How It All Began
You Can't Have One Without The Other
Chapter 23 of 31
RachelWSnape tells Hermione how things began with his sexual interests. Hermione goes for a job, and there is an interview in the paper with Gregory Ludwig.
ReviewedThanks to the wonderful, anal-retentive, Nakhash Mekashefah for beta-reading!!
And, with this chapter, I'm now current with this story here at The Petulant Poetess. New chapter is with my beta, and should be coming soon.
The first week in their new home was busy as well as enlightening. Severus spent Monday morning on his old broomstick, hovering over the house, casting a multitude of Repairing Charms on the broken tile shingles. He knew underneath the shingles there was likely a layer of rotting wood, but for the time being, he hoped only to fix it enough that they wouldn't be dripped upon when it rained. In the meantime, he cast as strong a Water Repelling Charm as he could over the roof. That should hold for a few weeks, at least. If he couldn't completely repair the roof before then, he could simply re-cast the charm.
When he came down for lunch, finding Hermione making herself a sandwich in the kitchen, he suggested they get started on the wards, and she followed his suggestion by showing him the multitude of books open on the old Formica dining table they'd taken from her parents' basement. He found her plans satisfactory, and so they began in tandem around the house, casting wards.
The first ward they cast was to prevent Apparation inside the house. They followed that by wards to repel people who had ignoble intentions, which would deter thieves, children snooping about (if there were any around, possibly over the tree covered hill to the back of the house), and salesmen. Snape suggested an anti-Muggle ward next, but Hermione pointed out her parents and their landlords were Muggles, so they couldn't do that. Personally, he didn't really see the problem, if her parents were coming for a visit they would know of it ahead of time and could let them through the wards, and he'd heard enough stories about nosy landlords that keeping them away seemed a wonderful idea to him. The wards would need to be refreshed weekly, but the first casting was the hardest. He was glad when he went inside to find Hermione pulling out a tin of chocolate biscuits, which she had obtained from her mother. The cupboards were bare, so they Apparated to Sleaton and ate at a curry house.
Wednesday, they both had to make a trip to Gringotts: Hermione for her interview, and Severus to exchange some Galleons for Muggle currency. They had shopping to do, as well.
"Oh, there he is," Hermione said as they entered Gringotts, returning a wave from Bill Weasley at the other side of the large main floor of the bank. "I'll see you later, back home?"
"I have a few things to attend to here, and then I will meet you outside Gringotts in an hour's time for the other things we need to do today." He watched her walk across the marble floor and greet Weasley, who cast him a hard look. Even after all his work for the Order, Bill Weasley still didn't like him. Severus took care of his business at the bank and left.
His first stop was at Slug and Jiggers, where he spoke with the proprietor about the potions he had offered to allow him to sell there for a small commission and picked up some potions ingredients. At Borgin and Burkes, he made a similar bargain, but knew that he would have to be more careful about the clientele he accepted, especially for some of the potions they would want.
An hour after leaving Gringotts, he went back to the bank. When he saw three figures standing at the foot of the stairs, two pale blond and one Hermione, he rushed forward, withdrawing his wand as he came to a stop beside Hermione, facing the younger and elder Malfoys. Draco glared at him.
"Think you're going to use that, do you?" Draco asked haughtily.
"You have no business with my wife; what are you doing?" he asked in a threatening tone. He spared a glance to Lucius, surprised to see the same aura of pride and prestige he had always worn.
"We have business at Gringotts, and as I am now a free man, I can go wherever I wish. If you think you're going to try to attack my father or me again, you have nothing to stand on in a court of law. Go ahead, I'm sure your Mudblood would be delighted to be free of you. Or, if you'd rather, I hear there's some Mudblood avenger out there killing off the pure-bloods, I'm sure they'll get to you soon enough."
"Severus, let's just go," Hermione said, grabbing his arm.
"Severus Snape," Lucius spoke smoothly, extending a hand, "I understand we were once ... friends?"
"Father!" Draco hissed, elbowing Lucius.
Severus did not accept the proffered hand, though he did lower his wand to his side, seeing they weren't trying anything outright. "At one time, yes, you and I were friends. However, our interests came into conflict in recent years," Severus said carefully. He looked into the cold grey eyes, wondering if he would see anything of the friend he had once been in their youth. Now, he could see that the Memory Charm might not have been as thorough as they thought, what with Draco to guide and train him again.
Lucius's lips pulled back in a cold smile. "Yes, Draco has told me all about that. However, I feel as if I'm a new man now, and at one time we did share quite a bit, did we not?"
"I have nothing to share with you now," Severus said coldly.
"That is...unfortunate," Lucius drawled, his grey eyes flicking over to Hermione for a moment. Severus wanted to hex him, but knew that here in the street, with dozens of witnesses, he could not. "I had hoped to perhaps renew our friendship, as I understand I was instrumental in bringing you together with your wife. Could I invite the two of you to dinner in my home? No hard feelings, let's let bygones be bygones and all that," he said with a smooth smile and a wave of his hand in a dismissive gesture.
"We must be going. Lucius, we have no more to say to one another." Severus turned, nearly dragging Hermione down the street with him.
"Did they try to hurt you?" he asked as they came to a stop around the bend. Once again, he had allowed his attention to slip, and had put Hermione in danger because of that.
"No, no...Draco was just being...well, Draco," Hermione said. "He was gloating about how he is free now, and how he had special attention from the testing committee who came to his house to give him his NEWTs ...I was about to walk away when you got there."
"What of Lucius?"
"He didn't say anything until you arrived...I didn't like the way he was looking at me, though," Hermione said, shuddering. "I'm fine, Severus, don't worry."
"I will be accompanying you on your public outings from now on," Severus declared.
"Severus, no! It was bad enough at Hogwarts when you had to walk with me everywhere; I'm not doing that again! I can protect myself. Besides, Bill said that employees at Gringotts are given a special key to Apparate inside the office, so when I start, I won't need to worry about that."
