The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change...

Hermione wondered, as she struggled to support her weight on shaking legs, if it was possible to pass out from too many orgasms. She had lost track of time, partially hanging as her legs would barely support her any longer, arms stretched over her head by the chain suspended from the ceiling. She had imagined all sorts of horrid tortures when she stepped into the bedroom, but nothing like this. After the first three she thought this might not be so bad at all. He had used the flogger on her for a while, but not with full force. It was enough to sting a bit, and had left a warm, tingling glow over her back, shoulders, buttocks and thighs. He had used a levitation charm at times as he pleasured her with his mouth or hands to make her easier to move. She wasn't heavy, but he seemed to prefer lifting her by one hand at times.

Her whole body was quivering...muscles burning with lactic acid and exhaustion. Severus had tossed his frock coat onto the bed after a while and rolled his sleeves up and unbuttoned the top of his white shirt as he grew warm through his own activity. She watched through half-closed eyes as his eyes roamed over her body, wondering what would be next. He perused the items on the bed for a moment, a hand drifting over the various objects there. Every time he did this Hermione held her breath in anticipation...not knowing what he would take next and dreading it being something truly painful. After a moment he made his decision and then reached out for a small, shiny object Hermione couldn't make out. He looked down at her when he approached and held the thing in front of her to see. It was some kind of clip. He knelt and took one of her legs and propped it up over his shoulder and Hermione realized what he was about to do as he spread her wide with his fingers.

Hermione wanted to protest, beg him to stop, but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of hearing her beg. She was determined to hold on to some level of self control. Hermione hissed as he applied the clamp...the pressure was highly uncomfortable, and accentuated the throbbing in her sex, focusing her attention to that nub which had turned sore with too much attention as he coaxed her flesh to respond again and again.

"Spread your legs," he muttered when he stood again.

Shakily, Hermione hitched her legs apart, just past shoulder width. Any modesty she had felt when he started was long gone. The clamp exerted a strong pressure as she moved her legs apart, but fortunately wasn't painful as she had feared when he'd shown it to her.

"Good girl," he said and caressed her body with the palms of his hands, moving over the tingling flesh. Hermione sighed...it felt good, it really did. Why did it have to feel so good? After a few minutes of his hands caressing her arms and back, pressing his body against her from the front, he moved one hand down her stomach to lightly tap the clitoral clamp, causing her to jump. He smirked at her and moved his hands to cup her breasts, slowly rubbing his palms across her nipples. The clamp seemed to hum on her clitoris as he did this, causing Hermione to moan and arch against him. She felt her body wasn't her own anymore...she felt what went on, but it was as if she had no control of her reactions.

Severus went back to the bed, aware of how closely he was watched. He really didn't plan on using everything he'd set out here...and some of the things, such as the body hooks, he would never use on her...but he knew every time he surveyed the tools her anticipation would build. He knew she was trying to figure out what most of the things were and how on earth he would be using them. He picked up the flogger again and walked around her, circling as he observed. Her body was covered in a fine sheen of sweat...he'd cast a warming charm in the room so it was a bit warmer than he usually kept it in here. He was sweating a bit himself. He could see her legs shaking with exhaustion, her breathing was uneven, but she still maintained that determined glint in her eyes.

He was aching with need to take her finally, and would soon. It had only been a little over half an hour, but for her it was long enough. Soon she would succumb to sensory overload...he'd chosen to torture her with pleasure this evening. He'd made sure, in the last week, that she enjoyed herself. He had been a bit rough, always applying a small amount of pain with the pleasure so the association between the two could be built on a firm foundation. But tonight, he was driving her into a frenzy with sexual pleasure, stimulating her to the edge of her tolerance levels and then allowing her to rest. The flogger became a relief after a while...he wasn't hitting her hard with it, he didn't want her to dread this, rather this exercise was to slowly build her tolerance to pain, while learning that a small amount of pain wasn't a bad thing.

After a few moments of circling her, allowing her tension to build, he began again, striking diagonally across her back, again across her buttocks, then around to face her, striking across the front of her thighs. He fell into a rhythm, circling and striking, listening to her gasps and muffled groans as she clamped her lips shut, not wanting to make any noise.

Her legs would give out soon, he could tell. He picked his wand up from the chest and cast a levitation spell on her body again as he had done at regular intervals to prevent her from straining her shoulders too much. He had disguised this purpose by making it appear he had been doing it for his own ease. He pulled his trousers open and walked back to her; grabbing her hips from behind and positioning her at a good angle, and drove into her. She was slick and tight and hot, her channel pulsed around him as he thrust into her quickly. She was approaching orgasm again, but the clip he had attached to her clitoris wouldn't allow her to climax. He kept pounding, thrusting until there was nothing but the rhythm and the building pressure for them both and when he could hold out no longer he reached around and removed the clip.

Hermione felt the rush of blood as he removed the clip and it was as if he had unleashed a dam of pleasure which came crashing through her body like a tsunami. She cried out and saw flashes of light and pulled on the ropes, completely suspended between the rope and his hands, her legs curled up behind him unconsciously as she writhed in the throes of her climax. She felt dizzy, lightheaded and Hermione felt the pulsing and tingling overtake her, and she slumped over, unable to support herself any longer as he finished. With a single pull he undid the quick-release knot attached to the chain she fell, drifting into unawareness just as she was aware of being lifted by his strong arms.

Severus reached forward to catch her quickly as she fell and hefted her up. She was limp in his arms as he moved to the bed and gently laid her down. She had fainted from the exertion and stimulation, but was fine otherwise. He went to the bathroom and opened the taps; the tub filled quickly with warm water and he went back to her, removing his clothes and gently lifting her and carrying her to the tub, where he immersed her into the warm water and sat back against the edge, one hand supporting her head as her body floated, his other softly washing and soothing her skin with a lathered washcloth.

