Desperate for Detention by The Mistress Snape

Desperate for Detention by The Mistress Snape

Thanks to my loving husband for being my beta. Sadly, none of this is mine. But the idea, thanks beaweasley2 for planning the fun.

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I looked down at the card that glowed in my hand. My first dare. I read over the flowing print several times before what I was supposed to do finally sank into my brain. I couldn't help but groan as I realized I was probably going to have to give up my night for this one. I was going to get into so much trouble! Or, if Snape were in a generous mood, I'd just get sent to the psych ward at St. Mungo's. Maybe he'd go easy on me anyway, seeing as how I was a Slytherin after all.

"Okay, Emma, I'm going to need your help. You sit next to that Gryffindor, Drew Latham, in Advanced Potions, don't you?" She nodded, looking at me warily. "Just drop something in his cauldron when Snape's not looking. If I'm gonna pull this off, I've got to make Snape mad," I said, running through all the ways to accomplish my dare.

"What do you have to do?" Margarite Black asked, trying to sneak a peak at my card.

I cleared my throat and rolled my eyes. Then, I read the dare from the glowing card. "'Whenever Professor Snape begins to give out detentions in class, jump up and down, waving your arms wildly, while yelling, "Pick me, pick me!" Consequence for failure: Having the word coward written on your forehead in zits for an entire term.' Oh, God," I groaned. "I really hate Fred and George."

A giggle ran around the group. I could see Phyllis trying not to spew butterbeer across the game board as she laughed. Emma shook her head and smirked. "You're so gonna owe Drew big time."

The girls began joking about my sanity...although I was quick to point out that they were playing this damned game, too...at purposely causing trouble in Snape's class. Sleep began to creep up on us, and I felt the butterflies beginning to go berserk in my stomach. We began drifting off in twos and threes, and I made my way to a sleeping bag next to Margaret Pritchford.

It was hard to go to sleep that night. I was sure I had to be going crazy, willingly deciding to provoke Severus Snape. But, I didn't want to walk around school with the word coward written on my forehead for an entire term. I vaguely wondered if Hermione Granger had anything to do with this stupid game.

The next morning sped by, as time is wont to do when I was dreading something. The girls flashed encouraging smiles when we passed in the hallway, and Beatrice asked if I had my card in my pocket. That was the only way I'd know if I'd succeeded in fulfilling the dare, anyway. I told her that I did and to pass the word around that we'd meet in the Room of Requirement after dinner.

N.E.W.T. Potions was there before I was ready, and I was taking my seat beside a seventh-year Ravenclaw before I knew it. My heart was thudding against my ribs and my palms were sweating as the door slammed shut and Professor Snape stalked to the front of the room. He was flying between the desks, his wand grasped in his hand in a white-knuckle grip. Great, I thought, he's already pissed!

"Your instructions are on the board," he said, an edge in his voice. His wand twitched to the chalkboard where the directions for today's potion appeared. The wand flicked again, this time to the storage cupboard. "The ingredients you will not find in your kits may be found in there. You have one hour. You may begin."

The potion was testy. If everything wasn't added exactly right, the whole thing would turn into a useless pile of gunk. I could see Emma out of the corner of my eye and was terrified to see that she was holding a clump of dandelion root over Drew's cauldron. Did she realize what she was doing? If the potion didn't kill me, I'm sure Snape would. Drew was staring at the directions on the board, oblivious to what was going on around him. It was a good thing he never paid attention, or else this was never going to work. It was an even better thing that he was a Gryffindor, because that was sure to really send Snape into a tizzy.

Emma winked at me and dropped the root in Drew's cauldron. It hissed and popped, turning acid green and billowing thick, gray smoke. Drew sputtered and coughed as Snape nearly leapt from his desk and rushed to Drew's table, casting Bubble-head charms on us as he went. The bubble around his own head distorted his face, but it was easy to tell he was livid.

"What the hell have you done, Mr. Latham?" he hissed, towering over him and scowling. Professor Snape cast a cleansing charm on the green liquid in Drew's cauldron. Snape stared into the gunk, prodding the sludge aside with the end of a glass stirring rod. The blood rushed to his face when he saw the boiled dandelion root at the bottom of the cauldron. His eyes nearly bugged out and he clenched his teeth to keep from snarling. "You could have killed us all, you brainless fool!"

The cloud of smoke had disappeared, but there was a faint odor of burnt gym socks that permeated the room even with the Bubble-head charms. Snape was glaring at Drew with a look that spoke clearly of murder. He leaned over, clenching the edge of the desk with his long fingered hands. He was almost nose-to-nose with Drew when he spoke. "Detention, Mr. Latham. Tomorrow night in my office at six o'clock sharp. If you are one second late, you'll be cleaning cauldrons and pickling frog guts until you graduate!"

