Pensieve
You Can't Have One Without The Other
Chapter 27 of 31
RachelWSnape workes to find Hermione, while Hermione learns more of what Lucius is trying to tell her.
ReviewedThanks to my beta, Nakhash Mekashefah, for her meticulous beta-reading work.
A/N: First, I'm very sorry for the very long delay before this chapter. As many of you know, I had some difficulties with this story, and needed a serious writing break, as I've been writing it for over a year now. This chapter is shorter than others, but I am working on the next chapter, and have sorted out some of my issues with the story.
Hermione's teeth felt fuzzy from not brushing, she realised as she woke up. She saw that Lucius Malfoy was asleep on the other side of the hut. She didn't remember going to sleep, and began to wonder if perhaps she'd been drugged.
She had to visit the bathroom and remembered where Lucius had pointed out the outhouse the day before. She found the latrine...and frowned at the 'seat' which she discovered was not at all comfortable. She finished quickly and left, then startled as she exited.
"Oh, there you are," Lucius said. "You worried me. I'll have breakfast made for us in a moment. Would you like tea?"
"Oh...um, yes; tea would be good," she answered hesitantly, feeling rather odd being offered tea and breakfast so politely by a man who had kidnapped her.
"Very good, then. We can speak further after breakfast."
She looked back over her shoulder as she walked past him, and then thought it would be a good opportunity to go elsewhere when he entered the little hut of an outhouse and shut the door. She broke out in a run along the beach, heading towards the east.
Hermione had never been much of a runner, but she was spurred to the fastest she'd ever run by seeing a large, familiar-looking bird in the distance. The familiar reddish-orange plumage of a phoenix soon became clear.
"Fawkes!" she yelled, and heard the trilling tune of the phoenix as it swept towards her.
"NO!" came a shout from behind her. She turned mid-stride to see Lucius running to catch up with her. Hermione mustered all the strength she could, running towards Fawkes, who understood the urgency and went into a dive towards her, feet held forward to deliver a letter.
She snatched it from the bird's talons. Only a second later, she found herself rocked from her feet and on the ground; her breath wheezed from her lungs from a heavy weight atop her. The note was torn from her grasp. How had he caught up to her so quickly?
At first she tried to fight him off, but laying face-first in the sand while he sat astride her back made any effective resistance impossible. He rose slightly, however, to roll her over to her back. She stilled suddenly in her struggles when she looked into Lucius's face and saw an expression of such anguish and determination that it scared her.
"Give me the letter," she cried, hoping he might concede.
"No. Not now," he panted, still catching his breath from the sprint up the beach.
They stayed together like that for a long moment, locked in a still-life of combat, breath coming fast and ragged, staring into one another's eyes. Slowly, Hermione turned to see if the phoenix was still there, and she was surprised to see that Fawkes was standing in the sand nearly six feet away, looking between the two of them warily. He sung a slow, warbling note and, backing away slowly, spread his wings again and took flight.
It felt so unfair to Hermione, as she watched the bird flap away into the distance. That could have been her hope to get away. The note was quickly tucked into one of Malfoy's pockets.
"Why?" she groaned. "Just let me go, please." Her voice was accompanied by the cries of the phoenix as it circled overhead.
"I'm really very sorry," he said, now stroking her face gently as he knelt over her. They were both covered with sand and thoroughly winded. "It's for the best. Come now, we won't be staying here much longer... we have to go somewhere else now. They'll have an idea of our location soon."
An idea of their location was exactly what Hermione wanted 'them' to have. Professor Dumbledore obviously knew she was gone, and they were trying to rescue her.
*****
Severus hadn't slept in over forty-eight hours, but he had no intention of stopping. Before him, five texts were open on the worktable, and there were three cauldrons brewing. He'd had to search for some time to find the potion he thought would be best, but finally had found it. With the virgin's blood, he would be able to make a potion which would track Hermione.
His concentration was nearly ruined, as he added another ingredient, by footsteps coming down the stairs of his cellar. He realised, just before he could pull his wand, that the wards would have activated if it had been someone who shouldn't be there.
He glanced up to see Dumbledore and scowled at Potter, who came down directly behind the Headmaster.
"Severus, Fawkes has returned. There was no return message, but the note has been delivered. I would assume she was well enough to retrieve the note, but was prevented from leaving. We can only hope she was not prevented from reading it. I assume you are devising a method of finding her?"
"Yes, Headmaster, I will be done with this in a few hours. Once this is complete, I will have a better method of tracking her."
