Sympathy and Sarcasm by Angel Mischa

Sympathy and Sarcasm by Angel Mischa

Thanks first and foremost must go to beaweasley2 and all the other lovely ladies who are joining me on this adventure! A close second, however, are all of you who read our little quests and make it worthwhile! I hope you enjoy. AM

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That yellow glow quietly hummed behind my eyelids for hours while I tried to get to sleep last night. I normally liked yellow...I'm a Hufflepuff, after all...but when my card had glowed yellow, I suddenly felt queasy. Now, as I took the last few steps down the staircase from my dormitory and into the common room, yellow scarves and hats and all sorts of other sundry yellow things I hadn't even noticed before assaulted me. Every single black blazon just reminded me of that Great Black Bat, and I had to keep myself from grimacing.

"There you are!" Fern cried out, leaping up from a chair across the common room and hurrying towards me. "What took you so long? It'll be afternoon before we get down to breakfast!"

It was Saturday, which was something of a relief. I didn't have classes with Snape, having fled the Potions dungeon as soon as I was able, but he was always around in the corridors more during weekdays. I wanted to... ease my way into completing my dare. Of course, I'd likely see Snape in the Great Hall at mealtimes, but what were the chances he'd look at me?

The very thought now made the idea seem even more likely, and I blanched and took a step away from Fern.

"Tracie," she said in a dangerous voice. "Come on! I said I'd wait for you, but Merlin, I'm famished!"

"I... I've just remembered an assignment... I really should be going to the library. No time for breakfast!" I tried to squeak, but Fern raised an eyebrow. She was a Hufflepuff, but she wasn't stupid.

"Don't worry, Snape's not going to be sitting there waiting for you to walk in to glare at you. You won't have to run up to the High Table and hug him in front of everyone...although that would be funny!"

"No, it wouldn't," I muttered, a little annoyed at her making fun of me, but she was right. I was being silly.

Fern, knowing she had won, linked her arm with mine now and began leading me out of the common room. "Your card's not even that bad, really. It's not as mortifying as mine is going to be, although I suppose you do have to touch him!"

I poked my tongue out at her amiably. "I suppose it'll be over fairly quickly, at least!" I said. "And even if he gives me detention, I doubt I'll have to clean out any cauldrons." Snape tended to only personally punish those who were in his class.

"You might get Filch, though!" Fern retorted with a certain amount of glee in her voice. I grimaced at this.

"I've got soooo much to do this weekend, though. I don't have time to spend hours cleaning the Trophy Room," I groaned.

"Oh, poor you," Fern replied with a smirk. We had reached the Great Hall now, and she steered me in the direction of our table. At least half our House was still at the table; Vera was there, sitting amongst several fourth-years, probably helping them with Herbology or Care of Magical Creatures, as usual. She turned to smile at us as we moved past her, one of her dark brown braids whirling out and almost flicking one of the fourth-years in the face. There was a fit of giggles and a muted apology, and we didn't stop to try and interrupt. Instead, we slid into a vacant space further down, opposite Marianne and Daniel, a clever sixth-year who had a quiet talent for Potions.

"There you two are!" he let out as Marianne murmured a quiet 'hello'.

"Sorry. Lazy-bones here took forever to get up." I turned to Fern to roll my eyes at her and caught her winking at Marianne. I supposed we were keeping quiet about our dares, at least when other people were around.

"Well, it's alright for some, but I have another foot to add to Monday's Potions assignment on mixing aconite and tarantula blood!" Daniel proclaimed, rising before we'd even sitting down. It was obvious he'd been sitting with Marianne politely while she finished her orange. Daniel was sweet, and I flashed him a smile as the other two girls bade him goodbye. If only he'd been good at Ancient Runes, rather than Potions, I was sure I'd have seen more of him.

"Last night was fun, wasn't it. It's your turn now then, Trace," Marianne said with a smile as she peeled off a single orange segment from the fruit and set to picking off the largest pieces of pith from its surface.

"She's already stressing about it!" Fern remarked. "Tell her not to worry so much, Marianne," she added as she reached out to grab the pumpkin juice jug by the handle. "Want some?" she asked, beginning to pour a cup for me before I'd even had a chance to answer.

Marianne and I exchanged smiles. "I'm anxious about mine too," she confessed, "but I've got ages to go yet. I think I'll be a wreck when my card finally glows yellow!"

"I know," I responded sympathetically. "It's almost put me off yellow altogether!"

"Well, it's not as bad as red," Fern retorted. "And you have to put up with the 'consequences'!" Marianne laughed nervously and popped the piece of fruit in her mouth so that she wouldn't have to try and make any sort of answer. I could tell the idea of a red card had been on her mind; maybe she was having second thoughts? I was too, but there was no way I was really going to throw in the towel. I just needed some toast and some scrambled eggs to steel myself!

