A Patronus Can't Lie
Chapter 4 of 34
Ariadne AWSHermione returns to Grimmauld Place, looking for answers. She does not expect to find Severus Snape. Best Fanon Het (Quill-to-Parchment, Round 2). Runner-up ~ Best HG/SS, 2006 OWL Awards.
A/N: My usual gratitude to the divine Anastasia, a.k.a. She-Who-Raises-The-Stakes, and to Southern_Witch_69, who has generously agreed to beta this edition of the story!
4: A Patronus Can't Lie
Summary: Truths, Half-truths, Innuendo, and Buttons.
Arranging her features into a flawless imitation of his own, she sat, crossed her legs and looking for all the world like a medieval queen opened her arms. "Proceed."
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Gripping the wood he still held hidden in his hand, he continued, "Albus Dumbledore's death balanced the death of all living members of two generations of the Riddle family. This is blood magic old magic, Hermione, more powerful than you dare to imagine." Fearing what he might find, his eyes swept her face, already alight with her desire to know. She reminds... No. His voice deepening with urgency, he said, "It will find you; perhaps sooner than you anticipate. It is not a test you can study for. The magical power of blood ties is a mystery, Hermione, and not in the detective sense. It will never make sense. It is the opposite of sense. It is chaos." He shut his eyes, blocking out a memory. His voice emptier, almost hollow, he finished, "The power that ultimately took Dumbledore's life is the very power that saved Harry Potter."
"I don't understand."
He regarded her intently for several heartbeats. "You will."
She fought the urge to look away.
"When the headmaster destroyed the Horcrux, he guessed what was happening and came immediately to me. We had little time. We bought a little more." He closed his eyes, remembering.
Unbidden, a small note of triumph sounded in her mind. "You put a stopper in death."
"Temporarily."
"To buy him time to work with Harry."
"Yes."
She drew a breath to speak, but changed her mind. Instead, she stated, "Harry's still not ready."
Eyes narrowing, he nodded.
"And the headmaster's portrait isn't really sleeping," she continued.
He was still, his eyes completely alert.
"And I'm supposed to be listening. I'm sorry." She folded her hands in her lap and tilted her chin toward him, every inch the Head Girl she should have been. Your move, Severus Snape.
He blinked slowly. "We agreed that when the time came, I should be the one to release him."
"Kill him, you mean." Ouch. Not well done, Granger.
He regarded her clinically. "We could not prevent his death, Hermione, merely slow its progress. Despite all of our research, our experiments, he was dying, painfully, before our eyes. I said I released him. If you pay attention, you will realize that I always mean what I say."
"Yes, but you rarely say what you mean. If you are trying to tell me that you bear no moral responsibility for the headmaster's death, Severus, I'm afraid we see morality very differently."
He bristled. "I will not debate morality with you. Not on this issue."
Her eyes glittered dangerously.
Her expression unnerved him, but he pressed on. "I released him. From the slow agony of the Horcrux's curse, from certain torture by the Death Eaters or worse Greyback, and from watching the hopes he had unwittingly bartered his life for die with him."
"You killed him to protect him, then."
"Of course I did," he hissed. "And to protect young Mr. Malfoy. And your precious Potter."
Her heart grew louder. She did not quite dare ask what it had cost him, but she had to know. She had to at least try. She ventured, "A high price to pay."
"Relatively speaking, no. It scarcely matters." His instincts told him he was being measured, tested...
"It matters to me." Check.
His instincts betrayed him. His hand twitched toward the Phoenix brand, but he realized it was dormant. Hidden in the folds of his cloak, his other hand clenched the jagged chunk of wood, tacky with his drying blood and fresh sweat, forcing slow splinters into his palm.
Careful to keep her face a neutral mask, she thought, Check. Now, easy, Granger. You need your wand back. "And it matters to you. Your list of people you have had to harm to protect is short by at least one name. Yours."
He focused on the splinters. "And?"
"And you do nothing unintentionally. Even your silences have meanings. Painful ones, usually." She smiled and raised an eyebrow at him.
He found it profoundly disturbing.
Rising, she asked, "Tea? Pretending we're not debating morality is making me terribly thirsty."
