A Letter of Consequence

Disclaimer: Not mine, as always.

Chapter 9: A Letter of Consequence

Friday

Hermione woke the next morning feeling empty, but surprisingly refreshed. For the first time in ages, she felt alive. When she looked in the mirror, however, it was as though she were seeing herself for the first time. She looked awful. Her skin was pale, her cheeks were hollow from not eating properly, and her eyes looked bruised thanks to the dark circles surrounding them. She held an arm up for examination and realized she had probably lost a stone or more in the last few months. Her limbs were nearly skin and bone. For a second, she was hurt that no one had noticed, but soon realized that she always wore robes, and having her own room meant she never undressed around the girls anymore. No one would have had a chance to notice.

Thinking about it a little longer, she realized that her friends had been worried about her. She rarely saw any of them look at her without concerned expressions anymore. She wondered if it was because of how she looked, or her behavior. She blushed thinking how irrational she had been of late. She certainly hadn't felt like herself, and more than likely she hadn't been acting it either. It was time to change that. She was ready to face the day and all it had to bring, impending marriage included.

XXX

When she sat down to breakfast at the Gryffindor table, she smiled warmly at her friends, and felt how stiff those little used cheek muscles were. She was rewarded for the effort, though, with the beaming faces of her friends shedding some of their worry.

"You look like you feel better today," Harry said. His smile grew even broader when he noticed her ample serving of breakfast.

"I do feel better today," she responded happily. "I managed to get a good night's sleep last night, and I think it's made a world of difference. I feel like I've finally found myself again." Harry and Ginny smiled at her with relief written all over their faces. She smiled to herself, noting the warm glow that their friendship brought.

Soon the Great Hall was thrumming with life as most students had made their way to breakfast. It was getting to be time to leave for class when Dumbledore stood up and raised his hands for attention. The noise in the Hall dimmed quickly.

"Students, faculty, I have an announcement to make. It seems as though Hogwarts will be hosting a joyous event this weekend. Some of you might remember Remus Lupin, a former professor from four years ago. It is my pleasure to announce that he will be getting married this Sunday afternoon in Hogwarts Chapel, and that any who wish to attend the blessed event are welcome. More details will be posted in your common rooms."

Hermione was thankful he hadn't mentioned who the bride was, as she really didn't want to be the topic of gossip for the next two and a half days. She then furrowed her brows, remembering that she had never gotten the chance to talk with Dumbledore the previous night, and wondered how he knew of the engagement. Her eyes fell on Snape who lifted his glass to her in a silent toast, a bitter smirk on his lips. She scowled as she turned to her friends.

"So, you decided on Remus?" Harry was looking at her carefully.

"Yes." She swallowed. "We decided last night."

"Is that why you're feeling better?" Ginny asked.

"No... Yes... I don't know." Hermione let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't understand why Severus told Professor Dumbledore about my decision."

They looked at her with shocked and curious faces.

"I was looking for Professor Dumbledore last night after meeting with Lupin, but he wasn't in. Severus found me at the gargoyle, and started baiting me, teasing me about experiments Remus is undergoing for his lycanthropy." She decided to edit the last portion of the conversation. She still hadn't come up with an adequate explanation for her reaction to Snape's question, and it was bothering her.

"He said something that bothered me, and I ran away before telling the Headmaster about the engagement."

She didn't miss the shared look between Harry and Ginny.

"What's up?" she asked. They had identical smug looks pasted on their faces.

"Severus found you?" Ginny asked.

"Yes, that's what I said... oh." Hermione realized she had been using Snape's first name unconsciously, and had no idea how long she had been doing so. She grimaced and lowered her head to the table.

"How long have I been doing that?" she asked from underneath her hair to no one in particular.

"Doing what?" Harry asked.

"Calling Professor Snape by his first name."

"That's the first time in my hearing. Been getting friendly with him, have you?"

She raised her head enough to shoot Harry a glare, before lowering her head back to the table with a small thump. "The bastard didn't really give me a chance to be anything but antagonistic. I expect that's the best descriptive for any relationship we've got."

"So why are you calling him Severus, then?" Harry asked.

