Into That Good Night
Chapter 31 of 34
Ariadne AWSHermione returns to Grimmauld Place, looking for answers. She does not expect to find Severus Snape. Best Fanon Het (Quill-to-Parchment, Round 2). Runner-up ~ Best HG/SS, 2006 OWL Awards.
Summary: A tale of two pillows.
A/N: The title of this chapter is taken from a Dylan Thomas poem. It's worth reading... Thanks, as always, to Anastasia and Luna305.
His eyes softened. He did not let go.
They went upstairs.
-------------------------
When they reached the third floor landing, Hermione looked at Severus. "Um... my trunk... I need to..."
He nodded, strangely formally. "Accio Hermione's trunk." He squeezed her hand and waited for the trunk.
She slipped into the bathroom at the end of the hall, and looked in the mirror.
She scarcely recognized the creature before her. Wild hair, knowledgeable eyes, and a small billowing cloud of darkness over her heart. She would not have believed it several days earlier. She was not sure she believed it now.
She gripped both sides of the cold porcelain sink and leaned her head over, breathing deeply. Oh, Granger. What have you gotten into...
An excellent question.
She was good at those.
She glanced at her eyes in the mirror, and then began a clinical appraisal. They were, undoubtedly, darker. Sharper. And deeper.
And her former Potions teacher was waiting for her.
Oh, dear.
At that moment, the former Potions teacher was in the hallway, casting an apprehensive eye over Hermione's trunk as it hovered innocuously, awaiting direction. Dammit, Snape, just do it.
But he could not. He could not, somehow, bring himself to levitate Hermione's trunk into his room in Harry Potter's house. His perfect execution of an intricate, improvisational masked dance on the tight-rope of truth that comprised his life as a spy was built on a rigid sense of honor it was his only safety net. He knew this, and he reveled in the sometimes agonizing friction between his honor and his cynicism the friction kept him sharp.
It also kept him from moving Hermione's trunk the final distance into his room.
He scowled at the inoffensive trunk. This didn't help. It didn't even really make him feel any better.
Tayet zoomed up the stairs and landed on the trunk, looking at him, amused. "Whirp," she suggested.
"That helps not at all, Tayet."
She rustled her wings and smirked at him. "Whirp," she insisted.
His scowl deepened. "Bloody conspiracy of one, you are."
She seemed to scowl back. Otherwise, she didn't dignify his statement with a response.
Hermione opened the bathroom door to discover Severus and Tayet apparently engaged in a scowling contest.
"Um... if I could perhaps... "
They turned to look at her.
"I well I need my toothbrush," she finished inanely, not quite sure what she had interrupted.
Tayet fluttered to the banister as Severus released the Wingardium spell on the trunk and turned toward the bedroom. He stopped at the door and reached for the handle, but did not turn around.
"Hermione," he asked, too calmly.
Her hand clenched around her toothbrush. "Yes?"
"Do you want this?"
"Do I... what?" she asked, startled.
"The reality."
She stood then, holding her toothbrush.
He heard her start to say something, but held out his hand.
More harshly than he intended, he began, "We all have choices, as you've so accurately noted. It is one thing, Hermione, to relinquish control in passion. Blood magic, sacrifice, and whatever she - " a gesture behind him toward Tayet, who was still perched on the railing " represents."
Hermione stood still, looking at his back.
"It is another matter altogether to make a choice while standing in a hallway, holding a toothbrush. There are many rooms, Hermione, and you have as much right to any of them as I have. More, actually. But I hope - " He swallowed. "I hope you will choose mine."
She stared at him, not knowing what to think, let alone say.
"It means something to me, Hermione," he said, quietly.
"Of course it does. It means your heart still works."
He turned and faced her, a low anger surfacing.
She held up her hand. "I meant that. Don't cheapen it."
He looked at her, and said, "You know I can't love you," putting a careful inflection on the word "can't."
She nodded, understanding. "I don't imagine you can, with a broken soul."
