Et tu Brute?

Disclaimer: Rowling puts Harry through extreme psychological and emotional turmoil. Harry's happy in this tale. I've obviously not Rowling.

AN 1: In canon Remus transforms only one night a month, but to suit my story's purpose, I've got him changing for three nights.

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Chapter 12: Et Tu Brute?

After her parents had dropped off their bags and freshened up a bit, Hermione took them on a fast tour of Hogwarts as they walked towards Remus' quarters. She knew the questions would come, but still tensed when they started.

"So, darling, how are you coping with all of this?" her mother asked, worriedly.

"I'm coping quite well," Hermione answered blithely before pointing out an alcove to their right. "That tapestry is a magical depiction of the goblin rebellions of the seventeenth century. The stitching changes to follow the leaders of both forces in an endless loop." She paused briefly to let her dad examine the hanging more closely, then continued the tour, quickening her pace slightly.

"And, how is Mr. Lupin dealing with the situation?" her mum continued.

Hermione stopped walking, rounding on her mother. "What do you mean by that, Mum?"

"It must be difficult for him to renounce bachelorhood so suddenly, that's all," her mum said gently while giving her daughter a piercing gaze. "I wasn't insinuating anything bad about you, dear. I imagine any man would be thrilled to be married to you."

"Mum," Hermione hissed, "Please don't talk about this here where anyone could hear us. The students and teachers have been told Remus is getting married, but only a few know who the bride is. I'd prefer it remain that way for as long as possible."

"I'm sorry, dear. I just wanted to find out as much as possible before we met the man. I don't want to embarrass you with a crass comment or other faux pas."

Hermione looked at her parents and finally saw the worry etched on their faces. Closing her eyes and sighing, she nodded, then hurried them along their route, only stopping when they reached the corridor lined with arrow slits.

Gesturing to a stone bench, she paced back and forth, her hands clasped behind her back as she thought of what to say. Finally, she stopped and looked directly at her parents.

"How much do you know about Remus and this situation?" she asked.

"Albus has kept us briefed on the progress of the bill, so we know what it entails. As for Mr. Lupin, Albus told us he used to be your professor a few years ago, but he has worked for the Headmaster in other ways since the late seventies. He didn't tell us, but we inferred from that information that he must be quite a bit older than you," her mum said, pausing.

"Yes," Hermione confirmed. "He's about twenty years older than me. Although it may seem like a huge difference now, in a few years it won't be, and in the Wizarding world it isn't even an issue until the age difference is more than fifty years." Her parents nodded in understanding.

"Albus also mentioned something about Lycanthropy, but we didn't have the time to find information about that. Could you tell us about it, dear?"

Hermione paused. Age was a relative thing and her parents knew that. An incurable, contagious disease making the afflicted little better than a criminal was another thing completely. It didn't help that, without understanding it, Muggle authors had distorted and sensationalized the issue in popular novels.

She took a deep breath. "Lycanthropy is a powerful magic that transforms a witch or wizard into a wolf."

"Oh, so he's an Animagus like you want to be?" her dad asked hopefully.

"No, dad, he's a werewolf."

Hermione had expected many responses, but laughter was not one of them.

"Does he sprout patches of hair all over his face, like in those wolfman movies?" her dad asked, while chuckling.

"No, it's nothing like that. I guess the closest film has come to depicting the truth was Werewolf in London, but it's much more tragic and complex than that. These people are forced to undergo torturous physical transformations three nights a month, and if they don't have access to the Wolfsbane potion, they also lose their minds to the monster as well.

"Werewolves only prey on humans, so the law is forever watching and persecuting them, treating them like criminals. If Remus were ever caught biting someone, he would be executed without a trial and put down like a common animal. Their rights as people are almost nonexistent. Not only that, but if any werewolf ever did attack a human, they, well, they'd never be the same again. The monster takes over and eats away at their soul, and the urge to att...." She stopped herself. "It's just bad."

