The Day Arrives
You Can't Have One Without The Other
Chapter 8 of 31
RachelWDraco returns to Hogwarts, but he doesn?t react as they would have thought. Hermione and Severus get married and have the wedding night, Hermione wonders if she?s done the right thing.
ReviewedHermione walked between Harry and Ron down to the dungeons for Monday morning's Double Potions class. Harry hadn't really spoken to her, and seemed distracted. She had noticed Ron glancing over to him and rolling his eyes, apparently Harry was being sullen about something again. No one had said anything to her yesterday about their Head of House yelling, but everyone had looked at her oddly. She was beginning to look forward to her wedding if for nothing else than the fact that she'd have her own space where the other Gryffindors would just quit looking all the time. It was downright unsettling.
They stood amongst the mingling students outside the potions classroom, waiting for time to enter. Hermione was arranging her book bag more comfortably when she saw Harry stiffen and his gaze narrow and focus to the other side of the gathered students.
"He's back," Harry said softly. Ron looked over and set his jaw, and Hermione turned to see Draco Malfoy standing in the hallway. Apparently, he had taken care of the immediate needs concerning his father's confinement in St. Mungo's. He didn't look up to see the scrutiny the trio was paying him, and oddly, his typical smirk was gone. His grey eyes seemed empty of the contempt he usually held and he looked down at the flagstones. Hermione glanced around to find his ever-present goon squad, and saw Crabbe and Goyle standing on the other side of the hallway, sharing confused looks and glancing back and forth between Malfoy and each other.
When the door opened for them to enter the class trailed in and quickly took their seats. As Draco Malfoy passed the place where Hermione sat he paused and looked at her. Hermione looked up, expecting him to insult her or rage, but instead he seemed almost contemplative. He scowled slightly and then moved on to his seat.
Hermione looked up to Professor Snape and saw the exchange had not gone unnoticed. His face was unreadable as usual, but throughout the class he observed the young Malfoy closely. Something had changed there, but what it was he could not be certain. Malfoy didn't look at him, rather he kept his eyes down and only glanced up when he needed to jot down the ingredients for the potion they were brewing on the board.
****
Professor Snape continued his scrutiny of Draco Malfoy over the next two weeks. The young man had changed, perhaps he was in shock, but he displayed none of the anger Snape had expected to see. However, he didn't underestimate him. Malfoy could simply be biding his time, waiting to find a way at revenge. On the other hand, Snape knew that the elder Malfoy ruled his son with an iron hand. He had spoiled him in material things, but was still overbearing. Perhaps Draco would come to the conclusion that he was better off with his father out of his life, and having his inheritance early.
He had shared his concerns with the staff, and made sure Hermione knew to stay clear of him and not to walk the corridors alone. Though Potter and Weasley were annoyances to him, he was at least confident that they could hold their own against Malfoy or Crabbe and Goyle. But, that was just one of a number of things on his mind lately. Hermione had moved all but her barest essentials into her room in his quarters, thanking him for the separate entrance. The Weasley girl had been helping her unpack and organize when he went to his quarters last Thursday evening. His first inclination had been to be upset about the invasion of his space; however, he'd reminded himself that he had agreed that she could have friends over. As long as they remained in her room, he wouldn't make a fuss.
Albus had made mention of the fact, in his personal offhand barmy-old-fart demeanor, that locking charms were good to apply when one wanted privacy...apparently McGonagall had gone straight to him about the scene she had walked in on. He would have loved to have been a fly on the wall at that confrontation, but apparently Albus had managed to calm the deputy Headmistress somewhat and she had settled on casting him dirty looks at the high table and in staff meetings.
He had accompanied Hermione to muggle London the weekend after purchasing their rings. They had visited three bookstores, and after each bookstore she had looked more perturbed. He knew what she was looking for, having looked over her shoulder as she looked up titles in the store computer registry, and while he admired the fact that she was eager to learn more, he had his reasons for not wanting her to pick up something like 'The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty' and its sequels.
Though he wasn't up to date on muggle publications (he was loath to call it literature), a previous liaison (who he had thought quite the twit, though she had been fun for a short time) had given him the books, claiming they had given her the ideas behind what it meant to submit. He had read the books and found the concepts within to be laughable for the most part, including a number of physically impossible acts, and a ridiculous social structure. That having been his only foray into what a muggle would write on the topic, and since he hadn't wanted to inflict himself with more trite garbage, he thought it best that she simply see none of it. And so, Hermione had been unable to find the books due to a few discreetly placed charms to misdirect her from them.
He had walked back to Gryffindor Tower with her after the trip, and had been pleasantly surprised that she invited him in for tea. When he declined, she had shyly mentioned that she was wondering if he might want to play another 'game' before they were married. He had replied in the negative, though it would have been fun, he wasn't going to have her getting used to setting the stage between them.
Severus was sitting in his quarters, it was Friday evening and they would be married on the morrow. He had pulled his wedding robes from his wardrobe. They were a deep green, representing new life and growth. The color suited him well, though he never wore anything but black.
Hermione's parents would be at Hogwarts as well for the wedding tomorrow. He wondered if he should seek them out, perhaps speak with her father again, but in the end decided not to. He was still a stranger to them, and they would likely want to spend time with Hermione tonight and may look on his presence as an intrusion.
Since he would be busy tomorrow he went ahead into his lab to brew the contraceptive potion for Hermione. It would be the monthly variety. He decided to teach her to brew it after this, it was a fairly complex potion, though not all the contraceptive potions were, this one was simply particularly effective.
****
The Wedding day was a flurry of activity. Molly Weasley had come to help with the wedding preparations, as well as to talk with Jane Granger. The Weasley's had taken it upon themselves to represent the wizarding world to Hermione's parents, and they had developed a friendship over the years as both Muggle and Wizard couples learned more about each other's worlds.
Fortunately, Molly Weasley had also been busy putting Jane's worries to rest, or at least subduing them as Hermione sat and had her hair done by Molly.
"Really Jane, this whole Marriage Law thing has been a surprise for everyone, but I'm sure Hermione will be just fine with Severus. I've known him for years...he's always been a bit withdrawn from most people, but he really has sacrificed so much. We would have never defeated Vo...you-know-who, without him."
"True, he did seem fairly nice when we had dinner with him last month. And Hermione tells me that they've been getting better acquainted since they've become engaged. I still have to worry about this kind of set-up though."
"Oh I understand being a muggle you probably haven't known many people from arranged marriages. It has been less common even in the Wizarding world for the last several decades, but I know many happy people who hadn't even seen each other before their wedding day...my parents for one."
"What about you and Arthur?"
