Chapter Twenty-One: Under the windings of the sea

Chapter Twenty-One: Under the windings of the sea

20 – 21 April 1998

Severus fought the urge to scratch his left arm. His Mark was itching. He had come to believe that it itched whenever the Dark Lord was calling others to his side but not him. It had itched all morning, it seemed. After Minerva had woken him, rubbed the potion into his back, and dosed him with the others, he had risen and dressed. She had brought his clothing to him the night before, his underwear discreetly folded between his shirt and his trousers. Her house-elf had cleaned and polished his boots, and fully dressed, Severus felt more like himself than he had since the raid. Minerva hadn't brought him his teaching robes, but that didn't bother him. He had sufficient layers, and his long, close-fitting jacket, which buttoned almost to his neck, more a frockcoat than a suit jacket, gave him a peculiar but familiar sense of security.

He and Minerva had agreed that he would attend dinner in the Great Hall that evening and begin teaching the next day. She had told him that if he wanted to wait until Wednesday to return to teaching, he could, but he felt well enough to be bored now, and when he was bored, he could only think of the Dark Lord, Potter, and whether he would survive even to see the Dark Lord's attack. He wished that he could live long enough to know whether Potter prevailed, but he knew that would not happen. He had a growing conviction that the Dark Lord would discover his treachery and kill him before then. The Dark Lord would wait until he had access to the Hogwarts grounds, though, Severus was fairly sure of that.

After breakfast, Severus brought two of the journals out to the sitting room to read. Minerva and Poppy had both declared him well enough not to require a babysitter that day...though they hadn't stated it in precisely those terms...and so he was alone in the suite. Minerva had told him that if he wanted anything to eat or drink, he could either call Blampa or use the tiny kitchen that she had installed that summer.

It looked to him as though Minerva had used part of the guest room to create the kitchen, which could hardly be called that, although there was a small cooktop, he discovered when he explored it, a cool cupboard with milk, and a supply of teas, biscuits, and the like. He had no kitchen in his suite, though he knew that the other Heads of House had one, but he had never felt the lack of it. He also had no study, another standard part of the Heads' quarters, only a small nook with a one-drawer desk. When he had become Head of House, he had refused Slughorn's lavish suite, and Albus had not protested. Each year, Albus would ask everyone on the staff to submit any requests they might have for changes to their rooms, and every year, Severus would not request any. The summer before his first full year of teaching, Albus had shown up and created the Charmed window in his bedroom, telling Severus that austerity had its place, but he needed to look out on the world, as well. Albus made no further unrequested alterations to the Slytherin's rooms until the summer following Potter's first year, when Albus had insisted on improving his bathroom. Severus had allowed that, but had emphasised that he wanted no frills. He could not allow himself to become soft.

Severus picked up the Potions journal and flipped through it. He had already read everything that had interested him, so he turned to the Arithmancy journal Gareth had brought him. He scanned the table of contents and felt his eyes glaze over. It was a difficult and complex discipline, and he could understand its attraction for Hermione, but it held none for him. He remembered the Transfiguration journal he had been looking at. It hadn't been his favourite subject when he was a student, but he had been more than competent at it. There had been a couple of articles in that journal which had seemed interesting, though he had been in no state to concentrate on them before.

Back in the bedroom, he looked for the Transfiguration journal. He found one, but it wasn't the same one he had been reading before. Crouch or Minerva must have taken it back. Severus was slightly disappointed, since he had hoped to read the article on internal Transfiguration now that he was feeling better.

At ten-thirty, Minerva came upstairs, asked him if he needed anything, then left again. Severus began to anticipate Hermione's visit, and the minutes seemed to drag until there was a knock on the door just after eleven. He rose and opened the door.

Hermione smiled up at him. "You look very well this morning, Professor!"

Severus nodded once. "My recovery is proceeding."

"I'm glad."

The two sat in the matching armchairs across from one another.

"How was your morning?" Hermione asked.

"Acceptable, although I believe that I have exhausted the reading material that the Headmistress provided," Severus replied, gesturing toward the journals on the coffee table between them.

"You were reading an Arithmancy journal?" Hermione asked, spotting the cover peeking out from beneath the others.

"No. I did look at it, but it did not hold my attention," Severus said.

Hermione leaned forward and looked at the others. "Transfiguration and Potions." She grinned at him. "Not precisely light reading, but still a small holiday for the brain."

"Indeed," Severus agreed with a nod. "There was a Transfiguration article I had been reading a couple of days ago, but it's in a different journal. It was rather interesting, but now I suppose I shall forever remain in suspense."

Hermione laughed. "What a terrible state to be in! I am sure I would perish if that were to happen to me."

The corner of Severus's mouth twitched a slight smile. "I do believe I shall survive."

"What was it about?"

"Internal Transfiguration," Severus said, not admitting that he had not heard of the concept before seeing the article.

"Oh! Yes, that is interesting," Hermione agreed. "Professor MacAirt has me reading something about the theory, although I haven't attempted it. He said it requires more preparation than we have the time for now. Once everything is all over, though, that will be one of the first things he teaches me."

"Yes, I understand that it is essential in becoming a successful Animagus," Severus replied.

"You have to have a very strong sense of the Transfiguration that you wish to achieve, your own magic, and your physical body, so that is why it is an important step in becoming an Animagus. I only have a theoretical understanding of it, but I do not believe it will be terribly difficult," Hermione said confidently.

"Isn't it reputed to be the most difficult Transfiguration to perform?" Severus asked, remembering that from the introductory paragraphs of the article.

"Well, it is, but I've always been very good at Transfiguration," Hermione replied. "I am sure that once I have gone through the preparatory exercises with Professor MacAirt, I'll be able to do it easily."

Severus felt like smiling. She was so confident in her abilities that it was . . . not amusing, precisely, but something similar.

"What is your current understanding of internal Transfiguration?" Severus asked, as though he was quizzing her.

"It is a method of using one's magic internally to perform the desired Transfiguration on a specific body part. One focusses on one's magic so that it flows solely internally, not acting outside the body at all. That is the first difficult step to master. The second is the Transfiguration itself, which alters the body part from the inside out, and the cells . . . Transfigure themselves. I must admit that I don't completely understand that, but it has something to do with the caster's magic working from inside the cells rather than forcing the change from the outside in the way that an ordinary Transfiguration does."

Severus nodded. "A good explanation. And how is that related to becoming an Animagus?"

"When a person becomes an Animagus, the focus of her magic is the same as it is when performing an internal Transfiguration, but rather than the body part being Transfigured into something other than what it is...a hand becoming a hoof, for example...the entire body is affected. In addition, the Animagus transformation is an expression of a form that lies within the Animagus and each person has only one form, with a few very, very rare exceptions. Theoretically, with an internal Transfiguration, I could change my foot into a claw, a fin, a hoof, or anything else...organic and animal, of course. It doesn't even have to be homologous. I could Transfigure my hand into a tail, if I wished. I believe that the only thing that is impossible to do is to change a limb into a head, at least one with a working brain. Rather a revolting thought either way," Hermione said, lifting her lip in disgust.

"You only speak of Transfiguring limbs," Severus said. "Could you Transfigure your head or torso?"

