The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane
TeddyRadiator170 Reviews | 6.16/10 (170 Ratings, 0 Likes, 16 Favorites )
Wizarding Britain, ten years after the war. Things are good, but the Ministry thinks what's needed is a good old fashioned Beltane revel. Hogwarts is just the place to do it. In the meantime, Severus isn't enjoying life right now; he's the subject of Rita Skeeter's new tell-all book. And don't get Hermione started on how Ron continues to make her life a misery. Perhaps this Beltane stuff may just be the ticket to help them out as well. Written for Jenidralph in the winter 2013 LiveJournal SSHG_Prompfest.
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About TeddyRadiator
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TeddyRadiator
Member Since 2010 | 32 Stories | Favorited by 519 | 63 Reviews Written | 2,566 Review Responses
Just a small town girl who loves HG/SS fanfiction. You can always find me at LiveJournal: http://teddyradiator.livejournal.com/ where I 'live' on the net. 
Reviews for The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane
Bloody funny!! Please, oh please give us naked Severus wearing the antlers of the pagan god cavorting around the Beltane fires!! Bonus if he's wearing the full mask!
I laughed so hard I nearly dumped a small child off my lap. Looking toward to the next chapter! Thank you!
(Note to self - read it after her bedtime.)
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Well, I'll try! *sifts through the pages of the fic, looking for nekkid Severus with antlers* I thought I had it here somewhere...
I'm totally enjoying this! I can't wait for the sexy times to start between them! Thanks for sharing.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Thank you! I think there might be some of those in here somewhere *ruffles through the pages*
HAHAHAHA they so silly lolol big butts hehehehehe thanks teddy.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
You're welcome, MzCoco!
No, Sev is right: Potter is the Oak King, and Severus is the Holly King. He should be starring in the Midwinter ritual, not Beltane. Love is the Law, Love under Will! ;-)
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Well, perhaps next year.
*snigger* "Sleep well, Professor"? With thoughts in his head of dancing in the alltogether on camera? This just keeps getting better and better. ^_^
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Poor guy! He just can't get a break! :) Thank you!!
I very much enjoy your writing style...have you been published yet? Keep the wonderful chapters coming! :)
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Thank you! I am finishing up an original novel, and I hope to have it at least self-published by the summer. I'll be sure and let everyone in the world know - I'm crazy proud of it, and hope it will be well-received. I'll be uploading the chapters quickly. The story is complete,
Poor Severus, collapsing with exhastion after a hard day of being frightening 
and farting pink cherubs fluttering all over my imagination 
, Can't wait for Beltane to begin.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
As you can tell, I had too much fun writing this - I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Severus should have just left the country after the war. Potioneers are needed everywhere, and nothing and no one in Wizarding Britain is worth his time. Certainly that horrible school is unworthy of him.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Well, you know what they say... better the devil you know...
Response from Very Small Prophet (Reviewer)
If it were only one devil I could understand him staying, but hundreds of abusive letters? Even having Hermione on his side won't make up for the hostility of all of Wizarding Britain. There are lots of good fish in the sea, Sev. Go cast your line in Canada or the States.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
True, but we wouldn't have a story. ;)
Teddy, what a great chapter I love Severus' inner dialog..."Merlin's rotting rectum"!! a new one for sure and funny as hell! I do so love your Severus!!
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Thank you! I need to give a credit for that in this chapter. I have to admit I lifted it from the awesome RedSkyAtNight - it's such a delicious oath, and so Severus.
Response from deedeebug95 (Reviewer)
RedSkyAtNight? Have I missed someone terrific?
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
PM me on Facebook...
Does this mean Snape gets to dance naked with Granger around his pole maypole? ;)
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Well, it is Spring Break....
Oh, no! Snape has been desnarked! Someone do something! :)
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Yep - who you gonna call?
Farting pink cherubs? Does the air turn pink then rather than blue?Loved the ending line. Is she going to go off on a rant or allow the teachers to do so? ^_^
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
The farting pink cherubs conversation actually took place between myself and my amazing beta/editor, stgulik, who had me in stitches. I couldn't leave it out of their conversation!
Oh gods, even I'm excited!
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Excellent - it promises to be a fun ride!
Severus sounds like he is in a bad way, so if meddling is called for let the meddling begin.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Aaaaaaand they're off! ;)
My two favorite things together, Severus and Beltane. This should be fun.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Thank you - I certainly had a ball writing this for the promptfest - I promise to update quickly.
Hmmmm. They're plotting and planning. This should get interesting. ^_^
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
They certainly are! Hold on to your brooms, it's going to be a bumpy flight!
oh goody, a new promising story with meddeling. I think I love it, I know I look forward to read more:-))
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Oh, there'll be meddling a-plenty!
Congratulations! This story/art has been nominated for the 2014 SSHG Fan Fic Awards in the category of "Best Erotica of 2014." A complete list of nominations for each category will be posted on 2 February 2015. Our award site can be found at sshg-ficawards.livejournal.com. Please advise if you do not wish to accept this nomination. If we do not hear from you we will assume that your nomination has been accepted. You can also find us on facebook in the closed group "The SSHG Fic Awards."Have an awesome day!SSHGFicAward Mods (
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
, AraeOfSomething & Wildcard_fic)
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Thank you! I believe I've already accepted this nomination but I wish to thank you regardless.
What a fun and intriguing start. You've captured all these characters so well. I love the Minerva-Albus interaction and all Minerva's wry asides. (I imagine the peanut gallery would be quite wearing even without Albus!) And Filius's sunny personality has brightened things for me as well as for Minerva.
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Kelly, thank you so much for reading my fic! I am so honoured. I hope you will enjoy it. While it is a Severus/Hermione-centric story, it's also the story of the Hogwarts Coven as well, and I hope you'll enjoy that part ot it.
Response from kellychambliss (Reviewer)
I'm sure I will! And I'll enjoy the SS/HG part, too. it's not my OTP, but I really like both characters, so a well-told, IC version of that pairing is always a good read.
Huzzah indeed!! Another Teddy story!! I love Beltane stories and this one is starting off well,kudos Lovely!
Response from TeddyRadiator (Author of The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane)
Thank you, sweetie! The promptfest ended on January 31, so we are able to post our stories now. I hope you continue to enjoy it - I had a ball writing this one.