"Oh we actually didn't have an arranged marriage. We married just after leaving Hogwarts, we just couldn't wait, you see."
"Ow..." Hermione exclaimed as Molly, who was distracted in reminiscing her youth, pulled a bit too hard on a lock of hair.
"Oh sorry dear," she said and returned her attention to the head of hair before her. "As I was saying Jane...Arthur and I got married right out of Hogwarts. But, still, at that time I had several close friends who were getting married to people their parents had arranged. I have learned from them that love isn't something you have to have right away...it grows over the years even between two strangers. Now Hermione dearie, I know this must seem strange to marry Severus Snape now, but mark my words, you won't regret it. I know I would have been more than happy to be preparing you to marry Ron today...but well, I know everything will work out anyway."
Hermione wondered why it was that people had such mixed reactions to her marriage. She had quite a bit of respect for Molly Weasley and Albus Dumbledore, who both seemed to think it was going to be wonderful. However, she also respected Professor McGonagall, and wondered why she would have been so opposed.
She could deal with her friends being upset, reasoning that they weren't thinking about long term stability or about the issues she was focused on. Harry's biggest concern seemed to be his suspicion that she had been influenced by a potion, and that she was going to have to sleep with someone he found repulsive. Really, quite shallow reasoning.
Her parents had taken the news better than she had thought they might overall, though they still had reservations. However, most of their reservations seemed to be about the sudden arranged marriage itself rather than who she was marrying. She did wonder briefly what they would have thought if they had met Kingsley Shacklebolt as well. While he was only a few years younger than Severus, he probably would have made a better impression overall simply through his easygoing, bright personality.
She moved through the rest of the afternoon in something of a surreal haze and with growing butterflies in her stomach. Memories of his hand on her throat that first night she had spoken to him about the possibility of marriage, the way he had spoken to her, completely unapologetic about what he would want from her. She reviewed the Arithmantic calculations in her head again, reminding herself that the future would be better according to the calculations...she would have the independence she wanted to study, she would have the choice on when to begin a family, and his assurance that outside the bedroom things would be equal between them.
But, when she thought back to the memory of hanging helplessly across his thigh, wondering what on earth could have possibly struck her as the slightest bit arousing about that, she wondered if it would be fine after all. And then two weeks ago, he had seemed to enjoy spanking her...when he'd left that night she had stolen a glance in the mirror, shocked that his handprints were still visible on her backside. If he'd enjoyed that, he would likely enjoy much more than that...but would she enjoy it?
Her attempt to find some books on the topic in muggle bookstores had proved fruitless...but the fact that books were available in which characters found themselves tied up and being punished in various ways seemed to hint that some people actually did enjoy it. So, would she learn to as well?
****
Severus Snape finished smoothing the green silk of his wedding robes...they were cut in much the same way as his typical frock coat, the eighteenth century style suited him, even if it wasn't black. He placed the wedding ring in his breast pocket and prepared to leave, casting one last glance in the mirror. His hair was in place, tied back at the nape of his neck.
There was a firm knock on his door...likely the headmaster coming to make sure he was going to show up for his own wedding. However, when he opened the door he was looking down at a rather determined looking Harry Potter.
"Potter, what do you want?" he snarled.
"I want to talk to you...about Hermione."
"What of her?"
"You had better treat her right. I'll know if you don't."
"Listen here Potter," he growled, "You have no place coming here to lecture me about how to treat my bride. Now go away."
"No, I'm not going to go away. You've done something to her, she should have picked Kingsley and she didn't and it's because you did something to her...what was it, a potion? And what the hell were you doing to her the other night in her room?"
Severus looked down at the petulant boy before him, quelling the urge to hex him. However, he smirked instead. "Actually, Potter, I have done nothing to influence her decision but answer her numerous questions. And as to what I was doing to her Saturday evening, I was simply giving her a foretaste of what she could expect when married to me," he drawled slowly, savoring the look of revulsion on Potter's face. "I suggest you stay out of my business, Potter...that includes what goes on between me and my wife. Twenty points from Gryffindor for disrespecting a teacher. Now GO!" Snape didn't wait for him to leave, but simply slammed the door in his face.
He wondered if the boy would give him any more troubles, and made a mental note to add a few more wards to his quarters. The Boy Who Lived had an annoying habit of sneaking into places he wasn't supposed to be, and Severus had a feeling that his latest obsession with Hermione's fate would lead him to trespass in search of evidence to use against him. Not that it would matter; really...he would just rather not have to worry about the Potter boy invading his space. He realized he would likely have to be more careful not to mark Hermione in places easily seen...that would have the boy up in arms faster than anything.
****
Hermione felt weak and slightly dizzy and held her father's arm tighter. They were standing before the doors of the Room of Requirement where she would be bound for life to her husband.
"Are you going to be ok?" Frank asked his daughter worriedly.
"Yes...let's go." Hermione steeled her resolve and firmly set her shoulders.
He led her in through the double doors...Hermione looked around amazed at what the room looked like. It had been transformed into a circle of standing stones, much like Stonehenge only this wasn't in ruins. Those who had been invited stood around the stones, facing the central alter where Albus Dumbledore stood along with another wizard she didn't recognize. To one side of the altar stood her betrothed dressed in sumptuous green formal robes.
She glanced around at those present as her father guided her to stand before the altar. Molly and Arthur Weasley stood with Ron, Harry and Ginny. Minerva McGonagall, Professor Sinistra, Professor Vector, and Professor Flitwick were the other Hogwarts staff in attendance. She returned the encouraging smile from Remus Lupin as she passed him...several others from the Order were in attendance as well...Tonks and Moody. No other students were there, but perhaps that was for the best. She focused back to Severus who was carefully watching her.
When she reached the altar Professor Dumbledore smiled kindly at her and began the ceremony.
"It is my honor and privilege to join these two in marriage. I have known Severus Snape for many years now, and count myself fortunate to call him a friend. And as to Hermione Granger, I have known her as a student who excelled at all she set out to achieve, and as one who had been true to her friends and who always has faced decisions with poise and forethought. I have the greatest confidence that the road ahead will be a happy one.
"Severus and Hermione, join hands now and know that as you hold each other through this first step in your lives together, you will hold each other through many years to come."
Hermione took a deep breath and reached forward with both her hands which were met and held by Severus's hands.
"Severus Snape, do you take Hermione Jane Granger to be your wife, to hold and protect, to support through times of trial, and to celebrate with in times of joy?"
"I do," he said in a voice which seemed to reverberate through her very bones.
"Hermione Granger, do you take Severus Marcus Aurelius Snape to be your husband, to hold and conform to, to support through times of trial, and to celebrate with in times of joy?"
