Experience
Chapter 10 of 34
Ariadne AWSHermione returns to Grimmauld Place, looking for answers. She does not expect to find Severus Snape. Best Fanon Het (Quill-to-Parchment, Round 2). Runner-up ~ Best HG/SS, 2006 OWL Awards.
Summary: A new cut and an old scar. Why Dumbledore trusted Severus. And... something else.
A/N: My obeisance, as always, to Luna305 (bloody brilliant beta and narrative continuity goddess) and Anastasia, for sending virtual kleenex. Chocolate Frog Snape Cards to both.
She stared at him. Is that a smile? No... it can't be...
It was.
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As they finished eating, Hermione decided that a dinner cooked by Severus Snape was a rather acceptable apology for his having blasted the furniture to bits. Regretting what she had to do next, she folded her napkin slowly. "Thank you. That was excellent."
He nodded, but tensed in anticipation of what was coming..
Tilting her head in apologetic acknowledgment, she said, "There's something you're not telling me."
"Many things."
"Something very specific. The symbols, Severus. They make sense, yet they don't. What is it you're not telling me about Lily?"
"You've deduced what happened at Hogwarts, yes?"
She nodded. "Enough of it."
A brief look of relief crossed his face, before it was replaced by something harder.
"You've pieced together what happened, then. Sixth Year."
She nodded.
He held out his hand to her across the table, drawing her gaze to his thumb. A new cut.
Why hasn't he healed... Oh. An old scar next to it.
Her eyebrows raised.
Still some surprises left, then. "No grand arcane ritual. It was... sentimental. Muggle."
"So she knew. That you're Half-Blood."
"Yes, she knew. She saw my Potions textbook often enough. And she enjoyed puzzles. She hoped I would have the courage to stand up to my Housemates. She believed I would. 'We're strong, Severus. Our blood is strong. I'll prove it to you.' A nick of her dagger, and...'" He looked past her, at the cold hearth behind her. "She was wrong. Not about her strength. About mine."
He was silent for a very long time.
Finally, he said, "Hermione, I assume you are familiar with my role in the prophecy?"
"As far as I know."
"Very well then." He stood, glancing at the window. Still misty. He frowned. "Somewhere more comfortable, I think." He waved his wand and the dishes cleared themselves.
By tacit agreement, they returned to the library. She started toward the table, but he waved her to a chair. Confused, she sat.
He steepled his fingers and started silently for a few moments.
Feeling time starting to slip, and anxious to conclude her calculations, she finally betrayed her impatience with a shift in her chair.
Sitting straighter, he began. "It is not a matter of not wanting to tell you you will find, I'm sure, that you already know. No, it is a question of deciding which matter to address first."
She drew her legs up underneath her, settling into the chair, and looked at him expectantly.
"Before I explain the symbols you will understand them and begin to see their implications before my explanations are finished, I'm sure " he looked away and muttered something.
"I'm sorry? I didn't hear."
"Could you, perhaps..." He Transfigured his chair so it was slightly wider.
Her eyebrows raised a fraction, then she joined him, a little uncertainly. Okay. Strange. He put his arm around her and drew her into the crook of his shoulder. Maybe not so... mmm... Focus, Granger; this is important.
Touching her seemed to free his voice. "I told you earlier that the power that ultimately took Dumbledore's life was the same power that saved Potter."
She nodded, "Blood magic." Her eyes widened. "Oh."
"No, that was all Lily. She was a mother then. That changes things." Very softly, he added, "But I was... implicated, regardless. Her passion to save her child. Her desperation. And her sacrifice." He closed his eyes and exhaled. Then he raised his eyes to hers. "As you noted so perceptively, I do not always say exactly what I mean."
Turning slightly, she looked at him questioningly.
"Did you never wonder why Albus trusted me?"
"Honestly? Yes. It was enough for me that he did, but I can't well " she gestured toward the table where her papers lay, and shrugged, half apologetically.
"Do not apologize for your curiosity, Hermione. Never. But especially not now." He held her more closely.
Even as she welcomed the protected feeling of his arm settling more solidly around her, it made her worry about what was coming next that made him do it.
"I know he trusted you. He had faith in you. That hasn't been enough for well, everyone else, not since... But I -" She tilted a chin, a small, fierce movement.
Distracted for a moment, he chuckled. "As you've proven, Hermione. And that's the crux of the matter proof. Dumbledore did not, as you say, trust me on faith alone. Although it would not have been unlike him to rely entirely on faith in most matters, do not mistake his faith for stupidity. In this matter, he, too, had proof."
"He knew about... about you and..."
"He knew about me and Lily, yes; he missed little from the Head Table. I refer, however, to a few years later."
She waited.
"The prophecy. You know I heard it."
"Yes."
"And," his voice tightened, "reported it."
