Slytherin
Chapter 4 of 8
muzicfan5Into the snake pit
ReviewedBeta'd by hp4freek. I *heart* that girl. Thanks to notsosaintly for pointing out my silly mistakes. *insert standard disclaimer* I own nada.
Chapter Three: Slytherin
Hermione awoke the following morning feeling rather disoriented. There was a chill in the air that she couldn't shake; regardless of how far into her covers she buried herself. The fact that the material of both her night clothes and her bedding seemed unfamiliar wasn't helping matters, either. She opened her eyes and gazed with a rather unfocused look around her. Green curtains? Why the hell would there be green curtains surrounding me?
Hermione stared at the curtains as if they had severely offended her. She was wracking her brain trying to figure out why she was in this cold room with green curtains surrounding her bed. Suddenly, all the events of last night ran her over like a stampede of wild hippogriffs. The Time-Turner sent me back nearly twenty years, the resorting into Slytherin, and most importantly, that snarky boy in the corner of the common room! Hermione opened her curtains quickly, which may have been a mistake on her part. The rush of cool air attacked her, resulting in a violent chill. She walked to the foot of the bed where she found a trunk with a note on it. She didn't recognise the writing, but it was written in green ink. She noted that it seemed to be the same ink her Hogwarts letters were always written in. She read through the note several times over.
To Miss Hermione Granger,
I know that all of your belongings have been left in your previous timeline. I have taken the liberty to provide you with a trunk and some basic school supplies. A teacher shall accompany you into Hogsmeade this weekend, so you may buy the remainder of things you will need for your duration in this time period. You will receive a time table with the remainder of the students at breakfast this morning.
I do hope you are adjusting well, and making friends with you new housemates.
Headmaster Armando Dippet
Hermione rifled though her trunk, pulled out some clean robes, and got changed and ready to start her day. Classes would be starting this morning, and she didn't want to be late. She needed to start mingling with her new housemates as well. The only one she had talked to at all last night was that snarky boy that directed her to her rooms. He was rather gangly looking; his hair was a bit lank and looked like it could be greasy. His nose had been stuck in a book when she had come in. Well, perhaps I'll have a study buddy if nothing else. Hermione decided to make an effort to sit next to him at breakfast, see if she could get anywhere with getting to know this boy. A girl needs to start making friends somewhere. May as well start with someone I've had contact with already.
Hermione rushed to get ready; she wanted to make it to breakfast a little early, but late enough so that she had a chance to try to sit next to her boy of choice.
The Great Hall was just as impressive in this time as it was in hers. There were candles floating above the tables, casting light throughout the room. The sky was a clear blue today. The head table only looked different because she didn't recognise a single professor sitting there save for Professor Dumbledore. She felt a bit like a first year again, only this time she was in the snake pit, quite literally. She was scared of rejection again. She had been off to a rocky start with the Gryffindors initially, though she was also in full know-it-all mode at that point. Granted, she was still a know-it-all, but now she was a subdued know-it-all. She no longer had a desire to wave her hand frantically in class, trying to get approval from the teachers. She knew her material, to the point where she could parrot the information back like a vocal recording of the text. She just no longer had a desire to make sure everyone else knew that she was able to do so.
She looked anxiously up and down the Slytherin table. She didn't recognise anyone sitting there. The boy that she met last night wasn't at the table yet, and everyone else looked quite uninviting. She sat at the closest portion of the table she could get to. She sat by herself. The closest students were far enough away for four students to sit between her and them. Some of the students gave her dirty looks for sitting at their table. Stupid pureblood aristocrats! There were several girls that had looks that rivalled Narcissa Malfoy's pursed lipped look; they looked as though something foul-smelling was painted right beneath their noses.
Hermione chanced occasional glances up and down the table. She was beginning to realise that most of the students that were in Slytherin were not very attractive. She couldn't quite describe what it was about them, but she assumed that this was all a result of generation upon generation of inbreeding. Sooner or later, you get to the shallow end of the gene pool. Of course, since many of their families are no doubt set on blood purity, if these kids' parents are anything like Sirius' mother, the children would be disowned if they dated or settled down with anyone who didn't pass the "blood purity" test. Hermione was brought out of her thoughts again by a cold voice coming from across the table at her.
