Collisions

Thanks to my beta readers, Nakhash and Cythonia.

Due to many reasons, which I'll not go into, this chapter is very late, though it was complete about three months ago. I make no promises on future update times, though I will finish this monstrosity.

---

She really had wanted him to find her. So why did she now feel as if something dreadful were about to happen? Her best friend was now lying unconscious because of her husband.

Deciding to start with Malfoy she said, "He really wasn't going to hurt me, Severus. He's the one... the murderer. He's also... Draco, he killed Draco. He told me after he took me. But he wasn't going to hurt me."

"Draco?" Snape whispered, his eyes jolting wide. "Why?"

"Draco found out what he'd been doing. He's trying to help... in his own way, I suppose. He feels sorry for what he's done, and messed up in trying to make up for it. He... well, apparently kept memories in store before. Draco reacquainted him with his former memories. From there, it seems he decided to take a completely different path." Hermione turned her attention again.

"Let's at least get Harry more comfortable... wake him up."

"No, I've been wanting to do that to him since several days ago, when I discovered something in his mind..." Snape said with an icy edge to his voice.

"And why were you looking in his mind?" Hermione asked, a bit too angrily.

"I was trying to discover if there might be another clue to find you before something truly hideous happened to you! Imagine my surprise when instead I saw Potter's all too real sexual escapade with you!" He took a breath, closing his eyes a moment. "That, we will discuss later."

"Severus... I... I'm sorry, I just..." Hermione stammered.

"Don't make excuses now. We have other things to deal with."

"Yes, of course, fine," she said tightly. Hermione turned and stared at Malfoy for a moment. His nostrils flared slightly, the only sign he wasn't actually a statue.

"I want to help Lucius," Hermione said. "He's been trying to help. That's the only reason he took me, why he killed those people. Not really the best methods, of course... but I really do think he's good deep down now." Then she turned to Harry again, knelt beside him, checked his breathing and pulse. He seemed fine, other than being Stupefied, that is.

"I can imagine what must be in that Pensieve," said Severus, walking over to Lucius. He pointed his wand and muttered a few words. Ropes slithered out of his wand and bound his former friend tightly, then he removed the full-body-bind.

Lucius, twisting to a sitting position, said, "You can't keep her now, Snape. I've shown her what you are, what you've done to helpless victims. She has the power now to leave you."

Severus scowled, then turned to the Pensieve. Kneeling before it, he fell into the image and took a look at where he found himself. After several moments, he pulled away.

"This is what was supposed to convince Hermione?" he scoffed. "I suppose you never would have kept the memories beyond the exciting parts, now, would you? You've always been an imbecile, Lucius. Some things never change" Severus put his wand to his temple and ran it over his skull, pulling away a silvery thread and putting it into the Pensieve. "Look at this, Hermione," he said.

Hermione knelt warily at the Pensieve, took a deep breath, and dove into it, immersing herself into Severus's memory. She recognised the scene... she'd seen it only days before and hadn't wanted to keep watching.

"It appears to be quite cruel," said Severus behind her. "I suppose this is one of the first things he showed you?" Hermione took in a shaky breath; the sound of the woman's hoarse screams were awful.

"Don't look away," Severus said firmly. "Watch what happens now."

Hermione turned back to the scene: the black-haired woman was now suspended fully, rods piercing her body, her back, legs, arms – even the nape of her neck – and she was hung from the ceiling, spinning slowly on the ropes. Blood dripped from numerous lash-marks.

The memory-Lucius, naked now and with smears of blood over his body. He laughed, grabbed the woman by the hair and twisted her head around, giving her a push as he did so and sending her spinning again. Lucius turned away with a satisfied grin. "I believe I'll have a bath now," he said. "Dobby!"

The familiar house-elf appeared, looking about the dungeon in terror. "Y-yes, master?"

"Prepare my bath." Dobby disappeared with a pop. Lucius turned to Severus, who was also naked, but using a cleaning spell to wash away the blood and other fluids on his body. "I suppose you'll take care of her now?"

"Yes. I don't think she'd appreciate too many scars, would you, Bella?"

The woman laughed weakly, giving a sighing moan. Severus pulled his wand from his robes after he'd donned them, and pointed it at Bellatrix Lestrange, casting Wingardium Leviosa to make her float, causing the ropes to slacken. Hermione watched, in fascination now, as Severus began to unfasten the ropes from the rods, and then to carefully remove each rod, muttering healing charms as he went. After a short time, he levitated a cushion under Bellatrix, and lowered her carefully. Lucius had already left the room.