Ginny responded before Hermione could get a word in. "Isn't it obvious, Harry? She's been flirting with him since at least yesterday, she gets riled up when talking about his attitude problems, and she's sounding suspiciously bitter about their current antagonism." She paused for effect. "She fancies him."

Both Ginny and Harry started laughing. Hermione looked up with a scowl that became a look of horror upon seeing the subject of their conversation standing behind her friends, an evil smirk on his face. He turned and walked away before her friends had a chance to notice her consternation. She watched him until he exited the hall, then continued to stare at the doors he'd walked through, only half listening to her friends' mirth.

"Oh, pigeon-tits!" she suddenly swore. Potions was her first class that morning.

XXX

She and Harry arrived in the dungeon with only seconds to spare before class started. They immediately went to their shared table, getting their supplies and notes out. No sooner had they started unpacking than Snape strode into the classroom with his usual snarl in place.

"Essays out, now," he barked to the class, causing the Hufflepuffs to flinch. The classroom was filled with rustling as everyone retrieved their assignments. Hermione took her parchment out, and unrolled it for a quick review before handing it to Snape. She noticed with a grimace that it was blotched in several places, thanks to her bout of crying the night before. Unfortunately, there was no time to fix it as Snape descended on their table at that moment.

"Come now, Miss Granger," Snape said over her shoulder in his trademark tone. "Surely you admired your work enough whilst creating it. However, if that is not the case and you feel the need to continue to bask in your own glory, I will be happy to let you keep it, and mark you accordingly." He held out his hand for her scroll to the snickers of the few Slytherins in the class.

She felt her cheeks burning from the unwarranted humiliation, but resisted the urge to throw the essay at him, along with a hex or two. Instead, she handed it over, keeping her eyes down and her lips firmly shut. Still, she couldn't help but notice him intentionally crumple the parchment in his grip.

Hermione could feel Harry swelling with righteous indignation, so she quickly shook her head a fraction, wordlessly asking him to let it go. She didn't want any more attention from Snape that morning. Harry looked at her, then discreetly patted her hand in a gesture of solidarity. She let out her breath in relief that he understood.

They were able to work on their potion in peace for the first hour. When it was time to let it simmer undisturbed, Hermione took out a book on archaic potions, and settled in to do some unhurried spying. Keeping her lashes low, she observed Snape from her desk, making sure she read the book every now and again to keep up appearances. Snape did not allow any time to be wasted in his classroom, and she didn't want to be caught unaware with a pop quiz while watching her teacher critically.

He was sitting at his desk reading the essays he'd collected. He was obviously writing some scathing remarks on the student's work, judging by the devilish look on his face. She wondered whose work was being blasted by his evil wit, and if the student would cry because of it. She was sure that was what he was aiming for: reducing his pupils to tears. She shook her head slightly in disgust.

She was glad she had chosen Remus. Remus was kindhearted, and would never malign anyone for the fun of it. He would treat her with respect, as that was how he approached the world. Snape, on the other hand, would make her life a living hell. She would always have to be on guard for the next verbal attack, and she was sure he would find a way to worm through any defenses she could build. The fact that he could still embarrass her in front of her classmates after seven years of taunting showed what thin skin she had. She wouldn't survive a year with Snape without doing something drastic.

It was actually too bad that Snape was such a nasty person. She rather liked his looks, even though he was nowhere near handsome. She was fascinated with his hands, and had been for a few years. His fingers were long and elegant, and when he gestured or wrote, they moved with such grace. His hair was definitely oily, and she suspected it had nothing to do with cauldron fumes. If she were generous she would guess that he was cursed with greasy hair like she was cursed with bushy hair. If he took the time to deal with it properly it wouldn't be so bad, but she definitely understood him not wanting to waste his time on his hair.

She also liked that he was tall. She had liked that in Ron, as well. It made her feel feminine in a way that was rare for her. She had never been a girlie girl, and most of the activities her girlfriends enjoyed bored her to tears. Having a man surround her in a hug, with his chin resting on her head gave her a sense of completeness and the power of feeling safe. Ron had given her that feeling, and she could almost imagine Snape reproducing it, if she could ever trust him.