Her parents had stopped laughing and were now looking at her in abject horror.

"You can't marry him," her mother stated.

"I've little choice in the matter, Mum."

"Yes, you do!" her mum exclaimed. "Being powerless under the law is better than being married to a monster."

"That's your prejudice speaking, Mum. You don't know Remus, so that's not a fair statement. He's never bitten anyone. He's only a monster three nights a month, and the rest of the time he's a very sweet person. As for those three nights, I will learn how to make the Wolfsbane potion, and Professor Snape will continue to experiment toward a cure." Her parents were looking at her as though she had gone mad.

"Listen, why don't we go meet Remus," she continued patiently. "I'm sure he'd be willing to answer all your questions, and you'll see he's not a bad sort."

Her parents reluctantly agreed, but were obviously on edge. Before they had gone many steps, her mum suddenly stopped cold.

"The full moon was last night!"

"Why, so it was. Any reason you bring that up?" Hermione said, not bothering to keep the sarcasm at bay.

"Well, isn't he still dangerous?" she said, a slight hint of hysteria in her voice.

"Not until nightfall, which isn't for a few hours yet. Trust me, he will kick us out well before he starts transforming. He doesn't want to hurt anybody, let alone his in-laws-to-be."

"How can you be sure? We might get caught up in a conversation, and you know how time just flies by when that happens."

"He'll feel it coming on. Thursday evening I was visiting him, and suddenly he got very anxious and politely shoved me out the door. He did it so gracefully that I didn't even know why until later." She decided to leave out how she remembered.

Her parents were slightly reassured by this, although her Dad gave her a baleful stare, presumably for taking such risks with her life. After a few more calm reassurances, Hermione was finally able to coax them down the hallway, and knocked on Remus' door.

"Mr. and Mrs. Granger, a pleasure to meet you at last," said Remus, when he opened the door. "I'm so glad you had the time to come up. Please, come in. Would you like some tea?" he continued, trying to set the Muggles at ease.

The Grangers looked around, saw no evidence of a monster waiting to gobble them up, and relaxed a little, letting common courtesy take over.

"That would be lovely, Mr. Lupin," Jane replied.

"Please, call me Remus," he protested.

"Mm," Jane replied noncommittally, though giving him a slight smile. "This is a very homey room you've got, although it seems a tad small for two people. Is this where you'll be living while Hermione finishes school?"

Hermione eyed her mum warily, as Remus gave her an appraising look.

"Well, I won't be at Hogwarts most of the time," Remus said, while giving Hermione a nervous glance. "Until Hermione leaves school, Albus thinks it best if she basically continues with her normal role. He thinks it may help keep the speculation down. Of course, the school governors don't exactly welcome my presence here, so it's also to keep them happy. The only reason I'm allowed to stay here at all is because this part of the school is nearly impenetrable to mischief." He looked at the Grangers for a moment before adding hesitantly, "You do know about my condition, don't you?"

Harold nodded while Jane continued her information quest.

"Yes, yes, Hermione just told us. Why are you staying here at all if Hermione's to be left by herself? Wouldn't it be easier to keep speculation down if you weren't here?"

Hermione sat down, feeling like a non-entity. She knew her parents had her best interests at heart, but talking about her as if she weren't there rankled. She testily poured herself a cup of weak tea and watched as the discussion progressed.

"Ah, well, you see, the Potions master here, Severus Snape, is currently doing experiments to improve the Wolfsbane potion, hoping to find a cure for Lycanthropy. The official argument is that it would waste too much of his valuable time to leave school grounds every time he needs to consult with me. It doesn't really sound like much of an argument, but Severus can be very persuasive when he needs to be. The governors agreed with a few security provisos."

"And what's the real reason?" Jane asked shrewdly.

"Unofficially, though Severus' time does factor in, it's really to make Hermione's life easier. There's no point in making it any more difficult than it already is."

"Her life will be made easier by marrying a werewolf?" Harold asked in measured tones.