"So you have the job, then?"
"Yes, they're starting me at a rate of forty Galleons weekly, and it'll go up from there once I've finished my training. I'll start that next Monday."
"That is fortunate, then. But I would rather you not make yourself vulnerable."
"Severus, I've still got that amulet you gave me, so if something happens, you'll know about it...I can't hide forever. I'm not going to be taken everywhere; you can't be my bodyguard forever."
"Hermione..." Severus began, but trailed off. "We have things to do," he said instead. He knew he couldn't keep following her around, confining her movements just to keep her safe. And he also knew that even if the entire reason for their marriage were for him to protect her, he would have to find more subtle ways to do so now.
Hermione nodded, and they went on with their shopping at the grocer in Diagon Alley, then to the general store, where they purchased household items and toiletries. Hermione felt unsettled after the encounter with Draco and Lucius Malfoy, but at least felt confident that, with the extensive wards they had erected around their house, home would be a safe place.
Next, they stopped at the Owl Emporium and looked at the selections. There were Tawny Owls, Barn Owls, and Snowy Owls; a beautiful black Eagle Owl was perched in one corner of the shop. After looking around, Severus nodded to a Tawny owl. It was a mid-priced breed, one that was known for being reliable. They paid the shopkeeper and arranged for the owl to deliver them a letter later; they would simply keep the bird when it arrived.
They also went to the Ministry of Magic, found the Floo Network offices, and had their fireplace connected. Severus mentally subtracted the Galleons for the fee from his shrinking savings as he handed them to the clerk. Hermione stopped by the Daily Prophet office and informed them of her change of address.
Their landlord had arranged to have the utilities turned on, so they didn't need to pay the starting fees for those, at least. Hermione thought it would be good to look into getting a few Muggle things she'd missed having. A stereo, television, and computer would be good to get. However, she didn't have much money of her own at that point and decided she would wait until she had her own income to get those things. However, she did insist they go ahead and purchase paint.
Snape ended up touring the hardware section while Hermione selected cans of paint. They met up again at the register, where Snape counted out Pounds, glad that his spying duties had made it necessary for him to learn Muggle currency.
That evening, he used a few spells to imbed the ringed bolts he'd bought into one of the beams of their bedroom ceiling. He hung the chain he'd owned for years from it, a satisfied smile coming to his lips as he thought of what he would do that night with Hermione. He went downstairs and found her in one of the wingback chairs in the living room with a new, fairly narrow book.
"What are you reading?" he asked.
"A Gringotts employee handbook...Bill gave it to me this morning...I'm supposed to read all this before I start next week."
Severus's response was a noncommittal grunt, and he decided he should prepare dinner...something that would give her plenty of staying power, yet wouldn't make her too groggy. He stood and went to the kitchen, peering into the cupboards, then the icebox, which was making an annoying humming noise. He scowled at it, then looked behind it, remembering that Muggle electronics worked by way of a plug. It wasn't too far to reach and he unplugged it. Silence. He nodded in approval. A strong Cooling Charm cast daily on the icebox would be sufficient to keep food cold or frozen.
"Thanks for cooking," said Hermione, taking a bite of the chicken potpie Severus had made. "I'll cook tomorrow. I figure we can switch every other day, that would be fair."
"Agreed," was his short reply. They ate in silence, Hermione reading her employee handbook at the kitchen table. She levitated their dishes to the sink when they finished as Severus stood and looked into another cupboard.
"Have a bit of wine," Severus said, placing a glass down on the table before her a moment later. "Once you've finished with that, I'd like you sufficiently...relaxed," Severus said silkily. Hermione looked up, noting the way the corners of his eyes crinkled slightly and the relaxed set of his mouth as he sat at the table adjacent to her. "It's been some time since I've thoroughly thrashed you, young woman; you're long overdue."
Hermione's stomach fluttered at the sound of his voice, and she looked back down to her handbook, rather coolly, she thought. "Yes, I suppose it has been," she agreed, scanning the page before her. She was still curious about his history so decided this would be a good time to ask him. He seemed relaxed. "I'm wondering..." she mused, taking a sip of her wine, "if you'd tell me about the first time you whipped...spanked...well, you know. I've been quite curious as to how it is you got into it..." She glanced up to him, just for a moment, giving him a confidently curious expression, before she looked back down to her reading.
"And what, precisely, is it that you are curious about? Would you want to know what colour her hair was, where we were, if she asked for it or if I decided she simply deserved it?"
"Yes, all of the above," Hermione answered solidly.
"I see..." said Severus, sitting back, crossing his ankles. "I suppose I could ...tell you a story," he said with a note of humour. Hermione pushed her reading aside to listen.
"I was sixteen...it was actually the second sexual encounter of my life at that point...the first is hardly worth speaking of. I was staying the summer at Malfoy Manor, soon to start my sixth year at Hogwarts...yes, Lucius was a good friend of mine, then. Lucius, ever the ladies' man, had just begun seeing Narcissa...unfortunately, he had neglected to tell his other lady-friends about that, and when one showed up, thinking herself welcome, he pulled me aside and took us to the cellar before Narcissa could see her." Severus was wearing a smile as he thought of the memory.
"Now, Lucius had given her explicit instructions that she was not to come without first receiving word, by Floo or owl, that he was available for her, and so he explained to her that she would be punished, but as he didn't have the time to do it -- Narcissa was upstairs and he was serious about courting her, you see -- that I would be delivering her punishment, and that if she did not care for that option, she could leave, but that she shouldn't bother trying to come back or contacting him again. He handed me a leather strap, ordered her to disrobe, and told me to deliver her twenty lashes, and after that to enjoy myself as I wished, but that I shouldn't be late for tea, which was two hours later.