Severus proceeded to heal each gash and cut on her back, then prodded her to turn over. The woman was beautiful; her face smooth, thin but not haggard. She wore an expression of tired satisfaction on her beautiful face, a grin pulling up the corners of her full mouth.

"Severus, you're so amazingly creative," she said. "That was... ahh..." she sighed, closing her eyes in apparent bliss as Severus continued healing her, now working up her legs, over her belly, towards her ravaged and abused breasts.

"I thought for a moment it had gone too far for you," Severus murmured.

"You should know better than that," Bella said, then gave another tired laugh.

The dungeon faded to white, and Hermione found herself again kneeling at the Pensieve, looking across it at Severus. "I would imagine that certain details were lacking in what other things he might have shown you. I suppose it appeared that this was some kind of rape... torture of an innocent?"

Hermione only nodded as she began to sort through the things she'd seen. So it had been Bellatrix Lestrange, and apparently, given what she'd seen, something desired by all parties. There had been other women in some scenes, but the scene had never extended beyond the 'exciting' parts. Lucius's memories were incomplete; whether that was all he had kept of the memories or because he'd edited them purposely after seeing them again, she'd been shown an incomplete picture.

"Don't believe him, Hermione. Hasn't he done enough to you? Haven't you had enough? Please, I don't care what happens to me anymore as long as what I've done for you has been worth it..." He was cut off, still trying to speak, but no sound came from his mouth. Severus had silenced him.

Hermione frowned at Severus, wondering why he wouldn't want Lucius to speak. If he was only a raving, misinformed lunatic, what did it matter what he said? Severus stood and turned to Harry.

"Let me talk to him, Severus. I'll try to explain."

"You don't need to explain anything to him," said Snape bitterly, fury clouding his features. He glared at Hermione for a moment, then turned back to the unconscious figure. It had been a more powerful Stupefy than he'd really meant to cast. "Just like his father, interfering where he has no business, trying to take everything good from me ..." His murmur was nearly inaudible.

"Let's finish this business here, then we can go home. I'll contact Dumbledore; Magical Law Enforcement can handle Malfoy from here. No, Potter can contact Dumbledore..." he murmured. He woke Harry with a flick of his wand.

Disoriented, Harry knuckled his eyes and sat up, then pulled himself together. His wand wasn't far away and he lunged for it, but Snape interrupted him before he could take it.

"Go back and retrieve Magical Law Enforcement and have them take Malfoy into custody; I will take Hermione home."

Harry glanced towards Malfoy and said, "No, you won't. I don't care what either of you say about all that, I want answers now."

"Obliviate!" Snape whispered.

"Severus, NO!" Hermione yelled, but she was too late. She watched in horror as Snape advanced on a seemingly frozen Harry, his shoulders set, whirling his wand deftly. In a few moments, Harry's eyes refocused.

"What... what happened?" he asked, dazed, as he looked around the room.

"Malfoy hit you with a Stupefy, Potter. You let your guard down." Harry gave Snape a sharp glare. "At any rate, you seem unharmed. Go to the Ministry, and return with a team. We will wait here until you return, but I believe that after all this Hermione should go home.

"You're okay, Hermione?" Harry asked, seeing Hermione there. "What's the matter?"

"I... I'm fine," she stammered. What had Severus done? How much had he erased?

"Good." Harry nodded. "Good. Accio Portkey," he cast. The battered soda can flew to his hand. "I'll be back soon," he said, and cast another charm. A glowing spot appeared on the floor, then Harry muttered a word and disappeared.

"What did you do to him?" Hermione demanded, her voice shaking.

"I've made it easier for us. He needed no explanations, it's better he doesn't remember what he saw; it will only complicate matters for us."

"You Oblivated Harry! What right do you have..."

"I have every right to do what I must! I've done everything possible this past week to find you, to save you. Now there is still something I must do," he said, turning to Lucius. "Legilimens," he whispered. Lucius was caught completely unprepared, and sat frozen as Snape hovered over him like a vulture. Hermione realised he must be searching, trying to find the memories to erase.

"Stop!" she screamed, leaping forward and pushing him. "Why are you so determined to hide everything? So what if he tells anyone?" Reasonably, Hermione knew that Lucius's testimony might spark some interest in what had gone on between herself and Severus, but at the moment, she was more horrified with Severus. "If there's nothing wrong, what are you hiding from?"

Severus looked at her in disbelief. "And I suppose you'd like the details of our private life spread over The Quibbler, The Daily Prophet, even? I'm sure they'd love to see you back in the spotlight, now with even more interesting gossip than what was printed about you before. How would you like that?"

"You didn't have the right to do that to Harry, no matter what!"