He had been surprised that she hadn't resorted to begging him to stop...he really thought she would. At several points he could tell she was considering it, but then her determination would reassert and he could see the defiance in her face, even in the way she held herself. He knew she was struggling within herself with the concept of submission; he would need to find a way to lead her to overcome that soon.

Hermione stirred, and took a deep breath, surprised to find herself in the bathtub, supported by Severus and being soothingly washed. He reached to the side of the tub and handed her a vial of white liquid.

"Drink this; it's to prevent sore muscles. You're not used to that level of physical activity and would probably be quite stiff tomorrow," he explained.

Stunned by his change in demeanor, Hermione took the vial and tipped its contents back. She was a bit stiff already, acutely aware of the soreness in her shoulders and legs especially.

"Come here," he prompted, reaching out for her hand and pulling her to rest back against his chest. Now was the time to pull her close...he knew if he didn't she would want to withdraw from him and that could cause a destructive downward cycle for her. Once he had settled his arms around her waist, and tucked his chin over her head he spoke again. "You're quite a bit more durable than I had thought, Hermione; you held up longer than I would have expected for a first time at that level," he said conversationally, nearly gently.

"Um...what time is it, sir?" Hermione asked, still stunned and dazed.

"Just past eight, you fainted at the end, but it was about forty-five minutes from the time I put the ropes on you," he said and moved a hand down her arm, lifting it from the water. There were still slight red marks, but the indentations in her skin had evened out. "It doesn't look like you'll mark from the ropes," he observed. He felt Hermione stiffen a bit in his arms and prompted her to turn around and straddle his thighs in the tub and to look at him as he traced her hairline with his long fingers.

"I want you to know you handled yourself quite well," he said. "But you might have lasted longer if you hadn't been resisting so much."

Hermione looked down, unsure what to feel at the moment. The evening had been difficult, he had been stern and unyielding and seemingly uncaring and now he was holding her, offering her potions to ease her soreness and speaking softly to her. And why was he now praising her...what had she done but endure his attentions?

Severus moved out from beneath her and grabbed the bottle of shampoo at the side of the tub, drifting around behind her. "Relax, Hermione..." he purred when she started to turn around as his hands worked through her hair. "Let me do this, you're exhausted." He washed her hair; pleased that she was relaxed by the time he dipped her back to rinse the shampoo from her curls.

"Come with me, Hermione...I have tea waiting in the living room." He stood in the tub and helped her to her feet, surprising her further by toweling her dry and pulling a bathrobe around her shoulders. After he had wrapped his own bathrobe around himself she walked with him to the living room, sitting on the couch. Her body protested the movement...she felt weak and unsteady still, but she could also feel the potion strengthening her body as it seeped into her system. She took the proffered cup of steaming tea, watching him in puzzlement. He took a seat beside her and sipped his own tea for a moment.

"I expect you would have never thought there could be such a thing as too many orgasms," he said. Hermione looked at him, seeing the slight glint of amusement in his eyes and the corners of his lips upturned...not quite a smile, but close enough for him.

"Well..." she began, realizing he had brought her in here to speak freely with her. "Yes...you're right there." She sipped her tea again, slowly gathering her thoughts. "Are you going to want to...be that extreme all the time now?"

"No, that would be too much for you. As I told you before, I'm not going to push you past what you are able to handle, and I want you to learn to enjoy it as well. You will find that in time your endurance will grow, but while you have studies I will confine the more strenuous activity to the weekends when it won't interfere with your studies or other activities."

Hermione nodded and sipped her tea again. She was beginning to understand that watching a picture and experiencing something were two entirely different things. She'd had some idea before, of course. She wasn't stupid...flying a broom looked easy until she tried it. Before, she thought it would be a simple matter to simply tolerate the pain, he'd told her he wouldn't do her real harm, but the experience was different. There was so much more than pain...she hadn't expected the exhaustion, the fear, the feeling of helplessness. While he hadn't been brutal, she had soon found that her body was like putty in his hands. There was nothing she could do to stop him if she wanted to.

"Hermione, how are you feeling now? Be honest," he said, watching her carefully for her reaction.

She looked back at him, seeing his interest. "Tired," she answered first. "A bit overwhelmed, actually. I was...worried, at times, about all those things you had out," she said and licked her lips, taking in a breath. He seemed to be waiting for her to say more, listening attentively, so she continued; "I was...concerned...that you would hurt me," she finished, looking him in the eye...challenging him.

"But I didn't," he said simply, offering it as a fact and an assurance as one. After another moment he said, "I'm not going to do anything which would cause you injury, Hermione. I mean that."

Hermione reached for one of the chocolate biscuits on the tea tray, munching on it as she thought in silence. She felt tired, and a yawn overtook her before she could hold it back.

"What are your plans for tomorrow?" he asked.

"Well...I'm not sure...why do you ask?"

"I thought you might like to study the blood lily further. I have a few articles in addition to several books you will find helpful. I used to brew the blood-substitute for a vampire; perhaps you would be interested in my own research notes?"

"Oh...yes," she said, yawning again, "I don't know why I feel so tired."

"You feel tired because you've been over stimulated and your muscles have been worked past what you are accustomed to, Hermione. I would be astonished if you weren't tired. We can continue our discussion tomorrow, you should go ahead to bed, I'll bring out my notes and books for you tomorrow," he said and stood, reaching a hand to assist her again.

Hermione took his hand, muttering her thanks but still confused at his change in attitude as she went to bed. She fell asleep almost immediately, feeling both comforted and perplexed.

Severus watched as her eyelids closed and her breathing turned to a deep, steady rhythm almost immediately. He had included a sleeping potion along with the healing potion he'd given her earlier, knowing she might have difficulty sleeping with her nerves still overwrought. Her body would need a full nights sleep to recover fully, he didn't want her to experience discomfort to a level which would leave her exceedingly apprehensive about future activity.

