Of Masks and Mirrors (I)
Chapter 12 of 34
Ariadne AWSHermione returns to Grimmauld Place, looking for answers. She does not expect to find Severus Snape. Best Fanon Het (Quill-to-Parchment, Round 2). Runner-up ~ Best HG/SS, 2006 OWL Awards.
A/N: Thanks to Melenka and Luna305. This chapter is dedicated to someone who will never read this story. Ah, humanity.
Summary: The parchment glows, and a hunger long-denied finally explodes.
2009: Special thanks to Lady Karelia for her ruthless eradication of commas in compound predicates! :)
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They watched as the ink eddied. Its progress was hypnotic. And inevitable.
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Hermione stood unblinking, watching the ink swirling, its color deepening, glowing, reflecting hazily on the polished table. She started as a hand touched her elbow and looked up to see Severus offering her a small flask.
"A Calming Draught," he said.
She waved it away. "I can't; I might need to -"
He ran his hand up her arm and rubbed it gently. "The calculations are perfect, Hermione. You can do no more with them tonight."
"But if something happens -"
"A modified version, Hermione; this will merely calm your mind, not impair your reflexes."
Her eyes flicked from the parchment to the potion. Finally, she sighed gratefully. "Thank you."
Taking the empty flask from her, he reached for her hand and drew her out of her chair. "Well done, Hermione."
An exhausted smile crossed her lips briefly, but it did not reach her eyes. He drew his cloak around them as if its darkness could protect her from what was happening on the parchment.
The glow emanating from it was changing from stormy indigo to a smoky violet.
He shut his eyes against it and rested his cheek on her hair, and she sighed again, a tired sigh, but her breath was smooth. The Draught was taking effect.
He stroked her hair softly, focusing all of his attention on the feel of it under his hand, between his fingers, rubbing it between thumb and forefinger, jarring one of the slivers of glass he'd not bothered to heal. The abrasion against the small cut heightened his awareness of the feel of all of her of her warmth, her weight in his arms. Tilting her chin up toward him, he saw dark circles under her eyes. Patience, Snape.
He led her away from the table, toward the fire. He sat in the Transfigured chair. "Come," he said, drawing her to sit next to him.
She leaned against him, her cheek on his chest, staring into the dying fire. It blurred before her, and she blinked. She caught her breath and closed her eyes.
He was sitting at an awkward angle, the chair arm digging into his back, but he did not move. Placing his palm on the side of her face, holding her against him gently, he said nothing, brushing his fingertips against her cheek, thinking.
The third condition of Lily's Vow, the one that guaranteed his death should the Dark Lord prevail, had been the act of a compassionate woman. Hermione's voluntary binding of her will to his liberation stemmed from a different impulse; one that he did not yet understand. He had loved Lily; who had, for a time, loved him. His feelings for her had been the imperative that severed and bound his life, his soul, filling an outward emptiness with an obscure but irresistible purpose. She with her love, her gift, her death, and her child had given shape to Severus Snape, given language to his thought, judgment to his decisions, and reason to his existence. He had long known he would serve his sentence, play out his allotted hour through the terms of his obligation to her, and find his release either as a sacrifice for a Horcrux or in a suicidal attack on a victorious Dark Lord.
That his death might be a sacrifice was the closest thing he'd known to hope; that it would otherwise be suicide, the closest thing to optimism.
Until now.
He leaned his head to Hermione's and kissed her hair, gently. He saw her eyelashes flutter and adjusted his position slightly.
"Hermione?"
"Hm?" She sounded sleepy.
"I believe I've ascertained what you meant by 'medieval.'"
Despite her exhaustion, she laughed softly. "10 points to Slytherin." Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes and smoothed her hair back. Studiously ignoring the glow from the parchment now a rather vile green, shading towards a rancid yellow she tilted her head and looked appraisingly at him.
"Severus, do you really hate Harry?" she asked quietly.
"No."
She arched her eyebrow skeptically and waited.
She's getting too good at that. "I hated his father."
"Obviously. I was speaking of Harry."
"Him, I fear."
"You fear Harry?" Oh, the irony. "Because you think he might fail?"
"No. If he fails, I have nothing to fear."
"If it's not that, then what is it?"
"Because he holds my life in his reckless hands."
She turned this over in her mind. "Severus... how absolute is the Compulsion? Is it triggered every time Harry's in danger or only when you're nearby?"
His voice measured, bitter, he said, "Every single time."
She eased herself out of the chair and went to stand, alert, by the fire.