He nodded mutely, relaxing his grip on the wood.
At the door, she turned. "Severus?"
"Yes?"
"Do I remind you of someone?" Checkmate. She left the room.
Severus Snape did not move. He opened his hand slowly, the wood's rough texture raking the splinters in his palm. A small pain makes a good distraction, if the other pain slices too deeply.
After a moment, he let the wood drop into the fire. He heard his blood hiss as it boiled in the flames.
*****
Once in the hallway, she leaned against the wall, trembling. Adrenalin rushing in her ears in a sudden flush of relief and something infinitely more complicated. Professor Dumbledore had definitely been a genius.
Breathe, Granger. Breathe... Oh, gods.
In branding Severus Snape's heart, Dumbledore had given anyone who paid close enough attention in other words, her a tremendous gift: Severus' "tell."
He mistakes his heart working properly as a signal from the brand. And it can only work here in this house.
Utter genius. Only someone who cared enough to look for it would find it. She hugged this knowledge close to her. She laughed. His hands. She closed her eyes and smiled.
Her laugh brought him out of the library. He stopped, captivated. Emotions and firelight played across her face.
"Is there something amusing you wish to... share?"
She opened her eyes.
"Or perhaps," his voice dropped to an enveloping murmur, "something more serious?"
Neither moved, the only sound the fire in the other room.
Finally, she spoke. "Both, it seems."
He waited.
Her eyes not leaving his, she reached out and ran a finger up his coat buttons. Soft. "Which button first, Severus?" She smiled wistfully. "There are so many. This one?" She slid her finger down a few. "Or... this one?" She glanced up at him.
He was still watching her face.
"Or..." Her finger reached the button at his waist. "This one?"
His eyes dropped to her finger.
They both thought, Please.
As her finger traced the outline of the button, she pressed her other hand gently on his face, lightly brushing it down his neck, smoothing it with firmer pressure down his chest, under his cloak, to his hip.
For one breathless heartbeat, neither moved.
He spoke roughly. "What game are you playing, Hermione?"
She smiled up at him and slowly closed her fingers around her wand, drawing it out of his pocket. "Which one? There are so many."
A low, throaty chuckle. "Forgive me, but " One hand closed around her wand hand, splinters scratching her skin, digging further into his. "If you turn me in, I will receive the Dementor's Kiss by morning. That is not the only kiss I have dreamed about, Hermione." He gently took her face in his hand, rubbing his thumb along her cheek.
Her breath came faster.
"I won't risk one for the other. No matter how tempting. Give me your wand."
Ignoring the stinging on her hand, nestling her cheek into his palm, she echoed his chuckle. "No."
Interesting. "We are at an impasse, it seems."
"Mm, not quite yet, I think." Her eyes twinkled briefly, then darkened. "Which button first, Severus?" She caressed his name with her voice.
He lowered his eyes, entranced.
She brushed her finger back up to the top button. "This one, I think. Best to start at the beginning." Hesitating only for a moment, she opened the button. "But as we don't have a week..."
His eyes fluttered shut.
She ran her fingers along the line where his white linen shirt met his throat. "...we'll have to hit the high points."
A low moan escaped his lips.
Gently she pressed her small hand around his throat. "I am not nearly strong enough to kill you with my bare hands, I know."
"Yes, Hermione," he said, roughly, "you are." His hand memorized the skin of her neck, brushing her earlobe. He ran his hand under her hair. So warm. He drew her closer.
"I'm not," she said simply. "I don't know how. And I won't know, unless you teach me."
He breathed into her hair.
She caught her breath. If he speaks this close to me, I will die. Just. Die.
"Hermione," he murmured.
Now I believe we are at an impasse. She closed her eyes and concentrated, poured everything she was feeling into her wand.
It glowed blue, and an otter the color of winter starlight shot out of it and bounded up Severus Snape's sleeve to sit on his shoulder.
He suddenly heard her voice in his mind, saying, "You can trust me. You don't have to it's your choice but you can."
He drew back, hissing, only to see the otter scamper to Hermione's shoulder to peek at him through her hair.
He reached for his heart, but Hermione curled her hand around his.
