Snacking with Snape by themistresssnape

Snacking with Snape by The Mistress Snape

Thanks: My loving husband for being my beta and beaweasley2 for coming up with this zany idea!

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"Me? Again?" I grumbled, picking up the card that vibrated and glowed yellow on my bedside table. Bernice must have finished her dare. I stuffed the card in my pocket, wondering where we would meet up that night.

Austrina got to me before the others did, telling me where we'd be meeting after dinner. Well, at least I had another twenty-four hours before I had to go through with this dare. I was sure that this one would totally get me killed.

I listened to Bernice tell her story, nearly rolling with laughter as I thought of her going up to Snape and hugging him. I wish I'd have seen it, it would have been priceless. "So, I guess you're next, Carlie," she said, looking over at me.

I picked up the card and looked at it for the first time since I'd gotten it when we started this suicidal game. I read the flowing text and felt the blood drain from my face. "Oh, good Lord!" I mumbled, horrified. "Are you serious?"

"You have to do it, Carlie," Vera said. "Really, how bad can it be?"

"Shut up," I spat, staring at the provision and consequences of the dare. "I have to do this in front of everyone?!"

Jemima laughed and nudged me with her shoulder. "So what does it say?"

"'Go up to Professor Snape in front of everyone and ask him if he is a vampire. Offer to let him have a snack. Tell him that you are "prime, virgin (insert blood type)." Consequence for failure: Having the compulsion to sing sappy love songs to Snape every time you see him.' Where do they come up with this stuff?" I asked, staring into the orb that glowed yellow over the game board.

"So dinner tomorrow night is probably your best bet," Angharad and Sally said together.

Tomorrow was a Hogsmeade day, so everyone would be back in time for dinner in the Great Hall. Maybe I'd be able to screw up the courage for this one in that time.

The more I thought about this suicidal game, the more I realized we were all going to be Hogwarts legends if we survived. "Dinner tomorrow, it is then," I groaned.

I was distracted as we made our way back to our common rooms, moving in small packs to keep Mrs. Norris off our trail. Even though we weren't technically doing anything wrong, I was sure Filch wouldn't hesitate to throw us all in detention. Getting to sleep that night wasn't as bad as the first time I had to do a dare, but it was bad enough. I was sure I looked like crap when I woke up the next morning after too few hours of sleep. Poor Drew Latham, he would have to put up with me, distracted and fidgeting, all day today.

I was tempted to cheat and do my dare at breakfast since so many people would be gathered out in the entrance hall, waiting to be cleared to head down to the village. I could hear the other girls snickering at my discomfort as I fidgeted at the end of the Slytherin table. But I was out of luck. Snape didn't show up for breakfast since he was chaperoning the trip today.

Emma, Fern, and Tracey were waiting at the doors to the Great Hall as I made my way out to meet Drew by the front doors. They laughed and winked at me, clearly having too much fun at my expense. They followed us out onto the lawns and drank butterbeers with us at the Three Broomsticks. I felt so sorry for Drew, having to sit through all the jokes and stares as they dropped hints about my little episode that was planned for that night.

The end of the day came too quickly for me as I trudged up the lane back to the school. Drew walked a little ahead of me, uncomfortable with all the giggling. "Go on," Tracey whispered in my ear, pushing me forward with her hand.

"Listen, Drew, I'm sorry about today. They don't get out much," I said sarcastically, throwing a warning glance over my shoulder. Emma and Fern smiled innocently. "Maybe we can hang out again on the next trip. Or we could sit together at the match next weekend."

Drew smiled a crinkly smile and nodded, taking my hand. "Sure, I'd like that."

I said goodbye to Drew at the head of the Gryffindor table and trudged slowly toward the front of the Great Hall, feeling like the death march should be playing in the background. I sat at the end of the Slytherin table, as close to the staff table as I was willing to go. He was there, still wrapped up in his black cloak and scowling at his empty plate.