"Yes, theoretically, although it is not at all recommended, since doing it to the head could prevent you from ever reversing the Transfiguration if you affected the brain, and doing it to the torso could kill you because of all of the vital organs. I don't believe that anyone performs the exercise on anything other than the hands and feet, or possibly the arms and legs. That's another difference between an internal Transfiguration and an Animagus transformation. If performed properly, the Animagus retains its human capabilities, including, of course, the ability to return to their ordinary form. It is a natural Transfiguration that is an expression of a form that lies within the Animagus, and so there is no danger in Transfiguring the head or other vital organs. Unless, of course," Hermione added, "someone is not properly prepared. That's when they end up in St. Mungo's. Professor MacAirt says that what they are really doing is an imperfect internal Transfiguration and not an Animagus transformation, probably because they think they want to be a specific animal, and it doesn't work that way."

"It's surprising the Pettigrew managed it," Severus said with a sneer. "A pity he didn't become trapped in some other form."

"That would probably be quite terrible," Hermione replied, "but it certainly would have averted a good many tragedies. Remus said that James and Sirius helped him so that he could become an Animagus with them."

"And he betrayed them both, like the rat he is," Severus said.

"Crookshanks knew that there was something wrong with him. We should have paid attention."

"Crookshanks? That is your cat?" Severus asked, trying to remember.

"He is part Kneazle."

"A wise animal," Severus said with a nod.

"I left him with Mrs Figg at the end of the summer. I didn't know what we would be doing this year, and I thought it was possible that we wouldn't return to Hogwarts. I think he is as safe there as he would be anywhere."

"And your parents? I understand they are in hiding," Severus said.

Hermione nodded. "But they don't realise it." She sighed. "I'd rather not discuss it."

"It is almost time for lunch in any case. This has been an enjoyable brain holiday, however, Hermione."

She smiled. "I enjoyed it, too. Should I come back this evening?"

"I will be attending dinner this evening and then returning to my own rooms," Severus said, a peculiar hollow feeling in his gut.

"All right," Hermione said. "I am glad you are feeling so much better. I'll see you in the Headmistress's library, then?"

"Undoubtedly," Severus replied as he rose to open the door for Hermione.

"I hope you have a good afternoon."

"The same to you," Severus said.

Severus settled back down in an armchair, paging through the Potions journal and reading the letters to the editor. He assumed that Minerva's Hogwarts elf would bring him lunch and that she might even join him. A few minutes later, though, there was a brief knock at the door, which alerted Severus that it was neither Minerva nor Crouch, as either of them would just enter. Immediately after the knock, the door opened, and McGonagall stepped through.

"Snape," he said with a nod.

"McGonagall." Severus returned to reading the letters to the editor.

"It's lunchtime. I thought I would join you."

Severus raised his eyes from his reading and grunted.

"I'll call Blampa, then," Gareth said, accepting the grunt as an acknowledgment. "Anything in particular you would like?"

"No."

Gareth called Minerva's house-elf and asked her to bring them both lunch, whatever was being served in the Great Hall, then sat down to wait. A few minutes later, lunch appeared on the small dining table across the room.

Gareth put down the Arithmancy journal he had been perusing and went over to the table.

"Coming, Snape?" he asked as he sat down.

"I am not hungry."

"You should still eat." Gareth took a bite of his sandwich and looked over at Severus. "You're practically skeletal. I'm surprised your body could take the beating you received the other night."

Severus ignored him.

"If you don't eat, Minerva will know, and Poppy. She'll be up after lunch to treat your back. They might want to keep you here another day. Force nutritional potion down your throat. You don't want to challenge those two witches."

Severus got up and sat down across from Gareth. Potato and leek soup. He ate without looking up from the bowl then pushed back from the table. Gareth shoved a platter under his nose.

"Have a sandwich, Snape."

Severus glared at Gareth. Gareth shrugged and put the plate of sandwiches down next to Severus.

Severus looked at the sandwiches. There was a half of an egg and olive sandwich left, a half of a chicken sandwich, one tuna sandwich, and one cheese and mixed pickle. No roast beef. He picked up the half of the chicken sandwich.

"What was that sigh for?" Gareth asked.

"I did not sigh," Severus replied, pulling back one of the slices of bread to look at the chicken.

"Something wrong with the sandwich?"

Severus shook his head and took a reluctant bite, chewing slowly. Gareth poured him a glass of apple juice and handed it to him, setting it down on the table when Snape didn't take it.

"Would you prefer pumpkin juice? There's a pitcher of that."

Severus shook his head. He set his sandwich down, took it apart, pulled out his wand, and cast a spell, removing half of the mayonnaise, then carefully reassembled it. He bit into it. Marginally better.

"Would you like a different sandwich? There's egg and..."

"I saw what was available, McGonagall."

"Did you want something different?"

Severus put down the sandwich and took a swallow of apple juice. "No." He looked at the platter. "Was there a roast beef sandwich?" he asked, thinking it would be just like McGonagall to eat the best sandwich himself.

"No. I took half of the chicken and half of the egg and olive, leaving the other halves for you in case you liked them. Did you want roast beef?"

Severus didn't say anything. He just picked up his sandwich and took another bite. His mouth felt dry as he tried to chew it.

"Blampa!" Gareth called.

The house-elf popped in a moment later. "Yes, Master Gareth?" She gave him a toothy smile.

"Lunch was very good, Blampa, but we would like roast beef sandwiches on . . ." Gareth looked over at Snape, trying to imagine his preferences. "On rye bread. Bring a range of condiments on the side, please."

"Happy to serve!" Blampa said, popping away again.

"You didn't need to order anything else," Severus said, but he put down the chicken sandwich in anticipation of the roast beef.

"No, but it sounded good to me, too."

When two roast beef sandwiches arrived, Severus took an entire sandwich and slathered it heavily with horseradish on one side, then flipped it over and put mustard on the other side. Gareth picked up a half sandwich and added a little horseradish to it.

Gareth ate the rest of his meal quietly, watching as Severus ate almost the entire roast beef sandwich.

"More soup?" Gareth asked.

Severus shook his head.

"Juice?"

Severus shook his head again.

"Time for tea, then," Gareth said, reaching for the teapot and pouring two cups. "Milk or sugar?"

Severus took the tea. "No."

Gareth ate a chocolate biscuit.

"There have been no explosions in the Potions classroom," Gareth said. "And I haven't heard that anyone has been poisoned or anything else, either."

"There is still the afternoon," Severus said flatly.

Gareth laughed.

Severus looked over at Gareth. "You are wearing your Graphornhide tunic."

"I am. I have been demonstrating it and the gauntlets to the students. They have found it quite amusing. Generally, anyway."

"Generally?"

"I told the students what kinds of spells they could cast...Stinging Hexes, ticklers, light jinxes, and such...and warned them not to cast them too strongly, but one of the Ravenclaws thought that it would be funny to send a more strongly cast Stinging Hex. It rebounded. The girl was not amused. In another class, a Slytherin named Goyle tried a Stunner, which I had explicitly told them not to cast. Graphornhide is quite good at absorbing and deflecting spells, depending on the type, but I don't like to stretch its capabilities simply for the sake of practice, so I countered the spell and then knocked him on his arse with a Stunner of my own. Only knocked him out for a few seconds, but he was unhappy."

"That was not a prudent move on your part, although I understand why you did it. Goyle is not very bright, but he has a mean streak and his family is devoted to the Dark Lord."

Gareth shrugged. "Although it is possible that he will try to attack me here in Hogwarts, it is not likely, and when I am not here, I am unreachable."

Severus snorted. "If the Dark Lord wants to find you, you are not unreachable."

