Chapter 17

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Thanks go to ladyinthecloak and charmed_nay for looking this over for me.

Frowning, Hermione thought about the past few weeks. Her life had certainly taken a different turn. She'd turned in her resignation for her job, deciding she would have to do something else if she wanted her marriage to work. Better hours and better pay would be one thing playing a major part in her decision. The week she'd tried going back had proven to be too difficult. There were always people trying to speak with her, reporters hounding her, and her assignments seemed to be lacking. Had they lost faith in her at some point?

Her parents were upset with her for what they considered "standing by and doing nothing" while Lucius weaseled his way out of facing charges. She'd tried to explain that things were different in the Wizarding world, but they still felt discriminated against. And in truth, that was exactly what was happening. Hermione could do nothing about it because of her vow to Lucius. "I wish I'd never taken that vow," she muttered. But then she wouldn't have saved Severus' life.

What would life without Severus be like? Different, that was for certain. For one, she was sure that she and Ron would be together. He hadn't willingly gone to that woman. "Not like me," she said bitterly. "Me who did this with my eyes open. Mostly." She knew it didn't pay to sulk, but things had seemed so simple before. Now that she was a wife--to Severus Snape no less--she found that things weren't exactly easy. Feelings were more complicated than ever. There was no bossing Severus around, and it was very hard to budge him once he'd made up his mind about something. And in an interesting twist of fate, he was quite good at coaxing her into seeing his side of things--much too often for her liking.

And she'd fallen in love with him at some point. She knew now that it was more than just the magic that thrummed through her when she was near him. For all his difficulties, he was quite a good husband and a very considerate lover. There was always some feeling, though, that nagged at her. It caused her to doubt things and to wonder if she'd made a mistake putting so much trust in his words. Now and then he'd say something that gave her pause. The last time had been the night before.

Severus chuckled darkly. "And that is why I chose you, my dear. You're so very clever."

"Leave it be," he said, standing and leaving the room.

What had he been about to say? From the tone of his voice, she was certain he'd been on the verge of admitting something to her. And she didn't like what her instinct told her.

"Hermione?"

"Oh, Severus, when did you get home?"

"Only just. What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Indeed?"

"That's what I said."

"I see." He turned to go up the stairway.

"How is your dear friend faring?"

He stopped and faced her. "He thinks that the Dark Lord has returned and is taking revenge on him. He wants to know if I feel anything or if I've seen anything."

"What an idiot. Did he never once stop to think about the dream stone? It's only us giving him a taste of his own medicine."

"He's not mentioned it once, so I doubt he's been thinking of it." He sighed and looked away. "Narcissa isn't doing well."

"Oh?"

Was that a hint of sadness in his expression? Why wasn't he looking at her?

"She's torn between worry with Draco and worry about Lucius." His eyes met hers. "And her part in what happened with you. Guilt. Shame."

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "She should be."

"There's something you don't know."

"What's that?"

"It was she who made certain that Weasley and the French woman remained a couple, though her husband initially cast the first Imperius."

Sitting down sharply in a nearby chair, Hermione let out a deep breath. "I mean, I assumed she had something to do with it, what with her being in France all that while, but to hear it admitted." Triumphantly, she smiled. "I never took a vow to not go to the Ministry with anything against her, Severus."

"That's true."

"But?"

Severus walked closer. "They did help to save my life. Hasn't this been enough?"

"What?" Hermione asked shrilly. "Are you saying that you don't want them to suffer any longer for what they've done to us? Done to me?"

"Don't put words in my mouth," he snapped, crossing his arms. "I'm just saying that--"

"They've ruined my life!"

His eyes became stony, and his voice dropped to a quiet whisper. "Forgive me. I didn't know being my wife still left you feeling this way after all we've shared since becoming bonded."

Shame flooded through her. "Severus, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

"No," he said certainly, "I think you did." He turned on his heel and left her alone in the sitting room, the last rays of the sun's light fading away.

Why had she said that? She hadn't meant to hurt him, but it had stung that he seemed to be having second thoughts about revenge on the Malfoys. When would it be enough for her? What sort of person was she becoming? Sometimes the highlight of her day was thinking up things to do to Lucius while he slept. She and Severus had even competed to see whose nightmare had more of an effect on him. And then she realized it had been at least a week since Severus had used the dream stone.

Had they gone too far? She hated Lucius for what he'd done to her. Nothing was the same. He'd used her, lied to her, nearly killed her father--the list was quite long. Her body and mind had been violated. "No, it's not going too far," she decided. "He deserves this."