She looked at his face hiding behind his black curtain and was surprised to find the look of contempt gone, replaced by a look of mild concern. She glanced at the parchment in his hands and was startled to see a wrinkled sheet. It was her essay he was reading. Had she been so out of it lately that she turned in a substandard essay? That would make any of her other teachers look concerned. Then she remembered the tear-stains.

Before she could think of another explanation, Snape looked up at her. Their eyes met, and suddenly Hermione felt as if she was being held hostage. She couldn't move or even breathe as she looked into his black eyes. Unbidden, thoughts and memories flashed by, unorganized, but all centered around her recent breakdown. She was trapped under his gaze, knowing he was seeing everything, and that she was helpless to stop him. She didn't have any training in Occlumency, and the theory she knew wasn't helping her at all. She felt a sense of dread knowing he could ravage her mind for as long as he wanted, and she didn't know enough to stop it. Panic was welling up in her as her body started crying for air, but an instant later she was free and he was looking back down at her essay, his scowl back in place. She let out a shaky breath, and slumped back in her chair feeling completely violated.

Harry nudged her, then gave her a questioning look. She didn't know how to respond, so she shrugged her shoulders slightly. She wanted to talk to Harry, but only when they were in completely Snape-free territory. As it was she had to concentrate on keeping her tears at bay. Fortunately, only a few minutes of class remained.

As the bell rang for the end of class, Hermione quickly gathered her books and was on the verge of escaping when Snape's voice rang out through the classroom.

"Miss Granger, Mr. Potter," he snapped, clearly annoyed, "A word before you leave."

Hermione slumped back into her chair, and put a shaking hand on the desk to steady herself, vaguely aware of the curious and pitying looks her classmates were sending Harry and her. Harry, meanwhile, was watching her closely, eyes flicking to the Potions master every now and again.

Once the room was empty, save for the three of them, Snape flicked the door shut with his wand, and cast a silencing charm on the room. He then stormed toward them, nearly shouting with rage.

"Miss Granger, what the hell was that?"

Surprise and outrage forced her to look up at him for the first time since his invasion. He was towering above her, with a temper to match his stance.

She stood up without realizing it, her own anger rising. "I think I'm the one who should be asking that question!" Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Harry looking between her and Snape, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Hermione?" Harry's voice was full of concern.

Feeling herself lose control of her emotions, Hermione turned to face her friend. She wasn't able to keep her voice steady, and her breath hitched. "He... The... That bastard just raped my mind!"

Before she could blink, Harry had his wand out, and Snape was flying back across the classroom, looking both surprised and outraged. He landed harshly against the blackboard with an "Oomph," and stayed pinned there, three feet above the ground.

Harry advanced on him, his wand held steady, and a murderous look on his face. For one second Hermione was tempted to egg him on, but then common sense kicked in.

"Harry!"

He stopped moving forward, but his attention was still riveted on Snape.

"Explain yourself, Snape." Harry's voice exuded power and authority. The last time Hermione had seen Harry like this was when he had faced Voldemort in the final battle. A chill ran down her spine, and she knew that if she didn't do something she was going to witness Snape's murder. She looked at Snape and knew he was thinking along the same lines.

"I didn't..." Snape's voice cut off, and it looked as though he was having trouble breathing.

"Harry!" Hermione was shouting, her panic level rising. "He's our teacher. Let's take this to Dumbledore." Snape's eyes grew wide at the mention of Dumbledore, or else he was running short of air. Either way, Hermione needed to get Harry out of 'war mode,' and fast.

"Harry, Ginny will never forgive you if you rot away in Azkaban."

That seemed to get through to him, as Snape suddenly slid down the wall into a crumpled heap, though Harry's wand was still aimed at Snape's chest.

"Explain." Harry said again.

Snape sat up rubbing his throat and glared at Harry. Snape's usually smooth voice was ragged as he unwillingly responded: "I did not force my way into Miss Granger's mind."

"I certainly didn't invite you!" Now that Harry was being reasonable, Hermione was able to unleash her anger again. Snape focused his attention on Harry, avoiding Hermione altogether.

"I didn't have any intention..." Snape faltered. "I did not use legilimency."

Harry looked at him with disbelief etched on his face, however, curiosity was starting to overcome Hermione's anger. "What do you mean? How could you have entered without intention?"

