I hope you continue to enjoy the rest of the story! Thanks for reviewing.Livvy

I hope you continue to enjoy the rest of the story! Thanks for reviewing.Livvy

Oh, I know. THey are very conservative, but they aren't particular about grammer at all. THat's one of the reasons I started coming here and THe Restricted Section. Well, I'll check after the 3rd for your next chappie.

Glad you liked the chapter!

Thanks,

Livvy

Thanks alot. I was sweating over this one. But dammit, I just had this stuff coming out and I'm so glad so far people have been cool with Amanda's views on Lily. Hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

Thanks,

Livvy

Thanks for reviewing! I appreciate all your comments and I have to admit, this story has been the most difficult for me to write. I stuck with it though, trying to see where I could stretch Snape and see how he deals with a very volitile and "in your face" kind of girl that Amanda is. I'm happy you are still sticking with the story. I hope you are satisfied with the conclusion.

Thanks again,

Livvy

LOL! You made me laugh. So true, never trust a Malfoy when he says "trust me". And Lily, oh man, yeah, she needed to tell him off. That's the kind of girl Amanda is, she'll blow you out of the water! Yes, Amanda will be coming to terms with a lot soon.

Thanks for reviewing! I hope you like the next chapter.

Livvy

Yes! That was what I was hoping to convey. There is so much sorrow in their lives, they need to lean on one another and in turn help each other.

Thanks for reviewing!

Livvy

Thanks for reviewing! I loved writing this chapter.

Livvy 

They are quite the pair aren't they! More to be revealed!

Livvy 

Severus is a virgin in a way, a very important way. Remember from when Amanda viewed her father's pensieve and saw Snape ordered to rape and kill the Muggle girl? That was a significant , or you could say defining moment in his sexual life. I can say that he does feel threatened and perhaps scared that she has had experience and he is very curious as to how "normal" sexual relations are like. Lots of dysfunction and insecurity there with Snape. More to be revealed.

Thanks for reviewing

Livvy

Madame Peale basically got the crap scared out of her when she realized what kind of man she had married. Dumbledore told Severus Dangler refused her to take the child from him. She is a cold woman and chose to save her own skin and I guess felt even a sexual predator like Dangler would still have enough scruples to keep Amanda safe. You see it a lot with abusive men. For example, Nazis, they loved their families and took care of thier children, but thought nothing at all to torture, rape, and kill Jews. This was the kind of man Dangler was and that will be mentioned later.

Another thing about Madame Peale, she pushed her daughter to take on her profession of Potions mistress, while Amanda had her heart set on becoming an Auror. It is obvious Peale only cares about herself and her own status and she views her daughter as an extension of herself. Amanda will have to come to decision about her mother's forced influence on her life.

Livvy

Yes, he chose to be a death eater, but did he chose to be raped? That is the victimization I am referring to. Snape will talk about his feelings about his own rape as well as the rape of the Muggle girl.

True, they need each other to help the other to put the past to rest. THey both were given warped ideas of the world and the people in those worlds at a young age- even at 15, 16, 17, those are critical years.

Thanks for reviewing,

Livvy

I wonder if Severus knew what he was getting into when he thought about joining the Death Eaters.  Do they tell them ahead of time what is expected of them?  If not then  the only chose he had was either be raped or killed.

Yeah, I've always hated that little bastard. There is a lot of tension and fear there- on both sides. And it's interesting you pointed that out: the opposite of love is not hate: it is indifference. And these two are NOT indifferent to one another.

Livvy

Interesting point of view! Hope you continue to like the story.

Livvy 

I wish I could write a SS/HG fic. I love them, and read them all the time. Unfortunately, I can not write Hermione. I don't think I have the ability to give her character an honest voice. Now, Snape, I know-and there is enough dysfunction to go around.

My very first fic, "It's not going to stop", doesn't have rape and the more darker aspects that I admit the ones I am writing now have taken. Also, there is no fairy tale ending.

My husband agrees with you, but I have to admit, I write what I know. I'm not saying my stories are my life, but having experiences with dating men who were like Snape before I found the wonderful man my husband is- I feel I understand the character and the many, many, issues that surround this complex character.