"My mother has been for years." He chewed his biscuit and looked at Severus appraisingly. "You are loyal to Aunt Minerva."

Severus glared at him. "Are you questioning that?"

"No, just . . . thinking out loud, I suppose. Have you ever heard of Thousand Year Wards?"

"Heard of, yes." Believed in, no.

"Where we are, there are Thousand Year Wards. Even Vol– even Riddle cannot break them, even if he were to have the slightest idea where to look. And even knowing the approximate location, he could never find the island. It's unplottable and undetectable. Without any maintenance, after several centuries, the wards might begin to disintegrate, but you and I and he will all be long gone. Dust to dust."

"Are there others there on the island?" Severus asked curiously.

"Mother lived there alone with her house-elf until I joined her last January," Gareth said.

Severus nodded, remembering what he had said about his mother having become peculiar. "Does your brother visit?"

"He did visit. Things have changed, as you know," Gareth said. "Well, this has been pleasant, Snape, but time for me to entertain another class! Perhaps I will see you later."

Severus nodded and watched McGonagall leave. He had the sense that he would not see the younger wizard again, not unless he saw him in the Great Hall for dinner that evening. Time was growing short. He envied McGonagall his island, isolated and safe. The Dark Lord could sweep through the wizarding world, and that little island would remain a haven for whomever was there. He would tell Minerva that she should join them, but he knew that she would refuse. Others had gone into hiding in the last year or two, though he doubted that any of them were hiding anywhere as secure as the island sounded to be. He didn't believe in the Thousand Year Wards, but even ordinarily warded, if the island was unplottable and undetectable, it would be safe for them. If the Dark Lord were victorious and Minerva survived, he hoped that she would go live there and not stay and try to fight him. She would only suffer, and that thought made Severus ill.

---

At dinner, Severus behaved as though he hadn't been absent for the past three days, striding up the length of the Great Hall, a slight sneer on his face. He took his place beside Minerva and ate as he usually did, which wasn't very much. As dessert appeared on the tables, he grimaced, but was able to keep himself from grabbing his left arm, although it did jerk as his Mark burned.

Under his breath, Severus said, "Minerva, I am being called. I have to leave within the next half hour or he will be angry."

"Again? And on a weekday?" Minerva asked, trying to hide her alarm. Severus was almost never summoned during the week.

"I must go," Severus said.

"Come to me as soon as you return, regardless of your state," Minerva said. "I will worry until you do."

Severus nodded. His Mark had ceased burning, but he knew it would begin again in fifteen minutes if he didn't appear, and then again fifteen minutes later, and then it wouldn't stop until he arrived at the Dark Lord's side. He knew that the Dark Lord regularly tormented Lucius in Azkaban by activating his Dark Mark. Whenever he was bored and had tired of abusing those nearer at hand, he would begin to summon Lucius, who, of course, was powerless to respond or to end the burning. The Dark Lord had become particularly vindictive after Narcissa and Draco vanished without a trace. Even Bella, his favourite, had suffered. He did not believe that Bella knew anything about it, but he was angry that she hadn't and that she had allowed her sister to disappear right out from under her nose.

"You know what you will tell him about the weekend? And your absence from teaching?"

"Yes. The usual, that I spent the weekend alone in my rooms, that when I wasn't at meals on Saturday, you checked on me and had Madam Pomfrey provide treatment, except that I will add that she insisted that I not teach today."

"But how did you return?" Minerva asked. "You don't want him searching you for Portkeys in the future."

"No. If he asks, I will tell him that I woke in the middle of the night and Apparated to the gates. He has no idea I was too injured to Disapparate."

Minerva nodded. "You ought to go now."

Severus stood and left the Great Hall just as he had entered it. He deliberately avoided looking at the Gryffindor table, not wanting to see any worry on Hermione's face. Minerva masked her expression well in public; Hermione did not, at least not to his eye. He hoped that the Dark Lord was in what passed as a good mood for the megalomaniac; he did not think he could withstand even a Crucio very well that night.

Two hours later, a weary Severus stepped through the door to the Headmistress's Office. Minerva was standing in front of her desk. There was a wizard standing at the window, though not the one he had expected to see.

"Severus! Are you all right?" Minerva asked.

He nodded shortly, but sank into one of the chairs by the fireplace. Remaining upright did not seem an option at that moment.

"Where's Crouch?" Severus asked.

"There was an altercation. He and MacAirt are dealing with it."

"Were Slytherins involved?"

"Yes, but we can talk about it later. I didn't expect you back this soon."

"He did a lot of raging but little pontificating." He took a glass of water that Gareth handed him. His hand shook, but he managed to drink without spilling it on himself. Gareth took the glass from him when he was done. "And only a little punishing."

"I will excuse myself," Gareth said.

"You may stay if Severus doesn't mind," Minerva said.

Severus shrugged one shoulder. "There are some matters touching on the special items," Severus said.

"He is aware of them," Minerva said.

Severus looked up at Minerva. "You are not as . . . secretive as Dumbledore was. I do not know if that is a good thing or not."

"I am not Albus," Minerva replied. "There are times when I require assistance. I am still secretive, as you put it."

"Mm." Severus did not care to discuss it. He wanted to take his potion, have a bath, and go to bed. "As I said, the Dark Lord was angry. After the Cup was stolen from the Gringotts vault...a most unsubtle theft. When stealing a wizard's Horcrux, it is probably best not to wreak public havoc in the process. After it was stolen, he decided to gather the others and hide them in new locations. I had thought that the locket was at the Black house because it had been given to one of them to guard, perhaps to Regulus. Apparently not. Regulus became disenchanted with the Dark Lord and stole it...I do not know how...and substituted a copy for it. I also do not know how the Dark Lord knows that Regulus stole it, but he does. He wants me to kidnap Kreacher and bring him to him so that he can find out what the house-elf knows about it. He also has directed me to search the Black house for it."

"But isn't the house protected by the Fidelius?" Gareth asked. "How does he know about it?"

"The Black family and others are perfectly aware that there was a family house, and they have not forgotten what neighbourhood it's in, but the precise location is masked by the Fidelius. Even if they were able to remember the address, they wouldn't be able to see it. They also know it was inherited by Potter," Severus explained impatiently. "But that is not all. He wants me to go to the Room of Requirement and find the diadem for him. I claimed to have no knowledge of the Room of Requirement, and he didn't believe me at first, but then I convinced him that I now understood how Potter's group could meet in secret when Umbridge was here. As you can see, I have a problem."

"We have a problem, Severus," Minerva replied.

"Hmmpf. We." Severus took in a breath. They were not the ones who would have to respond to the Dark Lord's summons and bear his punishment for failure. "That is not the end, however. He is going to attack Azkaban to liberate the incarcerated Death Eaters. He is planning the attack on Hogwarts, and he needs every single Death Eater he can gather. He wants me to brew a poison potion that one of the guards can smuggle into the prison and poison the other guards with. You know that there are safeguards to keep anyone from bringing in things like that, so it would have to be one that was undetectable."

"That is a more difficult problem. Do you know what guard will be doing it?"

"No. It's either someone who doesn't bear the Mark but is loyal to him, someone under Imperius, or someone on whom he is placing unbearable pressure. A threat to his family or something of the sort. It really doesn't matter to me." Severus looked up at Minerva. "I have had to kill, you know that, kill victims of the Dark Lord. But that has always been under other circumstances, when I was there and it seemed better that I kill them fast than someone else kill them slowly, and when refusal to participate would reveal me as a traitor. But this is different. I cannot brew a potion that will kill several wizards who are only doing their jobs, who happen to have the wrong duty shift, and then free dangerous Death Eaters in the process, Death Eaters who will kill others. I simply can't."