A group of sixth-year Slytherin boys at the front table started laughing at Drew's misfortune. There was a shocked look on his face as he tried to go back through what he'd done so wrong. I felt sorry for him, knowing it was all because of me that he was going to have to suffer detention. Me, and that stupid game. I'd make it up to him, but I didn't have time to think about how right now. Professor Snape turned with a hiss and stalked back up to the front of the room. Emma looked at me behind Drew's back, wagging her eyebrows as if to spur me on. I knew I'd never get another chance when Snape started in on the boys at the front table, issuing both of them a detention with Madam Hooch cleaning the school brooms.

"This is no laughing matter," Snape hissed, a look of disgust on his face. "If you think nearly killing the rest of your classmates is funny, you are welcome to join Mr. Latham in detention. Would anyone else like to join him?"

I felt the blood rush into my cheeks and my palms beginning to sweat again. I was glad my table was at the back of the classroom; at least I'd get a chance to run away before he got back to me. I drew a deep breath and began bouncing up and down on my stool. Snape's eyes were sweeping through the room when I started waving my arms over my head.

"Ooh, ooh," I hummed, determined to get this over with, no matter how embarrassing it became. I began wiggling my fingers and waving, trying to get his attention. God, I felt like an idiot. "Pick me, Professor! Pick me! Please, pick me!"

Snape's eyes froze on me as I continued to wave my arms like an idiot and plead with him to pick me, pick me, pick me! I knew I was blushing, both from the embarrassment and the sudden adrenaline rush, and the top button of my shirt was coming undone from all the bouncing. I'm sure that would draw his attention, too. His eyes got really big, and his mouth dropped open slightly. I'm sure no one ever asked for a detention like this before, let alone a girl bouncing so much there was no way he could miss her (even if he wasn't looking at her breasts!).

"What are you doing, Miss Cohen? Are you insane?" he sputtered, unsure of himself for the first time I could remember. I could tell he couldn't believe what was going on.

Maybe I was insane. Insane for agreeing to play this suicidal game, but I went on with it anyway. The look on his face and the adrenaline rushing through me was enough to keep me going. "No, sir," I said, pasting on an innocent smile and trying to make my eyes look sultry. He was a man after all; maybe appealing to his libido would shock him enough to not kill me. "I just really want a detention with you, sir. I'll clean cauldrons and pickle frog guts as long as you want, sir."

Professor Severus Snape, bastard bat of the dungeons, stood in front of the class, and his jaw actually dropped open for a split second before he ordered his features once more. His brows knit together as he folded his arms over his chest, shifting uneasily. "Nonsense, Miss Cohen. The fumes must have gotten to you. Go up to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey will give you something to clear your head."

I nodded, inwardly relieved that he had neither killed me nor given me detention. I gathered my things, thankful that my tablemate said she'd clean everything up for me. I was pretty sure Professor Snape wouldn't send someone after me, so I waited outside the door for class to be dismissed.

Drew Latham was the first one out the door, still looking confused. I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him off to the side. "Listen, Drew. I'm so sorry you got detention. Can I make it up to you?"

"It's not like it was your fault," he said with an impish grin. "But, yeah, sure."

I smiled, liking his gray eyes and tousled brown hair. "Meet me at the Three Broomsticks on the next Hogsmeade trip. We'll hang out."

Drew smiled back, nodded, and ran off to lunch. The rest of the class filed by, Emma the last one out the door. We walked up to the Great Hall, laughing at the memory. I pulled the card out of my pocket, relieved to see it glow green. I felt sorry for her, knowing her card would be glowing yellow any minute.

We reconvened in the Room of Requirement that night after dinner, slipping in the room in groups of twos and threes so Filch wouldn't catch us. Emma and I were still laughing at the memory of the look on Snape's face as we sat down on the cushions on the floor. Robin pulled out the game board and set it up in the middle of our circle. The orb that floated over the board glowed green as I lay my dare card face up in front of me. I tried to rush through the story of what happened, but Emma kept tossing in details I'd missed. We were both laughing again by the end of the story, although I stopped when she mentioned my "date" with Drew.

"Okay, okay," I said, picking up the glass of pumpkin juice the room provided in front of me. "You guys do realize that Snape will bust a vein before we're even halfway through this game, don't you?"

There was a round of giggles. None of these dares were harmful, unless you counted the Potions master's pride. I looked across the circle to where Emma sat, holding her card between her palms. "This one better be good," I mumbled. "I guess you're up, Emma."

And the fun continues...

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Author's Notes: