Chapter Seven

Lily tried to send an owl to Severus, but her father had caught her. He then confiscated both the letter and the owl she and Rose shared. So Lily tried sneaking out to find Severus instead, but her mother caught her.

Rose smirked and Lily flushed throughout their mother's lecture concerning their 'precious gift'; not something to be given away lightly, apparently. She tuned out, or at least tried to. Precious gift? The only thing Lily had lost this holiday was her owl. Their mum asked if she was listening. Mumbling her assent, she buried her chin in her hands and wished she knew a really good disappearing spell.

Finally, she'd given up trying to contact Severus and just stayed in her room weeping, sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of anger, sometimes both at the same time. By the time the holidays ended and she was to return to school, she was exhausted.

*****

It wasn't until they'd pulled out of King's Cross on the Hogwarts Express that Lily finally got a chance to see Severus. He was tucked off in a corner of a carriage, two quivering first years sitting across from him. The relief that washed over her when she saw him, still in one piece, was like a tidal wave. But he paid her no attention, simply stared out the window.

"Severus?" Lily asked, keeping her distance. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

"Go away, Evans."

Lily was taken aback. He wouldn't even look at her.

"Sev..."

"I said, go away."

"Why?" she demanded angrily.

"Because I..." His voice trailed off. "Because I don't love you anymore." But Lily heard it, the slight crack in his voice.

She moved into the carriage and sat down next to him. She reached out to touch him, but he scooted along the seat, pressed right up against the wall, putting as much distance as possible between them.

"I know that's not true, Severus," Lily said, and was finally rewarded by him looking at her. She smiled as she saw his face. "You're okay!"

"I'm getting much better at those Healing Charms, Lily." The bitterness of his voice pierced her heart.

"What did she do to you?" Lily whispered, reaching out a hand to touch him, to make sure he really was okay. Her fingers barely brushed his cloak before a sharp bolt wrenched through her, knocking her back.

He leapt from his seat. "Don't touch me!" he bellowed. The two tiny first years looked terrified at one another then ran from the carriage. Quieter, Severus begged, "Please, don't touch me."

Her fingers burned, and looking down she saw tiny blisters forming on their tips.

"What on earth was that?" she asked, looking from her scorched fingers up to Severus.

"Another one of mother's little inventions," Severus replied angrily.

"Well, can't we fix it?" Lily asked.

"You don't think I've tried? I spent the last two days researching, up all night trying to find anything to remove it. But everything I've tried since I got on the train hasn't done a damn thing."

"We'll fix it," Lily insisted. "We'll go to the library. We'll talk to Madam Pomfrey...."

"I doubt any of that will work. I'm sure this isn't exactly the sort of thing you'd find in any of the Hogwarts books, Lily. Mother always had a fascination with the Dark Arts."

*****

Lily left the Great Hall with her fellow Gryffindors, feeling full and tired after the huge welcome feast.

She had watched Severus over dinner, had seen him smile bitterly at her. No, she wasn't just going to sit back and let his mother get away with this. They would find the cure.

"Severus!" Lily called, as she saw his retreating back a little further up the corridor.

He looked around, glanced at his fellow Slytherins, then hung back, waiting for her, looking a little uncomfortable.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked, worried at the way Mulciber and Avery were looking back at them from down the corridor.

"I'm fine," Severus said, but his voice was a little terse.

"You're fine, but...?"

Severus sighed. "You'd find out soon enough anyway," he replied. "Rachel Hillary's parents were killed over the holidays."

"Oh," Lily said. Her heart clenched. Rachel was in Ravenclaw, a lovely girl she shared a desk with in Transfiguration.

"The Dark Lord killed them, Lily. Because they were Mud... Muggle born."

"Lord Voldemort? But...but the Ministry has him under control!" Lily exclaimed. "He's just some nutter with a God complex. That's what they all say."

"So they'd have everyone believe. Look, just keep yourself safe, okay? Don't go wandering around after dark by yourself. Don't go doing anything stupid...."

Lily took offence at that. "I don't do stupid things, Severus! And besides, like Dumbledore would let Lord Voldemort just wander around the castle."

"You...you can't be too careful, Lil. He's out for... for Muggle-borns." He glanced back up the corridor. "You wanted something?"