"But you cannot compromise your position yet, Severus."

"Why does it have to be a deadly potion?" Gareth asked. "Couldn't you say that the only way to create a potion that wouldn't be detectable would be to make it nonlethal?"

Severus thought a moment. "I could, although that would still leave them vulnerable to being murdered as they lay incapacitated. Hardly much better. And there is still the question of the prison break itself. Freeing more Death Eaters will make the final confrontation more violent when it comes."

"When does he want the potion?" Minerva asked.

"He is impatient. He wants it in a week."

"A week? That's hardly any time at all."

"I tried to explain that, but he wasn't listening, and I was only punished for my efforts," Severus said. "He wants me to begin looking for the diadem immediately, and he wants Kreacher just as quickly."

"Kreacher is easily dealt with. It is hard to kidnap a house-elf. As much as I do not want you to be punished for your incompetence, you could say he got away and apparently went to Harry."

Severus put his head in his hands. "There will be too many things going wrong for me all at once. He will see through it. And the diadem..."

"We still have it. You will simply have to return it to him as it is. He will be angry, but you will have obeyed him," Minerva said. "His punishment may be no less, since he will see that it was destroyed, but at least it will look as though you tried."

Severus nodded. "I should actually find it in the Room of Requirement again, ruined as it is. It will be much easier to convince him when he looks into my memories if that memory is completely authentic. I will remove any other memories of the Room of Requirement and the diadem before I fetch it so that there will be no strands of memory tying the new memory to the old ones. It should be convincing, although as you say, he will be furious."

Gareth had been quiet for a while, but now he spoke up. "Why not let him capture Kreacher? I know that it would be handing him over to possible torture, but if Harry is his master now, couldn't we get Harry to tell him to pretend allegiance to Bellatrix? We could tell Kreacher precisely what to say. Then Severus could say that he needs to return Kreacher to Hogwarts so as not to arouse any suspicions."

"I like that idea," Minerva said.

"If we can get Potter to do it, and if Kreacher is reliable, and if Bella doesn't decide she wants to keep him herself anyway...there are many variables," Severus said flatly. "If we do this, Kreacher will know that I am working against the Dark Lord even if all I do is kidnap him and bring him to the Dark Lord. He could betray us all. And there is no guarantee that once he was there, even if he cooperated with us, he wouldn't be tortured just because it would please Bella to do so...or the Dark Lord."

"Harry will simply have to exercise his binding. Although I would prefer that Kreacher cooperate of his own free will, it will be safer for us if Harry orders him through the binding. And as much as I dislike the thought of Kreacher or anyone else being tortured, we have to remind ourselves of how much worse it will be if the toe-rag succeeds," Minerva said.

"What story will he tell?" Severus asked wearily.

"Something as close to the truth as possible," Minerva replied. "Possibly everything except for the fact that he told Harry about the locket. And Kreacher did tell Harry that Regulus stole it. He was with Regulus when he did it. We didn't tell you because that part was nothing you needed to know and was just more for you to have to hide from the toe-rag."

Severus sighed, but then thought a moment. "I think that when I return him to Hogwarts, we should kill him...not literally, but I can tell the Dark Lord that I poisoned him so that he couldn't reveal anything to anyone. Have his body found, then he can go live at Order headquarters."

"How would we have his body found if he isn't dead?" Minerva asked.

"You are the mistress of Transfiguration. Surely you can do something that will withstand a superficial examination."

"It would have to be a very superficial examination, Severus," Minerva said. "That is not as simple as Transfiguring an actual corpse into something else. I don't think I'm capable of it."

"It is quite possible that the Dark Lord will ask me to kill him, anyway, even if I tell him I should return him to Hogwarts. People go missing all of the time. He doesn't care who sees and notices. And if he wants me to do it while we are in his presence, I will have no choice. I do not like this."

"If you are able to think of another plan, one that doesn't require you to fail to bring Kreacher to him, I will be pleased," Minerva said.

"I don't think there is any other option," Severus replied. "I will try to keep him safe, but I cannot guarantee it. There is also the matter of Potter. He has to meet with Kreacher. He shouldn't come here, so Kreacher will have to go to him, which will give Kreacher more knowledge of Potter's whereabouts."

"I will bring him to headquarters. Miss Granger will have to arrange a meeting. I will speak with her in the morning," Minerva said.

"And Azkaban?"

"Think about nonlethal potions that might appear to satisfy the toe-rag's requirements, aside from the lethality. I will have Robbie think about it as well. If the Dark Lord insists on a lethal potion, I will tell Robbie to brew it. And it will be lethal and I will give it to you. We will bear the guilt with you. It may not ease your own, but it is what I can do for you."

"Couldn't we warn them?" Gareth asked. "If they checked the guards more carefully, beginning tomorrow..."

"It would seem a suspicious coincidence," Minerva said, "and we would also have to convince the Ministry to do it. Even using Order members in the Ministry, it would take time to have them implement new procedures, and they would want a reason for it. It is impractical even if it wouldn't be suspicious to the toe-rag."

"I will think about the potion," Severus said, pausing as his voice trembled and a brief spasm rippled through him. He swallowed. "Crouch will not have to brew it. I will. It is my role."

"Is there anything more that you need to tell Aunt Minerva tonight? If not, I think you should take some potion, have your back tended to, and get to bed." Gareth looked over at his aunt. "Would it hurt for him to spend another night here?"

"I need to go to my own rooms," Severus said.

"You don't have to, Severus," Minerva said. "I am sure that if your prefects look for you and don't find you, they will go to Sinistra. They are accustomed to doing that now. Or they will seek me if it's a larger problem. Sinistra has already settled them into their dormitories following the altercation. And you do need to have your back treated. Poppy was going to do it for you before you went to bed, but we can do it here. All your potions are here. You can take something right away."

Severus was torn, but finally took the path of least resistance, and nodded. He was trembling, his legs felt weak, and he had a headache the size of Ben Nevis.

"Do you mind going up on your own, Severus?" Minerva asked. "I need to go see what is happening with the students who were involved in the fracas. I had thought that Robbie would be back by now."

Severus nodded. "I am fine. I will need to know what happened."

"Yes. As soon as I know, I will tell you," Minerva said. "I'll put your potion on your back when I return."

"I can do that, Aunt Minerva," Gareth volunteered. "If Snape doesn't want to wait for you."

Minerva stood and waved her hand dismissively. "You two decide. I will return when I return."

After Minerva had left, Gareth said, "Want to go up now, Snape? I could bring you that potion of yours first."

Severus nodded, and when he made no move to rise, Gareth assumed he wanted his potion. A minute later, he brought him the bottle of thick brown potion and a spoon.

"I use a cup, not a spoon," Severus said.

"Sorry, be right back," Gareth replied.

"Just hand me the bottle."

Gareth watched as Severus took a couple gulps of the hot, thick potion and handed it back to him. He waited a few moments, then said, "Ready to go up, Snape?"

Severus pushed up on the armrests as he stood. The potion was beginning to take effect, and he was able to cross the room without stumbling or holding onto the furniture, though he did use the handrail up the stairs to the Headmistress's suite.

Once upstairs, Severus sat on the bed while Gareth measured out a dose of Headache Potion.