"We will discuss this at home."

"NO!" Hermione shook her head, stepping back. This was all wrong... so very, very wrong. She should have been glad of the thought of going home, but after this... he'd crossed the line.

"What?"

"That was wrong, what you did to Harry. All because of the inconvenience it could cause you. Just like how you Confounded our Muggle landlords to get the house, how you... you've always done this, done whatever you 'had to do' to cover your own tracks, to get your own way. Maybe Lucius is right. I've taken enough... maybe not in the way he means, but in allowing you to get me to go along with things I knew were wrong. I won't anymore."

She glanced towards Lucius, who was now smiling proudly at her. He mouthed, "Good."

"Hermione," Severus began carefully, "let's talk about this at home. I'm sorry this has been difficult for you, but you must understand that I'm doing this for us. I... I can accept that there are some things I've done that haven't been... wise," he admitted hesitantly. "But I do care for you."

*****

Harry appeared in the Atrium of the Ministry of Magic, and saw a group of Aurors standing together by the water fountain. "Hey!" he shouted at them. He rushed towards them, glad to see Shacklebolt, determined now to make sure he did what needed to be done. He'd had to leave Hermione with Snape, had to pretend that the Obliviate had worked. Harry had used Occlumency in such a subtle way that even Snape, a master Legilimens and Occlumens, had believed he'd been successful in selectively erasing Harry's memories of what he'd seen in the Pensieve, and of what he'd shared with Hermione.

He'd come to while Severus and Hermione were bent over the Pensieve. Malfoy had seen him, but Harry had raised a finger to his lips, nodded to Malfoy, and then lain down again, feigning unconsciousness while he called up everything he'd ever learned about Occlumency. Even Trelawney would have been proud of his almost psychic sense of what would happen next, even if it was just for a moment in his lifetime.

Snape would pay dearly for what he'd done to Hermione. And Hermione... he should have known something was seriously wrong. How could she stand there and say that it wasn't what it looked like, that it wasn't what it seemed... she'd confirmed his worst fears with those words. Fighting back tears of rage and sympathy for Hermione, he began.

"We've found the killer. It was Lucius Malfoy. He's been captured, and is in America. I've left a marker for a Portkey; we need to hurry. Hermione is fine for the moment, but..." he glanced around at the junior Aurors... "Kingsley, a word alone, please." Kingsley Shacklebolt nodded and stepped aside with Harry, who quickly cast a Privacy Charm. "We have to take Snape, too," he whispered urgently. "He tried to Obliviate me, and believes he succeeded."

"What?" Shacklebolt appeared, understandably, shocked.

"He's been abusing Hermione – the whole situation – Lucius Malfoy was actually trying to help her, you see. He's killed all those people, but for once I think I understand what he was trying to do. Snape... he's a... a sadist...sexually. He's been hurting Hermione... I saw in a Pensieve the kinds of things he's done to someone else, just horrid stuff. We'll have to take him by surprise, wait until we're done with Malfoy; he shouldn't suspect we're after him, he thinks he's Obliviated the memories I had, tried to be selective, but I was prepared this time for him."

"Are you sure about this, Harry?" Kingsley asked gravely.

Harry's green eyes flashed as he answered, "More sure than I've ever been of anything."

*****

He cared for her. Hermione blinked at him. It was almost unbelievable that at this moment he would say something to her in a way she'd wished she could have heard from him for so long. He meant it too, she was sure of that.

Did that change anything though? Did that take away what he'd done to Harry, what he was still planning to do to Lucius?

"Hermione... this past week, with you gone, it's shown me what you truly mean to me. I may not have done things as I should have with you, but... I... do want you to be happy." His voice broke as he whispered the last. "Please, come home with me now," he implored softly, reaching a hand out for her to take.

Hermione stared down at his waiting hand, then back into his eyes, which glistened slightly. He looked haggard and tired – she believed he'd been doing everything possible to find her, she believed that he loved her.

With a sinking feeling, she turned away from him. "I... need time, Severus. Just some time to think, at least," she managed to say. Right now she felt she couldn't make any sort of decision at all, such was the whirl of emotions coursing through her.

She realised Lucius was smiling at her, tears leaking down his cheeks. She didn't want him to see this, either. "I need my wand. Severus, please remove the silencing charm from him so he can tell me where it is," she said, her voice hollow.

"Hermione... very well," he agreed, his voice hardening again as he locked away any show of emotion. When Hermione turned to look at him, he seemed as cold and stiff as she'd ever seen him.

"You'll find your wand in the chest over there," Malfoy said, nodding towards the wooden chest. "There's a hidden compartment near the bottom on the left side panel when you open it; touch it and say 'freedom', and it will open for you."