Snape finally turned to look at her. His face was a cold mask of indifference, but she got the impression he was holding back bewilderment.

"I do not know, although it may be false to say I didn't have any intention." He stopped, noticing Harry move forward threateningly. "I certainly was as surprised as you to find myself in your thoughts. I did not cast any spells, or even think them."

Harry narrowed his eyes at their teacher. "What were your intentions?"

A detached part of Hermione's mind was amused at the role reversal of Harry and Snape. They both still looked at each other with complete loathing, but now Harry was the one with authority. Harry looked every bit as scary as Snape ever had.

Snape huffed in frustration. "I wanted to know..." He watched Harry's demeanor and sighed, as if bowing to the inevitable. "I was reading Miss Granger's essay and noticed tear stains. I was curious as to the circumstances creating her... emotions." He flicked his eyes over to Hermione again, but returned to the safety of Harry's anger.

"When I looked up from her essay, our eyes met, and the next thing I knew, I was seeing her thoughts. I broke off eye contact as soon as I realized where I was." He turned to look at Hermione steadily, although avoiding her eyes.

"I did not mean to intrude, Miss Granger. I do not know how it happened."

The classroom was silent, awaiting Hermione's response. She looked at Snape, and had the mad urge to unleash all her frustrations and rage on him while he was down. She knew, though, that she really didn't want the consequences of that path. She also knew that he was telling the truth. It had been an accident.

Her voice was icy when she finally replied: "If you ever violate me again, Professor, I will make sure Dumbledore and the governors know about it, accident or not." Snape's curt nod assured her he understood.

She grabbed Harry's bag and shoved it into his arms, forcing him to lower his wand.

"Let's get out of here." She tugged on Harry's arm to get him moving, and was grateful when he acquiesced. As she followed Harry out of the room, Hermione cast a quick backwards glance at Snape, who was still sitting on the floor, and caught him aiming his wand at Harry's back. Not thinking, she stepped into the line of fire, and looked at Snape. Their eyes locked and his aim faltered for a moment, before he lowered his arm and looked away with a scowl. Hermione backed out of the room, making sure she could see Snape until she was safely out of range.

XXX

Neither Hermione nor Harry spoke on their way to the Great Hall for lunch. Both wore identical expressions of controlled fury, which sent many younger students scuttling out of their way. The small detached part of Hermione's brain was wondering if they looked as scary as Snape did when he was on a rampage, but she quickly shifted her thoughts away from the Potions master when her wand began emitting sparks.

When they reached the Great Hall, it was almost comical how the crowds parted to let them through. They reached their table and sat down, only vaguely aware that everyone was watching them.

They angrily served themselves generous portions of lunch, ignoring the curious glances their housemates were giving them. It wasn't until Ginny sat down several minutes later that either said anything.

"What's wrong with you guys?" Ginny whispered, not wanting to be heard. She might as well have yelled the question, because Harry's words weren't missed by anyone present.

"HOW COULD YOU let him off so easily?" Harry roared at Hermione. Hermione turned and glared at her best friend.

"It was an ACCIDENT, Harry, or don't you believe him?" Hermione shot back.

"No, I DON'T believe him. He's lied to us before now, so why wouldn't he try to save his sorry arse now, when we really could hand it to him?"

"You know as well as I do he had to lie those times. He's actually been more honest with us than most."

"I don't believe it. You're DEFENDING HIM after what he did to you?" Harry's food lay abandoned on the table, and he was standing before her, his arms held rigidly at his side, and his hands bunched into fists. He looked ready to punch anyone who came within reach. In a quiet voice oozing disgust, he said, "You do fancy him, don't you? You're a right sicko."

"HARRY JAMES POTTER, YOU TAKE THAT BACK THIS INSTANT!" Hermione was standing with her sparking wand in hand before she knew what she was doing. She was distantly aware of her words ringing in the silence of the Hall. Noticing movement from the staff table, she pocketed her wand without taking her eyes off Harry's angry face. She could feel the onset of tears again, but she was too angry to care.