"So, I did. The young woman - her name was Belinda - I came to learn was quite experienced in receiving punishments; so much so that a simple strapping across her backside was little more than a warm up. I found I greatly enjoyed the initial deliverance of her punishment, and when I was finished with the twenty lashes, I didn't want to stop. Lucius had told me not to be too hard on her since he said I didn't know exactly how much would be too much, but since she was experienced, I decided she would be perfect to learn to gauge that sort of thing, so I began a game...do keep in mind, I was sixteen and rather inexperienced, so it didn't turn out quite as I intended it to at the time...
Severus Snape swung the strap again, remembering Lucius's words 'do it hard for this'...twelve...thirteen...fourteen...he looked upon the naked, blonde woman who was on her hands and knees on the floor before him. She stiffened and gasped at each blow, and he felt conflicted in doing it, but there was something about the sharp red marks on the pale skin of her buttocks and the backs of her thighs, and the sound of her soft moans that gave him a thrill. She was breathing heavily, panting in shaky breaths. He was worried for a moment, but she didn't seem to be crying or truly upset...and Lucius did this to her often enough, if she didn't like it she wouldn't keep coming back. Severus looked down, seeing his erection poking his robes out rather obviously when he finished with twenty strokes...he wanted to take her. Lucius said he could enjoy her as he saw fit...but would she agree to that?
He crossed his arms, making sure there was a hard scowl on his face. His hair fell down over his face. "Turn around," he said. He was delighted when she complied...would she really do whatever he told her to do? "You've been a bad girl," he said next...immediately thinking that sounded like the stupidest thing he could say. The look on the woman's face seemed to reflect that; she rolled her eyes, looking perturbed.
"Lucius did say I could enjoy you as I wished. So, what shall I do with you?" he mused, raking his hair back out of his face, and seriously hoping she might have a suggestion.
"Just how old are you, anyway?" she asked, an eyebrow quirked up in amusement.
"I'll be seventeen in January," he answered defensively. He thought she looked to be in her mid-twenties, the same age as one of his teachers, in fact. The woman smiled at him, rather patronisingly, he thought...but then, she stilled her features as she looked up at him from where she knelt on the floor.
"Well, since Lucius said you could have me, I'll do whatever you tell me to do," she told him with a smile. "So, what would you like me to do?"
"I know it may strike you as strange, Hermione, but there was a point at which I truly didn't know what to do with a woman on her knees in front of me," said Severus.
Hermione smiled, in a way it was certainly good to hear that at one time even Severus had been out of sorts in a sexual situation.
"So it sounds like she was perfect for you, then, gave you a good introduction?" she said, hoping he would continue with the story. She decided she'd broach the subject of why he'd been staying at Malfoy Manor during his summer break, later. "Wait! Your birthday is in January? You never told me!"
"Birthdays cease to have much meaning past a certain point...I stopped bothering with it at twenty-five. Not much point to making a big deal about it."
"When is it?"
"The ninth of January, if you must know. Now, do you want to hear about this or not?"
"Yes, sorry...keep going."
"She had given me a decent enough introduction to do what I wished...and, as I lacked imagination at sixteen, the only thing I could think of was what I'd seen in a few magazines the boys kept under their beds in the dormitory at Hogwarts...
Severus's cock was aching; he could feel his balls pulling up tightly. "I want...I want you to...suck me," declared Snape, nearly breathless. He gasped as the woman moved forward, took his hand, and then took his ring finger in her mouth and sucked. Of course, that wasn't what he wanted.
"Not like that!" he exclaimed, snatching his hand back and regretting the slight tinge of whine that suffused his voice.
"No? How about like this?" she asked, then stood and sucked on his earlobe after pushing his hair back. That time, Severus took a few moments to back away, that had felt rather good, but he was still perturbed; she was being dense. Of course she should know where he wanted her to suck him.
"No! You should know what I mean," he said harshly to her.
"I'm sorry, was I a bad girl? Maybe you should punish me again..." She took a step back, her eyes filled with laughter. "I know when Lucius really wants to punish me, he uses that flogger over there, and beats me across my breasts. It's truly a horrible punishment," she assured him, nodding.
Without truly thinking about it, Severus took the flogger off the wall, placing the strap back on a hook. "Fine," he spat, "I'll punish you with this, then!"
"Oh, to make it even worse, he ties my hands to that chain over there," she said, nodding to the chain which hung from the ceiling.
"Really?" he said, his voice a bit higher than he meant it to be. He quickly cleared his throat. "You'll regret that, then," he said, thinking he sounded much more authoritative. He quickly found some rope, wrapped it around her wrists, then took her under the chain and looped the rope through the end of it. He hefted the flogger in his hand, then whipped it across her chest.
"Oh...you're so...gentle," said the woman, smiling at him. "If Lucius knew how easy you were on me, he'd probably have to beat me all over again, just to be sure I've learned my lesson."
Severus got mad then. She was taunting him; how dare she taunt him? He pulled back with the flogger and with all his might, whipped it across her breasts. He was satisfied when he heard her gasp and saw that her eyes went wide. He set his jaw and continued whipping her harshly, delighting in the way her breasts shook when the flogger hit them and the small whimpering sounds she was beginning to make. Her breasts were red when he stopped.
"Still think I'm gentle?" he growled at her.
It took her a moment to catch her breath. "No...no, sir. I'm sorry I was being so thick...may I suck your cock now, sir?" she asked. Severus glared at her, almost thinking she was mocking him again, but she seemed sincere. He reached up and untied her hands, noticing that he'd tied her so badly she'd had to hold the ropes to keep her hands in them.
"Yes, you may suck my cock now," he said. He watched in fascination as she knelt in front of him, lifted his robes, stroked his balls with her fingers and then opened her lips, taking him deep in her mouth. Of course, being sixteen, he didn't have much control and came in less than a minute. He was almost afraid she would laugh at him, but she didn't. She actually knelt there and swallowed his come, all of it, then smiled up at him.