He would have a few more sessions similar to what he'd done that evening before stepping up the intensity. First, he had to work her through the fear. Despite what he'd told her, she had been worried that he really was going to harm her, and he wanted her to have some level of trust before he did more. He was pleased...though she had been uncomfortable at first, she had been able to speak to him openly. This was essential...he wasn't going to have her cowering in fear whenever he spoke to her.

*****

Severus was grading papers of the seventh years the next morning at his desk in the living room. Hermione was still asleep, and he'd had breakfast delivered via Floo and had it waiting under a warming charm for her. It was nearly ten, and he wondered if he should wake her, or simply allow her to sleep in. He really had no idea how long she liked to sleep in on the weekends, but the fact that she imbibed a sleeping potion likely was a partial cause for her to sleep late. There was a knock at the door as he wrote a few well worded insults on one paper and he went to answer it, annoyed at the interruption.

"What do you want Potter?" he asked tersely when he opened the door and Potter stood there, frowning at him.

"Hermione wasn't at breakfast," he said.

"No, she wasn't."

"Where is she?" Harry asked suspiciously.

"She is sleeping in this morning. I am sure she would be happy to talk to you at another time, but I am not going to stand here and answer your demands," he said impatiently. "Go away," he snarled and slammed the door.

*****

Hermione woke and stretched broadly, unable to remember the last time she'd felt so rested. She got out of bed, and after a stop in the bathroom she pulled her bathrobe on. In the living room she found Severus at his desk with a pile of papers. He looked up when she came in. "I was beginning to wonder if I should wake you."

"Good grief," Hermione said as she looked at the clock, "I slept over twelve hours."

"And you likely needed it; breakfast is on the end table," he said, nodding to the tray on the couch-side table.

"Thanks Severus," she said. She was still wondering about how he would act today. They had been married a week and really hadn't spent any time together out of the bedroom. As she ate, Hermione cast occasional glances towards Severus, who seemed intent on his grading.

"Are you experiencing any soreness today?" he asked after a moment.

"No, I feel fine. But, I wonder if I really needed a healing potion..."

"It wasn't a necessity, but I thought it best that you not be too uncomfortable today. If you hadn't taken the potion last night you would probably have very sore muscles, but nothing more than that."

"Oh." Hermione took a sip of coffee, but felt rested enough she didn't really need to drink it today.

"Your friend Potter came by this morning," He said, not looking up from his papers.

"Oh...did he say why he was here?"

"He seemed concerned that you weren't at breakfast, I didn't pursue his desires further as he was intent on interrogating me."

"Well, Harry is still a bit upset that I chose you over Kingsley."

"And what do you think now; do you believe you would have been better off with Shacklebolt?" he asked.

"I'm not sure yet..." Hermione answered absently and bit into a muffin.

"Really...perhaps I should change my approach? Let's copulate once a week for five minutes and get started on a family right away, I'm sure we could have ten children within as many years and you can spend your days changing nappies and washing dishes and children."

Hermione looked at him with narrowed eyes, but caught the quirk of his lips and the way his eyes were crinkled slightly at the corners. He was actually joking. "That is not funny," she said firmly.

"It's not? Are you still unsure about your decision?"

"Well...good point I suppose," Hermione muttered and took a drink of her coffee. She wondered why he would remind her of her reasons this morning; perhaps he thought she was regretting her decision now...regret was the wrong word, really. Concerned...yes, she was concerned that she had gotten into more than she could handle. However, she felt wonderful today...but she did wonder how she would feel without the healing potion he had given her.

Now, in the light of day, her experiences were easier to examine rationally. There were times last night that she had really wanted him to stop, times she was really scared...but at the same time, she could now recognize that she hadn't actually been hurt. Really, the worst part was the muscle fatigue. Even the flogger (he hadn't actually used the paddle) hadn't hurt all that much. If it hadn't been for the fact that she was tied up and halfway hanging from a chain on the ceiling and rather frightened, it wasn't all that different from a fairly intense massage she'd had last summer at a resort in which they had used herbal plants flayed over her body in much the same way...and people paid money for that.

Of course, the uncontrollable orgasms had become too much after a while. She'd become familiar with them over the last week, which really seemed amazing...it felt like more than a week in some ways. But, while it had been pleasurable at first, the overwhelming intensity had been almost too much to tolerate...really, she'd fainted from the overload so perhaps it really was too much?

"The books and journals for the blood lily are on the coffee table. Let me know when you've covered the material, I also have some samples of the substitute blood potion. I have notes about the comparisons between that and live blood, but you obtain a clearer understanding by an actual comparison of the two."

"Oh...thanks," Hermione said and noticed the pile of books and papers on the table before her. He was more than making good on his promise from last night. "Severus, I was wondering something..."

"What is that?"

"Is it normal to faint during...well..."

"It can happen from time to time. It's not something that would be a consistent occurrence, but you fainted last night from a combination of factors," he said, beginning to move into his lecturing tone as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "First, you experienced muscle fatigue. It was apparent that the lactic-acid build up in your muscles would have caused a collapse at some point, but you also had the added factor of orgasmic overload. An orgasm causes a spike in blood pressure, heart rate, breathing, and releases several hormones, so that, coupled with the adrenaline already in your system from your reaction to the setting was likely quite a bit more than your body was accustomed to handling."

"You make it sound so...clinical," Hermione observed after a bite

"You asked about a physiological response to last night's activity, which would seem to require an answer in kind," he stated and then returned to his grading, apparently considering the matter explained well enough.