***** *****

I'm just walking through the corridor. It just happens to be near the dungeon. That is all. I tell myself this reassuringly. I couldn't quite tell whether or not I was hoping to find Snape around each corner or not.

Not being a Slytherin, I wasn't entirely sure how to approach my dare. I would have preferred to not perform my dare in the Great Hall if I could absolutely help it. I had considered going to the library to try and find Angharad, who might have been able to fake some sort of reason to go to the Potions dungeon and thus get me swiftly to Snape to get my dare over with. I'd thought to try my own luck for a little while first. Of course, this meant prowling the corridor. A few younger Slytherins scurried past me, so I knew I was hovering on the Slytherins' territory. They were probably all heading to the library, too. Everyone seemed to be laden with work, and I knew that I should have been doing my Ancient Runes homework.

I stopped in the corridor and considered my options. If I wanted someone to try and take me into the Bat's lair, the Potions dungeon, Daniel sprang to mind. He would probably have been easier to find than Angharad, as he usually did all his work in the Hufflepuff common room. Still, I didn't really want to involve anyone else. This was a girls' night; a really long one, admittedly, but these dares were still a girls' only thing.

I continued on my little patrol of the dungeons. Rounding a corner, I ran into the one group of people who could definitely help me: Carlie, Emma, and Margaret. The grin on Carlie's face when she saw me told me instantly that she would be willing to help.

"Tracie! You better be down here looking for Snape. It's your turn," she said cheerfully, wagging a finger at me playfully.

"Well, if you fancy watching, do you think you'll be able to help me out?" I asked. "I've been racking my brains trying to figure out how to find him; just my luck that it's a Saturday!"

"Well, you know, I know just where he is," Emma declared triumphantly. "He just told me off five minutes ago for my robes being 'too crumpled'. I think he suspects that that Erection Enabler was something to do with me, you know," she added in a hiss, looking behind her a little anxiously. "He's been sniping and snapping at me for all sorts of stupid little things lately."

"I'm surprised he hasn't started taking points off Slytherins, yet!" Margaret added with a light chuckle, although I saw a little nervousness in her face. If Snape was this annoyed now, when we weren't even half-way through our 'game', I could only imagine how irritated he'd be when it was Margaret's turn...or Carlie's again! This could all work to my advantage, however, given my task.

"Well, where is he?"

"He stormed off into his private office. It's just down a side corridor, near the common room. Why, what have you got planned?" Emma asked, looking curious. The girls all knew my task, and they were obviously curious about how I was going to accomplish it.

I pulled a little grimace. I hated trying to navigate the dungeons. While it wasn't true that I always got lost, like the girls said, if I got in too deep, that is, if I got anywhere near the common room, I found myself getting hopelessly confused. "Well, if you three'll take me there, I'll show you what I'm going to do," I said, feeling a little more daring, now. It was easier to feel bold when I knew some of my girlfriends were behind me, even though they'd only be hiding around the corner and giggling.

Emma and Carlie exchanged looks while Margaret grinned in an excited-but-nervous sort of a way. "Well, as long as we're out of sight," Carlie said quickly. "I'm really not flavour of the month with Snape right now!" she continued, snorting a little.

Emma snorted too as she threaded her arm through mine and the three turned back the way they had came. "You know, Carlie, after that stunt you pulled... I've got to say, I'd be keeping out of his way, particularly as you've already got one more to go!"

Carlie sighed. "I know, I know. I get all the luck, eh? Do you think I peaked too soon?" We all laughed at this, and then, somehow, we had already reached our destination. The three Slytherin girls slowed to a stop, and I had to wonder how we could have been so close all along. It normally took me ages to find things in the dungeon! If I'd lurked around in the corridor for a while longer, I might have caught Snape himself stalking around, although this was infinitely better.

"So, it's just that door there. The second on your left," Emma said, lifting her arm to point half-heartedly. "The other one's just a store cupboard."

"Ah," I said, although that meant nothing to me. "Well, go on then, you three. You'd better go hide! I'm not quite sure what he'll do!"

For a second, all three gave me curious looks, and then they hurried back down the corridor. I could already see Emma's back beginning to shake in mirth, and I grinned to myself. Sure, this was scary, but I was glad to be entertaining my friends, and they were all doing the same for me!

I waited a few more seconds until I saw that the girls were well hidden around the corner, and then I turned, striding purposefully towards the second door on the left that Emma had indicated.

Taking a deep breath, I lifted my arm and then hesitated. This would require precision. I closed my eyes for a moment, and then let my half-closed fist fall onto the door. Once, twice, that's enough! Quickly, I leapt to the right, making sure I was moving in the opposite direction to my friends, and I spun on my toes about three yards down the corridor and began walking oh-so-casually back towards his door. I was about a yard and a half away when the door jerked open and Snape just stood there, looking highly irritated. I continued walking and said brightly, "Good morning, Professor Snape!"

