A Vision Through the Dirty Window
Chapter 17 of 20
Celestial MelodyRiana has a dream that seems all too real.
ReviewedA Vision through the Dirty Window
Riana tossed and turned in her tangled sheets, using her pent-up energy to will sleep to come as her slanted eyes gazed tiredly at the full moon outside. Yes, her day had been long, full, and thoroughly enjoyable, and she should have welcomed the setting of the sun with open arms, yet ... she could not. Despite the rather uncomfortable sensation that every bone in her body was cracking in agony when she moved, and despite the fact that every strained and tight muscle in her small body groaned with fatigue ... she could not sleep. The dirty streaks on the window in her room at the Leaky Cauldron slightly dimmed the glow from the giant, white moon, but not enough for slumber to approach.
Throwing back the confining blankets, Riana sat up in the sagging bed, knees pulled to her bony chest, her ultra-lean frame highlighted by the pale shafts of light drifting through the room. Swinging her toothpick-thin legs over the corner of the mattress, Riana scooted closer to the rim, finally edging off and standing, toes curled in cold agony, on the chilly, wooden floorboards.
She cast one glance at Alvean, the corners of her proud mouth twitching at the sight of the sleeping form, and then scurried to the mirror. Pulling off the nightgown (for the first time that week, she had finally been awake enough to get undressed before bed), Riana shrewdly examined her skeletal body in the moonlight. The dappled effect the moon gave to her body turned Riana into a phantom ... a thin, shrinking wraith. Nevertheless, though she did not see this true reflection, Riana's eyes lit up as she poked at individual bones with a pencil-like finger. Pleased, she turned from the mirror, replacing the thin nightgown, and approached the window, standing high on tiptoe to peer over the edge.
Gazing down at the foggy street below, Riana's eyes confronted an eerie, foreign landscape. Wreaths of smoky mist curled around lampposts and obscured the pavement as Riana gazed down on the spooky scene. Suddenly, with a bone shaking lurch, Riana felt herself falling into the spooky, shadowy world outside the streaked window.
But she didn't fall.
Instead, she found herself looking through the same grimy window...only she wasn't in room number eight anymore. Gazing back over her lightly-clothed shoulder, Riana's squinted eyes met nothing but inky blackness. Shivering slightly at the nothingness, she turned her gaze again through the grubby window.
Leanne sat on a mussed bed, surrounded by pink. Pink walls, pink furniture, pink upholstery, pink everything.
Riana's slanted grey eyes widened in surprise. What is Mum doing here? She leaned closer, peering at her mum's hazy face.
Silent tears sent silvery trails in rivulets down Leanne's pale, newly sunken, cheeks. Her enormous eyes were closed; the face that Riana remembered so very well wore an expression of abject misery. Leanne's forehead was twisted in recent age wrinkles and the droop of her mouth was tragic, contorted, and grief-stricken. She sat still as a statue, but for the quiet sobs that racked her petite frame. She was completely unaware that she was being watched.
Riana felt a sudden alien longing to approach the woman who had been her mother, her comforter, for eleven, lengthy years. She wanted to place her thin arms around the weeping woman and soothe her. Though the feeling was new and odd, Riana knew that she must ... or she would never forgive herself, for she knew, instinctively, that she was the cause of her mother's grief. Resolutely squaring her thin, shadowy shoulders, Riana placed a small, emaciated foot in front of her...
And, as though the fates conspired against her, she felt a wave of shock flowing through her gaunt body as her foot struck something hard...something invisible. The tremor raced from her long toes, through the out-standing bones of her feet, into the two protracted bones that formed her ankle, passing the protruding, knobby knees, the pencil-thin thighs, the jutting hipbones, individual ribs and, finally, reverberating loudly in her chest.
No, Riana thought, her stunned brain barely comprehending this distinct emotion through the sharp pain, in my heart. This bizarre realization shocked Riana even more than the magical barrier had as she realized that she could not comfort her mum. Even more that she longed to.