Of course, it was an adequate explanation for her collapse last night, but the one thing she couldn't really figure out was why he would want to do something so strenuous it could result in that. Why did her pain bring him pleasure? He'd been quite clear that he enjoyed inflicting pain and discomfort and in being in control...but why? She tried to imagine inflicting pain on someone, and really couldn't see how it could be enjoyable...even to do to a hated enemy. But, that was one thing that seemed to be a constant in his approach to life. He was cruel in his teaching methods and harsh even around colleagues. But at the same time, he had been fairly nice to her during their brief engagement, and now that they were married he wasn't unkind, except when it came to sex sometimes. Even then he always made sure she enjoyed herself. Well, he had said that being married to a miserable bride would be tedious for him. So, that was likely his only reason for being nice to her, he didn't want her to be unhappy. But, when it came down to it, she didn't think that one small factor of her life would have the potential to make her miserable. And really, it was one small factor. She still had her friends, and she would lead her life much as she had planned previously with a few minor adjustments. He had also taken care of her last night, the bath had been puzzling, and he had been gentle. Did he feel the need to make up for what he'd done? Or was that yet another manipulation?

But, she realized that line of thought was going in circles. If this really was only one small portion of her life, she didn't need to expend so much mental energy picking it apart. She had better things to do with her time...like continuing the research he'd interrupted last night. And so, she went to her room and changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and then went back to the living room to read his research journals. While she could simply go to her own room and close the door, she thought that would seem too much like retreating, hiding from him and she wasn't going to do that.

And so, they both sat in silence for the next several hours in their own pursuits.

*****

"So, 'Ermione...how goes things with you now? Adjustin' alrigh to Pr'fessr Snape?"

"It's not bad. I've got my own room and we really don't even see each other much. He's usually busy grading papers and I'm usually busy with my schoolwork and friends. So really, not too much of a change," Hermione answered while pretending to sip at the substance in the large, chipped teacup which Hagrid believed to be tea.

"Oh yeah, she's been hanging out with us just as much as before, really. It's like she's not even married," joked Ron, earning a dark scowl from Harry who was still put-out that Hermione had missed breakfast in the Great hall the day before.

But, Hermione wasn't going to let Harry bother her today; she was enjoying their usual Sunday afternoon tea with Hagrid. Of course, it wasn't the tea and rock-cakes which kept them coming back, for the sake of friendship, they pretended to eat the rock-cakes and drink the tea. Fortunately, Hagrid wasn't observant and in the years that this had been their Sunday ritual, he'd never seemed to notice no one ate his treats.

For Hermione, this served to help her realize that though her life had changed drastically in some ways, in many of the important ways, it was the same. Her name had changed, and she still had to be called twice when her professors addressed her as 'Madam Snape' rather than 'Miss Granger', but otherwise she was the same. She would have the same goals, she would hang out with her friends, she would eat too much chocolate at Honeydukes on Hogsmeade weekends and she would pretend to nibble Hagrid's horrid rock-cake and enjoy it.

*****

Hermione stalked to the dungeons and into Potions class, completely incensed. She couldn't believe Professor McGonagall. It was demeaning, as if the entire marriage law wasn't demeaning enough. She walked up to the desk...struck by the oddity that she wasn't sure how to address him. She called him 'Professor Snape' anytime she was required to address him in the classroom setting, but now, class wasn't in session.

'Oh hell,' she thought. It was ridiculous.

"Professor McGonagall has informed me that you, as my 'official guardian as my spouse', should be the one to sign my Hogsmeade permission form, never mind the fact that I'm technically an adult and old enough to be married," she said, somewhat ranting and placed the permission form on his desk.

He didn't say anything. He simply paused momentarily from marking tests, signed the paper, and slid it back across the desk.

Of course he would do that. Why had she been worried? He had told her he wouldn't interfere with her social life...and now that Lucius Malfoy was out of commission, there was no reason for her not to go to Hogsmeade. She left the dungeons and went to deliver her permission form to her head of house, wondering if she was the one allowing the bedroom games to affect her in outside life. Really though, it was no small wonder. The only time they really interacted was in the bedroom or the classroom. They occasionally shared the same space as they read. Could it be that her initial worries that he would want to dominate her outside the bedroom after they married were all of her own fabrication.

She had been prepared to argue her point, to stand up for her rights and he had simply signed the damned paper and handed it over. She wasn't sure if she should be relieved or irritated.

*****

"Albus, is there something in particular which brings you to the dungeons?" Snape asked as he stood aside for the Headmaster to enter his quarters.

"Oh, I was just on a walk and thought I would stop in and see how you have been, Severus."

"Much as usual," Severus muttered, wishing he would get to the point. Dumbledore never was just 'on a walk' through the dungeons.

"And how has Hermione been?"

"Delightfully absent much of the time," he snapped.

"Yes, I just passed Hermione with her friends; she was on her way to Hagrid's for tea, something of a regular tradition with her on Sunday afternoons."

"Get to the point, Albus."

"Oh, it just seems to me, that perhaps you should spend some time with your wife, wouldn't you agree, Severus?"

"My relationship or lack thereof with my wife is not your concern. You have done quite well in your meddling to bring us together. The original purpose for our marriage was to protect her from Lucius Malfoy. Now that he is out of the picture, there is little need for me to look after her beyond making sure that young Mr. Malfoy doesn't decide to exact revenge on behalf of his father."

"Ah, of course. However, there is another matter which brings me here, Severus. I need you to do me a favor. There is an old acquaintance I was to meet, but I'm afraid another pressing matter has come up and I cannot attend. He has an item to deliver, if you would be so kind as to meet him and accept the item in my stead, I would be grateful."

"I suppose I could be bothered, when and where?" he asked tersely. It was no use trying to protest, he'd learned long ago that when the Headmaster wanted something done, it would be done, best really to just get it out of the way.

"A theatre in Newbern in two weeks time; I have two tickets here for you, and I'm sure Hermione would love to accompany you. I also have reservations at a cozy little French restaurant, quite romantic setting I might add, and a lovely bed and breakfast which is a stone's throw from Hadrian's Wall," Albus beamed.

"A Midsummer Night's Dream? Albus, are you out of your mind? This is a Muggle play and a Muggle bed and breakfast," he said, glaring at the tickets in his hand.

