A Very Thin Line by Livvy

A Very Thin Line by Livvy

Thanks: My deepest thanks and gratitude to beaweasley for her ideas and helping me along as I suffered to write comedy. Angst, I know. Comedy, not so good! So, she was a real inspiration! Not to mention a great beta! Also, my deepest thanks to WriterMerrin who is always so patient with my many errors.

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When my card glowed yellow, I braced myself for the biggest day of my life! I was going to hold off until morning so that I could plan the perfect prank. Plus, those damn Weasleys placed a gag within a gag, so I now had to re-think my master plan. So, I went to bed early in order to be ready in the morning for my day of attack!

I woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next day, ready to face the bat in black. I whistled my way down Gryffindor tower all by my lonesome since I didn't want anyone to discover that I was to be the perpetrator of a great deal of deviant behavior this day. I cracked my wand upon the top of my head and Disillusioned myself once I reached the main stairway going down to the Great Hall. I walked across the way and slipped inside the door, which lead down into the dungeons.

First, I had to know what the wizard's schedule was. Sure, I could have done myself a favor and had this part done days ago. However, the git is as uneasy as a long-tailed kneazle in a room full of rocking chairs. It wouldn't be out of character for him to "mix it up" so no one could know where to find him or attempt to stalk him in order to assault him unawares...as I was planning!

I had to wait until an opportunity came to sneak inside Snape's office. I knew he was in there. I could hear the shuffling of papers and the scratching of a quill. I waited until he had opened the door to leave for breakfast and took a deep breath. With one swift movement, I mirrored his action by placing my back as close as possible to his, pivoting around him, and slipped inside the door just in time before it slammed in my face. I strode to his desk and found it immaculate. I carefully navigated my way through the complex structure of various sizes of parchments. I took my wand and levitated each neurotic pile, pushing each page apart and up to see where he kept his timetable.

With breakfast nearly shot, and each minute growing closer to his return, I tried to open the desk drawers with trepidation. Merlin only knew what disgusting curses and evil hexes he had placed on them. My patience was now at an end. I didn't care if he knew anyone had been in here or not. I needed to get on with things!

"Accio Snape's Schedule!" An explosion of the middle desk drawer forced me to dive for cover as the schedule, including his ledger of grades, sailed onto my stomach. I snatched it and, with my wand, turned each page with a blur. Finally! There it was.

I made a quick copy onto a spare bit of parchment I had brought with me for this very purpose. Too bad about the desk, though, I thought. But bloody hell... what a schedule!

Well, it's for a good cause, I thought as I returned the ledger into the blasted-open drawer and left the office.

***** *****

I made my way to breakfast, just in time to slip in quietly and melt into the sea of Gryffindor girls.

Bernise passed me a fixed plate of food.

"Ta," I said as I tucked in. "Okay, you lot, I will need a bit of assistance. For me to do this, I am going to need to know which of our Slytherin friends would be ideal choice to break into Snape's stores? I need Polyjuice Potion, and we all know he always keeps a vat of that shite in there." I shivered. " I don't even want to THINK about what he does with it!"

"Why do you need it?" asked Sally, confused.

I turned to her, irritated, and said, "Because I harbor a secret desire to look like Hagrid so I can finally fulfill my dream of shagging the Giant Squid!"

"Bit-chy," she muttered.

"Oh, you all know how shirty our little Mar gets when she hasn't had her kibble," sneered Austrina.

I snorted in my oatmeal.

"Okay," I said, now in a better mood after getting some "kibble" into my tummy. "I've got a two-fer."

"What?" they all asked.

"I got a two for one," I explained. "Get this...you all know about the rose petals at his feet all day long thing, right?"

They all nodded.

"Well, when my card activated, a prank within the prank popped up. I swear, If I EVER get my hands on those two fuckers, I'll kill 'em! I have to not only stalk the git, I have to follow him into the bathroom and ask him if he needs help..."

Beatrice and Bernise sprayed out their pumpkin juice at the same time.

"Will you two get a grip?" I snarled in disgust. "Pardon the pun, but that's not the bad news..."

"You gotta admit," interrupted Austrina. "That's pretty bad fuckin' news."

"Well," I continued, "I also have to ask him if he needs help holding it up."

Four Gryffindors looked at me like a bunch of stunned hippogriffs.

I sighed. This is going to be one long effing day!

"Come on," I prodded. "Give over. Who is the sneakiest of the sneaky?"