"Did you never notice how 'convenient' all of my appearances were? His decision to go after the Stone have you ever heard of 'speed chess,' Hermione? Who found Potter and brought him to the Hospital Wing? I did. When he was in the Chamber of Secrets, I walked every corridor in Hogwarts for hours, in vain I could not find the entrance. The night in the Shrieking Shack, I was there in two heartbeats."
"But... he was in no danger from Sirius."
"Pettigrew," he spat.
She shut her mouth, eyes snapping.
"And every time I believed the condition bearable just, mind Potter would, in his sadistic ignorance, devise a way to increase my torment. I spent the Tournament year with an endless, pounding migraine, because only the great Harry Potter can put himself in mortal danger simply by procrastinating.
"The night the Dark Lord returned, I knew the stakes as soon as Potter touched the Cup. I knew, and there in the crowd, surrounded by children with large eyes and bigger mouths, I did not dare move for fear of betraying the larger purpose. To move a muscle would have resulted in my death, Hermione," he hissed, eyes smoldering, and he rose, a barely contained volcano.
His eyes were molten as he closed the distance between them. "Who alerted the Order to the Ministry, the next year? And the next - I know that Potter attacked Malfoy in self-defense. I felt Malfoy's intent to harm him almost before Malfoy himself did, and Potter's response followed, hard. I oversaw Potter's detentions personally in order to spare my own strength for what I knew - knew - was coming, and in short order. Parking Potter's arse in my dungeon was the only way I could get a break the only time I wasn't driven to agonized distraction by the Compulsion."
Gripping the mantle with both hands, he dropped his voice. His eyes glowed with manic intensity.
"And that final night, I knew where Dumbledore was taking him. And I waited. I sat, waiting. I sat, reading the book that that boy's dead mother had given me, an endlessly reverberating echo that refused to die. I waited. And waited... and then I knew, and I ran - Flitwick fell, a casualty of my haste. Blindly, from the dungeons. Blindly, through the castle. Blindly, through a battle in which all of the fallen were my comrades. And up the stairs,
"...and into silence....
"And all of my marks, my Vows, my Compulsion, all of what you blithely call my medieval constraints combined on that Tower into one moment, one act, one towering, inglorious sacrilege. I killed him because Narcissa's Vow compelled me to complete Draco's mission. I killed him because Lily's Vow compelled me to protect Harry have you figured that out yet, Hermione Granger? And I killed Albus Dumbledore because that's what a loyal Death Eater would do, given the chance."
The mantle splintered in his hands. He dropped his arms to his sides and stood glaring at the floor.
"The only thing that held my soul in my body was that the bonds were unified, Hermione. Otherwise, I would have fallen."
She looked at him for a moment, then repaired the mantle with a flick of her wand.
"Severus."
When he did not respond, she took a step closer, hooking a finger behind one of the buttons on her shirt. "Severus," she said more firmly.
He stood, unmoving.
"Severus," she yelled.
He flinched. Her voice echoed in the house which suddenly loomed, vast and empty, around them.
"Look at me."
He shook his head.
"Look at me," her voice blistered with command.
Out of the corner of his eye, through his hair, he risked one glance.
With one finger, she undid two of her buttons and pulled her shirt to expose the mark on her chest.
The ring of seven black pearl-sized dots was filling, from the center outward, with a small black roiling cloud.
His eyes glittered - empty, save for a terrible, patient hunger.
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Latest 25 Reviews for A Walking Shadow
230 Reviews | 5.53/10 Average
Such an amazing, complex story. Hate to see it unfinished, but maybe it will be someday. Faith, right? Thank you, for writing such beautiful tales..
Any chance you'll be able to finish this ? It's such a suspense story, just working up to the climax! I've enjoyed Tayet very much - you have a way with animals.
Response from Ariadne AWS (Author of A Walking Shadow)
...It was finished in '06; I've just not finished uploading it to this site; RL has utterly intervened in my time on fic archives. I think you might be able to find it if you poke around the internet. :)Thanks for reading!
Response from Ariadne AWS (Author of A Walking Shadow)
Hi,
oh this thin line between light and shadow, between earnesty and laughing about the irony, about the funny side of everything.
I am glad he still has his sense of humour.
yes, that woman is the road to hell, but she plasters it with lots of genious and wits and love and passion and fun and perfection.
one really feels how they deserver and need each other.
I like your Snape, may he be non-canon or not. He is adorable.
He was curious to learn about what the Mirror hat revealed her.
Interesting, how Molly took her death sencence.
Always worrying about her family, and now it is her she has to worry about. But it seems she doesn't, or does she?
She couldn’t deny the truth. “I still hate it,” she muttered.