"Shhhh. I'm sorry." She spoke softly, but quickly. "You know a Patronus can't lie, Severus." She cocked her head slightly. "Although I do believe you frightened him a little. You sometimes have that effect."
"Your Patronus is an otter?!"
"Then again he might just be playing. It's difficult to tell for sure."
He released her wand hand.
She pocketed her wand, wincing a little when one of the splinters in her palm rubbed against the edge of her pocket. "I'm sorry for that, what I did just now.... If it hurt you. If I hurt you. Your feelings, I mean..."
"Hermione."
"I don't know... I'm no good at this, really, and... I was just going on instinct, basing my actions on..." she drew a deep breath, "what your reactions seemed to be. You can trust me. I know that. But to tell you, for you to believe me, I had to hurt you. Risk hurting you, anyway."
"Hermione," he repeated.
"In a way it's a compliment. More than just in a way I mean I really do pay attention."
"Hermione!"
"And I had to get my wa" she faltered.
"A Patronus can't lie."
Her cheeks flushed.
"Your message was that I could trust you, was it not?" He arched his eyebrow.
"But wh Oh." She blushed furiously. "OH. Then you... you know that it's true, then. What I was doing. Oh. Well." She squared her shoulders. "Yes."
Chuckling, he said, "The best lies are always based in truth."
She blushed harder, but flashed him a challenge. "Well?"
Her Patronus looked at Severus and scampered to the floor.
Strong hands grasped her shoulders, pulling her close. He wrapped her in his cloak, nestling his cheek in her hair. "Brilliant," he murmured into her ear.
She sighed.
He moved his mouth a little closer to her ear, lowering his voice. "But " he breathed.
Her hands tightened on his waist.
He inhaled sharply.
She turned her head and brushed her lips softly, swiftly, against his. "Scary?" she asked.
He growled, "Terrifying."
Her Patronus glowed brighter until, finally, the spell faded.
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Latest 25 Reviews for A Walking Shadow
230 Reviews | 5.53/10 Average
Such an amazing, complex story. Hate to see it unfinished, but maybe it will be someday. Faith, right? Thank you, for writing such beautiful tales..
Any chance you'll be able to finish this ? It's such a suspense story, just working up to the climax! I've enjoyed Tayet very much - you have a way with animals.
Response from Ariadne AWS (Author of A Walking Shadow)
...It was finished in '06; I've just not finished uploading it to this site; RL has utterly intervened in my time on fic archives. I think you might be able to find it if you poke around the internet. :)Thanks for reading!
Response from Ariadne AWS (Author of A Walking Shadow)
Hi,
oh this thin line between light and shadow, between earnesty and laughing about the irony, about the funny side of everything.
I am glad he still has his sense of humour.
yes, that woman is the road to hell, but she plasters it with lots of genious and wits and love and passion and fun and perfection.
one really feels how they deserver and need each other.
I like your Snape, may he be non-canon or not. He is adorable.
He was curious to learn about what the Mirror hat revealed her.
Interesting, how Molly took her death sencence.
Always worrying about her family, and now it is her she has to worry about. But it seems she doesn't, or does she?
She couldn’t deny the truth. “I still hate it,” she muttered.
“Good. Use that hatred, when the time comes,” he said. “It will keep you whole.”
I find his advice here very very good and not for nothing I am sure. He is really concerned about her staying whole. He is adorable. also to be seen when he explains about making unforgivables... It is always " am already bruised, so I will do it for you, he did it for Draco, he does it for Hermione, he is a good person indeed.
it's not done because it cannot be done."
Minerva looked at Dumbledore's portrait. "So naturally you had to try."
I love your sense of humour. makes the dark story lighter, more human more alive.
What a brilliant plan!! You are grand.
Let Pettigrew get imperioused, do the job, and 2 Horocruxes are done. great!!
I bet this works out! it sounds just soo clever.