"Well," said Sally. "Emma is the most intelligent Slytherin, and she's always up for a good dare. If she were to ask for a harmless ingredient and instead got you the Polyjuice, it could work."

"Although," said Austrina, "Angharad is the bravest and boldest of them all. Emma could refuse simply because she doesn't want to get in trouble."

"Right, just my luck," I groused. "The Hermione Granger of Slytherin. I swear, I think the Sorting Hat has lost its touch."

"So who are you going to be?" Beatrise said with wide eyes.

"Well, that's where you lot come in. I need hair from someone he wouldn't expect: someone that would just scare the hell out of him OR someone that would backfire on him later. I actually like the second idea, myself," I said thoughtfully. I snapped my fingers. "Professor Sinistra!" I looked hopefully in Austrina's direction. She had Astronomy later that morning.

"Merlin, you are evil!" breathed Bernise.

Austrina snerked. "Okay," she said with a smirk playing around her lips. "I will get you your hair by lunchtime. This should make a very interesting part of the day."

***** *****

As I entered the Great Hall where a large portion of students were milling about before breaking away to class, I Disillusioned myself and cast a Sonorous Charm. I waited in an alcove that would ensure echoing, and just as Snape came out to walk us down to his dungeons, I blared out, "ALL HAIL, SEVERUS SNAPE! THE MIGHTY KING OF POTIONS!"

He stood frozen as his eyes darted around him. I aimed my wand and muttered "Dilabor Rosarius!" Rose petals shot out of my wand and landed in front of Professor Snape's feet. The Hall was full of titters, sniggering, and guffaws.

"Who did this?" Snape whispered quietly.

Everyone fell silent. I looked on from the alcove and Undisillusioned myself, slipping into the line of innocent-looking Gryffindors. He looked at the row of seventh-year Gryffindors, each one of us harboring faces of angels, with a distinct sneer.

We followed him silently and obediently down the spiral staircase that led into the Potions classroom. Now, I will admit, I am not the smartest witch in the world. I'm no scholar. But what I do know is how to aim and fire. I'm good at my wand-waving and am damn proud of it. I stepped back as far as I could and took aim. I cast the spell again, except this time, the roses didn't appear until they had fallen at his feet.

He stopped walking and glared at all of us. "I will ask one more time. WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?" he shouted, his voice reverberating in the stairwell.

"It's probably Peeves having a go at you, sir," said Catherine

Thadda girl! I thought happily.

He stormed off again, and I decided it would be prudent to wait a bit before striking again. I couldn't have him stroke out on me before the day was done, and that vein on his forehead was pulsating a bit too much for so early in the day.

As we milled inside, Snape hissed at me as I passed him, "I shall be keeping a close eye on you, Miss Black."

"Yes, sir," I replied, without my usual cheek, which I'm sure placed him off-kilter even more. I watched as Sally whispered covertly to Emma, and Austrina mouthed something to Angharad.

Potions just dragged on and on. Yet no one had gone to ask permission for the storeroom. I nudged Austrina and whispered, "Well?"

"Wait for it," she said quietly as she continued to work.

I saw Emma out of the corner of my eye. She was speaking with Snape, and he gave her a small, twisted smile. I smirked and shook my head as I worked on my potion. He is such a soft touch whenever it's a Slytherin!

After the potion had been procured and dispatched to me while Angharad distracted Snape with questions, I decided the time was ripe for one last poke at the bat.

He made his final walk around the room, saying, "Ten minutes are left. Place your samples on my desk and remember to label them!"

He walked down the main aisle way, and I sent another tuft of petals to land at his feet. He bent down to pick up a couple of the petals and placed them in a secret pocket in his many layered clothes.

"When I find out who has done this, I shall make sure that person is expelled," he spoke in a deathly whisper.

I gathered my sample and labeled it. I walked up the aisle and placed it on his desk. I was returning to my table when Snape halted me.

"You don't fool me for one second, Miss Black. When I find out that you have been the mastermind behind this, I will have you expelled," he said smoothly with a glint in his eye.

I was released and went back to my desk. The bell rang, and Austrina said, "Well, Mar, it's been real nice knowing you."

***** *****

I had my other classes to attend, so I enjoyed a nice break from "Snape-baiting." However, Gryffindor seventh-years have a lovely mid-morning break each day. The other girls were either studying or relaxing in the common room, but I skived off studying to ready myself for phase II of my plan.

