Chapter 16

AN: This chapter will be a little different. Just testing something out.

Thanks go to my lovely betas, Charmed_Nay and ladyinthecloak.

Severus Snape Tells All!

by Rita Skeeter

Readers, you must remember that it was I, Rita Skeeter, who brought you the latest news on Severus Snape first! I was contacted personally and requested to meet with Severus T. Snape and Hermione J. Granger for dinner. During which, I was able to ask many questions enquiring minds have been dying to know.

It seems that Severus Snape worked many months perfecting a potion that would later save his life. He won't go into details, of course, but suffice it to say that once he was bitten by You-Know-Who's snake, his body went into shock as the potion warred with the venom.

This, dear readers, is where Lucius Malfoy plays an important part. It seems that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had sent Mr. Malfoy to send Severus Snape to him, and being the astute man that he is, Malfoy...who'd been in the know about the potion the entire time...convinced Snape that it was the time to take it, feeling the fearsome man was up to no good.

As you know, Severus Snape was instrumental in the winning of the battle between Harry Potter and Lord Thingy. As soon as he was able, Malfoy went to find Snape and quickly brought him home to help him recover and let the potion run its course and win its battle against the poison invading his body. You should all remember the important part that Narcissa Black Malfoy, cousin to the infamous Sirius Black, played in the defeating of You-Know-Who. She and Potter hoodwinked him into thinking the boy had died during a duel.

Needless to say, Snape wasn't recovering as quickly as he should have been, so Malfoy contacted Hermione Granger for help. Everyone remembers the girl who's always stood at Potter's side...even stealing his heart during their early years at school together before she chose Viktor Krum instead. Her cleverness has been sung by many over the years, so is it all that surprising that she would be able to help in Snape's full recovery?

I, for one, am not surprised and surmised this myself before it was verified.

Here are actual questions and responses as recorded by my trusty quill.

RS: Why would the Malfoys keep quiet about their part in this?

SS: Why would they not?

RS: Surely they would want the Wizarding world to know they've helped to save a hero's life.

HG: Well, the world knows now, doesn't it?

RS: Why the hostile expression, my dear?

SS: Can we keep this on subject?

RS: So, you admit that they're just being modest about their part in saving your life. Gracious people, the Malfoys. What do you plan on doing now, Headmaster Snape?

SS: I'm undecided at the moment.

RS: Granger, what was your reaction to your Weasley's marriage?

SS: Snape.

HG: I wish him luck.

RS: Did I miss something?

SS: You called her Granger.

RS: So I did. And what should I call her?

HG: I am his wife. We've been married.

RS: There's no record of this at the Ministry. Trust me, I always scan the...wait! Where are you going?

And so, readers, you've read it here first! Hermione Granger and Severus Snape fell in love as she helped with his recovery. Isn't it romantic? I can see her at his bedside, a look of helplessness on her face as she moves a cool, damp flannel over his clammy, sallow flesh. And when he finally opens his dark, hooded eyes and sees that she holds so much concern for him, he instantly knows he wants her to be his wife and asks her immediately, not wanting to wait.

It's no wonder that Ronald Weasley went to France to lick his wounds and married the first woman he met. Hermione Granger has done it again...broke someone's heart by putting her desires for another first.

How long will our hero Severus Snape keep this woman as his own? Something tells me, readers, she'll have a lot of trouble discarding this one. He seemed right possessive as he led her out of the pub.

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Severus Snape: The Return of a True Hero

by Luna Lovegood

Earlier reports that Severus Snape was alive and well and living in Egypt are now being confirmed...sort of. We now know that the man is indeed alive, so the witness who saw him must have been correct all along. Not only is Mr. Snape a war hero but he is also a great humanitarian. Our witness said that he'd been seen numerous times bringing medicine, food, and water to the sick in a small town cursed by the opening of a hexed tomb.

This town, Namun, is located within minutes from the small, lesser-known pyramid erected in the memory of Imhotep by his surviving priests. This is where the last sighting of the Crumple-Horned Knorsack took place. You may recognize this as the desert inhabiting cousin of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack.

Has Severus Snape been secretly trying to find this elusive creature all this while? Has he found it and is now making his survival known to reveal it to us all? Only time will tell. I cannot convey enough how all things are possible. His 'return from the grave' proves that!

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The Wizarding Enquirer

I am Carrying Severus Snape's Lovechild!

It's true. I'm pregnant with Severus Snape's baby. He came to me after he escaped the Hogwarts battle, and I nursed him back to health, what after all he'd been through with that snake. We shared so much...I gave him my home, my life, my heart, and my body! And then when I told him that I was going to have his baby, he disappeared days later.

Now I know that he's been living over at Malfoy Manor with that Granger woman! It's terrible that he'd forget all that I've done for him. I won't let our child suffer for it, and I intend to take him before the Wizengamot for support and parental acknowledgement as soon as our son is born. You'd think he'd treat the sister of a fellow Order member with a little more respect.

Dotty Dearborn

Editor's Note: Readers will remember that Miss Dearborn's brother, Caradoc, was part of the original Order of the Phoenix before he went missing and was never found.

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Date Set For Potter-Weasley Nuptials

by Dame Samantha Jones

Harry James Potter and Ginevra Molly Weasley have informed the Ministry of Magic that a summer wedding will be planned and have filed for the necessary documents. The date is set for Friday the 13th of August. While many would like to wish them well, we've been informed that guests will be allowed by invitation only. The wedding will take place on the grounds of the bride's family home.

The last Weasley to be married was the youngest son, Ronald, but he and his bride chose to elope. However, you will remember the lovely wedding of Bill and Fleur Weasley over two years ago, which also took place at the Weasley home. Fantastic decorating.

Fit for a Potter.

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Update on Missing Malfoy Family

by Rita Skeeter

Earlier this month, I let it be known that Severus Snape and Hermione Granger fell in love while Snape recovered in the home of Lucius Malfoy. Shortly after this announcement, Lucius Malfoy and his family disappeared. Malfoy Manor had been searched by Aurors headed by the Minister of Magic himself, Kingsley Shacklebolt, when Lucius Malfoy failed to appear at the Ministry to answer to a complaint against him brought forth by a Muggle.

The Muggle's name was never released due to the Muggle Privacy Act, Section 3, Part 2, added last April, but it's been let slip to me that the Muggle was John Granger. You will recognize the last name and for good reason. This is Hermione Snape nee Granger's father. He contacted the Ministry on his own without the help of his daughter to file a complaint against Lucius Malfoy, accusing him of causing an automobile accident that left him hospitalized.

Why have the Malfoys left their home? Why would this Muggle accuse an upstanding member who rarely associates with Muggles of such a cruel act?

The Snapes have not been available for comment, and the location of the Grangers has now been concealed, likely via the Fidelus Charm.

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Holyhead Harpies Lose: World Cup Hopes Dashed

by Luna Lovegood

Ronald Weasley, brother of Holyhead Harpies Chaser Ginny Weasley, stated earlier this evening that the team has suffered a big blow by the ten-point loss. A win against the Kenmare Kestrals would have brought the team to the semi-finals and given them a shot at playing in this year's World Cup.

Gwenog Jones, longtime team captain, says that the Harpies won't let this loss bring them down, and they'll be back practicing for next season as soon as they all have a good break. She goes on to say that they'll learn from their mistakes and utilize new formations, which should bring them a step closer next year.

Personally, I suspect the Nargles at the stadium had something to do with their bad performance in the last half hour of the match, enabling the other team's Seeker to catch the Snitch.

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Snapes Seen at the Ministry

by Rita Skeeter

Severus and Hermione Snape made an appearance today in London to meet with Dotty Dearborn, who insisted that Severus Snape had fathered her child while living in her home during the year after his supposed death. Severus agreed to a paternity test.

The woman made a scene and attempted to hex Hermione Snape in the foyer but was deftly disarmed. In a matter of minutes, it was learned that Mr. Snape is not the unborn child's father. In a twist of fate, the woman fainted and was Apparated to St. Mungo's. Tests show that she'd been Confunded heavily, and Healers were able to ascertain that someone made a mess of her memories.

In a statement from Minister Shacklebolt, we learn that Aurors have confirmed from a Pensieve memory that the man was none other than on-the-run Death Eater Donald Jugson. Charges may be brought against the woman for harboring a fugitive pending an investigation.

Minister Shacklebolt says, "Dark-wizard catchers have been dispatched to the area to see if they can pick up a trail on Jugson. Hopefully, he'll be brought back to England where he can stand trial for his crimes against us."

When asked to comment, Hermione Snape said, "What's to say? I knew Severus had nothing to do with the woman, so coming here for a paternity test was the least we could do to clear his name."

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Draco Malfoy Returns

by Dame Samantha Jones

In a strange turn of events, Draco Malfoy, who...along with his family...hasn't been seen in nearly two months was spotted exiting number twelve, Grimmauld Place earlier today with Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley in tow. It is unknown where the trio went upon Disapparating, but it's safe to assume that if the younger Malfoy has resurfaced, his father and mother won't be far behind.

If you will remember, Lucius Malfoy is being sought to make a statement in the charges brought against him by Muggle John Granger. The other two Malfoys are not wanted for questioning.

However, it was stated that Potter's hand had clasped one of young Malfoy's tightly upon exiting the home. How does this affect the relationship Potter has with Ginevra Weasley? Has Potter changed his mind? Is there trouble in paradise?

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Severus Snape Speaks Out

by Rita Skeeter

I was lucky enough to receive a letter from Severus Snape himself. He's refused to give me a proper interview, but I shall post his discourse here for you to read, as he didn't specifically ask me not to publish it.

Ms. Skeeter,

Severus T. Snape

There you have it, readers. If you read between the lines, I think it's safe to say that Severus Snape and his wife are having problems. It seems that he would like to have children, but she likely isn't interested. Either that is due to the accusations of the Dearborn woman or because...and I strongly believe this...that she is having second thoughts about their marriage. Of course, one can never believe what they read in rags such as the Wizarding Enquirer and The Quibbler.

Ronald Weasley's wife has returned to her home in France without him, and he's remained here...moving about from his parents' home and Potter's home. I would wonder if it wasn't he who had something going with Draco Malfoy if it hadn't been Potter who'd been seen holding the young man's hand. Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger parted when she left him for Severus Snape. Could it be that something's being rekindled? Is that why Snape obviously refuses to allow them to speak alone? Wouldn't old friends...only friends...not need a chaperone?

One can only wonder.

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Rita Skeeter from the Daily Prophet Fired

by Luna Lovegood

It appears that the Daily Prophet has made its best move in years by removing conniving, lying, word twisting Rita Skeeter from its staff. The Quibbler hopes to resume affiliation with the popular paper now that it's fired the woman behind its fall from grace.

Skeeter published a private letter written to her by Severus Snape against his express wishes not to. The letter had a hex placed on it by Hermione Snape in that if the reporter reproduced it in any way, pustules would break out on her face, spelling out the word: Bitch. Also, it would prompt those in charge to release her from her position...never to hire her again.

She's also wanted for questioning in an unrelated matter. It's become known that she is an unregistered Animagus and uses her form...a beetle...to obtain private information. She'd been given a warning in the past and was told to register herself but, obviously feeling she's above the law, never did so.

Please report her whereabouts to the Ministry of Magic immediately if you have information.

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Lucius Malfoy: Mentally Challenged?

by Dame Samantha Jones

Lucius Malfoy has good reason for not answering his summons to the Ministry to comment on charges filed against him by John Granger. He's been staying in a private facility in France, apparently seeking help in regards to a mental breakdown. Nothing more is known at this moment, but hopefully, with his return to his home under health care, he will be well enough to make a statement soon.

The Ministry is allowing Mr. Malfoy time to recuperate before requiring him to attend a hearing involving John Granger's complaint.

SW's Notes: And that should help to move things forward a little, giving you some background information. I had this idea when I started to write the next chapter, but then I realized that I had to move things forward a bit. I know that some things feel left out, but I will have explanations for the main plot points of course. Hope you enjoyed. It was kind of fun doing these little article snippets. Teehee.

Haha. I'm totally a fan of The Mummy movies, so you probably saw my little nod for them with the part about Imhotep's pyramid near Namun. LOL

Also, I rather like Friday the 13th dates despite the "bad luck lore" surrounding them. When I was little I adored the first few "Jason" movies. Snerk. One of my first boyfriends was born on a Friday the 13th in August. Bwahahaha. And my godchild is due on August 13th, so I just thought I'd use that. This old boyfriend, by the way, had the number 69 on his football jersey, and that's where I take the 69 from in my penname. So, those of you who associate the 69 with something naughty... Noperz. Not this time. However... hmmm, never mind. < / end SW chat>