"She seemed to scowl back"... that made me laugh!! Oh sodding Severus makes a big deal out of her trunk entering his bedroom or not. Her entering his real life or not.I can not quite follwo him here. he lives under the same roof with her. he spent a night in the hiding room with her. he shars his mind or her mind when entering there, he shares the knowledge ot her and his death and how and almost when. Where is the problem in sharing a room or a bed, porperly?I have no idea.he expains it with wait...his rigid sense of honour, his saftey net. all right o,k,. but, still, not so understanable. and then he let her choose. Why? she had already, hadn't she.Her responce : "I'd only hit you with it anyway " was rather taking the tenseness away. good idea. and much more natural than anyhting.And thank you thank you thank you for letting us peek at the soo necessary conversation between McGonagall and Dumbledore.tehe.He solved the problem of how to make her trust in Hermiones source without giving it away or giving to much information brilliantly. Trust her Arithmancy? well, if so, then you must only know, that it can only work with the correct information.Good idea of yours!!As so many others are and were.keep up the good job!!
Response from salvamea (Reviewer)
oh, and I agree with the other reviewer!! not being able to finish reading this WOULD be tragic!or anything like that.
What did he offer to put lower?
His hair?
What had happened? I must have missed quite a bit here.
But The Poenix Tears were healing or fixing someting, this much I know.
And Tayet is fully grown, this I also know.
You descirbe it all so marvellously. it is a real pleasure to read it.
Never blunt, or plump. always a little transcendent, like a little behind a veil, weaving your words in a poetical, philosophical way. very interesting.
thank you for sharing!
he let Voldy bind Wormtail to him. Sounds clever. he is glad about it, so it must be of use for him.
Hermione wanted Wormtail, now she has him.
Still am in the dark about how that would help. But it MUST! please...
Their interrupted lovescene got even more intense after the new developements, it seems to me.. phew. quite a scene.
i wonder why she wanted him in these robes. Everyone would have expected her to be absolutely turned off, but no.
Maybe a chance to dis-charm the brutal character of the deatheater uniform.
What will he do about his new task? find her and bring her to me? he will do that? and when and how? and what will happen there and then?
awful.
I am glad I still can click on to the next chapter. But soon enough I will up to date, and then I will have to wait as patiently as ... Tayet for her feathers to grow?
You mentionted it would be some 30 more?
Happy as I am to hear that, I am also eager to hear that the next 30 will not last for 2 years? got a plan? anything?
the whole chapter was soo funny.
especially McGonnagalls reaction on finding out that Dumbledore was well aware of the going ons and awake for quite a while!! her being furious. I would love to hear THAT conversation!!
hope she gives him her piece of mind!! ha!
and seeing Severus so playfull, and right in the middel of a wonderful seduction HE the bloddy VOLDY comes to summon him. Bad timing.! But what would one expect of the person who has no heart, seven souls and none of them good.
bah.
And he is soo close ..shiver...
Your Tayet is just soo adorable.
How she reads the one persons thoughts and acts in their behalf. I love these scenes. touching.
Is she really just one day old? cant belive how much had happened in this very short time.
So many revellations.
Horrible, to know that you have to die, from the hands of someone you love, and that this willl be a gift too, and that all has to be in a certain timetable or connected to some progresses. awful. unbelievable.
They found the Trapping Spell. and he has to cast it. and either he kills her then, or he will die. also horrible.
She says they bloddy well are the main charactes in this story. well, I think they are both right.
Voldy and Harry on the front line, Hermione and Severus doing the mind-work in the back. both lethal.
I also like your Mrs Black, she is quite tamed now, and her Rommy - I want to know what is going on in the library - game... just sweet.
how sweet, Arthur wants to join his Molly in death. He is soo sweet.
I do so hope that he will not have to. and that she will not have to do this.
Hermione saying farewelll to her parents. what a bitter jounrey, a what she will call her last visit. bruta. so sad.
he has no one to say goodbye to.
Minverva is writing letters.
Hagrid? well, he will say good bye to G....
Molly has her family around.
Very touching scenes.
and Severus asking her to come home, oh so sweet.
Now please be quick, and show us what happens at 2 o'clock!!
please!!
What does he mean with his appearance.
have faith!
She worked that out already!!
And how dare he say anything about their "relationship" whatever it may be.
He is so mixed in it, the planner and plotter and everything.
grr.
At least he gave Severus his blessings. sort of.
