Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Hermione woke early the next morning to find herself enveloped in the heat of Severus's warm embrace. His even breathing suggested he was still sleeping, yet he held her securely nestled in his arms, spooning her sweetly.

She thought about the events of last night. She really hadn't intended to stay the night – at least not consciously. She had just needed to see him once more before trying to sleep, and she had figured she would kiss him for a bit and then go back to her own lonely bed. She hadn't realized how edgy she was – how desperately her body would cry out for relief.

She blushed as she thought about how she had begged him not to make her wait any longer, but considering the outcome, she couldn't regret it. She had begun to think that he was toying with her or something – she just didn't get why he was so set on waiting when it was all they could do these days to keep their hands off each other long enough to have a coherent conversation. She couldn't help thinking that once they finally made love, they'd be able to talk to each other a little more intelligently again.

Cautiously, she turned in his embrace, trying not to wake him. This was the first time they had spent a full night together, and she was curious about how he might look asleep. She didn't want to wake him, though, which made it difficult to change position. His arms kept tightening around her, even though he showed no sign of waking up.

She finally managed to shift enough to see his face. He looked relaxed and carefree in a way she had never seen him, and for the first time, she was able to picture him as a boy. He would have been thin and serious, but totally adorable, she decided, smiling to herself.

She suddenly really wanted him to wake up and kiss her good morning. She had never experienced anything as wonderful as the intense orgasm he had given her last night, and she hadn't slept that soundly and peacefully in months. Not even the night she had taken the Dreamless Sleep Draught.

Come to think of it, sleeping here, with Severus, had worked just as well as the draught had. And she obviously hadn't overslept, since he wasn't even awake yet. In any event, just watching him sleep was making her start to feel tingly again – a feeling she now had no doubt was the stirrings of awakening desire. So, despite having experienced total relief from her frustration last night, she knew it was just a matter of time before she reached that point again. And now that she had some small idea of what she had been missing, she doubted she would last another two weeks before her passion got the better of her.

Frowning suddenly, she considered more carefully the fact that he hadn't taken the same relief for himself that he had given her. She didn't know how he could stand it – unless he wasn't as desperately frustrated as she had been. Her frown deepened as she realized that not only did he seem more in control of his body than she was, but he also had never said anything about his feelings for her.

Except that he wanted her, which didn't really count.

His quiet voice startled her. "You're looking very serious, considering the day hasn't even started yet." Her eyes flew to his, which she now saw were very slightly open, glittering as he watched her watch him.

"Oh," she said, flustered. "I was just ... thinking."

"Serious thoughts, if that frown was any indication."

"Oh, um ..." she cast about for something to say. She started babbling in an attempt to cover her confusion. "I was wondering what time it is. And thinking about how much I have to do today. And wishing you would wake up because I wanted to kiss you but I didn't want to wake you up. How long have you been awake, anyway?"

He smiled lazily. "Long enough. Now, I believe you said something about kissing me?"

She couldn't help smiling back. "Yes, I believe I did."

"Well, then, get over here, woman." Tugging her closer, he didn't wait for her to kiss him; instead, he kissed her languidly and quite thoroughly. She pushed aside her misgivings in favor of giving herself up to the amazing feelings he was effortlessly bringing back to life.

Gradually, their kisses became more heated, more urgent. Hermione felt her passion building, but she tried to keep a little control, because she was determined that he should have some pleasure this time, too. She had a feeling that once he gave her relief, he would pull away, so she had to make sure he had some relief first.

She pressed closer to him, rubbing sinuously against him. She slid a hand down his bare chest, enjoying the feel of his muscles reflexively quivering beneath her fingers. Always, before, she had stopped when she got to his waist, but this time, she boldly slid her fingers into the waistband of his pyjamas, and for the first time, she really touched him.

In fact, without giving him a chance to protest, she explored his erection with her fingers, familiarizing herself with its shape and texture. He moaned into her mouth, and then she took him firmly in her hand. His hips jerked reflexively, and he moaned again. His hand covered hers, and he began moving their hands, demonstrating the grip and rhythm he wanted, until she caught on and took over.