"This one first, I think," Gareth said, "and then I think you have only one other potion you're still taking, other than the one for your back."

"Why are you giving me that?" Severus asked, although he accepted it.

"If you haven't got a headache, I would be amazed," Gareth replied. "Besides, you look like you have one."

"Hmmpf."

"Now this one." Gareth handed him a small spoon with a red potion in it.

Severus swallowed it.

"I'll fetch you a nightshirt. You can undress. I'll be back with it in a tic, and then I'll put the potion on your back," Gareth said.

Severus looked at the door to the loo. "I'd wanted a bath."

The guestroom only had a shower.

"Can't have one, anyway. An Impervius wouldn't withstand a bath. But I'll cast one on you if you want a shower."

"No," Severus said, scowling. "I wanted a bath."

"That could affect your wound. You might scar."

"In case you are completely oblivious to my situation, McGonagall, I will spell it out for you: I will be dead within weeks. A scar is hardly a concern right now, even if I cared about such things, which I don't."

"It still might affect the healing. You need to be as fit as possible in the next weeks, particularly if you are to have any chance at surviving it all."

"You are a dunderhead," Severus said.

Gareth shrugged. "Get undressed. I'll be back."

When he returned, Severus was sitting on the bed in his shorts, looking dejected and surly.

"Lie down and move the shorts so that I can reach the entire burn," Gareth said, handing him the nightshirt.

Severus pulled on the nightshirt before lying down on his stomach. He pushed the waist of his pants down.

Gareth sat beside him and said, "I need to move your clothes a bit more."

Severus grunted.

"I've been thinking," Gareth said as he began to apply the potion in small circles.

Severus grunted again.

"I think I know how you can take a bath, if you want one. I'm sure that Aunt Minerva wouldn't mind your using the bath."

Severus didn't respond.

"Are you interested in my idea or have you gone off the notion of a bath?"

Severus shrugged. The potion felt nice going on. He had hardly been aware of the irritation until the potion began to relieve it.

"I thought a Bubblehead Charm, but cast on your back. I think it would work. It would feel a little strange, particularly when you lean back, but you could have a bath."

"Hmmpf."

"Shall we try it? I can cast it then leave you alone to take the bath. I'll be in the sitting room, and you can call me if you need me."

Severus nodded. It wouldn't be the same as having complete privacy, but it would be nice to have a bath. His muscles all still ached.

Gareth finished applying the potion, then pulled Snape's pants up and pulled the nightshirt down to cover him.

"I'll go draw the bath. You want something in it? There's sandalwood bath oil."

"Fine," Severus said. He sat up and looked at the potions, then reached for one.

"If you want to take the muscle relaxant, only take a half dose. I don't want you to fall asleep and drown on me," Gareth said.

"I wouldn't mind. Rather a good idea, in fact. Sounds peaceful."

Gareth ignored him and left the room. When he returned a few minutes later, he said, "Your bath is ready. How much of that potion did you take?"

Severus glared at him.

"I just want to know whether I have to go in and sit with you while you take the bath to make sure that you don't slip slowly beneath the water and meet that peaceful end you talked about, or if I can give you your privacy," Gareth said.

"Interested in saving the pet Death Eater?" Severus asked, standing.

Gareth looked at him a moment. "No, I'm not. I don't see a pet Death Eater here."

"Your precious spy," Severus said with a sneer.

"Yes, our precious spy. And very precious you are, Snape," Gareth replied evenly.

"Saving me to spy another day," Severus said, opening the door and starting toward the bathroom.

"Yes, saving you to spy another day," Gareth agreed, following him into the bathroom.

"And to murder and..."

"Snape, enjoy your bath. Don't make yourself more miserable than you already are," Gareth said with a sigh. "Besides, Aunt Minerva hopes you will live beyond your days as a spy. I will do what I can to see that she is not disappointed in that hope."

"You are a font of human warmth and generosity, McGonagall," Severus said sarcastically.

"Get those bloody clothes off so I can cast the charm and leave you to be miserable all on your own," Gareth said, his patience at an end.

Severus pulled off the nightshirt and put it on the bench, then turned his back on Gareth.

"Do you bathe in your undershorts?" Gareth asked sharply. "Because you'll have to if I cast the charm now."

Severus scowled, but removed his underwear, holding it in front of him even though he was facing away from Gareth.

"Ready?" When Gareth received no response, he shrugged and cast the spell. An iridescent bubble appeared around the slightly pink area covering the lower half of Severus's back. "Let me try to flatten it a bit...it's quite bulbous. I don't think you could lean back as it is." Gareth passed his wand over the bubble. He nodded. "It will feel odd, and I don't know how long it will last, but it should be long enough for you to take your bath."

"Good. Leave."

Gareth left.

Severus got into the bathtub. It was huge, and the sides seemed to be the perfect angle for reclining. The taps were all along one side so he could lean against either end without them being in the way. He closed his eyes, leaned back, and sighed. The bubble did feel strange and added a peculiar buoyancy to his back, but it also created a kind of cushion. The water was the perfect temperature, and McGonagall had put in just enough bath oil to soften the water and add a pleasant scent without it being overwhelmingly perfumed.

The potions were doing their work, and his aches and pains were melting away. Severus tried to blank his mind, but he was tired, and the potions that relaxed him and removed his pain were also making it difficult for him to concentrate. He tried to think of something other than death and murder, killing Kreacher, killing Azkaban prison guards, the Dark Lord's fury when he brought him one more ruined Horcrux, and having to hide from the Dark Lord, even in the midst of torture and weakness, that he knew of the Horcruxes, that his loyalty lay with Minerva, and that he loathed his false master. Silent tears began to roll down his cheeks. Even not thinking of all of those things, he still felt them and he still felt his despair. It was as he had told Hermione weeks before: he was being slowly destroyed from within. He only hoped that he could survive long enough to be killed before he crumbled.

Severus groped for the flannel that Gareth had put on the edge of the bath. He wet it and wrung it out over his face, then he placed the cloth over his eyes. Muggles gave men blindfolds before they went before a firing squad. A peculiar bit of humanity in a barbaric practice. He wished he could wear a blindfold. He saw all of it coming. He wasn't frightened of death any longer; he was more frightened of what he had to do while still alive. He did not want to die painfully and ignominiously, but it was inevitable that he die, and it would likely be both painful and shameful. He had believed in his fate from the day that he first turned to Dumbledore to beg his help to save the Potters. And then the old man failed. Albus had tried, but he hadn't conceived that their Secret Keeper would betray them. So he was still here, spying, dealing in death, and ready to die himself.

Somehow, good would come from all this evil and the Dark Lord would be defeated, Severus told himself. He had to believe that. He would triumph even as the Dark Lord recognised his treachery and killed him. He was not just a spy. He was a master spy. He was still fooling the Dark Lord, still tricking the most powerful Dark Wizard in history, his Occlumency stronger than the Dark Lord's Legilimency. He was having his triumph even now. Every time he returned from the Dark Lord and the Dark Lord still believed him a loyal little Death Eater. Every time he told him a lie about Minerva or Potter or the Hogwarts defences, he had another triumph. He was the greatest Slytherin of any Slytherin since Salazar himself. Maybe even greater than he.

