Chapter 6

Chapter 6

She wasn't at breakfast. Arriving late again, Severus glanced around the room, and strangely, although Hermione was not in sight, there were no empty chairs. Had someone rearranged the Great Hall?

Severus stood in the doorway for a moment, trying not to be worried about Hermione, which distracted him from the question of the chairs. He had never known Hermione to miss a meal unless she was sick – or in danger due to her foolish friends. Since her friends weren't here, and he hadn't heard of any trouble stirring, he assumed the latter was not the issue. But she might be sick. Worse, it might be his fault.

What if, in his distracted state yesterday, he had used the wrong ingredients and poisoned her?

Normally, he was confident of his abilities and his meticulous care in using the right ingredients, in the right way, for the right potions. But with his constant state of preoccupation with Hermione recently, he was no longer quite so sure that he was accurate with anything he was doing.

Turning abruptly, he decided to go check on her. He headed through the courtyard, toward faculty housing, forcing himself to walk briskly rather than run, and as he rounded a corner, he bumped into someone. A sense of déjà vu filled him as he glanced down to find Hermione in a heap at his feet once again. He sighed.

"Do you make a habit of knocking yourself over with everyone, Miss Granger? Or am I just special?"

She looked up at him for a full thirty seconds before she said, "Sorry, Professor Snape. I just woke up late and I was afraid I would miss breakfast. But where were you going?" She took his outstretched hand and let him pull her to her feet. Unfortunately, this put them in closer proximity than was strictly comfortable for him. And that made it difficult for him to think clearly.

"Oh," he said, momentarily at a loss for words. Finally, since he couldn't think of another remotely reasonable explanation, he admitted, "I didn't see you at breakfast, and I was concerned. You didn't take too much of the Dreamless Sleep Draught, did you?"

For some unfathomable reason, she seemed inordinately pleased with his answer. "You were coming to check on me? That's so sweet!" He scowled – he was many things, but 'sweet' certainly wasn't one of them. She seemed oblivious to his displeasure as she continued, "No, I just think I haven't had a good night's sleep in a while, so once the dreams were gone, my body took the chance to catch up, you know?"

His frown deepened. He decided to probe what she had meant by 'disturbing' dreams, by describing them a bit differently. "Exactly how long have you been having bad dreams? And why didn't you make yourself a draught? Or ask me for one?"

She blushed, staring into his eyes for a long moment. Finally, she glanced away and said, "Well, a couple of months, I guess, but they weren't exactly bad dreams – just – um, a little disturbing. And," she admitted in a chagrined tone, "it didn't occur to me to make or ask for a draught."

So, he thought, 'disturbing' but not 'bad'. That really did sound like the kind of disturbing dreams he had been having about her. Forcing his attention back to the conversation at hand, he asked, "But the draught worked properly last night?"

"Sorry?" she asked, and he wondered what she was thinking about that had her so distracted. Were her dreams that disturbing? "Oh, yes, thank you. It worked perfectly." But she frowned slightly, then abruptly changed the subject. "We should probably get to breakfast before we miss it completely."

"Of course," he said politely. He gestured for her to precede him, realizing as he did so that he was still holding her hand. He tried to let go casually, as if it were nothing to him to hold her hand or not.

But as soon as he let go, he felt the loss more acutely than he cared to admit.

What was happening to him?

Hermione hurried ahead of Severus to breakfast, while trying not to appear to be attempting to outrun him. If she wasn't seated when he looked her way, he wouldn't see the chair next to her, and that would be awfully hard to explain when he did see it moments later. At one point, he called after her, "You're in quite a hurry, Miss Granger."

He didn't sound annoyed, though, so she just called over her shoulder, "I'm hungry, Sev – Professor! I don't want to miss it!" Fortunately, he continued to follow at a sedate pace.

He was several steps behind her when she entered the Great Hall, and she was able to skid into a seat just as he got to the doorway. He glanced around quickly and joined her in his usual seat to her left, just as her waffles showed up. She sipped some pumpkin juice before digging in, willing her racing heart to slow down.

They ate in silence for awhile, and Hermione got lost in her thoughts. She should really reverse this spell, she thought – she had barely escaped discovery this time, and he was too smart to fail to notice something like that more than once. She was just lucky he had come looking for her.

Frowning thoughtfully, she wondered why he had done that. It almost seemed like he was worried about her – he had even said he was concerned. Did that mean he actually cared about her? Her heart leapt at the mere possibility, and she had to restrain herself to keep from asking him to say it again – I was concerned. Who knew three little words could mean so much to her?

She had told him the truth – the Dreamless Sleep Draught had worked exactly as it was supposed to, and she had had an uninterrupted night of sleep for the first time in months. What she hadn't said, though, was that it wasn't as satisfying as she had expected. She had woken late, but more than that, she had been sad and out of sorts because she had missed seeing her dream version of him. The one who smiled at her lovingly and lavished kisses all over her body, and hung on her every word and laughed with her all the time.

She had decided halfway through getting dressed that if she couldn't have any version of Severus in real life, she wasn't giving up the dream version that she could have in sleep. So, she would just have to go back to being tired all the time, because she wasn't taking that draught again.

Even if he had made it especially for her.

Abruptly, she realized she had been silent for several minutes, and he had been watching her curiously. "What?" she asked, suddenly self-conscious. "Do I have jam on my face?"

"No," he said simply. "You seem distracted."

"Oh," she said. "Maybe I'm not fully awake yet."

