Reciprocating

This is a story by the great Marisol, a German FF writer whose stories can be found at http://www.harrypotter-xperts.de/fanfiction?author=17037

Translated from German into English by Muggline

Disclaimer: Neither Marisol nor Muggline are making any money out of this. Everything you recognise belongs to J.K. Rowling.

A/N: Professor M Mc Gonagall greatly improved the orthography and punctuation of this chapter: thank you very much!

As a prologue to this chapter (which was posted on the German site a few days before Christmas 2008), Marisol wrote: "Dear readers - this story is finished now. There will be three more chapters and an epilogue, but I haven't had the nerve to post it until now because my mother has been diagnosed with heart problems. Thank you for your understanding. If you want to help me, pray for her improvement.

Merry Christmas to you all, and never forget about the importance of your families."

Chapter 30 – Reciprocating

"And... ahem, did you take a holiday?" Harry asked in what was supposed to be a casual tone but failed miserably. He handed Severus a glass of wine and sat down. One week ago, Severus had reappeared after his sudden disappearance, and Hermione had told Harry and Ginny what had transpired in her former teacher's garden.

Hermione was still angry. So angry she had refused to accept Harry's and Ginny's dinner invitation, knowing that Severus would be there, too. Her two friends understood her very well as they had been worried about him, too.

"Yes," came Severus's brief reply, and his gaze made clear that this would be all he was prepared to say on the matter.

The Potters had been surprised about the fact that he had accepted their invitation without further ado. Before they were able to ask him something, however, Albus Severus had monopolised his godfather right from the start. It had taken all of Ginny's remarkable persuasive talent to get her son away from Severus and convince him to go to bed.

"And where were you?"

Severus took a sip of his wine, then slowly placed the glass on the table and looked at Harry. "I was in Ireland," he said calmly. But Harry was not unaware of the pulsating vein in Severus's temple.

"Listen, I don't want to interrogate you," he stated tentatively, but Severus interrupted.

"Then don't!" he said peevishly.

"It's just... We've been worried, that's all. Of course you aren't obligated to inform us about every single step you take, it was just... As I said, we started worrying whether something had happened to you."

Harry knew that Hermione had said something along these lines one week before. Although they would probably never have an amicable relationship, the few weeks that Severus had been away had shown Harry that he really did take an interest in the dour man's life.

"Listen. I know that we'll probably never be the best of friends or anything. And that's all right with me, really. But you are my son's godfather, for goodness sake. And... You do matter to me, okay? You do matter to Ginny, too... and to Hermione. It was quite an unpleasant feeling to picture all kinds of things that could have happened to you – to be honest, it put a great strain on us."

If asked, Harry could not have said why he had spoken these thoughts out loud, but for some reason or another, he wanted Severus to know how he thought about him.

When he looked at the other man, hoping that Severus would be able to understand why everyone had been worried about his well-being, something happened. Something Harry had never seen in all the years he had known the solitary man he was facing. Severus looked the other way. It seemed as if, all of a sudden, he had been hit with the realisation that his behaviour had alienated the only people who cared about him.

When Ginny had finally put the children to bed, sat down again and piled a generous portion of turkey and potatoes on her plate, both their relief seemed to be almost tangible. Ginny grinned in Severus's direction. "I'm glad you came for dinner," she said casually and handed him the meat.

"It took ages for Albus to fall asleep. He was so excited about your visit and wanted to come back down again in the worst way. I had to dig deeply in my little box of tricks to get him to sleep and I had to promise him that you will be back soon to play with him. I... I hope that's all right with you?"

"Yes," Severus said without hesitation. "Of course."

They ate without talking, but the silence was not unpleasant at all. It seemed as if they were all caught up in their own thoughts, and when they had some more butterbeer after dinner, it occurred to Harry that Severus seemed to accept and understand for the first time that there were people who appreciated, welcomed and respected him just as he was.

sSsSsSs

Severus kept the promise he had given to Ginny and returned the following Sunday. It was a warm, sunny day, and he suggested that he take Al for a walk.

At first, Harry and Ginny were not so sure about it, but the moment they saw their boy put his hand in Severus's with a trusting smile, not turning around to look for them once, they knew they had done the right thing. Albus Severus was a rather shy, reserved child, and it was obvious that he liked being with Severus.

"I think I know why he disappeared all of a sudden and without a word," Ginny said, deep in thought, while she sat down on one of the garden chairs with Lily in her arms.

"Yes? Do tell," asked Harry while he sat down next to her.

"Because of this little one," Ginny said quietly and looked down to the peacefully slumbering baby.

"Because of Lily?"