"Huh?" Lily said, too lost in thought at what Severus had said. Lord Voldemort had killed Rachel's parents? Sure, she'd heard the rumours of the disappearances and murders before now, but not of anyone she knew. And they'd just been rumours. A sick feeling clenched at her gut. This was too real.

"You called me back here, I assume you wanted to tell me something?" Severus interrupted her thoughts, sounding a little impatient.

"Oh. Um. Yeah. Meet me in the library lunchtime tomorrow, we'll see if we can't find a cure for your mother's lovely hex."

Severus raised one sceptical brow, but nodded anyway. "Okay. Just don't hold your breath, Lily, I know what that woman is like. I suspect even she doesn't know how to reverse it."

"We can but try," Lily replied. She saw the last of the Gryffindors disappearing up the stairs. "I'd better go. See you tomorrow." She went to kiss him, then quickly pulled away as the memory of touching him on the train emanated painfully from her blistered fingers.

"Good night, Lily," Severus said down-heartedly. He swooped off up the corridor after the other Slytherins. Lily watched with a little trepidation as she saw him catch up with Mulciber and Avery, as they slapped him on the back and ushered him away.

Why did it all have to go wrong? Summer had been so wonderful, and now... now Lily didn't know what. But she had a terrible feeling, a sense of impending doom squirming like a serpent in her stomach, that things were only going to get worse. Much, much worse.

*****

Try as they might, with so many hours spent in the library, even pleading with Madam Pomfrey (who, after concluding it only happened when Severus touched Lily, that it was indeed a very good deterrent-cum-contraceptive and perhaps she should ask Mrs Snape for it), nothing worked.

Lily did find one thing, though. "Once you turn seventeen, it'll wear off," she told Severus one day over yet another tumbling stack of books in the library. "Well, at least I think so. Hexes for Heterosexuals says that any spell held over a child by their parents will cease to be once the witch or wizard comes of age."

"They haven't met my mother," Severus replied dolefully.

"Well, we can only hope!" Lily said, trying to sound optimistic.

"Yeah."

"Good afternoon, Snivellus."

Lily's head jerked up to find Sirius and James standing over their table. James cocked his head, reading from the selection of books Severus had before him. "Love charms, hexes and cures. Merlin, Evans, do you know what he's done to you?" James' gaze bore into Lily.

"Severus has done nothing to me," Lily retorted, then cringed as she realised what she'd said.

Sirius and James burst into laughter. "Why does that not surprise me? I doubt Snivellus would know what to do with it anyway!"

Severus leapt to his feet, his wand out and directed right at the duo.

"I'd hate to think what sort of state yours is in, Black," Lily spat, glaring at him. "And as for Potter here, well, he has such an obvious way with the ladies, charmed me right off my feet. I suspect he's starting to cramp your style now."

"Now Evans, no need to be like that. I'm positive if you'd just spend two minutes alone with me, you'd realise I am more than talented in the–"

"Bastard!" Severus yelled. "Don't you dare talk to her like that!"

"Afraid she's going to take me up on it, Snivelly? Won't be her loss, I assure you," James replied.

Lily gave him a disgusted look and began packing up her books.

"Sure, Evans. Better watch it, Snivelly, it's only a matter of time before she's mine," James said. Lily looked up and saw him turn to go, saw Severus' face, saw his wand arm move, his mouth form the beginnings of Sectumsempra.

"No!" she screamed, diving for his arm, knocking his wand off-direction. She heard the tear of paper, saw the sliced remains of an entire shelf of books flutter to the floor, but the sudden pain in her hands and her right leg distracted her completely. Falling to the ground, she tried to clutch at her leg, then screamed in pain as her hands touched her skin. Terrified, she turned her palms over. They were scorched red, blisters the size of marbles covering every centimetre that had touched Severus.

"Lily!" Severus cried, bending down over her. He reached out to help her, then quickly drew his hand away. Turning, he glared up at Potter and Black, both of whom stood there, frozen to the spot. "Help her!"

Potter moved first, bending down to look at Lily's hands as she whimpered in agony.

"Merlin," James muttered, sliding his arms under her and lifting her up to carry her from the library.

"What the hell did you do to her?!" James yelled over his shoulder at Severus. "You are going to pay for that, Snivellus."

*****

Madam Pomfrey did manage to fix Lily's hands and leg, but it had taken over a week of agony before the blisters finally disappeared, leaving her hands red and raw. Not once did Severus visit Lily in the hospital wing. By the time Lily was allowed to leave, she was beside herself with worry once more.