"Think of it as a one month anniversary celebration. Have fun," he said, twinkling as he left.

*****

"These essays were appallingly horrific," Professor Snape snapped at the class of seventh year Gryffindor and Slytherin double Potions. "I do hope your end-of-term projects will show more thought than this rubbish. Unfortunate, that only one essay was up to standards in this entire class. Is Madam Snape the only student who bothers to open a textbook outside this classroom?" he asked rhetorically as he sent her a significant glance. "Too bad really, that her study habits could not rub off on her fellow Gryffindors," he said, this time eying Harry and Ron before glaring at several other students who's grade had been more deplorable than the class average.

Hermione looked up in surprise. Could it be possible that he was actually praising her work in class? Yes, it was a backhanded comment to the rest of the class, but in his own way, it was a compliment. But, she heard Blaise Zabini a few rows over hiss loudly to Gregory Goyle, "Yeah, but we know how she gets her grades now." The boys snickered, as did several other Slytherins around the classroom.

Most of the class heard the comment, including Professor Snape, who spun and pinned Zabini with a cold glare. "Mr. Zabini. You have a thought which is so important you must interrupt my class to share it? Pray tell, what gem of information was necessary, in your so astute opinion, to share?" he growled.

"Uh...well, nothing, sir." Blaise tried to look down at his assignment meekly but Snape stalked to tower over him.

"Say it, now, or you'll find yourself in detention with Filch for the remainder of the term."

"Err...um...just that we know how she gets her grades..." he mumbled.

"I see. So, you believe that because Madam Snape is my wife, she receives special treatment in regards to her grades? I assure you, the Board of Governors would likely be interested in that nugget of information if you had sufficient evidence to support such an accusation of impropriety on my part. There would be an investigation, of course, including an evaluation of all of Madam Snape's grades, and perhaps even those of all my students. I am quite sure they would see fit to correct any undeserved marks. Some students may even find their grades dropping, if, perhaps I may have made an error in the past in my grading scale. Do you wish to pursue this, Mr. Zabini?" he asked, his voice at a dangerously threatening near-whisper.

"No, sir, sorry, sir."

"Is there anyone else in here who wishes to make accusations regarding Madam Snape's grades and how she earned them? Not one?" he asked, pacing around the classroom, pinning students with his glare intermittently. "Good, now if that is settled, turn to page three-hundred sixty-two in your textbook..."

Hermione, along with the rest of the class, followed directions. The only sound was the rustling and thumping of books being opened. Hermione shrugged at the astonished looks Harry and Ron gave her. Even a few of the other Gryffindors looked to her questioningly. He had made it quite clear he would treat her no differently in class, but, he had actually defended her...well, himself too...in front of the entire class.

After class, Harry asked her in the hallway. "So, are things really going alright with you and Snape?"

"Oh, getting along as well as can be expected, I guess."

"Well, the way he defended you today...I just wouldn't have expected it..." Harry stammered. "I know I've been, well, a prat about all this, but maybe it's not as bad as I thought, Hermione."

"I'm glad you have finally decided to get over it...now come on or we'll be late for transfigurations," Hermione snapped, wondering why it was that her friends were finally accepting what she had been telling them to while her own doubts were growing.

*****

"Severus, thanks for today...in Potions class. I appreciated that," Hermione said that evening.

"It was not for your benefit, but my own. I will not have allegations that I am showing favoritism. However, since it did have the secondary effect of protecting your reputation, you are welcome," Snape said dryly, not looking up from his book.

"Oh, alright then..." Hermione sighed and went back to her room, depositing her books on her desk and pulling out a chocolate bar to nibble while she studied. There was a test in Arithmancy tomorrow. Though she had kept up on her studies, she had been giving less time than she previously did to them. She could afford to slack off a bit really, she'd been at the top of her class since her first year, but she really needed to study. She had also started her period today...normally; this was a source of irritation. It still was. But, now she couldn't help but wonder if he would want sex...probably not, that was gross, right? But he was kinky...

For now, she would study. Late. Really Late.

It was midnight when she finally pulled herself from her textbooks, rubbing her eyes. She had covered the material for the test thrice over, and read ahead again in her Arithmancy book. Of course she read all her books completely by the third week of classes, but once in a while a refresher was a good idea.

Yawning, she undressed and headed for bed. Staying up this late had been a two fold purpose. She had to study, but she also wanted to find out how he would react if she simply didn't go to bed. Usually, she would get all her studying out of the way before coming back from Gryffindor tower and the times she did study in their quarters were usually on the weekends in the morning before spending the rest of the day with her friends.

After she had visited the bathroom for a quick shower and slid between the sheets beside a quietly sleeping Severus, she wondered why she felt like she was trying to come up with excuses for a late homework assignment. Of course, he hadn't given her a schedule of events or anything like that, and despite the fact that he had laid out the terms of their relationship fairly clearly, there were still fuzzy areas she was trying to define.

Severus rolled over and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her against him firmly as he rested his head at the crook of her neck. Hermione waited to see what would happen next, but his breathing regulated again and she eventually fell asleep with his warm breath falling rhythmically across her neck.

The next evening, she decided to address the subject of sex during her monthly in the living room. The problem was to do it in a way in which she could address the fact that she found it...well, ikky, without making it sound like she was refusing him. Of course, she knew she couldn't refuse him, and she reminded herself again of the practical reasons she had chosen to marry him...she found herself doing that often.

"Severus, I thought I should let you know...since it would affect sex...that I started my cycle," Hermione stated frankly as she crossed the living room to return one of the books he'd given her use of to research the blood lily.

"Yes, I know," he said as he looked up from his grading.

"Oh...ok then. How did you know?"

"You've been eating chocolate for the last three evenings and you've been retaining water weight for the last week. But, as to the effect on sexual relations, I don't see that it makes any difference."

"But...that's..." she made a face of unease.