"Okay," I whispered to the girls, "I'm off to go Snape-hunting!"

"Don't get expelled," Austrina said quietly as she worked on a paper for Astronomy.

I walked along, in my Disillusioned form and found him walking towards the staffroom. He looked in a right thunderous mood, and I cringed a bit, thinking about the blown-out desk in his office. At that moment, I saw Peeves humming along aimlessly high above Snape.

This is just too easy, I think.

BAM! A downpour of rose petals rained down on Snape. He looked up and shouted, "PEEVES!"

He took out his wand and hexed the poltergeist. Peeves tried to protest, but he had been silenced. Now, Snape had him stuck to the ceiling and unable to call for help.

Snape stood there and yelled at him, "You will remain there until I am sufficiently assured of either your guilt or innocence. I've always wanted to use you for one of my potions experiments. Think on that!"

He stalked into the staffroom, and I could hear his bellowing from the outside. Oh, man, he is mad as hell. Even I didn't want to stick around and enjoy the moment. I got out while the getting was good.

***** *****

I laid low until lunch and silently took my place amongst the others, but sat near the aisle way. If he came around the aisle, I'd have to blast him again with another bunch of roses. I was starting to get a bit nervous. I think I was starting to press my luck with this bit. I was growing antsy as I thought of the second half of the dare.

Carlie stomped over to our table and with a hand on her hip said, "All right, which one of you did it?" she asked with a smirk.

"Did what?" asked Bertrise.

"Blew the bloody hell out of Snape's office!" she hissed.

Heads went down, and I pursed my lips as I glared at each of their bowed heads. "Cowards!" I hissed.

I looked straight at Carlie and explained. "I had to. It was time for my dare."

"Have you completely lost your effing mind?" she asked me with her eyes boring into mine.

"Hells bells, Carlie!" I said angrily, just above a whisper. "What was I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, but every Slytherin is in the shitter. Snape's paranoia has skyrocketed, and now he thinks his whole house is out to get him!"

"Well, we've really been putting him through a lot, you realize. I'm just doing my dare...no more, no less."

Sally guffawed. "You are such a liar," she said as she laughed. "When it comes to Snape, you never do anything 'no more, no less!'"

I crossed my arms and waited for Carlie to continue.

"You are a breath away from expulsion. You have garnered the wrath of every Slytherin at Hogwarts. Pray tell, when shall this 'reign of terror' end?"

"Oh, later today, not much longer. In fact, I think you should inform your house that soon Snape will be off your backs and shall be preoccupied in something far more disturbing!" I told her with relish.

Carlie rolled her eyes and stalked off.

"So," Austrina said as she ate her crisps. "When shall Aurora make her appearance in Snape's loo?"

"I got it all figured out!" I said confidently. "Just wait for a nervous and bug-eyed Snape later at dinner."

"You watch it, Mar," Austrina warned. "Of all the women...why her? She's what...ten years older than Snape? And not to mention she is beautiful? How do you know she and Snape haven't already... you know!"

"Because if Snape had been getting any... you know, he'd be in a far, far better mood than he is now!" I snapped.

"Okay," agreed Austrina. "Suppose that were true. How do you know he hasn't been DYING for such a chance to shag her? You could find yourself at the receiving end of an amorous Snape!"

"Oh, gross," moaned Sally.

"Ugh!" said Bernise.

"See what you've done?" I told Austrina as I gestured to the other girls. "You've made them ill with your conjectures. Look, if I go in there as Filch, I will get shit-kicked. If I go in there as Pomona, there may be a momentary upside; he might scream like a girl. However, if I go in as the sultry Aurora Sinistra...then the potential for weeks of tension and gossip would be more than what I could ever hope for! It could mean the highlight of my whole career!"

"Of Snape-baiting?" interjected Sally.

"Well, yes," I answered, affronted. "After all, it is a family tradition."

"Just don't end up hoisted on your own petard, my dear," Austrina said with a smirk.

"Look," I said to everyone. "Sinistra is tall, black-haired, and pale. That's ME! I'm not about to screw around and turn myself into a person vastly different from myself...not to mention another gender. No one's going to say that I died and gave my all for the whacked and wicked Weasleys' Wizardly Wheezes!"

***** *****

I waited and kept my eye out, and after an eternity in the dungeons, I saw Snape head for the bathroom. I took the Polyjiuce hurriedly and waited painfully, willing it to work quickly. I rushed to transfigure my robes into something a bit alluring. I snuck into the loo and saw him at the urinal. I looked into the mirror and did a quick check. I looked perfect.