"I'm sorry, what?" Hermione asked the boy speaking, while trying to shake the glazed, vacant expression off her face.
"I asked if this seat was taken."
"No, you may sit there if you wish." Hermione was excited; it was the boy from the common room!
"Normally, I'm the only one that sits down at the end, as far away from the other students as possible." He paused awkwardly. He wasn't sure why he was telling her such a thing. Maybe it was a subtle way to ask her to leave him to his privacy.
"Oh." Hermione wasn't sure how to respond, so they sat awkwardly for a few moments, munching on bits of toast and egg.
"Where are you from?" the boy asked her again. "I don't remember ever seeing you before."
Hermione stumbled over her words a bit, trying to find an explanation, without revealing too much. "I, uh, well... I was...am a student here."
"Why have I never seen you before?"
"I, uh, well, um... I had a bit of a... an accident."
"What type of accident? You seem fine to me." Blimey, I just complimented her! She's been here for less than twelve hours and already I'm making unwelcome advances! Brilliant, Severus, just bloody brilliant.
She had paled when he had asked for more information. She was lost in a whirlwind of thoughts again, so much so that she missed the compliment that he had inadvertently given her. "The Headmaster doesn't really want me talking about the accident. Suffice it to say that I'll be here for a bit. What's your name anyway?"
"M-my n-name?" He stammered a little. "My name is Severus. What's yours?" He tried to sound a bit more confident. He wasn't so used to being talked to politely, let alone by a female. None of his classmates really paid him much attention. There were a handful that would speak to him, but most of them were afraid of him. He had held a vast knowledge before he had entered Hogwarts. He could curse better than a good portion of even the seventh years at the age of eleven. Not to mention his knowledge about the Dark Arts. Whenever someone spoke to him, it was often out of need. They were gone as soon as they had gotten what they wanted. Then there was that group of Gryffindors that made his life a living hell; always taunting him and pulling pranks on him.
That's a little weird, and maybe a little gross. I have a crush on my teacher? Well, I guess he's not really my teacher in this time... "My name is Hermione." She was really glad that Pro...no, just Snape in this timeline...Snape didn't know about her future self, and didn't seem to hate her. He actually seemed a bit nervous himself, if she was to be quite honest with herself.
She gave him a smile, and they began eating together. "So, Severus, what year are you in?"
"I'm a seventh year; what year are you in, Hermione?"
"I'm a sixth year, though we're probably the same age. My birthday is in about three weeks; I wasn't allowed to begin a year earlier, because you have to be eleven when you enter the building. I would have been ten if I started a year earlier, with the children that shared my birth year," she answered him, giving him more information than she had meant to. Though, she was still being evasive enough to not outright tell him that she wasn't from his time.
"Mine's in January, I'll turn eighteen shortly after everyone returns from winter holiday." Severus glanced up to the far end of the table when he heard parchment ruffling. "Looks like time tables are being passed out. What classes are you taking?"
A worried look passed over Hermione's face; she didn't know what classes she was taking. They hadn't discussed that while in the Headmaster's office last night. She didn't want to tell Severus she didn't know what she was taking, because he'd only ask more questions. "I forgot what I signed up for," she tried to lie and feign nonchalance, but she was mostly certain that she had failed miserably.
Severus gave her a concerned look, but decided he didn't wish to press the issue. She was the first person to be kind to him in quite some time. It would be best to not push what he hoped would be his first friend away before he actually had her as a friend. He gave her a small smile, then continued on, "Well, it doesn't really matter what classes you have, because none of the teachers are very difficult." He had unknowingly just calmed her fears. She hadn't a clue who any of the teachers were, or how difficult they would be. Though, if her books were the same in this timeline as they were in her old timeline, it wouldn't be a problem. She had already memorised them before school had begun. Even if they weren't the same books, they surely had similar information. Hermione gave a relieved smile to Severus and waited anxiously for her time table to come to her.