"Perfectly natural, if a bit messier than usual. Besides, you'll find that sex during your menses can help alleviate cramping, if you have difficulties with that." He looked down as he scrawled another insulting remark across a parchment.

"Oh...I see." Hermione said simply and turned back to her room to get her homework done.

"Hermione, the weekend after next, do you have any plans?"

"No, why?" Hermione asked, somewhat suspicious in the doorway to her room.

"The Headmaster has seen fit to send me on an errand to pick up an item from an acquaintance of his. However, it seems picking up a small item also includes the necessity for two tickets to see 'A Midsummer Night's Dream', reservations for two at a French restaurant, followed by a stay at a bed and breakfast," he said, scowling. "If you are busy do not feel compelled to accept."

"Actually, that sounds quite nice," she responded. He didn't sound all that pleased about going to see a muggle play and eating dinner out. Well, if he had extended the invitation she certainly wasn't going to pass it up. She reminded herself to thank the Headmaster later on...but wondered if his attempt to push a little romance into her marriage would actually work. As she bit into her chocolate bar, the fact that he had actually noticed her very slight water retention and the fact that she was eating chocolate every evening for the last several days made her realize he didn't ignore her like she thought he did. Really, the water weight she had before her cycle started was only a slight puffiness under her chin and in her fingers. He was really very observant if he noticed that.

She discovered later that night that, indeed, sex reduced cramping.

*****

Severus groaned loudly as he came, twisting his hands in Hermione's hair as she knelt between his legs. The lessons had more than paid off.

"Good gods, girl, you do learn fast," he panted as he collapsed back onto his pillow, breathing heavy and ragged. Hermione smiled as she sat back on her heels in the bed, rather elated that she'd caused this reaction. It seemed even here she was a fast learner, and for Severus to offer such unguarded praise...well, it was a rarity. But, her elation was short-lived. She frowned as she moved back to her side of the bed, wondering if she was allowing him to manipulate her feelings now. Why should she feel triumph at this accomplishment? Her first experience had been humiliating, nearly disgusting...and the times after that had been more like taking a class, attempting to follow directions as he spoke to her, instructing her in the movements which produced the most pleasure and the methods to open her throat and relax and breathe in the correct rhythm as she took him past her tonsils. Had it really only been just over three weeks ago?

"I do believe," Severus said, turning to her with a feral grin, "you have earned a reward." He rolled over her and pinned her wrists against the bed and nibbled a trail from her neck to a breast, where he took a nipple in his mouth and sucked and bit lightly. Usually, this elicited a response, but Hermione lay somewhat limply instead, lost in thought, disturbed by her feelings.

She'd actually been happy to have pleased him for a moment. Over the last three weeks she had been on a roller-coaster of emotion...sometimes backing away from the emotional implications with logical reasoning, other times angry, or feeling used, while at other times simply tolerant to the inevitable, telling herself this was the price she paid for a normal life since the Ministry of Magic had seen fit to ruin any real chance for normalcy, and reminding herself that it could be worse. But, this was the first time she had actually felt happy about one of the sexual games since that cherry stem game in her quarters a little over a month before. Had she allowed him to manipulate her so thoroughly that she was now responding to his 'Good girl' comments like a praised puppy?

Hermione realized that Severus had stopped his progress down her body and was now over her, watching her face intently. She tried to school her features into passivity, but he scowled at her. "Hermione, what are you sulking about?"

"Nothing, sir," she answered.

"That certainly seems to be a lot of 'nothing' you're contemplating," he observed.

Hermione put up the Occlumency walls she had read about, hoping he wasn't attempting to read her mind and hoping that this was not another thing which seemed easier in theory than practice.

"No girl, I'm not using Legilimency," he sighed and moved to sit beside her on the bed. "I don't need to be inside your head to know what you're thinking. Your thoughts are quite apparently displayed for anyone who knows what to look for." He knew just what it was too. She was resistant at almost every level. Someone who was experienced at being a sexual submissive would have taken his complement and reward in stride, happy at the accomplishment. But, Hermione couldn't do that...no, she had to analyze it and dissect it, stir it up and pick apart every feeling and thought and urge until she confused herself beyond recovery. Oddly enough, he could identify with that, even if it did make his task more difficult. Ever since he was a child he had watched and analyzed people. It paid to know what people were feeling and how they would react. As a spy this ability had saved his life on numerous occasions. And now, in his marriage, he would have to apply his knowledge in a different way.

He knew she had been trying to figure him out ever since their first meeting after the Marriage Law was passed. He knew she had been searching for answers about her role in their marriage, and so far was finding acceptance difficult. He had even held back further the last two weekends, slowing her conditioning to accept pain and submission because of that. But now, he had to do something about it.

"Hermione, what is it?" he asked, infusing a tone of empathy in his voice.

"Nothing, sir...really," she insisted, clenching her jaw and not meeting his eyes.

"I'll tell you what I think then, since you won't. You found, for the first time, that you really did feel happy having satisfied me, right?"

Hermione simply glared.

"And then," he continued, "You started thinking about how terrible it was that you were allowing yourself to get caught up in a game like this." He looked down at her, seeing he had hit close enough to the mark.

"Come here," he said, getting out of bed, "if you won't talk to me in here, we'll talk in the living room." He pulled the plush blanket from the bed and waited.

Reluctantly, Hermione got up out of bed, not really wanting to have a long talk now. However, his desire to speak in the living room meant that he wasn't going to punish her over anything...he wanted for her to speak with him equally. Well, it still wouldn't really be equally, but she wasn't required to call him 'sir' outside the bedroom. Gently, yet firmly, he guided her to sit in the middle of the couch. He placed the blanket beside her and went to the liquor cabinet where he withdrew a bottle of wine and two glasses. He sat beside her and pulled the coffee table closer to place the wine and glasses there and pulled the cork and poured the wine before he turned sideways. He reached for her shoulders and guided her to lie against his chest, and after tucking the blanket around her body and his legs which were on either side of hers he handed her a glass of wine and took one himself.

