Chapter 17

Chapter 17

That evening, Hermione waited anxiously in the entrance hall, pacing as she waited for Harry to arrive. She had no idea how she was going to tell him about her developing ... whatever it was ... with Severus. After classes had ended and she had finished her daily meeting with Minerva, she had gone back to her room and spent some time using Cleansing Charms to put her room to rights. Then, she used a Shrinking Spell on some of her furniture. That done, she had enough room to transfigure the arm chair into a guest bed.

She had seen Severus at lunch, as usual, but he had been in a bad mood because of Colin Creevey's incompetence, and she had been worrying about whether Severus still wanted her or not, as well as what Harry would say when she told him whatever she managed to tell him. So they had both been distracted and, as a result, had talked very little.

She had also decided not to visit Severus for the rest of the day. She figured they had taken a huge leap in their relationship; she, for one, needed some space to let her heart and mind catch up to her body. So she had told Severus that he shouldn't expect her at dinner, because Harry would just be arriving and they would have pizza or something.

That way, she reasoned, she would have a chance to prepare Harry for eating breakfast with a person he viewed as a mortal enemy.

If only she could figure out what to say.

Finally, Harry arrived. He was slightly out of breath after hurrying from the main gate up to the entrance hall, and she wondered if he was finding any time to play Quidditch these days. When he spied her, he hurried over and swept her off her feet into a hug.

"Hermione! It's so great to see you! You look marvelous! Did you do something different with your hair?"

"Harry!" she squealed. "Put me down. You're making me dizzy, swinging me around like that."

Setting her back on her feet, he gave her an engaging grin. "I've missed you! I don't have anyone to turn to when I need a know-it-all anymore. Now, I'm starving. Am I too late for dinner?"

"Oh," she said anxiously. "I thought it would be more fun if we just asked the house-elves for a pizza and a little butterbeer and caught up in my room. That way, we won't have everyone else tripping all over themselves to greet you."

He grinned at her. "See? That's why I need you around – I didn't even think about that! Lead the way."

She led him to her room, and they sat on their beds and ate pizza and caught up. She absently asked about all their mutual friends – Neville, Ron, Lavender – and then promptly failed to take in his answers, because all she could focus on was how to broach the subject of Severus. She just couldn't think of a way to do it. She almost regretted that Severus had figured out her original plan and stopped her – but of course, he was probably right that she wouldn't have gone through with it, anyway. And, of course, the argument that whole thing had precipitated had led to lots of fantastic snogging – and the events of last night and this morning, too.

All that aside, however, Harry was her best friend – what if he didn't understand? Which was a distinct possibility, she supposed, since she didn't really understand it herself. What if he was so disgusted that he never spoke to her again? And what if that happened and then it turned out Severus didn't love her at all?

Eventually, Hermione realized that Harry seemed preoccupied, too. She suddenly remembered that he had said something in his first note about having something to discuss with her. She gratefully took that excuse to postpone telling him her news. "Harry?"

"Yes?"

"Is everything all right? You seem distracted."

"Do I?" he prevaricated. But then he sighed and said, "It's just – well, I wanted to tell you something, and I just hope you don't get mad at me."

His words were so similar to her own thoughts that she smiled. "Just tell me, Harry. It can't be that bad. And hey, friends support each other, no matter what, right?"

He smiled, seeming relieved. Still, he took a deep breath and released it, then said in a rush, "The thing is, I know everyone thinks I should be an Auror, and maybe I will, someday, but for right now, I really want to give professional Quidditch a try first."

She stared at him, surprised he had been so anxious about this. Sure, she didn't care for Quidditch, but even she recognized that he was really good at it, and how much he loved it. "Is that all?" she asked on a laugh. "The way you were carrying on, I thought ... well, never mind." She pulled him into a quick hug. "Anyway, I think you should do whatever you think is best – just as long as you don't expect me to show up at every single match."

He laughed. "No, I know that would be too much to ask. I'll settle for every other match."

She said, "Every other match? Ha! You'll be lucky to get every fourth match out of me this year. Apprenticeship is very busy business, you know."

He grinned. "Sure it is, Hermione. I know you too well to fall for that. You just don't want to watch Quidditch if you can possibly avoid it. I can see you running to McGonagall and saying, 'I need more work – otherwise Harry will start dragging me to Quidditch matches! Help!'" He said this last bit in an exaggerated falsetto that made Hermione laugh helplessly.