My next fic that I will post after "Collide" is not centered on rape, there are aspects of abuse, but not physical, more emotional. And even that is not prolonged. Hopefully, you'll like the change, although the fic is still serious. When you have Snape as a male romantic lead, these things can not be avoided. He is a very psychologically warped character, and I like to remain true to what Rowling gave us. I love the quote she said when a woman claimed she would love to be in a relationship with Snape. First, Rowling asked her if she were thinking about Snape or Alan Rickman! LOL

But the thing Rowling said that stuck with me was when she shuddered and said; "Who would want Snape to be in love with them. That's a scary thought." And it is- to me, so I have to work with him. I guess I do "work out" my own feelings through my writing Snape. My Original characters are so hard to write. I blame the muse! I've been able to be more honest and open about feelings I have had inside me and have shared them with people like yourself, more than with people I've known my whole life.

Sorry this is so long. Your comment truly has struck a chord. I do hope you'll keep reading after you've read this one. Once you've been told by a man "You belong to me- you are mine" and then experience what that means, you can never be light-hearted about certain things again. You can grow to forgive and see them in a new light, but never light-hearted.

Thanks,

Livvy

In no way did I mean to sound as if I thought the subject matter was flippant. Many of us have experience abusive relationships and rapes. I guess that's why I choose not to read about them, to be away from it. I guess it's why it was disappointing that this was another one.You have a very different perception of Snape than I do. Canon has the Harry filter where we get to see what a prat Snape is to Harry and other students, but if you'll look at all the situations where we see Snape without Harry's filter or with other adults when he doesn't know Harry is around, he's well liked by the others (staff, Order), amicable (hangs round in the staff room, goes to parties), and even caring (clutches a chair to show concern over Ginny Weasley's fate, other things)--though not sappy. After book seven, I've seen first hand how Snape is with someone he loves, and I will never be able to buy an overly controlling Snape completely I'm afraid. He was quite whipped by Lily, even crying over here nearly 20 years later. I've read the Rowling interviews as well, and I believe up until now (after it's all said and done), she was trying to steer people clear of what was deep down behind his mask. She wanted us to dislike Snape so we'd be duped when we found out he was actually Dumbledore's man. She's finally changed her tune.I think you could do Hermione justice. You make these girls sound just fine. Have you tried to write her? Perhaps write a story from Snape's pov only so that you don't have to be inside Hermione's head. That might be a starting place for you.No hard feelings. I will check into what you upload next to see if it's my cuppa. Good luck

Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you are liking the story!

Livvy 

Excellent! Congrats on Algebra- I was an abysmal failure at it. I was more of a geometry person. Can't wait for your next chappie, I've been looking to see if you had posted.

Yes, Lily will be an interesting discussion point between these two and I hope I won't be scalped by those who are die-hard Lily fans. Amanda has her own opinion about Lily. I guess I can always blame the muse! :)

I'll be waiting for your Chapter three!

Thanks,

Livvy 

Yes, they both have a lot of hurt and betrayal issues. Plus they both use aggression to hide thier feelings behind. It's going to continue to be bumpy for a while, stubborn people!  LOL

Thanks,

Livvy 

Thanks, when I saw her picture I thought, damn that's her! Especially in later chapters, can't tell you why, but the hair up and not perfect looking and all in black.

Sorry you had a time trying to review. It's so different for each site, but I'm glad you got theough.

Thanks,

Livvy 

Thank you so much!Livvy

It's great seeing you over on this site! Awe, that was sweet. I feel so much better now. Yes, that's the thing with those two. They definately grate on each other's nerves.

Thanks so much for reviewing!

Livvy 

Whoops! That would be correct-much more upsetting given the situation.Thanks!Livvy

Thanks for reviewing! It is very intense, but I hope you will continue to like it and keep with the story. I LIVE for reviews!

Next chapter will be up soon.

Thanks,

Livvy

It's going to take some tie for it to sink in :)

It's going to take some tie for it to sink in :)

Yes, it was pretty horrific, but it was only specific parts that Amanda's father wanted her to see.THanks for reviewing!Livvy

Yes, it was pretty horrific, but it was only specific parts that Amanda's father wanted her to see.THanks for reviewing!Livvy

He's had a really hard life coupled with two bad choices. He's got a lot of self-loathing.Livvy