She read though it and saw that they were all classes she would have taken in her own time. She smiled at the schedule and exchanged tables with Severus to compare free time. His jaw dropped when he glanced down at her schedule.
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked her dining companion, concern evident in her voice.
"Your schedule..." He continued to read over it, a bit confused. "This is the exact schedule I had last year."
"That's a little weird," Hermione confided in him.
"Very," Severus confirmed for her.
Albus Dumbledore, sitting at the head table, looked down at the new student, and her apparent new friend, and he smiled. Miss Granger seemed pleased with her class selection, and Mr. Snape had obviously noticed that it was his exact schedule from the previous year.
The Great Hall was emptying out, and students were beginning to head towards their first classes of the day. Hermione's voice came out a little shaky when she asked the next question. "So, will I see you at lunch then?"
Severus held back a chuckle as he answered her question. "Of course you will." He tried his best to not sound too excited. He was so afraid of scaring her away. He had never had a friend before, but she seemed to be fairly ignorant of his reputation. This piqued his curiosity, but she had already informed him that Headmaster Dippet didn't wish for her to disclose any details about her accident. She seemed intelligent from what he could tell, and she definitely didn't look like she belonged in Slytherin. That was a big plus. Sure, her hair seemed a bit unruly, but who was he to complain about unruly hair. The only way I can get my hair to lay flat is if it's dirty and greasy.
Severus decided he would spend some time in the library later, doing research. He wasn't dirty; he just didn't often wash his hair, because otherwise it stuck up all over the place. When he kept his hair short, it was a bit like (Ugh, I can't believe I'm making this comparison) James Potter's, but wavy. Because of this, he kept it longer, which helped a little to weigh down his hair; but if it was dirty, the natural oils in his hair kept it nice and straight and mostly manageable.
Notes: this is probably my favourite chapter thus far. I've been a slacker lately and haven't been writing, but I do have one more chapter competed after this one. I do hope your enjoying this.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Evil Hermione
27 Reviews | 6.41/10 Average
This is a wonderfull story, I realy like where this is going. And also very realistic in my opinion.
But... I don't know if you can change the words in this story, even though it is already 'published'. But I think that if you can, you might like too change the sequence of this following sentence:
"One of her steps seemed like three of his."
it makes more sence if HIS steps were three times larger then HERS. ;). It just 'pulled' me out of the story a bit. But it puled me out, wich meas I was IN! And that was most definitely the case. Now I will dive right back in, THANKS FOR WRITING THIS! KoenTje
Oh please do continue with this. I am enjoying it immensly :)
Response from muzicfan5 (Author of Evil Hermione)
i've been trying to get back into this story and my muse doesn't seem to want to cooperate. i do intend to write more, but i'm really not sure when it will happen. sorry for the wait.
Please do continue your story! You have it set up so that so many interesting things could happen. I'd like to see Sev/Hermione develop more, I'd like to see some interaction with the Marauders, and I'd like to see something happening with Voldemort. Creative story so far~!
So funny . . . .The characters are a bit OOC, but it works. Really entertaining. I'm looking forward to the next update!
Hi Again there havn't been any updates in a while. And this is such a good story. When do you think there will anothere chapter?
Response from muzicfan5 (Author of Evil Hermione)
i haven't thought about this story in ages. perhaps i'll re read it sometime soon and see if i get inspiration that goes along with what i was doing previously. thank you so much in your interest! ended up reading a bunch of reviews tonight and i'm pleased to see how many nice things people have written!
Sence the title of this chapter is prologe does that mean the storie is almost over?...that would really bite...Ididn't notice its title the first time i read it that is why you are geting my review now...sorry it took so long.One more thing it is unrelated to the story.Are you planing on going into writing professionaly?
Response from muzicfan5 (Author of Evil Hermione)
the title defaulted to that and i forgot to change it oops. i think i can wrangle a few more chapters out of this and no i never thought about going into writing professionally. but i'll take it as a compliment anyway. thanks!
Update!