"Dad!" Hermione admonished, hoping he wouldn't continue.

"It's a fair question, dear," her mum said, giving her daughter a quelling look.

"That would depend on who you ask, Mum! It might be fair to ask me that, but it's rude to ask Remus like that."

"Hermione," Remus cut in gently, "it is a fair question, and one they deserve an answer to." Hermione shrugged her acquiescence and settled back into the chair with her tea, trying to quell the peevish expression she knew she was wearing.

Remus studied the benign, middle-aged couple who were sitting politely on the chesterfield, looking for all the world as if they were discussing the weather, not their daughter's fate.

"No, her life will not be made easier by marrying me. It will be exponentially more difficult. I did, however, explain this to her in detail, and she still chose me," he explained in a rather resigned tone.

Hermione felt her parents' attention fall back on her, and she could feel the weight of their disapproval on her conscience. She became defensive.

"And yet, if I don't choose him, life would be even more difficult when a Death Eater petitions me. It was a choice between Remus and probable death. He's a nice guy who has given me hope again. Is that such a bad thing?"

"Sweetheart, it's my right and responsibility as your father to look out for your best interests. Your mother and I have always been proud of what a responsible and thoughtful young lady you've become. We've never had any reason to question your judgment, not even during that war of yours, until now."

"Dad," Hermione started, but was cut off as her dad turned to Remus.

"Remus, you seem like a decent fellow, but I just can't abide my daughter marrying a werewolf. I'm frankly astonished, and more than a little disturbed, that you and everyone else is just allowing Hermione to throw herself into danger like this!"

"I am not throwing myself into danger, dad! If you'd just-" But once again, Hermione was cut off, this time by Remus' response.

"Trust me, Mr. Granger, if the conditions were different, I wouldn't put your daughter in this position either. The problem is that she is too powerful and intelligent and, well, useful, to be locked away to breed, which is what the law will force on her when it passes. I don't want, I mean to say, your daughter is lovely, and I only want the best for her. I know I am not the best, and it tears me up that I seem to be her only option."

"What about Harry?" her mother asked.

Remus looked at Hermione, but seeing that she was too cross to answer, replied, "He just married Ginny. I know he would have offered otherwise."

"Well, there have to be some other boys willing to marry you!" her mother said, turning to her daughter, looking rather offended herself.

"That may be, but there aren't many boys I would want to marry, Mum. I put everyone who was willing through a test of sorts to see if we would be compatible. Only Remus and Professor Snape passed," she snapped.

"Well, what about Professor Snape, then? He seemed like a nice enough fellow!"

Hermione almost choked on her tea, then looked at Remus. They both tried very hard not to laugh at the absurd statement.

"He's not a nice fellow at all. He's a conniving, sadistic bastard whose main joy in life has been tormenting me and my friends for the last seven years," Hermione said, then added, with her mouth twitching, "Also, rumor has it that he's a vampire."

Her parents blanched at that before Remus laughed and disabused them of the notion.

"Severus isn't a vampire, though I can see how the rumor got started. However, he certainly isn't a pleasant fellow, most of the time." Remus turned to Hermione and added, "We chatted a bit this morning, me and Severus. I believe he's figured out that problem that's been bothering you. I wouldn't dismiss his unique solution just because it goes against some previous theories."

Before Hermione had a chance to respond, there was a knock on the door. Remus jumped up to answer, giving Hermione a meaningful glance as he did. Hermione furrowed her brow, trying to figure out how he could know about that conversation. She was wondering when Severus had the chance to talk with him when Remus opened the door.

"Speak of the Devil!" Remus exclaimed. "Severus, do come in. We were just talking about you." He opened the door further and waved the dark man in graciously.

"Lu- Remus," Snape said tersely, offering all the Grangers a polite bow, before turning back to the werewolf. "Dare I ask how I came to be the subject of your conversation?" His face was blank, though his eyes kept darting in Hermione's direction and were glittering strangely.