"Yes. I guess he had to go away for a while. He had to come to terms with the fact that there is a human being named Lily Potter in this world again. Didn't you notice that he has not looked at her once since she's been born?"

"Well, yes," Harry said hesitatingly. "But I don't know... he doesn't care a lot about James either."

"Nevertheless... I think it all relates to this. I can imagine that the situation has brought everything up again."

"Maybe," Harry agreed with his wife. "But I don't think he will ever tell us."

They kept exchanging speculations for a while when they spotted a large eagle owl approaching. It perched down on the back of Harry's chair and let a letter it held in its beak drop into Harry's lap. "Who is it from?" Ginny asked curiously and bent towards her husband to spot the handwriting on the envelope, and just like Harry, she immediately recognised the sender.

"Harry, my father had a traffic accident and has been hospitalised. Things don't look good. Can you please come? I need you. Hermione."

She had scribbled the hospital's address on the back of the envelope.

"Oh my god," whispered Ginny with a frown and took the letter from Harry.

"Can you cope with the children on your own?" Harry asked after he had jumped up.

"Of course. Hurry!"

Harry took off his robes hastily as he knew that they would look quite awkward in a Muggle hospital. He thought about a spot near his destination he could Apparate to and had just disappeared with a loud pop when Severus returned with Albus on his arm.

"Something happened?" he asked when he saw Ginny's pale face.

She handed him Hermione's short missive without a word.

sSsSsSs

Harry returned one and a half hours later and ran his fingers through his hair in an exhausted gesture while he plopped down on the sofa next to Ginny. It came as no surprise to him that Severus was still there.

"And?" Ginny blurted out, observing him with a worried glance.

"Hermione's dad got hit by a drunken driver while crossing the street. He is very badly injured, but the doctors say that he's going to make it. However, he will have to stay in hospital for a very long time because he's got many very complicated fractures, and his liver seems to be torn, too. I did not see him myself, but Hermione says that he looks awful. Her mum is in a state of shock."

"Poor Hermione," Ginny whispered and squeezed Harry's hand.

"I was there while she talked to one of the doctors. He said that Mr. Granger was very lucky, but still... If I could only get a hold of this drunken bastard..." He clenched his fist and sighed in frustration. "I'm relieved, however, that his injuries are not life-threatening."

From the corner of his eye, Harry saw that Severus was observing him attentively.

"How's Hermione?" asked Ginny.

Harry shrugged. That was not a direct answer, but they still knew.

"I'll take the kids to the Burrow tomorrow and go visit her at the hospital," Ginny murmured.

"Hermione will stay the night, won't she?"

Harry nodded and looked at Severus, who got up slowly.

He had not said one single word.

sSsSsSs

"Everything's going to be all right, Mum," Hermione said and put an arm around her sobbing mother's shoulders.

With all the bandages on his person and the blood-crusted face, Thomas Granger did not look as if he would ever recover from all his injuries, but Hermione trusted the doctors who had assured them over and over again that he would be well again. Three days had passed since the accident, and Hermione's father had been awake every now and then but had never been able to talk to them.

But now he opened his eyes, blinked a few times and croaked, almost inaudibly, "Uncle Larry is in Moldavia, isn't he?"

Hermione's mother stopped sobbing, jumped up and bent down to her husband. "Thomas? Darling, can you hear me?"

"Yes... the light's so very harsh," he murmured. "Oh, and there's Melanie," he said, turning his head towards Hermione.

Melanie was the name of one of her cousins.

"Love, that's our Hermione. Don't you recognise her?" Jean asked anxiously while caressing his forehead.

"But of course..." he agreed with a moan. "Hermione... yes, yes, it's her. But where's Grandma Catherine?"

With panic rising in her chest, Hermione also bowed towards her father. Grandma Catherine had passed away when she was four years old.

"Jean, do you remember that horrid teacher of Hermione's... he was there last night and made me drink something... just like... just like... Australia in winter..." His words slurred more and more until they became a murmur, and his eyes closed again.

Hermione's mother anxiously pressed a button next to his bed, and only seconds later, a nurse appeared. Hermione and Mrs. Granger took turns in telling her what had happened, but the young woman reassured them at once and explained that these confused and incoherent sentences were a side-effect of the high doses of pain killers and perfectly normal. The doctor responsible for the treatment who came shortly afterwards also told them that there was no reason to worry.

The same night, while examining Mr. Granger, the doctors were very surprised to see that his injuries looked much better than they had expected. Later, Hermione was lying in her childhood bed at her parent's house, and things kept turning in her mind. She could not quite get a hold on something, but when she was just about to fall asleep, she remembered the words her father had murmured. Something about a horrid teacher of hers who had come and made him drink something... Suddenly, she was not so sure any more whether everything her father had said had been pure nonsense.