"Good then, I'll leave you to your work. Harry and I will be ready to assist you once you've completed it."
They turned toward the stairs to go, and Severus called out, "Potter. I want you here. Some information about what happened with Hermione would assist me in this potion."
He didn't look up, but heard Potter's steps stop.
"I'll leave the two of you to it, then," said Dumbledore, and turned and walked upstairs. As Severus looked up, he couldn't help but take a moment of pleasure at the uncomfortable look on Potter's face. Oh, he couldn't hurt the boy outright, but he would certainly make him regret touching Hermione.
*****
Lucius led her toward the interior of the island while Hermione was running out of ideas to stall him. She'd already taken as long as possible to 'catch her breath', and then to visit the loo again, and then had insisted she was dying of hunger and thirst.
Malfoy, in a show of patience under pressure she wouldn't have thought him capable of, had indulged most of her attempts to stall, and had even spent some time throwing rocks at a bunch of bananas to get them to fall when she'd suggested that if she had her wand, she could get them down easily enough. After that, she'd begged off more walking for the reason of side cramps.
"I understand you want to keep me safe, and you're worried about me," she tried to reason once they were walking again, Malfoy finally having reached the end of his patience. He'd pulled her up by her arms and pushed her along for a few steps until she started walking again. "If we go back to England, I can promise I'll listen to what it is you have to say. I really do need to get back to work, Mr Malfoy." Yes, I'll listen, she thought, listen to you talk from your holding cell before your trial.
"I can't risk that man getting you back," he told her firmly as he pushed through a thick growth of bamboo, holding it aside for her to step through. "I understand this is difficult for you, but I won't let you go until you've heard all I have to say and have seen what it is I need to show you."
The location they reached was a rock outcropping in a hill. Inside were a number of trunks which were self-shrinking.
"Larger magical exertions are still difficult for me," he explained as he pushed the buttons to activate the Self-Shrinking Charms on the expensive-looking chests. "I've been thinking, once we get to where we're going, you should see just why it is I don't want to let you go yet. You'll see why it is I feel... why it is my fault that you've ended up in your predicament, and why it is I'm willing to go to such lengths to help those who are in the nightmares of marriages I've caused."
There was just no arguing with the man, and though he seemed safe enough now, she realised she probably shouldn't push him much further. He might turn on her; for the time being, since she was his mission, she wasn't in danger... but the man had killed his own son; even if he did seem nice, he wasn't at all right in the head.
"Come now." Mr Malfoy reached out a hand. Hermione frowned down at it. "Please, let's go," Malfoy implored. "Once we arrive, I shall answer all your questions."
Hermione closed her eyes for a moment, wondering if one more effort to overpower the man, or perhaps try a burst of wandless magic, would be wise. He held the Portkey and she could use it to get away to the next location, but by now she felt a responsibility to ensure he was stopped. She was safe from him at least, and perhaps with time she could convince him to give up his vigilante's quest and to turn himself over to authorities.
It was clear that Dumbledore and Severus were looking for her, and she hoped they weren't too worried, and wished she had some way of sending them a message. She decided that once they got where they were going, she would try first to convince Malfoy to let her send a message letting them know she was well, and that they shouldn't worry too much.
Hermione reached out and took his hand, grasping the Portkey along with him.
*****
"So... Professor Snape, how can I help?" Potter asked hesitantly.
"Shut up and sit down, for starters," Severus replied. He sprinkled a powder into the cauldron. "Tell me, Potter... having my wife, or, as far as you were able to get in having her, was that one more thing to add to your list, another notch on your stick of things you could do to me?"
"What?"
"Ever since you first set foot in my classroom nearly eight years ago, you've done nothing but look for chance after chance to steal from me, usurp my authority, and taunt me, often endangering yourself and your fellow students in the process." Severus levelled a cold stare at Potter. "I imagine for you, Hermione was just another thing you could try to take from me... another conquest, another way to get one over on the old Potions master?"
"Hermione isn't a thing, you git," Potter growled. "She's a beautiful and amazing person, and it's a crime that she has to put up with you touching her. You don't even love her, so what would you care if she found someone who did love her?" yelled Potter.
"Because, Potter, she's mine. And besides, whether or not I love her or not is of no relevance. But if you do care, then you'd best keep your mouth shut and do as I say; I believe we both want to find her whole, do we not?"
"Yes, we do," Potter said firmly. Severus gave him a quick nod and poised the phial of blood over the cauldron. "What is that?" asked Potter suspiciously.
"Shut up," Snape growled.
"What the hell is that?" he demanded, loudly this time. "This potion..." He moved forward quickly to read from Snape's book, his breathing growing harder as he realised what Snape was doing. "You... you sick bastard!"
"SHUT UP, POTTER!!" Severus yelled, focusing now on stirring steadily while he slowly drizzled the blood into the potion. "If you'd truly like to be useful, get the fuck out now, and go get a Snitch. Bring it back quickly. I am doing this to help Hermione, and it's a good thing I took the precaution of gathering it, even if you think it's sick."
"A Snitch?"
"Yes, Potter, a Snitch. I hope you remember what you spent your first four years of Hogwarts chasing after on your undeservedly expensive brooms? I will dip the Snitch into the potion, and then we will be able to follow it to Hermione. I suggest you bring your broomstick, and find a newer model for me. I'm sure a quick visit to the Nimbus company will give you fast results if you tell them you're in the market for a new broom and would like an extended test-flight, wouldn't it?"
"Oh... oh, of course," he muttered, then turned and raced up the stairs.
*****
When they arrived at the new location, Hermione looked around, trying to see if she could identify anything about it. At first, all was dark, and then lights came on. They were inside a house... a rather new, large, but empty house. The smell of new paint and carpet were strong.
"Where is this?" she asked, turning around in the tiled foyer they were standing in. The front door was behind her, and a staircase directly in front of her. A large empty room was to her right, and another large room to the left and behind the staircase was also visible. To the left was a hallway down which she could see two doors. It was dark outside.
"Someplace we can remain hidden," he answered, dropping the bundle of shrunken chests onto the carpet in the empty room to the right. "In truth, I preferred our last location, but this one will do. There are a few things I would request of you while we are here."
"What is that?"
"Do not attempt to leave for at least a week, and listen to all I have to say. This house is secured both from the outside and the inside, but it's not nearly as secure as the island should have been. I purchased this place in preparation, just in case our last location should be discovered. I did have to take a few chances with it in hiring a wizard to prepare it for habitation, although I'd hoped he would have provided more furniture.
"Now, if you're still hungry there should be some food in the pantry... or, I've been informed that you may order food from local restaurants for delivery. The front door should be..." he walked to the front door and placed his hand on the knob and turned, and Hermione heard several clicks as the locks opened, "yes... the front door is made so that only I can open it. "There are menus in the kitchen as well as some local currency."
Hermione startled as the sound of a large truck outside went by. She went to a window and peeked out of the vinyl mini-blinds to see a driveway, streets, other brick homes, and wood fences of a nice-looking residential neighbourhood, well lit by street lamps and landscape lighting. She couldn't exactly place the style; but all the homes looked very similar, with manicured lawns, shrubs, and trees which were all fairly young.
"Where are we?" she asked.
"Far from anyone who could hurt you," he answered. "You may figure it out soon enough, but please, promise me you'll stay long enough for me to explain things to you."
"I thought you'd kidnapped me. Aren't you going to make me stay?" Hermione shot back sullenly.
"That would make me no better than him, wouldn't it? I want to keep you safe, yes, and at least for now, I don't want you to leave. At least this week, you can't leave. But once you've heard all I have to say, you are free to go, or to stay as long as you like. I'll keep you safe if you'll stay with me. I'd hoped the island would be better for a while... but I missed a few details of the security."
"All right, then; I'm not hungry, so show me what it is," Hermione said, wanting to get down to business. If she went along with his plan, he seemed sincere that he would allow her to leave within a week.
"Good. Come over here." She followed him to his pile of chests and sat cross-legged on the floor while he returned them to full size, and then withdrew a stone bowl and placed it on the floor in front of her. It was empty, but soon he reached for another chest. Inside that one were dozens of corked bottles packed with rags to cushion them. He scanned them, and then pulled one bottle from the chest and uncorked it, pouring a shimmering substance into the bowl.
"A Pensieve..."
"Yes. This memory was one of many Draco showed to me upon my release from St Mungo's. It seems that at one time I was fond of keeping this... filth to re-visit," he admitted, shuddering. "I've put one of the most pertinent memories within. I warn you: what you are about to see is... disturbing, to say the least. I was sick... absolutely sick after I saw this myself." He levelled his grey eyes at her in concern. "I'll be right here with you."
Hermione nodded, then leaned over the bowl on the floor, looking inside. It only took a second, and she was pulled into the bowl with a lurch....