Tayet lamented her agreement.
Standing with one hand on the door handle, head held at an odd, self-deprecating angle, he said, "If - no, when I can, it may be too late."
"No."
Something snapped. "Hermione, you can't know - "
Something else snapped. "I don't have to know. I have faith. In me. In her. In you. And in us."
Tayet's humming changed key fuller, deeper.
"Go to bed, Severus. I'm going to brush my teeth, and I will join you in a moment."
But halfway down the hall, she paused, and he felt it. He stopped, halfway through the door.
Without turning around, keeping her voice low, she asked, "Would you?"
"If I could."
"Then if you would please get my trunk out of the hallway."
"Of course."
Satisfied, Tayet zoomed downstairs.
-------------------------
She appeared in the doorway.
He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.
She tried to hide the fact that her hands were shaking.
Neither was particularly successful.
He had turned down the covers for her.
She had left her hair down.
Both were exceptionally grateful.
He lifted the covers for her.
She couldn't not smile as she slipped under them.
His arm covered her shoulders.
After a moment, he asked, "Do you want another pillow?"
"No, thank you. This is good."
"Yes."
Neither dared to breathe.
After another moment, she said, "I'd only hit you with it anyway."
He chuckled. "Indeed."
They both started breathing again.
Drawing her close, he kissed her gently. "Goodnight, Hermione."
"Goodnight."
Neither closed their eyes.
"Pleasant dreams," she said, finally.
"Yes," he said, looking into her eyes. "They are."
-------------------------
In her private quarters, Minerva McGonagall finally asked the question she'd been worrying in her mind for far too long. "How could you have been so blind, Albus?"
"Minerva, as I told Harry, I was never omniscient, merely intelligent. My mistakes, when I made them, were proportional to my abilities."
"An enormous 'mistake' to trust Snape, Albus. One might be tempted to call it 'tragic.'"
He corrected her instantly. "My death was not tragic; just the inevitable result of a mistake of mine." He paused briefly. "For something to be truly tragic, Minerva, one must be torn between love and duty. I faced no such dilemma. I expect you to remember that." He looked at her as though she were once again a student, and not Headmistress of Hogwarts.
"Thank you for the Muggle Studies lecture." She fixed him with a sharp look. "Why have you been pretending to be asleep? I am in no way ready for..." she gestured. "I'm neither strategist nor philosopher, Albus. I cannot lead them the way you could."
"That is not for you to do, Minerva. It is for Harry. Soon. Sooner than you think. For him to succeed he must follow a path only he can choose."
A wry look. "So you allowed yourself to be killed oh, yes, Albus, I figured that much out; young Malfoy, disarm you? Please. You allowed yourself to be killed to fulfill your role in some Muggle paradigm, in which the white-bearded wizard must die in order for the young hero to... fulfill his destiny?"
Albus' eyes twinkled.
"I did pay attention in Muggle Studies, as you well know," she reminded him.
"Then it should come as no surprise that I did not awaken instantly as a portrait, nor that I will ask you to keep my alertness a secret from Harry and the rest of the Order for a while longer."
She sat, exasperated. "Really, Albus. How am I-"
He interrupted her, speaking sternly. "I ask no more of you than I've asked of others, Minerva. In fact, a good deal less. There are those who are preparing Harry's path water will always run downhill, Minerva, and there are those who even now are grading the terrain to see that it does. For you to reveal that I am awake could skew that path, and the results could be disastrous."
"Albus Dumbledore, you are a manipulative old coot."
"Rather," he agreed, unapologetically. "I find it more efficient than endless explanations." His tone lightened. "A stance you will come to appreciate when the Board of Governors meetings resume."
She glanced at him sharply. "When? Not if?"
"I believe so, Minerva. However, as you've had occasion to notice, I have been wrong before."
She was quiet for a moment, weighing the lightness of his tone against the enormity of his meaning. Finally, she sighed, but rallied enough to ask, "As you've not really answered any of my questions, should I even bother asking how Miss Granger fits in?"