"How dare you insult me like that? I'm only giving him the benefit of the doubt, which you would do if he were anyone else, and if you think that I could EVER fancy someone who did that to me on purpose, you can... can...." She couldn't get any more out, because midway through her tirade Harry's face softened, and with it her anger vanished. All she could feel now was the sense of irrational shame over what had transpired. Harry, sensing her mood change and vulnerability, quickly pulled her into a bear hug, and rocked her gently, giving her quiet words of comfort.

"Shh, I'm sorry. It'll be okay," he whispered to her. Hermione's legs failed, and Harry helped her back to her seat, never letting go. Ginny came over and started rubbing her back soothingly while she sobbed into Harry's robes. Overhead, Hermione could hear Professor McGonagall asking Ginny what was going on. Ginny murmured something about her brother, and assured her that everything was fine. Hermione was both grateful for Ginny's lie, and upset that she was grateful. Did she really want to protect Snape?

After a few moments, Hermione withdrew from Harry, taking Neville's proffered handkerchief. She was surprised to see Professor McGonagall kneeling before her, looking like a worried mother.

"Are you all right, Miss Granger? Do you need to go to the infirmary?"

Hermione sniffed and shook her head. "I'm just a little stressed, Professor. I'll be better after I eat."

McGonagall did not look convinced, but stood up nonetheless.

"Very well. If that is all that is wrong, then one point from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter, for causing such a scene." McGonagall gave Hermione another sharp look, then retreated to the head table. Hermione laughed softly at Harry's look of indignation.

"It's okay, Harry. We did deserve it."

"I don't know," Seamus cut in loudly, "I think you should have received points for providing us with mealtime entertainment." Snickering was heard throughout the hall at the comment, and he grinned cheekily at them before returning to his lunch.

Harry and Hermione smirked ruefully at each other, then turned back to their cold food, though neither had any appetite remaining. They picked at their lunch for a while until the hall started clearing out. When the three of them were pretty much alone, Ginny turned to Hermione.

"What did he do to you?" She said in a hushed voice. Hermione knew Ginny had figured out who 'he' was when she had lied to Professor McGonagall, but wasn't sure whether she wanted to talk about it yet.

"He invaded my mind."

Ginny gasped, looking at Harry for confirmation.

"He used Legilimency on you in class?" Ginny sounded outraged, though her voice was still quiet.

"Not according to him," Harry spat.

Before Hermione could say anything, a large barn owl dropped a letter in her soup, distracting her from her friends hissed conversation as she fetched it out and cast a drying charm on it. Her name was written in a very familiar spidery script that she knew belonged to Snape and no other. She was finding it rather difficult to breathe as she stared at the soup stained letter in her hand.

Harry and Ginny noticed her hands shaking as she turned the letter round, and stopped their mutterings about 'gits' and 'bats.' They anxiously watched as she took her wand, undid the parchment's magical seal, and read:

Miss Granger,

Severus Snape

Mutely, Hermione handed the note over to Harry and Ginny, who eagerly scanned the message. When they finished they both were as breathless as she was.

Ginny was the first to recover. "If that's not Snape being romantic, then nothing is."

Harry harrumphed at Ginny's pronouncement, while Hermione quirked an eyebrow but remained silent. Privately, she agreed.

Ginny looked thoughtfully at Hermione, then scanned the nearly empty Great Hall. She started, suddenly realizing that afternoon classes were due to start in five minutes. They all rushed off to their advanced level classes knowing they would be late, but hoping there would be only a minimum of points taken from their group. Fortunately for Harry and Hermione, their class was Transfiguration, and other than taking five points each, McGonagall didn't press the issue.

XXX

At the end of class, Hermione let her thoughts drift back to the letter from Snape. She was so intent that she almost missed McGonagall calling her name.

"Miss Granger." The tall woman was watching her with a steely gaze, as if trying to gauge how to approach the girl.

"Yes, Professor?" She noticed Harry standing in front of McGonagall's desk.

"I wish to discuss the reason behind your altercation in the Great Hall this afternoon."

"I'm sorry professor for the outburst. We..." She trailed off, not wanting to lie to her Head of House, but not knowing how to avoid the embarrassing details.

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by McGonagall. "I received a note from Professor Snape explaining the events of the morning." Hermione cringed and lowered her head, irrational guilt surging through her. McGonagall must have noticed, because her tone was softer when she continued.