Hermione fell to a hard stone floor more softly than she would have expected and began looking around in the dim light. A groan came from behind her, and she turned, gasping at what she saw.
A woman with black hair coming out from under a bag over her head was bound tightly. Her elbows were wrenched behind her back and held up at a painfully awkward angle by a rope suspended from a hook on the ceiling of the dank dungeon. She was nude; shreds of clothing were on the floor around her. Behind her stood Severus. He looked much, much younger here, though somehow more severe and scary-looking than she'd ever thought he'd looked, even in her first Potions class.
The woman screamed, and Hermione saw the reason why. Blood trickled from a wound in her back as Severus, a maniacal grin on his face, worked a long, sharp rod through a fold of skin on one side of her spine, and then proceeded, seemingly enjoying the woman's screaming, to pinch a fold of skin on the other side of her spine and ram the sharp rod through it. The woman thrashed, arching her back and screaming louder as Severus tugged on the rod, stretching her skin, before laughing and stepping away.
He turned to a table upon which were seven more rods, each just as sharp, nearly two feet long and as big around as Hermione's little finger. He took another rod from the table, and this time Hermione could barely watch as he pinched a fold of skin on the back of the bound woman's arm and pierced it, producing another scream.
"God, no," she whispered, not wanting to watch, but unable to pull her eyes away as he drove the rod through the back of her other arm, then stepped back to evaluate his work.
"Well done, Severus. Of course, you'll need at least four more rods to suspend her without tearing her skin. And that would simply be a mess." Hermione snapped her head to the left to see Lucius Malfoy.
"Of course, Lucius, but why hurry the job? I want to see how long I can keep her conscious." He smiled lewdly, then walked slowly around the whimpering woman. "Accio whip," he called, holding his hand out for a coil of leather which snapped to his hand, then proceeded to whipping her.
Hermione had experienced this sort of whipping numerous times, but it didn't stop the sick feeling which threatened to overwhelm her. He was relentless, merciless, as the bound woman, who Hermione was beginning to suspect was not here of her own free will, screamed and thrashed. Welts and cuts blossomed over her skin, her legs, breasts and stomach, and even her back as Severus used the whip to curl behind her before he snapped it.
His face... she couldn't believe his face... his crooked-toothed grin was wide, and an occasional chuckle escaped his lips. This was far beyond simple play; this was torture.
"I want out!" Hermione yelled, backing away. "Let me out of here!" she screamed over the shrieks of the bound woman. She felt a hand grab her arm firmly and pull, and she was once again kneeling on the floor, looking into the bowl of shimmering mist.
"That... he wasn't... was she... did she want to be there?"
"Shh," Malfoy whispered, pulling her into his grasp, trying to soothe her by rubbing her back gently. "I'm not sure. That memory ends when she loses consciousness. You weren't in there very long... and it gets much worse. I can't believe anyone would consent to what was done to her.
"I hope you begin to see now. Ever since I found this out, and discovered he was... doing things... these horrible things to you, I knew I had to help you."
"But it was never like that... never that bad," Hermione whispered, now shocked past trying to deny it or to keep Malfoy out of her 'personal matters'.
"Maybe not, but if it's only a question of degree; it's still not right."
Hermione sighed deeply, relaxing into Malfoy's embrace. She never thought she could feel so safe this close to this man.
"I have some Dreamless Sleep Potion in case this might give you nightmares. You don't need to look at the rest of it today..."
"No. Just give me a bit. I'll see what it is you're worried about," she protested. Even through her shock, she did wonder if perhaps there would be information within Malfoy's saved memories to show that Severus was not the horrible monster he'd seemed to be in that memory. After all, bits and pieces of memories, select moments, might be misleading. Certainly, even times she had enjoyed some rather harsh scenarios would look horrible to an outsider.
"Well, let's take a break from this, then," Malfoy suggested. "I'll show you to your room. I suppose the island had to have some sacrifices in comfort, but you should be fairly comfortable here, if you choose to stay after this week."
*****
"I've brought the Snitch," Potter said, "and a better broom for you. Now, I want to know why it is you've got Hermione's... why you've got..." He shuddered, trailing off.
"Because, Potter, I like to be prepared."
"Afraid she might run away from you from the start?" Potter challenged.
"Actually, no. Virgin's blood has many uses in powerful potions; it just so happens this is one use which will directly benefit Hermione. Now, the potion is complete. We should gather some provisions and prepare to leave. We may have a very long flight ahead of us.