Leanne continued to sob pitifully, the silver tears spilling in silently thundering waterfalls from under her eyelids. She clutched a dark blue picture frame containing a photograph in her hands. Suddenly, though, her long, white hands (hands that Riana had always envied, for they were naturally slender) moved slightly, and the portrait was revealed to be a little girl. A thin, little girl with straight black hair, slanted grey eyes and a small, aristocratic smirk on her sharply pointed features.
The little girl's photograph, however, was not the only item clutched in Leanne's white-knuckled grasp. No, indeed; upon further examination, Riana could clearly discern the edge of a book covered in Chinese silk, peeking out from under the photograph. Straining her slender eyes, Riana actively willed her dream-mother to adjust the items lying in her lap.
As if hearing a voice, long hoped-for, long-missed, Leanne's head jerked up, the flow of thick, pearly tears abating fractionally as she cocked her head one side, chestnut hair falling over her eyes. She waited...
Riana pushed still harder with her long, thin hands and her aggravated, pulsating brain at both the invisible physical and mental barriers existing between her world and that of her mother's.
A strange look passed over Leanne's face and her large eyes snapped open in surprise. At that very moment, the two separate worlds collided as a pair of misty, midnight blue eyes gazed, shocked, into a pair of slanted, steely grey ones. The objects clenched in the white hands fell to the floor, and the edges of the book smashed into the glass of the photograph, shattering it with an earsplitting crack. But this neither Leanne nor Riana noticed as, following the descent of the silken book and photograph, each gaze was wrenched painfully away from the other.
Emitting a cry of pain, Riana reached a thin hand up to her silvery eyes and pressed her palms to them, rubbing vigorously. The fall of the book had caused her gaze to be torn away from her mother's and was shockingly agonizing. As she rubbed at her closed eyes, Riana felt, rather than heard, another voice tugging at her subconscious, pulling her back into the musty bedroom at the Leaky Cauldron. Part of her mind whispered dazedly, The Leaky Cauldron? What's that? as she quickly and sharply opened her eyes. She ignored the throbbing pain and returned her piercing gaze to the dream room where Leanne was sitting, stock-still and staring, on the ghastly pink bed.
Carefully ignoring the prone figure frozen on the bed, Riana's evading gaze hurriedly glanced at the floor where the broken glass from the photograph mixed with the fibers of pink carpet, creating a sparkling mélange of color as it was touched by the pinpricks of moonlight from the room's open windows.
The book lay to one side as Riana strained to make out the words embroidered in glittering gold silk thread on the cover. Her head began to ache terribly as another voice called, urging her, pulling her, from the other world. Using one last newfound bit of strength, Riana poured a colossal effort into determining the impossibly ornate thread writing on the book.
Just as she was nearing the realization, however, she was yanked bodily away by another invisible force and distributed gracelessly back onto the dusty, hard, wooden floorboards of room number eight in the pub known as the Leaky Cauldron.
*
A pair of feline, yellow eyes stared down at her worriedly. The tanned, and now Riana could see, slightly freckled, nose hovered a mere three inches away from her own. Seeing her grey eyes open, the face heaved a giant, explosive sigh of relief and sweet, warm breath caressed Riana's thin face. Riana wondered abstractedly if she knew this androgynous person. The neutral face's mouth opened and a low, growling voice questioned, "Riana?"
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Latest 25 Reviews for Serpent in the Moonlight
33 Reviews | 7.45/10 Average
It was all incredibly well-written. So does Riana get help to deal with her anorexia? Did you adopt the plot in another more well-read FF because we readers here aren't doing your authoring justice in reviewing? I think it's just that the traffic isn't high, but it will come! Is the completed FF posted in another HP portal?
Love your pace. And the OCs. Too bad I wouldn't have come across this story if not for the random FF spinner.
I have been reading your story avidly since the beginning. Good work, though I wish the girl would eat!