She nodded.
"I didn't know, Hermione. I had no idea whose... executions I had just..." He drew his fist to his mouth and held it there, clenched.
She didn't move.
"I didn't know that she was expecting a child, or when. But I learned. And at first I was... I was still angry. But later, eventually... after too long..."
"You went to Dumbledore."
He nodded. "I went to Dumbledore, and he warned them. Lily and - and the Longbottoms. I had expected to die, but he didn't turn me in. Instead, I turned spy."
She sifted the images in her memory and drew in her breath sharply. "You made an Unbreakable Vow with Dumbledore."
"Not with Dumbledore." His fist still at his mouth. "With Lily. With Lily... Potter." He lowered his hand and stared straight ahead.
Hermione stared at him. He's never called her that before.
"Dumbledore was our Bonder. Every day that he saw me alive, he knew not believed, knew - his trust in me was not misplaced."
A thousand questions tumbled through her mind, but she ignored them. "He had faith in you, just the same," she said, stubbornly.
"He was a problematic man."
"So when you said that the power that saved Harry was the same as the one that killed him..."
"It was, Hermione. That power was me."
He gave her a moment to let that sink in. Think, Hermione.
She knitted her brows. "The Quidditch game. His broom. You must have been watching him the entire time."
"I was speaking the counter-curse instantly. I hadn't even enough time to identify the source of the curse. Because I carry her blood in my veins, the Vow is more than voluntary."
"A compulsion."
He nodded.
Her eyes widened. "How horrible." Her eyes narrowed. "Severus... what, exactly, are the terms of that Vow?"
Very quietly, he replied, "To protect the child she then carried. To aid him in his mission, should he be the one prophesied to confront the Dark Lord. And, should he fail, to complete his mission for him."
Hermione drew in a sharp breath.
"Yes, Hermione, exactly. Exactly what Narcissa asked of me last year."
"You still loved her. Lily."
"Yes."
"But... wait. You can't complete this mission. Only Harry can."
A raised eyebrow. Good, Hermione... Now a little more...
She ran her hands into hair and pressed. "If Harry fails, you will have failed, and you will die."
"Yes, Hermione." A little more...
She looked up at him. "Another gift. So you wouldn't have to live under Voldemort, should he..." She shook her head, amazed. "Dumbledore may have been a genius, but Lily... She was..."
"Compassionate." And you, Hermione, are exceptional.
Oh. OH. Her eyes widened. "Passion, desperation, and sacrifice. And blood." Her tone was accusing. "All of them yours."
He nodded.
He did not do that. He didn't! She reached for his face and turned it toward her own a gesture of compassion, but more one of command. "Your sacrifice. You knew. You knew , because of the blood bond, it could be something more, something in addition to the Vow, and you... you..."
"I embraced it."
"A compulsion. For love. The inverse of the Dark Mark."
He couldn't escape her gaze.
"Love. The flip side of Voldemort's power. And you chose it you twisted it into a compulsion. You bound yourself. By blood magic. To the Vow."
"Yes."
She glared at him. "That was unbelievably medieval of you."
Medieval? He returned her gaze warily. But her expression was changing as he watched. That smile again.
"And selfish, and stupid, yes, definitely stupid, but mostly, most importantly, medieval."
He stared at her. That mind... He had no idea what she was going to do next.
She brought her hands to his face and held it firmly. "You, Severus Snape, are a bona fide idiot." She leaned in and brushed her lips against the corner of his mouth.
Breath... Warm... he thought, his eyes fluttering closed.
"And I think," she said, her lips a breath away from his, "that your medieval idiocy may have bought us exactly the chance we need."
He had no idea why his response to being called an "idiot" was to bury his hands in her hair and draw her to him, claiming her kiss, gently, insistently, lost in the feel of the weight of her head in his hands, his mouth moving firmly, possessively...
His only coherent thought was, Mine.
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Latest 25 Reviews for A Walking Shadow
230 Reviews | 5.53/10 Average
Such an amazing, complex story. Hate to see it unfinished, but maybe it will be someday. Faith, right? Thank you, for writing such beautiful tales..
Any chance you'll be able to finish this ? It's such a suspense story, just working up to the climax! I've enjoyed Tayet very much - you have a way with animals.
Response from Ariadne AWS (Author of A Walking Shadow)
...It was finished in '06; I've just not finished uploading it to this site; RL has utterly intervened in my time on fic archives. I think you might be able to find it if you poke around the internet. :)Thanks for reading!
Response from Ariadne AWS (Author of A Walking Shadow)
Hi,
oh this thin line between light and shadow, between earnesty and laughing about the irony, about the funny side of everything.
I am glad he still has his sense of humour.
yes, that woman is the road to hell, but she plasters it with lots of genious and wits and love and passion and fun and perfection.
one really feels how they deserver and need each other.