Half an hour later, Potter and Snape had gathered and shrunk food for the journey and had dressed well for the cold, casting Warming Charms on their clothing. They stood in the front of the house, and Snape looked back at it after he'd closed the door. His home. Their home. It had felt too cold and empty since Hermione had left for holiday with Potter and Weasley, and he'd been looking forward to her return. He couldn't help but wonder if she'd followed the instructions he'd given her in the letter, but then he wondered if that had been before or after what had happened with Potter...
Suddenly, he wanted to take the shiny new Nimbus 3000 and beat it to splinters over Potter's head, but he restrained himself. He hated Potter, but he also knew the boy would do his best to help find Hermione.
"Give me the Snitch," said Snape, mounting his broomstick and uncorking the phial of potion. Once Potter had handed the fluttering Snitch over, glaring at Snape all the while, Snape poured the potion over it, and then let the Snitch go. It flew in circles a few times, and then shot off to the east.
Snape and Potter both kicked off from the ground and shot after it. It took only a few minutes for Snape to realise that it wasn't the Snitch he had to follow, it was Potter. Squinting into the overcast sky, he could see nothing but mist and clouds. It was Potter who would be the key here, who would lead him to Hermione. He didn't like the irony.
*****
They had some tinned peas and macaroni and cheese that had come in a blue box. It wasn't exactly fine dining, but it was at least not unsettling to her stomach. Lucius had seemed subdued since she'd come out of the Pensive a few hours earlier, sitting down seemingly in deep thought in one of the armchairs in what Hermione decided was the casual living room. The empty rooms at the front looked as if they were the formal living and dining areas. They'd eaten at the metal and glass table in the smaller kitchen dining area.
The room he'd shown her was upstairs, and had a comfortable-looking bed and dresser. She'd peeked into the other rooms and had found a bathroom and two more bedrooms upstairs (one of which was apparently Malfoy's) and downstairs had found a powder room and a very large master suite down the hallway.
She'd also looked through the delivery menus (for a Pizza and Italian place, Chinese, and a Deli) and now knew her location from the addresses printed on them. They were in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. It would be dawn soon, but it didn't feel like it.
"I'd like to look at the rest of the memories, Mr Malfoy," Hermione said, causing Lucius to look up at her from where he was seated.
"You don't have to see them all today."
"I need to. Let me see as many as I can today, and then I'll listen to what else you'd like me to hear tomorrow."
"Very well," he agreed gravely.
Hermione went back to the Pensieve and waited as Lucius extracted another bottled memory from the chest. She hoped this one would be milder. It might not be pleasant, but these memories were obviously pieces of Severus's past. Armed with these, she would be able to understand him better, and could decide for herself if Lucius Malfoy was being irrational or not.
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Latest 25 Reviews for You Can't Have One Without The Other
254 Reviews | 5.03/10 Average
I have loved this fic, but I didn't like Ashwinder version 's ending, that ending was so unfair to Severus and it ruined whole story for me, but now I'm glad I found this version, I'm loving this ending, though it's not right or perfect but I can't see my Severus heart broken again and I absolutely love a morally grey and dark Severus ..... Overall the story was amazing, so well written and Smut was mind-blowing, I wish we could have more smut when Hermione returned to Severus in ending and some more story in detail,may be a whole chapter on how she went back to Severus, from Uni to moving into an apartment,their holiday, how she distant herself from her friends, how Severus keeps on giving her potion and how is there se* life now, does Severus still prefer dom-sub kind of stuff, does she enjoy that - I wish we could have all of this in detail in a whole new chapter...... Thank you for this wonderful story and this "Happy for Severus" ending 👍🏻😍
I love how you have them both sticking it out, yet hurting themselves in the process. Most stories have them revolve their problems quickly or just have a brief paragraph saying some time has passed. Great job!
This has been an amazing story. It's everything I want in this type. Snape is a rude, disagreeable person, yet he does care about Hermione in his own way. They are easing into his sexual preference without the typical 'and then she suddenly discovers how much it turns her on.' Even after she allows herself to give in, she isn't totally his slave. And there is some other parts of the story that arent completly revolving around their relationahip. (There could be just a bit more of that) Thankyou! This is such a wonderful story!
I guess this story must have been written before we learned that Snape was a half-blood. Oh, well. I'll just think of it as AU, I guess. :-)
Good lord. So you've made it so that he really IS an abusive and controlling asshole. I'm sorry that's what you wanted to do with this story; I'm afraid I prefer happy endings in fan fiction.