Severus took the flannel from his face and used it to wash, then he slid beneath the water to wet his hair down. He'd get his Shed-Stop in the morning before breakfast. As he sat back up, he remembered Gareth's words about making sure he didn't drown himself. Gareth hadn't had to do anything to help him have a bath, particularly after he'd been as surly as he was, yet he had. But the wizard couldn't imagine what it was like for him. A few potions and a bath wouldn't fix anything.

Severus got out of the bath and started it draining. He looked around for his wand. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He had left it in the bedroom with his clothes. If he were that forgetful and sloppy the next time he met with the Dark Lord, he would be dead and the Order's ability to steer events would die with him.

He dried off with a large, fluffy white towel, then put the nightshirt on. There was a dressing gown folded on the bench and slippers on the floor next to it. Severus assumed that McGonagall had put them there for him, so he put those on, as well, though he didn't tie the sash because the charm was still in place. He stuck his pants in the pocket of the dressing gown and went out to the sitting room.

Gareth looked up. "I made us tea, if you'd like it. Minerva's still not back."

Severus hesitated. After the way he'd spoken to McGonagall before his bath, he hardly wanted to ask him to do anything for him.

"Want me to lift the charm for you? Or were you going to do it yourself?" Gareth asked.

"Very well," Severus said, turning. He felt the bubble disappear and the nightshirt settle against his back.

Severus sat down. He looked at the teapot, then decided a cup wouldn't be amiss. He poured it out. The aroma was strong.

"What is it?"

"A blend. I bring it to Aunt Minerva from the island. Made from different ingredients that grow wild there. Except the mint, though that's practically wild now," Gareth said. "Has dried berries, herbs, and other ingredients that I don't know. It tastes good, though, and I find it has a gently soothing medicinal effect."

Severus set his cup down, no longer thirsty.

"I can get you some peppermint or catnip or something instead," Gareth said. "But it really is quite nice, even if it sounds peculiar."

Severus looked at the cup. McGonagall had done that on purpose. Made him his mother's tea. A petty revenge. Severus looked up at Gareth, undisguised contempt on his face.

"I don't want anything from you, you cowardly bastard," Severus spat, standing with such force he almost knocked his chair over. "Think you're clever, don't you? All innocence because you can't take your vengeance openly. You're no Slytherin, so don't try to be an underhanded sneak with me. You won't succeed."

Severus marched off to the guestroom, but as he tried to slam the door behind him, it was caught by Gareth's hand. Severus turned, his anger still blazing.

"Listen here, Snape," Gareth said in a low, hard voice. "I said, listen!" he said more loudly as Severus opened his mouth. "You have had a shit day after a shit weekend and your life is generally miserable. But that does not give you any excuse to speak to me that way. I'll put up with your moods and basic nastiness, but there is no call for you to attack me like that. I fix a pot of tea for myself and think that just maybe you might like to have a cup, so despite the fact that you have been a complete prick since we came upstairs, I put out another cup for you. You don't like it, Snape, you don't have to drink it, but just because you're a narrow, nasty, sly snake, who takes pleasure in petty cruelty, doesn't mean that everyone around you is. I have tried to be decent toward you, and you make that as difficult for me as possible. It's as if you want to prove to yourself that everyone else is out to make your life worse and that no one could possibly ever do anything for Severus Snape unless they have some ulterior motive that goes against your interest in some way. I honestly don't know how Hermione puts up with you...or Minerva or anyone else who cares about you."

Gareth turned and left the room.

Ten minutes later, Severus came out to the sitting room. He stood there a moment, then said, "Minerva's not returned yet."

"No."

Severus looked at the coffee table. His teacup was gone. He went into the little kitchen and found a mug and some peppermint leaves. He put the peppermint tea in the mug, ran water into it, then waved his wand to heat the water. Some of the leaves floated on the top. His Muggle teabags were pathetic, by wizarding standards, but they did contain the leaves.

Severus returned to the sitting room with his mug. When Gareth didn't look at him, he sat down on the couch, holding his mug in front of him, trying to sip the hot liquid and avoid the leaves. Gareth glanced over as he was wiping a leaf from his lip with his finger.

"Peppermint?" Gareth asked.

"Mm," Severus said with a nod.

"There was a teaball. You could have used that. Strains out most of the leaves," Gareth said.

Severus hadn't even thought to look for such a thing.

A few minutes later, Gareth asked, "Good bath?"

"Yes."

"How's the back?"

"The charm worked. It didn't get wet," Severus replied quietly, then added, "Thanks for that. Clever idea."

Gareth nodded. He let out a sigh and looked at Severus. "Look, Snape, we have our histories. Where they intersected before, when we were both young . . . that was bad. No denying that it was bad. But I told you how I felt about it, and I told you that I would not be able to forgive it, but that we could . . . start fresh, that I would do my best not to hold it against you. And I am. I'd like to think that I'm also trying to see you as a person apart from those events. But you make it damned hard. I think it's partly because even if I managed to accept your contrition, you are still holding on to the guilt yourself. But that's you and your business, Snape. Don't blame me for it. I know you say you find it hard to forgive, but do you think you can forgive me?"

"For what?"

"For being a reminder. I can't help it, you know. I am who I am, and I drink tea that my mother blends, and I do it whether you are here or not."

"That is foolishness," Severus said scornfully. "What kind of thing is that to ask of me?"

"Isn't it true? If not, then tell me. If I have done something else to you, I want to know it. It didn't occur to me, even when you were having that fit, that giving you that tea would be a problem. I'd only hoped you'd have a few minutes of peace while you drank it. But if it was something else that I did, tell me."

Severus shook his head, letting out a long breath. "You were right, McGonagall," he said softly. "My life is miserable and it won't get any better. Maybe it's simply easier to accept it if it is unrelenting, if there is no moment when I feel . . ." He shook his head again, closing his eyes.

Gareth drew his wand and cast a spell. "Drink your tea, Snape. The leaves will stay at the bottom of the mug now, but the charm doesn't last long."

Severus drank his tea. "Do you know what happened with the students?" he asked.

"There was some kind of argument, some name-calling, and then someone pulled a wand, and by the time Alroy reached them, several students were suffering from hexes of varying degrees of severity, there was a hole in a classroom door, a suit of armour was fleeing after it lost its head to a stray spell, a portrait was damaged, there was a flood, and it was general chaos."

"Who was involved besides Slytherins?" Severus asked.

"A few Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs. Some Ravenclaws were curious bystanders, but apparently got out of the way once the hexes started flying."

"Do you know which Gryffindors were involved?"

Gareth shook his head. "I think one of them was the Weasley girl. Hermione wasn't there, if that concerned you."

"I needn't guess that it was Slytherins against the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs," Severus said.

"Any other scenario would be unlikely, but I understand...and I may be wrong...that one of the Slytherins actually came to the defence of a Hufflepuff, and that was part of what triggered the entire altercation," Gareth replied.

"Really? Which Slytherin? Which Hufflepuff?"

Gareth shook his head. "I don't know. I don't know any of them well enough and I wasn't there."

Severus could not withhold his sigh.

"I'm sorry, Snape. I know you don't need more difficulties in your life." Gareth paused, looking at Severus, and when there was no reply, he said, "Having your House openly divided at a time like this will pose problems, but it may also be a positive thing."

"It would be if I could actually persuade more students that being Slytherin does not mean being a follower of the Dark Lord, that a Slytherin does not need to be a blood purist to be a good Slytherin, that being a Slytherin means so much more. But I cannot do that. I have been barely adequate as Head of Slytherin because of the restrictions my role places on me, and now there will be those with whose care I am charged who will likely die, or at least suffer, because I cannot perform my role as I see fit. It would have been better for the world if I had never been born."