I like your Snape, may he be non-canon or not. He is adorable.
He was curious to learn about what the Mirror hat revealed her.
Interesting, how Molly took her death sencence.
Always worrying about her family, and now it is her she has to worry about. But it seems she doesn't, or does she?
She couldn’t deny the truth. “I still hate it,” she muttered.
“Good. Use that hatred, when the time comes,” he said. “It will keep you whole.”
I find his advice here very very good and not for nothing I am sure. He is really concerned about her staying whole. He is adorable. also to be seen when he explains about making unforgivables... It is always " am already bruised, so I will do it for you, he did it for Draco, he does it for Hermione, he is a good person indeed.
it's not done because it cannot be done."
Minerva looked at Dumbledore's portrait. "So naturally you had to try."
I love your sense of humour. makes the dark story lighter, more human more alive.
What a brilliant plan!! You are grand.
Let Pettigrew get imperioused, do the job, and 2 Horocruxes are done. great!!
I bet this works out! it sounds just soo clever.
"She seemed to scowl back"... that made me laugh!! Oh sodding Severus makes a big deal out of her trunk entering his bedroom or not. Her entering his real life or not.I can not quite follwo him here. he lives under the same roof with her. he spent a night in the hiding room with her. he shars his mind or her mind when entering there, he shares the knowledge ot her and his death and how and almost when. Where is the problem in sharing a room or a bed, porperly?I have no idea.he expains it with wait...his rigid sense of honour, his saftey net. all right o,k,. but, still, not so understanable. and then he let her choose. Why? she had already, hadn't she.Her responce : "I'd only hit you with it anyway " was rather taking the tenseness away. good idea. and much more natural than anyhting.And thank you thank you thank you for letting us peek at the soo necessary conversation between McGonagall and Dumbledore.tehe.He solved the problem of how to make her trust in Hermiones source without giving it away or giving to much information brilliantly. Trust her Arithmancy? well, if so, then you must only know, that it can only work with the correct information.Good idea of yours!!As so many others are and were.keep up the good job!!
Response from salvamea (Reviewer)
oh, and I agree with the other reviewer!! not being able to finish reading this WOULD be tragic!or anything like that.
What did he offer to put lower?
His hair?
What had happened? I must have missed quite a bit here.
But The Poenix Tears were healing or fixing someting, this much I know.
And Tayet is fully grown, this I also know.
You descirbe it all so marvellously. it is a real pleasure to read it.
Never blunt, or plump. always a little transcendent, like a little behind a veil, weaving your words in a poetical, philosophical way. very interesting.
thank you for sharing!
he let Voldy bind Wormtail to him. Sounds clever. he is glad about it, so it must be of use for him.
Hermione wanted Wormtail, now she has him.
Still am in the dark about how that would help. But it MUST! please...
Their interrupted lovescene got even more intense after the new developements, it seems to me.. phew. quite a scene.
i wonder why she wanted him in these robes. Everyone would have expected her to be absolutely turned off, but no.
Maybe a chance to dis-charm the brutal character of the deatheater uniform.
What will he do about his new task? find her and bring her to me? he will do that? and when and how? and what will happen there and then?
awful.
I am glad I still can click on to the next chapter. But soon enough I will up to date, and then I will have to wait as patiently as ... Tayet for her feathers to grow?
You mentionted it would be some 30 more?
Happy as I am to hear that, I am also eager to hear that the next 30 will not last for 2 years? got a plan? anything?
the whole chapter was soo funny.
especially McGonnagalls reaction on finding out that Dumbledore was well aware of the going ons and awake for quite a while!! her being furious. I would love to hear THAT conversation!!
hope she gives him her piece of mind!! ha!
and seeing Severus so playfull, and right in the middel of a wonderful seduction HE the bloddy VOLDY comes to summon him. Bad timing.! But what would one expect of the person who has no heart, seven souls and none of them good.
bah.
And he is soo close ..shiver...
Your Tayet is just soo adorable.
How she reads the one persons thoughts and acts in their behalf. I love these scenes. touching.
Is she really just one day old? cant belive how much had happened in this very short time.
So many revellations.
Horrible, to know that you have to die, from the hands of someone you love, and that this willl be a gift too, and that all has to be in a certain timetable or connected to some progresses. awful. unbelievable.
They found the Trapping Spell. and he has to cast it. and either he kills her then, or he will die. also horrible.
She says they bloddy well are the main charactes in this story. well, I think they are both right.
Voldy and Harry on the front line, Hermione and Severus doing the mind-work in the back. both lethal.
I also like your Mrs Black, she is quite tamed now, and her Rommy - I want to know what is going on in the library - game... just sweet.
how sweet, Arthur wants to join his Molly in death. He is soo sweet.