Well, THAT'S a twist I didn't see coming! Very clever trick, to keep Lucius waiting in the wings like that, after we'd all written him off as disabled. :-)
I'm a Heinlein fan, too! Stranger in a Strange Land changed my life when I read it at the age of 12, so none of his other books could ever mean to me what that one did. Still, I read and re-read The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, Time Enough for Love, I Will Fear No Evil, and many others. Thanks for working Heinlein into this story; it's fun to see the references to his books.
Heh. Love the dream at the end.
I'm astonished that Severus would be willing to spend THREE WEEKS with Hermione's parents. One week seems like plenty to me! So I'd say he's bent over backwards to be nice ... and I'm usually on Hermione's side. :-)
Lovely ending.
The ending of this made me a bit sad, but I didn't find it 100% OOC for Severus as some other reviews have stated. Love the story - very well written. Thank you so much for sharing. :)
I liked it :) but I think the ending should have been drawn out just a little more. Because drugging someone isn't really love,or at least not in my opinion. I think it would have been better if she didn't get the potion like in the alternate ending, but they still went on the dates and got to know each other. Hermione really cared for him and it would have turned to love. But it was good overal. The other ending made me cry to be honest. It just seemed like such an un hermione thing to do...but keep writing your good :)
No, no, no, anything apart from Malfoy. LOL enjoying your contract fic very much. Like the road you are taking, uncomfortable for HG but has the bat got a sense of humour after all? We shall see as they say. Off to read some more.
Thanks.
The picture of control, honesty and choice,you paint,
is very telling. This started a lot of deep thoughts. - not least in your personal replies to people's passionate letters to you.
Please do keep writing you have a Real talent.
But you did break my heart with both your endings: that two highly intelligent people couldn't let themselves find joy and freedom with each other. together with common sense, and self- awareness, tempered with humour.
Good luck in your new life, and admiration for the bravery and strength, it must have taken to build a new life.
For now I am speechless.
On some times I thought, Goodness ist there anything other than spanking, whipping and fucking all around? This should not mean I didn´t enjoy it in some ways, and after thinking about this I had come to the Decision that your descriptions showed a lot about the live Severus and Hermione had and in which ways they tried to come together.
(I believe I should not write reviews, when I´m tired)
But your end of your Fanfiction was startling. I didn´t expect a lovely happy Couple, whom lived happily together after discussing their Problems. I expected rahter a Couple that had many Problems to deal with each other, but which were also trying.
Your take of an End, was highly surprising and unexpected, but I like it. :)
Best wishes
Dawndancer
I've just read your story and was very impressed that I was so invested in the plot. A sign of a great author is to make the characters very real to the reader. This you accomplised beautifully. However the ending was heartbreakingly dissappointing. I am not averse to un-happy endings when called for but this ending didn't ring true for me.
LOL Loved when Severus' rooms became a bit too overcrowded for his style :)
Haha, well played Albus with the "honeymoon" surprise LOL
Wow, seemed like Lucius to not give up easily..
great chapter, im looking forward to reading the rest of the fic :)
LMAO
That ending was such an anti climax.
what happened? did you get bored writing the story?
On another level the ending is humerous in its absurdity...
I thought that Snape loved her? He resorted to mind control in the end.
hhmmmm
comment?
xoxo
i thoroughly enjoyed you dissecting the power dynamic of the relationship though.
Thanks for you time and imagination
up to chapter 29 it was excellent. some minor quibbles but generally a delight to read - absolutely lapping it up! You have an amazing talent for storytelling. From 29 on however the characters seemed to fall to pieces and IMO no longer conformed with the profiles you had constructed for them thusfar - it became actually infuriating to read - and then the ending was of course just obscene. Rushed and incredibly disturbing (which is a feat considering some of the other quite prickly ideas in the story that went down smoothly) - and worst of all feeling like something tacked on at the last minute or as an afterthought. Perhaps you had grown sick of your own creations by then. It was very disappointing to have laboured with these characters for so long.. to have it all end in a manner neither satisfying nor plausible (and either of the two would have been sufficient really). It was a great story - but a rotten ending.
I've been reading this story since you first started posting it on Ashwinder, and have only now actually put fingers to keyboard to review it.