Albus' face grew serious. "No."
Minerva's eyes flew to his. "And... her source?"
Albus said nothing. Minerva knew him well enough to realize he looked slightly worried.
Her eyes widened, the beginnings of alarm. "Her information, then? Can we trust it, Albus?"
"Do you trust her Arithmancy skills?" he countered.
"Implicitly."
"Her Arithmantic analysis would not work were it based on faulty information, Minerva."
Minerva felt a twinge of exasperation. This conversation seemed to be leading backwards, and yet its logical pattern was so familiar that her next words were not what she expected. "I miss you, Albus. I miss you terribly."
"You will join me up here eventually, Minerva hopefully not as soon as you expect to. Forgive me if I wish to seek to avoid hastening that eventuality."
A look passed between them, and, although her eyes glistened, she smiled slightly.
"Besides," Dumbledore continued, summoning a twinkle with a nearly invisible effort, only just visible, and only to Minerva. "Your language is quite... colorful, when dealing with owls from the Ministry. Pray, enlighten me how does one go about doing that with a haggis, exactly?"
Had Minerva McGonagall had a pillow and a slightly different temperament, she very well might have hit his portrait with it.
Instead, she merely said, "Really, Albus."
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Latest 25 Reviews for A Walking Shadow
230 Reviews | 5.53/10 Average
Such an amazing, complex story. Hate to see it unfinished, but maybe it will be someday. Faith, right? Thank you, for writing such beautiful tales..
Any chance you'll be able to finish this ? It's such a suspense story, just working up to the climax! I've enjoyed Tayet very much - you have a way with animals.
Response from Ariadne AWS (Author of A Walking Shadow)
...It was finished in '06; I've just not finished uploading it to this site; RL has utterly intervened in my time on fic archives. I think you might be able to find it if you poke around the internet. :)Thanks for reading!
Response from Ariadne AWS (Author of A Walking Shadow)
Hi,
oh this thin line between light and shadow, between earnesty and laughing about the irony, about the funny side of everything.
I am glad he still has his sense of humour.
yes, that woman is the road to hell, but she plasters it with lots of genious and wits and love and passion and fun and perfection.
one really feels how they deserver and need each other.
I like your Snape, may he be non-canon or not. He is adorable.
He was curious to learn about what the Mirror hat revealed her.
Interesting, how Molly took her death sencence.
Always worrying about her family, and now it is her she has to worry about. But it seems she doesn't, or does she?
She couldn’t deny the truth. “I still hate it,” she muttered.
“Good. Use that hatred, when the time comes,” he said. “It will keep you whole.”
I find his advice here very very good and not for nothing I am sure. He is really concerned about her staying whole. He is adorable. also to be seen when he explains about making unforgivables... It is always " am already bruised, so I will do it for you, he did it for Draco, he does it for Hermione, he is a good person indeed.
it's not done because it cannot be done."
Minerva looked at Dumbledore's portrait. "So naturally you had to try."
I love your sense of humour. makes the dark story lighter, more human more alive.
What a brilliant plan!! You are grand.
Let Pettigrew get imperioused, do the job, and 2 Horocruxes are done. great!!
I bet this works out! it sounds just soo clever.
"She seemed to scowl back"... that made me laugh!! Oh sodding Severus makes a big deal out of her trunk entering his bedroom or not. Her entering his real life or not.I can not quite follwo him here. he lives under the same roof with her. he spent a night in the hiding room with her. he shars his mind or her mind when entering there, he shares the knowledge ot her and his death and how and almost when. Where is the problem in sharing a room or a bed, porperly?I have no idea.he expains it with wait...his rigid sense of honour, his saftey net. all right o,k,. but, still, not so understanable. and then he let her choose. Why? she had already, hadn't she.Her responce : "I'd only hit you with it anyway " was rather taking the tenseness away. good idea. and much more natural than anyhting.And thank you thank you thank you for letting us peek at the soo necessary conversation between McGonagall and Dumbledore.tehe.He solved the problem of how to make her trust in Hermiones source without giving it away or giving to much information brilliantly. Trust her Arithmancy? well, if so, then you must only know, that it can only work with the correct information.Good idea of yours!!As so many others are and were.keep up the good job!!