"I doubt that, but true or not, you were, and you live," Gareth replied. "Look, why don't you go to bed? Take a little more of that green muscle relaxant and get some sleep. If Aunt Minerva returns in the next half hour, I'll send her in to you, otherwise, you might as well wait until tomorrow morning to learn the details."

Severus nodded and stood.

"Just leave your mug. I'll take care of it," Gareth said.

Severus put the mug down. When he reached the guestroom door, he turned. "McGonagall? Sorry about the tea."

Gareth grinned and gave a small shrug. "It isn't to everyone's taste. Good night, Snape."

---

Severus woke in the dark. There was someone there with him. He reached out to cast a wandless Stunner in the direction he felt the person standing and groped for his wand with his left hand.

"Snape, it's me."

"McGonagall." Severus relaxed. "Do you have a death wish?"

"No. I wanted to wake you gently," Gareth said, flicking his wand and lighting a lamp. "Aunt Minerva is back. She is freshening up, but she needs to talk to you. I thought you might prefer to talk to her in the sitting room rather than lying in bed."

"What time is it?"

"One o'clock." Gareth left him to put on his dressing gown and slippers.

One in the morning. That was worrying. That it had taken so long to take care of and that Minerva would want to wake him to talk to him about it rather than waiting until morning were both clear indications that the situation was more grave than student altercations usually were.

Severus paced the sitting room as Gareth fixed his aunt some chamomile and catnip tea. Minerva emerged from the bathroom, ready for bed.

"I am sorry to have to wake you, Severus."

"Did someone die?" Severus asked.

"No, no one is dead. Have a seat."

Gareth brought Minerva her tea then went back toward the kitchen and slouched against the wall, listening.

Minerva took a sip of tea. "There was physical damage, clean up, trying to sort out what actually happened...Robbie and Alroy managed that quite well...and Madam Pomfrey has treated all of the students who were hit by spells. Only three of them need to stay in the infirmary overnight...one Hufflepuff, one Gryffindor, and one Slytherin. Miss Bones and Mr Creevey both require observation and further treatment. Even if it were not medically necessary for the Slytherin to remain in the Hospital Wing, we would still keep him there for his own safety. Blaise Zabini is perceived by his fellow Slytherins to have taken the wrong side in the altercation. He had the worst of the hexes. I fear for his safety if he returns to his House."

"Fuck." Severus looked up at Minerva. "Sorry."

"Do not concern yourself. I understand the sentiment."

"What was it about?"

"Mr Crabbe called Susan Bones a Muggle-loving blood traitor and her companion, Eleanor Branstone, a Mudblood who would have to be taught her place. Zabini told Crabbe to move along, Crabbe asked him if he was a Muggle-lover or just a Mudblood-lover, then Mr Goyle suggested some rather nasty things about Zabini's relationship with Miss Branstone, and from there, it escalated. By the time Alroy arrived, eleven students were involved, seven of them from your House, including Mr Zabini, who sided with Miss Bones and Miss Branstone. Miss Weasley and Colin Creevey joined in the fray because, according to Miss Weasley, the other three needed their assistance. I have no doubt that is true, yet despite that, I did take points from Gryffindor. I cannot be seen to be condoning violence by any of the students. The most points were taken from Slytherin, I am afraid to say, though I did award Mr Zabini twenty points for standing up for his principles and exercising his authority as prefect to attempt to avert the confrontation."

"Who cast the first spell?" Severus asked. "Were they able to determine that?"

"Goyle cast one at Branstone, Zabini countered it, and after that, we have determined what spells were cast by whom and which ones met their marks, but not the order in which they were cast. There is no doubt that Zabini was targeted more than any of the others."

Severus sighed and shook his head.

"I think you should speak to him, Severus, and better to do it now if you wish to do so in relative privacy," Minerva said. "I told him he should think about leaving school, but he didn't want to consider the idea."

"I will dress and go down now, then return to my own rooms," Severus said with a nod. "I will also look in on Slytherin. If even one person isn't in bed, every single Slytherin will regret it."

"Gareth, I would like you to return tonight. I know you wanted to stay a little longer, but I need you and your mother to work on this...particularly on the problems that the little toe-rag has given us tonight, but also on the impact this open strife between Houses might have, and whether Zabini's position might have some use to us, or might be a detriment."

Gareth nodded. "I'll fetch my things from Robbie's rooms and leave immediately." He started toward the door.

"McGonagall!"

Gareth turned.

Severus hesitated. "May I speak with your nephew a moment, Minerva?"

"Of course," she replied, then she realised that he had meant he wished to speak with him alone. "I will be in the study."

Gareth looked at Severus questioningly.

"I don't believe we will meet again unless you return from the island very soon," Severus said. He hesitated, unsure of how to proceed. "I want to tell you that I appreciate your approach to life. It is not one I could ever take, but I appreciate it. I regret that our lives were not such that we could know each other better."

"I share your regret, Snape. But I do hope that we will have that chance in the future." Gareth quirked a slight grin. "You're still a miserable bastard, and I don't particularly like you, but I think I could. You grow on a person. Take care of yourself, Snape."

"One other thing, McGonagall."

"Yes?"

"Minerva...if things go badly, if the Dark Lord prevails, save her. Bring her to your island. Don't let her make a meaningless sacrifice. Promise me."

Gareth nodded. "I will try."

"And Miss Granger, if you could get her to safety, persuade her to join her parents wherever they are..."

"You have my promise that I will do my best for them both if I am alive and the worst comes to pass." He saw Severus's expression. "I promised my mother I would stay out of the Order and try to avoid becoming involved in the war. That does not mean that I will abandon others to do the fighting when the end finally comes." Gareth smiled at him. "Don't look so bleak, Snape. I believe Potter will succeed. I even think there's a good chance that you will live to see that day. Good night, Snape, and good luck."

Severus watched the younger wizard leave, then he returned to the guestroom to dress and prepare to see Zabini in the infirmary.

---

Severus sat in his office, his eyes closing involuntarily. He had to get to dinner, but it had been a long day. By the time he had returned to his rooms after speaking to Zabini, it was four-thirty, then at six-thirty, Poppy was at his door ready to apply the potion to his back. He'd managed a total of almost four hours sleep, which was actually more than he often got, but as Gareth had pointed out, his body had taken a beating, and then he'd been subject to Crucio the evening before. He was exhausted. Through force of will, he believed he had successfully hidden his fatigue from the students, but that effort in itself had been enervating.

He considered whether to take an Invigoration Draught. He avoided most artificial stimulants, other than tea and coffee, because there were dangers in their overuse and they never made him feel completely normal. Invigoration Draught was mild, though. At this point, he might be able to take Alert Elixir or Invigilatus Potion. It wasn't as though he needed to worry about dependency, addiction, or rebound effect. He'd be dead before any of that could happen.

There was a knock on his door. Severus straightened and waved his wand to open the door.

"Good afternoon, Professor Snape." Robbie closed the door behind him.

"Crouch," Severus said with a weary nod. He didn't even have the energy to snap at him and try to discourage his presence. The wizard had only called on him in his office on two previous occasions, so he assumed he had some legitimate business, perhaps a message from Minerva.

Crouch looked at the door. "May we speak privately?"

Severus waved his wand and cast an Imperturbable and a Colloportus. "Sufficient?" Severus asked.