"Perhaps," he replied in a thoughtful tone, one that said he didn't think that was it, but he wasn't going to press her on it. She was surprised at his next question. "Are you coming by to try some potions today?"

"Oh, um, well, yes, if you're sure you don't mind," she replied, flustered. Maybe reversing her spell wouldn't reduce her time with him, after all.

"I wouldn't have offered if I minded," he pointed out coolly. "Shall I expect you after lunch?"

"Yes, although I'll have to check with Minerva to make sure she doesn't need me then."

"All right, then." He finished his meal and stood. "I'll see you at lunch." And then he was gone, leaving her staring after him, perplexed.

Severus brooded about Hermione all morning, taking a break only once to send an owl to Hogsmeade for the chocolate she would need for the potion he had observed her thinking about yesterday – he had all the other ingredients on hand already. When it arrived, he realized he had accidentally ordered significantly more than she would need for the potion, though, so he decided he would just let her have the excess as a treat.

He refused to admit to himself that that seemed an awful lot like a gift.

Specifically, like a gift that a man gave a woman he was interested in. It wasn't, not really. It wasn't his fault that he had ordered too much. And chocolate wasn't useful for very many potions, so he might as well give the excess away. That way, it wouldn't clutter up his lab unnecessarily.

He wondered yet again about the dreams she was finding 'disturbing', but not 'bad'. He tried to think about what kind of dream – besides the one he had already thought of – he might have that he would describe that way. Not dreams about the various battles he had been involved in over the years – those were disturbing, but also bad. For him, dreams in which he protected her annoying friends would fit the bill, but he didn't think that she would find those disturbing or bad. He faced facts: most of his disturbing dreams were also bad, and most of his non-bad dreams weren't disturbing, either.

Except the ones that had led him to start taking the Dreamless Sleep Draught himself.

Was it possible? It was just so difficult to imagine Hermione having that kind of dream about anyone. But he really couldn't imagine another kind of dream that she would describe that way.

He frowned, wondering again who she might be having erotic dreams about. Whoever it was certainly wasn't good enough for her. Even without knowing who it was, he was sure of that.

At least he was reasonably confident that it wasn't Potter or Weasley. Based on what he had seen yesterday, she thought of them as she would siblings, so she certainly wouldn't be having such dreams about them.

Who else might it be? he wondered, seriously displeased at the idea of Hermione having romantic – sexual – interest in anyone.

Well, he decided, he would just have to pay closer attention until he figured it out. And then he could help her realize that whoever the fool was, he was unworthy of her.

Satisfied with this plan for the time being, Severus glanced at the clock and realized he had wasted the entire morning. It was nearly time for lunch, so there was no point in starting anything now. He ignored the feeling of anticipation that came with the realization that he would see her again shortly, and that he would have the entire afternoon with her.

As he walked to the Great Hall, though, he couldn't help wondering when he had so thoroughly given up the idea of avoiding her that he was now actively seeking her company.

Pushing the thought aside, he headed into the hall and looked around. He was a little early, so there were a number of empty seats. Hermione wasn't present yet, but he nevertheless headed for their usual little corner, confident that she would join him when she arrived.

Sure enough, moments later, she approached, but strangely, she asked hesitantly, "Hello, Professor Snape. Do you mind if I join you?"

He frowned at her. "Of course not. Why would I suddenly mind? We've been eating together for nearly a week."

"Well," she stammered, looking uncomfortable and guilty, "I just thought, that first day, you weren't too happy about it, and I thought maybe since then, you were just being polite. Like maybe I forced you into it. You don't have to sit with me, you know."

"Yes, yes," he said testily, waving his hand impatiently. "You've said that before. Now, will you sit down before I injure my neck irreparably?"

"O-okay," she said, looking uncertain. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather be alone, Professor?"

"If I wanted to be alone, I would say so. What on earth has brought on this sudden ridiculous hesitancy? Have I done or said something to suggest that I don't desire your company?"

"Um, no," she said, then seemed not to know what to say.

"And another thing, Miss Granger," he said abruptly, then stopped. Was he really about to say this?

"Yes?" she asked carefully.

Apparently, he was. "Don't you think it's time you called me Severus? You're no longer a student." He couldn't keep the grumpiness out of his tone. It seemed that he was constantly doing things he had sworn never to do where Hermione was concerned.

"Um, sure, okay," she said, looking mystified. "Thanks." Then she added, cautiously, "But won't that sound a little odd if you're still calling me Miss Granger?"

"Well," he drawled with exaggerated patience, "I had thought perhaps I would call you Hermione. If that's acceptable."

"Oh, um, yes, sure, of course you can call me Hermione," she said.

"That's settled, then. Now, did you check with Minerva about this afternoon?"

"Y-yes. She said it's fine. She thinks it would be useful for me to learn more advanced potions – she says all knowledge is potentially useful, in the right circumstances."

"She is correct," Severus agreed. "In fact, I think perhaps we should plan regular times for you to come to practice in my labs."

"Are you – are you offering to tutor me?" she asked.

"No, I am not," he said clearly. "I am offering you the opportunity to use my lab to teach yourself new things from my new textbook. You may, however, ask for advice, consultation, and assistance at any time."

"O-okay," she stammered, but it was obvious she didn't see the distinction. And he obviously couldn't explain that if he were to tutor her, his feelings toward her would once again be completely inappropriate, but if he were offering advice and assistance to a colleague, he could feel any way he wanted.

Not that he was going to do anything about it.

Except, apparently, torture himself some more by not tutoring her.