It hadn't taken her long to find him, though. As she struggled with the key in the lock to their cave, her hands sorely protesting, she jumped slightly in surprise as the door was pulled open before her. Severus stood inside, looking at her and then away.

"Severus?" She spoke with uncertainty.

"We have to talk."

Her stomach clenched. That didn't sound good. "Okay," she said, entering the cave. He nodded at one of the pumpkin fizz boxes and she sat herself down.

"I can't see you any more."

Lily sat there, dumbstruck. Finally, she managed one word. "What?"

"I can't see you any more. Look at what it's doing to you!" he exclaimed, nodding at her hands she held gingerly in her lap.

"It was an accident..."

"An accident that could have been far worse."

"So, you're going to let them win? You're going to just leave me, let your mother have her way, let Potter have his way? That's not the Severus Snape I know. The Severus I know is brave and cunning, not a coward."

His eyes bore into hers in anger. "Don't call me a coward!"

She cringed, but was glad. It was the response she'd been hoping for. "Well then, don't go giving up just–"

"Cowardly would be to keep doing this, to keep seeing you despite the fact that I can hurt you, have hurt you. Cowardly and selfish."

"Rubbish," Lily said, waving a dismissive hand at him. "Don't be silly, Severus."

"Silly? Silly?! I heard you screaming, Lily, saw you writhing in pain. You spent a week in the hospital!"

"And I'm fine!" she insisted. But he turned away. "Please, Severus, don't do this to me." Tears stung her eyes. Her voice faltered and failed.

He turned around, looked at her, then slumped down on one of the make-shift seats. "Then what am I supposed to do?" he pleaded.

"Be my friend."

"Do you have any idea, Lily, how hard it is to be in the same room as you, to see, to smell you, and not touch you? It's torture." He looked genuinely pained.

"And don't you think not talking to me at all wouldn't be worse? I couldn't bare it if you weren't my friend anymore, Severus. Truly, I couldn't."

He sighed, running his hands through his lank hair in frustration. "Okay. Fine. But anything else, you get hurt once more, and it has to be over."

Lily smiled. That compromise would suffice for now.

*****

Weeks came and went, and although Severus was still around, Lily couldn't help but notice he was spending less time in her company. It wasn't that he didn't seem to like her anymore, but every time he looked at her she could see the pain and worry in his eyes. She didn't push the issue, he needed time to realise that she was right, that they were still friends, always would be.

But rumours began to flutter to her ears of what he was doing with his spare time – spending more and more of it with those Slytherin boys, Mulciber and Avery. The last Lily had heard, Avery's father had been locked away in Azkaban for murdering a Muggle. Murder!

And the rumours of Voldemort's growing influence and power were often accompanied by mention of the Slytherins' names. She worried for Severus, worried what he was getting himself into.

But, he must know what he was doing. Severus was smart, Lily rationalised. He wouldn't do anything stupid.

Her conclusion was rattled though, when her sister came to her one day. She looked terrible, nasty looking pimples had broken out across her face, but when Lily took a good look at them, she was torn between feeling sorry for her sister and laughing out loud. The angry red eruptions distinctly formed the words 'I am Rose' across her forehead. Severus' jinx had worked.

"You've been pretending to be me again!" Lily exclaimed.

"I...I'm sorry, Lil. Really," she said miserably.

"Well, it serves you right!" Lily retorted, turning to leave.

"Wait!" Rose called, and something in her voice ground Lily to a halt. "There's something I have to tell you."

Lily turned, but didn't step any closer to her sister. "What?" she demanded.

And what Rose had to say devastated her.

*****

She'd had no choice, she'd had to go to Dumbledore. The things Rose said Severus was planning on doing to James Potter.... Yes, she detested James, but by the sounds of things Severus had no qualms about hurting him. It was as if something inside Severus had cracked.

The plan, according to Rose, had been to get James up on the Astronomy Tower, and Severus had wanted her help persuading him there. And it had been Rose he'd told, thinking it was her. He could no longer tell them apart, and that said worlds to Lily.

She'd had to go to Dumbledore, of course, she had no choice, though it had taken her a while after her sister had told her of their plan, debating whether she should get Severus into trouble. But afterwards, she knew she'd done the right thing. Up there had been waiting half a dozen Slytherins armed with magic she didn't even dare to read about. And her sister had been caught up in it too.