I walked in confidently and sidled up behind him.

"Hello, Severus," I whispered in his ear.

"What the..." he blustered as he turned around.

He let out a breath and resumed his... activity.

"Aurora, I have students down here...why are you staring at my penis?"

My eyes shot upward. I smiled and shrugged. "I thought maybe you needed or wanted someone to hold it for you," I said, trying to mimic her sultry voice.

In reality, I was just shocked at the enormity of its size! I'm no virgin, but if he's the norm... well... I've been getting the short end of the stick around the Wizarding world...so to speak.

He buttoned up and wwashed his hands. "Aurora, it's been a while. I had thought you had lost interest."

"No, Severus. Sometimes a witch just needs her space. You can understand that sentiment, correct?"

Snape gave me...or her...an appraising look. "So, you're not writing me off then?"

"Never, Severus," I replied softly.

He started to walk closer to me, and I stepped back with each advance. His hand went up my side, and I swallowed.

Damn you, Austrina! Why do you have to be right?

I found myself backed into a bathroom stall with his hands all over me, kissing and touching me intimately.

"Do you want me here?" he whispered softly in my ear as he started to pull up my robes. "I know how you like it dangerous."

"Uh, no," I whispered. "I just wanted to let you know that I was now free. Perhaps this weekend we can get together."

I tried to nicely extricate myself from his arms. He had a steel grip that made my efforts difficult. He finally released me, and I turned my head just enough to see that he was watching me as I walked calmly out. I waited in the ladies' until I had regained my true form. I transfigured back into my Gryffindor robes and slinked back upstairs. I got out my bag and looked at the card. The letters were glowing green. I had done it. Oh, boy, but what have I done? I thought to myself.

***** *****

I met the girls at dinner and showed them my card with the pretty letters all glowing green.

"So," said Austrina. "You seem to be all back together again. All's well that ends well?"

"Something like that," I muttered.

I kept my head down and concentrated on my food for the rest of dinner. Later that evening, Austrina came in and found me sitting on my bed cross-legged in my silk pajamas, staring at the glowing green letters on my card.

"You know," she said as she started to turn her bed sheets down. "I was told once that there is a thin line between love and hate."

I had placed my card behind my back as soon as noticed her looking at me. "I don't know what you're talking about!" I said as I stretched out on my bed with my nose in the air.

"Oh, I think you do. Your usual bragging and boasting over how you've gotten Snape's goat was absent from tonight's discussion. I'm confused...especially after all you went through to ensure the highlight of your twilight career of 'Snape-baiting.'"

"It went fine," I tried to say lightly. "It just didn't go as exactly as I had hoped, so I am a bit disappointed. But, the letters on my card turned green, so I did my bit. We just have to wait to see if there are any fireworks later."

"Oh, I'm sure there will be," Austrina said as she took a nail file out of her nightstand and started filing her nails. "Especially after tonight, when I passed Snape and Sinistra talking in the garden."

"What!" I gasped as I sat upright in bed. "What happened?"

"Oh, nothing very important. She was talking to Snape about her lover is all."

"Her what?" I shrieked.

"Apparently, Professor Sinistra has a lover, and she is quite close to making a formal arrangement," she reported as she smiled knowingly. "So, what really happened this afternoon? You're still here and not packing, so I assume that you aren't expelled. So... what happened?"

I struggled to find my voice. "Nothing. I said what I needed to say, and he had a laugh. I was a bit confused, but it must have been a gag between them, so I went along as best as I could to complete the dare and then got the hell out of dodge," I said offhandedly.

"I see," she replied. "Well, just so you know, I didn't know she was a lesbian. I do like to take the mickey out of you, sometimes, but I wouldn't do anything like that."

"I know that," I said irritably.

I got under the covers and pulled the sheet around me. Dear Merlin, what have I done! But he doesn't know it was me. He can't! All he knows is some girl in the school did this. We've all been playing him. It'll be all right. He won't find out!

But I made a solemn promise to myself right then and there that I would never, ever tell a soul about what an incredible kisser Severus Snape was.

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And the fun continues...

Author's notes:

The original prompt is:

#29) Follow Snape wherever he goes... except the bathroom. Well if you must. But if you do, offer to help hold it for him.

And #30. Scatter rose petals in front of him wherever he goes.