Crouch hesitated, then cast another spell, causing the walls, the floor, and the ceiling to glow a pale blue. "If anyone attempts to use an eavesdropping spell, the colour will shift," he said.

"I don't know that one," Severus said, frowning.

"I will teach it to you sometime, if you wish. It was a popular spell in the forties, though unsubtle and rarely used any longer, since the glow is visible from any windows. You have none, so this is an ideal location for its use," Crouch replied. He placed an old, small, very worn book on Severus's desk. "I believe I have a solution to one of our problems."

Severus looked at the cover, but only the letters "abd" were legible. Crouch opened the book, finding a page almost at the end. He turned it so that Severus could read it. The text had been neatly transcribed by hand, but the writing was crowded and old-fashioned; most of it was in English, but it was sprinkled liberally with both Latin and Greek potions terms. The spelling was irregular, and Severus judged the text to be at least a few hundred years old, though the transcription might be more recent. He blinked. His head ached.

"What is it?" Severus asked.

"It is a potion that I believe will suit our needs," Crouch said softly. "Properly prepared, it is lethal. Improperly prepared, it is not. It consists of two separately brewed potions, neither of which should be detected by Azkaban security as dangerous...alone, they do nothing. When combined, they create a deadly potion. It must be delivered to the victim within twenty minutes of completion or it becomes inert again. That means that the guard would have to combine them himself, after going on duty, and find some means of having the other guards ingest it. Once the potion is finished, it can be mixed into almost any beverage and retain its potency. If put into an alcoholic beverage, however, it is harmless."

"I see only that this meets the Dark Lord's needs," Severus said bitterly.

"As I said, it must be properly prepared to be lethal. A Potions master understands that the brewing of a complex potion is more than just stirring ingredients together. It is doubtful that the Azkaban guard will be able to combine the components properly. Intent, Professor Snape, intent," Robbie said with a smile.

"And not merely the intent to kill, either," Severus said, a half-smile appearing on his face. His headache forgotten, he began to scan the text, turning the page to read the final part of the instructions. He nodded. "Yes, this will do." His frown returned.

"What is wrong?" Robbie asked.

"He will want to test it. He will want proof of its lethality."

"Then you will prove its lethality, Professor. It is unpleasant and regrettable, but you will show him how simple it is to mix a few drops of one potion into a spoonful of the other, administer it, and kill someone."

Severus's eyes were dull and blank, but he nodded. Whomever the Dark Lord chose to test the potion on would already be marked for death. This potion was, according to the text, fast-acting, perhaps more humane than other ways the victim could be killed.

"When improperly prepared, the potion will, at most, induce gastrointestinal distress, possibly some disorientation, but it is most likely that it will have no effect at all," Robbie said. "It will appear to Riddle that the guard did not do what he was supposed to do. That means, too, that the attack on Azkaban will encounter resistance. Perhaps it will not be successful."

"Perhaps," Severus said flatly.

"I will brew it for you tomorrow. When you bring him the diadem or Kreacher, you can tell him you are still trying to find the perfect potion for him, or that it will take time to brew it, that the ingredients are rare."

"He said he wants it in a week," Severus said. "I can postpone it no longer than that."

"Very well. If I brew it tomorrow, it will be ready for you whenever you need it."

Severus looked down at the book, not seeing it. "I am capable of brewing it."

"I have no doubt you are, but I will do this. I can do none of the rest for you, but this, I can do. It is also Minerva's wish."

Severus looked back up at Crouch. "Have you ever killed a person?"

"I have attempted to avoid it. However, I have been responsible for more deaths than I care to discuss. I am sure you can understand that sentiment."

"Mm. You fought Grindelwald."

"Yes. It was a long time ago, though, another lifetime."

"Did you poison people then?"

Crouch shook his head.

Severus closed his eyes. He felt on the edge of collapse, but he could not, not yet. He only had to last one second past the Dark Lord's decision to kill him. Then he would be dead and he could collapse.

"Dumbledore said you were a competent Potions master," Severus said, opening his eyes.

"I would like to believe that I am at least competent."

"You will brew this and it will work?" Severus asked.

"I will brew it and it will work...in the hands of another competent Potions master," Robbie replied.

"I should brew it," Severus said.

"There is no way that Riddle will be able to tell who brewed it. You will deliver it and you will perform the final phase of brewing, demonstrating its efficacy."

Severus nodded. "Very well, but if there is a flaw in the potion, I will likely not live to tell you about it."

"There will be no flaw."

Severus shoved the book back at Crouch. "When you have it brewed, deliver it to me."

"I will. Have you decided what you will do next?"

"The diadem. It's easiest, although he will be angry, but he will still want Kreacher, so I hope that his anger will be tempered by his desire to have me healthy enough to kidnap the house-elf. In addition, I do not know what Potter's response was. We may have to change our plans."

"I have not seen Minerva since she returned, so I do not know, either. When will you deliver the diadem?"

"I will borrow Minerva's Pensieve and do it tonight after curfew, then deliver it immediately."

"You look like death, Professor. You need to be in bed tonight. Dreamless Sleep would not be amiss."

"He will be angry that the diadem is destroyed..."

"His anger will not be improved by your haste."

"Delay is pointless," Severus said.

"If it were only for the sake of delay, perhaps, but you need to be fit when you see him, Professor. He will try to learn whether you had a hand in destroying it. Even with the memories deposited in the Pensieve, there may be traces remaining. You know that. Shadows only, but if he presses and you are not fit, he might detect something and keep pressing. You are a powerful Occlumens, but you have been under physical, mental, and emotional stress. You can beat Riddle, you can outwit the Dark Lord, but not if you are exhausted. Be at your best and you will find your triumph."

"I will decide after dinner," Severus said reluctantly, but already decided. He would wait. He would sleep. He would take Dreamless Sleep and forget the world for one night.

"I understand that you did not prevail upon Mr Zabini to leave school."

"No. He will remain in the infirmary for the time being, though he'll begin attending classes and meals again tomorrow. I told him I would fetch him all of his things. I will do that this evening. Most of his family has already left Britain and are staying with relatives in Morocco. Only his father has remained to continue overseeing the family business. I tried to hint to Mr Zabini that his father might be well-advised to take a long vacation. It was difficult to say enough without saying too much. Obviously, I could not betray my true allegiances."

"We will do our best with him, Professor, and Poppy said that she will sleep in the infirmary for as long as he is there."

"She is hardly an Auror," Severus pointed out. "The sentiment is admirable, but foolish. Hufflepuff foolishness."

"Perhaps, but she might surprise you...particularly if others share your underestimation of her. A badger has sharp teeth and a lot of mettle."

"I hope there will be no occasion on which she has to prove that," Severus replied. As far as he had some measure of respect or affection for any of his colleagues, Poppy Pomfrey was not the least of them. But she would probably die when the Dark Lord attacked Hogwarts. Any of his colleagues could, or all of them. And he would be the one permitting the Dark Lord entry. He was their murderer. He shoved the thought from his brain.

Severus stood. "If you will get rid of the lightshow, we can leave for dinner."

Crouch nodded once, drew his wand, and the blue glow vanished in an instant.

Severus opened the door. "Thank you for your report, Professor Crouch, and for supervising my classes in my absence yesterday."

"Certainly, Professor Snape," Robbie replied as he followed Severus out the door. "I am always pleased to assist a fellow Potions master."

The two wizards joined the flow of Slytherins on their way up to dinner in the Great Hall.