Wordlessly, Hermione followed the instructions, and soon had her wand back in her hand. As she stood, the sound of popping and rushing wind filled the room, and Harry, along with Kingsley Shacklebolt and several other Aurors, appeared, all quickly levelling their wands at Lucius.

"Wait!" Hermione said. "He's safe."

"Tell that to all the people he's killed," Shacklebolt said. "He'll stand trial now."

"What I've done, I've done because it had to be done," Malfoy said stoically. "I've done this for Stephanie, who first befriended me, and who was murdered, and for all the other victims of the evil laws that I helped to enact before I was reborn."

Hermione thought she heard one of the Aurors mutter something that sounded like 'nutter'.

"He claims he killed Draco Malfoy," Snape said. "Someone should go to Malfoy Manor and search it."

"Rogers, you take care of that," Shacklebolt said to one of the two Aurors who were advancing on Malfoy. They nodded their acknowledgement, placed a Portkey in Malfoy's hand, and disappeared. Harry and Kingsley shared a look, then Kingsley turned to Hermione.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"I... yes, I think I am. I just want to go home now. Could I rest for a while before... whatever it is that needs doing?"

"Go home, Hermione. I'll meet you there," Severus said.

"Home, yes, of course."

"Hermione, I made you a Portkey. It'll take you to the Ministry, you can Apparate safely from there."

"I'm going home," Hermione murmured, seemingly lost in thought as she took the Portkey and then disappeared.

"And now, Harry, we're about done here?" Kingsley asked.

"Nearly so," Harry said, meeting Kingsley's eyes. Together, they turned and cast Stupefy at Snape, who fell to the ground. He'd had no time to defend himself.

"The Pensieve we'll need to take as evidence, too," Harry said. "And all this." He flicked his wand at the Pensieve and the chest, which he saw was filled with bottles of memories. Kingsley had bound Snape with magical ropes.

"I've really gone out on a limb for this, Harry."

"With all this, I'm sure we can get him locked away. Now, let's get him back to the Ministry. I need to go talk to Hermione."

Snape remained unconscious for the Portkey ride back to the Ministry holding cell. When Harry and Kingsley exited the cell, they met Dumbledore.

"What is the meaning of this?" he asked, looking with concern at the bound and unconscious Snape.

"What you need to know is in here," said Harry, placing the chest and Pensieve on a nearby table. "He's going to pay for what he's done to Hermione."

"What could do you mean?" Dumbledore asked. Harry ignored him, turning and running from the room, eager to reach the anti-Apparition wards and get to Hermione. Once in the Atrium, he Disapparated, then Apparated with a loud crack outside Snape and Hermione's house. The door was locked, but he unwarded it quickly, and went inside.

"Hermione? Where are you?" he called. There was no answer. A search of the house confirmed she wasn't home.

*****

Walking through the house brought back so many memories. There, in the corner, where her parents had read to her when she was a young child sitting on a lap in the squashy armchair. There, the staircase, where she'd first demonstrated early, barely controlled magic at the age of three after tripping and falling down the stairs. Her parents hadn't seen it happen, and had thought her tale of magically appearing at the bottom of the staircase instead of falling had been a clever story. As she walked up the stairs and into her bedroom, she recalled the last time she'd been there. Severus had slept there, where her bed had been. The bed that was now in their bedroom at what should be her home.

Home.

She'd Apparated there at first, but had only stayed a moment. It was too much. This time, she'd Apparated to what felt more like 'home'. A place to come to, to retreat to and think. Her parents would be surprised to find her when they came home from work, and she wondered if anyone had bothered to tell them what had happened to her, that she'd been kidnapped.

Probably not. There were so many things her parents hadn't been told. They were, after all, Muggles. Like the Muggles Severus had had no problem Confounding to get his way. She'd done it to them herself, but right now trying to do any sort of coming clean about everything would be too much to handle. Ignorance was bliss for a reason – the Muggles would have been in more danger from panic if they'd known about Voldemort.

Here at home though, Hermione felt like she'd removed herself from her life, or the life she'd been living. Was it really her life anymore? When was the last time she'd made her own decisions? She sunk to the floor of her childhood bedroom, staring at the indentions still in the carpet from her bed frame. She wasn't at all the person she'd dreamed of being when she was younger. Hermione just hoped it wasn't too late to change that.

*****

Snape came to slowly, painfully. He was uncomfortable, laying on a hard surface, bound. Had Malfoy somehow got away? Opening his eyes slowly, he looked around and saw the water-stained ceiling and bars of a cell, and then, through the bars, saw Dumbledore leaning over a stone basin. The Pensieve.