"I do," she said, managing to hold her own voice steady and imbue it with a confidence she wasn't sure she really felt.
"Severus Snape, I bid you place the ring which holds your hopes and dreams of what may be achieved in your union on Hermione's finger," Dumbledore intoned. Hermione could hardly catch her breath as he reached into his breast pocket with one hand, while his other held her left hand ready for the ring. She looked at the ring with some surprise.
"Hermione Granger, I bid you place the ring which holds your hopes and dreams of what may be achieved in your union on Severus's finger." Hermione reached for the ring with shaking fingers and withdrew it from the small, nearly invisible pocket in her sleeve and raised it to Severus's waiting finger. When she looked up to his eyes she saw the glimmer there of surprise at her choice.
The rings were identical.
A one carat circular cut sapphire, representing serenity and peace, were the centerpieces for each ring, flanked by half carat rubies for passion, then peridots for protection, and finally, diamonds...a hope that love could be achieved. The outer stones were square cut but placed at a diagonal to the edge of the ring, both rings were brushed platinum. The only difference was that his ring had a squared band, and was larger and thicker, where hers was rounded and thinner, but still quite solid.
Dumbledore raised his wand and began to chant an incantation. A whirling energy started at the feet of both the bride and groom and whirled around and upwards, two figure eights swirling and rushing as the binding spell took effect. She gripped Severus's warm, large hands tightly as the tingling and rushing sensation pulsed through her body. She was peripherally aware that the ministry official was now casting his own spells and could feel another tingle. These would be the additional spells to ensure fidelity and a monitoring spell to ensure the couple was adhering to the weekly copulation requirements.
"I present Severus and Hermione Snape, now bound together through the rest of their natural lives. May they receive the support of friends and family in their new life together. Severus, you may now kiss your bride," he finally said as he beamed at the two.
Severus leant forward to kiss Hermione. Their lips met and it seemed to each of them that they were pulled together and held as a crackle of magical energy washed over them. They separated then, Hermione felt flushed and energized.
"And now," Dumbledore announced, "Let us eat and celebrate." He clapped his hands together and the Room of Requirement morphed from the outdoor Standing stones setting to a small ballroom, just the right size to hold the occupants comfortably, with a nice buffet to one side. She wasn't sure what to do next, and stood awkwardly, still holding her husband's hands. He took the initiative and tucked one of her hands into the crook of his arm as he turned.
The reception that followed was fairly quiet. Hermione stood with Severus through much of it, receiving the congratulations of the professors and Order members. She felt too nervous to eat, and after she had picked at her plate of cake and other bits of food Severus leaned over and whispered, "Eat up, wife; you'll need your strength."
Dumbledore seemed to be the only one who was truly happy with the arrangement. Harry hadn't spoken to her at all, but stood in one corner looking sullen, and casting occasional glares towards her and Severus.
After about half an hour of the reception, Severus Snape looked down at his bride. "Madam Snape," he intoned, "it is time we retire to our quarters." He offered his arm and she took it, her fingers clutching his arm firmly. He led her from the room of requirement and through the halls of Hogwarts to the dungeons. They said nothing as they walked; he kept his pace steady as he led her. He could feel her trembling nervously. And he was surprised to feel a tickling in his stomach, which he tried to pass off as too much sugar in the cake he had consumed.
They finally reached the dungeons, then their rooms. Once inside he glanced over to observe his wife. He could see the pulsing of an artery in her neck, it was rapid, as was her breathing which she was attempting to calm. Without preamble, he led her into the bedroom after he had re-set the wards.
It was dark when they walked in, but a muttered 'Lumos' lit the myriad of candles he had placed in there and cast a warm glow around the room. He led her to stand on a plush sheepskin rug on the floor and moved in front of her, resting a hand on each of her shoulders. Her eyes traced around the room, and across his green wedding robes, and eventually wound their way over his face and then met his eyes. She gave him a tentative smile and he gazed at her intensely.
"I...I'm not really sure what to do next," she admitted to him.
"You need not worry about that, Hermione; I will tell you what to do," he assured her in his rich, warm tone. "But for now, I am going to undress you."
He moved behind her, careful not to step on the train. It wasn't overly long, but he didn't want to get footprints on it. He traced his fingers over her shoulders and then moved down to the first button at the back of her dress. Slowly, he unbuttoned it to the waist, and then slipped his fingers underneath the dress to trace along the smooth skin of her back. She let out a breath and he realized she had been holding it all that time. He pushed the dress off her shoulders and guided its fall.
"Step out of the dress," he prompted. She moved to comply with shaky movements. She stood in her bra and panties, white satin and lace. He crossed the room to drape the dress over a chair and returned to her.
Hermione didn't feel the chill of the dungeon bedroom as much as she thought she would and wondered if he had placed a warming charm in the room. She tensed as his footsteps approached her again and she felt his fingertips tracing patterns along her shoulders and back, and then he gently pushed the straps of her bra from her shoulders and unclasped the back. He pulled the garment from her, leaving her feeling exposed and unsure. Next, he moved his hands down her sides, catching his fingers in the waistband of her lacy knickers and pulled them down her legs. She responded to his nudge of each foot and stepped out of the panties. He removed her shoes next, leaving her naked.
She wasn't sure what to do with herself, and unconsciously hunched her shoulders a bit and moved to cross her arms over her chest...she had always been on the modest side, even when she shared a room through her first six years at Hogwarts with other girls, she always changed clothes in the bathroom or behind the curtains of her bed, even though the other girls showed no embarrassment at changing openly while chatting on about anything and everything.
"Do not cover yourself," Severus ordered, causing her to start a bit. "Put your hands at your sides. If you try to cover yourself again I will tie your hands so you cannot." His voice was low, and his demands spoken with an assurance that simultaneously frightened and comforted her. Perhaps it was comforting since it was her first time, and it was certainly easier to be told what to do rather than to have to take the initiative herself. When faced with sex for the first time, she didn't feel quite as bold as she did in other endeavors. She moved her hands to her sides and watched him as he walked around from behind her, looking at her appraisingly. He didn't touch her as he made his first circuit, he simply looked.
As he passed around her the second time he reached a hand to trace down her arm, then across her midriff, causing her to catch her breath again. His hand caressed her hip as he turned around her, and then cupped a buttock, his other hand sliding up her spine.
"I am looking forward to teaching you," he intoned in his best, luxurious voice into her ear. She trembled, both at the breath on her neck and the tone of his voice. Her stomach was churning with nervousness and excitement at the same time.
"Kneel," he said as he circled back to face her. She looked at him questioningly a moment and he clarified, "on your knees, sit back on your heels and keep your back straight."