Sadie leaned over from the end of the Ravenclaw table. "Oh, go on, Carlie. What's the worst he can do, kill you?" She giggled and snapped me with her napkin.

I grinned back uneasily, then turned to look up at him. His skin was pale, especially when considered with his dark hair and clothes. He never smiled, not really anyway, so you could say he was trying to hide his fangs. That voice of his and those dark eyes were enough to make anyone...especially someone of the female disposition...do whatever he wanted. Time slipped by as I watched him, aware of the eyes of my friends on me. Dinner would be over soon, and I wasn't going to walk around bursting into cheesy love songs every time I saw him. Damned Weasley twins!

I took a deep breath and backed away from the table with my uneaten plate of food. My stomach was in knots as I nearly stumbled up to the staff table. None of the teachers were really paying any attention to me, for which I was grateful. Before I realized it, I was standing in front of Professor Snape and the usual roar of the Great Hall had faded to a faint whisper.

"Yes, Miss Cohen," he said quietly, eyeing me with suspicion. God, we had really put him through the ringer.

I just stood there, already feeling the compulsion to sing sprouting through me. "Um... I was wondering... um..."

"Spit it out, Miss Cohen. I have a bit of a headache just now." He looked paler than usual. I wanted to hug the poor man. I was going to throttle the Weasley's next time I went to Diagon Alley.

"I was wondering if you were hungry?"

"What?"

"Are you hungry, sir? You look like you could use a snack." He grumbled at the way our conversation had drawn the attention of the entire Hall. I could hear my friends snickering and felt the adrenaline start to rush through me again. I tried to smile.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Miss Cohen."

I pulled my brown hair over one shoulder, exposing my throat. I tried to smile seductively. "I know your secret, sir. And I don't mind, really."

He looked at me with a blank stare. He twisted his napkin in his fist until it looked like the threads were about to break. "What secret?"

"C'mon, sir," I said, trying to make my eyes sparkle the way women did in those Muggle romance films. "You haunt the dungeons, we hardly ever see you outside, and you're always so pale. We've studied vampires in Defense Against the Dark Arts. I'm no Hermione Granger, but I'm not stupid."

What blood there was in his face drained away. He couldn't believe this was happening to him in front of the entire school. They listened with rapt attention as they waited for me to say something else.

I leaned my elbows on the table in front of him, sure he could see down the front of my tank top. I was shameless. "Are you sure you don't want a snack, sir? I think you'd like me. I'm prime, virgin AB positive," I said smoothly, stressing the word virgin.

Professor Snape gasped at the audacity of it all. I could hear Catherine suppressing a guffaw and saw McGonagall muffle her chuckle in her napkin. I locked my eyes with Snape's, trying to stare him down. The adrenaline was pumping, and it felt pretty good.

"What is wrong with you girls lately?" he said in a stunned voice. He got up from the table, throwing an absent minded glance down my shirt, and swept off through the side door.

I turned around, stunned to see the entire student body staring at me with wide eyes. My friends continued laughing as I went back to my place at the Slytherin table and stuffed a boiled potato into my mouth.

"We'll meet at the oak by the lake at eight o'clock," I told Sadie as I leaned across the aisle. "Pass the word along."

The twilight sun was glittering off the water as we met by the lake. Beatrice set up the game board as I pulled my card from my pocket. The letters glowed green as I sat it face up in front of me. The orb over the game board did the same. And, even though everyone had been there, I had to relive the entire embarrassing event. No one could believe that he'd just walked out without saying anything else.

"Two down, Carlie," Margaret Pritchard said with a smile. "I bet Snape would have blown a gasket if you hadn't flashed him!"

"I didn't mean to," I said, ducking my head to avoid the blush rising in my cheeks. I looked across the circle as the orb glowed yellow, matching Tracey's card. "Oh, thank God. Well, guess you're up, Tracey."

And the fun continues...

Author's notes:

The original prompt is: Ask him if he's a vampire. Offer to let him snack. In front of everyone. Tell him your 'prime A virgin (insert your blood type).'