"Now, sir...what else may I do for you?"
"Of course, I was quite ready for more in only a moment. It didn't take me long to figure out her 'reverse psychology' act, I may have been naive but I wasn't stupid. It was a good thing, too, that that particular implement was relatively safe for even the most ignorant and inexperienced wielder. But by then I was enjoying myself too much to be mad about it anymore." Severus chuckled. "I ended up missing tea entirely. I saw her a few more times, she actually taught me a lot...oddly enough, while I held the whip, she completely controlled what happened. However, I believe the last time I saw her I surprised her there..." He drifted off with a slight smile, then turned his focus back on Hermione. "So, there you have it, the first time I whipped someone."
"Well, sounds like you enjoyed yourself. So after that...what did you like about it so much that you would only have sex if you could do it that way?"
A pensive expression crossed his face then as he thought about it. "My specific reasons at that point in my life ...." He trailed off, tapping a finger against his lips.
His dark eyes turned to Hermione then, and he continued, "There is something to say for the feeling of holding a person's very life in your hands...of the feeling that someone would put themselves in that position, that they would accept and even learn to enjoy pain and discomfort." His voice was low and hypnotic as he spoke, then leaned forward. Hermione's breathing and heart-rate accelerated as his hand brushed her throat, and then he stood over her, his other hand behind her head, wrapping in the hair at the base of her skull as he pulled her to her feet.
"Do you trust me, Hermione?" he whispered, his fingers pressing softly against her throat.
She had a feeling she knew what he wanted to do; he'd had his hand at her throat before. But he wanted her to answer the question, and thereby acknowledge she understood what he wanted. "Yes, I trust you, Severus," she whispered. Then, she felt his fingers press into her throat, felt the pounding of her blood under his fingers. She looked into his black, intense eyes, clutching at his shoulders as she felt a tingling begin in her hands and feet...her breath passed through her throat raggedly, and then the web of flesh between his thumb and forefinger pressed against her windpipe.
"Trust me, Hermione," he whispered fiercely. Her mouth opened slightly as she fought the natural urge to gasp for breath she couldn't take...her knees buckled, but he quickly brought his leg up, propping his foot on the chair to support her. Her vision tunnelled down to one small point before her, in which she saw only his eyes as he closed them, then bent his head, taking her mouth in a kiss. Her hands couldn't hold him any longer, and they fell limply to her sides. His tongue against hers was the last thing she felt as consciousness left her.
She was in his arms and could hear his footsteps as he climbed the stairs. She opened her eyes, seeing the threshold of their bedroom door as they went through it. She stirred slightly.
"Be still," he murmured.
She relaxed, then as he lowered her feet to the floor, stood with little problem. He pulled her hands over her head, binding her wrists quickly with rope, then attached the rope to the chain. His hands moved down her arms, then stopped at her collar. He unbuttoned her robes, then pulled them up over her body, wrapping them around her hands as well. He drew her bra up her arms, then her knickers down her legs, and stood back, flicking his wand and igniting the candles around the room.
Severus walked behind her, and Hermione turned in place to see him open the window-seat trunk. He stood with nothing in his hands, however, then looked to her, tilting his head to the side in a contemplative gesture as he crossed his arms.
"What do you want tonight?" he asked.
Hermione looked at him a moment, surprised by the question. While she knew she could say 'no' at any time, and had initiated sex between them before, he'd only ever given her a choice between a few actions before, never an open-ended question. But already, her skin was tingling in anticipation of a whip or flogger or strap...she wanted it, and more.
"I want...first, the anal plug, please," she said. Severus's lips curled up and he reached into the trunk, withdrawing it along with a bottle of lotion. He spread the lotion over the object as he approached her.
"Spread your legs," he murmured. She did so and focused on relaxing as he positioned the plug at her entrance. She moaned in pleasure as he slowly slid it in place and she flexed her muscles, causing it to move slightly within her. Hermione writhed slightly. "And now?" he prompted.
"Now, the strap." She steadied herself, planting her feet firmly on the floor together as he retrieved the supple leather strap. His story about using it had set her mind running...but she wondered why he wanted her to set the pace, choose the actions tonight. Hermione gasped as the strap landed across the top of her buttocks, jumping slightly as the pain laced across her and she waited for the next blow to fall, but it didn't. She turned her head to the side to look at him.
"Just how thorough a strapping do you believe you are up to?"
Hermione felt disappointed in the delay. Her nerves were humming, her body heating with desire...she knew after a strapping it would only intensify. Why was he waiting for her to tell him how much of a strapping she wanted? He had always been able to judge just how much she could take and how much she couldn't take. She thought for a moment, however, and answered "Forty." He smiled at her, and raised the strap...
The rope cutting into her wrists, the strap falling repeatedly in a steady rhythm, never in the same spot twice, but a perfectly predictable pattern beginning with the top of her buttocks, then moving down to the middle of her thighs, and back up again. She gasped and groaned as each stroke fell, her buttocks would clench and the plug within her would move, spurring her on to higher levels of tension...and just as it was bordering on too much, he stopped; forty strokes had been delivered. Hermione's breathing quickly returned to a deep, steady pattern.
"You enjoyed that, didn't you?"
"Yes," she gasped.
"So, what would you have next?"
"I want..." she thought quickly, but still, was a bit shaken out of the mood, "I want...use the strap between my legs, from behind," she finished as she spread her legs apart. Her clit was aching and the entire region tingled with need.
"How many times?" he asked.
"I oh eight," she said quickly, growing slightly annoyed. She closed her eyes, this time nearly squealing and rising up on her toes as he swung the strap underhanded, causing it to fly up between her legs, curling around and snapping just at her pubic bone. The searing sting was wonderful, and she mentally counted eight blows...her labia burned and stung when he finished, and she brought her legs back together, rubbing them closely and writhing slightly.