"It's time we took care of a few issues Hermione. We are going to talk about this until I am satisfied you understand the situation."

"Is the wine really necessary?" Hermione asked, evading the topic as long as possible.

"Yes, I want you to relax, and I want to relax as well," he said and took a long draw from his glass. He settled his free arm across her upper chest, enforcing the fact that she was going to remain until the matter was settled. He waited for a while before speaking, and when Hermione gulped her wine down in a few swallows, and he had refilled her glass, he began.

"I wondered how easily you would deal with marriage to me. I did warn you, quite clearly of what to expect once we were married. You didn't have to choose me. But, since you did, you are going to have to live with reality," he stated in reasoned tones. "I told you I would expect not only your physical submission, but your active participation, and yet, over the last three weeks, you have resisted me at every turn."

"No, I don't think I have, Severus," Hermione stated firmly. She was feeling a bit angry now, being forced into a 'talk'

"Oh you've given your body over to me, very reluctantly. I had hoped your mental resistance to me would ease, but it seems to have grown stronger. Why do you think that is?"

'Because if I give myself over to you, I'll be letting you win...I'll loose myself in what you desire, I'll be weak...I wouldn't be me anymore.' "I don't know," she answered aloud and took a sip of her wine.

Severus bent forward, twisting slightly to tuck his head near hers and allow his lips to graze her temple as he spoke. "You're afraid," he said softly. "You're afraid of me, and afraid of what will happen if you ever do submit to me."

His words, though soft, struck her with force. He was right. She could feel her heart beating faster, and knowing he could likely feel it too she wanted to be away from him, away from this intimate gesture, a parody of a lovers embrace which seemed like more of a violation than anything he could do to her physically. His warm, strong arms invited her to fall back and revel in the close feeling, to cuddle and hold him close. But that would be wrong somehow...he wasn't like that, she couldn't do that with him...no, they had sex...they fucked...this intimacy was too close. She tried to sit up, but his arm tightened around her again, holding her firmly to his chest.

"Let me go, please," she said, ashamed that it came out almost strangled sounding.

"No," he whispered, following his gentle admonishment with an equally gentle kiss to her temple.

Hermione closed her eyes, feeling hot tears behind her eyelids which she would not allow him to see. And so they sat for several quiet, but intense moments, his lips pressed to her temple, and his other hand, now free of the wine glass reached up to stroke her hair. After a few moments he reached down her arm, removed the wine glass from her left hand drew it up so she could see the light glinting from the jewels in her ring, arranging his own ring close by.

"I have wondered why you chose the stones you did, Hermione. The Sapphire, peace and serenity; the Ruby, passion; why would these be your first two stones? Can you imagine achieving peace with me if you fight me? Can you imagine passion if you won't allow yourself to feel?"

"I didn't think you cared about those things," Hermione bit back, allowing him to hear her anger and frustration.

"I don't want you to be unhappy, I've told you that several times now. Answer this: What do you think of when you hear the word 'Serenity'?" he asked, thinking a bit of word-association might help break through her barriers...he needed something more to work with.

The plaques in her grandmother's house were the first things she thought of. And she immediately stiffened, knowing how that would play out.

"Tell me, you did think of something, what is it?" he prompted. "You are tempting me to employ Veritaserum," he warned after another moment of silence.

"Plaques...in my grandmother's house, she had lots of them, as well as knick-knacks with 'The Prayer of Serenity' on them. It was from AA."

"And what is 'AA'?" he asked, patiently.

"Alcoholics Anonymous...it's a muggle support group for recovering alcoholics," she said...maybe if she bored him with inanities he would be distracted.

"And your grandmother was an alcoholic?" he asked...not judgmentally, simply curiously.

"No, actually she wasn't...she lived in a small town where the main social activity was drinking at the pub, or talking about not drinking at the AA support group. She didn't like to drink, so she went to the AA meetings instead. She still holds the longest running record for sobriety in her group," Hermione explained with a slight chuckle.

"I see...I won't pretend to understand Muggles. So then, back to the point...what is the prayer of Serenity?"

Hermione took a deep breath and sighed...there was no way to evade the question any longer so she may as well get it over with. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference," she recited blandly.

"Poignant, don't you think?" he asked.

"I suppose," she said noncommittally.

"And how might that apply to your situation?" he asked. He could, of course, simply tell her. But if she had to make the connections and acknowledge the solution aloud to him, she wouldn't be able to evade it any longer.

"I suppose," she began, "It means that I should accept what I can't change."

"And...?"

"And since I'm in a situation I can't change, it would be better to accept that than to fight against it."

"Precisely. You can't change the fact that we are married, nor can you change the things which go along with being married to me. You haven't been accepting that, you've been fighting it. Hermione, I don't want you to feel used and miserable...and I know that's how you have felt. But, I did tell you before we married what I would expect. If you keep resisting me like this, you'll make yourself miserable."

"It's not what I expected it to be," Hermione admitted, relaxing somewhat, in spite of herself, into his embrace. "I mean, I knew there would be some discomfort involved...but not..." she trailed off, unsure of how to phrase it, not really wanting to voice the way she'd felt.

"Earlier, you were actually satisfied for a moment," Severus said, turning the conversation. "There was no reason for you not to be pleased, and yet you seemed to think that was wrong of you, am I right?"

"Yes, you're right," she sighed.

"And why would you think that was wrong?"

"Because...I...well..." really, anything else she could have put into coherent thought, but she couldn't seem to say what she wanted in a way which would come out right.

"Hermione, there was absolutely nothing wrong with feeling pleased. There was absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You did exactly as I wanted you to, you were perfection. I believe I would have given extra credit had I been grading you," he said, chuckling slightly on the last bit. "The time that we are together is something completely separate from the rest of your life. In my bed, you can let go of everything because ultimately, what happens is up to me. You can't change it, you can only choose to accept it or not. There is nothing to be gained by resisting, absolutely nothing. And there is nothing to loose by giving yourself to me freely. Do you understand this Hermione?"