"I understand the anger you're feeling towards Professor Snape at the moment. It is never easy to deal with a betrayal of trust, even if it was accidental."

"How can you be sure it was accidental?" Harry asked, his belligerent tone belying his calm demeanor.

"I have known Professor Snape for many years, Mr. Potter, and I consider him a good friend, despite his, shall we say, less pleasant characteristics. I have never known him to intentionally hurt a student in his care."

"He's been teasing and provoking Hermione ever since this bloody law business came up!"

McGonagall's eyebrows went up for a second, and her lips twitched, indicating her surprise, but she covered it well. "Indeed?" she said, in a tone eerily similar to the Potion master's. She looked from Harry to Hermione, who nodded.

"I wouldn't say he's been teasing me, precisely, but in our last few encounters he's definitely been trying to make me lose my temper." She shrugged. "I don't know whether that was what he was trying to do in class, though. He seemed pretty upset about what happened as well."

"Not sorry, though." Harry pointed out, petulantly.

"In the letter he did." Hermione pointed out.

"Only conditionally. "If that was the case," which is just Snape-speak for him trying to weasel out of any blame."

Professor McGonagall sighed, as if seeking patience, then stopped the argument with a loud ahem.

"Mr. Potter, I have known Professor Snape for nearly thirty years now, and I have only once heard of him apologizing outright for any of his behavior, and that was for joining Voldemort. You'll forgive me if I believe myself to be a better judge of Professor Snape's character than you."

"He apologized to me!" Harry nearly shouted.

Professor McGonagall looked at him through her square spectacles and raised an eyebrow inquiringly.

"Just after Hermione received the Phoenix Fire, he apologized for killing Ron and maybe Hermione, too."

She looked to Hermione, her gaze carefully shrouded. "Before we condemn Professor Snape, maybe it would be best to gather all the information. Would you tell me your side of the events, Miss Granger?" she said

Hermione sighed, knowing resistance was futile, and replayed her memory of that morning. After she had told McGonagall everything, ending with the letter, she sighed, shaking. The feeling of helplessness was still deeply troubling her. She had helped Harry defeat Voldemort, but was almost literally drowned by a look? The thought was more than a little unsettling. She felt McGonagall's gaze, and looked up.

McGonagall was indeed looking at her, but shrewdly, as if seeing her for the first time. "Hmm," was all she said at first. After a few moments under her steady gaze, Hermione fought the urge to squirm. Finally, McGonagall pursed her lips, and softened her features.

"I think I'll leave you to your decisions." Her tone was a dismissal.

Harry looked at McGonagall, and said rather petulantly, "What? He's just messing with her. If he could apologize to me, why can't he say he's sorry to her?"

She looked at Harry impatiently. "Mr. Potter," she said in an exasperated tone, "will you never learn to read between the lines?"

Confused, Harry opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again as Hermione took his arm and led him out of the classroom, saying thanks and good-bye for both of them. They headed for their common room slowly, each mulling their own thoughts.

She was wondering what Dumbledore meant by a 'convergence of energy.' Did it mean that she and Snape were connected in some way that she couldn't see? And why was Snape concerned about a few tear marks? Was he in love with her? He never apologizes... that was what McGonagall implied, anyway. Did McGonagall think Snape was a better choice?

After they'd been seated in front of the cozy fire for a few minutes, she came back to the present and found Harry and Ginny looking at her expectantly.

"What?" Hermione said.

"You looked kind of dazed there for a bit." Ginny smiled kindly. "It looked like you were on the verge of solving a problem or something."

"I suppose I was." Hermione tone was still far away, and she bit her lower lip nervously, trying to decide how to approach the situation.

"What did she mean about your decisions, Hermione?" Harry asked. Hermione looked up at him, and was surprised at the hard look he was giving her, as if he knew the answer but wanted her to deny it.

"She was referring to whom I marry."

"But you've already made your decision, haven't you?" Harry looked like he was getting angry, though Hermione wasn't quite sure why.

"Yes, but it isn't final until... well, until I say 'I do'."

"Dumbledore announced Remus' wedding. If you back out now it will be humiliating for him."