Hermione sank to her knees and sat back. She wasn't sure what to do with her hands, and rested them on her thighs a moment before returning them to her sides. Her knees were together, and he moved a toe to wedge between them and said, "Spread your knees...wider...there." Hermione felt completely exposed now, her knees were spread as far as she could hold them comfortably while sitting back on her heels.
"Good, you are taking instruction well," he said and turned to walk to the bedside table where Hermione saw one potions vial filled with a white liquid, and two more potions vials which were empty on stands atop the nightstand. She was looking at them curiously as he brought the white potion to her. He bent over to grasp her jaw and tilted her head back.
"Drink this," he said as he tilted the vial and poured it into her mouth. It didn't taste bad, whatever it was. "Contraceptive potion," he explained. He returned to place the empty vial into the stand and then came back and stood before her. She looked up, wondering what would be next. She felt rather small, kneeling before him like this, naked, exposed, while he stood over her still completely clothed.
"Before we begin, I want to make sure you understand a few things. First and foremost, when we are in here, I am your master." He paused a moment as he walked around behind her. "You will obey me completely and without question. You may speak when I ask you a direct question, but otherwise you may not talk. When you do answer questions, you will use 'sir' in addressing me. Do you understand thus far?"
"Y-Yes, sir," Hermione stammered.
"Good. Secondly, your body is mine to do what I please, when I please. You are mine, Hermione. You had your chance to choose someone who would have been gentle with you, who would have likely been satisfied with maintaining the letter of the law, but you chose me. When you find yourself regretting that decision, and there will be times you regret it, remind yourself of the fact that you chose me knowing full well what I would expect. Do you understand?"
Hermione had a more difficult time answering. He was serious and she knew it. She realized he had stopped his slow circuit around her kneeling form and was looking down at her, waiting for her answer. She drew in a deep breath and answered shakily, "Yes, sir."
"Good. And now," he said, voice changing to a seductive, low purr, "I am going to teach you some of the delights your body can produce. I do believe I will take my time, and you will quite enjoy yourself." He smirked down at her for a moment, considering what to do next. "You may undress me now; start with my boots."
Hermione reached forward where he had lifted his right foot from the floor slightly and grasped the heel of his boot. She took a deep breath and pulled. His boots weren't too difficult to remove. She placed them side by side at the edge of the bed and wondered what she should do next. His foot lifting again prompted her to remove each of his socks. His feet were narrow, pale, and had a smattering of dark hair across the top. She looked up his body; she would have to remove the green robes next. She stood, knees protesting slightly from the time she had spent on them and reached up with trembling hands to the buttons at his collar. She certainly hadn't expected to undress him like this tonight, and especially not in this incredibly nerve-wracking way.
He simply watched her quietly, appraisingly. He saw her trembling movements, but noted that she was doing her best to hold steady. She had taken orders well so far, he thought. He'd had a small, niggling worry that she would suddenly realize what she had agreed to and succumb to tearful begging. She hadn't. She was nearly done with the buttons on his dress robe, which was a similar cut to his typical black frock coat. He held his arms away from his sides slightly to allow her to pull the garment from his shoulders.
"Place it with your gown," he said when she had removed it. He watched her walk to the chair and placed the robe neatly across the chair. He usually kept that chair closer to the bed, but had moved it in preparation for this evening. It was good to watch her cross the room, stepping down from the semi-circular dais as she walked away from him. He saw her self-consciousness as she turned, but she quelled the urge to try to cover herself again. Her body was near perfection and she stood at just the right height, the top of her head coming to just below his chin. Her hips were rounded delicately, her belly flat, yet slightly convex. Her breasts looked marvelous, not overly large, firm, and in need of little support. His eyes traced back down her body, to the soft triangle of neatly trimmed curls. He could see the red flush across her face and neck, likely shyness at his scrutiny.
Hermione reached up to his neck again to begin with his white shirt. When she had unbuttoned it, she pulled it gently from his pants and remembered his sleeve cuffs in time. She made another trip to the chair to drape the shirt across the clothing...only his pants were left. She glanced up to his face, and found he was watching her with gleaming eyes and a satisfied smirk. Her trembling fingers closed around the buttons of his trousers, and she unbuttoned them...he hadn't worn any underwear.
Her breathing increased in speed as she slid the pants down his thighs, trying to avert her gaze from his proudly jutting penis. Really, it was much more difficult to not look though, and she looked anyway. The smooth, pale skin of his shaft jutted from thick, black curls...she could see the small veins which wrapped around his shaft, which widened at the tip before tapering down to an opening which was rolling back, stretching as he grew more erect to reveal his glistening red glans.
He stepped out of the pants as she knelt before him and when she returned from draping them over the chair she looked at him fully. He was a bit on the thin side, but his muscled were well defined, with very little fat. He seemed to stand in a pose just as intimidating while naked as he did swathed in his black robes. His shoulders were held back and he had not a trace of shyness at his body. In fact, he seemed quite amused by her blushing.
His hands reached up, fingers tracing through her hair, guiding her head to tilt back as he claimed her mouth with his, plunging his tongue within, ravaging her mouth as he firmly gripped her buttocks. Wordlessly, he guided her to the bed and watched as she complied, moving towards the middle at his prompting and laying back. Her shy movements were enticing. The opportunity he had here was exhilarating. She was completely untouched; she had the theoretical knowledge, but no experience. He would be her only experience, and she would learn exactly what he liked in exactly the way he chose to teach her, to imprint her.
He climbed on the bed after her, amused as she closed her eyes in embarrassment. "Open your eyes, now," he reprimanded. "I want you to watch me," he purred and reached a hand out to her shoulder, caressing down her body, to the outside of her breast and down to her knee, producing a shiver and causing gooseflesh to rise over her arms and legs. He spent several minutes simply stroking her like that, along her arms, legs, and belly. When she relaxed to his touch Severus ran his fingers over both breasts, causing her to arch and gasp at the sensation. He rubbed the palms of his hands over her nipples for a moment before moving down to nudge her thighs apart.
He was watching her face for signs of resistance...she looked determined though, as if she were mentally preparing herself for an onslaught. "Relax," he intoned gently. "I won't hurt you today any more than necessary." He watched with satisfaction as she nodded stiffly and took in a deep breath. He was kneeling between her legs, running his fingers lightly over her thighs until he moved one hand over her mons, pressing down and rubbing in a circular motion with the heel of his hand, stimulating her clitoris. He could feel a slight dampness from between her outer labia and slipped his thumb between them to run it over her damp folds. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply with pleasure.