Part of her was embarrassed at the intimacy, but mostly, she was just thrilled that she had this effect on him. It reassured her that she wasn't as far out on a limb in this budding relationship as she had begun to fear. She became caught up once more in his unguarded response to her ministrations, and then his fingers began playing with her most intimate places.

In the end, they both found relief together. As their breathing slowed, he held her close, stroking her back and kissing her hair. Eventually, he said, "You didn't have to do that, you know."

"I know." Kissing his chest, which was doubling as her pillow at the moment, she smiled. "I wanted to." She paused, then couldn't help asking, "It was ... okay?"

She felt him smile against the top of her head, and then he said, "'Okay' isn't quite the word I would use. 'Fantastic' or 'magnificent' would come closer."

She blushed and whispered, "Good."

Several more moments passed before he said, "Much as I would love to stay here like this all day, we should probably get cleaned up. I believe you're expecting a visitor today?"

She groaned. "Yes. I am. But I don't want to move yet. Can't we just stay here awhile longer?"

He chuckled. "We could, I suppose. Perhaps if you aren't home when he arrives, he'll just go away."

She smacked him lightly, then kissed the spot. "You promised to be civil, remember?"

"And I will. But you can't blame me for hoping he changes his mind about visiting."

"All right, all right," she replied, resigned to the fact that two of the most important people in her life would probably never be more than civil to one another. "But let's talk about something else right this minute, okay?"

"We could go back to my original statement – we should probably get cleaned up. We're about to miss breakfast, you know."

"I'm not hungry," Hermione replied, even though she was, a little. She just enjoyed this mellow, relaxed Severus so much that she didn't want to move for fear that something would happen to ruin things between them. "I don't need any breakfast today. It's a well-known fact that people are in the habit of overeating these days. And you could just do a quick Cleansing Charm, if you want."

"Well, Miss Know-It-All," he said, sounding tender and amused, "It's also a well-known fact that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And has it escaped your attention that you've burned quite a few calories already today, which need to be replaced so you don't waste away into nothing?" Nevertheless, he executed the Cleansing Charm.

She couldn't help it, she giggled. "Oh, have I been active this morning? I don't remember anything like that. It seems to me that I've just been lazing around in bed all morning."

He chuckled and began tickling her ribs, making her giggle harder. "Oh? Perhaps I should refresh your memory, then. Let's see if this helps brings it back to you." He rolled half on top of her, pushed her hair aside and began kissing her neck.

Her pulse leapt, but she managed to reply, "This? No ... I don't think this is familiar at all."

He pulled back and gave her a mock glare. "No? Well, perhaps this will help." He pushed her nightgown off one shoulder and began kissing along her collarbone.

This time, her voice quivered when she answered, trying to sound doubtful, "Maybe ... I'm just not sure... Maybe you should try something else." She could feel his erection growing against her thigh, and she shifted restlessly against him, desperately wanting to feel him inside her, but afraid to push lest he stop again.

He whispered, "Perhaps this will remind you, then." He unbuttoned her nightgown, pushing the sides apart and blazing a path with his mouth to her breasts. He laved first one, then the other with his tongue, sucking and licking until she forgot what they were talking about – forgot everything except the sensations in her body.

She heard herself moan as she tried to tug him more fully atop her. Thankfully, he settled right where she wanted him, and she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist. She felt his tip at her entrance, vaguely wondered where his pyjamas had gone, and then he groaned and whispered, "Say no, Hermione. Tell me to stop, before it's too late."

But she was too far gone to say anything except "Please ..." And apparently, that really was a magic word, because suddenly he was sliding forward, entering her waiting warmth.

He paused halfway in, then groaned again, said, "I'm sorry," and thrust forward until he was seated as deeply as he could go. She flinched at the slight twinge of pain that elicited, and he paused to ask, "All right?"

She nodded, unable to speak immediately as she adjusted to the strange, yet wonderful, feeling of their bodies connected so intimately. He remained still, watching her closely. After a moment, she whispered, "It feels so ... amazing."