I do so hope that he will not have to. and that she will not have to do this.
Hermione saying farewelll to her parents. what a bitter jounrey, a what she will call her last visit. bruta. so sad.
he has no one to say goodbye to.
Minverva is writing letters.
Hagrid? well, he will say good bye to G....
Molly has her family around.
Very touching scenes.
and Severus asking her to come home, oh so sweet.
Now please be quick, and show us what happens at 2 o'clock!!
please!!
What does he mean with his appearance.
have faith!
She worked that out already!!
And how dare he say anything about their "relationship" whatever it may be.
He is so mixed in it, the planner and plotter and everything.
grr.
At least he gave Severus his blessings. sort of.
And he made away with the awful thing hanging between them about his death and guilt or not guilt.
I liked that. Him thanking Severus.
That was the best about his visit, Ifeel.
ah, so they have to take the Horocrux itemst with them through the veil. But how does she mean that they don't have to die then? er?
coming back isn't possible, I thought?
Hagrid will have to kill Nagingi, did I get this right?
Hermione has to give Severus time to run, and when all is done, and Nagini dead, and Harry seperated form his Scar then
HE will KILL HERMIONE??
WHAT IS THAT!???
Why? what for?
Did he make an unbrakable Vow?
About her in person? or about the person he would find fit for the job. And with whom did he make the vow?
urgh, that is soo ugly.
This man!!!
poor Minerva, she took it like a really powerful strong Lady.
wow.
I don't understand. The deatheaters are trying to kill all those who could free or undo the horocruxes? But if they do,then the Horocuxes will be destroyd, I thought?
So it must be the way the people die, that destroys the Horocruxes?
Still in the dark about that.
And poor Hermione had to be veeery strong here. "In what position is he?" well, very often inside her .. mind...
nice chapter again.
It’s not actually impossible to lie about love to someone who has the evidence of your broken soul emblazoned over her heart, but it really is the height of bad taste.
I can't belive it!
He took her on the floor, then, when she cried these black tears? I didn't realise. oops.
and now he wants her love to be safed, but can not provide any love of his own. Tragic.
good hit, Hermione.
I am all caught up now, having somehow lost track of this story. The complications just suck the reader in, don't they? You have to work at understanding, but only because it's richly complicated and savoury. I do hope you come back and finish it.
I love your words are like slow drops of rain....wonderful!! Your Snaape already makes me cry....Alan Rickmans face as he is portraying Severus killing Dumbledore is one of the saddest scenes ever. you have beautifully captured the afetr effects...
I love it I already LOVE it!!
Now things really begin to heat up.
I know Tayet will play a crucial role (hopefully in keeping Hermione alive and/or healing Severus' torn soul that he be able to love again) before all this is done.
Brilliant idea to drop the Horcruxes through the veil. I hope Wormtail's prosthetic hand will be able to pierce it since it is not living flesh, only animated by Voldemort's magic and Wormtail's intent. I suppose intent is the key word here.
Wonderful update, I was beginning to wonder if I would get the chance to finish reading this beautifully written story, because not to would have been a tragedy.
I am completely in love with this story. Thanks for the wonderful update, I can't wait for more.
Phoenix magic is very powerful. :)
Very good, Love the new Phoenix. Looking forward to more.
I think this chapter is key to everything that follows. It's taken a while, but I think I get it. The inclusion of Hermanubis as a healer made the formula so perfect there could not be one name as a solution...it had to be both, but not either/or...it had to be you in the plural. But, because the whole is much greater than the sum of the parts, the prediction of death went up in flames and the phoenix was born. This inverted the passion, desperation, and sacrifice of the formula and its conclusion on the parchment into the faith, hope, and love represented in the phoenix. It is so perfect the way Tayet reflects both the light and the dark of Herminone and Severus combined. Severus' despair, but at the same time rejecting it by tearing off his many-buttoned frockcoat. The spontaneous appearance of both Hermione's and Severus' patronuses. Awe, playfulness, healing, and nurturing. Hermione going back to planning and researching, taking charge, and sending Severus to collect fireflys (nurturing). This is story telling at its best.
Funny, poignant, and a phoenix.
"I'm to stay here while I research. Um...uninterrupted....orders....I have orders."
"It's an acquired taste"...."Dark, bitter, enervating." Sounds a lot like "tall, dark, and brooding."
The agony of getting the formula to work and the wait.....almost unbearable.
The wonder of the birth of a new phoenix....beautiful
Funny, poignant, and a phoenix.
"I'm to stay here while I research. Um...uninterrupted....orders....I have orders."
"It's an acquired taste"...."Dark, bitter, enervating." Sounds a lot like "tall, dark, and brooding."
The agony of getting the formula to work and the wait.....almost unbearable.
The wonder of the birth of a new phoenix....beautiful