And James... James had taken her tattling as a declaration of desire for him, following her around the school, pushing harder and harder for her to go out with him. The pained look she'd caught on Severus' face when he saw James sitting next to her out on the lawn one day haunted her.

And now it looked like she'd lost Severus for good. He hadn't spoken to her in over a week, had been skipping Potions and avoided making eye contact with her in the Great Hall. Finally, though, she'd caught up with him in the courtyard, not leaving up until he acknowledged her. And then she'd tried to explain to him, tried to make him understand why she'd had to go to Dumbledore, but he didn't seem to comprehend a word.

"You said you would, you said you would help!" he stammered angrily.

"You seriously think I'd agree to something like that?" Lily spat back at him. Severus looked at her, confused. Still, he didn't seem to realise he'd been talking to Rose. Lily was torn between anger and crying. He was no longer hers.

"I thought we were supposed to be friends?" Severus said to her as they walked across the courtyard. "Best friends?"

"We are, Sev," she said, but she wasn't sure she believed that anymore. She was friends – but with the Severus of last summer, not this Dark creature who took pride in torturing her fellow Gryffindors. "But I don't like some of the people you're hanging around with!" She chose her words carefully, not wanting to accuse him of anything. "I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber!" She paused for a moment, frustrated. Couldn't he see what he was becoming? "What do you see in him, Sev? He's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?" Poor Mary was still recovering in the hospital wing, her mutilated arm under Madam Pomfrey's watchful gaze. And all because she'd refused to go to the top of the Astronomy tower with Mulciber one evening.

Lily leaned against a pillar, tired from it all. Tired of fighting against James and Sirius, tired of getting into trouble over things her sister did. And tired of having to constantly calm Severus down, hoping he'd see reason and stop all this nonsense. She looked at Severus' thin, sallow face, and wondered what had happened to the boy she'd met five years ago. Wondered what had happened to the young man she'd spent her summer with.

"That was nothing," Severus said, dismissing her concern. "It was a laugh, that's all–"

Lily was furious. And scared – scared that he thought getting an innocent girl sent to the hospital wing was a joke. "It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny–"

"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" demanded Severus. His face contorted in fury, and Lily could see him struggling to contain his resentment.

"What's Potter got to do with anything?" she demanded in turn. But with Severus, everything seemed to come back to James. He was obsessed with him that it was scaring her.

"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?"

Confused, Lily found herself repeating to him what she'd been told. "He's ill. They say he's ill–"

"Every month at the full moon," Severus said sceptically.

"I know your theory," Lily said coldly. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"

"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are." He stared at her, making her blush. She knew he was referring to the day he'd seen her speaking to James on the lawn. It was ridiculous really, she didn't like him. She wouldn't ever like him. And she'd made that abundantly clear to him, time after time.

"They don't use Dark Magic, though." She hushed her voice, aware of all the other students having stopped to stare. "And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there–"

Severus' face contorted so Lily no longer recognised him. "Saved? Saved? You think he was playing hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too! You're not going to – I won't let you!"

Lily was furious. How dare he start making demands on what she could and couldn't do and whom she could and couldn't speak to while he was hanging out with those horrid Slytherins, not listening to a word of her warnings. "Let me? Let me?" she squeaked, her anger taking her voice.

She saw him squirm, realising his error.

"I didn't mean – I just don't want to see you made a fool of – he fancies you, James Potter fancies you!" Severus seemed pained at this admission, like the words were being wrenched from him against his will. "And he's not... Everyone thinks... Big Quidditch hero–"

Lily could have felt pity for him, his fury leaving him incoherent, but she still fumed over his daring to tell her what to do.

"I know James Potter is an arrogant toerag," she said, silencing his outburst. "I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber and Avery's idea of humour is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them."

Lily looked at him, her anger sliding for a moment as she saw Severus calm, his body relaxing, even the flicker of a smile on his face. She stood there, almost expecting an apology.

"Lily, come on, we're going to be late!" one of her friends called from across the courtyard.

Lily pulled herself upright from the pillar. "Just you think about what I said!" Lily snapped at him, as she hurried off to her next class.

___________________________________

AN: Big hugs to my stunning beta for her whirlwind performance on this one (and on it)

Legal stuff: Parts of this chapter contain quoted material from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - no copyright infringement intended, just having some fun!