual litany about death. "Thank you for your care, Madam Pomfrey."

Poppy smiled at him. "You'll need to take a holiday when this is all over, Severus. Eat, sleep, relax, get waited on hand and foot. It'll be good for you."

Severus looked at her and shook his head slightly. "Good bye, Poppy," he said softly.

After he left her office, Poppy picked up a small object from her desk, put it in her pocket, and left the infirmary.

---

The afternoon wore on. Minerva popped through his Floo at around three to tell him that the tomb had been restored, Gareth was back, several Order members had arrived, including Harry, Ron, and Luna, and the two Aurors had returned to the Ministry. Horace Slughorn had answered her call, as well, and would be helping with the defence of the castle.

"I hope he will look after my House, too," Severus said. "I've done so little for them . . . so little, and they're in so much danger, all of them, every one, and so young. Lock them up, Minerva. Don't let them make foolish mistakes that, if they live, they will live to regret. Even Goyle...he may never be a good human being, but he doesn't have to fall into such evil so young."

"We will do all we can for them, Severus. I promise."

"And Miss Granger . . . I hope you have no dangerous plans for her. She may feel loyalty toward Potter, but if she stands with him, she'll be a prime target. I know that she won't sit by and do nothing, and you wouldn't be able to make her, but I hope you might be able to keep her from being in too much danger."

"I promise you, Severus, she will not be with Potter during the battle. I hope that she'll escape being in any direct danger, although it's impossible to predict what will happen. And you take care of yourself." Tears suddenly sprung to her eyes. "Ah, Severus, I wish I could stay with you. I worry that the next time I look for you, you'll be gone. I don't want you to go, Severus."

"Shh, shh, Minerva. It will be a few hours yet, I am sure. We may even be together when he calls me the last time."

"I am so sorry, Severus, so sorry for everything, everything you've had to do. This morning, especially. I wish I could tell you not to go back to him." Tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I would have to go anyway," he replied.

"I know. And I don't want to make it harder for you." She wiped at her tears with the back of her hand

"Come here," Severus said softly, and he hugged her, blinking back his own tears and feeling better for the comfort he was giving her. "We probably won't have time to say good-bye later, so I'll say it now. Good bye, Minerva McGonagall. You have been one of the best friends I have ever had, and I couldn't have wished for better."

"No, no, don't say that, Severus," Minerva said, pushing out of his embrace and scrubbing at her tears. "I mean, I don't want to say good-bye. I still hope you'll return to us. And that you will forgive me for everything."

"And you shouldn't say that. There's nothing you need to be forgiven for, Minerva. But if there were," Severus added with a crooked grin, "I'd learn how to forgive for your sake. All right?"

Minerva gave a shaky chuckle. "That's good. Something else for you to live for, too. I wish I could stay, but I have to get back to my office. If you're still here after dinner, join me there. Dinner will be in the Great Hall, but the curfew will still be in place."

---

Word came of the attack on the Ministry. Severus waited for his summons. At six o'clock, it still hadn't come, and he accompanied his Slytherins to the Great Hall. Minerva made a brief announcement regarding the attack on the Ministry and explained that the extraordinary curfew was extended. Immediately after dinner, everyone was to return to their dormitories and remain there.

Severus couldn't eat and made no pretense of trying. When dinner ended and the Gryffindors left with Vector and Lupin, Severus let Slughorn and Sinistra lead the Slytherins to the dungeons. He would be called soon; he did not want to be with students when he was forced to betray them.

---

Severus was standing in the Headmistress's Office with Minerva and Robbie watching as a group of Ministry officials walked up to the castle when his Mark began an insistent burn.

"It is time," Severus said, his voice low.

"Do what you must," Minerva said, then turned to the other wizard. "Robbie, quickly."

Robbie nodded. "Good luck, Severus. We have all placed our hope in you; you can place your hope in us." With that, the wizard turned abruptly and left.

Severus drew his wand hesitantly, ignoring the burn.

"Do you want me to do it?" Minerva asked.

He shook his head, she passed him control of the wards, and a few moments later, the Anti-Apparition wards were down.

"Good bye, Minerva."

"Good luck." But she spoke to an empty room.

---

"Severus! You have graced us with your presence!" The Dark Lord's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"I Disapparated as soon as I lowered the wards," Severus replied. He would delay, but he would no longer grovel.

Voldemort bared his teeth in anger. "Do you know what this is?" he shouted.

Severus gazed placidly at the wand the Dark Lord held up in front of him. "It appears to be a stick. Perhaps a wand. Possibly the wand that was interred with the late Headmaster?"

"It might as well be a stick," Voldemort spat. "It is useless! Did you know this, Snape?"

Severus shrugged. "You wished access to the grave. I gave you the access. I assumed you wanted what you stole. Who was I to direct you otherwise?"

"You insolent worm...Crucio!"

Severus grimaced and fell to his knees with a grunt. As the pain continued, unrelenting, he lay on his side, every nerve screaming. Then it ended.

"Did Dumbledore have another wand?" the Dark Lord demanded.

"The one in your hands," Severus said with a gasp, "was one he acquired in nineteen forty-five, just as I told you. He had another. Wherever it is, I doubt you'll find it, and it wouldn't do you any good, anyway."

"You knew of this! This deception! It was a deception!"

"I gave you what you wished," Severus said, struggling to his feet. Other than the Dark Lord, there were seven Death Eaters in the small room, one of whom was certainly Pettigrew, and Nagini lay coiled beside her master. The air felt close, warm, and fetid, and seemed to vibrate with magical energy, much of it rolling off of the Dark Lord in waves of anger.

"And the McGonagall witch?! She lives! She has been seen; she is in control of the school!"