"We were just discussing Hermione's other options," Remus replied jovially.

Snape raised one eyebrow and looked at Hermione with something akin to amusement on his face. "Indeed?" he said, causing color to rise in her cheeks.

"Yes," she said, holding her head up and looking at him defiantly. "My parents wanted to know why I'm not considering a nice fellow like you."

Snape's other eyebrow shot up, joining the first near his hairline. He looked between Hermione and Lupin, then turned his attention to the elder Grangers, his lips twitching traitorously.

"I assure you, Mr. and Mrs. Granger, that your daughter probably has valid reasons to exclude me from her list of suitors, although I am honored you would consider me worthy of her."

"You aren't a vampire, are you?" Mrs. Granger asked forthrightly.

Snape chuckled softly. "No, I am completely human, madam, though the rumors and epithets suggest otherwise."

"Then you would be a better option than a werewolf," Harold said, giving Remus an apologetic glance.

Snape looked as if he were trying to hold back a gloating smirk. "Whether or not I am the better option is immaterial, as your daughter has already deemed me unacceptable."

Hermione snorted, causing everyone to look at her.

"What everyone fails to remember is that he was never a willing contender. You snorted at the mere thought on Tuesday."

"When was that?" he asked sharply.

"In Dumbledore's office, when he said that bit about everyone in the room being willing, I distinctly remember a snort coming from your direction."

Snape's smirk went away, replaced by a scowl. "Indeed, I did," he admitted. "However, you may have misinterpreted its meaning."

"Oh, yes, snorts are so open to interpretation," Hermione sneered.

Snape's scowl deepened, and through clenched jaw he said, "It was not directed at you, Miss Granger. The Headmaster's statement was a bald-faced lie, seeing as half of the people in the room were there by honor of life debts owed to Professor Dumbledore, not freedom of choice."

Hermione eyed him shrewdly while trying to remember the night more clearly. She still didn't trust his motives.

Snape turned from Hermione to her parents, and promptly changed the topic. "Although this is a most illuminating conversation, I did not come here for such a friendly chat. Mr. and Mrs. Granger, the Headmaster would like to meet with you whenever you have the time, though now would be especially convenient for him," Snape said smoothly. At the Grangers' questioning looks, he added, "There are documents that need your signatures. We don't want the Ministry claiming the marriage invalid because of a technicality, do we?" he said, looking at Hermione.

"I guess we'll have to continue this conversation another time, then," Jane said, looking between Hermione and Remus with a determined air.

Hermione got up to join her parents, but Snape stopped her, adding, "Your attendance is not required, Miss Granger. I'm sure you and your fiancé would appreciate some time to yourselves." Hermione glared at him and watched as he opened the door for her parents.

"If you'll permit me, I would be pleased to escort you to the Headmaster's office," he purred, becoming a courtly gentleman to good effect. Jane blushed slightly as Snape bowed to her while Harold raised an eyebrow in amusement. With a final nod, Snape shut the door, leaving Hermione and Lupin alone in his room.

"Who was that, and what has he done with Professor Snape?" Hermione asked, scowling at the closed door.

"Severus can be quite the gentleman when he chooses to be. Becoming a Death Eater actually taught him the basics of good social graces."

Hermione looked at him as if he were insane. "Oh yes, we should all thank Voldemort for instilling good manners among his minions, teaching them to bow to each other as they passed the victims 'round."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," Remus said with a bite of impatience.

Hermione closed her eyes to regain her fraying patience. "I'm sorry, Remus, it's just that a polite Professor Snape is a frightening thing. He's obviously plotting some nefarious deed."

"Mm," Remus said noncommittally. "He's probably figuring out how to seduce you," he said mildly, looking knowingly at Hermione, who blushed and looked down at her feet, unwilling to meet Remus' censure.

"He told you about last night, then?" she said quietly, not looking up.

"Yes, but he didn't have to. I heard and smelled everything."