Response from salvamea (Reviewer)
oh, and I agree with the other reviewer!! not being able to finish reading this WOULD be tragic!or anything like that.
What did he offer to put lower?
His hair?
What had happened? I must have missed quite a bit here.
But The Poenix Tears were healing or fixing someting, this much I know.
And Tayet is fully grown, this I also know.
You descirbe it all so marvellously. it is a real pleasure to read it.
Never blunt, or plump. always a little transcendent, like a little behind a veil, weaving your words in a poetical, philosophical way. very interesting.
thank you for sharing!
he let Voldy bind Wormtail to him. Sounds clever. he is glad about it, so it must be of use for him.
Hermione wanted Wormtail, now she has him.
Still am in the dark about how that would help. But it MUST! please...
Their interrupted lovescene got even more intense after the new developements, it seems to me.. phew. quite a scene.
i wonder why she wanted him in these robes. Everyone would have expected her to be absolutely turned off, but no.
Maybe a chance to dis-charm the brutal character of the deatheater uniform.
What will he do about his new task? find her and bring her to me? he will do that? and when and how? and what will happen there and then?
awful.
I am glad I still can click on to the next chapter. But soon enough I will up to date, and then I will have to wait as patiently as ... Tayet for her feathers to grow?
You mentionted it would be some 30 more?
Happy as I am to hear that, I am also eager to hear that the next 30 will not last for 2 years? got a plan? anything?
the whole chapter was soo funny.
especially McGonnagalls reaction on finding out that Dumbledore was well aware of the going ons and awake for quite a while!! her being furious. I would love to hear THAT conversation!!
hope she gives him her piece of mind!! ha!
and seeing Severus so playfull, and right in the middel of a wonderful seduction HE the bloddy VOLDY comes to summon him. Bad timing.! But what would one expect of the person who has no heart, seven souls and none of them good.
bah.
And he is soo close ..shiver...
Your Tayet is just soo adorable.
How she reads the one persons thoughts and acts in their behalf. I love these scenes. touching.
Is she really just one day old? cant belive how much had happened in this very short time.
So many revellations.
Horrible, to know that you have to die, from the hands of someone you love, and that this willl be a gift too, and that all has to be in a certain timetable or connected to some progresses. awful. unbelievable.
They found the Trapping Spell. and he has to cast it. and either he kills her then, or he will die. also horrible.
She says they bloddy well are the main charactes in this story. well, I think they are both right.
Voldy and Harry on the front line, Hermione and Severus doing the mind-work in the back. both lethal.
I also like your Mrs Black, she is quite tamed now, and her Rommy - I want to know what is going on in the library - game... just sweet.
how sweet, Arthur wants to join his Molly in death. He is soo sweet.
I do so hope that he will not have to. and that she will not have to do this.
Hermione saying farewelll to her parents. what a bitter jounrey, a what she will call her last visit. bruta. so sad.
he has no one to say goodbye to.
Minverva is writing letters.
Hagrid? well, he will say good bye to G....
Molly has her family around.
Very touching scenes.
and Severus asking her to come home, oh so sweet.
Now please be quick, and show us what happens at 2 o'clock!!
please!!
What does he mean with his appearance.
have faith!
She worked that out already!!
And how dare he say anything about their "relationship" whatever it may be.
He is so mixed in it, the planner and plotter and everything.
grr.
At least he gave Severus his blessings. sort of.
And he made away with the awful thing hanging between them about his death and guilt or not guilt.
I liked that. Him thanking Severus.