The Potions master turned his head slowly to look at me.

"Miss Davis, what are you doing?" he snarled. I tried my best to look innocent.

"I don't know what you're talking about, sir."

He stared incredulously at me. Are you serious? his look seemed to say. "What are you doing in this corridor?" he questioned obliquely. He obviously thought that he was going to trick me into some sort of confession by 'logically' beating me down. Even Hufflepuffs know Snape's tricks.

"I'm just stretching my legs, sir. I just always seem to get lost in these dungeons. I don't know how you manage it, sir," I replied as calmly but deferentially as I could accomplish.

He glared again. "Some of us have a memory better than that of a goldfish, Miss Davis. How else can we explain that you have forgotten knocking on my door and interrupting me in my work?"

"Oh, sir, is that what happened?" I cried. "I wonder if it's Peeves who's tormenting you so?" I continued as if I were thinking aloud. "We've all heard about what happened in the staff meeting, sir. I'm so sorry. Why would anyone want to upset you?" I was beginning to ramble, but it wasn't important; I'd reached the end of my speech, and now it was time to pounce.

As I darted towards him, I had the horrifying image of what would happen if he quickly sidestepped the hug, letting me tumble to fall. Luckily, he was so dazed...maybe even embarrassed...by my rambling that he stood stock still as I wrapped my arms around his waist and nestled my head against his breastbone. For a terrifying moment, I thought he was going to return the hug, as I could see his arms rising, but then his hands clamped down on my shoulders, and he began to pry me off him.

"Sorry, sir," I gasped a little breathlessly as I lifted my eyes daringly to meet his. "I just thought you could use a hug!"

Snape stared at me for a minute, forgetting to even glare. "Miss Davis, I suggest you continue on your ramble and do not bother me again," he finally growled lowly.

I waited a beat to hear the words, 'Oh, and a hundred points from Hufflepuff,' but they never came. Instead, the door of Snape's office was abruptly slammed in my face, missing my nose by merely an inch. I flinched, leaping backwards, and then had to stuff my hands to my mouth as dazed laughter threatened to erupt from my lungs.

Turning, I dashed up the corridor to where I had left my friends. At the corner, I found them, slumped against the wall, their hands raised just like mine.

"Oh, Merlin," Emma gasped. "I think he actually believed your sympathy!"

"It's because she's a Hufflepuff," Margaret replied. "I would never have gotten away with a trick like that!"

I grinned a little now, flushed with both mirth and pride. I hadn't actually thought I'd be able to pull it off with such aplomb; I'd imagined my dare might be the disappointment of the group, but no. I couldn't wait to spread the word to the girls tonight.

"Come on, you guys!" I said, laughing after a moment as they started trying to clamber their way back up the wall into standing positions. "I need you lot to guide me out of this place before he thinks twice and comes to find me!"

Emma started laughing again. "You're right; come on. Snape doesn't have the memory of a goldfish! I think we'll be lucky if he ever forgets any of us after this game!"

***** *****

Word spread amongst the girls quickly about just how I'd completed my dare, and we all converged upon the Room of Requirement that night after dinner, sneaking in in dribs and drabs. It wouldn't have done for us all to leave the Hall en masse: that would certainly have tipped Snape off, and I'd caught him glaring at me at least once over dinner that night.

Emma and Margaret were the last to arrive, and they immediately insisted on a dramatic recounting of the story, even though they and Carlie had witnessed it and everyone else had already heard about. Bashfully, not thinking I could do justice to it, I insisted they tell the story from their point of view, jumping in to add other little details, like the fact that I'd thought he was going to hug me back.

"How did you manage to escape detention?" Robin muttered finally amidst all the appreciative laughter. "You might be the only person to survive hugging Snape unscathed!" Then she leapt up to grab the board game, and I pulled my dare card from my robe pocket. The letters upon it were glowing green, as they had been since that morning. That it was the Slytherin colour seemed sort of appropriate, given the game's nature.

"Okay, who's next?" Sadie finally demanded. I could tell she was getting a little impatient for her turn, but that was still a way away yet. We all looked to Margarite, who a little reluctantly pulled her card from her pocket now.

"I guess it's me..." she said a little hesitantly, and who could have blamed her. Snape was already in such a snit, performing a dare safely was getting increasingly difficult.

And the fun continues...

Author's notes:

Tracie Davis? you may ask. Who the hell is she? Well, although she never appeared in canon, someone rather similar, Tracey Davis did appear in JKR's early drafts, as a Slytherin in Draco and Harry's year. I have a peculiar love of Hufflepuffs, though, and yet I rarely write them... I thought it was time to give it a go, feigning some sort of canon compliance on the way!

The original prompt is: #15. The next time he glares at you, walk up to Snape and hug him. (200 Galleons says it freaks him out)