"Heard? But I saw Severus cast a Silencing Spell."

"Silencing Spells only work on human hearing, Hermione," Remus said, sounding tired.

"Oh. Right," was all she could say. She sat in her chair feeling very foolish and more than a little cross with herself. She should never have acted so rashly. Her foolishness had cost her and Remus the slight amount of trust they had built since this whole fiasco started. All she could do was sit there awkwardly, trying to think of a way to make it better.

Before she could come up with any plan, Remus said innocently, "So, Severus is a 'nice fellow,' is he?" She looked up at him in amused shock for a moment before a giggle overcame her. Remus quickly joined in with his own chuckle.

"I really should correct that assumption of my parents, or who knows, they might try to set me up with him."

"Would that really be a bad idea?"

"Remus, you heard what went on last night! Do you really think I should marry myself off to a man who can't control himself?"

"Whom are you talking about? Severus or me?" Remus asked.

Hermione opened her mouth, but shut it quickly when she realized what he meant. The question hung in the air for a few moments before Hermione dropped her head into her hands.

"Damned if I do, damned if I don't," she muttered to herself. "Remus, I don't know what to do. He's been such a bastard for the past seven years."

"He at least loves you. I only wish I could."

"If last night was any indication of how he treats his loved ones, then I want no part of his love. He was as scary as you were. Anyway, are you sure he loves me, or does he just want to keep me away from you? He has shown me only the slightest bit of respect, unless you call his constant manipulations a form of respect, and I don't see how anyone can love someone they don't respect."

Remus sighed wearily. "This is what I know, Hermione. After you chose me, he came and told me that if I don't treat you right, he'll cause me grievous bodily harm. Then last night, I smelled his panic well before I heard him rushing in to save you. When he came to meet with me today, I was expecting him to hex me, but instead he damn near apologized to me. He almost broke down as he detailed what happened last night. He more or less told me how he feels about you, Hermione, and I'm a lamb if it's not love."

Hermione was silent for a minute, trying to wrap her mind around this new version of Snape.

After a while, she cleared her throat and spoke. "How can I discount seven years of observation, Remus? I've watched him closer than most of you realize, and he's...he's not nice. He's been horrible for my entire school career, delighting in humiliating us. He didn't stop after Voldemort fell, he just decreased the frequency of his attacks. He doesn't respect me, not really, and as a person, I don't really respect him. Mainly, though, I don't trust him. Besides, I like you and always have. Should I really marry someone I don't like or respect?"

"How long are you going to like me, though? And why do you respect me? I expect that neither feeling would last for more than a couple years, and personally, I expect to live at least another thirty."

"I'm far more likely to remain constant in my regard for you than to ever change my mind about Snape."

Remus sighed in exasperation. "Why are you being so stubborn about this? Yes, he despised you for most of the time he's known you, but that's a lot better than him having lusted after you from first sight, don't you think? You're a smart witch; surely you know people can change both their minds and outlooks? Use your head! Everyone can see he's the better choice except you."

Hermione stood up, suddenly enraged, her red face shining with fury. "Is that so? I forgot. Everyone knows my mind better than I do. Everyone knows what's best for me. Everyone in the whole fucking school knows me better than I know myself! Come off it, Remus," she yelled, stomping her feet in frustration. "Don't insult my intelligence. If you don't want to marry me, just say so!"

"Quite frankly, if you're going to act like an irrational child, then maybe we should call it off!"

"I'm being irrational? Remus, you're suggesting I marry SNAPE! A man who bloody slammed me against the bloody wall last night because I offered him some bloody sympathy!"

"Sympathy or pity? "

"Does it make a difference? He attacked me over nothing!"

"He said you had forgiven him," he said accusingly.

"I DID!" she screamed, then took a deep breath to regain control of her temper. With a voice of forced calm, she continued. "I have forgiven him for all his past misdeeds, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid enough to trust him again, especially not at close quarters."

Remus closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them he nodded his head in understanding. "Fair enough."

"Indeed," she said waspishly. He shot her a pained look.

"Why are you so set on marrying me, though? Surely one of the other men could offer you more happiness?" Remus asked reasonably.

Hermione sat back down, emotionally and physically drained from her outburst. Her voice lacked any emotion as she explained, "I charmed the questionnaire to detect compatibility. The charm said you and Snape were most likely to offer happiness. Kingsley came up as negative and destructive, and while George was neutral, it would feel incestuous to marry him. No others came close to being as compatible as you four."

Remus frowned in thought. "What spell did you use?"

"Pax Amoris."

"And you're sure you cast it correctly?"

Hermione looked at him with a slightly injured air, then shrugged in defeat. "I'm not positive Snape's test was properly cast. It was the last one charmed, and I was very tired by the time I finished, but other than redoing his test completely, there's no way of knowing for sure."

"Why don't you? I'm sure he'd be willing to-"

"Because he is no longer an option, Remus. I. Don't. Trust. Him. He's far too powerful a man and wizard to safely marry without trust and respect on both sides."

She sighed, looking wearily at him. "If you don't want to marry me, then please tell me now so I can contact Kingsley and see if he's still willing. I guess it's possible that if we both work hard at it we wouldn't destroy each other in the end."

"The test said I was better for you than Kingsley?" Remus asked slowly, incredulously.

"The only one with a greater chance for success and happiness was Snape, and as I said, I suspect that parchment was faulty."

Remus studied her carefully. She could see a range of emotions flicker through his tired eyes, from fear to hope to loneliness. It struck her odd that he could be lonely even though he had a lover.

Finally he came to a decision. "I trust your skills," he said with a sharp nod. "Okay, I'll marry you," he said, and offered her a small smile. Relief filled her, as she jumped up and hugged him.

"Thank you, Remus," she whispered in his ear, then turned her head to peck him on the cheek just as he turned his head to smile at her. They were unprepared when their lips met. Their eyes opened in surprise, but neither backed away. After a few seconds, they both relaxed into the kiss, and she closed her eyes as they explored each other's lips slowly, sensually.

Later, she couldn't remember when or how they had moved to the bedroom. All she could remember was being lost in the fog of his embrace. She felt so safe as his arms enveloped her, pulling her to him securely. She felt his wiry muscles against her softer curves and was too wrapped up in comfort to notice their feet moving. All she cared about was maintaining his kiss and the overwhelming relief it brought.

There was no need for thinking or fear. She felt her mind being covered with a squashy blanket of complacency, but didn't really care. All she wanted was for the kiss to continue, for him to hold her. Just as long as he didn't stop, everything would be all right.

XXX

She woke up with her head resting on his hairy chest. Her mind started whispering that something was wrong; it only took a few seconds before Hermione remembered the day, and more importantly, the moon phase. She quickly looked around for a clock and sighed in relief. There was still a good hour till sunset.

Relaxing back down onto his chest, she gradually let herself think of what she had done and what Remus had done to her. She didn't feel bad about it, but at the same time, she couldn't help feeling as if she'd been bewitched somehow. It had felt as if she was experiencing someone else's desire, not her own. The pleasure he had given her had been real enough, but again, it felt as if she had only been a conduit. It was almost as if he had been making love to someone else through her.

The thought shook her. Of course... He had been. She remembered being surprised and overwhelmed by the intensity of her feelings, and she realized why. She had been feeling his beloved's emotions. The intense joy and love she had experienced throughout- it hadn't been hers.

"Something wrong, my sweet?" Remus said, stroking her arm soothingly.

She sat up and looked at him, forgetting her modesty for a moment.

"Will it be like that every time?" she asked him, frowning.

His smile faded, seeing her expression. "Like what?"

"Like I'm just the go between. Like I'm an outsider in my own body."

He paled slightly, then sat up to look at her, his face serious. "I'm... I don't know."

"Oh, God. I can see now why the unpledged partners go insane. That's worse than Chinese Water Torture."

"Did I hurt you? I thought you were enjoying yourself," he asked, suddenly very worried.

She couldn't help laughing. "Oh, I enjoyed it very much, but not nearly as much as she did."

Remus swallowed, then said, "You felt Tara?"

Hermione nodded, wincing at the way he caressed the other woman's name. She wasn't sure whether she liked knowing the name of his beloved now that she knew it.

Remus was watching Hermione, an unidentifiable expression on his face. "I... You should know that I don't... I haven't ever made love with her," he said, eventually.

"But, I thought... I don't understand," Hermione said as she looked at him frowning.

"She and I have been unable to be with each other. At her father's insistence, a fidelity charm was placed on them at her wedding."

Hermione frowned a little more, questions pouring into her mind through every avenue. "So you two have never..."

He shook his head.

"But, I... how can you stand it? And what about her husband? Does he have any idea where his wife's heart is? And does he feel the same way when he and she make... have..."

"He never said anything to her. She didn't know the full ramifications of the spell when she cast it. By the time we met again and she told me what she'd done, he was already half mad. He had no idea what was happening, never having heard of the spell or symptoms. I believe he's a Muggle-born, and as you've probably found out by now, the written information on the spell is sparse."

Hermione looked at her fiancé in horror. Was this really the fate she wanted? "How long? How long did it take for him to go completely insane?"

"Five years."

The newly affianced pair stared at each other silently. After an age, Hermione looked away, biting her lip nervously. She didn't have any idea about what to do. Part of her wanted to call everything off and run away as fast as she could, while another part wanted nothing more than to hold Remus, to let him comfort her. She had enjoyed the comfort he had given so far. She turned her mind away from those thoughts and refrained from touching him.

"Is it addictive?" she asked bleakly.

Remus shook his head and shrugged. "I don't know."

She snickered despite herself as a rogue thought hit her. "Will I go blind?"

Remus looked at her askance, before starting to chuckle himself. "No, I believe that's reserved for those who don't have partners. But I do get hairy palms on a regular basis..." They looked at each other and started laughing, falling against one other for support. When the laughter died, they continued leaning against one another silently.

"I suppose I should go," Hermione said a few minutes later, when she suddenly felt the urge to kiss him.

"Yes, it's getting to be time." Remus swung his legs off the bed, and quickly pulled on his pants. Hermione gathered all her garments from around the room, and dressed quickly, keeping her back to Remus.

Back in the living room, they kept a discreet distance from each other, both lost in their own thoughts. Hermione slowly made her way to the door, trying to work out her feelings. As she opened the door, she faced him again, and looking at his sweet features, she knew she had to protect herself.

"I won't be able to put myself through that too frequently, you know. I don't think I'm a jealous person by nature, but I wouldn't be able to withstand that."

"I know," Remus said, nodding somberly.

She hesitated a moment before adding, "I won't mind if you take someone else to bed, when you need to. Will you object if I take a lover at some point, if I ever feel the need?"

Remus looked at her sadly. "No. Whatever will help keep you sane." He sighed as if exhausted. "I won't stop you, but I do ask you to remember that you are choosing me over Severus. I would be... hurt... if I found you with him after all of this."

"I don't think that will be a problem," she said, wondering why he thought that it would. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow afternoon, then," she continued, putting on a falsely cheery face. "I hope your night goes well. Oh, and just to warn you, my mum and dad will probably come around to talk tomorrow morning."

Remus pecked her on the cheek, and smiled sadly. "Thank you for the warning." He opened the door for her, but stopped her before she left.

His cool gray eyes met her warm brown ones, and he looked at her intently for a few moments. With a neutral voice, and a faint smile, he said, "I hope you don't end up regretting this decision."

She offered him a smile in answer, and inwardly agreed.

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AN 2: Please don't kill me. Not yet, anyway.