"I told you not to close your eyes," he growled. Her eyes shot open and she settled on nervously chewing her lower lip. Severus leaned forward and engaged her mouth with his own to quell her nervous tic. Soon enough, he was nipping down her neck with Hermione writhing under him. He paused at her breasts for a few minutes to lave her nipples and then trailed nips and kisses down her body until he reached her glistening sex and buried his mouth and nose between her folds.
Hermione jumped and the sudden invasion and the waves of pleasure washing over her. This was much better than the descriptions she'd heard. It was difficult so far to quell her nervousness, but she was doing better. His tongue was lapping across her clitoris, causing her hips to jerk in time to his movements. Soon, the sensation seemed to overwhelm her and she wasn't sure how much more she could take. Without thinking, she reached down to try to push him away. "Too much...I can't...it's too much," she whimpered. He pulled away, and she felt a sudden surge of fear at the look on his face.
"You will not push me away," he hissed.
"Sorry...I couldn't help it, it was too much."
"I see then," he said and got out of bed. Hermione wasn't sure what he was doing, but her eyes widened in shock when he returned from the chest with a length of cotton rope.
"Since you can't keep your hands away, and I've promised to inflict no pain this evening, the only alternative is to tie your hands," he informed her smoothly. His hand shot out and grabbed first one, then the other wrist, wrapping the rope quickly about her wrists and bringing her hands over her head, where he tied the loose end of the rope through a strategically placed slat in the headboard.
Before she could react, he had returned to his previous position between her legs and was sucking at her clitoris. This time the sensation quickly overwhelmed her again...it was intense, shooting through her body like electric current. She gritted her teeth and tried to quell the intense feelings. Soon enough it stopped and she looked up to see Severus looming over her.
"I see you're not one who generally likes giving up control," he observed dryly. "This will go much easier if you relax, and I'm not going to stop until I make you come at least once."
As good as his word, he bent down and continued his ministrations. She tried to relax and deepen her breathing, focusing on accepting rather than resisting his touch and soon the sensations changed from the sharp, electric feel to something more like warm ripples of pleasure which grew to crashing waves. It was intense, and when he eased a finger inside her and began to move it around, curling up inside her she spread her legs further and moaned with pleasure as the warm waves intensified, causing her vision to blur and light to flash in her head. She cried out, thrashing under him and straining against the ropes around her wrists as the orgasm overtook her.
She was catching her breath when Severus moved up her body and bent to whisper in her ear, "See, much better when you relax, isn't it?" He nuzzled her neck for a moment before reaching up to untie her hands. "I hope I won't need to tie you again tonight," he said after her hands were free again.
Severus moved to the side of the bed and retrieved the two empty vials and placed them in the sheets within easier reach. Hermione found the prospect of potions vials in bed to be rather disturbing. "Um...what are those for?" she asked hesitantly.
"I'll be collecting the blood from your maidenhead," he explained, then raised an eyebrow, "and I'll let you get off with a warning this time for speaking to me without the proper address."
"Um...sorry...sir," Hermione stammered. Calling him 'sir' in bed seemed out of place, reminding her of being in class with him as her teacher, only now she was naked, and taking instruction of a totally different sort.
"That's better. You'll learn soon enough, and when you make mistakes, your punishments will serve as a reminder," he warned.
"Y-Yes, sir," Hermione answered. Her first sexual encounter thus far had been...strange. Enjoyable, yes...but still, strange.
"And now," he said, "I am willing to give you the opportunity for extra-credit on your test tomorrow."
"Extra credit, sir?" she asked.
"Yes. I will allow you to choose this. I can take your maidenhead gently and slowly, which will produce a minimal amount of bleeding," he said, stroking her thighs and stomach gently. "Or, I can take it quickly, which will produce more blood, but it will hurt more. Since maiden's blood is extremely rare, and nearly impossible to acquire, the latter choice would be preferable to me."
Hermione considered his statement. Her first sexual encounter had just gotten stranger. She was a bit worried about her test tomorrow, and extra credit would be nice...but at the same time, she had to wonder how much it would hurt to earn the extra credit. However, he was giving her a choice. "How many points are we talking about, sir?" she asked. A bit of clarification would be helpful.
"Ten points to start, but if I am able to fill both vials completely, I will grant twenty points." He continued stroking her thighs as she considered. His cock was aching to fill her, but self-control was important. Finally, she seemed ready to speak.
"I'll...um...I'll take the extra credit, sir," she said quietly. It wasn't just for the points. She knew the value of maidens' blood, and she knew some of the most powerful healing potions could be made with it. If he had it, then it would most likely end up being used for a good purpose. The pain would be more than worth the value if her blood went to help someone she knew.
"Good," he purred with a feral grin as he leaned forward and hooked both her knees over his forearms and positioned himself at her entrance which was well lubricated from his previous attention. "This will hurt, but if you breathe deeply it will help," he said and plunged into her.
Hermione cried out as he tore through her hymen, and felt the burning and the snap of tearing tissue as he filled her completely and continued to plunge into her. He stopped suddenly and withdrew as she shuddered with pain and tried to catch her breath. The control it had taken him to withdraw, when he wanted nothing more than to continue thrusting into her left him working to breathe normally as well.
"Get up on your knees," he ordered and reached out to grab a hand and assist her up. Once she was positioned, still wincing, he grabbed a vial and inserted it into her, not wanting to waste a single drop of the precious liquid. "Thank you, Hermione," he whispered softly to her and rubbed her back with circular movements to calm her. "I'll go gently with you once I've collected your blood."
Hermione leaned against his shoulder as she knelt with her knees spread. The vial had been cold, but was warm enough now. She felt a little dizzy when he removed it and she saw that it was filled with rich, red blood. He quickly inserted the second vial and continued to stroke her back. He hadn't expected her to take the second option, but he was glad she had. The second vial only filled up a third of the way before the bleeding slowed. He capped it and placed both in the rack and gently lowered her to her back again.
"That will be fifteen points in extra credit for you, wife," he purred as he repositioned himself at her entrance again.
When he entered her this time he went slowly. She winced at first as her bruised channel stretched, but the pain faded after a few moments and soon turned to pleasure. She reached up to grasp his shoulders as he moved within her, filling her. She relaxed, letting her head rest and running her hands over the muscles of his shoulders and chest, focusing on enjoying the moment. His skin was slick with fresh beading sweat as he moved over her, pumping within and filling her.
He supported his weight with one arm while he moved the other across her body, stroking her breasts and tweaking her nipples. Soon she felt an orgasm building again, the waves washing over her in time with his thrusting, pounding movement. She arched her hips up to meet his thrusts and his pubic bone ground against her clitoris, sending her over the edge.