The sound of the strap falling in the trunk was followed by Severus's voice. "And what shall I do next?"
"Um nipple clamps," said Hermione, "and and the horsehair flogger..."
Soon enough, clamps weighted her nipples, and she sighed and gasped as the horsehair flogger was swished in a fast rhythm all over her upper body, stinging sweetly.
"And now?" he asked after several minutes of flogging her.
Once again, Hermione was broken from the building tension. "Just I do what you want, please...this is so much better when you tell me what to do!" she exclaimed, exasperated. His laugh surprised her.
"Very well. Turn around." She did and saw him pulling the bullwhip from the trunk. He smiled as he shook it loose, trailing it on the floor behind him, but then scowled at it, pointed his wand, and it shrunk by more than half its length. "This room is entirely too small," he declared, then swished the whip, judging its action in the shorter form, and swung.
As the whip fell repeatedly, snapping at her nipples, wrapping around her body or legs, Hermione let her head fall back, and she simply enjoyed the sensation of the burning and stinging as it spread over her body. He whipped her from either side, causing the tail of the whip to crack across her back as it wrapped around her, or the especially sharp sting as he wrapped it around her already-tender buttocks. He stopped, and then approached her, drawing his fingers gently over her body, tweaking her nipples and rolling them between his fingers after he'd removed the clamps and tossed them in the trunk.
One hand crept down, stroking between her legs. "I shall release your arms, then you are to suck my balls," said Severus firmly. He untangled her robes from around her hands, then untied them. She dropped to her knees as he pulled his robes off, and grasped his cock, stroking it with her hand as she opened her mouth, taking his balls and rolling them around, laving them with her tongue. He pulled her away and sat on the edge of the bed and beckoned for her to continue. When she did, he reached down and rolled her nipples between his fingers slowly.
"Get up here," he said finally, and Hermione, not needing much encouragement, quickly straddled him. He pushed her hips down as he lay back fully, arching his body up to meet her and she rolled her hips, filling herself with his cock. He moved one leg slightly upward, so that every time she came down on him, it moved the plug in her arse; the sensation was soon overwhelmingly intense.
Afterwards, she lay draped over him; their bodies were still joined as they relaxed in the afterglow. "And just what point was it you were trying to make earlier?" Hermione asked sleepily.
"It wasn't a particular point, Hermione. However, it did confirm what I'd thought..."
"Oh? What was that?" She summoned the energy to roll off of him and tucked herself against his side, laying her head on his chest.
"That you really have become accustomed to me."
"Mmm," she hummed. "I've gotta get up now and get this thing out, too," sighed Hermione, not particularly feeling like moving.
"Run a bath; I'll join you in a moment."
While running the bathwater, Hermione realised that he had never quite answered the question regarding why he enjoyed the feeling of having someone submit to him like that. But he was sixteen at the time...she remembered that Sirius Black had called him 'Snivellus' then. She wondered what on earth it had been that had made him cry at one point...and if that had anything to do with him staying at Malfoy Manor for his summer vacation...that must have been when he was introduced to the Death Eaters, too.
*****
Their new owl arrived with a receipt the next morning as they were having breakfast. Soon following it was Harry's owl. He'd written to congratulate her on her job and to give his NEWTs scores. Next, the Daily Prophet was delivered and Hermione began reading. There was an interview on page two with the head of the new Department of Marriage Law Recovery.
Mr Ludwig, what is it you hope to accomplish through this new department?
It is the position of the Ministry of Magic, and the Department of Marriage Law Recovery, that the Marriage Law was a travesty of justice to one hundred sixty-eight Muggle-born women, and indeed, the Wizarding world itself. The person who was largely responsible for the passing of the law met with an unfortunate, but understandably justified, permanent memory-loss at the hands of another suitor of a Muggle-born witch he wished to have for himself. There is no sense taking action against him now, but we have set up safeguards to assure Wizarding Britain that such a travesty shall not occur again. As to what we are doing now, we've already taken steps to ensure that the women who were forced into these marriages have resources available to them in the form of counselling, and protection if they find themselves in dangerous positions.
What are your thoughts about the serial-killer who seems to be targeting the men of these marriages?
Of course, we are against vigilantism. No matter how understandably relieved some of these women have been to be free of their abusive husbands, not all of the pure-bloods who were married under the law are abusive, in fact, I have been working closely with one woman, Treva Bulstrode, who arranged her own marriage with someone she thought would be compatible. She has also been heading up a support group for Muggle-born victims of the law, which was started by another Muggle-born victim of the law. She assures me that a good portion of the women, while they aren't exactly in marriages of love, are getting along reasonably well....
Hermione scowled, suddenly realising that even though she hadn't been completely qualified to run the support group and had handed over control to Treva willingly, she resented being referred to as simply 'another Muggle-born victim of the law'. However, she read on.
This killer should be found and stopped. If this person believes himself to be helping the Muggle-born women, he is mistaken. There have been five women I have spoken to personally who were very distraught at the loss of their husbands, three of which would be raising children without a father. We are taking steps to identify abusive situations and to prosecute men who have taken undue advantage of that horrible law. There have already been twenty-one arrests in clearly abusive situations, and investigations continue. So please, whoever this person is, I hope he stops or is stopped by the law. Indiscriminate murder cannot accomplish true justice.
You have lost someone close to you personally because of this law, is that correct?
Yes. My fiancée, who was a Muggle-born, was petitioned under the terms of the Marriage Law only two months before we were to be married. As I am a half-blood, I did not qualify under the law to petition her. She was forced to marry a man who is now in Azkaban for her murder. I work every day to honour her memory and hope that she knows how very much I loved her, and that I will stop at nothing to ensure that no one ever again has to go through what she did.