Wow ... a much longer chapter! I have about thirty seconds to review, so I'll just say that that was great, and I can't wait till they get to Hogwarts. I'm glad Fabian will be looking out for her!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Oh, I know ... it was very long. I'm not too fond of it, actually, so I'm going to rewrite it and then resubmit it. I'm glad you enjoyed it though. Your reviews, as always, truly encourage me! :-)I, too, cannot WAIT until they get to Hogwarts ... it's been too long. :-PThanks again!~Julia~
Ooh ... what an unusual idea! I'm looking forward to finding out exactly what happened in that chapter. Does Leanne know that Riana is at the Leaky Cauldron now?I thoroughly enjoyed your writing in that chapter, particularly this : "Carefully ignoring the prone figure frozen on the bed, Riana’s evading gaze hurriedly glanced at the floor where the broken glass from the photograph mixed with the fibers of pink carpet, creating a sparkling mélange of color as it was touched by the pinpricks of moonlight from the room’s open windows."Really lovely. Well done! :)
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thanks for your complimentary review, :). I'm so pleased that you are still enjoying the story.
I'm so glad, too, that you liked the idea for this chapter--it has been the one that most people have complaints against. Some feel it's too vague, others don't understand the point. However, rest assured that there is, indeed, significance in that blue book with the bronze writing. Hee!
I believe that the way in which I wrote it explains why most people find a hard time enjoying it, :-S. This chapter was very similar to my one-shot, "The Ultimate Trust" in that it was very image-oriented and had less of a storyline. Most people don't like that. But I'm thrilled that you tapped into that. Kudos to you for being observant! :P
And about Leanne, yes, she knows that Riana is alive, anyway. But she doesn't know--and I believe I can tell you this without ruining anything--that Riana is at the Leaky Cauldron. There are other things, though, that she does know...Hee! But I won't say what they are.
My utmost thanks, again, for your endlessly wonderful reviews. They truly encourage me. :)
~Julia~
how strange...very interesting...
more. :)
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thanks for R&R-ing. I hope you enjoyed it. :) More should be around soon... but no rushing, eh? We want the next chapter to be good, too. :P Hee!
~Julia~
Response from togspled (Reviewer)
i want to say rush, but i know you're right. take it slow. make it good. (as i know you will.)thank u!
Really nice chapter. I love the way Fabian is having a positive effect on her ... he's good for her.Your writing is getting more and more fluid ... keep it up!And ... can't wait to find out who her parents are! More ... and SOON!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you, as always, for your lovely comments. This was one of my more ... eloquent chapters, I suppose you could say, hee! Just kidding... but, really, I'm grateful to you for your kind words.
I, too, am glad that Riana now has Fabian. He's not perfect, but I love him to death. :)
And... I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit longer to truly know who Riana's parents are. *pulls face* There are aspects of her history that I wouldn't want an eleven-year-old to know. So, years must pass until she finds out the Truth. *giggles and points at the capital T*
Anyway, thanks so much for your comment and I'm going to go and read/review the newest chapter in "Where My Future Lies." :)
~Julia~
Response from little beloved (Reviewer)
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Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
swoons and faints*. YEARS??? We have to wait for YEARS until we find out the Truth (capital T!)???Cruel! Intriguing, though! :) Gosh ... and I thought I was cruel for stringing things along!Gotta go read your new chappie now!BTW: I was slightly incorrect about the inventor of the entrail-expelling curse. It was Urquhart Rackharrow, chapter 22 of OotP.
riana and fabian are so cute together! this mystery about her parents is fascinating. (and i can't wait to see what fabian thinks is 'real fun')
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you so much for your review. :) I'm so glad that you are enjoying Riana and Fabian's time together.
The mystery, yes... that will all be revealed in good time. I'm so glad you're intrigued; your enthusiasm truly encourages me.
Fabian... well, not this next chapter, but the one after that... that will show a bit of Fabian's definition of 'real' fun. :P Not all... but then, Riana's not a werecat either. Thus, she wouldn't be able to accompany him on his nighttime jaunts, more's the pity. :(
Thank you again, though, for your lovely review. I love getting them.