When she opened her eyes he was watching her, one corner of his mouth curled up in triumph. "Oh we're just getting started," he purred as he thrust into her. It had been a long time, and so he had prepared for this evening with a fortifying potion. Otherwise, he was sure he would have come when he first broke through her maidenhead. She was so tight, even with the assistance of the potion he was struggling to maintain control of his body.
Wrap your legs around me," he murmured and she moved to comply. The change of angle nearly drove him over the edge, but he gritted his teeth and lowered himself to his elbows. Her breasts skimmed across his chest, heightening awareness for them both and he reached down to stroke her clit with his thumb. She began clenching around him again, tossing her head back as she gasped and moaned and it sent him over the edge, gripping the sheets in his fist and growling as he emptied within her.
He rolled off to the side, collapsing and enjoying the blissful tingling which coursed through his body. He felt like drifting off to sleep, but he had to store the maiden's blood first. After a few minutes he heaved himself out of bed and collected the rack.
"I will return in a moment, remain where you are," he directed Hermione before walking out the door and to his private lab. He didn't bother getting dressed since he could reach the entrance from his quarters.
Hermione waited, pondering her situation. It really hadn't been bad...far from it. Once the pain had passed, she had enjoyed herself immensely. However, being told what to do would take some getting used to. She wanted to get up and take a bath; the squishy feeling between her legs was uncomfortable; she felt sore as well, and wondered how long that would last. She fiddled with her ring and brought her hand up to take a closer look. It was surprising that he would choose the same stones. Perhaps they were well suited after all?
"Yes, I did find that to be an interesting coincidence," Severus said from the doorway when he returned and observed her examining the ring.
"Me too," she answered as she propped herself up on one elbow, resisting the urge to pull the sheets over her nude form.
"Come here, Hermione. I believe a bath is in order." He turned and entered the bathroom, opening the large taps to fill the tub. It didn't take long to fill, and soon Hermione was easing into the tub, feeling self conscious as Severus watched her. Once she was settled, he entered the tub as well, straddling her knees and resting his hands behind her shoulders. The tub was large, with plenty of room for both of them to spread out, but he chose to hover over her.
He pulled his hand back, with a bar of soap which had been in the tray at the edge of the tub. "Take it," he said and drew himself up, the water level coming to the tops of his thighs as he knelt in the water, apparently waiting for her. Hermione held the bar of soap, and looked to him questioningly. "I should think it would be obvious," was his only directive.
Yes, obvious. Hermione lathered the soap between her hands and reached out to him, rubbing the lather over his chest and shoulders as he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, relaxing under her touch. She had mixed feelings about things so far...worry at what his expectations after tonight would be, and if she would be able to meet his demands. His previous words ran through her head, his declarations that her body was his had been disconcerting. It seemed he thought of this as a business arrangement, his protection and her freedom to pursue her studies and career as she wished in exchange for her servitude.
It did seem a ruthless arrangement, but she didn't feel that she was imposing upon him as she might have with Ron, who was offering to sacrifice his own hopes and future happiness to ensure her safety. No, she had something to give back in this arrangement. In a way, it reminded her of TANSTAAFL...the phrase from one of her favorite books. The author was a strange sort of philosopher of human interaction, and had coined the acronym for 'There ain't no such thing as a free lunch'...it was a true statement, whatever you gained in life had to be paid for in one way or another, even things which were supposedly 'free' had a price. And in this case, she realized she was one step ahead of where she could be, as she already knew what that price was.
After his chest, shoulders and arms had been washed, she moved lower, over the flat plane of his stomach and down to the thatch of hair at his groin. She hesitated before reaching his half-erect cock, pausing as she noticed her blood still smeared across it. Rather than wait, he reached out and grabbed her hand, guiding her fingers to wrap around him and stroke up and down. He used his other hand to pull his foreskin back and guided her to wash his exposed glans. She took the silent commands of his hands, learning how to touch and stroke him, watching his face occasionally to see the responses she caused.
When he took the soap from her hand and washed her, she thought he seemed almost gentle...but there was something else about his touch kept her thinking, she couldn't quite place it. She decided to focus instead on enjoying the feel of his slippery hands working over her body, reminding herself that she needed to get over her shyness.
After they had toweled dry she started to leave the bedroom to get her comfortable flannel nightgown.
"Where are you going?" he asked as he slipped between the sheets.
"To get my nightgown, sir," she answered.
"No, you will sleep nude," he declared and pulled the sheets up to his chest.
Hermione stopped in the doorway, closing her eyes and wondering what to say. She had never slept nude before. However, she turned back to the bed, walking around to the far side and got between the sheets, all the while wondering if she could come up with a convincing reason she needed her nightgown. As she settled down to sleep on her side, the realization of how silly it seemed that she had to think about reasons to wear a nightgown, to justify being clothed in his presence struck her. Why should he be so bossy about such a minor issue? And really, it was a minor issue, at least as far as she thought.
As she mulled these thoughts over, Severus moved his hand up to rest on her hip, gripping slightly before relaxing and she realized what it was about his touch she hadn't been able to place before. Possession. His touch was decidedly possessive, claiming her as his with nearly every movement and gesture. And this was the man she had married, the man she was bound to for life.
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Latest 25 Reviews for You Can't Have One Without The Other
254 Reviews | 5.03/10 Average
I have loved this fic, but I didn't like Ashwinder version 's ending, that ending was so unfair to Severus and it ruined whole story for me, but now I'm glad I found this version, I'm loving this ending, though it's not right or perfect but I can't see my Severus heart broken again and I absolutely love a morally grey and dark Severus ..... Overall the story was amazing, so well written and Smut was mind-blowing, I wish we could have more smut when Hermione returned to Severus in ending and some more story in detail,may be a whole chapter on how she went back to Severus, from Uni to moving into an apartment,their holiday, how she distant herself from her friends, how Severus keeps on giving her potion and how is there se* life now, does Severus still prefer dom-sub kind of stuff, does she enjoy that - I wish we could have all of this in detail in a whole new chapter...... Thank you for this wonderful story and this "Happy for Severus" ending 👍🏻😍
I love how you have them both sticking it out, yet hurting themselves in the process. Most stories have them revolve their problems quickly or just have a brief paragraph saying some time has passed. Great job!
This has been an amazing story. It's everything I want in this type. Snape is a rude, disagreeable person, yet he does care about Hermione in his own way. They are easing into his sexual preference without the typical 'and then she suddenly discovers how much it turns her on.' Even after she allows herself to give in, she isn't totally his slave. And there is some other parts of the story that arent completly revolving around their relationahip. (There could be just a bit more of that) Thankyou! This is such a wonderful story!
I guess this story must have been written before we learned that Snape was a half-blood. Oh, well. I'll just think of it as AU, I guess. :-)
Good lord. So you've made it so that he really IS an abusive and controlling asshole. I'm sorry that's what you wanted to do with this story; I'm afraid I prefer happy endings in fan fiction.