Hermione swiped her eyes with the back of her hand quickly as she read on.
As many of you may already know, there have been twelve murders in the last four months, all of them pure-blood men who took advantage of the Marriage Law. The identity of the killer still baffles Magical Law Enforcement, who seem powerless to do anything to stop the criminal. But the question remains, is it justice being visited upon these men, or the quest of a madman...or woman? The Daily Prophet will keep you up to date...
Hermione glanced up to see Severus bent over a parchment at the table; he appeared to be writing lists of potions to make. It could have been so much worse, she thought. Unbidden, an image came to her mind of Lucius Malfoy and what might have happened that day in Diagon Alley if he had won against Severus in the duel. Severus had considered him a friend at one time...Severus had even learned his particular sexual tastes because of that man...but she knew he would have been nothing like Severus.
"Severus...the women you knew, the ones Lucius Malfoy introduced you to...based on that, it sounded like he was...well, the one you told me about didn't seem like she was terribly abused...would he have..."
"He changed after the second return of the Dark Lord. When he was younger, he wasn't the same man...and the time he spent in Azkaban did something to him, too. If he had been the man he was in his youth, then there wouldn't have been as great a concern when he petitioned you for marriage. But," his eyes met hers solidly, "I've no doubt that if he had succeeded in obtaining you, you would not have survived for long."
"What about now? He could be different...after receiving the Memory Charm..."
"Perhaps. But I'd rather not associate with him again. At one time, I had hoped that Draco would be a fine young man, as well, but they have been offended, and they are dangerous. Draco is even worse than his father was, and he has been able to keep Lucius under his thumb." His mouth turned down in a frown. "They may forget, find other things to do...but I wouldn't underestimate either of them."
Hermione nodded, then placed the newspaper down on the table for Severus to read if he wanted. She decided to get a letter written to Harry and Ron, who were soon to be roommates. She was out of earshot when Severus muttered: "I assure you, Hermione...they will never harm you."
A/N: Forty Galleons a week is equal to 200 UK Pounds a week, or 293 American Dollars a week according to the Harry Potter Lexicon's Muggle-Wizard money converter found here: http://www.hp-lexicon.org/wizworld/galleons.html
DO NOT TRY THAT AT HOME Breath-play and blood-flow play can be EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. It should not be attempted by someone who is not very experienced.
If anyone is curious about the strap used on Hermione, this illustration is a good example: http://www.cobrawhips.com/misc01.html
As to the whip, a shorter version of a bullwhip is good for areas in which space is tight: http://www.cobrawhips.com/snake02.html
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Latest 25 Reviews for You Can't Have One Without The Other
254 Reviews | 5.03/10 Average
I have loved this fic, but I didn't like Ashwinder version 's ending, that ending was so unfair to Severus and it ruined whole story for me, but now I'm glad I found this version, I'm loving this ending, though it's not right or perfect but I can't see my Severus heart broken again and I absolutely love a morally grey and dark Severus ..... Overall the story was amazing, so well written and Smut was mind-blowing, I wish we could have more smut when Hermione returned to Severus in ending and some more story in detail,may be a whole chapter on how she went back to Severus, from Uni to moving into an apartment,their holiday, how she distant herself from her friends, how Severus keeps on giving her potion and how is there se* life now, does Severus still prefer dom-sub kind of stuff, does she enjoy that - I wish we could have all of this in detail in a whole new chapter...... Thank you for this wonderful story and this "Happy for Severus" ending 👍🏻😍
I love how you have them both sticking it out, yet hurting themselves in the process. Most stories have them revolve their problems quickly or just have a brief paragraph saying some time has passed. Great job!
This has been an amazing story. It's everything I want in this type. Snape is a rude, disagreeable person, yet he does care about Hermione in his own way. They are easing into his sexual preference without the typical 'and then she suddenly discovers how much it turns her on.' Even after she allows herself to give in, she isn't totally his slave. And there is some other parts of the story that arent completly revolving around their relationahip. (There could be just a bit more of that) Thankyou! This is such a wonderful story!
I guess this story must have been written before we learned that Snape was a half-blood. Oh, well. I'll just think of it as AU, I guess. :-)
Good lord. So you've made it so that he really IS an abusive and controlling asshole. I'm sorry that's what you wanted to do with this story; I'm afraid I prefer happy endings in fan fiction.
Well, THAT'S a twist I didn't see coming! Very clever trick, to keep Lucius waiting in the wings like that, after we'd all written him off as disabled. :-)
I'm a Heinlein fan, too! Stranger in a Strange Land changed my life when I read it at the age of 12, so none of his other books could ever mean to me what that one did. Still, I read and re-read The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, Time Enough for Love, I Will Fear No Evil, and many others. Thanks for working Heinlein into this story; it's fun to see the references to his books.
Heh. Love the dream at the end.
I'm astonished that Severus would be willing to spend THREE WEEKS with Hermione's parents. One week seems like plenty to me! So I'd say he's bent over backwards to be nice ... and I'm usually on Hermione's side. :-)
Lovely ending.
The ending of this made me a bit sad, but I didn't find it 100% OOC for Severus as some other reviews have stated. Love the story - very well written. Thank you so much for sharing. :)
I liked it :) but I think the ending should have been drawn out just a little more. Because drugging someone isn't really love,or at least not in my opinion. I think it would have been better if she didn't get the potion like in the alternate ending, but they still went on the dates and got to know each other. Hermione really cared for him and it would have turned to love. But it was good overal. The other ending made me cry to be honest. It just seemed like such an un hermione thing to do...but keep writing your good :)
No, no, no, anything apart from Malfoy. LOL enjoying your contract fic very much. Like the road you are taking, uncomfortable for HG but has the bat got a sense of humour after all? We shall see as they say. Off to read some more.
Thanks.
The picture of control, honesty and choice,you paint,
is very telling. This started a lot of deep thoughts. - not least in your personal replies to people's passionate letters to you.