Hermione looked at him shrewdly, compressing her lips in annoyance.

"True, but that's not the real reason you're upset, is it?"

"No, it isn't. I'm angry because I don't understand how you can consider that bastard! Not after today."

"Didn't you hear Professor McGonagall, Harry? She told us that Severus never apologizes! What was that letter if not an apology?"

"That doesn't make what he did right, or how he made you feel."

"Yes, but it probably was an accident. I really don't think he did that on purpose."

"How can you know, though? He's nothing if not manipulative, and that's all he's been doing. He could be lying through his teeth about not using Legilimency on you, and because he's been in your head he knows how to manipulate you. He knows what to say for your heart."

"Harry, looking at everything from an objective standpoint, I can't believe that. Everything points to him caring for me. You were the one who pointed that out to me, for Merlin's sake!"

"Yes, well, that was before he hurt you. That's not love."

"You've hurt me before, and I've hurt you. We still love each other." Ginny pointed out to Harry.

"That's different, and you know it. Neither of us have deliberately violated each other like that."

"But how can you be so sure he did it deliberately?" Hermione countered.

"It's SNAPE for God's sake! He is nothing if not deliberate!"

Hermione closed her eyes and sighed.

"Okay, for the sake of argument, let's say he is just being a manipulative bastard out to ruin my life. The question for you is why he's going to all of the effort? It would be so much easier, and probably more satisfying, to just sit back and watch Remus break my heart. Why would he interfere in that process if he didn't care at all?"

"It's not guaranteed that Remus will break your heart. It seemed like you were fairly happy about the decision at breakfast."

Hermione sighed, realizing she hadn't told her friends about her latest conversation with Remus. She wasn't sure she wanted to, either. She considered what to say carefully.

"Remus has told me not to trust my heart to him. I won't explain why, as that's none of your business, but I am sure it will be a loveless marriage. Snape knows this." She paused to think of a way to explain the situation. "I'm not exactly thrilled with any of my options, you know. Remus is a good guy, but won't love me. Snape is a bastard, but it looks like he does love me. If I go for a Muggle marriage then I might be tossed out of the wizarding world. Even Snape is better than that."

She paused again, noticing Harry's anger had diminished considerably. A crucial point suddenly appeared in her mind. In a small voice, she asked, "Harry, if I chose Severus, would you still be my friend?"

Harry's eyebrows shot up, his jaw dropped, and he gave a sharp laugh.

"Hermione, I will always be your friend, even if you choose Goyle for a husband." He smiled at Hermione for the first time since Potions. "I just don't want you to get hurt, and I really don't trust Snape on that count." For what felt like the hundredth time that week, Hermione felt her eyes filling with tears again. Harry came over to sit by her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder protectively while Ginny knelt down beside her knees and laid her head on Hermione's lap.

They sat there for a few minutes in silence, listening to the quiet buzz of conversation going on around them. Ginny looked up at Hermione with an earnest expression

"I was only teasing before, but do you fancy Snape? I suppose it's the really crucial question."

Hermione sighed, yet again. "I don't know. Before class today I think I did fancy him a little. And then that letter... If he would just show me a little respect then I think I could love him."

"Have you told him that?"

Hermione smiled ruefully. "I haven't had the nerve." She looked at her friends plaintively. "Not a very good Gryffindor, am I?"

Harry laughed at that. "I don't think Godric himself would have been brave enough to face Snape like that."

Hermione smiled, and mulled over her situation a little more. Finally she came to a decision.

"I need to go talk to Remus, although maybe I should talk to Severus first. I'll probably regret it for the rest of my life if I don't clear this up beforehand." She disentangled herself from her friends and got up with a determined grace. "Wish me luck," she said over her shoulder, as she made her way through the portrait hole.

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AN: As always, huge thanks go out to my betas, both for their excellent work and for their cheerleading. I really do appreciate it. Also, as you may have noticed, I'm back. Sorry for the delay, but RL does have precedence. And, fortunately, when my computer crashed, it didn't take the C drive, and the rest of the written story, with it (only the D drive was lost). I'll try to update as soon as possible, and hopefully that'll be within the week, but no promises.