"You're ridiculous," she gasped. "I would never admit to Minerva that I need an excuse to get out of Quidditch!" He started laughing, too, and soon they were both flopped on their beds, giggling helplessly.

Their conversation grew more mundane, and as it got late, started to be punctuated by silences. Each time it got quiet, Hermione tried to work up the nerve to tell Harry about Severus, and each time, she found herself choosing another, safer topic instead. Eventually, he stood and said, "I don't know about you, Hermione, but I'm getting tired. Why don't I slip outside for a bit and give you time to get yourself together?"

"Oh," she said, knowing she really should tell him now, but finding she couldn't. She would tell him first thing in the morning. No sense spoiling both their sleeps, right? "Okay, sure. I'll see you in a bit then."

He grinned easily and headed outside. She glanced at the clock and realized it was after midnight. She wondered if Severus was asleep yet. Maybe she should just do a quick Floo over there ...

No, that was too risky. Harry might come back before she did – she and Severus had a tendency to get distracted – and she didn't want Harry to be alarmed if he found her gone.

Sighing, she quickly washed up and changed into her nightie. She went to brush her teeth; when she returned, an all-too-familiar voice said in a dangerous tone, "I've come to collect what you owe me."

Outside in the courtyard, Harry thought back over the evening, pacing as he tried to figure out what was worrying him about it. Hermione's reaction had been far more understanding than he had dared hope for. He knew she didn't get why he loved Quidditch so much. He had always assumed that she thought it a dangerous waste of time, so he was surprised she had basically told him he should go for it, and that she would support him no matter what.

Out of the darkness to his left, he heard movement before a familiar voice called cheerfully, "Harry, m'boy! I heard you were coming to see Hermione! It's a pleasure to have you back. How are you?" Dumbledore appeared, smiling widely.

"I'm fine, Professor," Harry smiled back. "It's good to be back at Hogwarts – I've missed the old place. I'm just giving Hermione a few minutes of privacy."

"Oh, that's good," Dumbledore said. "Have you two made specific plans for the weekend?"

Harry laughed. "I'm hoping to persuade her to come to the Quidditch match, but other than that, nothing special."

Dumbledore laughed, "Good luck with that, Harry. Our Hermione doesn't love Quidditch as much as one might hope." He paused, and there was a new, probing quality to his next question. "So, everything's all right between you?"

"Sure," Harry replied, perplexed. "Shouldn't it be?"

"Oh, of course, of course," Dumbledore said hastily. "It's just that sometimes, as people mature, they grow into choices that old friends might not approve. One of the great challenges of friendship is to maintain our love and respect for people who want to do things that we disapprove, or develop close ties with people we dislike, or change their lives in ways that we think harmful. Those changes tend to come faster when friends are separated. I just hope that doesn't come between you and Hermione – you've been so supportive of each other over the years." He paused and peered at Harry through the darkness. "What am I saying? Of course you and Hermione will support each other, no matter what. It's what you've always done, isn't it?" Harry nodded, but as he had no idea what Dumbledore was talking about, he didn't quite know what to say. After a moment, Dumbledore smiled benignly and said, "Well, it's late, so I'm off to bed. Have a good night, Harry."

"Good night, sir," Harry replied absently, trying to figure out what the old wizard had been trying to say. When he was alone again, he stared up at the sky, wondering what that could have been about. Could Dumbledore have heard about his plans for professional Quidditch? Harry couldn't imagine how – although that wasn't unusual, as Dumbledore always seemed to know things he logically shouldn't. But if he thought Harry's choices would cause a rift in their friendship, wouldn't he have spoken with Hermione about supporting choices you disagreed with?

Suddenly, it hit him – he wasn't the only one who was changing now that he and Hermione were separated. She must be changing, too, and some decision she had made had Dumbledore concerned that Harry would disapprove. Looking back over their conversation, he realized now that Hermione had been preoccupied on and off all evening – almost as though she was afraid to tell him something.

He couldn't imagine what it might be – Hermione had always been very smart in her choices, so he rarely had any trouble supporting them. It was one of the reasons he valued her opinion so greatly. It seemed unlikely that whatever she was doing now would be something he would have a serious problem with.

He decided to head back inside and just ask her about it. She would worry until she told him, and he wanted to reassure her right away that he was her friend and would support her no matter what.