I loved the way this story was written. Excellent descriptive scenes, lots of Snarky!Snape and an interesting plot. However, the ending is too rushed and extremely disappointing. I've read both endings and feel the same way about both. Whilst the ending on Ashwinder is a more probable ending, I couldn't help but feel that it needed fleshing out a bit more, not to mention the blatant out-of-characterness of both Snape and Hermione. You did so well to keep them both in character throughout the majority of the story, only to have them change in the last couple of chapters. I'll be honest - I hated TPP ending. Not plausible at all, and also very OOC.
It's very obvious that you were getting bored of this story and wanted it finished as soon as possible for the sake for your readers. One thing I learned from writing fan fiction is that if you write purely for the sake of reviews, then your story is doomed from the start. If you ever consider re-writing any part of this, please re-do the ending chapters and preferably using the Ashwinder ending as that was the better of the two.
I have now read both endings, and I find that I disagree with you and most of your reviewers who would claim that either one was a good ending for this story. Now I don't intend this to be a flame, so please just hear me out.Certainly I, like most people, would have liked to see Hermione and Severus end up together (voluntarily) for the simple romantic appeal. But my dislike for these two endings goes beyond that.So you chose to end this story either with them splitting up or together because Severus was controlling Hermione. Great, fine, whatever - brave of you to do something outside of the normal SS/HG stories. However, I do not see the image that most of your reviewers seem to see - an author who sacrificed the popular ending for the more in-character or better-suited ending. No, what I see is an author who was consciously seeking to break the mold of happily-ever-after stories, to do something dramatic and unexpected simply because it was dramatic and unexpected. An author seeking to set up a story that intentionally seemed to follow a normal SS/HG plotline, just so that she could say, "Haha, fooled you!" at the end.Now, I certainly don't mean to suggest that doing the unexpected is a bad thing - unexpected twists and turns are what make these stories worth reading even though there are common plotlines that run through many of them. But when an author sacrifices story flow, plausibility and character for mere shock value, it falls a little flat.And yes, before you protest, I think that you did sacrifice plausibility and character. You clearly sold the ending to your audience using the Severus-is-a-control-freak ploy. But I think that it is just that - a ploy. And I think that a lot of your readers fell for it. But you can't write 30 chapters of great story (don't get me wrong, I liked the story a lot), filled with good plot and character development, and then follow this up with a chapter in which your characters have apparently regressed essentially to the way they were at the very beginning. Well, I guess you can - you're the author - but I just don't buy it. The Severus that appeared in chapter 29 was not the same Severus that featured in chapter 31 - or even chapter 30. Severus 29 realized that he loved Hermione and was beginning to regret his control-freakishness. I do not find it remotely feasible that this Severus can be the same as Severus 31 who would go right back to controlling tactics without any apparent hesitation.But what, you ask, do I expect Severus to do when just as he realizes he loves Hermione, she abandons him without a backwards glance? As it turns out, I find Hermione's characterization in the last couple of chapters equally problematic. In fact, I think that Hermione 30/31 is perhaps more out-of-character than Severus 31. Yes, I can accept that having undergone so much and suddenly having the opportunity to really have a choice for the first time, she might have some second thoughts, might want to take a break to really have some time on her own, apart from Severus, to really analyze the situation. But I do not find it remotely plausible that she would ditch Severus completely and go off to a University without resolving their issues. For one thing, Hermione Granger is not the kind of person who would go off, leave unsolved problems behind, and then make a decision on these problems once she is far removed from the situation. That is, as they call it, the coward's way out, and Hermione is nothing if not honorable and Gryffindorish.And once again, after 30 chapters in which she undergoes a great deal of character development and comes to at least like Severus (even if you don't want her to fall in love with him), I do not find it remotely plausible that she would choose to abandon him and sever all ties with him without any discussion or conversation with him whatsoever. I don't really find it likely that she would leave him at all, but even if she were going to, I do not believe for one second that she would do so without talking to him and hearing him out - after all, isn't that what she kept demanding of him throughout the story? That he not make decisions and take stances uncompromisingly, without acknowledging her perspective? So what kind of a hypocrite would she be if she really would do what you have her doing?So while you may or may not agree with me, I do think that your characters in the last chapter or two are drastically different from the people that you had shaped by the end of chapter 29. Both the control-freak Severus and the I-need-time-to-think Hermione seem to me to be very thinly veiled rationalizations for you as the author doing what you wanted to do with the story, even when it didn't really fit. And I think that is possibly the worst mistake an author can make - trying to force a story to do what she wants it to, or what she imagines it ought to do, when the story wants to go somewhere different. As I said earlier, I have no problems with an author who goes into a story with the desire to write something unexpected. Something different. Something unique. I as a writer have shared that desire many times. But I think that in your attempts to mislead us readers, to make us think that this was just like all the other SS/HG stories, you ended up writing a story that was like the other SS/HG stories. But then you still tried to make it fit your idea of what you had intended to write, and frankly, I think it shows.Now, you may not really appreciate this after all of the rest of what I just said, or you may not think me entirely sincere, but I want to make it quite clear that I definitely thought that this was a very good story - which is probably why I felt inclined to leave such a lengthy, passionate review (if I didn't like it, I wouldn't have bothered, and if I didn't like the rest of it, I wouldn't have felt so strongly about the ending). So just for the record, I thought that it was well-written, and that - as I may have hinted earlier - there was very good character development through most of it. Other than the ending, your characters were engaging, believable, consistent...which, as I said, is why the ending is so jarring and dissatisfying. Because it's so not in keeping with the rest.You probably don't agree with me, and even if you did I don't imagine that you would bother to change the ending, but it seemed that most of your readers were inclined to just accept your flimsy surface justifications for Hermione's and Severus's actions, even though these justifications were not supported by the rest of your depictions of their characters. So I felt obligated to present my perceptions, even if they goes against the majority opinion. Take it or leave it, but there it is. And thank you for the story.
