Fern's Midnight Stroll by cocoachristy

Fern's Midnight Stroll by cocoachristy

A/N: Many, many thanks to Southern_Witch_69 for her awesome betaness!

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Fern lay in her bed and sighed heavily. It had been a very long and frustrating day. It was already past midnight, but it had taken her that long to finish both her Potions and Transfiguration essays.

Her only bright spot had been when Seamus Finnegan had smiled at her. She had the most desperate crush on him, though she was sure he wasn’t aware. One day, she thought dreamily, I just might get up the courage to let him know!

Just as she settled in, imagining herself snogging Seamus and began drifting off to sleep, she saw her card lying on the little stand by her bed, still glowing. “Bloody buggering hell!” she cried out. Throwing her covers aside, she jumped out of bed.

She’d completely forgotten that Snape was patrolling tonight. If I had remembered that, I would have been more prepared! she thought to herself as she frantically threw her robes on over her pajamas and then slipped her feet into her slippers. She’d known it was her turn before she’d come up to her room, for Merlin’s sake!

Taking a deep breath, she grabbed her card, put it in her pocket, and tiptoed down the stairs and into the common room. She loved her common room colors, yellow and black, the colors of her House. As she looked around, she noted that only a few other seventh years were still up. Good, she thought.

She’d almost made it to the door unnoticed when Justin called out to her. “Oi! Where do you think you’re going, Fern?”

“Er… Just a quick trip to the kitchens. I’ll be back straight away.”

“No, you can’t! Hufflepuff can’t afford to lose any more points, you know!” Justin sternly told her.

“Oh, no worries,” she tried to assure him. “I’ll keep a low profile. I’ll not be caught, I promise!”

“Why? Why do you need the kitchens at this late hour?”

“Well,” she rubbed her belly, “I’m terribly hungry, not having eaten any supper. I had to finish my essays and got caught up in the library. By the time I surfaced, supper was over.”

“Fern, Snape is patrolling tonight! You know nothing nor no one gets by him—”

“No worries!” she called again as she slipped out the door too quickly for him to stop her.

After taking a moment to calm herself, she began walking quietly down the hallway, watchful of any other professors patrolling. When she got caught, it had to be Snape who caught her.

She nearly choked when Mrs. Norris came meowing and sniffing

around her legs. “Shoo, you loathsome beast!” Fern hissed as she kicked at the cat. If Filch caught her now, she’d fail her dare! “Go on, now! Go!”

“Kitty, kitty, kitty,” she heard Filch murmur. “Where are you now, lovey? Mrs. Norris? Come now.”

“Go! Scoot!” she harshly whispered.

Mrs. Norris stood stubbornly staring at her for a moment and, then with her tail raised, sauntered off as if Fern was not worth a moment of her time.

“Where did you go? Did you see a student, my pet?” Filch asked her.

Mrs. Norris let out a very loud meow of annoyance and then turned in Fern’s direction.

Holding her breath, Fern quickly and as quietly as possible Disillusioned herself as Filch narrowed his eyes and looked in her direction. He stood there for what seemed like hours, but was only minutes, before turning abruptly and scurrying off.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Fern removed the spell. She stood where she was a moment to calm herself and then started for the kitchens once more.

Just as she rounded the corner, she almost walked into Professor McGonagall, who, thankfully, had her attention to the other side of the hall.

She quickly hid behind a suit of armor, once more holding her breath so that she’d not make a sound, not breathing again until McGonagall had walked past her.

Once she was in the clear, Fern wasted no time getting to the kitchens. Her lack of sleep and stress over assignments was causing her to be jumpy and nauseated. She wanted to get this over with—now!

Fern sighed with relief as soon as the pear came into sight. Just as she raised her hand to give it a tickle, she heard the menacing voice behind her that she’d been both wanting and fearing to hear at the same time.

“Out for a midnight stroll, Miss Freebush?”

“I… um… I was just, er…” Fern knew she was fumbling her sentence, but she was suddenly too scared to talk. He looked so tired and angry.

“Yes? You were just what?”

Taking a deep breath, Fern decided to get things over with and face the consequences. “Well, sir, you see, it’s that time of the month for me. You know, my period?” she asked as she waved her hands in a circle for emphasis.

Snape paled. “Yes, I know what—”

“Well, this month has been really, really bad! It’s been a right pain in the arse, let me tell you, what with these really bad cramps I’ve been having!”

“Miss Freebush!” Snape said, appalled. “There is no need for language such as that! As it is, I will be—”

“You wouldn’t happen to have any Midol in your stores, would you, sir? I know that there are potions for this sort of thing that Madam Pomfrey provides, but really, I think that Midol works much better! It not only eliminates the pain, but the symptoms too!

“That’s why I came down here, you know. My period makes me crave chocolate! I felt like I would die if I didn’t get some straight away! Anyhoo, would you happen to have any Midol, sir?” she finished with a big whoosh, as she had to take a deep breath.

Snape stood perfectly still, eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and first finger. “Are you quite finished with your pitiful explanation, Miss Freebush?”

Fern hung her head. Now that she’d actually finished rambling, she felt nervous and a little ashamed to be pulling pranks on this man who looked so worn and tired. “Yes, sir. I’m sorry.”

“Mmm. Sorry, are you? Well, let’s see how sorry you’ll be after I remove… ten points from Hufflepuff, and you serve two days detention with… I think Hagrid will suffice.”

Fern tried not to smile. He was hardly punishing her at all. Nodding enthusiastically, she simply said, “Yes, sir!”

“Oh, and one last thing, Miss Freebush. If you require Muggle products, I recommend you bring them from home and check them in with Madam Pomfrey upon arriving with them. This is, after all, a school for wizards and witches. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”

“Yes, sir. Perfectly. Thank you.”

He nodded. “You may go now.”

She didn’t need to be told twice! She nodded and walked quickly past him, not stopping anywhere until she reached her dorm room.

After undressing and getting into bed, she jotted a quick note to Domina, warning her that it was her turn and that she’d be on her guard.

Glad it was finally over, Fern laid down and went instantly to sleep. She slept better that night than she had in weeks!

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And the fun continues…

The prompt I followed was: - Ask him how he’s feeling. Proceed to go into a rant about how you’re on your period, and it’s a Grade-A pain in the ass because you have really bad cramps. Then ask him if he has any Midol.