That was the best about his visit, Ifeel.
ah, so they have to take the Horocrux itemst with them through the veil. But how does she mean that they don't have to die then? er?
coming back isn't possible, I thought?
Hagrid will have to kill Nagingi, did I get this right?
Hermione has to give Severus time to run, and when all is done, and Nagini dead, and Harry seperated form his Scar then
HE will KILL HERMIONE??
WHAT IS THAT!???
Why? what for?
Did he make an unbrakable Vow?
About her in person? or about the person he would find fit for the job. And with whom did he make the vow?
urgh, that is soo ugly.
This man!!!
poor Minerva, she took it like a really powerful strong Lady.
wow.
I don't understand. The deatheaters are trying to kill all those who could free or undo the horocruxes? But if they do,then the Horocuxes will be destroyd, I thought?
So it must be the way the people die, that destroys the Horocruxes?
Still in the dark about that.
And poor Hermione had to be veeery strong here. "In what position is he?" well, very often inside her .. mind...
nice chapter again.
It’s not actually impossible to lie about love to someone who has the evidence of your broken soul emblazoned over her heart, but it really is the height of bad taste.
I can't belive it!
He took her on the floor, then, when she cried these black tears? I didn't realise. oops.
and now he wants her love to be safed, but can not provide any love of his own. Tragic.
good hit, Hermione.
I am all caught up now, having somehow lost track of this story. The complications just suck the reader in, don't they? You have to work at understanding, but only because it's richly complicated and savoury. I do hope you come back and finish it.
I love your words are like slow drops of rain....wonderful!! Your Snaape already makes me cry....Alan Rickmans face as he is portraying Severus killing Dumbledore is one of the saddest scenes ever. you have beautifully captured the afetr effects...
I love it I already LOVE it!!
Now things really begin to heat up.
I know Tayet will play a crucial role (hopefully in keeping Hermione alive and/or healing Severus' torn soul that he be able to love again) before all this is done.
Brilliant idea to drop the Horcruxes through the veil. I hope Wormtail's prosthetic hand will be able to pierce it since it is not living flesh, only animated by Voldemort's magic and Wormtail's intent. I suppose intent is the key word here.
Wonderful update, I was beginning to wonder if I would get the chance to finish reading this beautifully written story, because not to would have been a tragedy.
I am completely in love with this story. Thanks for the wonderful update, I can't wait for more.
Phoenix magic is very powerful. :)
Very good, Love the new Phoenix. Looking forward to more.
I think this chapter is key to everything that follows. It's taken a while, but I think I get it. The inclusion of Hermanubis as a healer made the formula so perfect there could not be one name as a solution...it had to be both, but not either/or...it had to be you in the plural. But, because the whole is much greater than the sum of the parts, the prediction of death went up in flames and the phoenix was born. This inverted the passion, desperation, and sacrifice of the formula and its conclusion on the parchment into the faith, hope, and love represented in the phoenix. It is so perfect the way Tayet reflects both the light and the dark of Herminone and Severus combined. Severus' despair, but at the same time rejecting it by tearing off his many-buttoned frockcoat. The spontaneous appearance of both Hermione's and Severus' patronuses. Awe, playfulness, healing, and nurturing. Hermione going back to planning and researching, taking charge, and sending Severus to collect fireflys (nurturing). This is story telling at its best.
Funny, poignant, and a phoenix.
"I'm to stay here while I research. Um...uninterrupted....orders....I have orders."
"It's an acquired taste"...."Dark, bitter, enervating." Sounds a lot like "tall, dark, and brooding."
The agony of getting the formula to work and the wait.....almost unbearable.
The wonder of the birth of a new phoenix....beautiful
Funny, poignant, and a phoenix.
"I'm to stay here while I research. Um...uninterrupted....orders....I have orders."
"It's an acquired taste"...."Dark, bitter, enervating." Sounds a lot like "tall, dark, and brooding."
The agony of getting the formula to work and the wait.....almost unbearable.
The wonder of the birth of a new phoenix....beautiful