"I...I guess so," she answered hesitantly.

"I want you to try it, really try now, to accept that you are mine. I will never do anything to injure you; you can trust that you will never be truly harmed with me. Can you do that?"

"I'll try," Hermione said, wondering if he was right. Could it simply be her resistance that was making her unhappy with the situation?

"Good girl," he whispered. "Come with me now; give yourself over...remember that whatever happens, I am in control. If I choose to reward you, accept that without guilt." He stood; disentangling his legs from where he'd wrapped them around her hips, and took her hand, leading her back to the bedroom where he directed her to lay back.

"That's right, Hermione...no guilt," he muttered as he climbed over her and kissed her. He reached to the bedpost, where the silk cords held the bed curtains back and unwrapped it from the curtain. Next, he grasped her arms, not forcefully, but with confidence, meeting her eyes as he tied her wrists.

She decided to try, really try to accept it...his long, slow kiss, his tongue caressing her own, his hands roaming her body, the cords around her wrists. They weren't tight, if she wanted she could easily remove them, it was a symbolic binding.

If it were true that there was nothing to gain from resistance, maybe it was best. She worked on relaxing, pushing thoughts of her life from her mind, not thinking about her next exam or her friends and their plans, for the moment, she would try to think only of the here and now, of his lips moving down her neck, placing gentle kisses between her breasts, his firm hands gripping her hips and lifting them as he knelt between her legs. She arched her back, taking his silent direction to place her feet on the bed behind him and support her weight.

"In here, while I am with you, you are mine, Hermione...mine," he said, as he moved up between her legs, slowly entering her. Neither closed their eyes or looked away, but instead, cinnamon and obsidian locked together, truly connecting for the first time. "There is no shame in accepting that. Whatever happens here, you don't need to worry, your hands are tied...trust me," he murmured as he thrust into her.

Something changed...something significant. She was aware on some level that perhaps he was just saying all those things to make it easier for him. But, whatever his reasons were, his words were truth. She would gain nothing through resistance, and would loose nothing through acceptance.

"That's right, Hermione," he said seductively as he moved an arm under her back to leave his other hand free to reach up and grasp a breast. "Accept it," he whispered as he took a nipple between thumb and forefinger and pinched.

Hermione winced at the pain, but drove away any anger she would have normally felt...she breathed deeply, allowing herself to simply feel, for this moment she could lose herself in him and would find herself again and be who she had always been, Hermione Granger...now Hermione Snape, the bossy girl who told her friends to do their homework, the girl who could punch Draco Malfoy, who could turn an evil woman over to a herd of angry centaurs, who wouldn't allow the Ministry of Magic to ruin her future, but for now, and only while she was in here with him, she could give it all up, not worry about what would happen next, what decision had to be made, or which of her friends needed prodding to study. He pinched harder, and once more she quelled her resistance and simply felt as she gazed into his eyes, seeing the sparkle of lust, the way he pulled his lips back to reveal his crooked teeth in a feral grimace of pleasure.

He rose up, once more grasping both her hips firmly, heaving her up as he increased his tempo, pounding into her forcefully. Hermione closed her eyes, wrapped her legs around his back and focused on the moment, feeling him pounding deep inside her, wrenching her hips with the force and driving her back against the headboard where she placed her bound hands to keep from hitting her head. She cried out as she climaxed powerfully, lost in the feeling of his body and her body writhing together, pounding, hearing his growl as he came soon after she had, the power of his climax driving her into another orgasm.

He collapsed over her, supporting his weight on his elbows, panting loudly. After a moment, when they had both caught their breath he asked, "Do you see now?"

Hermione looked into his eyes and answered, "Yes...I see now, sir." And she did. Something had changed, really, it was her attitude, but it made such a difference. Their...coupling...she wasn't sure if she would ever be able to call sex between them making love...it had been different, there had been something else, an understanding. For the first time she had truly allowed him to take the lead, to guide her without mental protest.

"Good," he said and kissed her again and she let him know through her kiss that she accepted his lead, focusing on forming herself to his desire as he claimed her while still ignoring the small, niggling voice in the back of her mind which protested...the part of her that always wanted to take charge of a situation. She could accept surrender, at least here.

Severus pulled away and watched Hermione who gave him a small smile. He allowed the corners of his mouth to tug upwards as well and lay back on the bed. He pulled her bound wrists to his chest and slowly unwrapped them before releasing her and lying down.

She had been succumbing to fits of melancholy over the last two weeks, often after sex, and sometimes even during. It was quite distracting. And although Hermione would require much more work than a temporary relationship, in the end, she would prove much more satisfactory. Now that she was over the first hurdle, he would be able to safely demand more of her. He would be gradual, her state of mind at this time was still precarious, it wouldn't take much to send her back to being afraid and ashamed, but if she were handled carefully she would do quite well.

He had made definite progress with her tonight. He'd known the time would come for that talk and had carefully prepared what he would say and how he would say it...finding the right balance of reassurance and the stating of fact. Hermione had a sharp mind, so he couldn't be careless with her; nor could he lie to her because when she discovered his falsehoods it would be worse than if he had said nothing at all, and so he had carefully presented her with the truth in just the right amounts to lead her to the conclusion he wanted her to find.

Just as he was drifting off to sleep, the thought that he could identify with her need to analyze emotions and people's motivations crossed through his mind. He hadn't expected to find anything in common with her. But, it was a fleeting thought as sleep overtook him.

--------------------------

A/N: There is a wonderful artist out there by the name of Le Devine Marquis who does beautiful Snape drawings. She has one which fits the last scene in this story very well, go check it out! http://www.blackcat-creations.com/dd/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13&PN=1 the particular picture is about halfway down the page.