~Julia~
Wonderful! Well written, as always, and Padma Patil is a most welcome addition!There is only one thing I would like to point out, and it is not something you could be exptected to know if you haven't been to Britain. I live in Ireland, lived in England for two years, and make many trips to London/Scotland. Biscuits with gravy (especially the white kind) are an entirely American phenomenon, and would never be found in any pubs/restaurants/diners in Europe. They simply don't exist here. Gravy here is runny and brown, made from meat stock, and biscuits here are what you refer to as cookies.I went to the U.S for the first time in January, and came across 'biscuits with gravy' ... and was very puzzled indeed! There are so many differences between our cultures and U.K/U.S English ... it's quite mind-boggling!Okay ... rambling finished now! Anyway, as I said, I thoroughly enjoyed that chapter, and look forward to the next! Well done! :)
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you for your lovely comments and also for your con. crit. Those comments really help me, I wish I could get more of them, hee! But I will change it right away!
I had no idea that "biscuits" weren't available with (American) gravy. *gasp* It seems to be a main staple on restaurant/cafe' menus here in America.
Again, thank you ever so much for R&R-ing as well as for the correction. :)
~Julia~
Response from little beloved (Reviewer)
You're very welcome! If I had to write a fic set in the U.S, I would be completely lost as regards many things, such as food.I see so many Americanisms creeping into HP fics. A very common one is 'pinkie' ... a word never used here. We simply call it a 'little finger'.Having said that, my beta (who is American) is forever finding Irishisms in my work. Even between England and Ireland there are so many differences in phrases and sayings.Can't what for chapter 12!
Response from little beloved (Reviewer)
Can't what for chapter 12!!!???Can't wait for chapter 12, obviously! ;)
i love your descriptions of the books! ~~Or so she thought…~~ that has me interested indeed...
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thanks very much,
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
! :) It really encourages me that you like the story and find it intriguing. I enjoyed writing the descriptions of the books very much.
And you shall see ... what "~~Or so she thought...~~" meant. Oh, yes ... you shall certainly see. :)
~Julia~
Well done, well written and you obviously have done your homework with all those books ... lots from Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them etc ... I'm looking forward to her meeting students and getting some dialogue going!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Why thank you, :). Yes, if there's one thing I can do ... it's my homework. *grimaces slightly* Although homework for HP is much better than homework for ... anything else. :)
There will be plenty of dialogue in the following chapters, however there is so much background to cover that the first chapters are rather limited in dialogue. Never fear! There are great things to come.
Thanks so much for R&R-ing.
~Julia~
great intro to diagon alley!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you very much. I love writing about Gringotts because it is such an amazing place! Me and my "dusty balustrades," *sigh*
Hee! Thanks again for R&R-ing.
~Julia~
Another good chapter :) Am getting imaptient for her to meet some witches/wizards now, though!Keep up the good work!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you for your review. I assume you've just started reading the story? :)
And there will soon be contact with witches and wizards, hee! :) Chapter after next, I believe...
Again, thanks so much for your review--it was very encouraging!
~Julia~
riana's anorexia seems to be getting worse, poor girl. it'll be interesting to see how that affects her at Hogwarts.
I never would have thought old Tom could make a smoothie! haha...
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Well, thank you, :). Personally, that wasn't my favorite chappie, however, I'm glad that you are still sensing Riana's conflict.
Tom is very talented, hee! The only problem is that he doesn't want anybody to see that, *shiftily looks left and right*
Thank you so much for R&Ring.
~Julia~
This is such an interesting story. I'm so glad to have discovered it! Looking forward to your next update!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you so much! :) I'm thrilled that you are enjoying the story. I didn't want it to be run-of-the-mill, which has caused a smidge of trouble when getting it validated on other sites! Hee! (Something about 'delicate issues...') :P
However, I'm very glad that you have found my story and the next chapter is in queue, so it should be up soon.
~Julia~
What a very different and interesting story! I'm so glad you reviewed mine, or I might not have discovered this!Well written and intriguing ... reading on now!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Oh, thank you so much! I'm so glad I reviewed yours, too, or I might not have ever found it! (That's slightly confusing, but you get the picture, hee!)
Thank you, again, for your kind comments.
~Julia~
Nice start, i like it, please continue soon!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you very much for your review! It encourages me ever so much that you like my story! :)
The next chapter is in queue, so it should be up soon.