And he made away with the awful thing hanging between them about his death and guilt or not guilt.
I liked that. Him thanking Severus.
That was the best about his visit, Ifeel.
ah, so they have to take the Horocrux itemst with them through the veil. But how does she mean that they don't have to die then? er?
coming back isn't possible, I thought?
Hagrid will have to kill Nagingi, did I get this right?
Hermione has to give Severus time to run, and when all is done, and Nagini dead, and Harry seperated form his Scar then
HE will KILL HERMIONE??
WHAT IS THAT!???
Why? what for?
Did he make an unbrakable Vow?
About her in person? or about the person he would find fit for the job. And with whom did he make the vow?
urgh, that is soo ugly.
This man!!!
poor Minerva, she took it like a really powerful strong Lady.
wow.
I don't understand. The deatheaters are trying to kill all those who could free or undo the horocruxes? But if they do,then the Horocuxes will be destroyd, I thought?
So it must be the way the people die, that destroys the Horocruxes?
Still in the dark about that.
And poor Hermione had to be veeery strong here. "In what position is he?" well, very often inside her .. mind...
nice chapter again.
It’s not actually impossible to lie about love to someone who has the evidence of your broken soul emblazoned over her heart, but it really is the height of bad taste.
I can't belive it!
He took her on the floor, then, when she cried these black tears? I didn't realise. oops.
and now he wants her love to be safed, but can not provide any love of his own. Tragic.
good hit, Hermione.
I am all caught up now, having somehow lost track of this story. The complications just suck the reader in, don't they? You have to work at understanding, but only because it's richly complicated and savoury. I do hope you come back and finish it.
I love your words are like slow drops of rain....wonderful!! Your Snaape already makes me cry....Alan Rickmans face as he is portraying Severus killing Dumbledore is one of the saddest scenes ever. you have beautifully captured the afetr effects...
I love it I already LOVE it!!
Now things really begin to heat up.
I know Tayet will play a crucial role (hopefully in keeping Hermione alive and/or healing Severus' torn soul that he be able to love again) before all this is done.
Brilliant idea to drop the Horcruxes through the veil. I hope Wormtail's prosthetic hand will be able to pierce it since it is not living flesh, only animated by Voldemort's magic and Wormtail's intent. I suppose intent is the key word here.
Wonderful update, I was beginning to wonder if I would get the chance to finish reading this beautifully written story, because not to would have been a tragedy.
I am completely in love with this story. Thanks for the wonderful update, I can't wait for more.
Phoenix magic is very powerful. :)
Very good, Love the new Phoenix. Looking forward to more.
I think this chapter is key to everything that follows. It's taken a while, but I think I get it. The inclusion of Hermanubis as a healer made the formula so perfect there could not be one name as a solution...it had to be both, but not either/or...it had to be you in the plural. But, because the whole is much greater than the sum of the parts, the prediction of death went up in flames and the phoenix was born. This inverted the passion, desperation, and sacrifice of the formula and its conclusion on the parchment into the faith, hope, and love represented in the phoenix. It is so perfect the way Tayet reflects both the light and the dark of Herminone and Severus combined. Severus' despair, but at the same time rejecting it by tearing off his many-buttoned frockcoat. The spontaneous appearance of both Hermione's and Severus' patronuses. Awe, playfulness, healing, and nurturing. Hermione going back to planning and researching, taking charge, and sending Severus to collect fireflys (nurturing). This is story telling at its best.
Funny, poignant, and a phoenix.
"I'm to stay here while I research. Um...uninterrupted....orders....I have orders."
"It's an acquired taste"...."Dark, bitter, enervating." Sounds a lot like "tall, dark, and brooding."
The agony of getting the formula to work and the wait.....almost unbearable.
The wonder of the birth of a new phoenix....beautiful
Funny, poignant, and a phoenix.
"I'm to stay here while I research. Um...uninterrupted....orders....I have orders."
"It's an acquired taste"...."Dark, bitter, enervating." Sounds a lot like "tall, dark, and brooding."
The agony of getting the formula to work and the wait.....almost unbearable.
The wonder of the birth of a new phoenix....beautiful