Well, THAT'S a twist I didn't see coming! Very clever trick, to keep Lucius waiting in the wings like that, after we'd all written him off as disabled. :-)
I'm a Heinlein fan, too! Stranger in a Strange Land changed my life when I read it at the age of 12, so none of his other books could ever mean to me what that one did. Still, I read and re-read The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, Time Enough for Love, I Will Fear No Evil, and many others. Thanks for working Heinlein into this story; it's fun to see the references to his books.
Heh. Love the dream at the end.
I'm astonished that Severus would be willing to spend THREE WEEKS with Hermione's parents. One week seems like plenty to me! So I'd say he's bent over backwards to be nice ... and I'm usually on Hermione's side. :-)
Lovely ending.
The ending of this made me a bit sad, but I didn't find it 100% OOC for Severus as some other reviews have stated. Love the story - very well written. Thank you so much for sharing. :)
I liked it :) but I think the ending should have been drawn out just a little more. Because drugging someone isn't really love,or at least not in my opinion. I think it would have been better if she didn't get the potion like in the alternate ending, but they still went on the dates and got to know each other. Hermione really cared for him and it would have turned to love. But it was good overal. The other ending made me cry to be honest. It just seemed like such an un hermione thing to do...but keep writing your good :)
No, no, no, anything apart from Malfoy. LOL enjoying your contract fic very much. Like the road you are taking, uncomfortable for HG but has the bat got a sense of humour after all? We shall see as they say. Off to read some more.
Thanks.
The picture of control, honesty and choice,you paint,
is very telling. This started a lot of deep thoughts. - not least in your personal replies to people's passionate letters to you.
Please do keep writing you have a Real talent.
But you did break my heart with both your endings: that two highly intelligent people couldn't let themselves find joy and freedom with each other. together with common sense, and self- awareness, tempered with humour.
Good luck in your new life, and admiration for the bravery and strength, it must have taken to build a new life.
For now I am speechless.
On some times I thought, Goodness ist there anything other than spanking, whipping and fucking all around? This should not mean I didn´t enjoy it in some ways, and after thinking about this I had come to the Decision that your descriptions showed a lot about the live Severus and Hermione had and in which ways they tried to come together.
(I believe I should not write reviews, when I´m tired)
But your end of your Fanfiction was startling. I didn´t expect a lovely happy Couple, whom lived happily together after discussing their Problems. I expected rahter a Couple that had many Problems to deal with each other, but which were also trying.
Your take of an End, was highly surprising and unexpected, but I like it. :)
Best wishes
Dawndancer
I've just read your story and was very impressed that I was so invested in the plot. A sign of a great author is to make the characters very real to the reader. This you accomplised beautifully. However the ending was heartbreakingly dissappointing. I am not averse to un-happy endings when called for but this ending didn't ring true for me.
LOL Loved when Severus' rooms became a bit too overcrowded for his style :)
Haha, well played Albus with the "honeymoon" surprise LOL
Wow, seemed like Lucius to not give up easily..
great chapter, im looking forward to reading the rest of the fic :)
LMAO
That ending was such an anti climax.
what happened? did you get bored writing the story?
On another level the ending is humerous in its absurdity...
I thought that Snape loved her? He resorted to mind control in the end.
hhmmmm
comment?
xoxo
i thoroughly enjoyed you dissecting the power dynamic of the relationship though.
Thanks for you time and imagination
up to chapter 29 it was excellent. some minor quibbles but generally a delight to read - absolutely lapping it up! You have an amazing talent for storytelling. From 29 on however the characters seemed to fall to pieces and IMO no longer conformed with the profiles you had constructed for them thusfar - it became actually infuriating to read - and then the ending was of course just obscene. Rushed and incredibly disturbing (which is a feat considering some of the other quite prickly ideas in the story that went down smoothly) - and worst of all feeling like something tacked on at the last minute or as an afterthought. Perhaps you had grown sick of your own creations by then. It was very disappointing to have laboured with these characters for so long.. to have it all end in a manner neither satisfying nor plausible (and either of the two would have been sufficient really). It was a great story - but a rotten ending.
I've been reading this story since you first started posting it on Ashwinder, and have only now actually put fingers to keyboard to review it.
I loved the way this story was written. Excellent descriptive scenes, lots of Snarky!Snape and an interesting plot. However, the ending is too rushed and extremely disappointing. I've read both endings and feel the same way about both. Whilst the ending on Ashwinder is a more probable ending, I couldn't help but feel that it needed fleshing out a bit more, not to mention the blatant out-of-characterness of both Snape and Hermione. You did so well to keep them both in character throughout the majority of the story, only to have them change in the last couple of chapters. I'll be honest - I hated TPP ending. Not plausible at all, and also very OOC.
It's very obvious that you were getting bored of this story and wanted it finished as soon as possible for the sake for your readers. One thing I learned from writing fan fiction is that if you write purely for the sake of reviews, then your story is doomed from the start. If you ever consider re-writing any part of this, please re-do the ending chapters and preferably using the Ashwinder ending as that was the better of the two.