~Julia~
And ... I'm so looking forward to her upcoming journey to Hogwarts!!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Oh, thank you very much! I'm sorry that it was such a short chapter, but I'm very glad that you enjoyed it! :)
~Julia~
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
Short chapters are nice ... and sometimes they are essential. As in this case; it was a pivotal point. Now, I'm really looking forward to the next chapter!
omg...parseltongue. riana is a very complex character! (and definitely a true slytherin?) great job
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you very much! I'm so glad you find her interesting. The last thing in the world that I wanted to do was create a "Mary Sue." :) Considering, however, that she's her own person, that wasn't too difficult at all! Thanks for R & R - ing ... I really appreciate it!
~Julia~
Yes, Riana will definitely be sorted into Slytherin. You captured Leanne's feelings very well. Being a mom myself I could feel her desperation. You really have a way of capturing feelings in your writing. I am enjoying this story and looking forward to more!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Hehe, how'd you guess? I'm kidding... yes, I did want her to be in Slytherin. We always hear such bad things about the Slytherins and I wanted to look at the whole "magic" situation from a 'Snake's' position. :)
Thank you very much for your kind review!
~Julia~
Yes, I should be assigned detention with Professor Snape for not reviewing until now. You really have created suspense with this chapter. I loved the detail, her search for the key. It reminded me of similar personal pursuits. But the end, with her mom coming into the kitchen and her trying to look normal, like she wasn't up to anything... well, I could feel my heart thumping in my chest as if I were a teenager again and was definitely up to something. Well done!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Wow. What great praise! :) Thanks very much for your kindness. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. And it's fine that you haven't reviewed 'till now... you've read them, at least. :)
Again, thanks very, very much!
~Julia~
oh i just love it when u post another chapter!
the story is coming along so very nicely. keep it up!
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thanks very much for R&R-ing. *smiles*
I'm so glad you like the story. :) Also, Riana will soon get to Hogwarts, just stick with her, please. The story is taking its own precious time, but I think it will turn out all right ... at least I hope so, hee! :)
~Julia~
Ooooh! Urquhart! Wasn't he that entrail-expelling curse chappie?And yay! His Mum's Irish. Gosh, it looks like this is going to be a seriously long story! Any idea how many chapters?Enjoying ... as always! 
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Hmm.. not sure about the "entrail-expelling" but he was the captain of Slytherin Quidditch team at one point. :)
I love Favel (plus her name is so fun!) She was a pleasure to write, even though she is a very minor character ... at this point. Hee!
About the length, hmm, well... I really don't know how long it's going to be. *laughs uneasily* I was going to try and make it 30 chapters, however, the length of some of the chapters is so short. I simply ended where I felt a cliffhanger would do well. They just happened. I'm sure you know what I mean. :)
Now, though, I'm thinking that I may do volumes of Riana's life. You know, Serpent in the Moonlight: Volume One. This one details her first year. Serpent in the Moonlight: Volume Two... and so on and so forth. A bit like the HP books, but not. There's just so much information about her that I want to share and she can't discover everything in her first year ... that much knowledge would kill her, poor thing. :( Honestly, I have some ghastly stuff planned for her in the future. I'm so mean. Hee! *snickers evilly*
Anyway, that was a really long post. *sigh* I should have just said "Thank You," except that I love getting your reviews and your feedback. Talking to much again... must go. Thanks so much!
~Julia~
so there's still pureblood-mania so long after the HP events? that's intriguing. i'm eager to learn the missing history there. fabian's character is getting more and more complex...
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Oh, as long as there are purebloods, there will be pureblood mania. :) I'm glad you are intrigued by Fabian's character ... the last thing in the world I wanted to do was make him "flat." *cough Ron & Hermione cough cough* Hee! Just kidding... only in canon, not in fanon. :D
I love getting your reviews! :) Thanks so very, very much.
~Julia~
great byplay between riana and fabian. he seems like he'll be good for her with his friendly nature and everything. if only he could convince her to eat a licorice wand...
Response from Celestial Melody (Author of Serpent in the Moonlight)
Thank you so much for your lovely compliments. I do plan to continue Fabian as a foil to Riana ... if only he could get her to eat that Licorice Wand, hee! :)
~Julia~