Response from RachelW (Author of You Can't Have One Without The Other)
Wow, what a long review. Hmm... and it's been a while too, though I was curious what might be going on with the fanfic and thought I'd check on it.What happened the last few chapters was that I just could not write what I'd started out intending to write. When I began this story in 2004 (wow), I was working hard to make myself believe i was happy being stuck in a miserable marriage to a manipulative person who spent a lot of thought and energy keeping me from directing my energy and talents into the real world. I had few friends, and every time I began developing a friendship with anyone who was functional and somewhat available, he made sure it didn't last long. By 2008 when I finished this story I was going to school full time and working part time at a local gym, and my carefully cultivated illusion that I was happy had been completely shattered. Along with that, all my carefully concocted ideals about a promise being everything, about anything being workable, about enough love/being good enough/something else could change a person, or make a manipulator become something else.What happened at chapters 30/31 was a major shift in my understanding of the world and of people, and my best attempt to wrap up a story so I could move on with my life (I like finishing things, you see). I just could not write what I had intended when I was writing chapter 24 or therabouts... it just wouldn't happen. Dec 2008 I moved out on my own, no idea how I was going to make it. My ex has made every effort to cause me problems, and is still dragging the legal end of things on because he has to punish me for leaving him. I've had some interesting challenges, I've become self employed, I've found happiness in a great comunity where my ex can't keep me from having supportive, functional friends through manipulations like he did when I was with him, trapped mainly by my belief (which he encouraged strongly) that I was incapable of making it alone. He would use 'martial arts sparring' as a cover to 'accidentally' twist my forearms/wrists and exaserbate my tendonitis which kept me from working as a massage therapist for years.Tomorrow I'm having a ribbon-cutting cerimony with the local Chamber of Commerce to celebrate the opening of my office. I've supplemented massage income with housecleaning, freelance copy-editing (thanks to my beta-reading experience), and other odd jobs. In retrospect I've realized writing this story was a major part of coming to grips with the reality of what my marriage was, even when I didn't know that's what I was writing about. The BDSM was just the fun stuff to make the story interesting, but deep down it was about my attempt to justify to myself that I had made a terrible choice to be with someone because I believed I was incapable of being alone, and felt trapped by having a child with him. I desperately wanted to "make it right" and this story was my attempt to make something wrong right by making Hermione just be good enough to fix Snape. Manipulators, alas, don't change... and the flow of the story stopped when I tried to make wrong things be right.If anyone is interested in what I'm doing now: http://reliefbyrachel.com
While I thought the story started out pretty well, the middle got a little angsty for my taste, but I stuck it out, only to be disappointed in the end. Hermoine, in a potion-induced state of bliss. While I wouldn't put it past Snape, it's just a terrible way to end the story. I can think of a number of different endings, though, honestly, I can't think of any way to tie them to the established story.
Whoa ! I came from reading the other ending on Ashwinder and fair play to you, this is in keeping with the selfish controlling rotten Snape that she married. I was buying the potential happy ending (he's changed !) right up to the point where she drops out of college. The last bit about giving her the potion every 6-9 months is crushing - but thats how vile he is. To control her is everything.