And then her thoughts drifted to Draco. She and Severus had received an owl from Harry, asking them to quickly meet him at Grimmauld Place. He and Ron had found Draco and had brought him back home to England. Just thinking about his state helped her regain her anger with Narcissa Malfoy, for the woman had been helping her husband keep him in such a state.

"Hermione, Snape," Harry said, beckoning them inside. "Here, in the kitchen." He led them through the narrow hallway to the kitchen.

She was going to ask to stay, but she saw how his eyes travelled over to Ron, who'd not said anything, only stared the entire time. She knew it wouldn't be a good idea.

Looking back on it now, she wondered why she'd been so passive about some things. Was she not an adult? Couldn't he trust her to make the right decision on her own? That day had been long, but after he'd administered a couple of potions to Draco, things began to look up. Malfoy had even regained some of his bite, and for the first time, she was glad to see his pointy-faced sneer--after that scrabbly beard had been shaved off.

"Malfoy? Do you have a moment?" Hermione asked. "To speak alone."

"I'd like that."

He'd made a report against his father, but not his mother, claiming she'd been hoodwinked in believing her father's lies, but Hermione felt he just wanted to spare her. "Just as Severus does," she said quietly, wishing the daylight would have lasted longer. The beautiful place they lived sparkled with life when bathed in the sun's light. It took away her doubts, made her happy.

I am happy, she thought. All marriages have rough spots as well as good ones. Her parents' marriage was testimony to that. She expected that her life with Severus was bound to not be as easy as other relationships, as they were tossed into it feet first, learning about each other along the way. But there was something that didn't quite fit. She wished that she could Floo Harry and Ron and talk to them. It would all be so much easier if she could confide in them and get their advice--not that she'd take it, but hearing it all the same would be a comfort.

She'd been upset at first that she hadn't been told they were searching for him, but then she'd realized that things weren't the same any longer. She was no longer part of a trio. Just being around Ron was very uncomfortable. More than once, she'd looked up to find him watching her through pained blue eyes, and it didn't help that Severus hovered about suspiciously, as if trying to detect betrayal. The first time she'd seen him had been horrible for them all.

Mrs. Weasley nervously wrung her hands. "Hermione, Severus, hello."

"Hermione!" Harry greeted. "Just in time."

They'd wanted to announce their decision of their pending wedding date, and both had been adamant about Hermione being part of it, even with her new husband. Ron's wife had sulked and gone upstairs, and he'd never returned. She assumed it had been too soon for him. And really, for it as well. They'd both done things that weren't right, and they'd both made choices they would have to live with. She was envious that Harry and Ginny would have the wedding she'd always wanted: friends, family, happiness, love. Would Severus want to have something like that one day?

"What are you smiling about?" asked her husband's silky voice.

"Thinking of Harry's upcoming wedding."

"Ah." He was quiet for a moment. "About earlier--"

"I didn't mean that... those harsh words," she said, rising and moving towards him. "I am happy with you--now. I just blame him for making a fool of me and for taking choices out of my hands."

"You had a choice, Hermione," he said coolly. "That's something you seem to forget. Often." He placed a hand on either side of her face. "Is it Weasley?"

"Of course not! I don't want him. Not the way I want you."

"Not sexually, damn it!"

"I'm saying that I'm really falling in love with you," she said, stepping back in frustration. "But is that what you really want from me? Do you want more?"

"I want what you want," he said, his voice clipped.

"What kind of rubbish answer is that?"

"Do you not remember what you told me?" he said, stepping closer and placing his hands on her face again. "I want everything."

A tremor went through her body. He did want it all. "I love you," she said. "More than I thought I could. It's not been easy for me--for either of us--and sometimes I wonder and have doubts, but I couldn't imagine being without you. I wouldn't want to."

His lips brushed hers softly. When he pulled back to gaze into her eyes, he had a triumphant expression on his face. He stooped slightly and slid an arm under her knees, easily lifting her up and carrying her over to the settee, obviously intent on taking her right there in the sitting room.

And she wanted it. Wanted him.

As always, the pull to have him and be had washed over her.

"Severus..." she whispered in surrender, forgetting that she'd intended to hear his own confession of feelings.

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Lucius Malfoy cowered before the Dark Lord in the dank corridor, his entire body shaking.

Catching sight of a mirror, the Dark Lord froze... Hermione Granger stared out from the reflection.

"Nooo!" Hermione yelled, sitting up in bed, her hair sweaty and plastered to her head.