"She came to trust me, as I have said before, and I lowered the wards. I do not know when they will be raised again. Lowering them is easier than raising them," he lied, "though the Headmistress may cast some temporary Anti-Apparition jinxes on specific parts of the castle." Such as Slytherin House.

"Why is she not dead?" Voldemort hissed.

"She didn't take any poison potion. As I say, she is a stubborn witch." Severus shrugged, as though it was hardly a matter of any concern.

There was a crack of Apparition, then the door opened and a large, masked Death Eater entered and bowed to his master.

"We have confirmed that we can Apparate onto the grounds and Disapparate from them with ease. As you instructed, I left my crew there with the maggot. They are well hidden and await your arrival, my lord."

The maggot, Malfoy; Severus puzzled for a moment, wondering why they would have brought Malfoy to the grounds, then decided it was too late in life for an unsolved puzzle, and he put it out of his mind.

"Return. Continue to watch the castle. I will join you shortly. You, you, and you, go with him. Now! Did I tell you to dawdle?" the Dark Lord shouted.

The four Death Eaters Disapparated with a loud crack. The odds were still against him, but he would do what he could. He might at least be able to injure the toe-rag's pride before he died.

"You grew attached to the witch," Voldemort said, turning back to him. "I warned you against that, Severus. I cannot afford to have such weakness in my closest followers. You have disappointed me, and not only will you lose your rewards, you will be punished."

"I am attached to the witch," Severus admitted, wondering how long he could delay the Dark Lord and what damage he could do. He let his wand slip from his sleeve into his right hand. "In fact, I can say that I love her." He didn't wait for the toe-rag's outrage before continuing. "And I serve her, just as I served Dumbledore before her. I still serve Albus Dumbledore. I..."

Severus collapsed on the floor, writhing in pain. Pain. He was still alive. The pain subsided and his vision cleared. He struggled to his knees and then to his feet.

"That old fool..." the Dark Lord began.

"That old fool was like a father to me. You have been nothing but an albatross to me."

"You betray me?" There was still a note of disbelief in his voice.

"I have betrayed you for years," Severus said. "It was my reason for living."

The Dark Lord's face screwed up in fury. "And it will be your death! Nagini!"

As the Dark Lord called his snake's name, Severus slid his wand the rest of the way into his hand and raised it. Before he could cast a spell, the other wizard saw him.

"Expelliarmus!"

Though Severus tried to maintain hold on his wand, it flew from his fingers and landed with a rattle on the other side of the room, then rolled to a stop.

"Strike!"

Nagini, heavy and sleepy, raised her head. She moved toward him, and Severus took one step back, but received a shove from behind. Pettigrew, the rat.

Despite the hopelessness of it, as Nagini drew back her head then darted forward to bite him, Severus raised his right arm and deflected her beneath her jaw, but the move unbalanced him, and he fell to one knee. Voldemort screamed at the snake again, and she reared up, readying for another strike, her jaws open, her venomous fangs shining.

The snake's head lunged for his throat, and in that moment, there was a snick. Severus struck with his left hand, driving a blade into the underside of the snake's neck as he twisted away. Unfortunately, though he pierced her skin and drew blood, his blow did not stop her bite, and he let out a strangled cry as Nagini's jaws closed on his right shoulder, her top fangs easily penetrating his layers of clothing. As she injected her venom into him, Severus felt the flick knife torn from his grasp by another Expelliarmus from the Dark Lord, then there was darkness and unendurable pain as the Cruciatus seemed to come at him from every direction. When it ended, he opened his eyes and saw through blurred vision that the Dark Lord had healed the cut on his precious familiar and was now stroking her head and crooning in Parseltongue. It made Severus want to laugh, but he couldn't seem to catch his breath. He heard the Dark Wizard give one more command to strike, and he felt Nagini's jaws close around his right arm, both upper and lower fangs injecting their toxins into his flesh this time.

Severus tried to swallow, but it seemed his body did not want to obey him, and his saliva dribbled from the corner of his mouth. Just as he had told Minerva. No death without indignity.

He tried to pay attention to what was happening, but his wounds hurt, breathing was becoming more and more difficult, and there was something wrong with his vision. He couldn't seem to open his eyes all the way and what he saw was distorted and blurry. He did hear that Pettigrew was to amputate his limbs one at a time and feed them to the snake while he still lived. He heard something about his head on a pike. The rest of his body would be saved "for later."

Although his lungs burned, it seemed that the room was becoming increasingly cold, but he did not shiver. He heard the sounds of multiple Disapparitions and steeled himself for Pettigrew's merciless attentions, hoping to pass out before the rat began cutting off his arms or legs.

More pain, confusion, noise, shouting, bright light . . . hallucination, delusion, or death. He tried to blink. Severus hoped for hallucination and not death, for a precious face appeared above him, whispering words about breathing and calmness. He tried to smile. His breathing felt easier, though the pain and burning were there still and his vision was disturbed. But perhaps it was death after all, because he thought he heard another familiar voice, yet, strangely, he still felt pain.

It was even colder now, and his limbs were being stripped. Pettigrew would feed them to the snake. And there was more pain as something jabbed into his left arm. Cutting him to pieces while he lived. The pain in his right arm grew sharper then disappeared entirely.

Severus tried to blink away the double vision. Hermione's face and another Hermione. And the glimpse of another familiar face, also doubled. Hallucination. Surely hallucination. And death not far off. But not a bad way to die, believing that Hermione's arms were holding him, that his head was in her lap, that his breath came easier. She would be glad if she knew his hallucination of her made his death easier. A brain holiday with Hermione.

His head lolled back. Gentle fingers stroked his jaw. He saw his vision of Death again. A friendly, blue-eyed Death. Death in a field of shining stars. It would be good to sleep. To rest. To join death finally, after such a long wait. With warmth surrounding him, Severus closed his eyes and felt someone sigh for him.