Please do keep writing you have a Real talent.
But you did break my heart with both your endings: that two highly intelligent people couldn't let themselves find joy and freedom with each other. together with common sense, and self- awareness, tempered with humour.
Good luck in your new life, and admiration for the bravery and strength, it must have taken to build a new life.
For now I am speechless.
On some times I thought, Goodness ist there anything other than spanking, whipping and fucking all around? This should not mean I didn´t enjoy it in some ways, and after thinking about this I had come to the Decision that your descriptions showed a lot about the live Severus and Hermione had and in which ways they tried to come together.
(I believe I should not write reviews, when I´m tired)
But your end of your Fanfiction was startling. I didn´t expect a lovely happy Couple, whom lived happily together after discussing their Problems. I expected rahter a Couple that had many Problems to deal with each other, but which were also trying.
Your take of an End, was highly surprising and unexpected, but I like it. :)
Best wishes
Dawndancer
I've just read your story and was very impressed that I was so invested in the plot. A sign of a great author is to make the characters very real to the reader. This you accomplised beautifully. However the ending was heartbreakingly dissappointing. I am not averse to un-happy endings when called for but this ending didn't ring true for me.
LOL Loved when Severus' rooms became a bit too overcrowded for his style :)
Haha, well played Albus with the "honeymoon" surprise LOL
Wow, seemed like Lucius to not give up easily..
great chapter, im looking forward to reading the rest of the fic :)
LMAO
That ending was such an anti climax.
what happened? did you get bored writing the story?
On another level the ending is humerous in its absurdity...
I thought that Snape loved her? He resorted to mind control in the end.
hhmmmm
comment?
xoxo
i thoroughly enjoyed you dissecting the power dynamic of the relationship though.
Thanks for you time and imagination
up to chapter 29 it was excellent. some minor quibbles but generally a delight to read - absolutely lapping it up! You have an amazing talent for storytelling. From 29 on however the characters seemed to fall to pieces and IMO no longer conformed with the profiles you had constructed for them thusfar - it became actually infuriating to read - and then the ending was of course just obscene. Rushed and incredibly disturbing (which is a feat considering some of the other quite prickly ideas in the story that went down smoothly) - and worst of all feeling like something tacked on at the last minute or as an afterthought. Perhaps you had grown sick of your own creations by then. It was very disappointing to have laboured with these characters for so long.. to have it all end in a manner neither satisfying nor plausible (and either of the two would have been sufficient really). It was a great story - but a rotten ending.
I've been reading this story since you first started posting it on Ashwinder, and have only now actually put fingers to keyboard to review it.
I loved the way this story was written. Excellent descriptive scenes, lots of Snarky!Snape and an interesting plot. However, the ending is too rushed and extremely disappointing. I've read both endings and feel the same way about both. Whilst the ending on Ashwinder is a more probable ending, I couldn't help but feel that it needed fleshing out a bit more, not to mention the blatant out-of-characterness of both Snape and Hermione. You did so well to keep them both in character throughout the majority of the story, only to have them change in the last couple of chapters. I'll be honest - I hated TPP ending. Not plausible at all, and also very OOC.
It's very obvious that you were getting bored of this story and wanted it finished as soon as possible for the sake for your readers. One thing I learned from writing fan fiction is that if you write purely for the sake of reviews, then your story is doomed from the start. If you ever consider re-writing any part of this, please re-do the ending chapters and preferably using the Ashwinder ending as that was the better of the two.
I have now read both endings, and I find that I disagree with you and most of your reviewers who would claim that either one was a good ending for this story. Now I don't intend this to be a flame, so please just hear me out.Certainly I, like most people, would have liked to see Hermione and Severus end up together (voluntarily) for the simple romantic appeal. But my dislike for these two endings goes beyond that.So you chose to end this story either with them splitting up or together because Severus was controlling Hermione. Great, fine, whatever - brave of you to do something outside of the normal SS/HG stories. However, I do not see the image that most of your reviewers seem to see - an author who sacrificed the popular ending for the more in-character or better-suited ending. No, what I see is an author who was consciously seeking to break the mold of happily-ever-after stories, to do something dramatic and unexpected simply because it was dramatic and unexpected. An author seeking to set up a story that intentionally seemed to follow a normal SS/HG plotline, just so that she could say, "Haha, fooled you!" at the end.Now, I certainly don't mean to suggest that doing the unexpected is a bad thing - unexpected twists and turns are what make these stories worth reading even though there are common plotlines that run through many of them. But when an author sacrifices story flow, plausibility and character for mere shock value, it falls a little flat.And yes, before you protest, I think that you did sacrifice plausibility and character. You clearly sold the ending to your audience using the Severus-is-a-control-freak ploy. But I think that it is just that - a ploy. And I think that a lot of your readers fell for it. But you can't write 30 chapters of great story (don't get me wrong, I liked the story a lot), filled with good plot and character development, and then follow this up with a chapter in which your characters have apparently regressed essentially to the way they were at the very beginning. Well, I guess you can - you're the author - but I just don't buy it. The Severus that appeared in chapter 29 was not the same Severus that featured in chapter 31 - or even chapter 30. Severus 29 realized that he loved Hermione and was beginning to regret his control-freakishness. I do not find it remotely feasible that this Severus can be the same as Severus 31 who would go right back to controlling tactics without any apparent hesitation.But what, you ask, do I expect Severus to do when just as he realizes he loves Hermione, she abandons him without a backwards glance? As it turns out, I find Hermione's characterization in the last couple of chapters equally problematic. In fact, I think that Hermione 30/31 is perhaps more out-of-character than Severus 31. Yes, I can accept that having undergone so much and suddenly having the opportunity to really have a choice for the first time, she might have some second thoughts, might want to take a break to really have some time on her own, apart from Severus, to really analyze the situation. But I do not find it remotely plausible that she would ditch Severus completely and go off to a University without resolving their issues. For one thing, Hermione Granger is not the kind of person who