“Good. Use that hatred, when the time comes,” he said. “It will keep you whole.”
I find his advice here very very good and not for nothing I am sure. He is really concerned about her staying whole. He is adorable. also to be seen when he explains about making unforgivables... It is always " am already bruised, so I will do it for you, he did it for Draco, he does it for Hermione, he is a good person indeed.
it's not done because it cannot be done."
Minerva looked at Dumbledore's portrait. "So naturally you had to try."
I love your sense of humour. makes the dark story lighter, more human more alive.
What a brilliant plan!! You are grand.
Let Pettigrew get imperioused, do the job, and 2 Horocruxes are done. great!!
I bet this works out! it sounds just soo clever.
"She seemed to scowl back"... that made me laugh!! Oh sodding Severus makes a big deal out of her trunk entering his bedroom or not. Her entering his real life or not.I can not quite follwo him here. he lives under the same roof with her. he spent a night in the hiding room with her. he shars his mind or her mind when entering there, he shares the knowledge ot her and his death and how and almost when. Where is the problem in sharing a room or a bed, porperly?I have no idea.he expains it with wait...his rigid sense of honour, his saftey net. all right o,k,. but, still, not so understanable. and then he let her choose. Why? she had already, hadn't she.Her responce : "I'd only hit you with it anyway " was rather taking the tenseness away. good idea. and much more natural than anyhting.And thank you thank you thank you for letting us peek at the soo necessary conversation between McGonagall and Dumbledore.tehe.He solved the problem of how to make her trust in Hermiones source without giving it away or giving to much information brilliantly. Trust her Arithmancy? well, if so, then you must only know, that it can only work with the correct information.Good idea of yours!!As so many others are and were.keep up the good job!!
Response from salvamea (Reviewer)
oh, and I agree with the other reviewer!! not being able to finish reading this WOULD be tragic!or anything like that.
What did he offer to put lower?
His hair?
What had happened? I must have missed quite a bit here.
But The Poenix Tears were healing or fixing someting, this much I know.
And Tayet is fully grown, this I also know.
You descirbe it all so marvellously. it is a real pleasure to read it.
Never blunt, or plump. always a little transcendent, like a little behind a veil, weaving your words in a poetical, philosophical way. very interesting.
thank you for sharing!
he let Voldy bind Wormtail to him. Sounds clever. he is glad about it, so it must be of use for him.
Hermione wanted Wormtail, now she has him.
Still am in the dark about how that would help. But it MUST! please...
Their interrupted lovescene got even more intense after the new developements, it seems to me.. phew. quite a scene.
i wonder why she wanted him in these robes. Everyone would have expected her to be absolutely turned off, but no.
Maybe a chance to dis-charm the brutal character of the deatheater uniform.
What will he do about his new task? find her and bring her to me? he will do that? and when and how? and what will happen there and then?
awful.
I am glad I still can click on to the next chapter. But soon enough I will up to date, and then I will have to wait as patiently as ... Tayet for her feathers to grow?
You mentionted it would be some 30 more?
Happy as I am to hear that, I am also eager to hear that the next 30 will not last for 2 years? got a plan? anything?
the whole chapter was soo funny.
especially McGonnagalls reaction on finding out that Dumbledore was well aware of the going ons and awake for quite a while!! her being furious. I would love to hear THAT conversation!!
hope she gives him her piece of mind!! ha!
and seeing Severus so playfull, and right in the middel of a wonderful seduction HE the bloddy VOLDY comes to summon him. Bad timing.! But what would one expect of the person who has no heart, seven souls and none of them good.
bah.
And he is soo close ..shiver...
Your Tayet is just soo adorable.
How she reads the one persons thoughts and acts in their behalf. I love these scenes. touching.
Is she really just one day old? cant belive how much had happened in this very short time.
So many revellations.
Horrible, to know that you have to die, from the hands of someone you love, and that this willl be a gift too, and that all has to be in a certain timetable or connected to some progresses. awful. unbelievable.
They found the Trapping Spell. and he has to cast it. and either he kills her then, or he will die. also horrible.
She says they bloddy well are the main charactes in this story. well, I think they are both right.
Voldy and Harry on the front line, Hermione and Severus doing the mind-work in the back. both lethal.
I also like your Mrs Black, she is quite tamed now, and her Rommy - I want to know what is going on in the library - game... just sweet.
how sweet, Arthur wants to join his Molly in death. He is soo sweet.
I do so hope that he will not have to. and that she will not have to do this.
Hermione saying farewelll to her parents. what a bitter jounrey, a what she will call her last visit. bruta. so sad.
he has no one to say goodbye to.