A gnawing in his stomach began. Something was dreadfully wrong. He watched as Dumbledore rose straight, sighed deeply, then turned to look at him. "Severus, I trusted you," the man whispered sadly. "Please, please tell me that it's not true, that what Lucius Malfoy is saying isn't true."

So he knew, then. "It's not true," Severus said. Somehow, he felt a twinge of guilt. "Not quite true... not in the way he's saying it," he amended, feeling his lips were moving against his will and better judgement.

"So, this is what you've done while I trusted you to keep Hermione safe?"

"Albus, I don't think you can begin to understand the complex..."

"Silence!" Though his voice was not loud, it seemed to reverberate through every cell of Severus's being. "I believed you to be the best choice for Hermione. I believed that even if you didn't seem the most romantically minded sort, you would keep her safe, allow her more of a life than she would have otherwise. I will reserve final judgement until I've spoken with Hermione about this, but I am ... very disappointed." With that, Albus Dumbledore turned and walked from the room, leaving Severus alone in his cold hard cell.

Severus closed his eyes. Dumbledore had to believe him. He wouldn't do anything to hurt Hermione; he loved her. Maybe he'd only realised that recently, but he did, and he had cared for her, had protected her, and compromised with her.

He admired her too – she was almost everything he could have wanted in a wife, without even realising it. Submissive, but only to a point. Willing to please, even if it was with compromise and assurances. He would have never thought it could have been so wonderful before. He'd hoped only for contentment, but had found much more. Now, he wanted more than that, he wanted her to be not only content, but happy.

He groaned as he thought back to shortly after they married, something he'd said to her that, at the time, hadn't seemed so terrible.

"You see Hermione," he said, his voice lowering to a whisper as he bent down to graze his lips across her ear, "your pain is my pleasure."

He remembered wanting to put her in her place, to make clear the boundary between them. She'd come into the shower with him of her own accord, and he had punished her for trying to initiate something closer between them. How could she have interpreted that? Especially at that moment? She must have been terrified of him, even if he had admired her bravery in facing more and more challenging scenarios. He didn't want her to fear him from a distance, at least now he didn't want that. He wanted her near him, for them to face a life together side by side, working towards common goals.

"Gods, what have I done?" he whispered.

*****

Harry jumped in surprise at the soft pop, and spun around to see Dumbledore. Harry had been pacing back and forth in the soggy front garden of the stone house, trying to think where Hermione might have gone.

"Professor, she's not here. I'm not sure where she is."

"Did she say where she was going?"

"Home... she said she was going home."

"I see. I believe I know where she might be, Harry."

"Where?"

"I will go speak with her. You're upset now, understandably. I think Hermione needs a cooler head at the moment. Go home, Harry. I will let you know how she is later on." With that, Dumbledore Disapparated.

*****

Hermione jumped, disturbed from her thoughts by a knock on the front door. She stood, then decided to go see who it was. Maybe her parents had a delivery that would need to be signed for? Downstairs, she opened the door.

"Professor Dumbledore," she said. She shouldn't have been so surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?"

"Hermione, may I come in?" Something about his gentle tone and appraising eyes made her stomach lurch.

"Um... okay. Could I get you some tea?"

"No, no, that's fine," he said as he entered. Hermione led him to the living room where she sat across from him awkwardly.

"I got your message from Fawkes the other day – I couldn't send anything back, though. I was okay, really. Just..." she sighed, "it's been a long week."

"Yes, I imagine so," Dumbledore agreed. He pursed his lips. "Hermione, despite Lucius's seemingly delusional state, he's made some... accusations. I would like to learn the truth from you now."

"About what, exactly?" Hermione asked. A wave of alternating hot and cold rushed over her skin.

"About what happened between you and Severus. A Pensieve, as well as numerous bottled memories of Lucius Malfoy's, existing before his full Obliviate, were taken. I have... perused some of these. I assume you've seen them as well, that this was what Lucius wanted to show you?"

"Yes."

"And has Severus inflicted any of this sort of... this activity, upon you?"

Hermione gulped. "What do you mean?"

"Hermione, I understand if you might feel some sort of need to protect Severus, but I must know the truth now." His blue eyes flashed, and Hermione felt the stiffness in her throat loosen. She licked her drying lips and took a steadying breath.

"Severus didn't do anything I hadn't agreed to participate in," she said. Why did she feel like this was a lie? "He's probably wondering why I'm not home now, actually. I probably should let him know where I am," she mumbled.