Severus had not woken and remained asleep at her side, curled away from her. The steady rise and fall of his body told her he'd not heard her. Swallowing, she slid a hand beneath her pillow in search of the dream stone. It wasn't where she'd placed it before bed.

Gone.

Where is it? she thought frantically, using both hands to lift the pillow and search the bedding. Then she stopped and gazed at her sleeping husband. Why had he not woken when she'd cried out? Their bonding should have forced his awareness of her need. Had he used the dream stone against her to show her she was going too far with her need for revenge against the Malfoys? She shuddered at the memory.

"You wouldn't..." she whispered. Impossible. Not after the way he'd made love to her that evening--once before dinner, which had been intense and rushed, and then twice after they'd gone to bed, both times slow and deliberate. But before she'd fallen asleep, he had brought up the Malfoys again, hadn't he?

"Lucius is ready to go to the Ministry to address your father's charges."

"All right." She smiled in the darkness and placed her other hand over the one resting on her breast, interlacing her fingers with his.

Hermione's mind screamed one word repeatedly: no. If he'd done this...

Ever so slowly, she moved a hand over to slide beneath his lower pillow and felt as much as she could before being unable to continue. It wasn't there--at least not on that side. She had to know or it would gnaw away at her mind. Hermione reached for her wand on the nightstand, but it fell out of her reach onto the floor. She quickly twisted and reached down to grasp it, finding something else instead. The dream stone.

Relief flooded her. Severus hadn't used the stone against her. It must have fallen when she'd thrashed about in bed. For the first time in a long time, she'd fallen asleep without tormenting Lucius, and after the dream she'd just had, she supposed she could give him one night's peace. She hadn't the energy to do anything anyway. Slipping the stone back beneath her pillow and placing her wand back on the nightstand, she pulled the duvet up over her and snuggled closer to her sleeping husband, but sleep wouldn't find her for a while. She had to make a decision about dinner at Malfoy Manor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I want her to pay for what she's done to me. You should want her to pay for what she's done to you," the woman said slyly, hoping to coax the other woman into her scheme.

"Well, those Ministry blokes, they said it weren't him. They got proof, they have."

"Mrs. Dearborn, surely you know that anyone who could do this," she pointed to her scarred face, "and get away with it, could pay off Healers and Ministry officials. Hermione Granger-Snape has gone too far this time." She flashed a smile that she hoped would set the woman at ease, making certain her gold tooth caught the wandlight.

"Ah, I don't know 'bout that."

"You need the Galleons. How are you going to support your baby?"

"They told me to keep my nose out of trouble, the Ministry. I expect I should listen to them."

"Well then... how disappointing. I thought we had something in common." She shrugged. "Here, take this quill. When you're ready to talk again and have changed your mind, just say my name. It will bring you right to me." She sneered slightly and looked around at the woman's cramped home. "You'll be needing me soon I'd wager."

"Go on, Miss Skeeter. I almost got in enough trouble already with someone running from the Ministry. They got alerts out on you, too, now. Don't want nobody to see you here."

The woman looked down at the quill once she was alone, thinking about how she truly did need the Galleons if she was to make ends meet when the baby came. Even if her memories had been manipulated, she'd thought for sure Snape had been her man and would have been the father to her unborn child. That hadn't been an unpleasant fantasy while it had lasted. She thought of Hermione Snape and the way she'd held onto her man at the Ministry. It would be hard pulling one over on that one. She had fire in her, that was for sure.

Dotty placed a hand on her swollen stomach and looked around her dingy home. It was high time she did something for herself. Ever since her brother had disappeared all those years before, she'd not ventured out much, hoping that being unseen would keep her safe. But that Death Eater had gone to her anyway. Why? Had he known her brother? Had he had something to do with his disappearance?

She frowned. Why would she want to raise a child for a man like that? It might be better off being raised by folks who could give it a better name. Dotty sighed. "I'll always be known as that woman who was hoodwinked by a Death Eater." Something needed to be done. Her eyes found the quill again.

For now, she'd put it in a safe place and think about her options.

SW's notes: I'm sorry it's been so long, my friends. Most of you know that we had a hurricane that blew through here a couple of weeks ago (lost a small part of my roof, some trees, some shingles, my swimming pool, a few other things), and I still don't have my cable internet. I had to go and buy a wireless Air Card for my laptop. Let me just say that it's not the most trusty connection, and it's very uncomfortable to type on this. I'm so spoiled for my desktop and my Microsoft Word. :(

But I digress. I apologize for the length of time you've had to wait. If anyone still remembers this story, I hope you'll continue reading along, as the updates should be regular again. It's nearly done after all. Cheers!