SsSsSsSs

Two weeks after Mr. Granger's accident, Hermione visited the Potters and was not surprised to meet Severus, who was playing with his godson in the garden.

"Hermione!" Ginny exclaimed. "Great of you to come over! How's your dad? When we visited him on Thursday, he looked quite well." Ginny and Harry both hugged Hermione and were satisfied to see a smile on her pale face.

"He's getting better every day," Hermione answered with a sidelong glance to Severus, who approached slowly.

"To be honest, his quick recovery is almost weird," she added.

"Hello, Hermione," Severus said calmly when he had reached the trio.

He held out his hand, and she took it after a short moment of hesitation.

"Hello, Severus."

"Erm... why don't we go inside? I'll make some tea," said Ginny and looked from one towards the other, but Hermione made a dismissive gesture.

"I don't have much time. I just wanted to inform you that Dad will probably get out of the hospital in about two weeks."

"Hey, that's great! I bet your mum's extremely relieved," Ginny said and hugged Hermione again.

"You can say that again. For the first few days, she didn't sleep a wink, but now she's very confident that all will be well and that there won't be any lasting damage."

She kept talking for a while, but then Hermione looked at her wristwatch and realised that she had to go.

"Erm, Severus, could I have a word, please?" she asked, well aware of her friends' gazes when they discreetly stepped away.

He stood with his usual, inscrutable gaze, but he nodded.

"Can we walk a few steps along the road?" she suggested.

Hermione waved Harry and Ginny good-bye, and as soon as they were out of earshot, she asked him, "What did you give my dad?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked, and although he gave a perfect act of surprise, she could not be fooled.

"Under the influence of his medication, Dad murmured something about one of my teachers who was there in the middle of the night and made him drink something. At first, I thought it was nonsense. But when I realised how fast his injuries were healing, I just put two and two together. I had toyed with the idea of getting something from St. Mungo's myself, but I could and would not leave my mother alone."

She expected him to deny everything, but to her utter astonishment, he said, "It was a potion I have developed myself. As you already noticed, it helps to speed up the healing process."

"Why did you do that?" she asked quietly and looked up to him, but he avoided her gaze.

Instead, he shrugged and said, "I don't hold these Muggle doctors in high regard."

The answer was very unsatisfying, and while she itched to ask him more questions, all she managed was a whispered, "Thank you."

They walked next to one another in silence for a little while, and when she felt like she could control her voice again, she said, "It was such a shock, to see him like that. He always seemed so strong and invulnerable to me... and then he was in this bed with all the bandages and hoses, could not speak or move. And my mum... she thought he'd die in her arms. She witnessed the accident, you know."

Her voice faded, and she suddenly felt like a little child lost in the woods.

It was a warm, sunny day, but she started shivering when she finally realised the whole range of what she could have lost in one single moment. She did not know what made her, but she could not resist the urge to tell him about her parents – what they liked, what they did in their spare time.

Severus did not interrupt her one single time. But he did not look at her either, and when she had finished, she repeated, "Thank you, Severus."

He acknowledged her words with a small nod, and when he turned his head to meet her eyes, she saw an uncommon expression of gentleness in his eyes.

"How... what were your parents like?" Hermione asked.

He remained silent for quite a while, and when she was sure there wouldn't be an answer, he said, "My father was a very well educated man. A physician."

"Oh," she gasped in surprise.

For some reason, she had always thought that his father had been an unskilled worker at best, who made some money wherever he could.

"Yes, he was an aspiring young scientist with ambitious goals. And then... he met my mother. When he got to know who she was... what she was, everything changed. Until then, natural laws had been his world. Every phenomenon he knew could be explained by physical laws. But then he was confronted with something that could not be explained at all. Magic and sorcery were things he could not research with any means he had. It turned the world as he knew it, everything he had ever believed in, upside down. The whole construction and the world he was living in came tumbling to the ground, and there was nothing left but debris. He hated her for it. And he hated me even more because I descended from him, but I was like her – just as inexplicable, just as abnormal."

His voice did not give the slightest hint that his childhood must have been a living hell. But it was his neutral tone that made Hermione's heart contract in pain.

"I'm so sorry," she said, almost inaudibly.

"You don't have to be," he answered with a shrug. "I never knew anything else."

She stopped. "I know that you don't want to hear this, Severus, and I know that you probably think I am naïve and childish. But you are a good man and nothing you say or do will ever change my mind."

"Nothing?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing," she confirmed.

"You are indeed very naïve. I have seen things, Hermione. I have done things that..."

"... lie in the past," she interrupted. "I wish you could see yourself through my eyes only once, Severus."

The words had barely escaped her mouth when she made a decision...