would go off, leave unsolved problems behind, and then make a decision on these problems once she is far removed from the situation. That is, as they call it, the coward's way out, and Hermione is nothing if not honorable and Gryffindorish.And once again, after 30 chapters in which she undergoes a great deal of character development and comes to at least like Severus (even if you don't want her to fall in love with him), I do not find it remotely plausible that she would choose to abandon him and sever all ties with him without any discussion or conversation with him whatsoever. I don't really find it likely that she would leave him at all, but even if she were going to, I do not believe for one second that she would do so without talking to him and hearing him out - after all, isn't that what she kept demanding of him throughout the story? That he not make decisions and take stances uncompromisingly, without acknowledging her perspective? So what kind of a hypocrite would she be if she really would do what you have her doing?So while you may or may not agree with me, I do think that your characters in the last chapter or two are drastically different from the people that you had shaped by the end of chapter 29. Both the control-freak Severus and the I-need-time-to-think Hermione seem to me to be very thinly veiled rationalizations for you as the author doing what you wanted to do with the story, even when it didn't really fit. And I think that is possibly the worst mistake an author can make - trying to force a story to do what she wants it to, or what she imagines it ought to do, when the story wants to go somewhere different. As I said earlier, I have no problems with an author who goes into a story with the desire to write something unexpected. Something different. Something unique. I as a writer have shared that desire many times. But I think that in your attempts to mislead us readers, to make us think that this was just like all the other SS/HG stories, you ended up writing a story that was like the other SS/HG stories. But then you still tried to make it fit your idea of what you had intended to write, and frankly, I think it shows.Now, you may not really appreciate this after all of the rest of what I just said, or you may not think me entirely sincere, but I want to make it quite clear that I definitely thought that this was a very good story - which is probably why I felt inclined to leave such a lengthy, passionate review (if I didn't like it, I wouldn't have bothered, and if I didn't like the rest of it, I wouldn't have felt so strongly about the ending). So just for the record, I thought that it was well-written, and that - as I may have hinted earlier - there was very good character development through most of it. Other than the ending, your characters were engaging, believable, consistent...which, as I said, is why the ending is so jarring and dissatisfying. Because it's so not in keeping with the rest.You probably don't agree with me, and even if you did I don't imagine that you would bother to change the ending, but it seemed that most of your readers were inclined to just accept your flimsy surface justifications for Hermione's and Severus's actions, even though these justifications were not supported by the rest of your depictions of their characters. So I felt obligated to present my perceptions, even if they goes against the majority opinion. Take it or leave it, but there it is. And thank you for the story.
Response from RachelW (Author of You Can't Have One Without The Other)
Wow, what a long review. Hmm... and it's been a while too, though I was curious what might be going on with the fanfic and thought I'd check on it.What happened the last few chapters was that I just could not write what I'd started out intending to write. When I began this story in 2004 (wow), I was working hard to make myself believe i was happy being stuck in a miserable marriage to a manipulative person who spent a lot of thought and energy keeping me from directing my energy and talents into the real world. I had few friends, and every time I began developing a friendship with anyone who was functional and somewhat available, he made sure it didn't last long. By 2008 when I finished this story I was going to school full time and working part time at a local gym, and my carefully cultivated illusion that I was happy had been completely shattered. Along with that, all my carefully concocted ideals about a promise being everything, about anything being workable, about enough love/being good enough/something else could change a person, or make a manipulator become something else.What happened at chapters 30/31 was a major shift in my understanding of the world and of people, and my best attempt to wrap up a story so I could move on with my life (I like finishing things, you see). I just could not write what I had intended when I was writing chapter 24 or therabouts... it just wouldn't happen. Dec 2008 I moved out on my own, no idea how I was going to make it. My ex has made every effort to cause me problems, and is still dragging the legal end of things on because he has to punish me for leaving him. I've had some interesting challenges, I've become self employed, I've found happiness in a great comunity where my ex can't keep me from having supportive, functional friends through manipulations like he did when I was with him, trapped mainly by my belief (which he encouraged strongly) that I was incapable of making it alone. He would use 'martial arts sparring' as a cover to 'accidentally' twist my forearms/wrists and exaserbate my tendonitis which kept me from working as a massage therapist for years.Tomorrow I'm having a ribbon-cutting cerimony with the local Chamber of Commerce to celebrate the opening of my office. I've supplemented massage income with housecleaning, freelance copy-editing (thanks to my beta-reading experience), and other odd jobs. In retrospect I've realized writing this story was a major part of coming to grips with the reality of what my marriage was, even when I didn't know that's what I was writing about. The BDSM was just the fun stuff to make the story interesting, but deep down it was about my attempt to justify to myself that I had made a terrible choice to be with someone because I believed I was incapable of being alone, and felt trapped by having a child with him. I desperately wanted to "make it right" and this story was my attempt to make something wrong right by making Hermione just be good enough to fix Snape. Manipulators, alas, don't change... and the flow of the story stopped when I tried to make wrong things be right.If anyone is interested in what I'm doing now: http://reliefbyrachel.com
While I thought the story started out pretty well, the middle got a little angsty for my taste, but I stuck it out, only to be disappointed in the end. Hermoine, in a potion-induced state of bliss. While I wouldn't put it past Snape, it's just a terrible way to end the story. I can think of a number of different endings, though, honestly, I can't think of any way to tie them to the established story.
Whoa ! I came from reading the other ending on Ashwinder and fair play to you, this is in keeping with the selfish controlling rotten Snape that she married. I was buying the potential happy ending (he's changed !) right up to the point where she drops out of college. The last bit about giving her the potion every 6-9 months is crushing - but thats how vile he is. To control her is everything.