Response from muzicfan5 (Author of Evil Hermione)
well, since there was an angry mob to be had, i guess i'm going to have to get myself into a writing frenzy. i'll have an empty home and 2 days off next week which means i can be a productive little one.
Response from pickles (Reviewer)
excellent.
we thought you would see it our way. lol
how was your Christmas?
Happy New Year.
Awwwww... That was really cute. Can't wait to read more.
Response from muzicfan5 (Author of Evil Hermione)
I'm glad you liked it! thanks for reading!
hahahaha. such a slytherin. hair care potions my booty! lol. Love it babe! keep it up!
Response from muzicfan5 (Author of Evil Hermione)
Thanks for reading! more should be posted soon
Researching behind the curtains. Is that a new one?? lol.
great chapter. I was tickled to see an update. Something to read while I eat my breakfast.
Thank you.
Patty
Response from muzicfan5 (Author of Evil Hermione)
I had legitimately meant studying behind the curtains, but that does make quite a nice innuendo. hehe. thanks for reading!
looks like your off to a wonderful start with this story. waiting for more.
p
ps that dumbledore - sometimes i wonder if he should have his own matchmaking service. lol
Response from muzicfan5 (Author of Evil Hermione)
that man knows too much for his own good lol.
wonder why he left the other student stay?
good introduction. onto the story.
hee hee hee! wow. bloody brilliant.
Response from muzicfan5 (Author of Evil Hermione)
Thanks! the writing process seems to be progressing well so more should be posted soon! thanks for reading!
Hello! I'm just reviewing to tell you that you have great potential with this story. It is very unorthodox, but extremely entertaining as well. :) I can't wait to read more. I would have posted reviews on all the chapters, but I'm feeling extremely lazy, hee! and I have to work on a banner for a fellow Ravenclaw ... long story. So, with that said ... let me get to it! :D
Prologue - ****
I like how you've explained the reason for Hermione's change. Background is always lovely.
I know you mentioned that this was OOC, but I'm hoping that you will explain the reason for Dr. Granger's decline ... besides the death of his wife. Because I have read further in your story, I know that Hermione suspects that her father killed his wife. I'm sure that there is something in this! :) Hermione wouldn't have said it if there weren't. I can't wait to find out what his reasoning was.
Also, I was wondering what type of abuse Hermione is suffering. Is it general? Or limited to hitting... etc. Just a thought... :)
Uh... a bit of critique. (One of my favorite things to do). You really don't need to change this, really, it's simply my own, personal preference. You really have a gift for writing though, make no mistake. Just trying to help, :).
"Her wit was fully in tact, however, giving her a sharp tongue and sarcasm that could make Severus Snape a very proud man."
Well, so I lied. This does need to be changed, hee! I believe the "in tact" should be changed to "intact," one word. I don't think you're talking about a state of mind or action (tact) you're saying that she was 'intact.' Hehe, very confusing, sorry...
The other bit of con. crit. I had for that sentence was that it "WOULD make Severus Snape a very proud man." The way you have it, "could," it almost seems to me ... that Hermione's sense of sarcasm, if it ever reached Snape's ears, has the potential of making him proud. However, if you change it to 'would,' it seems like Snape is doing the action instead of Hermione. Ah, but that's just me being picky. Hee! :) You don't necessarily have to change it.
The Time-Turner - ****/
This chapter was very entertaining. I wonder if Sam is, in actuality, Minerva? The heavy Scottish accent got me thinking, hee! This bit here really supports the idea that Sam is actually Minerva: "...she had only known a grip like that to belong to Professor McGonagall herself." Am I wrong? Although, I suppose that if Tom Riddle, who wouldn't be known as Voldemort although I understand that you are using creative license :), is now a crooked politician, Minerva would also be out of school. *sigh* I don't know. I'm overanalyzing when I needn't be. This really is a great story. I'm just so passionate about things. tsk, tsk, tsk... moving on.
The only bit of con. crit. I have for you, though, is that Hermione's transition from contemplating the time-turner shifts rather quickly to the girls' dormitory. Perhaps if you seamed it together with a transitory paragraph?