"Severus is in a cell at the Ministry now. Harry and Kingsley took him into custody after Lucius was secured. Kingsley tells me he tried to selectively Obliviate Harry?"

Hermione gasped. It hadn't worked? If it hadn't worked... then Harry had probably told everyone about what he'd seen.

"Apparently, Harry had time to erect effective enough Occlumency shields to fool Severus. An amazing feat, truly. It seems he even convinced you, too." Hermione's heart seemed about to thud out of her throat.

"Um... it's really not what it looks like, Professor. Severus shouldn't be arrested, really. Does it change anything if I actually enjoy some things people might find disturbing?" Her voice had risen half an octave. Her cheeks and ears felt as if they would burst into flame. Discussing her sex life with Dumbledore was the last thing she wanted to be doing.

"Why is it you came here, instead of going back to your house?"

That simple question was the crux of the matter.

Dumbledore stood, looking down at Hermione sadly for a moment. "I will be in my office at Hogwarts if you would like to speak more. The password is Grumpy Gumdrops."

Hermione didn't move as Dumbledore let himself out.

*****

Lucius Malfoy, though he had avoided capture for so long, was cooperating fully with each and every investigator who had questioned him so far. He was tired. Beyond tired, shattered. But he understood why they were doing this. He'd done what had to be done, and he was at peace with himself. The voice that had driven him before, starting out as a whisper and gradually growing to a shout, had disappeared. That, more than anything, assured him that his mission had been accomplished. He could rest now. He wouldn't have to kill anymore.

"And again, Mr Malfoy, just why did you take it upon yourself to murder these men?"

Lucius yawned, then answered, "The Ministry of Magic wasn't doing enough. I had to save them." He'd repeated the same answer to that question, and dozens of variations of that question, more times than he could count now.

"How did you get to the locations to perform the murders?"

This question too, he'd answered before. "I own a few Thestrals. They flew me to the locations. I had had the Thestrals since my father gave them to me on my twentieth birthday. I was going to give them to Draco, apparently, before I was reborn. They had been kept secret as a family tradition... though when I was incapacitated, Draco had discovered them."

His rebirth had truly been the best thing that could have happened to him. To be able to turn all those tools that had previously been used for evil, and to use them for good had been the right thing to do. He yawned again, unable to stop himself. He had no idea now how long he'd been awake – there were no windows by which to observe the passage of time, only the continuous barrage of questions from one Auror or MLE officer after another.

The door of the windowless cell opened again, and this time the black Auror entered. Lucius admired him already, even if they did appear to be on opposite sides of the law. "Let's put him away now. We're not getting anywhere new," Kingsley Shacklebolt said.

Lucius was hefted to his feet by the two men and escorted down several hallways, then into another room lined with cells. He recognised the Pensieve and the chest – and then saw, inside a cell, Snape. He smiled with satisfaction. Justice, at least partly, would progress. Of course, ministry-issued justice could never truly be harsh enough.

The officers locked him in a cell and left the room. But even though he was tired, Lucius wouldn't sleep. Not yet.

*****

Severus was in jail. How could Harry do this? No, she couldn't blame Harry. He was overreacting, true, but that was typical. She'd been infuriated with Severus for trying to Obliviate him, but at the same time, a part of her had been relieved that there would be one less issue to deal with. Now she had not only Severus to deal with, but Harry, Dumbledore, and who knew who else.

With a sigh, she closed her eyes. She just needed everything to go away and leave her alone... just long enough for her to get her thoughts together.

"Hermione dear! What are you doing here?"

"Hullo, Mum," answered Hermione, opening her eyes.

"Is something the matter? Yes, something is the matter. What is it, Hermione?"

"Would it be all right if I stayed here a while? Just... I can't explain it all. I just need to get away for a while."

"Yes, of course that would be all right." Her mother looked as if she wanted to ask about it, but instead said, "I was planning on ordering curry for dinner, what would you like?"

Home again. It was good. Her father came home not long after that, and after a sharp glance from her mother, he too pretended that nothing was out of the ordinary, making small talk and relating a few dental incidences that Hermione couldn't help but laugh at.

Niggling in the back of her mind, however, was the fact that Severus was in jail. Because of her. She really should get up there and straighten it all out, she knew. It wasn't right for her to be here with her parents, the three of them pretending that the looming issue (which her parents were blissfully unaware of even if they knew something was up) didn't exist while he was being held by the ministry at Harry's behest. Why couldn't she bring herself to get up and go get it taken care of?

All through dinner she thought the same, and then after dinner, watching the telly with her dad (mum had gone to bed, Hermione suspected to restrain herself from asking about why she was home). Monty Python's flying circus brought back memories of her life before she knew she was a witch, a time when she'd had the world to look forward to and found it fascinating. So many things to do, places to see, books to read.