I have now read both endings, and I find that I disagree with you and most of your reviewers who would claim that either one was a good ending for this story. Now I don't intend this to be a flame, so please just hear me out.Certainly I, like most people, would have liked to see Hermione and Severus end up together (voluntarily) for the simple romantic appeal. But my dislike for these two endings goes beyond that.So you chose to end this story either with them splitting up or together because Severus was controlling Hermione. Great, fine, whatever - brave of you to do something outside of the normal SS/HG stories. However, I do not see the image that most of your reviewers seem to see - an author who sacrificed the popular ending for the more in-character or better-suited ending. No, what I see is an author who was consciously seeking to break the mold of happily-ever-after stories, to do something dramatic and unexpected simply because it was dramatic and unexpected. An author seeking to set up a story that intentionally seemed to follow a normal SS/HG plotline, just so that she could say, "Haha, fooled you!" at the end.Now, I certainly don't mean to suggest that doing the unexpected is a bad thing - unexpected twists and turns are what make these stories worth reading even though there are common plotlines that run through many of them. But when an author sacrifices story flow, plausibility and character for mere shock value, it falls a little flat.And yes, before you protest, I think that you did sacrifice plausibility and character. You clearly sold the ending to your audience using the Severus-is-a-control-freak ploy. But I think that it is just that - a ploy. And I think that a lot of your readers fell for it. But you can't write 30 chapters of great story (don't get me wrong, I liked the story a lot), filled with good plot and character development, and then follow this up with a chapter in which your characters have apparently regressed essentially to the way they were at the very beginning. Well, I guess you can - you're the author - but I just don't buy it. The Severus that appeared in chapter 29 was not the same Severus that featured in chapter 31 - or even chapter 30. Severus 29 realized that he loved Hermione and was beginning to regret his control-freakishness. I do not find it remotely feasible that this Severus can be the same as Severus 31 who would go right back to controlling tactics without any apparent hesitation.But what, you ask, do I expect Severus to do when just as he realizes he loves Hermione, she abandons him without a backwards glance? As it turns out, I find Hermione's characterization in the last couple of chapters equally problematic. In fact, I think that Hermione 30/31 is perhaps more out-of-character than Severus 31. Yes, I can accept that having undergone so much and suddenly having the opportunity to really have a choice for the first time, she might have some second thoughts, might want to take a break to really have some time on her own, apart from Severus, to really analyze the situation. But I do not find it remotely plausible that she would ditch Severus completely and go off to a University without resolving their issues. For one thing, Hermione Granger is not the kind of person who would go off, leave unsolved problems behind, and then make a decision on these problems once she is far removed from the situation. That is, as they call it, the coward's way out, and Hermione is nothing if not honorable and Gryffindorish.And once again, after 30 chapters in which she undergoes a great deal of character development and comes to at least like Severus (even if you don't want her to fall in love with him), I do not find it remotely plausible that she would choose to abandon him and sever all ties with him without any discussion or conversation with him whatsoever. I don't really find it likely that she would leave him at all, but even if she were going to, I do not believe for one second that she would do so without talking to him and hearing him out - after all, isn't that what she kept demanding of him throughout the story? That he not make decisions and take stances uncompromisingly, without acknowledging her perspective? So what kind of a hypocrite would she be if she really would do what you have her doing?So while you may or may not agree with me, I do think that your characters in the last chapter or two are drastically different from the people that you had shaped by the end of chapter 29. Both the control-freak Severus and the I-need-time-to-think Hermione seem to me to be very thinly veiled rationalizations for you as the author doing what you wanted to do with the story, even when it didn't really fit. And I think that is possibly the worst mistake an author can make - trying to force a story to do what she wants it to, or what she imagines it ought to do, when the story wants to go somewhere different. As I said earlier, I have no problems with an author who goes into a story with the desire to write something unexpected. Something different. Something unique. I as a writer have shared that desire many times. But I think that in your attempts to mislead us readers, to make us think that this was just like all the other SS/HG stories, you ended up writing a story that was like the other SS/HG stories. But then you still tried to make it fit your idea of what you had intended to write, and frankly, I think it shows.Now, you may not really appreciate this after all of the rest of what I just said, or you may not think me entirely sincere, but I want to make it quite clear that I definitely thought that this was a very good story - which is probably why I felt inclined to leave such a lengthy, passionate review (if I didn't like it, I wouldn't have bothered, and if I didn't like the rest of it, I wouldn't have felt so strongly about the ending). So just for the record, I thought that it was well-written, and that - as I may have hinted earlier - there was very good character development through most of it. Other than the ending, your characters were engaging, believable, consistent...which, as I said, is why the ending is so jarring and dissatisfying. Because it's so not in keeping with the rest.You probably don't agree with me, and even if you did I don't imagine that you would bother to change the ending, but it seemed that most of your readers were inclined to just accept your flimsy surface justifications for Hermione's and Severus's actions, even though these justifications were not supported by the rest of your depictions of their characters. So I felt obligated to present my perceptions, even if they goes against the majority opinion. Take it or leave it, but there it is. And thank you for the story.
Response from RachelW (Author of You Can't Have One Without The Other)
Wow, what a long review. Hmm... and it's been a while too, though I was curious what might be going on with the fanfic and thought I'd check on it.What happened the last few chapters was that I just could not write what I'd started out intending to write. When I began this story in 2004 (wow), I was working hard to make myself believe i was happy being stuck in a miserable marriage to a manipulative person who spent a lot of thought and energy keeping me from directing my energy and talents into the real world. I had few friends, and every time I began developing a friendship with anyone who was functional and somewhat available, he made sure it didn't last long. By 2008 when I finished this story I was going to school full time and working part time at a local gym, and my carefully cultivated illusion that I was happy had been completely shattered. Along with that, all my carefully concocted ideals about a promise being everything, about anything being workable, about enough love/being good enough/something else could change a person, or make a manipulator become something else.What happened at chapters 30/31 was a major shift in my understanding of the world and of people, and my best attempt to wrap up a story so I could move on with my life (I like finishing things, you see). I just could not write what I had intended when I was writing chapter 24 or therabouts... it just wouldn't happen. Dec 2008 I moved out on my own, no idea how I was going to make it. My ex has made every effort to cause me problems, and is still dragging the legal end of things on because he has to punish me for leaving him. I've had some interesting challenges, I've become self employed, I've found happiness in a great comunity where my ex can't keep me from having supportive, functional friends through manipulations like he did when I was with him, trapped mainly by my belief (which he encouraged strongly) that I was incapable of making it alone. He would use 'martial arts sparring' as a cover to 'accidentally' twist my forearms/wrists and exaserbate my tendonitis which kept me from working as a massage therapist for years.Tomorrow I'm having a ribbon-cutting cerimony with the local Chamber of Commerce to celebrate the opening of my office. I've supplemented massage income with housecleaning, freelance copy-editing (thanks to my beta-reading experience), and other odd jobs. In retrospect I've realized writing this story was a major part of coming to grips with the reality of what my marriage was, even when I didn't know that's what I was writing about. The BDSM was just the fun stuff to make the story interesting, but deep down it was about my attempt to justify to myself that I had made a terrible choice to be with someone because I believed I was incapable of being alone, and felt trapped by having a child with him. I desperately wanted to "make it right" and this story was my attempt to make something wrong right by making Hermione just be good enough to fix Snape. Manipulators, alas, don't change... and the flow of the story stopped when I tried to make wrong things be right.If anyone is interested in what I'm doing now: http://reliefbyrachel.com
While I thought the story started out pretty well, the middle got a little angsty for my taste, but I stuck it out, only to be disappointed in the end. Hermoine, in a potion-induced state of bliss. While I wouldn't put it past Snape, it's just a terrible way to end the story. I can think of a number of different endings, though, honestly, I can't think of any way to tie them to the established story.
Whoa ! I came from reading the other ending on Ashwinder and fair play to you, this is in keeping with the selfish controlling rotten Snape that she married. I was buying the potential happy ending (he's changed !) right up to the point where she drops out of college. The last bit about giving her the potion every 6-9 months is crushing - but thats how vile he is. To control her is everything.