The Headmaster's Office ****
I truly enjoyed your characterization of Headmaster Dippet. :) Very fun! The only bit of crit. I had was that the Hat seemed to place Hermione very quickly. However, as you explained the Hat's reasoning, I think it's completely suitable if you just want to leave it that way. :) Again, I'm overanalyzing.
Oh, by the way, I absolutely adored Severus's comment, "Take a picture, it'll last longer." Hee! Ha! Funny! I laughed so hard. Great comment. Snarky but not jaded yet. I hope Hermione can change this Snape for the better.
I loved the way in which you wrote of Hermione's first encounter with the Slytherin Common Room. The password was fantastic. Thank you for the clarification of it. :)
Slytherin - *****
I can see why this is your favorite chapter so far, it's my favorite, too. Really nice job on the tender beginnings of Severus and Hermione's budding relationship. I hope they become best of friends! What a laugh that will be. :)
Also, I can't wait to see the reaction of Hermione when she meets the Marauders and Lily. I do so hope that you find time to continue the story.
Although I have commented (excessively) on your wonderful story and con. crit-ted it to death, :P, please know that I'm only trying to be constructive and I truly enjoyed this. Well done!
~Julia~
Response from muzicfan5 (Author of Evil Hermione)
Thank you so much for reviewing and letting me know how i can improve! i really do apprecaite it. I edited slightly taking your advice. i added a paragraph to time turner and i fixed the sev thing in the prologue like you suggested. i'm hopeful that the sorting hat will explain itself in future chapters, and i really like the suggestion that you made in regards to dad's history. perhaps thats something to get into at a later date.
i'm trying my best to continue writing, i got in a bit of a slump and couldn't find anything i really liked to continue on. i have the next chapter written, but i didn't really want to post it until i was a chapter ahead of myself. I'm sure that the marauders will make an appearance in the story at some point, but fair warning, they won't be shown in a good light at all.
Thank you so much for the constructive critisium, it gave me a lot to think about and perhaps some inspiration. now all i need is time to actually write...good thing i'm starting a second job in a few days. LOL
thanks for reading and reviewing!
Jen
I really like this so far. Please update soon!~Sarah
interesting chapter. i look forward to hermione as a slytherin
Um quick question... about Dumbledore... didn't he become Headmaster of Hogwarts the year Lupin, James, Sirius, and Snape became students? I thought that was how Lupin was allowed to attend Hogwarts while being a werewolf, that and the willow. ~scampers off to hp-lexicon to see if she is insane~ Very interesting story by the way! I have a special interest in SS/ HG's that start in his time. I like that you have decided to put Hermione in Slytherin... that makes it EXTRA fun!!! I hope you get the time for an update soon!~*~Selene~*~
Response from muzicfan5 (Author of Evil Hermione)
true story about the timeline. i took my creative lisence and tweeked it to what i wanted it to be. that's the beauty of AU :)
thanks for reading/reviewing, i hope to write more soon.
If you've lost motivation, what can I say who have not had the chance to guess where the story is going? Judging by the title, Hermione is meant to become evil at some point. Once you reach that point, I might know what to tell you and, maybe, boost your motivation (or not).
Response from muzicfan5 (Author of Evil Hermione)
Thanks for the kind words. It's currently more an issue of time than motivation. I work about 70 hours a week, and i don't think anyone really wants to write at one am, or even three am, knowing that they have to get up for 9 or 10 the next morning... I'm making it a goal to finish this story in a timely manner.
thank you for a new chapter. seems things are progressing for sev.
Interesting. I hope you find time to continue.
Response from muzicfan5 (Author of Evil Hermione)
i've been a writing fiend when i've had time. hopefully more will be posted in about a week!
Oooh... this story is cooking up to be really good. I'm bookmarking it so I don't miss what comes next.
Response from muzicfan5 (Author of Evil Hermione)
that's so awesome! that means a lot coming from you, seeing as you have to at least browse everything that gets submited to the site. Thanks!
Yes! At last they kiss! I'm really enjoying the story so far. I hope you update soon!