It had only become more fascinating when she'd learned of the Wizarding world.

Why then, was the life she led now so very different? Was it simply that when she was a child the world had seemed to be so much more? Did everyone else find the reality of day-to-day life the same, like there really wasn't anything else fascinating to see or do? Or perhaps it was facing such spectacularly dangerous adventures at such a young age. How could she top having been involved with defeating one of the most powerful Dark Wizards in history? And especially how could she, after having had so much hope for the future, surrender herself to an insane act of law and a man she never would have given a thought to as any sort of romantic possibility? How could she just let her life go like that?

She transfigured a book into a mattress when it came time to sleep, but despite that, sleep eluded her. It was well into the wee hours of the morning before she finally found it.

*****

"Be sure your sins will find you out," said Malfoy.

"Don't start quoting the bible, Malfoy. It's not your style, even now."

"No, but it's fitting, isn't it?"

"As is 'take the beam from your own eye'." Snape rolled off the shelf that passed for a cot to walk to the edge of the cell and face Malfoy. The man looked tired. Snape, at least, had slept. He'd been here too long; Hermione should have come. It had been nearly two days – it was now evening of the second day. No one had been in to see him – though a few had come to retrieve the Pensieve and chest.

What if Hermione were being kept from him, or worse, what if she wasn't? What if she didn't want to see him. What had Malfoy done to convince her of anything in so short a time? She'd been with him for fifteen months; a week away – two, counting her vacation with her friends – should have had no effect on her opinion of him.

"I should thank you, Severus, for instigating the change I went through. I would say that I owed you my life, if you weren't also one I had to stop."

Severus gritted his teeth. Arguing with this man would accomplish nothing. Just as he turned to sit on his bunk again, the hinges of the main door opened. He turned back again.

"Hermione..."

"Severus, hello," she said quietly, meeting his eyes fleetingly. She stepped out of the doorway to allow Kingsley Shacklebolt through, who withdrew a ring of keys, and set Severus free.

"It's been decided that you may go. There may still be charges brought, so do not attempt to leave the country, Snape," Shacklebolt said, looking beyond Severus at the stone wall with an inscrutable expression. Severus stepped out of the cell, not bothering to respond to Shacklebolt.

"Hermione, shall we go home?" he said as she took up stride beside him. She was silent as they walked through several corridors, waited for another door to be unlocked, and then walked down the ministry basement corridors toward the exit. Severus wanted to say more, but not here.

"Let's... go for dinner somewhere," she said finally.

"Very well," he agreed. He felt filthy from too long without a bath, and his hair was even greasier than usual, but something about her tone convinced him that now was not the time to insist.

Outside the Ministry, Hermione paused in thought. "There's a nice place I know. You haven't been there before." She held out her arm, and Severus took it, allowing her to lead the Apparation. They arrived in an abandoned alleyway. A thuggish-looking young man saw them, but before he could do anything, Hermione brandished her wand and Confounded him.

"Good work," said Severus.

Inside a dimly lit Italian restaurant, they were seated. Severus stayed silent, looking towards Hermione, whose brows were knit in concentration, her mouth drawn in a thin line. Severus's stomach lurched. She quickly and subtly cast a privacy charm around them.

"I'm sorry I didn't get you out sooner," she began, fiddling with the tablecloth, eyes cast on the votive candle lighting the table.

"I'm sure you did so as quickly as you could, Hermione," he said softly. He felt sure that something was wrong and wanted to reassure her.

"No... I didn't, actually." She sucked in a breath and exhaled heavily, then looked up to meet his eyes.

The waiter interrupted them. "Your menus," he announced, thrusting menus in front of them. "Would you like to order your drinks now?"

They both were jolted by the interruption, but accepted the menus. The waiter, seeing he had interrupted, said, "I'll give you a moment to decide what you'd like, and will be back in a moment."

Severus wasn't hungry. Hermione gave a cursory glance at the menu and placed it on the table, and Severus decided it would be best to order something. Surely, simply staring at her wouldn't be productive. Everything would be fine, he just had to play along right now. She'd been through a lot over the last few weeks. He was still a bit angry about what she'd done with Potter, but would address that later. Perhaps, once she'd said what she wanted to say, it would be the right time to let her know some of the things he'd come to think of over the last two days while he'd been incarcerated.

"I'm leaving."

Her lips returned to a thin line, and after several moments of silence she looked back down at her menu.

"You're... what?" he whispered.

"I've moved my things into my parents' house. I'll be staying there for a while." Her eyes were still on the menu.