Minverva is writing letters.
Hagrid? well, he will say good bye to G....
Molly has her family around.
Very touching scenes.
and Severus asking her to come home, oh so sweet.
Now please be quick, and show us what happens at 2 o'clock!!
please!!
What does he mean with his appearance.
have faith!
She worked that out already!!
And how dare he say anything about their "relationship" whatever it may be.
He is so mixed in it, the planner and plotter and everything.
grr.
At least he gave Severus his blessings. sort of.
And he made away with the awful thing hanging between them about his death and guilt or not guilt.
I liked that. Him thanking Severus.
That was the best about his visit, Ifeel.
ah, so they have to take the Horocrux itemst with them through the veil. But how does she mean that they don't have to die then? er?
coming back isn't possible, I thought?
Hagrid will have to kill Nagingi, did I get this right?
Hermione has to give Severus time to run, and when all is done, and Nagini dead, and Harry seperated form his Scar then
HE will KILL HERMIONE??
WHAT IS THAT!???
Why? what for?
Did he make an unbrakable Vow?
About her in person? or about the person he would find fit for the job. And with whom did he make the vow?
urgh, that is soo ugly.
This man!!!
poor Minerva, she took it like a really powerful strong Lady.
wow.
I don't understand. The deatheaters are trying to kill all those who could free or undo the horocruxes? But if they do,then the Horocuxes will be destroyd, I thought?
So it must be the way the people die, that destroys the Horocruxes?
Still in the dark about that.
And poor Hermione had to be veeery strong here. "In what position is he?" well, very often inside her .. mind...
nice chapter again.
It’s not actually impossible to lie about love to someone who has the evidence of your broken soul emblazoned over her heart, but it really is the height of bad taste.
I can't belive it!
He took her on the floor, then, when she cried these black tears? I didn't realise. oops.
and now he wants her love to be safed, but can not provide any love of his own. Tragic.
good hit, Hermione.
I am all caught up now, having somehow lost track of this story. The complications just suck the reader in, don't they? You have to work at understanding, but only because it's richly complicated and savoury. I do hope you come back and finish it.
I love your words are like slow drops of rain....wonderful!! Your Snaape already makes me cry....Alan Rickmans face as he is portraying Severus killing Dumbledore is one of the saddest scenes ever. you have beautifully captured the afetr effects...
I love it I already LOVE it!!
Now things really begin to heat up.
I know Tayet will play a crucial role (hopefully in keeping Hermione alive and/or healing Severus' torn soul that he be able to love again) before all this is done.
Brilliant idea to drop the Horcruxes through the veil. I hope Wormtail's prosthetic hand will be able to pierce it since it is not living flesh, only animated by Voldemort's magic and Wormtail's intent. I suppose intent is the key word here.
Wonderful update, I was beginning to wonder if I would get the chance to finish reading this beautifully written story, because not to would have been a tragedy.
I am completely in love with this story. Thanks for the wonderful update, I can't wait for more.
Phoenix magic is very powerful. :)
Very good, Love the new Phoenix. Looking forward to more.
I think this chapter is key to everything that follows. It's taken a while, but I think I get it. The inclusion of Hermanubis as a healer made the formula so perfect there could not be one name as a solution...it had to be both, but not either/or...it had to be you in the plural. But, because the whole is much greater than the sum of the parts, the prediction of death went up in flames and the phoenix was born. This inverted the passion, desperation, and sacrifice of the formula and its conclusion on the parchment into the faith, hope, and love represented in the phoenix. It is so perfect the way Tayet reflects both the light and the dark of Herminone and Severus combined. Severus' despair, but at the same time rejecting it by tearing off his many-buttoned frockcoat. The spontaneous appearance of both Hermione's and Severus' patronuses. Awe, playfulness, healing, and nurturing. Hermione going back to planning and researching, taking charge, and sending Severus to collect fireflys (nurturing). This is story telling at its best.
Funny, poignant, and a phoenix.
"I'm to stay here while I research. Um...uninterrupted....orders....I have orders."
"It's an acquired taste"...."Dark, bitter, enervating." Sounds a lot like "tall, dark, and brooding."
The agony of getting the formula to work and the wait.....almost unbearable.
The wonder of the birth of a new phoenix....beautiful
Funny, poignant, and a phoenix.
"I'm to stay here while I research. Um...uninterrupted....orders....I have orders."
"It's an acquired taste"...."Dark, bitter, enervating." Sounds a lot like "tall, dark, and brooding."
The agony of getting the formula to work and the wait.....almost unbearable.
The wonder of the birth of a new phoenix....beautiful