He smiled then, looking as carefree and lighthearted as she had ever seen him. "Just wait – it gets better." And then, expression growing intent once more, he flexed his hips, just once.

Her eyes widened at the sensation that created. "Ohhhhhh," she sighed. He moved again, and this time, she reflexively squeezed her internal muscles in response. He kissed her and began to move in earnest. She quickly caught his rhythm, and they moved together. Her body tightened and tightened, until finally, a warm rush of pure pleasure washed over her, and she moaned her release. Moments later, finding his own release, he collapsed against her.

After a few seconds, he whispered, "I'm crushing you. Sorry." He rolled to his back, but she didn't let go, and they wound up in the reversed position, with her lying on top, still joined intimately to him. She rested her head on his chest, listening to the comforting sound of his heart beating beneath her ear.

Uncertain of his mood, she didn't know what to say. So she just lay there quietly, enjoying their closeness.

After a while, he said, "That wasn't supposed to happen." He didn't sound mad, though, which was a relief to Hermione.

She said lightly, "Well, I hope you're not going to apologize for the best experience I ever had in my life."

"No," he said seriously. "I should be sorry, perhaps, but I find I'm not." He ran his hands up her back. "It appears I'm more selfish than even I realized."

She lifted her head to look him in the eye. "It's not selfish when we both want the same thing." Her doubts of earlier that morning came rushing back. "Unless ..." she trailed off, not sure how to ask him.

"Unless ..." he prompted.

She didn't answer directly. Instead she looked away and asked softly, "What are we doing, Severus?"

He waited until she looked back at him. He said, "I should think it would be obvious."

She bit her lip, afraid to push, yet needing reassurance. "Maybe it is, to you. But ..." She paused again. "I guess I just don't know what this is to you. What I am to you."

He didn't answer immediately. He watched her, looking thoughtful. Eventually, he asked. "Do we really have to put a label on it?"

"A label?" she asked, feeling her anxiety grow. He wasn't answering, so maybe he thought she wouldn't like his answer. She tried to slide off him, but his arms tightened around her.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

She could feel tears trying to escape, but she was determined not to let him see her cry. She said, "It's getting late. I have to get cleaned up and get to Minerva's office. And you should probably get ready for class. You don't want your students getting the idea that it's acceptable to be late."

He frowned. "We're in the middle of a discussion, Hermione. You can't just leave."

"Well, I have to." She pushed herself off him, and this time he let her go. She pulled her nightgown back on, buttoning it hastily. "So we'll have to talk about this later." Or not, she thought, not sure anymore that she wanted to know what he thought about their relationship.

As she turned to head back to the fireplace, intending to get safely back to her own room before crying, he sat up and grabbed her hand. He pulled her back toward him and kissed her soundly. When he finally pulled back, he looked her straight in the eye and said, "Count on it."

Once again, she was at a loss. When she brought it up, he didn't seem to want to talk about it, but when she tried to make a graceful exit, he suddenly did.

As she arrived back in her room, she couldn't help but conclude that Severus Snape was the most contradictory, confusing person she had ever met.

After Hermione left, Severus lay in bed, trying to figure out what had happened. She had suddenly seemed upset, when just moments earlier, she had seemed blissfully happy. And she had started a conversation and then shut it down before he really said anything in response to her question.

When he couldn't figure out what had prompted her about-face, he decided there was no point in trying to figure out a confusing, contradictory woman. He would just have to ask her about it later.

And if she wouldn't tell him, he wasn't above breaking his promise not to use Legilimency on her anymore. There was only so long he was willing to tolerate having her upset with him without having any idea why.

Sighing, he glanced at the clock. Now he really needed to get moving, or his students really would have the unacceptable experience of seeing him arrive late to class.

He rose quickly, executed another quick Cleansing Charm, and made his way to his classroom. Considering his frustration with not knowing what had Hermione so upset, he was in a surprisingly tolerant mood.

At least, until he discovered the hard way that Colin Creevey had accidentally made an Exploding Elixir rather than the Fire Protection Potion he was supposed to be making.

Honestly, how did these dunderheads ever expect to become productive members of wizard society if they could make such first-year errors in their seventh year?