"Have you decided on what you'd like?"

"A Cesar Salad," said Hermione to the waiter. "And a bottle of the house white."

"And you, sir?"

Severus continued to stare at Hermione.

"Sir? Did you decide what you would like to have?"

He wanted Hermione to stay with him. That, of course, wasn't what the waiter wanted to know.

"He'll have the penne rustica," Hermione supplied in the following silence.

"It'll be out soon," the waiter said, "I'll bring your wine directly," then left. Severus was still staring at Hermione, his mouth hanging slightly agape, when the waiter returned with the wine, uncorked it and poured it into their glasses. Hermione took a gulp, drinking the entire glass, then refilled it once the waiter was gone.

"This may be temporary, I don't know right now. I need some time to think about things."

"Hermione..." His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, beginning again. "Hermione... if this is about something Malfoy showed you..."

"No. Not anything he showed me. I've had time to think some things over, however, and I need more time to think."

"Let's talk about this at home, please," he murmured, suddenly aware, even with the surrounding shield from eavesdroppers, that their location was painfully public.

"My parents are expecting me in an hour."

That seemed to be the end of it. There was a certain note of finality in her tone. But it couldn't be. It just couldn't be. Unless...

"Hermione, please... don't do this now. You've been through a difficult week, and even... well, what happened with Potter, I am... willing to discuss it. I am – was – am, honestly, angry about it; but I've had time to think too. If you really felt the need..." He faltered, trying to search for the right words to go on. She couldn't be leaving him over that – he wasn't really that angry with her. "I wouldn't do anything..."

"I know you wouldn't," Hermione cut in. "I know it's not like that. Right now I can't really explain it all, I don't really want to try to explain it all right now. I didn't really choose this, any of this."

She didn't choose this? After all this time, she had the nerve to say she hadn't chosen this? Severus's nostrils flared and his molars ground together, though he kept his mouth tightly shut. After several moments, during which Hermione seemed to understand he needed silence to think, he realised she had a point, albeit one he didn't agree with.

What he really needed now was a change of tactic.

Their meals arrived, and neither of them had said anything for a while. They shared the awkward silence... well, awkwardly. Both had seemed about to say something at various points, though they didn't. What could be said?

Severus, most of all, felt he had to convince her this wasn't right, but had no idea how to say it. Hermione took out some Muggle currency and paid for the meal.

"I'll... I'll write you sometime this week," she mumbled, starting to get up.

"Hermione, wait!" His hands darted out, capturing hers. "Hermione, please. I love you!"

There, he'd said it. He'd never told her that, but he did now, and not because he wanted to just say something. For the first time in his life, he did love someone. It wasn't a lie; he loved her.

She stared at him, her expression inscrutable. His heart pounded. Severus knew he had to say something else, but didn't know what to say, and as he saw tears well up in her eyes, he felt like he was going to be sick.

"I have to go now," she mumbled, pulling her hand away and quickly leaving.

Severus could do nothing for a long time but stare at the seat she'd occupied.

"Sir, can I get you anything else?" Severus looked up at the waiter, who was obviously aware this could be a delicate situation. Perhaps he'd seen break-ups take place there before? Perhaps they even had a protocol to follow in the event that one person left while the other remained, looking as if their heart had just been ripped out. Of course, he certainly didn't look as if his heart had been ripped out. He would never look like that.

"A bottle of whiskey," Severus answered curtly.

Three hours later, when the manager came to ask if they needed to call him a cab, he mumbled something in the negative and stumbled out of the restaurant, far too drunk to Apparate.

*****

Hermione had to walk down the street for nearly a mile before she felt she could Disapparate. His last words echoed in her mind, along with the image of his eyes. She tried to tell herself that he was just saying that, he didn't mean it, he only wanted to manipulate her, but she couldn't help but believe that he was telling the truth.

Would it change anything? He'd said he'd done some thinking too... could it be that he had made some connections? Could he have realised at least a little bit the kinds of things he'd put her through? Still, he didn't seem to get why she was doing this. And even if he did on some level, maybe he wasn't making the connection of what it was all about.

Her choices had been taken from her. First, when the marriage law had passed, and then again, when he'd made such an issue over sexual control. She'd gained some level of self-determination later on with him, but the overall situation hadn't been her choosing. She would be twenty that year – and more than anything, what she wanted was a self-determined life.

She'd gone along with too many things, accepted having too many freedoms taken from her when she should have fought. She needed a time that was completely of her own choosing in every aspect: a time to find herself.

If Severus really did love her, then he would wait for her and accept her decision, whatever it would be.